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[instrumental music]
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Okay, this is a very big moment
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for you, Michelle.
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It's your first message on
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the family answering machine.
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Now, all you have to do is say,
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"Hello, leave a message
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"and wait for the beep."
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Are you ready?
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I'm ready.
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Okay, on your mark..
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...get set, go!
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Hi, people.
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♪ Twinkle twinkle
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little star ♪
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♪ How I wonder what you are ♪♪
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Please leave a message
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after the beep.
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Hey, that was my job.
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[chuckles]
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Okay, you can do the beep.
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It's me again. Beep.
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[chuckles]
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Beep.
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Beep. Beep.
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[Jesse Frederick singing
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"Everywhere you look"]
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♪ Ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milk man
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the paper boy evenin' TV ♪
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♪ When did I get to livin' here
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somebody tell me please ♪
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♪ This old world's
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confusing me ♪
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♪ Clouds as mean
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as you ever seen ♪
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♪ Ain't a bird
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that knows your tune ♪
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♪ Then a little voice
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inside you whispers ♪
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♪ Kid don't sell
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your dreams so soon ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there
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and you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Chip-a-dee-ba-ba-dow ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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[guitar music]
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Stop the music.
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Stop the music.
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Uncle Jesse,
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you gotta help me!
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Why? What's the matter?
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You have to help me practice
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for my class picture.
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Steph, it's a week away.
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I know. But don't you
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remember last year?
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Right when the photographer
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said cheese, I sneezed.
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When the picture came out,
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I was like..
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[gasps]
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Oh, yeah. Everybody
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called you sneezeburger.
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All year.
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Alright, well, this year,
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you're gonna flash
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that picture-perfect smile,
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alright?
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Get over there.
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Let's practice.
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Are you having fun without me?
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Well, I'll tell you what,
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you stay right there
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and I'll get right to you,
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okay, young lady?
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Alright, here we go.
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Show me love. Oh, yes.
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Let the wind blow through
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your hair. Very nice.
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Be happy. Be happier.
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If I get any happier,
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my cheeks are gonna pop.
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There we go.
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- My turn.
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- 'Alright!'
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Show me love.
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Let me see your teeth.
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Let me see your teeth.
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Let me see. Put them together.
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Alright. Let's see.
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Here we go, Michelle.
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Okay, here it comes.
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Here you come.
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Hey-hey. Hey, there you are.
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I got a big mouth.
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Look at this. I did not
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deserve this traffic ticket.
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Now my perfect
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driving record's ruined.
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Eh, just put it on mine.
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No one will notice.
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Jesse, don't do that.
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This is government paper.
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Now I have to iron it.
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That right-turn-only sign
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was hidden behind a big bush.
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Dad's ticket is totally bogus.
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And a humongous injustice.
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I'll tell you what,
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I'm gonna fight this thing.
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And D.J., you're gonna be
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my star witness in court.
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Hey, can we do it on Wednesday?
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'Cause there's a math test
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I'd really like to miss.
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- Hi, everybody.
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- 'Hey.'
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Oh, I love you, stretch.
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Ha ha ha.
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Thanks to Danny,
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I have an on-the-air
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tryout to be
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the new Mr. Egghead.
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- That's fantastic.
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- Alright, great.
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You're gonna be Mr. Egghead?
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He's the smartest person
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on television..
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...next to Connie Chung.
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Uh, Joey, Mr. Egghead has to
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know everything about science.
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Well, not that you don't
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know everything about science.
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Do you know anything
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about science?
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What's the difference is
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Captain Kangaroo a real captain?
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Hey, he's not even
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a real kangaroo.
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Besides, all I have
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to do is be hip
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and funny and follow the script.
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And with Jesse as my sidekick,
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how can I miss?
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That's right,
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with Jesse as his side..
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Sidekick?
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Two, one..
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- Sidekick?
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- Right on time.
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Jess, I just wanna have
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a-a hip, musical sidekick.
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You know, like David Letterman
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has Paul Shaffer.
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Mr. Egghead
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has The Professor!
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- I don't do kiddie shows.
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- Ah, Jess, come on.
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It's just for the tryout.
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Okay, fine, you don't
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wanna be The Professor.
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Just think of all those
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little kids who will
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have to learn science
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without any music.
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Yeah, and they'll be too sad
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to play with their pets..
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...and all their dogs and cats
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will run away from home.
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[sobs]
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That is the stupidest story I've
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ever heard in my whole life.
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And besides, guilt
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doesn't work on me.
