Hurry up!
I'm comin', Michelle.
[hiccups]
That was a big one.
Alright, stay cool, Michelle.
Now, the Katsopolis cure
for hiccups never, never fails.
Now, what you gotta do is
flap your arms like a chicken
and move your eyes like Groucho.
Actually, this has nothing
to do with the cure.
I was just tryin' to see if
you were dopey enough to do it.
Alright, now,
here's the real cure.
What you do is
take a sip of water.
Okay, now, now. Okay.
Now, what you gotta do
is say the magic words.
Have mercy.
See that?
[hiccups]
Alright, alright,
we'll go to the cure
recommended by the New England
Journal of Medicine.
Boo!
That wasn't very nice.
I'm telling daddy.
Oh, come on, Michelle.
I'm just tryin' to help.
Don't get me in trouble here.
It worked, didn't it?
[hiccup]
Dad!
[theme music]
♪ What ever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's
confusing me ♪
♪ With clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a place ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
everywhere you go ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪♪
Okay, chapter six. What do we
know about Jefferson?
He owns a cleaning store,
and he's married to Weezie.
Don't mind Kimmy. She has a
seat reserved in summer school.
So, Rick, are you
free this weekend?
I know D.J.'s free
this weekend.
Very subtle, Kimmy.
Well, uh, I don't have
any plans.
But hey, you know, they're
opening a new roller coaster
on Saturday night
at Thrill Mountain.
The Squirminator.
Well, that's this weekend
when we're both free.
Yeah, that's not obvious.
You know, I-I was thinking that
maybe you and I could--
Hey, you must be Rick
the rickmeister, rick-o-rama
the rickshaw man,
rikki tikki tavi.
Um, my annoying little sister
was just leaving.
No. Your adorable little sister
was just making
herself comfortable.
Uh...hey...wait a minute.
A moment, please.
Can we talk? Just a..
How...rude!
So, Rick, where were we?
You nutty teenagers
are always goofing around.
As if you didn't
want me in my own room.
Bye-bye.
Um, so, Rick, we were just
talking about Thrill Mountain.
Thrill Mountain?
I love Thrill Mountain.
Deej, remember the time
you threw up
on the Wild Weasel?
- No.
- How could you forget?
You were pigging out
on corn dogs
and they had to stop the ride
for 30 minutes to hose it down.
Well, it sounds like you're not
ready for the Squirminator.
I gotta go. I'll see you guys
in school tomorrow.
Bye, rickmonster, rickatoni,
rickory dickory dock.
Stephanie,
you ruined everything.
Rick was just
about to ask me out.
Maybe he'll
ask you out tomorrow.
Oh sure. By tomorrow,
he'll find someone
who can hold her corn dogs.
They'll fall in love
on the Squirminator
and I'll end up
desperate and alone.
You'll never be alone.
You'll always have me.
I don't want you.
You're always in my way.
I'm getting my own room.
You, little sister, are history.
Come on! The deejenizer
the dijon mustard..
- Hey, sweetheart.
- Hi, honey.
- How you doin'?
- Good.
How are my little
twinsters doing?
- Fine. What'd you get me?
- Just what you wanted.
Salt and vinegar
potato chips.
Oh, honey, is that
what I asked for?
Because I really have a craving
for garlic and cheddar chips.
Hmm.
Well, I had a feeling
you might change your mind
especially after the second time
you paged me at the market.
So, I got every chip..
every chip known to man.
It's the pregnancy variety pack.
Oh, honey,
you are so thoughtful.
You didn't happen to get
any with ridges, did you?
Ridges? W-what's the big deal
about ridges? It's like..
It's like a potato chip
that needs to be ironed.
Honey, those ridges help you
scoop up a lot more bean dip.
Oh no. The bean dip. I forgot.
Oh sweetie, you know what?
That's okay. It doesn't matter.
Uh, we have to set up for
our childbirth class right now.
