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[instrumental music]
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- Shorty.
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- Yes?
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Did you just eat the creamy
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middle outta that cookie
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and put the two ends
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back together?
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Yes.
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You ate the middle out of every
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cookie in this cookie jar?
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Next time,
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only buy the middles.
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[theme music]
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♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Ah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman
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the paper boy ♪
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♪ Evenin' TV ♪
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♪ When did I get to livin' here
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somebody tell me please ♪
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♪ This whole world's
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confusing me ♪
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♪ Clouds as mean
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as you've ever seen ♪
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♪ Ain't a bird
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who knows your tune ♪
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♪ Then a little voice
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inside you whispers ♪
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♪ Kid don't sell your
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dreams so soon ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look
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everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look
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everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face
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of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there
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and you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Shooby-do-ba-botta ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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[knock on door]
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Be right there.
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Coming.
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- Hey, Cindy.
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- Hi.
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- Rusty.
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- Hi, Danny.
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Welcome to the first
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annual Tanner family
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quality time barbecue.
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Oh, thanks for inviting us
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even though we're not
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officially family.
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Cindy, we've been
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dating over a month
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you dry clean my shorts.
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You're family.
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Well, here's my, semi-legendary
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homemade apple pie.
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[inhales]
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Oh, I can smell it from here.
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I can't wait.
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Apparently someone else
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couldn't wait, either.
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Rusty.
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Sorry, mom,
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it was a long car ride.
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[knock on door]
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(D.J.)
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'Don't get it.
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I've got it.'
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- Don't get it. I've got it.
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- D.J., what's going on?
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It's the paper boy, Ricky.
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- How do I look?
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- Hungry for love.
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Perfect.
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- Hi, Ricky.
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- Hi.
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I'm here to collect
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for the paper.
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Uh, 3.50, Mr. Tanner.
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Okay.
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Sorry, Ricky,
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all I have is a twenty.
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I don't have any change.
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That's okay.
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Keep it.
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Cool.
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Uh, what my incredibly
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generous daughter means is
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keep a dollar and come back
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with the rest, okay?
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Thanks for trying.
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I'll be back.
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I'll be here.
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I'll see you then.
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Toodle-oo.
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Toodle-oo?
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I'm such a geek.
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Mr. and Mrs.
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Ricky paper-boy.
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Muah, muah, muah.
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- Grow up.
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- Cindy, isn't this cute?
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They're fighting just
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like brother and sister.
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- Ew.
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- Ew.
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Hey, mister,
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what are you up to now?
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Well, I'm just
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typing a letter.
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And you can
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help me deliver it.
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Like a mailman.
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I'm very busy today.
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Well, tell you what,
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little lady.
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I'll give you..
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...this bright,
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shiny, new penny.
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Don't be cheap,
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give me a nickel.
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Well, you drive a hard bargain,
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but here you go.
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Thank you very much.
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Okay, now take this letter
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into the kitchen
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and give it
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to your sister.
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Now, here is
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the fun part.
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Tell her it's from Ricky,
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the paper boy.
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But that's a lie.
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Here is another nickel.
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You got a deal, dude.
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This is gonna
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make D.J. crazy.
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[laughing]
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This is for my sister.
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- Who gave this to you?
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- I do not lie.
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It was Rusty.
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But I'm keeping the money.
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"I've loved you secretly
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for a long time.
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"When I see you in the house,
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my heart burns with passion.
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"I can't live
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without your love.
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Signed, hot for you."
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Ew, gross.
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Why did you say
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"Ew, gross?"
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Because..
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...Rusty loves me.
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Ew, gross.
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If anyone finds out I got a
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love letter from that doofus
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I'll die.
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(Cindy)
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'I'll be right back, Danny.'
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Oh, hi, Steph. Uh, your dad
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wants the air freshener.
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In the backyard?
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Yeah, he said it doesn't
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smell woodsy enough.
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That's my dad.
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You've gotta love him.
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You should.
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Cindy, how's the most beautiful
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dry cleaner I've ever known?
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Joey.
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What did you spill?
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Uh, ketchup on my shirt,
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mustard on my pants.
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I gotta stop making
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sandwiches in the car.
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I'll take it out to my van
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so I don't forget.
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Cindy, you are the best.
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Uh, by the way, I left a little
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note in there for you.
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It explains everything.
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His heart burns
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with passion?
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He can't live
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without my love?
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Joey's hot for me?
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(Danny)
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'Cindy?'
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Cin, you've gotta come
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smell the backyard.
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It's pine-forest fresh.
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I-I will, um..
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I-I just have to
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take out Joey's laundry.
