[instrumental music]
It's puppet time.
You be the chipmunk.
No, Michelle, I'm not
really a puppet kind of guy.
I would do it for you.
Oh, very good.
Your very first guilt trip.
Okay, I'll do it,
but don't tell anyone.
Rawr! I'm gonna
get you, chipmunk!
Oh, no, oh, no.
Be nice to me, be nice to me.
You don't sound
like a chipmunk.
How does a chipmunk sound?
Squeaky.
Oh.
Oh, no, oh, no.
Be nice, be nice.
[squeaks]
Sque-e-eakier.
[squeaking]
Oh, no, oh, no.
Be nice, be nice.
Uncle Jesse, dinner's ready.
[squeaks]
Coming!
I mean, I'm coming.
You stay and practice.
I'll go eat.
Oh, really?
Get back here!
[Michelle laughing]
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah-h-h ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ When did I get
to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's ♪
♪ Confusin' me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ And a bird who
knows your tune ♪
♪ And that little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face of
somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Kimmy, would you
quit copying my essay?
What makes you think
I'm copying you?
"What America Means To Me.
By D.J. Tanner."
I am sick
of Stephanie.
I know the feeling.
I was talking about
my name, Gibbler.
Some kid in school today
started calling me "Step-on-me."
Next thing I knew, my
whole class was doing it.
I don't know how
that caught on so fast.
This could be a clue.
How rude!
I'm going to change my
name to something cool
something that says me.
How about an Indian name
like "Little-pain-in-neck?"
Well, Kimmy, if we're
going with Indian names
that would make you
"Big-hole-in-head."
Ha ha ha, oh-ho, D.J.
Your phone bill is
so funny this month
I just had to share it with you.
The funniest part is this
$56 call to Tokyo. Ha ha ha.
Start explaining.
Dad, I didn't call Tokyo.
No?
Well...somebody did.
[no audio]
Kimmy?
I did not
make that call.
I've never been so
insulted in all my life.
Yes, you have.
I just nailed you with that
Hole-in-the-head joke.
Don't you remember?
Of course not.
You've got a big
hole in your head.
Ha ha! That's two in a row.
As soon as I
think of a comeback
I'm coming back.
Well, then, I guess
this is goodbye forever.
Ha ha, that's three
in a row. I kill myself.
Hey, I'm just going to LA for
a couple of hours. See you guys.
Joey, you're going to LA
for a couple of hours?
Why are you going to LA?
♪ Row row row your boat
gently down the stream ♪♪
(female on phone)
'Moshi-moshi?'
Mikko-san. Moshi-moshi, dude.
'Michelle-san, genki desu ka?'
Guess what? I can count to 100.
1, 2, 3
4, 5, 6..
Joey, why are
you flying to LA?
I just have a craving for a bag
of those honey-roasted peanuts
that they give you on
the plane. That's all.
You're flying all the way
to LA for one bag of nuts?
Danny, that would be stupid.
I get another bag
on the way back.
(D.J. and Stephanie)
Joey, why are you going to LA?
35, 36..
...38..
Whoops, I'd better start over.
1, 2..
[indistinct chattering]
What's going on?
He's trying to make a run
for it. Head him off!
Freeze, slime.
There's no way you're
getting out of here
after what you did.
What did he do?
He said that he's flying to LA
to get honey-roasted peanuts.
Oh, come on. Do you guys have to
know everything about my life?
(all)
Yes.
Alright, I'm going to Hollywood
to audition for a TV pilot
for a new
situation comedy.
- Alright.
- Joey, that's great.
See, this is exactly why I
didn't want to tell you guys.
I knew you'd get all excited.
Chances are I won't get it.
I'll have to come home and tell
you and you'll be disappointed
I'll be disappointed and..
Why am I going?
- Joey.
Hey, man, we're your family.
There's no pressure.
Now tell us, what's
this new show about?
Well, it stars Frankie Avalon
and Annette Funicello.
Annette Funicello?
I love her.
I've gotta meet her. Joey,
you gotta get this part.
But, hey,
no pressure.
Wow, this is so exciting.
Frankie and Annette.
Yeah, that's great.
Who are they?
They were the stars
of all those classic
beach party movies, remember?
- No.
Uh, Frankie had all these
hits, you know, like, uh
"Venus And DeDe Dinah."
Remember those?
- No.
Well, you remember Annette
she did all those
peanut butter commercials.
