[theme music]
Michelle, do you wanna
say hi to grandma?
Okay.
Where is she?
Well, she's at home.
But we're gonna make her a tape.
Okay, give me that.
Hi, grandma. It's Michelle.
Do you remember me?
Now what?
Uh, why don't we sing
the spider song.
- Ready? One, two, three, four.
- One, two, three, four.
♪ The itsy bitsy spider ♪
♪ Went up the water spout ♪
♪ Down came the rain ♪
♪ And washed the spider out ♪
♪ Out came the sun ♪
♪ And dried up all the rain ♪
♪ And the itsy bitsy spider ♪
♪ Went up the spout again ♪♪
- Yeah!
[Jesse Frederick singing
"Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ What ever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milk man
the paper boy evenin' TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a place ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Chip-a-dee-ba-ba-dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Joseph, if we're gonna come up
with a good campaign
for this Captain Hook
peanut butter chunk
I'm afraid we're just gonna
have to break down and try it.
I was afraid of that.
Okay, let's take a taste
of this stuff
and say the first thing
that comes to mind, ready?
[indistinct chatter]
Not bad. Joseph, do I
have any in my teeth?
Happy birthday to me.
No, Michelle, it's not your
birthday until you get down
to one last birthday cake.
Now, take one away for today.
Good girl.
Now, how many
till your birthday?
One, two, three, four.
Too many.
Oh, hang in there, kid.
It's not gonna be long
before you're how old?
Three-years-old.
Then you and your play-group
friends get a big circus party.
Joseph, forget about this.
The circus is for kids.
I got a better idea.
Excuse me. Michelle, wouldn't
you rather have an Elvis party?
Better idea, instead of all
those goofy little hats
your friends can wear
little tiny sideburns.
- What do you say, little mama?
- No, thank you, big daddy.
Jess..
Sorry.
What can you possibly have
against the circus?
Clowns. I hate 'em.
- How can you hate clowns?
- They bug me, man.
They think they're so funny.
Come on, get in the spirit.
Danny and I are gonna
dress up like clowns.
You already are clowns.
Look, Joseph, I'm happy
to do what I can.
I-I'll cook,
I'll put up decorations.
But if you want me to dress up
like a chucklehead
I say take your
rubber nose and honk it.
Look. Happy birthday to me.
Michelle, did you pull off
all those birthday cakes?
Who, me?
"Who, me? Who, me?
Who, me?"
Comet, listen to this poem
I wrote about you for school.
"My family has a new puppy
"He's bigger than a guppy
"My dad puts down
paper for Comet
but he always
forgets to go on it."
I decided what I'm gonna be
for Michelle's circus party.
I'm gonna be a lion tamer.
Oh, yeah. Like dad's really
gonna let a lion in the house.
I'm not gonna need a lion.
I'm gonna tame Comet.
Okay, Comet.
Try to look mean.
Try to look tough.
Try to look ferocious.
I'm gonna be a juggler.
Steph, do you know
anything about juggling?
Technically..
...no.
But, how hard can it be?
All you do is throw
three balls up in the air
and keep them there.
So, Deej..
...need a lovely assistant?
[instrumental music]
Finally, the last one.
Hey, Jess, I got another
hundred balloons.
Okay, would you rather be
Elvo, the lip-quivering clown?
I just got a second wind.
I got a great cake.
Did you get triple chocolate
with pink frosting
in the shape of a clown's face
with a big cherry-red nose?
Did ya? Did ya? Did ya?
- Yes, Joey. Look at this.
- Oh, yes.
Hey, Joey, you wanna help me,
come blow up
some of these nifty balloons.
Would ya? Would ya?
Jess, grow up.
Hey, could one
of you guys follow me
to my mechanic tomorrow?
My car sounds like
Ed McMahon again.
Hu hu hu.
Danny, I'm insulted,
you've a car expert
right here in the family,
I'll take care of it for you.
