[theme music]
Stephie, help.
Ah, tie your shoes again?
This is getting old.
You are gonna learn
to tie your shoes
all by yourself, okay?
Alright.
Now.
Pay very close attention.
First, the rabbit
crosses the stream.
'Like that.'
And then,
he goes over the log..
...and around the tree
and through the hole
and voila.
'You've got rabbit ears.'
Now, can you get
the other one tied?
No problem.
Joey, help.
Kids today.
They have it way too easy.
[Jesse Frederick singing
"Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ Ahh ahh ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a place ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Chip-a-dee-ba-ba-dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Good morning.
Look alive.
Michelle, it's too early
to be alive.
What do you want?
Grandma comes today.
Yes, Grandma comes today.
Thanks for the bulletin.
Now go back in your crib
and go to..
Who let you out of your crib?
I let me out.
You mean, you climbed over
the bars
and jumped down
all by yourself?
You got it, dude.
Jailbreak!
Danny, Michelle..
...Michelle, come here.
Come here.
Now, you know how
it works in this house.
If you wanna get out
of your crib you stay there
and scream your head off
until someone lets you out.
Capeesh?
No capeesh.
I'm a big girl.
Jesse, it's Saturday morning.
Don't tell me.
Tell her.
She climbed out of her crib
all by herself.
You did?
Ah.
You know what this means
you little spider baby?
You are ready
for your very own big-girl bed.
[gasps]
Your very own
big-girl bed.
Big-girl five.
Alright.
Hey, Dad, Grandma's cab
just pulled up.
Grandma's here early,
let's go.
Granny Tanny.
[doorbell dings]
(Jesse)
'Coming, Claire.'
- Be right there, mom.
- Here he comes.
It's your grandma.
Well, this family does
everything together.
Here's Granny.
- Hey!
- Grandma, hi!
Kiss me, you fools.
- Hi, Grandma.
- Hi.
Claire. Good to see you.
Let me get your bags.
My baby.
My mommy.
Oh, look, I got lipstick.
Here, let me get that, honey.
- Stand still.
- Okay, mom.
'I couldn't wait to get here.'
I am so pumped.
Well..
...look at this.
Who is this
big-girl right here?
Michelle Tanner.
You're way too big
to be Michelle Tanner.
It's me.
It's my nose.
- Grandma, come sit over here.
- Okay.
We've got a big surprise
for you.
Daddy, can I give her
the present now?
Well, after that,
it would be cruel not to.
Here, Grandma.
Oh, you didn't have
to get me anything.
Exciting.
A paint set.
In honor of your retirement
after 30 years
in the stationary
supply business.
- Happy golden years, Claire.
- Alright.
Golden years, huh?
'Oh, boy.'
What's the matter?
You don't like your gift?
Oh, no, my sweetheart.
I love it. It's beautiful.
I'm gonna take it down
to the park
and paint pictures
of other retired people
who are painting
pictures of me.
I knew we should've
bought perfume.
Honey, no, I'm sorry,
It's just that..
...well now that
I'm divorced
and my kids have grown up
and I'm retired
my life went from
get up and go
to why get up?
Oh, don't worry, mom.
You're gonna find
something fun
to do with your time.
[instrumental music]
I've got a little batter left.
Who wants more pancakes?
(together)
Oh.
Well, that is music
to a grandmother's ears.
No, no, no, sit down, everybody.
Come on, sit, sit, sit.
I am gonna do the dishes.
Mom, we'll do the dishes.
Why don't you take Michelle
upstairs and settle in.
It is so nice
to feel wanted.
Okay, come on,
my sweet angel.
Here we go.
The rest of you guys
hang tight..
...because lunch
is not far away.
(together)
Oh.
Alright, come on,
everybody.
Let's clean the dishes.
Guys, do me a favor.
Stop cleaning.
Just let this mess
sit right here.
Dad, are you feeling okay?
Yes.