- Oh, yeah! I know who she is.
- That's right!
And Annette was one of
the original mouseketeer.
Joey, when you meet her, tell
her Danny Tanner says hello.
She'll remember me. I sent
her a fan letter back in 1968.
Danny, there's no way.
I'm telling you,
she'll remember me.
I-I wrote her
a seven-page letter
and I sprinkled it
with my favorite scent.
Lemon Pledge.
I'm talking about the part.
I'm probably not gonna get it.
Oh, Joey, stop
talking like that.
Now you got to start
thinking positive.
Alright now
picture it, okay?
You're the biggest
star in America.
"The Joey Gladstone Show"
has just gone to number one.
Now you come home after
a hard day at the studio
making 200, 3-400
million people laugh.
'Picture it, Joe.'
He's coming, he's coming.
(all)
Joey's coming, Joey's coming.
He-e-ere's Joey!
[upbeat music]
[all clapping]
Thank you, thank you.
Cut it out.
[all laughing]
[music continues]
- Joey! Joey! Joey!
The Laker girls.
Wow! Joey, are these
really Laker girls?
Well, at the Laker games,
they're Laker girls.
The rest of the time,
they're Joey girls.
Thanks, girls. Hit the showers.
Joey, you're the funniest
man in America.
No, I'm not.
[all laughing]
It's Joey Gladstone!
Excuse me, excuse me.
No pictures, please.
Okay, maybe just one.
Joey, I love you!
Security!
Thank you, Nelson.
Thank you, Manny.
[telephone rings]
Joey's room.
Oh, my God.
It's Julia Roberts.
Hello, pretty woman.
Dinner tonight in Paris?
Hey, why not?
I'm in the mood
for French fries.
[all laughing]
Uh, Joey, you're my hero,
in fact, you have
the greatest hair
I've ever seen.
I would like to
have hair like yours.
Why am I saying this?
Because it's my
fantasy, Jess.
Nelson.
Nelson, I'm a sensitive
guy, Nelson.
W-w-watch the hair,
Nelson. The hair.
You're as funny
as Bugs Bunny.
(Michelle)
'You're as funny
as Bugs Bunny.'
[chuckles]
I'm as funny as Bugs Bunny.
I gotta get to LA.
When the Laker girls
get out of the shower
tell them I'll
be right back.
- Bye, everybody.
- Have a good trip, Joey.
- Bye, Joey. Good luck.
- 'Have fun.'
Hey, what's going on?
Joey's going to
Hollywood. Say goodbye.
Sayonara.
Sayonara?
Michelle..
...did you call Tokyo?
Hai, daddy-san!
[theme music]
Michelle, from now on..
...if you want
to call Tokyo
you can make
a pretend call
on this pretend phone.
And I'll be happy to pay
the pretend bills, okay?
You got it, dude.
Here you go.
Is Joey back yet?
No, but I made him
a cake. Look at this.
"Congrats, Joey."
Well, that's very sweet. But
what if he doesn't get the part?
Very simple. I get rid of this.
"Rats, Joey." See.
Moshi-moshi, Mikko-san.
This is nuts.
I'm talking to myself.
Steph, dinner!
Uh, I think you
guys ought to know
that Stephanie is
not Stephanie anymore.
She decided to change her name.
Oh, Da-a-awn!
(Stephanie)
'Coming!'
Dawn?
It has a lovely ring
to it, don't you think?
What's the matter
with your real name?
Dad, no offense, but how can you
compare Stephanie with Dawn?
- I'm back!
- Hey.
- What happened?
- Did you get the part?
Well, I don't know yet.
I didn't hear from my agent.
How did the audition go?
Well, I don't want
to pat myself on the back
or toot my own horn, but..
[imitates a trumpet]
[telephone ringing]
Oh, that could
be my agent.
Hello, Eddie.
[ringing continues]
Eddie! Eddie!
- Hello, Eddie! Eddie, come in.
- 'Joey.'
That's Michelle's pretend phone.
Oh.
Hello, Eddie,
I can count to 100.
- 'One..'
- Michelle.
Here, give me
the phone. Thank you.
Eddie, what's up?
Uh-huh.
Sure.
Yeah, thanks for calling.
- What did he say, Joey?
- What happened?
- I got the part.
- Whoo!
[all cheering]
I'm going to be on a show
with Frankie and Annette.
We're all going to Hollywood.
You guys are gonna
see me shoot the pilot!