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Okay, then I'm just
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gonna badger you
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and pester you
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until you say you'll do it.
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Will you do it?
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Will you do it?
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- Now, come on.
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- Will you do it?
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Will you do it?
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Will you do it?
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Alright, I'll do it!
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Alright, if it'll
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make you happy.
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[instrumental music]
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Dad, don't you think that maybe
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we're overdoing this blue thing?
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D.J., it's been
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psychologically proven..
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...that judges
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are more sympathetic
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to people wearing blue.
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That's why you never
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see a Smurf on death row.
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What a week.
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Tomorrow's class picture day.
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Friday is pizza day
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in the cafeteria.
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And today, my whole class
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gets to see Joey
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on the Mr. Egghead show.
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I love my life.
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This is so cool, I can't believe
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someone I actually know is going
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to have their very own TV show.
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Uh, Steph, honey,
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uh, I have my own TV show..
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"Wake Up, San Francisco."
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I know, but this is a show
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that people I know watch.
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See ya.
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Come on, dad.
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Let's practice for court.
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Okay, now, D.J., the first thing
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they're gonna do's swear you in.
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Now, please place
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your right hand on Fred Savage.
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Anytime.
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- What was that?
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- Oh, nothing.
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Do you swear to tell the truth,
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the whole truth
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and nothing but the truth?
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I Fred, I mean, I do.
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Okay, Miss Tanner, now, please
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step into the witness stand..
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...and explain
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to Judge Bear here
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everything that happened
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in every detail.
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I will demonstrate with these
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extremely easy-to-follow
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visual aids.
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Okay, Miss Tanner.
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My dad and I were driving
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north on Fremont..
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And my dad was cleaning
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between the buttons
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on the car radio.
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Uh, D.J., there's no need
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to bring up that minor detail.
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Dad, I can't lie to the judge.
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Oh, I'm not asking you to lie.
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If the judge asks you directly,
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"D.J., was your father dusting
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"between the buttons
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on the radio?"
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Then you can say yes.
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Well, we came to a corner
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and there was
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a right-turn-only sign.
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Except we couldn't see it,
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because of a bush.
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And now our big finish.
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The face of truth
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and innocence.
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[instrumental music]
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(Jesse)
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'We're on the air
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in three, two, one.'
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♪ Oh hey there Mr. Egghead
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you scientific dude ♪
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♪ Whenever you're around
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I'm in a scientific mood ♪
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♪ You tell us
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how the bird flies ♪
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♪ Or how the fungus grows ♪
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♪ The creation of the universe ♪
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♪ Or how we blow our nose ♪
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00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,861
♪ Yes you know everything ♪
291
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,738
♪ Under the sun
292
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,738
thank you Mr. Egghead ♪
293
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:54,242
♪ For making learning fun ♪
294
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,120
♪ And now here he is ♪
295
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,122
♪ The man who knows everything ♪
296
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,917
♪ Mr. Egghead ♪♪
297
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,045
[cheering]
298
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,010
Egg-stremely kind of you.
299
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,470
Thank you, Professor.
300
00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:15,680
Ain't no thing, Mr. Egghead.
301
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,517
Greetings, Junior Eggheads.
302
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,396
(together)
303
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,396
Greetings, Mr. Egghead.
304
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:26,483
Welcome to the new,
305
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:26,483
improved, "Mr. Egghead Show."
306
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,318
My special guests
307
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,318
in the egg carton today
308
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,570
are from Mrs. Hardesty's
309
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,570
second-grade class
310
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,489
at Fraser Street
311
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,489
Elementary School.
312
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,908
(all)
313
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,908
Hi!
314
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,661
Don't eggs-haust yourself
315
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,206
because now it's time for..
316
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,459
...ask Mr. Egghead!
317
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,170
Professor, let's find out
318
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,630
who has our first
319
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,630
scientific question.
320
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,093
(all)
321
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,093
Me! Me! Me!
322
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,888
Yes, the scholarly-looking
323
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,888
gentleman, three eggs in.
324
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,516
What happened
325
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,516
to the old Mr. Egghead?
326
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,854
Well, he's, uh, on vacation.
327
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:08,608
I read in the newspaper
328
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:08,608
that he didn't pay his taxes.
329
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,071
Well, he's on vacation
330
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,071
for three to five years.
331
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,242
And so ends
332
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,242
another fascinating segment
333
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:21,580
of ask Mr. Egghead.
334
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,791
And now it's time
335
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,791
to discuss our topic of the day.
336
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,293
- Energy.
337
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,293
- Alright.
