[instrumental music]
Okay, shorty, what cereal
you been bugging
your Uncle Jesse to buy
for breakfast?
Fiber Bears!
You got it, dude.
I'm glad,
I woke you up.
Me, too.
If you hadn't come
and jumped on my stomach
I'd have missed the beautiful
sunrise, this morning.
I'll get the milk.
Here he is.
Party Teddy!
Michelle,
what about breakfast?
Two eggs.
Over easy.
Thank you.
I'll over easy you.
Come here!
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you'll ever see ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
that knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face
of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Every where you look ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Hey, Deej, look what I got
in school today. A recorder.
- Any requests?
- Yes.
Please, don't play.
"On Top Of Old Smokey?"
You got it.
[offtune chords]
Oh, yeah. That's not
gonna drive me nuts.
This happens to be my homework
for music appreciation.
Well, when it happens to be
music, I'll appreciate it.
Now, will you please,
practice somewhere else?
I'm making a collage
Kimmy's birthday card.
Howdy, girls?
Kimmy, you're not
supposed to be in this room.
I've been telling her
that for years.
Here's your invitation to
my surprise birthday party.
You're throwing yourself
a surprise birthday party?
Yeah, and this is
the face I'm gonna use.
"You are cordially
invited to attend
"Kimmy's fabulous 14th
surprise birthday party
at the Excelsior Hotel."
Whoa! How did you
swing that?
My brother Garth is a bellhop.
He can sneak us
into the pool area.
Oh, but if anyone asks
you are..
..Heather Zink
from Philadelphia
and you're staying
in Room 1541.
You're having
a pool party in November?
What a dumb idea.
No, they have
an indoor pool.
Tomorrow we can go shopping
for new bathing suits.
This party's
gonna be so rad.
Yeah, rad for you because
you have the perfect body.
Me? The perfect body?
Well, I guess, I can't
argue with you there.
There is no way
I'm wearing a bathing suit
in front of everyone until
I look like one of these models.
But, D.J.,
you're my best friend.
You gotta come
to my party.
Alright, I'll come.
But this means I've only got
two weeks to get skinny.
Starting right now.
So no more cookies.
How do you stay
so thin?
Well, I exercise,
like waist bends, for example.
And one and two
and three and four.
And then I watch
what I eat.
This looks good.
[upbeat music]
(Becky)
'Hey, is anybody home?'
- Hi, Deej.
- Hi.
Wow! I guess your dad
and guys will like these
a lot better than
Michelle's finger paintings.
Looking at these models
is gonna help me stay
out of the refrigerator.
Why? You tryin'
to lose weight?
I've got two weeks
to look like you.
Do you mind if I scotch tape
you to the refrigerator?
Deej, if you wanna lose
a couple of pounds
all you have to do
is eat sensibly.
You can have boiled fish,
lean chicken without the skin
fresh fruits,
delicious steamed vegetables
a nice whole grain pasta
with a light tomato sauce
and just a sprinkling
of parmesan cheese.
Becky, I'm trying to keep
my mind off of food.
Sorry, the most important thing
is just keep the junk food
out of the house.
Cake's here.
Uh, Jess..
...maybe we should
do that later.
Oh, that's okay, Becky.
I don't need any cake.
I'll just have one of these
delicious water pops I made.
Alright, everybody!
In the kitchen!
I need some opinions!
Free cake!
[footsteps approaching]
Hey, I hear you say
something's free?
I'm coming!
I'm coming! I'm coming!
I'm here.
Alright, we need you guys
to help me
and Becky pick out
our wedding cake.
I thought we decided
on a chocolate cake.
Well, we did, but chocolate's
not just chocolate anymore.
See what I mean?
Whoa, baby!
You see you got your dark
chocolate, your white chocolate
your chunky chocolate,
you mocha choco chocolate
your double-fudge chocolate
your triple chocolate
chocolate chocolate
and carrot cake.
Well, the carrot cake
was sitting there so lonely.
No one picks carrot cake.
Let's pig out!
Now, now, Michelle,
you're not being very polite.
I'm sorry.
Let's pig out, please.
Come on, Deej.
You're gonna miss the cake.
Uh, who needs cake when you can
lick ice on a stick?
Mmm. Wet and cold
and...that's about it.
I can't take it.
I need that cake.
Whoa, Michelle.
Michelle.
Okay. Alright.
Michelle? Michelle?
Which one do
you like best?
Chocolate.
Let's go
give her a bath.
[upbeat music]
Weigh-in time.
I hate this part.
You need some
weighing music.
[recorder music]
[high-pitched tone]
Steph, have mercy
on my ears, will you?
This can't be right.
Two days, and I've only
lost half a pound?