- Alright!
- Yes!
- Wow!
- Whoo! Whoo!
[instrumental music]
Joey, can I get your autograph?
Sorry, no autographs, please.
Oh, how soon they
forget the little people.
Alright, I'll sign your books.
Okay. Uh, what were
your names again?
[laughing]
Oh, my God,
it's Annette Funicello.
She looks just as
beautiful as she did on
"The Mickey Mouse Club."
That lady knows Mickey Mouse?
Give me my book back.
Excuse me, are you
Annette Funny Jell-O?
Something like that.
Hi, sweetheart.
Uh, excuse me.
Michelle, Ms. Funicello's
getting ready for her show.
You go back over there, honey.
You shouldn't be bothering her.
Hi, it's so nice
to meet you.
I've loved you ever since
the first time I saw you go
"Annette."
Well, you know,
actually we did it..
♪ Bum pum bum pum bum ♪
♪ Annette ♪♪
♪ Bum pum bum pum bum Danny ♪♪
- That's it. That's it.
- I mean, hi, I'm Danny Tanner.
Hi. Wait a minute.
Danny Tanner?
Didn't you write me
a fan letter in 1968
that smelled like Lemon Pledge?
Yes. That was me.
I knew you'd remember.
Well, it was the only time
a fan offered to clean my house.
Well, that offer still stands.
Wow, look how
star-struck Danny is.
He's practically
drooling over Annette.
Hey, gang, everybody
ready to rock and roll?
[screams]
It's Frankie.
Oh, Mr. Avalon, you are so cute.
Hi, I'm Jesse and this
is my husband Rebecca.
- Hi.
- Hey, how you doin', Frank?
Excuse me.
Listen, Frank, can
we speak mano a mano?
What can I do
for you, Rebecca?
Just out of curiosity
how do you keep your hair
so shiny and manageable?
Oh, well, you see, I always
condition with avocados.
Oh, me too, me too.
And once in a while I put
in a little mayonnaise.
No, no, no, you ought
to try a little bit
of lime juice and cilantro.
Oh, does that help
restore the pH balance?
No, but it makes
a great dip. Ha ha ha.
Frankie, Annette,
I'd like you to meet D.J.
Michelle and..
Dawn. Dawn Ariel Tanner.
Okay, places, please.
- Uh, see you guys. I got to go.
- Bye.
Wait a second, if I
could just trouble you
for one quick picture?
- Sure. No problem.
- 'Great.'
You just look through here
and press that red button.
Smile.
Great.
Hi, everybody,
and welcome to the taping
of the pilot episode of a brand
new show called "Surf's Up"
starring Frankie Avalon
and Annette Funicello.
[audience cheering]
And newcomer Joey Gladstone.
- Yay!
- Joey!
Go, Joey!
You can always tell where
the family is sitting.
And now, everybody, "Surf's Up!"
Go. Here we go.
In five, four, three, two..
[audience applauding]
Wow, Frankie,
isn't this wonderful?
We finally have our
own hangout at the beach.
Yeah, Annette, and now
we can entertain
a whole new
generation of surfers.
Yeah, if they'd just
come out of the water.
Huh, I can take care
of that. Watch this.
Shark!
[all screaming]
(Annette)
'Would everyone
like to hear a song?'
- Yeah!
- Hey, I got it.
How about one of those
great old love songs?
Yeah, they don't, they don't
write lyrics like this anymore.
Here's why.
[instrumental music]
♪ Well ♪
♪ Who put the bomp in
the bomp sh-bomp sh-bomp ♪
♪ Who put the ram in
the rama-lama ding-dong ♪
♪ Who put the bop in
the bop sh-bop sh-bop ♪
♪ Who put the dit in
the dit dit-dit dit-dit ♪
♪ Who was that man ♪
♪ I'd like to shake his hand ♪
♪ He made my baby
fall in love with me ♪
Come on,
everybody, sing!
♪ Who put the bop in
the bop sh-bop sh-bop ♪
♪ Who put the ram in
the rama-lama ding-dong ♪
♪ Who put the bop in
the bop sh-bop sh-bop ♪
♪ Who put the dit
in the dit-- ♪♪
Hey, beach buddies, surf's up!
(all)
Yeah!
Joey, are you okay?
Cut!
It's alright, Michelle.
I'm just acting.
Just checking!
Okay. Let's take it from
Joey's face in the sand.