- Oh, really? Thanks, Jess.
- My pleasure.
Why pay a mechanic
when you could pay me?
I'm kidding.
Unless, of course,
you went for it.
Happy birthday to me.
(together)
Happy birthday, Michelle.
♪ Ta da ra ta da ♪♪
Do you know what happens today?
My circus party.
Ah, Michelle, your party's
not until this afternoon.
My birthday cake.
Okay.
That's it.
She's gone birthday bananas.
Why don't we take
the little conehead upstairs
while we get the big top
all set up, huh?
No, no, no.
I got a better idea.
Michelle, let's go fix daddy's
car, then after that we can go
for a special
birthday drive, okay?
No way, Jose.
I almost got it!
This time for sure.
I hate gravity.
Don't worry about it. It's
a party for three-year-olds.
You'll be lucky
if they're even looking at you.
Now, come on, let's go take
a nice drive, okay?
It's gonna be so much fun.
But Michelle can't go because
she's not three-years-old yet.
I am three-years-old.
Then you get to go.
- Yay.
- Yay!
Jess, are you just
being this nice
to get out of
blowing up more balloons?
Absolutely. Ciao, babe.
Joey.
Michelle did it first.
[instrumental music]
All done.
Danny, I love this circus decor.
We should've done this
to the house years ago.
You know, it's too bad
my station canceled
"Uncle Funsie's Big Top"
but it saved us a fortune
on party decorations.
[telephone ringing]
I got it.
Hello? Jesse, where are you?
Michelle's friends
are gonna be here any minute.
Yeah, well, we're stuck
out here at a gas station
uh, they don't know
what's wrong with your car
but they know it's gonna be
very, very expensive.
Look, this had nothing to do
with me adjusting your idle.
Oh, why would I blame you?
Just because you were
the last one
to touch my car
and now it's dead?
Alright, look, we'll be
home just as soon as
Elmer revives your car.
And listen,
don't worry about this bill
because I've taken care of it.
I found your credit card
in your glove compartment. Bye.
Well, you're all set, but,
listen, I don't know who
the donkey-brain was
that fiddled with your idle
but you ought to
get your money back.
I'll see what I can do.
Well, I'm going home
and siesta.
Alright. Well, have a nice nap.
No, I'm going home
to see Esther, my wife.
[laughs]
- Gets them every time.
- I'm sure it does.
Alright, anyone have
to go potty before we go?
- I do.
Good. Because I'm dyin'.
Alright, boys on the left,
girls on the right.
[singing in foreign language]
[doorbell dings]
Oh, great. The birthday girl's
at a gas station
and my house is about to
turn into Sesame Circus.
Should I answer the door?
If we're really quiet,
maybe they'll go away.
Alright, hurry up.
It's time to go
to Michelle's circus party.
Time for presents.
You got it, babe.
We're out of here.
[rattling]
We're out of here.
Anyone have to potty again?
- Uh-oh.
- Why you said "Uh-oh"?
Because if we can't
get out of here
you're gonna miss your birthday.
No happy birthday to me?
[instrumental music]
♪ Row row row your boat ♪
♪ Gently down the stream ♪
Take it, boys.
Take it, girls.
♪ Merrily merrily
merrily merrily ♪
♪ Life is but a.. ♪
♪ Nightmare ♪♪
Dad! Joey! I'm dying out here.
Why didn't we just go
to Chuck E. Cheese's?
There you go.
Come on, Danny.
We gotta start the circus.
Without Michelle?
We're gonna put on a circus
for the neighbors' kids?
Danny, it'll be lots of fun.
And when Michelle gets back,
we'll do it again for her.
[laughing]
Oh, goody.
We've added a second show.
[knock on door]
I got it.
Hi. I hope this is
the birthday party.
It sure is. Come right in.
Hi, I'm Joey Gladstone.
I'm Karen Penner,
Robert's aunt.
Have we met before?
