[theme music]
Michelle, what are you doing?
I'm blowing bubbles.
Well, my little
milk-and-cookie monster
big girls do not blow bubbles
into their milk.
Why?
Because milk is not a toy.
Why?
Because they don't sell
milk in toy stores.
Why?
You know, I don't know why.
Maybe this is one of those
things grownups say
to keep kids
from having a good time.
I can't think
of one good reason, honey
why we shouldn't blow bubbles
into our milk. Let's go.
Well, there's one good reason.
It's not like that, like this.
'Oh.'
How's that?
Better.
[Jesse Frederick singing
"Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milk man
the paper boy evenin' TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a face of somebody
who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and your all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Doobie doo
bah bah dah ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Perma Teeth denture adhesive
commercial, take three.
♪ When you're smilin' ♪
♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
♪ When you're smilin' ♪
♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
Hold the scooby-doo-doos.
Jess, I have a great new idea
for the Perma Teeth commercial.
Instead of using music
which you gotta admit
is kind of old-fashioned
we zap them with comedy.
Ready?
Hi, Big Ed here,
for Perma Teeth.
I love my dentures.
I used to have real teeth
but I didn't brush
'em for six whole years.
How come?
Because I plumb forgot.
That's funny.
Isn't he funny?
We're not doin' funny.
- Come on, Jess.
- No, Joseph.
Now, meet our backup singers.
This is Stacey Fleetwood.
You're Joey Gladstone.
I saw your act last week
at the Laugh Machine.
You were hysterical.
Well, thank you very much.
You were a beautiful audience.
- And this is Cindy Daniels.
- Hi.
- I've never heard of you.
You will. You will not
believe how funny he is.
Joey, uh, do your
Roseanne Barr imitation.
[imitating Roseanne]
I can't do it right now.
The kids are playing
in the garbage disposal.
Do you have any idea how much
it's gonna cost
to fix that thing?
You got a donut?
He kills me.
You gotta do your Popeye.
You like Popeye?
Are you kidding?
I love Popeye.
- No.
- Yes.
Any guy who can eat spinach
through a pipe
is my kinda man.
[imitating Popeye]
Whoa! A-gah-gah-gah!
I have a whole
Popeye collection over here.
- You gotta see this stuff.
- Oh, my God.
This is a musical
can of spinach.
- Are we in this room?
- We are, but we shouldn't be.
Joey, what do you say,
we call it a day?
Yeah, okay, fine.
- Dinner's in an hour.
- Okay, fine.
- The Pope's coming.
- Yeah, say hi for me.
He's gone.
And this is an actual
Popeye signature.
Well, it's an actual one.
I mean, there's all
those Popeye forgeries
going around now.
[instrumental music]
D.J., I promise,
this is the last time
I'll ever copy your homework.
Kimmy, if you keep copying
you'll never
gonna learn anything.
So what? Once I'm outta school,
I'm never gonna use English.
Oh, no. Look at this.
The dog ate my homework.
All that hard work for nothing.
This is exactly
why I never do homework.
Comet ate my favorite tie.
Where is that goat
in dog's clothing?
I don't know
but if you find him
see if he has a book
report on "Little Women"
stuck in his teeth.
The doggy ate
my bunny slipper.
Oh, honey, I don't think
he actually ate it.
I think he just
sorta drooled on it.
Eww. Doggy drool.
Hi, everybody.
(together)
There he is.
Yeah, there he is.
Hey, hey, hey, why is everyone
mad at sweet little Comet?
You ate my bunny slipper.
Bad, bad, bad.
If Comet could talk,
I'm sure he would say
[panting]
...how rude.
Dad, no one will believe the old
my dog ate my homework excuse.
so I'll just tell my teacher
that Michelle ate it.
Mr. Tanner, have you ever
considered obedience school?
Yes, and tell your parents
I'm willing to pay half.
Steph, Comet
is out of control.
He thinks this house
is one big Milk-Bone.
It's not Comet's fault.
His dog food tastes terrible.
