1 00:00:00,668 --> 00:00:02,210 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,798 Daddy, Joey, come here. 3 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:09,551 What's the matter, honey? 4 00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:12,011 There's a monster in my closet. 5 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,097 Oh, Michelle, we've been 6 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,097 through this a hundred times. 7 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,057 There's no such thing 8 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,057 as monsters. 9 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:19,728 Uh-huh? 10 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:19,728 There's a Cookie Monster. 11 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,814 Cookie Monster's 12 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,814 not a real monster. 13 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:25,776 He's just a sugar freak who got 14 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:25,776 stuck with a scary last name. 15 00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:29,738 I'm telling you, 16 00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:29,738 there's a monster in my closet. 17 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,657 Alright, Michelle, 18 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,657 I am gonna prove to you 19 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,159 that there's no monster 20 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,159 in your closet. 21 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,246 Be very careful. 22 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,707 Look, honey. 23 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,041 [screaming] 24 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:45,004 - Gotcha. 25 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:45,004 - 'Oh, yeah, you guys got us.' 26 00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:47,882 Way to go, Michelle. Yes. 27 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,884 - What is this thing? 28 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,884 - That's very attractive. 29 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,886 Your old Halloween mask. 30 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,596 [John Stamos singing 31 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,596 "Everywhere You Look"] 32 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,901 ♪ Whatever happened 33 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,901 to predictability ♪ 34 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:11,154 ♪ The milk man 35 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:11,154 the paper boy evenin' TV ♪ 36 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:14,616 ♪ When did I get to living here 37 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:14,616 somebody tell me please ♪ 38 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:20,497 ♪ This whole world's 39 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:20,497 confusing me ♪ 40 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:24,043 ♪ Clouds as mean 41 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:24,043 as you ever seen ♪ 42 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:27,880 ♪ And a bird 43 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:27,880 who knows your tune ♪ 44 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:32,801 ♪ And that little voice 45 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:32,801 inside you whispers ♪ 46 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:38,807 ♪ Kid don't sell 47 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:38,807 your dreams so soon ♪ 48 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:41,518 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 49 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:41,518 ♪ Everywhere you go ♪ 50 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,979 ♪ There's a heart ♪ 51 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,979 ♪ There's a heart ♪ 52 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,398 ♪ A hand to hold on to ♪ 53 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,150 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 54 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,150 ♪ Everywhere you go ♪ 55 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:54,155 ♪ There's a face 56 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:54,155 of somebody who needs you ♪ 57 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:57,158 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 58 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,955 ♪ When you're lost out there 59 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,955 and you're all alone ♪ 60 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:06,167 ♪ A light is waiting 61 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:06,167 to carry you home ♪ 62 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:10,171 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 63 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:14,009 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 64 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,511 ♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪ 65 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,142 [instrumental music] 66 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,236 Okay. 67 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,582 Freeze. Stop. 68 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,582 Take off your shoes. 69 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:49,086 Oh, that's right, it's Friday. 70 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:49,086 And Friday is.. 71 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:53,132 (together) 72 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:53,132 Mop Till You Drop Day. 73 00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:56,384 Comet, wipe your paws. 74 00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:56,384 I just mopped. Comet, come back. 75 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,680 Don't you know 76 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,680 it's Mop Till You Drop Day? 77 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,556 Comet. Comet. 78 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:05,019 Oh, man, it's a good thing you 79 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:05,019 start obedience school tonight. 80 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:08,772 You know, some dogs your age are 81 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:08,772 pulling sleds or herding sheep. 82 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,441 All I want you to do 83 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,441 is sit, heel. 84 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,568 Maybe do an occasional 85 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,568 load of laundry. 86 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,194 [doorbell ringing] 87 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:20,075 Comet. Comet, come back. 88 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:20,075 Okay, get it out of your system. 89 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,829 - Hi. 90 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,829 - Hi. 91 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,166 Here's the baby. Thanks for 92 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,166 letting Tony sleep over tonight. 