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Oh, and it means
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nothing to me.
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Nothing.
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Hi.
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I'm taking Joey's
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laundry out to my van.
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Well..
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Thank you for sharing that.
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Hi, I'm sorry
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I'm late.
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Oh, and the Jell-O
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didn't gel yet.
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Oh, hey, that's okay.
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We'll tell everyone
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it's lime soup.
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Beck, do me a favor.
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Take a look at some notes
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I made for tomorrow's show.
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I'm thinking about some changes
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that may affect us both.
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Let me know
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how you feel, okay?
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Sure, I'll look
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at 'em right now.
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Great, I'll go put out
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some soup bowls and croutons
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for your Jell-O.
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Oh, my God.
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Danny can't live
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without my love?
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If Jesse finds out,
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he'll kill Danny.
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Hmm...I would have
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my own show.
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[sighs]
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I went to four
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different stores
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trying to find Danny
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low-sodium gherkins.
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He's getting dills,
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and he's gonna like 'em.
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I need a kiss.
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I have to hide this.
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I've gotta keep him
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kissing me.
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I know what he likes.
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Ooh, I like that.
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What are you doing
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behind my back?
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- Uh, nothing.
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- What is it? What is that?
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Oh, a...library book.
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Wouldn't you know?
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Kimmy Gibbler.
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[scoffs]
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And a month overdue.
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Boy, that child
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is out of control.
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Jess, where have
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you been with my pickles?
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I've been worried sick.
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Where do you think? You sent me
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on a wild gherkin chase.
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All I could find were dills.
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Here, enjoy.
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Jess, dills?
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My entire menu is based
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around the gherkin.
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You're just gonna have
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to go to Pickle Town.
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Danny's trying
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to get rid of Jesse
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so he can be
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alone with me.
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Come on.
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D-dills, gherkins?
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What's the big difference?
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Who cares?
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I care.
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I care deeply.
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Jess, I'll go bring
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the car around.
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As long as you're going to
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the store, let me go check
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the fridge and see if we need
296
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,765
any other condiments.
297
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,810
Oh, where are you gonna
298
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,810
send me now, mustard city?
299
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,730
Hey, it is right across
300
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,730
from Pickle Town.
301
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,440
Oh, Jesse.
302
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,235
If you're going out, can you
303
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,235
pick me up a copy of Teen Hunk?
304
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,777
It has a
305
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,777
scratch-and-sniff ad
306
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,906
for New Kids On The Block
307
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,906
cologne.
308
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,242
A, I don't buy Teen Hunk.
309
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,744
Two, here.
310
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,996
A little surprise in there
311
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,996
for you, kimbo.
312
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,543
I got two nickels.
313
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,045
What can I buy with this?
314
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,588
A dime.
315
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:49,881
That's it?
316
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,096
Whoa, baby.
317
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,681
Jesse's hot for me?
318
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,058
And why not?
319
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,477
I'm twice the woman
320
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,477
Becky is.
321
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,399
You better be
322
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,399
nice to me, kid.
323
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,526
If I...marry
324
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,526
your Uncle Jesse
325
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,319
I could be your Aunt Kimmy.
326
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,488
No way, Jose.
327
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,198
No way, Jose.
328
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,659
I better go glam up
329
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,659
for my man.
330
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,870
Time for a little
331
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,870
gloss and floss.
332
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,124
Jess, what's
333
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,124
taking so long?
334
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,751
Danny wanted me to get
335
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,751
a few more things.
336
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,002
'Oh, I forgot
337
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,002
my sweater.'
338
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,130
- I'll get it.
339
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,130
- Thanks.
340
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,178
A love letter to Becky?
341
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,680
"When I see you
342
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,680
in the house.."
343
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,558
This must be
344
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,558
from Danny or Joey.
345
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,312
I don't believe
346
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,312
this letter.
347
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,896
Me either.
348
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,901
I've gotta
349
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,901
learn to read.
350
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,614
[instrumental music]
351
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:00,785
Michelle, my dearest
352
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:00,785
little niece
353
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,580
could you go and ask your daddy
354
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,580
and Joey to come in here please?
355
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:06,249
It will be my pleasure.
356
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,421
(Rebecca)
357
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,421
'Jess, are you still in there?'
358
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,924
Yeah?
359
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,511
Honey, I-I thought we were
360
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,511
going to the store.
361
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,220
There's been
362
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,220
a change of plans.
363
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,056
Guys.
364
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,391
Does Jesse know Danny
365
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,226
gave me that love letter?
366
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,647
Gentlemen..
