[instrumental music]
[door opens]
Hey, Michelle.
Will you please help me put
away the groceries, honey?
It will be my pleasure.
Well, thank you
very much.
[gasps]
♪ I'm goin' for a walk ♪
♪ It's no big deal ♪♪
Gee, Michelle,
wait a second.
I...I could have sworn I
had a bag of cookies in there
for after dinner.
Do you have any
idea where they went?
Are they peanut
butter chocolate chip?
Yes, they are.
I never saw them.
I wonder where those
cookies could be.
Could they be
under this shirt?
How did they get there?
I don't know.
Maybe the cookie monster
put them there, huh?
You! Is it right to have
cookies under your shirt?
- Yeah.
- No, it's not.
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah-h-h ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ And a bird who
knows your tune ♪
♪ And that little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face of
somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
And rotate.
Hello.
(Danny)
'Hi.'
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh, sorry, Deej.
I didn't see you.
I've been following
you for three blocks.
- How come you didn't say hi?
- I did.
This..
...does not mean hi.
Steph, I see we
have company here.
- Aren't you gonna introduce us?
- Oh, sorry, dad.
This is my Brett.
I mean, my
friend Brett.
Hi.
Hi. I'm, uh, I'm her dad.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.
Brett plays
for the Cubs.
Last year,
he hit 421
had six stolen bases,
and only made one error.
But it wasn't his fault
'cause the ball hit a rock.
- Did I get that right?
- Perfect.
This year us Giants are
gonna kick your little--
Rusty.
I've gotta
get to practice.
I'll see you at
school tomorrow.
I'll wait for you by
the water fountain, Brett.
- Bye.
[imitating Stephanie]
"I'll wait for you
by the water
fountain, Brett."
Stephanie's in love.
No, I am not.
Can I help it if
we both like water?
Steph, you were kinda
drooling over Brett.
I was?
No, it's just an expression.
Come on, we need to talk.
Rusty, today is an important
day for you, son, because..
...I'm gonna teach you how
to slide without getting dirty.
That's impossible, coach.
Not if you Scotchgard
before every at bat.
Isn't Brett mega cute?
Don't you love his
curly brown eyelashes?
Do you think he likes me?
Well, it's hard to tell.
Boys at that age
are so immature.
Actually, boys at
any age are immature.
It's weird, I mean, boys
were always chasing me
and I never really cared.
But whenever I'm with
him, my heart goes
Brett-Brett
Brett-Brett, Brett-Brett.
How do I get him
to be my boyfriend?
What do I do? What do I say?
What should I wear?
Maybe, I should
change my hair color.
Steph, get a grip.
Now, look, all you have
to do is hang out together.
What do you both like?
Well, we both like
the pork and beans
in the cafeteria.
And we both like to
pick out that cube of fat
that's always in it.
There's a love connection.
Now, keep thinking.
What else does he like?
Brett loves baseball.
Well, you're good in sports.
Why don't you try
out for little league?
You know you can
be on dad's team.
Brett and I could talk
about baseball all day.
Deej, you're a genius.
Of course, I'm
an experienced woman.
You know, it's amazing that
a woman with your experience
doesn't have a boyfriend.
Well, I'm playing hard to get.
Oh! Well, you're doing
a really good job.
- 'Huh?'
- Oh.
Jess, our first night
in our new apartment.
You know, honey,
you did a really
terrific job
with the attic.
Thank you, wait a minute,
you haven't seen
my piece de resistance.
Ooh. That is really tacky.
- But I love it.
- Ha ha ha.
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Katsopolis.
Oh, goody.
Michelle's here.
It's time to play.
Michelle, we already
played down in your room.
Now we can play in your room.
[chuckles]
Michelle, uh, your
Uncle Jesse and I
well, we'd sort of
like to be alone.
We are alone, silly.
Alright, Michelle,
you wanna play a game?
Let's play airplane, okay?
- Yay!
- Alright!
We've been cleared for
a takeoff, and she's up.
And here we go. Hey!
There's no peanuts.
There's no movie.
But there's plenty of room
for landing outside the door.
Thank you for flying
Air Katsopolis.
Have a nice day.
Now, where were we?
[doorknob rattling]
(Michelle)
'Hey, you locked me out!'
Goodnight, Michelle.
We'll see you in the morning.
(Michelle)
'Fine! I'm leaving.'
'But you're gonna miss me!'
Joey, I'm very mad.
Hold on just
a second, Michelle.
How can I possibly owe
this much in income tax?
Hmm, you think
maybe they'll believe
that I had a $10,000
business lunch at The Sizzler?
Don't you wanna
know why I'm very mad?
Okay, why are you very mad?
Uncle Jesse locked me out.
Now, why would Uncle Jesse
do something like that?
I don't know. I'm a fun girl.
Well, I'm just guessing,
Michelle, but I think
Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky
just want some privacy.
What is privacy?
Well, privacy means
that they just wanna
spend some time together,
just the two of 'em.