93 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,292 Oh, hey, what are neighbors for? 94 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,504 I get $3.50 an hour plus tips 95 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,504 and all I can eat. 96 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,215 Which is no big deal 97 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,215 because it's my food. 98 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,347 You're a prince, man. 99 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,017 Here's a list 100 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,017 of emergency phone numbers. 101 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,310 And here's Tony's 102 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,310 nutritionally-balanced 103 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:51,773 cholesterol-free, 104 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:51,773 oat-bran-enriched baby food. 105 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,902 Sort of like Purina Yuppie Chow. 106 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,408 - Well, thanks. 107 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,408 - Oh, one more thing. 108 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,493 Tony won't bond 109 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,493 with just anybody 110 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,787 so don't take it personally 111 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,787 when you pick him up 112 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:09,457 if he screams his guts out. 113 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,793 Why aren't you laughing? 114 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,420 You'll see. 115 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:19,718 Okay, Tony, what do you say 116 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:19,718 we do a little bonding? 117 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,803 'Yeah, you look psyched.' 118 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,389 Let me, uh, warm up 119 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,389 your bottle for you. 120 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,643 And I'm gonna put you right 121 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,643 over here where I can see you. 122 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,437 Now, don't you move. 123 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,649 I can't wait 124 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,649 to get in the kitchen. 125 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,359 I haven't cooked 126 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,359 for you guys in months. 127 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,237 Oh, we can't wait either, 128 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,237 sweetheart. 129 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:46,286 Oh, baby in the house. 130 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:46,286 Look, Jess, he's so cute. 131 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:49,873 Yeah, you see cute. 132 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:49,873 I see smelly diapers. 133 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,750 Joey, where did 134 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,750 the baby come from? 135 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,045 Well, you see, Jess, when two 136 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,045 people really love each other.. 137 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,549 I know that part. 138 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,676 This baby. 139 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,676 Where did this baby come from? 140 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,678 Oh, this is Tony Kagan 141 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,678 from across the street. 142 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,472 We're babysitting him tonight. 143 00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,015 [crying] 144 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:13,021 What did you say? 145 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:13,021 You want your Uncle Jesse? 146 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,649 Oh, no, no, no. 147 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,068 - Kid, kid.. 148 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,068 - Oh! 149 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,778 (Jesse) 150 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,778 'Trust me, 151 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,778 you want nothing to do with me.' 152 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,780 - You want your Uncle Jesse. 153 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,780 - No, no, no, you don't.. 154 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,240 Yes. 155 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,326 Aw! 156 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:30,038 What did I ever do to you? 157 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,040 Face it, Jess, 158 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,040 the kid just loves you. 159 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,875 Which is great because 160 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,875 I gotta take Comet 161 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,710 to obedience school tonight. 162 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,710 Will you watch him for me? 163 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,629 - You're dreaming. 164 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,629 - Oh, come on, sweetie. 165 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,714 It will be fun. 166 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,714 We'll get to play mom and dad. 167 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,842 Great. 168 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,842 We'll call a babysitter. 169 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,136 Oh, Jess, you can't fool me. 170 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,136 I know you love kids. 171 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:48,807 His bottle's in the sink. Come 172 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:48,807 on, Comet, let's go. Heel, heel. 173 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,143 Comet, heel. 174 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,978 Stay. 175 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,025 Comet, wait for me. 176 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,025 Comet, get in the car. 177 00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:01,236 Comet, not that car. 178 00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:01,236 Come back with my dog. 179 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:05,490 Alright, that's enough baby 180 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:05,490 bonding. Here you go, chief. 181 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:14,749 Michelle, this is Tony. 182 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:14,749 Tony, Michelle. 183 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,584 Very nice to meet you. 184 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,546 Can you do this? 185 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,717 Can you do this? 186 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,262 [laughing] 187 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:31,725 Can you do anything? 188 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,435 Yeah, I bet he could laugh. 189 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,435 Let's tickle him, okay? Ready? 