367
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:31,149
I'm gonna find out right now
368
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:31,149
which of my best friends
369
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,485
is a back-stabbing weasel.
370
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:37,489
Okay, which one
371
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:37,489
of my best friends
372
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:40,074
would like to escort
373
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:40,074
my fiance to Pickle Town?
374
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,665
Hey, I'll go.
375
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,665
Come on, Becky.
376
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:50,126
Aha, so Danny's the weasel
377
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:50,126
who wants my webecca.
378
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,961
Rebecca.
379
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,880
Danny, you've got a million
380
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,880
things to do.
381
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,173
I'll take Becky.
382
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,885
Hmm, maybe Joey's
383
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,885
the real reasel.
384
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,887
Weasel.
385
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,472
- Joey.
386
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,472
- Oh, hi, Cindy.
387
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,015
You wanna take a ride
388
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,015
to the store?
389
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,099
With the man who's trying
390
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,561
to steal me from Danny?
391
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,104
Sorry, I haven't smelled
392
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,104
the backyard yet.
393
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,775
You know what?
394
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,775
This is just stupid.
395
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,028
I'm just gonna call Pickle Town.
396
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,028
They deliver.
397
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,074
30 minutes or less,
398
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,074
or your pickles are free.
399
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,248
Becky, you and I
400
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,248
need to talk.
401
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,999
Hello, Jesse.
402
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,549
What do you want,
403
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,549
Gibbler?
404
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,467
Good, pretend you
405
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,467
don't like me.
406
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,719
Becky will never suspect
407
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:42,637
you wrote me
408
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:42,637
that love letter.
409
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,061
Kimmy, you got some
410
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,061
gunk in your eye.
411
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,314
Becky, I just want
412
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,314
you to know that..
413
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:54,733
...no matter
414
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:54,733
what happens
415
00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:56,568
I'll always want us
416
00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:56,568
to be friends.
417
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,405
Thanks, Kimmy.
418
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,405
That's very reassuring.
419
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,032
Yeah, that's what
420
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,032
you say now.
421
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,159
Wait till that rock
422
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,159
is on my finger.
423
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:10,957
I'm gonna learn to read
424
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:10,957
if it kills me.
425
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,002
This is a "A."
426
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,002
This is a apple.
427
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,879
So what?
428
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,760
Hey, kid. Did you deliver the
429
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,760
letter I wrote to your sister?
430
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,970
- Yes, I did.
431
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,970
- And what happened?
432
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,222
Everything went bananas.
433
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,891
I love it.
434
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,891
You did it, Michelle.
435
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,144
Way to go, kid.
436
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,144
Coochie, coochie, coochie.
437
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,688
You know we make
438
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,688
a great team together.
439
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,775
I've gotta get
440
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,775
a lock for my door.
441
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,114
D.J., you're never
442
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,114
gonna believe this.
443
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,199
Rusty wrote me
444
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,199
a love letter.
445
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:49,120
- Ew, gross.
446
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:49,120
- What is he thinking?
447
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,580
He's two years
448
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,580
older than me
449
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,749
and he's a complete
450
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,749
cootie-burger.
451
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,252
I'm gonna go dump him.
452
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,754
Steph, wait a sec.
453
00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,464
Maybe I should
454
00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,464
talk to him.
455
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,883
It's just possible Rusty might
456
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,883
actually have feelings.
457
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,220
- Nah.
458
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,220
- Nah.
459
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,515
Hey, Steph,
460
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,515
what's up?
461
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,974
How rude.
462
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,604
Rusty, have a seat.
463
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:17,023
Let's you and I
464
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:17,023
have a talk.
465
00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:20,234
- Let's talk about love.
466
00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:20,234
- Okay.
467
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,571
Well, I understand that
468
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,571
you're ready for a girlfriend
469
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,449
but in my opinion, you need
470
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,449
a girlfriend who's older.
471
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:27,575
More mature.
472
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,206
Okay.
473
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,211
(Danny)
474
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,211
'Come on, everybody
475
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,211
in the kitchen.'
476
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,046
Just think about
477
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,046
what I said, okay?
478
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,382
She's all over me.
479
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,762
We'll talk later.
480
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:52,433
That babe is hot
481
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:52,433
for the Rustman.
482
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:55,144
Come on everybody, lend a hand,
483
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:55,144
it's time for the first annual
484
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,522
Tanner family
485
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,522
quality time barbecue.
486
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,524
Come on, let's go.
487
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,524
Everybody in line.
488
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,401
Oh, this is great,
489
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,401
it's like one big love train.