You can shop for bean dip
after class is over.
Oh, goody.
Whoa! A million billion chips
and nobody in the kitchen?
Aw, nuts. Childproof.
You need to move all this
furniture back.
- Okay, see you guys.
- Have a good time.
You guys are welcome to stay
for childbirth class.
It's really interesting.
Well, we'd love to, Becky,
but darn our luck
we're stuck with these two
tickets to the Warriors' game.
Yeah, those are the brakes.
Let's roll, buddy.
Okay, pal.
Hi.
- Hi.
Guys, this is Lisa Green.
She teaches our
childbirth class.
Hi, Lisa.
I'm Danny Tanner,
your eager student.
Enjoy the game, Joey.
Hi, I'm Joey Gladstone.
Ex-Warriors' fan.
Nice meeting you both,
but in order to join our class
one of you
has to be pregnant.
Well, I have been retaining
an awful lot of water lately.
He's funny.
Actually, I'm just, uh,
taking the class
in case Jesse passes out
in the delivery room
and Becky needs a back up coach.
And I'll be there to back up
Danny when he passes out.
Well, okay. You're welcome
to stay and observe.
That's great, because I have
a lot of questions
about childbirth.
Like, uh, for instance, uh,
are you and your husband
planning any children?
Actually, I'm single.
[imitating Daffy Duck]
Well, what a coincidence.
So am I.
Daffy Duck.
No, he just spits when he talks.
It'll be a tough
choice for you.
Dad, Uncle Jesse, Joey.
May I please see
you guys in the kitchen?
Actually, I-I'm kinda busy,
honey. Is it really important?
Dad, this is my biggest
crisis this week.
Okay. We're coming. Excuse us.
Pull it open, Comet.
These are doggyproof, too.
Michelle..
Honey, did you take these
potato chips without asking?
I told you we would
get in trouble.
Excuse me, if I may
have your attention.
I'd like to make a very
important presentation
entitled, "My own room.
Together we can make it happen."
The first point I'd like to
make is that Stephanie--
- Don't listen to her!
- Thank you, Stephanie.
You've just illustrated
my first point.
"Interruptions."
I cannot talk on the phone
do my homework or entertain
my friends without her--
That's ridiculous!
I do not--
Steph, let's hear what
D.J. has to say
and then you'll get
your chance to interrupt.
That's all I ask.
Moving on to my next point.
"Two different worlds."
I go to high school.
Land of maturity.
Stephanie and Michelle
go to elementary school.
Tiny town.
Now, they share a school,
they should share a room.
I object!
I happen to be in fourth grade
and have nothing in common
with a kindergarten baby
like Michelle.
Who are you callin'
a baby, baby?
Children, please.
To bring up my next point.
"Strange but true facts."
Stephanie and Michelle
are the exact same ages
Stephanie and I were when
we started sharing a room.
- Isn't that amazing?
- That is amazing.
It's like that thing
where Kennedy
had a secretary named Lincoln
and Lincoln...had a secretary
named Kennedy.
What's amazing is you're able to
dress yourself every morning.
In conclusion, I've paid my dues
and I deserve my own room.
If there's any justice
in this world
then you'll set me free.
Gentlemen, I thank you.
Okay. Steph, do you
have a rebuttal?
No. But you should
hear my side of this.
Please don't make me
live with a four-year-old baby.
I'm not a baby.
I'm four and three quarters.
You're still a little shrimp.
Stop calling me names,
you cheesehead.
Okay, that's enough, you two.
Just give us guys a second
and we're gonna talk this over.
- Can I see chart number two--
- Get in here.
Okay. We've come to a decision.
Dad, that's so unfair.
You haven't even heard
what I have to say yet.
Sorry, just a habit.
It just so happens that,
uh, we agree with you.
- You do?
Yup. Starting this weekend
Michelle is gonna move in
with Stephanie
and D.J., you're gonna
get your own room.
Finally, my own room!