190 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,146 Brr. 191 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,525 - My turn. 192 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,525 - Brr. 193 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,200 Tony, I used to be really cool. 194 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,580 Homework halftime. 195 00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:57,042 Oh, thanks, Joey. 196 00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:57,042 I'm in big trouble here. 197 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,752 Are you any good at math? 198 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,670 Well, I hate to brag, 199 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,670 but I did sleep 200 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,298 through a whole year 201 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,298 of honors calculus. 202 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,384 What's the problem, Deej? 203 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,384 Lay it on me. 204 00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:07,135 Okay, here it is. 205 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,678 "Bill is throwing a party. 206 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,223 "He wants to buy a pound 207 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,223 and a half of mixed nuts. 208 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,558 "One third is almonds, 209 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,558 two thirds are walnuts. 210 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,936 "The total cost is 211 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,936 seven dollars and 50 cents. 212 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:20,023 The almonds cost $4 a pound. 213 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:20,023 How much do the walnuts cost?" 214 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,237 The guy's name was Bill? 215 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,696 Alright, who wants to play 216 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,696 with the munchkin? 217 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,615 - I do. I do. I do. 218 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,615 - I do. I do. I do. 219 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,575 Joey, you have homework. 220 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,789 [gasping] 221 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,789 Look at those little fingers. 222 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:39,126 Oh, look how adorable. Hi. 223 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,628 Oh, I always wanted 224 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,628 a baby brother. 225 00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:44,923 Oh, I can't take this. 226 00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:44,923 I'm taking a baby break. 227 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,967 [all babbling] 228 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:53,307 As much as I wuv baby talk, 229 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:53,307 I weally have to weave. 230 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,184 [crying] 231 00:07:56,226 --> 00:08:01,189 (together) 232 00:07:56,226 --> 00:08:01,189 Uncle Jesse, Tony wants you. 233 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:04,192 He's not crying 234 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:04,192 just because he wants me. 235 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,828 Hey, listen, this, uh, I don't 236 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,828 cry around Uncle Jesse bit 237 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,789 was cute at first, 238 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,789 but now it's, uh.. 239 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,170 Okay, it's still cute. 240 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,546 Ready? Come on. Flying baby. 241 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:30,969 Here we go. Ready? Flying baby. 242 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:30,969 Oh, boy, jumbo jet. 243 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:35,390 Here we go. Brrr. 244 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:35,390 Look out, flying baby. 245 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,767 Wide body. 246 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,811 [screaming] 247 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,146 Coming in for a landing. 248 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:46,485 It's a bird, it's a plane, 249 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:46,485 it's super baby. 250 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,903 - Hey, I'm super baby. 251 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,903 - No, you're not. 252 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,405 You're super big girl. 253 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:54,117 Okay, here we go, chief. 254 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:54,117 Coming in for a landing. Waah! 255 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,577 Hey, that's my crib. 256 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,038 Michelle, you don't need 257 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,038 a crib anymore. 258 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:02,083 You're a big girl. 259 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:02,083 You sleep in a big-girl bed. 260 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,918 Here, Ton, 261 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,918 you want some toys, buddy? 262 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,504 Here, Ton. There you go, buddy. 263 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,172 Those are my toys. 264 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:10,342 Well, Michelle, Tony needs 265 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:10,342 some company while he sleeps. 266 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,760 In my room? 267 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,846 Michelle, you have to learn 268 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,846 how to share. 269 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,140 Now, today it's Tony's room too, 270 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,140 okay? 271 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,850 This is nuts. 272 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,562 Alright, big Ton. 273 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,562 Let me sing you a little song. 274 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,398 You can go to sleep, okay? 275 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,398 Here we go. 276 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:28,151 ♪ Goodnight my love ♪ 277 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,861 ♪ Pleasant dreams ♪ 278 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,531 ♪ Sleep tight my love.. ♪ 279 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,491 That's my song. 280 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:40,038 ♪ Let tomorrow be sunny 281 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:40,038 and bright ♪ 282 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:45,668 ♪ And bring you closer 283 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:45,668 to me.. ♪♪ 284 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,464 Uncle Jesse 285 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,464 doesn't like me anymore. 