- You tasted it?
- Of course not.
I fed it to Michelle.
I hate dog food.
Yuck!
Steph, listen
to me very carefully.
Do not feed dog food
to your sister.
Okay.
And, Comet, you gotta
learn the rules around here.
Rule number one,
never lick my nose
when I'm lecturing you.
Comet, I know it's an
easy mark, but don't do it.
Okay, okay.
Now, name this TV show.
Alright, here's your hint.
[hissing]
"Mission Impossible."
♪ Mission impossible mission ♪
♪ How'd I get this mission
It's impossible ♪♪
- You are so cute.
- Oh, come on, cut it out.
Yeah.
Ay, chihuahua.
"Ay, chihuahua?"
Well, I could've said,
"Have mercy."
But it felt a little more like,
"Ay, chihuahua."
Yeah. Alright, well, tomorrow,
when we pitch that commercial
I'm wearing my black suit.
So you wear
your gray suit, okay?
- Alright.
- Ay, chihuahua?
Joey, why do you always
let Jesse boss you around?
Oh, he didn't boss me around.
I only have one suit.
It's not just the suit.
He's been telling
you what to do all week.
What about that
denture commercial?
Your comedy idea was great.
But just because Jesse
didn't like it, you dropped it.
Well, I'm just kind of a
go with the flow kinda guy.
But if you'd be
a little bit more assertive
Jesse would take
your ideas seriously.
I just wish you'd
believe in yourself
as much as I believe in you.
Well, thanks, Stacey.
You know, maybe you're right.
(Jesse)
'Joey, get in here.'
Ah, coming, boss.
Oh, it's just a nickname
that Jesse asked me to use.
I love you. Bye.
Oh, Joey, I just
talked to Becky.
Cancel your plans
tomorrow night.
All four of us
are going bowling.
Oh, now you're
deciding when I bowl?
Just like you decided not to use
my comedy idea for
the Perma Teeth commercial.
Where is this coming from?
We both agreed
my idea was better.
No, you agreed
that your idea was better.
We were just talking about
how my idea was great.
Wait a minute.
Which we are we talking about?
Are we talking about
us we or you we?
We, we.
I just think that Joey
has terrific ideas.
Huh, well, here's
a terrific idea
Why don't you give me a moment
alone with my partner.
It's okay, Stace.
I can handle this.
Alright, honey.
Joey, come on, man.
I think you have great ideas.
That's why we're partners.
That's why we're successful,
the two of us. One, two.
- How come you get to go first?
- Fine. Two, one.
There you go.
There's the smile.
Alright.
Dueling Sammy's, okay?
[imitating Sammy]
You are the greatest, man.
[imitating Sammy]
No, man, you are the greatest.
No, babe. No, no, no.
Hold the presses.
Pound for pound,
you're the best, babe.
You, babe,
are the Candyman's Candyman.
Alright. Attaboy.
- Okay?
- Alright.
Now, tomorrow,
wear the gray suit.
We're gonna pitch my idea,
and no comedy stuff, okay?
[instrumental music]
Mr. Bear's hat?
Mr. Bear's scarf?
Trench coat.
And pants.
This means..
...Mr. Bear is naked.
Help! Call 911!
Call 911! Help!
- What's the matter?
- Mr. Bear.
It's better not to look.
I'll make him better.
It didn't work.
Steph, what's going on?
Oh, bummer.
The doggy did it.
Comet, how could you?
After all I've done for you.
You ate my best friend.
Comet, come here.
This is a doggy no-no.
D.J., take him downstairs
read him his rights
and book him.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I know how much
you love Mr. Bear
but these kinda things
happen when you have a dog.
I have no dog.
[dramatic music]
Mr. Kiner, you're gonna love
what our boys came up with.
Gentlemen.
Mr. Kiner, as you know
today's denture
wearers are more alive
more active, if you will,
than ever before.
Our campaign shows
that thanks to Perma Teeth
wearing dentures doesn't mean
the party's over.