Oh, great. I was hoping
we could take it from there.
Okay, here we go.
'In three, two..'
Way to go, Flip.
You just cleared out
all of our customers.
Oh, sorry to be such
a bummer, Frankie.
Here, check out this letter.
This'll get
you stoked.
It's from the beach boys.
They want you to be a part
of their Hawaii show.
Flip, did you
read this letter?
Well, most of it.
I had some help
with the big words.
We're going to Hawaii?
That means the big
kahuna surfs again.
Cowabunga!
Sweetheart, you're
grown up now.
Please don't
say cowabunga!
[all laughing]
You know,
if we go to Hawaii
who's going to run
the restaurant?
- Duh, I could do it.
- 'He can--'
Wait a minute.
Uh, oh, uh-uh, Annette?
Oh, you really..
I-I don't know if
we should trust him..
Bonjour, monsieur dude.
Welcome to Frankie
and Annette's.
May I suggest you scarf down
a totally radical burger?
Uh, but-but, Flip
don't you have to
deliver these letters?
Naw. I can just mail 'em.
I say we give
Flip a chance.
I mean, what could go wrong?
Right.
[sniffing]
Hey, do you guys
smell something burning?
Flip, you're
sitting on the grill.
Then that would explain
the searing pain.
Yo-o-ow!
Like, totally
radical rump roast.
Whew.
[instrumental music]
- Dawn?
- Yeah, dad?
I, uh, thought we
should have a little talk
before we go down to the
federal bureau of name changes
and legally
change your name.
Are you absolutely
sure you never
want to be
Stephanie again?
Absolutely.
The kids don't call me
Step-on-me anymore.
But what are you
gonna do when they start
making fun
of your new name?
How could they possibly make fun
a name as beautiful as Dawn?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe they could
call you Dawnald Duck
or they could say
Dawner and Blitzen.
or they could all crowd around
you and just start singing..
♪ Dawn da-da dawn
da-da dawn dawn dawn ♪
♪ Dawn da-da dawn
da-da dawn dawn dawn ♪
♪ Dawn da-da dawn
da-da dawn dawn dawn ♪
♪ Da-da dawn da-da
dawn dawn dawn ♪♪
- Yee-haw!
- Dad, dad.
Uh...now that
I think about it..
...I think I'll
stick with Stephanie.
Oh, good, I was hoping that
thought would dawn on you.
Sorry, I'm all dawn now.
Danny, quick, turn on the TV.
I just talked to my agent.
"Hollywood Insider" is doing
a segment on "Surf's Up."
We're gonna find out if
it's gonna be a new series.
Both Madonna and Andy Griffith
have denied this rumor.
Turning to television, our
network sources have confirmed
that the new comedy
series "Surf's Up"
starring Frankie Avalon,
Annette Funicello
'and newcomer Joey Gladstone'
will definitely be
on the fall schedule.
[all cheering]
However, "Hollywood Insider"
has the inside story.
Obviously, riding the coattails
of the success of "The Simpsons"
the network has decided
to change "Surf's Up"
from a half-hour sitcom
to a half-hour cartoon.
Frankie and Annette will
now be singing dolphins
and Joey Gladstone,
the surfing mailman
'will become
a surfing kangaroo.'
(all)
Oh-h-h.
'But Frankie, Annette and Joey'
'will be doing the voices
for the cartoon characters.'
- Alright.
- 'An exclusive interview..'
First we're happy, then
we're sad, then we're happy.
What's going on?
All my life I've
wanted to be a cartoon.
Now I am a cartoon.
I'm going to be the voice
of Flip, the surfing kangaroo.
There's only one problem.
I don't do a voice
of a surfing kangaroo.
Uh, it's simple, you do
that woodchuck character
so, so do that and then
you do a surfer character.
Put those both together,
add an Australian accent
and bada-bing you got yourself
a surfing kangaroo. Simple.
Well, let's see.
Good day, mate. I'm Flip,
the surfing kangaroo.
Ha ha ha.
[laughing]
What do you say, we put
another Ken on the barbie?
Is that surfboard made of wood?
I love cartoons!
This is great!
[imitates Popeye]
Huck-uck-uck-uck! Whoa!
[indistinct mumbling]
[imitating Bullwinkle]
Boy, look, rock
it's unbelievable
stuff, stuff, stuff.
[imitating Foghorn Leghorn]
Hold on, boy. Hold on..
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