286 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,555 Hey, guys, I finally got it. 287 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,723 I finally figured out 288 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,723 D.J.'s math problem. 289 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,059 According to my calculations, 290 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,059 Bill can buy 291 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,478 a pound of walnuts for.. 292 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,527 ...fifty three thousand dollars. 293 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,906 Well, that's what 294 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,906 the Pentagon would pay. 295 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,916 Too spicy? 296 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,295 No, no. I always cry 297 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,295 when I eat chicken. 298 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,382 It's pasta. 299 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,677 Uncle Jesse, 300 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,677 come with me, please. 301 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,389 - Okay, where are we going? 302 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,389 - To see Tony. 303 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:42,058 - What's the matter with Tony? 304 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:42,058 - He's still here. 305 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,728 Come on, Beck, 306 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,728 check this out with me. 307 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,398 - What about my dinner? 308 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,398 - Uh, just let it fester. 309 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,862 I mean simmer. 310 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,697 Ow! 311 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,284 Hello, Mohammed's House of Nuts? 312 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,751 Yes, hello, 313 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,751 my name is, uh, Bill. 314 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,048 Yeah, look, I'm, uh, 315 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,048 I'm having a party 316 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,594 and my nut budget is exactly.. 317 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:21,139 ...seven dollars and 50 cents. 318 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,766 Now, if a third of my friends 319 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,766 like almonds 320 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:27,562 and almonds cost, 321 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:27,562 let's see, $4 a pound.. 322 00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,899 No, this isn't for homework. 323 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:39,366 Yes, I know I'll-I'll never 324 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:39,366 learn if I don't do it myself. 325 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:47,040 Time to go home. Bye-bye, Tony. 326 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,252 Oh, Michelle, that wasn't 327 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,252 very cool. You woke up the kid. 328 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,588 Good, now he could go home. 329 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,382 Oh, Michelle, 330 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,382 you don't mean that. 331 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:58,759 - Oh, yes, I do. 332 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:58,759 - Alright, come on, buddy. 333 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,221 Here we go. Here we go, Tony. 334 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,931 - Okay, bud. 335 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,931 - My turn. Carry me. 336 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,724 Michelle, I'm taking care 337 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,724 of the baby right now. 338 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,310 I'll carry you later, okay? 339 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,521 You okay, Ton? You okay, buddy? 340 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,608 Hey, Jess. 341 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,236 I think that Michelle's jealous 342 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,236 because baby Tony's 343 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,697 getting all 344 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,697 of her uncle's attention. 345 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,408 - Now she wants to be the baby. 346 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,408 - Hey, baby, hey.. 347 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,868 What would give you 348 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,868 a crazy idea like that? 349 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:27,581 Well, intuition, instinct. 350 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,123 And the fact that Michelle's 351 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,123 sitting in the crib 352 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,125 sucking her thumb. 353 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,753 I'm a baby. 354 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,632 Here. 355 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:41,177 Michelle, you're not a baby. 356 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:41,177 You're a big girl. 357 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,013 Goo goo ga ga. 358 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,099 Beck, we gotta do something 359 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,099 about this. 360 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,726 Well, I think 361 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,726 the obvious thing to do 362 00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:51,396 is to reward Michelle 363 00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:51,396 for acting like a big girl. 364 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:55,108 You obviously know nothing 365 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:55,108 about child psychology. 366 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,652 - Oh, really? 367 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,652 - Yes, really. It's very simple. 368 00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,363 You just have to look them in 369 00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,363 the eye and lay down the law. 370 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:03,241 Watch...and learn. 371 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:07,495 Should I take notes, 372 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:07,495 oh, wise one? 373 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,124 Wouldn't hurt. 374 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,000 Alright, Michelle, now come on, 375 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,000 stop clowning around. 376 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,835 You get out of that thing 377 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,835 and start showing us 378 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,879 what a big girl you are. 379 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,715 [imitating baby cry] 380 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,761 Ready to try the reward method? 