What are they doing in there?
Well, they're, uh..
...they're doing their taxes.
Are they going to do
their taxes every night?
For the first couple of months.
I don't like this one bit.
Well, maybe I can help
you with this, Michelle.
We better go right now.
This is serious.
Okay, okay.
- Jess.
- Rebecca.
- Jess.
- We're nuts.
[moaning]
[knocking on door]
It's the kid again.
Alright, kill the music.
This time I'm getting tough.
We're sleeping, honey.
(Joey)
'Then why are you
talking, angel?'
It's the big kid.
Jess, Michelle
has a big problem.
Yes, Michelle.
What's your problem?
You tell him, Joey! I'm too mad!
Well, Michelle
thinks you don't have
time to spend
with her anymore.
I'm madder than that!
I'm sorry.
Have you no decency?
All this sweet little girl
wants to do is spend some time
with her aunt and uncle
who she loves.
Is that too much to ask?
I think not.
Much better.
Michelle, now,
your Aunt Becky and I
love you very, very, very much.
And we're sorry if
we hurt your feelings
but we need to spend
some time alone.
Michelle, I have an idea.
How about if the three of us
set aside some special time
every day for you to
come up here and play?
I'd like that.
Alright, it's a deal.
Okay, Joey, let's go play.
Oh, I can't, uh, Michelle,
I have to do my taxes.
Have you no decency?
All this young lady wants to do
is hang out with her pal Joey
who she loves very much.
Is that too much to ask?
I think not.
Steph, honey, I know you
like hanging out with your dad
but do you really wanna
try out for little league?
Dad, I've done some
serious thinking
and I've decided that
baseball is my life.
You just like baseball
'cause Brett likes baseball.
I bet you can't even throw.
I can too.
Ow! Whoa!
This babe's got an arm.
Hey, my daughter is not a babe.
She does have an arm.
Steph, let's try something here.
Rusty, come here.
Give me the ball, son.
And grab yourself a bat.
And I want you
to stand in there.
Steph, I want you to
wind up really hard
and pitch one into me right now.
Okay? Right in here.
Whoa! Did you see
that ball curve?
I sure did.
Steph, how would you like
to pitch for the Giants?
Great. Thanks, dad.
Now, what are we gonna
call that pitch of yours?
The Tanner Twister.
This Saturday we're
gonna kill the Cubs.
Yeah, we're gonna destroy 'em.
We're gonna cream 'em.
We are going to make
the Cubs eat dust!
I love being a jock.
Let's go.
[instrumental music]
Come on down, everybody.
Breakfast is ready.
Michelle is so
excited, I told her
she could be Batboy
at the game today.
Daddy, I'm here.
Michelle, you're
not fighting crime.
You're handing
out baseball bats.
Aw, nuts.
Can I still wear the cape?
Sure, sweetheart.
Stephanie, guess
who's here to see you.
Who?
Brett-Brett,
Brett-Brett Brett-Brett.
D.J., puh-lease.
Doesn't he look
great in that uniform?
Yes, but, don't
let him know that.
- Be cool.
- Got it.
Hi, Steph.
Hello.
You look great
in that uniform.
Beginners.
You know, it's
too bad our teams
are playing each
other opening day.
Yeah, I hope you win.
I hope we win too.
I hope it's a tie.
Wanna see what I
wrote on my bat?
"S.T." with
a heart around it?
S.T. for
Stephanie Tanner.
Oh, Brett, does this mean
what I think it means?
I hope it means
you're my girlfriend.
Alright!
I mean..
...that's cool.
- Well, good luck today.
- Good luck to you too.
Hmm, thanks.
I'll need it.
I heard nobody can hit
the Tanner Twister.
Yeah, I even struck out my dad.
Oh, no. My whole
family's gonna be there.
If I get struck out
by my own girlfriend
I'll never hear the end of it.
You probably won't strike out.
I hope not.
I hate to even say this,
but if you threw me
a couple of easy ones,
I'd be sure to get a hit.
- Isn't that cheating?
- Kind of.
Or it could just be a girlfriend
helping a boyfriend.
Well, you could
look at it that way.
Great! Thanks for
helping me, Steph.
I'll see you at the game.
So, Steph, what did Brett want?
Oh, he just came by
to wish me good luck.
Come on, honey, let's eat.
Star pitchers need their energy.
Dad, what would happen today
if, say, I didn't
pitch too well?
Like if I gave up a couple
of home runs or something?
Steph..
...I don't want you to put
any pressure on yourself.
All that matters is that
with every pitch you throw
you're doing
the best you can.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Okay.
[instrumental music]
[spectators cheering]
(Danny)
'Okay, Steph! Strike him out!'
- 'Go get 'em!'
- Strike!
[spectators cheering]
Come on, Steph.
Hey, batter, batter, strike out.
(D.J.)
'Get him, Stephie!'
Strike three!
Thank you very much.
The Tanner Twister
strikes again.