No, I think I'd
remember that face.
Hi there. I'm Danny Tanner.
I'm a single parent,
and I love foreign films
and long walks along the beach.
Well, nice to meet you both.
- Thank you.
Um, normally, Karen,
I'm a very snazzy dresser.
You see, earth tones go well
with my big, brown doe eyes.
You may have seen
the real me on my talk show
"Wake Up, San Francisco."
Oh, I love your show.
I have breakfast
with you every morning.
Really?
Well, then, why don't you,
uh, stay for the circus.
Stay for the birthday cake,
stay for, are you married?
- No.
- Stay for as long as you like.
The circus is right through
here. Pardon my feet.
There you are.
Ooh!
Danny, what's with you, I've
never seen you so aggressive.
I don't know what came over me.
I-I just got this manly feeling.
Quite frankly..
...I liked it.
We're stuck in here.
Bars on every window.
They afraid someone's gonna
break in and clean the joint up?
Where's my circus party?
Don't worry,
Uncle Jesse is coming up
with a plan right now
to get us out of here.
Well?
Well, my-my plan is to wait here
until Goober lets us out.
I was wrong.
There is no plan.
I want my circus party.
Oh, Michelle, I'm sorry.
I know it's your birthday, pal.
But I don't know what to do.
We're stuck in here.
I'll tell you what.
You want a circus party?
I'm gonna give you
the best darn circus party
in the history of circus
parties, how's that sounds?
Oh, boy!
And you know what?
We're gonna have it
right here in this gas station.
In this gas station?
Steph, trust me
on this one
and this time,
I got a real plan.
Come here. I'll tell
you about it.
And you, don't listen.
Ta-da, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls
presenting the greatest show
in this room
The Tanner Family Circus!
(all)
Yay!
Starring me, Tanner, the Tamer.
[cheering]
Stand back,
I'm about to release
Comet, the Ferocious.
Hey, that's not a lion!
That's what the last kid said
just before Comet ate him.
Now watch as this vicious
creature
obeys my every command.
Come on, Comet. Come on.
Come on, honey.
Jump through the hoop.
Come on.
Ta-da!
[cheering]
Now get ready
to laugh your heads off.
Send in the clowns!
[cheering]
♪ Make 'em laugh make 'em laugh
make 'em laugh ♪
- Whoa!
- Whoo-ho-ho.
♪ Ta da da da.. ♪♪
Oh, look. Ooh.
Hi, boys and girls.
I'm Jo-Jo the Clown.
And this is
my sidekick, Clean-O.
Hi, kids. Remember,
a clean circus is a fun circus.
Oh, but the best circus
is a messy circus.
Okay, Jo-Jo,
you made your point.
Oh, I'm gonna get
you now, Jo-Jo.
Here I go.
Whoa!
What are you kids
laughin' at, huh?
Okay, kids.
Now it's time for some good,
clean fun with balloons.
Hey, pretty lady, here you go.
I give you my heart.
Why, thank you, Clean-O.
But isn't this party supposed
to be for the kids?
What kids?
Oh, the kids.
Oh-ho-ho.
Oh, why don't we let Jo-Jo
entertain the kids.
Oh, guess what, kids?
Clean-O is on the make.
No, Clean-O was just having
a little good old, clean fun.
Like this.
- Ooh.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Ooh.
And this.
- Ooh.
- Oh, my.. Ooh.
Oh, oh, oh. Oh-hoo.
Ha ha ha. Whoa.
Oh, I'm havin' a party
in my pants.
The party's just begun.
[doorbell rings]
(both)
Ooh.
I thought I knew
all of Michelle's friends.
Joey, what is an elephant
doing at my front door?
Surprise, Clean-O.
Ho-hoo ho-hoo hoo.
The surprise is on Jo-Jo.
She got my underwear.
Oh, I've only got one pair.
(Jesse)
'Welcome to Michelle's..'
'...Big Top Circus of Love!'