381 00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:25,179 Oh, please, that never works. 382 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,141 Well, if you try it, I'll give 383 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,141 you one of my special back rubs. 384 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,226 It's worth a shot. 385 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,979 Why, because 386 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,979 I'm gonna reward you? 387 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,359 Well, maybe. 388 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:39,569 Just because you tricked me 389 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:39,569 doesn't mean 390 00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,738 Michelle's dumb enough 391 00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,738 to fall for it. 392 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,498 Deej, I've been working on 393 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,498 this problem for over an hour 394 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,957 and the answer is.. 395 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,169 ...you're never gonna use 396 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,169 algebra in real life. 397 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,212 - Joey-- 398 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,212 - No, I let you down. 399 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,256 Now you'll never 400 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,256 get into college. 401 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,049 You'll end up working 402 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,049 in some diner 403 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,469 serving chicken-fried steaks 404 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,469 and creamed corn 405 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:09,390 to truck drivers named 406 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:09,390 Tiny, and Duke, and Buck. 407 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,017 Joey, relax. 408 00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:13,770 I called the Homework Hotline 409 00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:13,770 and they helped me do it. 410 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:18,274 See, X is the total, Y is the 411 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:18,274 price of a pound of walnuts. 412 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,194 So the walnuts are Z 413 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,194 and Z equals X minus Y 414 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,071 divided by two which makes 415 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,071 the price of the walnuts 416 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,115 five dollars and 50 cents. 417 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:30,787 Oh, sure, it's easy when you use 418 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:30,787 letters. I was using real nuts. 419 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,706 Alright, Deej, 420 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,706 give me another problem. 421 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,457 - Okay. 422 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,457 - Okay. 423 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,627 Here we go. Page 62. 424 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:42,507 And numbers one through 20. Show 425 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:42,507 all your work, neatness counts. 426 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,176 I'll get right on it. 427 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,346 Doing my homework. 428 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,346 Can't talk now. 429 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,140 Who wanted to talk to him? 430 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,100 Alright, listen, girls, 431 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,100 I'm having a little problem. 432 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,853 I wanna ask you about something. 433 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,771 You know, I've been kinda 434 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,771 hanging around with Tony 435 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,565 and Michelle's 436 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,565 startin' to get jealous. 437 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,067 You know, and Tony's a baby so 438 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,067 Michelle's acting like a baby 439 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,570 and I figured maybe I'd give her 440 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,570 something really special 441 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,488 to reward her 442 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,488 for acting like a big girl. 443 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,782 So do you guys have any ideas? 444 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,410 Well, you know, Michelle has 445 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,410 had her eye on Mr. Bear 446 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,620 ever since she could crawl. 447 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:18,251 So, what's your point? 448 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,211 Well, you always said that 449 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,211 one day you were gonna give 450 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,630 Mr. Bear to Michelle. 451 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:26,384 Well, when I said one day, 452 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:26,384 I meant like her wedding day. 453 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:31,598 Here, why don't you give her 454 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:31,598 your Pillow Person? 455 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:35,184 Because Mr. Bear 456 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:35,184 is a child's toy. 457 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:38,938 My Pillow Person 458 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:38,938 is a sophisticated companion. 459 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,484 Please. Sophisticated? 460 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:47,196 It's got arms and legs 461 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:47,196 growing out of its face. 462 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:53,994 - I say we let Michelle decide. 463 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:53,994 - Fine with me. 464 00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:01,127 It is a stupid-looking pillow. 465 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,045 Michelle, pick a toy. 466 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:06,215 Haven't you always wanted 467 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:06,215 this darling, little bear? 468 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:10,177 I'm sure you'd rather have 469 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:10,177 this sophisticated companion. 470 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:14,014 You don't want this 471 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:14,014 boring, square person. 472 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:18,937 But he's much better than 473 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:18,937 this disgusting, yucky old bear. 474 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,855 I'll explain later. 