That brings up
dangerous Brett Davis.
'Davis hit a double
his first time up.'
(male #1)
'Come on Brett!
Come on, you can do it!'
Come on, Steph.
Fire it in there.
Burn it by him.
Blow that smoke!
Just throw the ball,
honey, I'm out of cliches.
Come on, Brett!
Don't let me down!
(D.J.)
Get him, Steph!'
It's a shot to left.
It's going. It's going.
'It's gone. Home run!
Kiss that baby goodbye.'
[spectators cheering]
- Way to go!
- 'Whoo!'
- 'Way to go, Brett!'
- 'Yay!'
[spectators cheering]
That was not very nice.
(Danny)
'Don't worry, Steph.
We'll get him next time.'
(Joey on mic)
'Well, the score is 1-1
at the top of the fifth.'
'Giants have a runner on third.'
And coming up to the plate
is the girl with the golden arm
Stephanie Tanner.
Take the blue one,
it's prettier.
Thank you, Batgirl.
Just doing my job.
[spectators cheering]
Make a hit, Steph!
Make me proud of you.
Come on, Steph.
That means hit it, honey.
(Danny)
'Come on, we got a man
on third. Bring him home.'
[spectators cheering]
You're out!
She was safe by a mile.
Who's paying you
to throw this game?
You got a kid on the team?
Huh, huh, huh?
- Jess, don't make a scene.
- Danny, do something.
That's the worst call
I've ever seen in my life.
Jess, I was standing
right there. She was out.
Oh. Well, why don't
you get us better seats?
I can't see a thing
from where we're at.
Come on, honey, be a good
boy, stay in your seat
and I'll buy
you a snow cone.
I like cherry.
Once again, a reminder.
Family members are prohibited
from coming out onto the field
and embarrassing themselves
and their loved ones.
[instrumental music]
(Joey on mic)
'Well, folks, it's
all come down to this.'
'The score is 2-1,
favor of Tanner's Giants.'
'We're in the bottom
of the last inning.'
'Two out. Runners
on second and third.'
And stepping up to the plate
is dangerous Brett Davis.'
Tanner's had problems
striking him out all day long.
You can cut
the tension with a knife.
Yo, buddy. Hot dog?
(Danny)
'Alright, Steph. We got another
shot at it. Come on, baby.'
- Strike!
- 'Strike one!'
(Joey on mic)
'She blew that right by him.'
[spectators cheering]
Come on, son!
It's all up to you!
(Danny)
'Pitch it to him, Steph.
Right in there, honey.'
- Strike!
- 'Strike two.'
Well, the Giants are one strike
away from winning this game.
Can you stand
this excitement?
Time out!
Ump, time out!
- You need to talk to me, Steph?
- Not really.
I need to talk to D.J.
It's a woman thing.
Enough said. D.J.!
(Joey on mic)
'Well, it looks
like Manager Tanner'
'is bringing in
another pitcher.'
No, actually, he's bringing
in another daughter.
Here comes D.J. Tanner.
She's editor of her school
paper, loves them all
and spends hours
in the bathroom.
- Joey.
- 'Sorry.'
Deej, tell her to
throw the twister, okay?
Okay.
What is it?
This is embarrassing.
I'm in trouble.
Brett wants me to
throw him an easy one
so he can get a hit.
Oh, I get it.
If you strike him out
you might lose
a boyfriend.
But if you let
him get a hit
you'll be letting
your whole team down.
Tough one.
Well, good luck.
D.J., wait.
What do I do?
Well, you have to decide
what's more important.
Self-respect or true love.
This would be a lot easier
if he wasn't such a babe.
Play ball!
Alright, folks. We're finally
ready for the moment of truth.
One more strike
and the Giants win.
But if Brett gets a hit,
the Cubs could win.
What a nail-biter.
Hey, nachos, over here.
Just bring whatever's left.
Come on, Brett,
come on, you can do it.
- 'Alright, here we go.'
- 'Go.'
(male #2)
'Come on, Brett. We can win it.'
[intense music]
Strike three!
(Joey on mic)
'She struck him out!'
'The Giants win the game!'
Can I get this
stuff to go? Yeah!
[instrumental music]
We're number one.
(Michelle)
'We're number one.
We're number one.'
Comet, next time you
see me liking a boy
talk me out of it.
Hi, Steph.
Brett, what are
you doing here?
I kind of forgot to say..
...nice game.
Thanks. I'm sorry
for striking you out.
But the team was counting on me.
I understand.
If I were you, I would
have struck me out too.
Really? You're not mad at me.
No. I'm lucky
you're not mad at me.
I should never have asked
my girlfriend to cheat for me.
I'm still your girlfriend?
Alright!
I mean, that's cool.
- So, what do you wanna do now?
- I don't know.
You wanna go inside
and watch the sports channel?
Sounds good to me.
[barks]
Comet. Comet.
About me not
liking boys anymore
I was just kidding. Ha ha.
[instrumental music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