Big Joe?
Picture, if you will, sir
a dance floor full of happy,
smiling denture wearers
represented by
the vivacious Mrs. Ferguson.
They're all swinging
to the sound of a big band.
As we pan their happy,
smiling faces
with teeth firmly
in place, we hear..
[instrumental music]
♪ When you're smilin' ♪
♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
♪ Ooh when you're smilin' ♪
♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
♪ The whole world
is smilin' with you ♪
♪ When you're laughin' ♪
♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
♪ Oh when you're chucklin' ♪
♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪
♪ The sun it is a-come
shinin' through ♪
♪ So keep on smilin' ♪
♪ 'Cause when you're smilin' ♪
♪ The whole world smiles with ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ Scooby-doo-doo ♪♪
Perma Teeth.
Take a bite out of life.
It's a very nice presentation.
It is, of course,
the safe approach.
You're always safe with safe.
Unless you're too safe.
Well, sir, if I may be so bold
we feel that this concept
is the best way to go.
Well, thank you, gentlemen.
I'll think it over.
Joey, go on, do your idea.
Mr. Kiner, sir,
before you leave
we'd like you to consider
going a whole other way.
The concept, sir, is comedy.
It's more exciting,
and it's definitely unexpected.
Definitely unexpected.
We think you're
gonna love it, sir.
- Uh, don't we?
- We better.
Now, sir, we'd like
to show you a commercial
that says wearing
dentures can be fun.
- Ready, Jess?
- Oh, sure.
I'll just go sit on
the couch and look confused.
Perfect.
Now, sir, we take
you to a hockey game.
Ay, chihuahua.
Defending the net
is world-famous hockey goalie
and denture wearer,
Guy Le Dome.
Hello, I am Guy Le Dome.
You know, for years, I thought
that the protective mask
was for sissy boys.
Then one day, I stopped
a puck with my mouth.
Oh! That hurt.
Then I had to use my teeth
for gravel in my fish tank.
So then I bought some,
how you say, uh
phony-baloney teeth.
Dentures.
Merci beaucoup.
Now I keep my dentures
in place with Perma Teeth.
When you have
to bite Wayne Gretzky
You swine.
It's no time
to find your choppers
laying by the blue line.
So use Perma Teeth
and take a bite out of life
or Wayne Gretzky.
Well, it's twisted,
it's off-center.
It's exactly what
I'm looking for. Let's do it.
- Great!
- Terrific. Nice work.
Yes!
Yes.
Oh, Joey,
I am so proud of you.
I never would've had the guts
to do this if it wasn't for you.
Well, partner, looks like you
and I got some work to do.
I think you and Stace
can handle this one.
Jess, are you mad
just 'cause they liked
my idea more than
they liked yours?
You had this whole
thing planned out, didn't you?
That's not your
regular underwear.
I was prepared
in case we needed it.
And it's a good thing I was.
You know, ever since you've
hooked up with Yoko over here..
...you've changed,
and not for the better.
Her name is Stacey,
and leave her out of this.
I didn't mean to cause trouble.
- Well, you did.
- No she didn't.
- Stop blaming this on Stacey.
- Fine, then I blame it on you.
- Jess--
- Joey..
I don't think we should
see each other anymore.
What?
I don't wanna be responsible
for breaking your partnership.
Oh, it's a little late
for that, babe.
- Come on, Jess.
- Joey..
You guys have been together
for years. We just met.
Work things out with Jesse.
I'm sorry.
Stacey.
Don't worry, Steph,
the patient is in good hands.
I haven't lost a bear yet.
Deej, if you make him better
I swear I'll never
read your diary again.
- You read my diary?
- Uh..
Not anymore.
- What's up, doc.
- Great, my nurse is here.
Say, ah.
Now get a lollipop.
This is all very cute.
Now, can we get on
with the operation?
What are you doing in here,
looking for dessert?
Out, out, out!
She needs a nap.
Dad, tell Comet
to stay out of my room.
Comet, stay out of her room.