Did you see how my mom
was cheered up?
She loves taking care
of us.
I say we spend the weekend
trying to make her feel
like we really need her.
Like we can't get along
without her.
But we really can.
But we'll make it
look like we can't.
You want us to lie?
Daddy, I'm shocked.
Oh, no, honey,
I don't want you to lie.
I want you to
make believe.
Let's all make believe that
we're just too busy
to cook, clean
and take care of you girls.
I don't get it.
Let me see if
I get it.
In order to help Grandma
you want us to make believe
we can't clean our room?
Exactly.
I still don't get--
Make believe you get it.
If it'll help you
and your mom
I'm happy to do
what I can.
Come on, Joseph,
let's trash the living room.
Yeah.
Let's trash it real good.
Guys, please,
trash it neatly.
(together)
Right.
Danny, I have never seen you
leave a mess this long.
Well, you know how it is.
Jesse and Joey gotta work
and I've got errands to run.
And, well, you know, sometimes
it's just hard to keep up.
Yeah, wait till you see
how messy our room's gonna be.
Isn't she an airhead?
Go on, honey,
do what you have to do.
I'm gonna clean the house
this morning
and then I'll spend
the afternoon
with my granddaughters.
Oh, you are the best, mom.
Oh-ho, thanks, hon.
Oh, mom, uh,
one more thing.
I gotta pick out
a new bed for Michelle.
You got any ideas?
Yes, let me pick it out.
You're the boss.
- You are the best boy.
- You are the best mom.
- No, you are.
- You are.
- No, I love you.
- I love you.
- Not as much as I love you.
- I love you more.
- I bet you don't.
- I do too.
[instrumental music]
We're back from the zoo.
Thanks, Grandma.
I thought I had fun before
but now I know how much
fun-fun it can, really be.
Oh, you silly thing.
My pleasure, honey.
Oh, God.
They delivered the bed.
It looks terrific.
Oh, when it's
a great choice, mom.
Thanks, hon.
No one picks out a pencil bed
quite like you, Claire.
It's got that grandma touch.
Well, let's hope
Michelle likes it.
D.J., bring her in.
My big-girl bed.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You little jumping bean.
Give your grandma
a kiss for buying
you a new trampoline.
Thank you, Granny Tanny.
I am in grandma heaven.
Come on, you guys.
I am gonna cook
you such a dinner
you're gonna think
it is Thanksgiving.
(together)
Oh.
(together)
Oh, oh, oh.
Alright, little munchkin.
You enjoy your new bed
but no more jumping
up and down, okay?
- Okay, Uncle Jesse.
- Alright.
Hello.
Were you jumping up
and down
on the bed, young lady?
Who, me?
The truth.
Or I'm gonna
tickle it out of you.
Come here, you.
Here you go.
Mm, good.
I can't remember
when I had a meal
with so much delicious food.
I can, it was lunch.
Danny, how do you like
your Brussels sprouts?
Oh, mom, steamed to perfection.
As usual.
Here, you eat it, Michelle.
Yuck.
Oh, did you boys write
any commercials today?
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
Uh, well,
the point is, Claire
we couldn't have done
anything without you.
Aw, thanks, honey.
Hey, I'm glad to help out.
In fact, If you want me
to stay a little longer
I'm available.
Hey, that's a great idea,
I mean
...why rush back home?
Yeah, hang. You're making
our life a breeze, Claire.
(together)
Claire.
Guys are right, mom.
I don't know how
we've survived without you.
You really mean it?
(together)
Yeah.
We love having you here.
Well, if you guys
really need me that much.
I guess the only logical thing
would be for me to move in.
Move in?
Here?
Sure.
Honey, that would be..
Listen..
...Joey and Jesse
you guys are young
and you're single
and you've devoted two years
of your lives
raising this family.
Now, here's
your big opportunity.
You can move out and get on
with your own lives.
Because Grandma
is movin' in for good.