475 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,692 Michelle, if you get one 476 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,692 of these toys 477 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,068 you're gonna have to act 478 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,068 like a big girl 479 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,905 because these are 480 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,905 big-girl toys, capisce? 481 00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:30,949 Capisce. 482 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:38,539 ♪ Eenie meenie minie mo 483 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:38,539 catch a tiger by the toe ♪ 484 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:43,962 ♪ If he hollers let him go 485 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:43,962 eenie meenie minie mo ♪♪ 486 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,463 I pick Mr. Bear. 487 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,924 Oh, thank you, 488 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,924 thank you, thank you. 489 00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,011 Goodbye, old friend. 490 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,143 Hello, new friend. 491 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,105 I'm proud of you, kiddo. 492 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:06,317 Well, if it makes Michelle 493 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:06,317 happy, I guess it was worth it. 494 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,530 [crying] 495 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,530 'What have I done?' 496 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,953 Well, I guess 497 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,953 I took care of that. 498 00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,163 Turn around. 499 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,374 Michelle, get out of the crib. 500 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,710 She's back in the crib? 501 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:27,964 If she's still acting 502 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:27,964 like a baby, the deal is off. 503 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,925 - I want Mr. Bear back. 504 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,925 - No. 505 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,510 [Tony crying] 506 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,388 Well, I'll go get Tony a bottle. 507 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,891 Take care of this, 508 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,891 will you, Beckala? 509 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:41,811 - Give me Mr. Bear. 510 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:41,811 - His name is Willie. 511 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,857 You changed his name? 512 00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:48,442 You got it, dude. 513 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:57,660 Jesse, you are gonna 514 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:57,660 be so proud of this dog. 515 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,286 And you're gonna 516 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,286 be proud of me too. 517 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,372 They taught you to heel? 518 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,875 No, the instructor taught me 519 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,875 how to control Comet. 520 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,460 You know, the relationship 521 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,460 between a dog and his master 522 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,087 can be a beautiful thing. 523 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:12,466 Now behold, 524 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:12,466 the new and improved Comet. 525 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,385 Comet, lie down. 526 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,055 'Comet.' 527 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,681 He will lie down eventually. 528 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:22,142 And when he does, I'll be 529 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:22,142 waiting with a doggy yummy. 530 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,686 Danny, I'm glad you're here. 531 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,686 I have some.. 532 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,855 I'm having a little problem 533 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,855 with Michelle. 534 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,024 You know how I've been 535 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,024 hanging out with Tony? 536 00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,483 Well, Michelle's 537 00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,483 starting to freak out. 538 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,944 She's acting like a baby. 539 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,613 Ah, poor kid. 540 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,613 How did you handle it? 541 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,573 Well, I told her 542 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,573 to straighten up 543 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,700 and start acting like an adult. 544 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,828 And when that didn't work, 545 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,828 what did you do? 546 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,413 Well, we tried giving her 547 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,413 a reward 548 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,457 for acting, uh, like a big girl. 549 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,084 You tried to bribe her? 550 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,796 Don't cheapen it. 551 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,796 What should I do? 552 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,632 Well, I think if you want 553 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,632 Michelle to act like a big girl 554 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,051 you have to talk to her 555 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,051 like she's a big girl 556 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:58,096 in words 557 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:58,096 that she'll understand. 558 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,056 You got it, dude. 559 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,144 Alright, Michelle. 560 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:08,355 It's time for a special 561 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:08,355 uncle-to-niece talk, okay? 562 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,858 I'm not giving Willie back. 563 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,404 Alright, Michelle. 564 00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:16,656 Now you tell your Uncle Jesse 565 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,616 why you're having 566 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,616 a bummer of a day. 567 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,910 You like Tony better than me. 568 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,664 Michelle, that's not true. 569 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,834 You're my best pal. 570 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,834 We go back three years. 