338
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:29,254
[cheering]
339
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,215
How about a little
340
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,215
energy music, Professor?
341
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,759
Okay, Mr. Eggroll,
342
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,759
Egghead. Sorry.
343
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,762
[instrumental music]
344
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,514
Okay, you know what,
345
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,514
we're all wondering
346
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,225
what eggs-actly is energy?
347
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,853
Egg-cellent question, Professor.
348
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,231
Well, to put it
349
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,231
in its simplest terms
350
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:51,067
energy is the ability
351
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:51,067
to do work.
352
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:54,321
Energy is all around us.
353
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,450
Why, energy is in the sun.
354
00:10:58,492 --> 00:10:59,993
[instrumental music]
355
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,245
Energy is in our muscles.
356
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,125
Hey, Mr. Egghead!
357
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,962
Why, energy is even in Walter.
358
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,340
Sorry to interrupt,
359
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,340
but I've been wondering
360
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,674
if the speed of light
361
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,674
is based on the theory
362
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,636
that light
363
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,636
has a finite velocity
364
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:20,013
how would that calculate
365
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:20,013
in a black hole?
366
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,935
Let's let the Professor
367
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,935
field this one.
368
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,940
Well, uh, son,
369
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,940
I'm gonna tell you
370
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:35,069
the same thing my father
371
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:35,069
told me when I was young.
372
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,363
Look it up.
373
00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:39,491
Well put, Professor.
374
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:43,870
And now, it's time to pick
375
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:43,870
one special Junior Egghead..
376
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,956
to help me with an
377
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,956
eggs-periment about energy.
378
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:50,126
(all)
379
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:50,126
Me! Me! Me!
380
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:53,004
Oh, here's a pretty,
381
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:53,004
young Egghead.
382
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,675
- Thanks, Joey.
383
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,675
- It's Mr. Egghead.
384
00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:59,135
Hey! They live
385
00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:59,135
in the same house.
386
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,845
This is a fix.
387
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,348
(all)
388
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,348
Fix! Fix! Fix!
389
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:06,518
♪ Fix fix fix ♪
390
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,525
(all)
391
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,525
Fix!
392
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,069
Don't egg them on, Professor.
393
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,908
Young lady,
394
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,908
tell everyone your name.
395
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,535
Stephanie Judith Tanner
396
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,538
and I'm very egg-cited
397
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,538
to be here.
398
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,122
Egg-cellent.
399
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,958
Let's take a look at how
400
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,958
energy works, shall we?
401
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,713
Now, over here we have your
402
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,713
ordinary, run-of-the-mill
403
00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:36,256
boxing glove on a spring.
404
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:40,009
Now, when I pull the lever
405
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:40,009
and release the spring..
406
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,761
its stored energy
407
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,761
becomes kinetic energy
408
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:47,475
propelling the boxing glove
409
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:47,475
into Proton, the Clown's face.
410
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,144
[instrumental music]
411
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,272
Now, lovely assistant,
412
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,272
pull the lever
413
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,650
release the energy and learn.
414
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,992
It's stuck.
415
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,745
It is.
416
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:09,038
Because, as we say
417
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:09,038
in the laboratory..
418
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,583
[instrumental music]
419
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,544
Something's wrong.
420
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:15,670
[booing]
421
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,634
This never happened
422
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,634
to the real Mr. Egghead.
423
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:24,929
Walter, why don't you take
424
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:24,929
a journey through the eggs-it?
425
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,434
I'll cover for you, Mr. Egghead.
426
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,227
Professor, "Tomorrow."
427
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:34,897
♪ The sun'll come out ♪
428
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,525
♪ Tomorrow.. ♪♪
429
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,739
Steph, I'm sorry.
430
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,739
I didn't see you there.
431
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:44,823
Steph, are you okay?
432
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,867
Steph, say something.
433
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,078
How..
434
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,371
...rude?
435
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,582
[instrumental music]
436
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,046
I sure wish Stephanie
437
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,046
would get home from the doctor.
438
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,925
Is she getting a lollipop?
439
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,679
Stephanie's gonna get
440
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,679
anything she wants.
441
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,683
Hey!
442
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,101
How is she?
443
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,101
Where is she? Is she okay?
444
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,395
Calm down, Joey.
445
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,395
She's gonna be alright.
446
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,063
Steph.
447
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,695
Don't worry, Joey.
448
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,695
It's just a little broken nose.
449
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,780
Yeah, the doctor said
450
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,780
the splint will be off in a week
451
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,031
and she'll be as good as new.
452
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:28,034
Steph, I am so sorry.