♪ Ra ta da ra ra
ra ta da ra ra ♪
♪ Ra ta da ra ra ♪
♪ Ta ra ra ra ra ♪
♪ Rum pum ta ra ra ra ♪
(both)
Ta-da!
Yay.
Hi. I'm Greasy the Clown.
And I'm Stephabell,
the other clown.
And we're here to say..
(together)
Happy Birthday, Michelle!
Thank you very much.
And now, let the circus begin!
And now, Greasy walks
the tightrope without a net.
Hold on to your hat.
♪ Da da na na na ♪
- 'Yay.'
- Bada bing.
Now what?
Now, it's time for
Michelle's Big Top to present
Greasy and
Stephabell's fun-filled
extravaganza of puppet love.
(Jesse)
Hi, Sock-O, how are you
on this beautiful day?
(Stephanie)
Not so good, Toesy.
I'm locked in a gas station.
Thanks to my uncle.
(Jesse)
I hardly think placing
the blame on the nice uncle
is gonna help the situation.
(Stephanie)
Well, you did ask
how my day was.
(Jesse)
Yeah, yes, I realize that.
But it's not the uncle's fault.
- It is.
- It isn't.
- It is.
- It isn't.
Help! I'm naked, I'm naked!
That's funny.
And now, Greasy and Stephanie
proudly present the big finale.
Their tribute to
Up With Juggling.
♪ Ta da-ra ra.. ♪
Whoa-hup-hup-hup.
- Come on, Steph.
- I can't do it.
Steph, come on. It's for
Michelle. Try it for Michelle.
- Okay.
Whoa, you did it,
Steph. Alright!
- Bada bing.
How do you do that?
I have no idea.
And now..
♪ Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Michelle
happy birthday to you ♪
Blow them out.
Alright! Yay.
What the H-E
Double Hockey Sticks
is going on in here?
Elmer, don't you check the
bathroom before you lock up?
- What's the matter with you?
- What's the matter with me?
You're the one that's wearing
a funnel on his head.
Ow!
Hi.
Oh, come here, Michelle.
Hi, honey.
Hi, Steph.
Jess, I have one word
for you, how?
Danny, I told you on the phone
it wasn't my fault.
Oh, sure you read
about it every day
"Family trapped in gas station.
Child's birthday ruined."
'Well, look,
I-I'm sorry, but what--'
How could you let this happen?
We just put on a three-hour
circus for the neighbors' kids.
Michelle, honey, I know
you were looking forward
to a big party
with all your friends.
- But we can still have fun.
- Daddy, I saw clowns.
Yes, honey,
I know you saw clowns.
Daddy's dressed up like a clown.
Uncle Jesse was a clown.
Uncle Jesse was a clown?
Uncle Jesse hates clowns.
More than ever.
But he was a great clown.
He made a whole circus
at the gas station.
With a tightrope walker,
and a puppet show
and two jugglers,
thank you very much.
Jess, you really put on
a circus for Michelle?
Hey, it was my niece's
third birthday.
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
Shame on me.
There's nothing lower
than a cranky clown.
You were a great uncle today.
Heck, you're
a great uncle everyday.
Thanks, buddy.
Ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho.
This is a bozo no-no.
Oh, Michelle, you're back.
We saved you a special surprise
from your party.
Come on, it's in the back yard.
- Come on, let's go see it.
- Special surprise?
What do you think it is?
Uncle Jesse, how'd you get
locked in a gas station?
D.J., someday
when you're older
and you get locked in a gas
station, you'll understand.
- Oh!
- Wow!
Happy birthday, Michelle.
- Bimbo.
- No, Michelle, that's Dumbo.
Big present.
Well, it's not to keep, honey.
It's just to ride.
And here we go.
Hey, hold on.
Whoa, baby.
♪ Happy birthday to you
♪ Yeah happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you.. ♪♪
[instrumental music]
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
[theme music]