[instrumental music]
Grandma, are you really
moving in?
Yes.
Guys, are you really moving out?
(together)
No.
Claire, this is,
this is my family now.
I don't want these girls
growin' up without me.
Or me, I can't leave.
I was just chosen
to be Stephanie's
Honey bee hive mother.
Well, listen,
that's even better.
Oh, Jesse, you know what
you move downstairs with Joey
and we'll get you guys
bunk beds.
Yes, bunk beds!
What do you think, Danny, huh?
Oh, well, I think
bunk beds make a lot of sense.
Come on, my little angel,
come on.
I gotta get you ready
for your new bed.
My new bed.
(Michelle)
'Come on, Granny Tanny.'
Here I come,
I'm gonna catch you.
Hey, I got dibs
on the top bunk.
We're not getting
any bunk beds.
Danny, what are we
gonna do here?
Hey, nobody panic, it's just
a little misunderstanding.
We may have done too good a job
of making my mom feel needed.
That's what we get
for lying to her.
So I was right.
We were lying.
Shame on us.
No, we're innocent.
It's your father who put
this whole scam together.
Danny, you gotta tell
your mother
that we really
don't need her.
Oh, man.
That would break her heart.
What the matter, are you afraid
to tell your mom the truth?
Hey, don't worry.
I can be honest with my mom.
I was wondering where those
Brussels sprouts went to.
[instrumental music]
Michelle, there we go.
There.
Why don't you just
bubble pack her?
Danny, I'm sorry, but she's
little and she's round.
And she rolls easy.
I say we build kind of
a fence thing around here.
You mean, like a crib?
I know we have one of those
already, didn't we?
Alright, here, we'll put them
on the floor, just in case.
- Jess, You are always thinkin'.
- There we go.
- Goodnight. I love you.
- Goodnight, Michelle.
Alright, Danny.
Go talk to your mother now.
- Okay.
- Alright.
Whoa.
Michelle, did you say something?
I want my crib.
Michelle, cribs are for babies.
You're a big girl now.
See, the trick to a new bed
is you gotta-you gotta
break it in, you know?
You gotta get
the feel of it.
Alright, first, let's check
the shocks, okay?
Here we go. Ready?
Bada bing, bada bing, bada bing.
Now, that baby's got
a good ride, doesn't it?
Okay, and next,
and most importantly..
...you gotta find
the sweet spot.
Now, the sweet spot is the place
that makes you feel
all nice and cozy and cuddly.
Get out. Let me find it.
Okay, alright, let me see.
Let me see, huh.
That's it, I found it.
Okay, you ready?
Come on, let's see
if you can get it.
Here we go. Ready?
There we go.
There, you're right
in the sweet spot.
Ah, you're gonna sleep
like a baby.
I mean, like a big girl.
Goodnight, little ankle biter.
Uncle Jesse.
Yeah?
Are you leaving me?
Oh, no,
I wouldn't leave you
on your first night
in your new bed.
I-I was just going
to turn off the lights.
And find a good book.
And read it in the dark.
Thank you.
Oh, it's no problem, kid,
I've been
meaning to catch up
on the bunny, the ducky
the turtle and the frog.
I love you.
Right back at you, kid.
[instrumental music]
Hey, pal, let me give
you a hand with those.
You wouldn't
perchance me down here
avoiding your mother,
would you?
Joey, I-I can't go up there
and tell her that I lied to her.
She'd be so disappointed in me.
Look, Danny, if you're nervous
about telling your mom
that we really don't need her
start off with
a small confession.
Tell her how much
you hate her Brussels sprouts.
I could never tell her that.
Danny, this is pathetic.
Now, pretend I'm your mother.
My baby.
Oh, kiss me, you fool.
Let me get that.
Danny, I'm gonna buy
all your friends bunk beds.
Is there anything
you want to say to me?
Yes, mom.
I hate Brussels sprouts.