571 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:32,338 You gave Tony my room 572 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:32,338 and my song. 573 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,800 I-I was just trying to be nice 574 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,800 to our new friend. 575 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,260 But I should have 576 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,260 asked you first 577 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,806 'cause I'd never wanna 578 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,806 hurt your feelings, pal. 579 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,433 - You wanna know why? 580 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,433 - Why? 581 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,393 Come here. 582 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,063 I'll tell you why. 583 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,899 [instrumental music] 584 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,861 'Cause you make me laugh, 585 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,861 Michelle. 586 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,863 You make me smile. 587 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,740 You make me feel good 588 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,740 about caring about somebody. 589 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:02,785 - I do that? 590 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:02,785 - Yeah, you do that. 591 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:08,749 Michelle, you and I 592 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:08,749 are gonna be together forever 593 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:10,793 and Tony's leaving tomorrow. 594 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,420 He is? 595 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,048 Yes, he is. 596 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:17,884 And I want you to know 597 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:17,884 something. 598 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,845 There's gonna be a lot of people 599 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,845 that come in and out of my life. 600 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,430 But you're always 601 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,430 gonna be number one. 602 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:27,018 You're gonna be my best pal, 603 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:27,018 my buddy, my sidekick. 604 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,936 - You know why? 605 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,936 - Why? 606 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,189 'Cause I love you 607 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,189 very, very much. 608 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,607 - How much? 609 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,607 - You wanna know how much? 610 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:37,444 I'll show you how much. 611 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:37,444 I love you this much. 612 00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:40,073 - Wow! 613 00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:40,073 - How much do you love me? 614 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,908 - This much. 615 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,908 - That much? 616 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,701 Oh, our arms are open. 617 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,701 We have to hug. 618 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,953 It's a given, it's a given. 619 00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:51,291 Michelle, I've been thinking 620 00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:51,291 about it, and, you know 621 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,836 you might need that bear 622 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,836 more than I do. 623 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,047 So have a nice life 624 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,047 with Mr. Bear. 625 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,549 I mean, Willie. 626 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,512 Here, you can have Mr. Bear. 627 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:09,476 Michelle, I love you so much. 628 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,729 Everybody loves me. 629 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,442 That was a wet kiss. 630 00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:20,362 I'm hip. 631 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,448 Come here. 632 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:23,950 Now, let me tell you 633 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:23,950 something, Michelle. 634 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,120 That was very nice 635 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,120 that you gave the bear back. 636 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,329 You really are a big girl. 637 00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,082 I'm hip. 638 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:36,045 - How did we do? 639 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:36,045 - We did pretty good, didn't we? 640 00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,047 Wanna make friends with Tony? 641 00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:39,715 Yes, I would. 642 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,676 Tony, you're a nice baby. 643 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:45,054 Give Tony a kiss. 644 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:45,054 Give him a kiss. 645 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,558 You know, one day 646 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,558 you're gonna make a great dad. 647 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,437 Give Jesse a kiss. 648 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,437 Give him a kiss. 649 00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,731 Oh, yeah. Have mercy. 650 00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,691 - Can you say have mercy? 651 00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,691 - Can you say that, little guy? 652 00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:01,612 Have mercy. Have mercy. 653 00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:01,612 You will someday. 654 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:05,908 Here we go. Time to go to sleep. 655 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:05,908 There you go, big Ton-o-rama. 656 00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:08,911 Here we go, man. 657 00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:08,911 Brr. Brr. 658 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,704 Goodnight, Tony. 659 00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:16,210 Oh, Michelle, 660 00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:16,210 that's so sweet. Come on. 661 00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:19,421 You're going home tomorrow, 662 00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:19,421 you remember? 663 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,674 [instrumental music] 664 00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:31,309 [theme music]