I'm going off
this stupid diet.
Good, you're not gonna
be on diet anyway.
You wanna shape up
a little bit, just exercise.
In fact, why don't you go
work out at Michelle's gym?
Oh, yeah, like I really
want Michelle's body.
They have an adult gym
down there too.
I'll tell you what, Saturday
we'll get the whole family
go down there.
They could all use
a little toning up.
Of course, in my case,
I'd just be toning tone.
I'll provide
the workout music.
[recorder music]
[high-pitched tone]
Stephanie?
Yes, Michelle?
You are not good.
Well, it's just
she's missing one note.
Here, I'll show you
the note. Observe.
[recorder music]
[high-pitched tone]
You are not good too.
Wait a minute.
Something's stuck in here.
[blowing]
That's where
I stuck my gum.
That is not funny.
[instrumental music]
Oh, look at that, Comet,
you can see yourself.
That's what I get
for showing off.
Doing dishes?
Another big Saturday,
huh, Mr. T.?
It's good
to see you too, Kimmy.
D.J., you missed lunch.
But I saved you a sandwich.
Oh, well, great.
Thanks, dad.
Hey, check out my new bathing
suit for my pool party.
It's you, Kimmy. Loud.
D.J., eat up.
We're all going to the gym.
I'm skipping lunch.
Do you want my sandwich?
Yeah, sure.
Ham again?
I've been eating
your lunch for three days.
And every sandwich
is ham.
Did your dad
hit a pig with his car?
Goodbye, Kimmy.
D.J., you're giving
your lunches to Kimmy?
Yeah, so what?
You've been skipping breakfast
and dinner too.
I'm not an expert on this,
but shouldn't a person eat?
Uh, you're right, Steph.
I'll eat my sandwich.
- You promise?
- I promise.
Much better. Now get yourself
an apple and a glass of milk.
And your basic food groups
are covered.
Come here, Comet.
Look, what I have for you.
People food.
No. Come here.
You're lucky.
Dogs don't have to wear
bathing suits.
[intense music]
D.J., you promised
you'd eat your sandwich.
You lied.
Comet, stole it
right out of my hand.
You're lying again.
No, I'm not.
Lie number three.
When will this end?
Look, Steph, I've got one week
to look good in a bathing suit
in front of my friends.
Now when the party's over,
I'll start eating again.
But until then,
this is our secret.
- Now give me your pinkie.
- No, not the pinkie.
Yes, the pinkie.
You have to pinkie swear
that you won't tell anyone
I haven't been eating.
Now hook up.
Now, say it.
Pinkie swear.
But, I don't like it.
Well, too bad.
Your lips are sealed.
It smells like
a sweat sock in here.
Yeah, these
are my people.
What do you bench,
dude?
Five-O-five.
Beginner, huh?
It's cool.
It better be.
Hey, mister,
you are very lumpy.
I hope you're
not offended.
But if you are,
that's her father, right there.
So, what's the best way
to burn off calories?
Well, you make it fun.
You can ride a bike.
I loved riding bike
when I was a kid.
Of course,
my banana-seat huffy
didn't have
an onboard computer.
Sweetheart, start off slow,
on level one.
You don't wanna do
too much too soon, okay?
Got it.
Come on, Steph, let's go stretch
before aerobics class.
To the kiddie gym.
Boys, follow me.
One, two, one, two,
one, two, one, two.
One, two, one, two,
one, two, one, two.
Hi, Zachary.
Hi, Kelsey.
Hi, kid I don't know.
Alright, Michelle,
show us your stuff.
Here, loosen up, first.
One.
Two.
Three.
Ready, Freddy.
Michelle Tanner,
will now compete
in the iron munchkin
triathlon.
The first event,
ooh, the trampoline.
I love this.
Let's see that again
in slow motion.
[talking in slow motion]
I love this.
[clapping]
Well, okay.
Ooh, the next event.
The balance beam.
Ooh.
Remember, folks
she's working
without a net.
And now for
the big finish.
Michelle, will attempt
a single-tuck somersault
with no twist.
(both)
Ooh.
We need complete silence
as she prepares.
[exhales heavily]
Ooh, she's psyched up.
And..
...there she goes!
Ta-da!
'A perfect 10!'
I am pumped.
[breathing heavily]
Come on, Danny, dig deep.
You can do it.
That's right, you got
one more in you.
Come on, give us one more.
And...two
Take it guys,
take it.
Uhh.
Thanks for pushing me.
[beeping]
[breathing heavily]
Aerobics time.
Come on, boys.
- I'm not going to aerobics.
- Me, neither.
Come on, we don't want
to be late for aerobics.
Me, neither.