453
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,662
Here, I bought you
454
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,662
a little something.
455
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,624
Thanks, Joey.
456
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:37,001
I know you didn't
457
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:37,001
mean to break my nose.
458
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,547
You broke Stephanie's nose?
459
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,547
Go to your room.
460
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,217
Oh, you're right.
461
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,217
I've been bad.
462
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,636
Joey, she's 3 years old.
463
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:49,430
She has no authority
464
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:49,430
to punish you.
465
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:52,559
I'll take a picture.
466
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:52,559
Say cheese.
467
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,771
Oh, no. I forgot.
468
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,771
Tomorrow's class picture day.
469
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,773
Why me?
470
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:05,530
- You forgot your presents!
471
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:05,530
- I don't want my presents.
472
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,410
Ooh, happy birthday to me.
473
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,540
Jess, this is terrible.
474
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,459
It's bad enough I broke her
475
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,459
nose. How do I tell Danny?
476
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,169
Come on, Joey,
477
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,169
it was an accident.
478
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,672
Besides, he's your best friend.
479
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,672
He'll understand.
480
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,090
Well, if your best friend
481
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,090
broke your
482
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:25,800
daughter's nose
483
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:25,800
what would you do?
484
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,343
I'd kill him.
485
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,512
I'm home!
486
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:30,680
- Hi.
487
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:30,680
- Bye.
488
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,139
Joseph.
489
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,309
Well, there he is.
490
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:38,104
The man who knows everything.
491
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:38,104
How'd the show go?
492
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:41,399
Oh, I-d, I'd rather hear
493
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:41,399
about your day in court.
494
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,901
While I was pleading my case
495
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,278
my meter ran out
496
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,278
and they towed my car.
497
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,157
It cost me 100 bucks
498
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,157
to beat a $30 ticket.
499
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,910
Dad, we can fight this.
500
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,203
Set it up
501
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,203
for a week from Thursday.
502
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:57,498
I have a killer biology test.
503
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,292
So, Joey, how'd you do
504
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,292
on the show?
505
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,920
Well, for starters, I was booed
506
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,920
off the stage and fired.
507
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,297
- See ya.
508
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,297
- Fired?
509
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,508
Joey, I was positive
510
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,508
you'd be a hit.
511
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,552
Well, now,
512
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,552
there was a hit involved.
513
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,307
Well, how can I say this? Um..
514
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:17,727
Joey broke Stephanie's nose.
515
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,397
You broke Stephanie's nose?
516
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,192
You better go to your room.
517
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,491
There is no way I'm going to
518
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,491
school tomorrow for picture day.
519
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,200
Last year I was sneezeburger.
520
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:36,287
This year I'll be robo-nose.
521
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,081
Steph, you know dad's not
522
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,081
gonna let you miss school.
523
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,792
True.
524
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:44,128
Ah. But what if I don't ask him?
525
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,839
Steph. Oh, honey.
526
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,341
- Are you okay?
527
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,341
- Yep, I'm fine.
528
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:51,970
The doctor says I'll be
529
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:51,970
as good as new in a week.
530
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,013
Is there anything
531
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,013
at all you need?
532
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:57,642
Well, I've always wanted
533
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:57,642
a big-screen TV.
534
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,728
Go for it, Steph.
535
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,856
[instrumental music]
536
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,407
[sighs]
537
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,869
Michelle, what are you
538
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,869
doing in here?
539
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,496
What are you doing in here?
540
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,081
Is this what you do every day
541
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,081
when I leave for school?
542
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,334
Sneak in here
543
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,334
and play with my toys?
544
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,127
Every day.
545
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:29,173
Michelle, listen to me.
546
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,718
I'm ditching school because
547
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,718
I'm not taking my class picture
548
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,720
with this thing on my nose.
549
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,889
But you can't tell
550
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,889
anyone I'm home.
551
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:39,183
- Pinky swear?
552
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:39,183
- Pinky swear.
553
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,269
Okay, now.
554
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,897
You have to do me a favor.
555
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:47,483
Go downstairs to the kitchen
556
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:47,483
and get me something to eat.
557
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,277
And if anyone asks
558
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,277
who the food is for
559
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,072
you say, nobody.
560
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:56,034
- Got it?
561
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:56,034
- Got it, dude.
562
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,552
[scoffs]
563
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,773
Mm. I'm a good cook.
564
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,485
Michelle,
565
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,485
you just ate breakfast.
566
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,198
This is not for me.
567
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,868
- Well, then who is it for?