490
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:04,362
♪ People round the world
491
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:04,362
join hands unh ♪
492
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,031
♪ Start a love train
493
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,031
love train ♪♪
494
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,491
Great, I'll be
495
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,491
the caboose.
496
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,744
[imitates train whistle]
497
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,204
Joey, stop.
498
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,706
You wanna be the caboose?
499
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,252
Joey, you're the only one
500
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,252
I can talk to about this.
501
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,796
If Jesse ever found out,
502
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,796
he'd go crazy.
503
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,297
Beck, you can trust me.
504
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,092
I know.
505
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,092
You're so sweet.
506
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:30,137
Oh, how do I say this?
507
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:30,137
Joey, sometimes a friend
508
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,223
becomes so close
509
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,223
to another friend
510
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,393
that it turns into love
511
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,977
which wouldn't be so bad
512
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:40,523
if one of those friends
513
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:40,523
wasn't engaged to be married.
514
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:43,777
Joey, is this
515
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:43,777
making any sense?
516
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,237
Complete sense.
517
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,532
Holy cow.
518
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,532
Becky's in love with me.
519
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,495
What're you guys doing?
520
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,624
Oh, uh, I was
521
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,624
checking her pulse.
522
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,127
Yep.
523
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,127
She's very healthy.
524
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,046
Mmm, boy, those
525
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,046
hot dogs smell good.
526
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:08,468
Now I know it's Joey.
527
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:08,468
I'll kill him.
528
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,094
Good thing he doesn't know.
529
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:13,264
He'd kill me.
530
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,348
[laughing]
531
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,143
Ho.
532
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:18,853
- Ho ho.
533
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:18,853
- Ha ha ha.
534
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:27,153
We need to talk
535
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:27,153
about this letter.
536
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,822
I know this is a bad time
537
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,822
to bring it up
538
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:32,074
but I just had
539
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:32,074
to get it out into the open.
540
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,494
Becky's in love with me?
541
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,788
Why do I have to be
542
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,788
so darned attractive?
543
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,709
Hide the letter.
544
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,709
Jesse's coming.
545
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,962
Here. You don't know me.
546
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,962
You never saw me.
547
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,798
Now go.
548
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,798
Hi, Jess.
549
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,384
I thought it was Joey
550
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,384
but look at that guilty grin.
551
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,886
Maybe it's Danny.
552
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,138
I'll kill both of them,
553
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,138
and sort it out later.
554
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,807
Here's your burger, honey.
555
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,184
Hi, Jesse,
556
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,184
I saved you a seat.
557
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,648
Kimmy, you've got to
558
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,648
do something about
559
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,692
that eye of yours.
560
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,987
I've gotta tell Joey he doesn't
561
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,987
have a chance with me.
562
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,530
- Joey?
563
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,530
- Hi, Cindy.
564
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:11,865
Just be honest.
565
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,241
You have salad dressing
566
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,241
on your shirt.
567
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,744
Oh, gee, thanks.
568
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,455
Wait, uh, no.
569
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,455
There-there's more.
570
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,248
Really, where?
571
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,917
[chuckles]
572
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,917
No. No.
573
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:27,839
Joey, sometimes
574
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:27,839
the wrong people fall in love.
575
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:31,509
Oh, it's not anybody's fault,
576
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:31,509
it just happens.
577
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,344
I don't want Danny
578
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,344
to get hurt.
579
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,223
So let's just try to control our
580
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,223
burning passions, alright?
581
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,684
I'll try my best.
582
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,311
Come on, guys.
583
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,311
Time for barbecue fun.
584
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,566
First Becky falls for me,
585
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,566
now Cindy?
586
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,986
Boy, this New Kids On The Block
587
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,986
cologne really works.
588
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,909
Welcome to the first annual
589
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,578
Tanner family
590
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,578
quality time barbecue.
591
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:03,123
I can't say that enough.
592
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:03,123
Exactly, what is quality time?
593
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,417
I would define it as
594
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,335
time that we all
595
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,335
get to spend together.
596
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:09,964
One false move and Rusty
597
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:09,964
gets a weenie in his ear.
598
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,844
D.J. is such a babe.
599
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,432
Why is Rusty
600
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,432
staring at me?
601
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,726
Do I have something
602
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,726
stuck in my teeth?
603
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,688
What am I getting at
604
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,688
here? Quality..
605
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,440
I've gotta figure out
606
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,440
what to do about
607
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,275
Becky falling in love with me.
608
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,693
It's a good thing
609
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,693
I can ramble on and on
610
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:34,530
for hours and
611
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:34,530
hours and...hours.