Your best friend's
a hockey puck.
Woo-hoo, problems everywhere.
I live for this stuff.
Okay, Jess, spill your guts.
Joey agreed not to pitch his
dumb idea, and he did it anyway.
He stabbed me right in the back
right in front of my face.
Just like Comet.
Alright, I think I want
everybody to sit down right now.
It's time for a little
father-daughter
brother-in-law talk.
- Joey needs the talk.
- So does Comet.
I think the two of you should
try putting yourselves
in the other person's shoes.
Or paws.
This is very simple.
Friends deserve
a fair hearing
and valuables should
always be kept out of reach.
So, Stephanie, next
time Comet has an idea
you have to hear him out.
And, Jessy, if you just
leave your advertising
laying around the house
there's a good chance
Joey's gonna chew it up.
You guys understand?
I'm sorry,
I'm a little confused.
This is my first double lecture.
Mr. Bear is all better.
Mr. Bear. You're okay!
He was very brave.
The smile never left his face.
Deej, you saved his life.
You're the best big sister ever.
Hey, what about me?
You were a very good nurse.
I give myself a lollipop.
I'm gonna go find Comet
and tell him I forgive him.
Then I'm gonna teach
him the difference between
food and friends.
Come on, Michelle,
let's go write up her bill.
- See how nice that worked out?
- Yeah.
Now if we could only
stuff Joey, I'd be happy.
I can't believe
that he said I'm bossy.
Danny, am I bossy?
Well, Jess, you do
like to get your own way.
- What you saying?
- You're bossy.
Get out.
I'm sorry. Don't..
I guess I am a little bossy,
I don't know.
Alright, that's it.
From now on,
I'm not gonna be bossy.
Look at this,
I'm bossing myself around.
What do I do?
Jess, let me tell
you a little story
about a headstrong
young boy named Danny.
He was bright as a new penny--
I'll figure this
one out by myself.
Joey, can I see you
upstairs, please?
I didn't hear you knock.
You don't have a door.
Come upstairs, please.
Forget it, Jess.
I'm not comin' upstairs
just 'cause you
asked me to come upstairs.
Alright, look you,
I came upstairs to tell you
that you can't tell me
to come upstairs.
Joey, I'm sorry for being bossy,
and I want you to forgive me.
[chuckles]
Because you want
me to forgive you
I should just forgive you, huh?
Yeah, well, dream on.
Your comedy angle
was a good idea.
Yeah, well, listen, sport,
it was a good idea
the first time I told you.
It was a good idea
the second time I told you.
And it's still a good idea
even though you think
it's a good idea!
There, you happy now?
You got me yellin'!
I never yell,
but now that I'm yellin'
I'm starting to like it!
Hi, Joey.
Stacey. What are you doin' here?
Well, Jesse called
me and apologized
and he asked me to come over
and work things out.
He thinks we're good
for each other. So do I.
Thanks, Jess.
I don't want you guys to break
up, because we had a problem.
Joey, I'm-I'm sorry for
not listening to your ideas.
And I'm sorry for springing
that "Guy Le Dome" bit on you.
Hey, they bought it.
You stuck to your guns,
and it paid off.
- I gotta admit, it felt great.
- Well, you keep it up.
Now, I want you to stand up
for what you believe in.
And from now on I'm gonna
start listenin' to you
and be more open to compromise.
See, that's why
we make a great team.
We bring out
the best in each other.
Well, we do have a pretty cool
combo platter going, don't we?
[imitating Sammy]
Because you got
that comedy thing grooving, man.
[imitating Sammy]
Hey, my man,
I dig that music vibe.
Well, let me tell you,
you are one fabulous cat.
And I ain't talking
about Garfield, babe.
Give me a high five
with a low back side.
Comin' at you.
Right behind you.
Joseph, go give her
a kiss right now.
Jess, what did we
just talk about? Don't--
Joey, listen to him this time.
Ay, chihuahua, babe.
Oh, yeah.
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ♪♪
[theme music]