568
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,868
- Nobody.
569
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,378
Michelle, this sandwich
570
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,378
is inside out.
571
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,758
You're supposed
572
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,758
to say, thank you.
573
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,428
- 'Michelle!'
574
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,428
- Oh, no. It's Joey.
575
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,430
Remember, I'm not here.
576
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,312
Oh, Michelle. You are gonna make
577
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,312
such a mess up here.
578
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:07,897
Too late.
579
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,027
- 'Hey.'
580
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,027
- Uh-oh.
581
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,325
Hey, you, doggy.
582
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,325
That's for nobody.
583
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,329
[sighs]
584
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,418
Oh, hi, Joey.
585
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,130
I was just testing my new
586
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,130
glow-in-the-dark shoelaces.
587
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,464
Out.
588
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,927
Steph, why aren't you in school?
589
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:41,097
Joey, please don't make me
590
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:41,097
go to school like this.
591
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,641
You already broke my nose on TV.
592
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,769
Now you're gonna make me
593
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,769
be teased for a whole year?
594
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,437
What did I ever do to you?
595
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,439
All I did was love you.
596
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:55,028
Oh, you never have to
597
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:55,028
go to school again.
598
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,282
Stephanie, what are you
599
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,282
doing here?
600
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:03,911
Joey says I never have to
601
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:03,911
go to school again!
602
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,371
Jess, look,
603
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,371
she's way too embarrassed
604
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,040
to get her picture
605
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,040
taken like this.
606
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,709
We'll write her a little note,
607
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,709
Danny will never know.
608
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,085
Works for me.
609
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,589
Now, Stephanie.
610
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,801
Pal, you're only in
611
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,801
the second grade once..
612
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,344
...hopefully.
613
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,846
Now, a class picture
614
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,846
is something
615
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,556
you can treasure forever.
616
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,558
If you miss that picture,
617
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,558
you may regret it
618
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,186
for the rest of your life.
619
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,771
I'm willing to take that chance.
620
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,357
Let me put it another way.
621
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,357
You're going to school.
622
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,068
- But, Uncle--
623
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,068
- I don't want any buts.
624
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,485
Now, go downstairs
625
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,485
and wait for me.
626
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,863
- Okay, I'll go.
627
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,863
- Alright.
628
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,492
But I'm not gonna smile.
629
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,039
- This is all my fault.
630
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,039
- Yes, it is.
631
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,374
- Thanks for the pep talk.
632
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,374
- Come on, Joey, grow up, man.
633
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,543
Feeling guilty's not gonna
634
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,543
help anybody.
635
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,671
Oh, great, now I'm feeling
636
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,671
guilty about feeling guilty.
637
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:59,092
Joseph, snap out of it.
638
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:59,092
You're a comedian.
639
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,052
You're supposed to make people
640
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,052
laugh at their troubles.
641
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,346
There's a little girl downstairs
642
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,346
who I know could use a laugh.
643
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,182
Ain't you gonna go down there
644
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,182
and take care of business
645
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,893
or you're gonna stay up here
646
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,893
and wallow in your self-pity?
647
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,561
Just give me one more wallow.
648
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,232
[instrumental music]
649
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,198
- Joey, what are you doing here?
650
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,198
- Waiting for Steph.
651
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,324
Come on, everybody's ready
652
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,324
to take the class picture.
653
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,203
Do I have to?
654
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,203
I'm gonna look so silly.
655
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:28,537
You're not gonna look
656
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:28,537
any sillier
657
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,123
than the rest of the class.
658
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:35,169
(all)
659
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:35,169
Hi, Stephanie.
660
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,755
Alright. This is great.
661
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,800
And I got you a pair too.
662
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,800
Now, go take that picture.
663
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,010
Thanks, Mr. Egghead.
664
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,096
- Thanks, Professor.
665
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,096
- Hmm.
666
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,432
Joseph, this is one
667
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,432
of the stupidest ideas
668
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,518
you've ever had..
669
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,518
And one of the best.
670
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,728
Good job.
671
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,981
Okay, everybody.
672
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,981
One, two, three, smile.
673
00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:58,151
And now one without the glasses.
674
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:05,866
Yeah, what the heck.
675
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,952
Alright, everyone
676
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,952
say the secret word
677
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,536
and of course,
678
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,536
that word would be
679
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,164
uh, well, uh, cheese.
680
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,457
(all)
681
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,457
Cheese!
682
00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:19,213
[theme music]
683
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:38,816
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
684
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,278
♪ Chip-a-dee-ba-ba-dow ♪♪