612
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,574
Look at Danny
613
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,243
babbling on the outside
614
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,580
burning with passion
615
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,580
for me on the inside.
616
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,417
Look at these two weasels.
617
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,712
One can't shut up,
618
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,712
and the other one needs a bib.
619
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,298
I'll be doing mankind
620
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,298
a favor when I kill 'em.
621
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:59,346
Mrs. Kimmy Katsopolis.
622
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:59,346
Sounds so geeky.
623
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,140
I'll have him
624
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,140
take my name.
625
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:03,183
Mr. Jesse Gibbler.
626
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:09,107
I sure hope Becky and Cindy
627
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:09,107
don't fight over me right here.
628
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,443
Although it could be fun
629
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,443
if we built a mud pit.
630
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,031
Joey is sweet,
631
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,031
but I like Danny.
632
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:20,409
Oh, he's such
633
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:20,409
an eloquent speaker.
634
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:21,786
♪ Boring ♪
635
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,162
♪ Boring ♪
636
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:26,373
♪ Why is my daddy
637
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:26,373
so boring ♪♪
638
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,754
Gee, I hope somebody
639
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,754
drops a hamburger.
640
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,257
So, to make
641
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,257
a long story short
642
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,634
let's just sit back,
643
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,634
although be careful
644
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,136
there's no backs
645
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,136
on your chairs.
646
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:41,722
And relax and enjoy some fun
647
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:41,722
quality time together.
648
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:45,601
Daddy, can I take this love
649
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:45,601
letter off my head now?
650
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,148
Michelle, where did
651
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,148
you get this letter?
652
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:52,608
Daddy gave it to me.
653
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,944
So you sent
654
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,944
this letter to Rebecca?
655
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,570
Hey, Becky gave
656
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,570
that letter to me.
657
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,572
- What?
658
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,572
- Wait a minute.
659
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:01,241
- You gave me this letter first.
660
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:01,241
- Joey, don't just sit there.
661
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,660
You know you wrote
662
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,660
this letter to me.
663
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,162
What letter?
664
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,746
That's the letter
665
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,746
my Jesse sent to me.
666
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,916
Yeah.
667
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,916
Your Jesse?
668
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:12,045
I got that letter from Rusty.
669
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:12,045
He's in love with me.
670
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:16,090
No way. I love D.J.,
671
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:16,090
and she loves me.
672
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,259
Who are you people,
673
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,259
and where's my real family?
674
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,428
[indistinct arguing]
675
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,059
Hold it.
676
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,059
H-h-hold it. Hold it.
677
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,727
Everybody, just
678
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,727
knock it off.
679
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,103
Now, somebody
680
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,103
wrote that letter
681
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,730
and I wanna know
682
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,730
who it is, right now.
683
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:34,274
- I know who.
684
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:34,274
- You do? Who?
685
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:38,445
- It was Rusty.
686
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:38,445
- She's lying.
687
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:41,949
- Rusty.
688
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:41,949
- Okay, I'm lying.
689
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,868
I wanted D.J. to think it was a
690
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,868
love letter from the paper boy.
691
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:46,954
You little rat.
692
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,667
[indistinct chattering]
693
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:02,678
Pretty funny, huh?
694
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:02,678
I'm glad you can take a joke.
695
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:08,017
You all can take
696
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:08,017
a joke, can't you?
697
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:11,395
You're in big trouble, mister.
698
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:15,024
- Come here, Rusty.
699
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:15,024
- Get him.
700
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:20,071
Rusty, don't run away form me,
701
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:20,071
young man.
702
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,656
- Hi.
703
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,656
- Hi, Ricky.
704
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,909
Ah, here, I brought
705
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,909
back your dad's change.
706
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,660
Oh, thanks.
707
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,288
So, uh, barbecue?
708
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:33,209
Yeah. It's kind of a...family
709
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:33,209
togetherness thing.
710
00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:37,130
Rusty.
711
00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:40,091
- Jesse, he's just a ki--
712
00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:40,091
- No. Let him get him.
713
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,760
Wait for me.
714
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,760
Wait for me.
715
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,511
Wait for me.
716
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:50,059
They're just
717
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:50,059
working up an appetite.
718
00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:51,644
Well, if you're
719
00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:51,644
hungry, dig in.
720
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,062
Great. Thanks.
721
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:59,819
You know, I really am glad
722
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:59,819
I came back.
723
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:00,820
Me, too.
724
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,446
Oh, mylanta.
725
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:10,537
[instrumental music]
726
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,168
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
727
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:18,296
[theme music]
728
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:38,024
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
729
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,234
♪ Shooby-do-ba-botta ♪♪