Oh, why don't you just put
a knife through my heart.
That is exactly
what she's gonna say.
So what if she does?
Danny, It's time to stop
acting like a little kid
who's trying
to make his mommy happy.
- I guess you're right.
- Of course, I'm right.
Now go up there and tell
her the truth, man to mom.
Don't forget,
you're the man.
- Thanks, Joey.
- You got it, pal.
Oh, he's such a good boy.
What you doing, mom?
Figuring out how to fit
six rooms of furniture in here.
Mom, I-I've got something
to tell you.
What's wrong?
Mom, what I gotta tell you is..
...um..
...I hate Brussels sprouts.
There, I've said it,
and now you know.
Don't you ever scare me
like that again.
Who cares if you don't
like Brussels sprouts?
When, We can have eggplant.
Ah, what I'm trying
to tell you is
all my life,
I've been pretending
to like Brussels sprouts
just to make you happy.
That's crazy.
I don't like
Brussels sprouts either.
I keep cooking them because
you keep telling me
you love them.
How could anybody
love a vegetable
that smells like feet?
Danny, you didn't come up here
to talk about vegetables.
What's the problem?
This is so hard, um..
Mom, I don't wanna
disappoint you.
Oh, honey, you've never
disappointed me
in your entire life.
Stay tuned.
Uh, when-when I saw
how upset you were
about your retirement
I asked everybody to..
...kind of pretend
that we really needed
you here.
You lied to me?
I'm dirt and I'm scum
and I should be sent
to a reform school.
I feel so stupid.
I thought everybody
really needed me here.
Why did you do that to me?
Because I was trying
to please you.
I spent my whole life
trying to be the perfect son.
Honey, you're not perfect.
But I will always love you
no matter what you do.
And I am very proud of the man
you turned out to be.
Which I can take just
a little bit of credit for.
Thanks, mom.
So you forgive me?
Of course, I forgive you, honey.
I mean, I understand.
It's just that..
...I'm simply not needed here.
Well, not as a live-in maid.
But the girls could sure
use a grandmother
in the neighborhood.
You really mean that?
You know, I've been trying
to get you to
move down here for years.
There's nothing keeping
you in Seattle.
No.
Come on, we'll go apartment
hunting tomorrow.
Oh, I like that.
Oh, you are a wonderful son.
- You're a wonderful mom.
- Oh, you are the best, honey.
- You're the best.
When did you get so tall?
I've always been this tall.
I've been pretending
to be shorter
because I wanted
to make you happy.
- You are the best.
- Oh, you're the best.
- No, you are best.
- You're the best.
- No, you.
- You're the best.
You are the best.
D.J., do you remember
when I was sleeping in a crib?
Yeah. Life was so easy
when you were behind bars.
Good news, girls.
Your grandma's
gonna move into
an apartment
in the neighborhood.
- Really? That's great.
- Wonderful, great.
So is everything okay
between you two?
Oh, everything is great.
I never have to eat
Brussels sprouts again.
I want you guys to know that
I was wrong asking you to lie
even though I was trying
to make Grandma feel better.
Well, I hope you learned
your lesson.
Oh, I did.
You know, If you ever
do things to try
and make me feel better,
I'd much rather you just
tell me the truth, okay?
(together)
Okay.
Okay, thanks.
- Goodnight. Goodnight.
- Goodnight, dad.
Oh, wait, dad, just a minute.
I thought of something.
Already?
Yeah, I don't really
love cleaning
as much as
you think I do.
- Neither do I.
- You don't?
No. Especially scrubbing
the grout in the shower.
It's incredibly,
totally disgusting.
Well, it is an acquired taste.
And I only asked Santa
for a Dustbuster
because I knew
you'd be proud of me.
I can't believe
he actually brought me one.
A Dustbuster
is a very practical gift.
Dad, then you made me..
[indistinct chatter]
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪♪
[theme music]
[music continues]