[breathing heavily]
[disco music]
(female #1)
Okay, let's keep it moving
out there.
Work those bodies.
One, two, three, four.
Come on, guys.
Staring at women
is not a workout.
Oh, yeah. It's got my heart
going pretty good.
You guys going
to make it?
(all)
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Do you always tears in your eyes
when you exercise?
(all)
Yes.
Let's move up front.
Maybe, it'll help
if you can see me better.
Uh, it couldn't hurt.
'Follow me, guys.'
'Move those legs,
boys! Come on!'
'Move it up here!'
Alright, now,
let's crank it up!
One, two, three, four.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Feel that burn!
'Are you burning?'
Alright, and rest!
[sighing]
D.J's gotta see this.
Alright, now that we're warmed
up, let's start the class.
(all)
Ohh.
(female #1)
'Let's get moving!'
I'm gonna go work out
with Michelle.
I better go with you.
- I better stay here.
- Why?
'Cause I can't move.
Deej, come do aerobics.
You're missing the fun.
I'll be right there.
Dad! D.J.!
D.J., are you okay?
Yeah, I just got
a little dizzy.
Here, drink this.
- How do you feel now, Deej?
- Uh, I'm okay.
I guess,
I just overdid it.
- But, D.J.--
- Steph, I'm okay.
I think we better go get
Michelle and go home.
Come on.
[instrumental music]
Mmm.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, D.J.
You feeling better
after your nap, honey?
Yeah, I'm good as new.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.
Are you really sure?
Would everybody quit making
such a big deal about this?
Deej, I made your favorite
chicken parmesan.
Come here
and check out this sauce.
I...can't.
I just brushed my teeth.
Before dinner?
Doesn't anybody care about
dental hygiene around here?
Whoa, D.J., calm down!
I happen to care
very deeply
about our family's
teeth and gums.
- Now what's going on?
- Nothing is going on.
I'm going to Kimmy's
for dinner.
Don't believe her, dad.
Steph, you pinkie swore.
I don't care. I don't
want you to get sick.
Dad, I know why D.J.'s
acting so cranky
and why she got dizzy today.
She hasn't eaten anything
in three days.
Is that true?
You haven't eaten anything
in three days?
D.J., I think you should
sit down and eat right now.
I can't. I'm finally
starting to lose weight.
D.J., you're starving
yourself.
You could do serious damage
to your body.
Deej, this kinda behavior can
lead to serious eating disorders
anorexia, bulimia.
You're headed down
a dangerous road here.
I don't care.
I'm the one that has to wear
the bathing suit next week.
It's my life and I can do
whatever I want.
Deej, hang on a minute.
I hope she's not mad at me.
Nah, you did
the right thing.
She's lucky to have
a sister like you.
D.J., we have to talk.
You don't understand.
I don't like the way I look.
I want to look
like these models.
Why?
Because they're beautiful.
Well, so are you.
Oh, yeah?
Well, show me one girl in here
with this round face
and these
Charlie Brown cheeks.
Honey, people come in all
different shapes and sizes.
Everybody wishes
they could change
something
about themselves.
Heck, when I was a kid
I wished I'd could have been
more like that guy
on "The Incredible Hulk."
You want to be a big green
monster with muscles?
No, not him. The other guy the
guy that turned into the Hulk.
[sighing]
He was just
nice and average.
He wasn't too tall,
wasn't too skinny.
He didn't stick out
like I thought I did.
Then I realized he didn't have
it so easy, either.
Every time he lost his temper,
he had to buy a new shirt.
Well, you made me smile
but there's still no way
I'm wearing a bathing suit
in front of my friends.
Okay. Lemme ask you
a question.
Why do you
like your friends?
Because they're nice
and we have fun together.
And we do stuff
for each other.
Not because they all
look like models?
No.
Maybe, that's because
deep down inside you know
that how a person
looks on the outside
isn't nearly
as important
as who they are
on the inside, right?
Right.
Honey, I just w-wish
you would try to see yourself
the way
you see your friends.
Deej, you got
such a good heart.
You care about people.
That's why people
care about you.
And everybody
who knows the real D.J.
Thinks she's pretty terrific.
Thanks, dad.
I love you.
I love you too.
That's why I want you
to take care of yourself.
I want you to promise me
that you're gonna eat healthy
and exercise the right way.
I promise.
No more crash diets.
I'm gonna go to Kimmy's party
and have fun with my friends.
Great. Anything else
you wanna talk about?
Yeah.
Is dinner ready?
[chuckling]
Let's go check.
[sighing]
Well, first,
I'll start out with a salad
dressing on the side.
- Ooh.
- A roll with no butter.
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
[music continues]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