I have to go tell kimmy.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
Nice knowin' you, kid.
Hey, guys, Lisa needs
some help setting up.
Any volunteers?
Danny..
- Honey, I'm a little chilly.
- Hmmm?
Could you get my wool socks?
Well, sweetheart, all our winter
stuff is up in the crawl space.
You have to crawl up there
and get all dirty and--
Thank you, sweetheart.
No problem, darling.
Two more months. Just two.
Well, Michelle, I guess
it's just you and me.
I don't wanna live with you.
Why not? You look up to me.
That's because I'm short.
Michelle,
we're gonna be roommates.
This should be the happiest day
of your life.
Read my lips.
[blows raspberry]
Nobody wants to live with me.
Comet...you don't know
what it's like
to have everyone against you.
Well, D.J. and Michelle
don't want to live with me.
I'll just find a place
of my own.
Thanks for the offer
but it might be a little crowded
in your dog house.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Cleansing breath.
Okay, let's all take out
our focus objects.
Remember, this is what
the mothers will be
concentrating on during labor.
Here you go, babe.
Focus on the king.
Jess, when you give birth,
you focus on the king.
Alright.
- Better?
- Much.
Our last exercise
will be deep breathing
with our focus objects.
Okay, try it again.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Okay, keep going.
- Hi, there.
- Hi.
You now, uh, if I seem
a little advanced
it's because I've already been
through four births.
My three daughters
and...of course my own.
You know, seein' my
three girls bein' born
was the most beautiful
experience of my life.
Yeah, tell me about it. When
Fred and Wilma had Pebbles
I cried for a week.
[imitating Fred Flintstone]
Yabba dabba doo!
I love those voices you do.
You know, uh, I do a few
cartoon voices myself.
[high-pitched]
Hey, stop chasin' me,
you mean cat.
- That was really good.
- 'Thanks.'
Who was that?
That was Tom. You know,
little mouse from "Tom & Jerry."
Tom was the cat,
Jerry was the mouse
and neither one of 'em
ever talked.
Get a life.
Joey's right. I mean, Jerry
is a mouse that never talks
but what is fascinating is
that Mickey, he's also a mouse.
And he can just talk for hours
on any subject.
Yeah. Like, like Pluto,
for instance. I mean..
This guy's a dog, he wears a dog
collar, and lives in a dog house
yet Goofy, who's also a dog
drives a car, plays golf
and lives in a condo.
[imitating Goofy]
Hyuck! Hyuck!
That is exactly what
I was talking about.
You know what? You two are
actually perfect for each other.
I'm sorry I tried to pick you
up. I'll be right over here.
Lisa, would you like to go out
for pizza sometime?
I'd love to go out with you...
just as soon as class is over.
- Class is over!
- 'Snack time!'
Alright, here's a little snack.
Whoa! Watch out, guys,
it's feeding time.
Mmm. Mmm. Honey, you know what
I just got a craving for?
A nice slice of
seedless watermelon.
Doesn't that sound good?
- Yeah! Sounds great!
- Ooh!
See the watermelon's
out of season right now.
I'd probably have to go to
Mexico to get it.
Well, you've got a car.
Do you believe this, guys?
S-she'd send me to Mexico
to get her seedless watermelon.
I mean, do you believe this?
[murmuring]
Well, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
We shouldn't have to send them
they should be happy to go.
- Right! Yeah!
- Yeah!
Ho! Ho! Hold it, baby boomers.
Now, goin' to the market, and
stuff like that, that's fine.
I-I'll go for that,
but leavin' the country to get
seedless watermelon 'cause
you have some wacky craving..
that's where I draw the line.
(all)
Yeah.
Next thing you know she's gonna
want Swiss chocolate.
Ooh! That does sound good.
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah!
I'm not going to Switzerland.
Jess, you're missing the point.
It's not about where you go
it's about you guys
being there for us.
I mean, okay, so maybe
we're a little overemotional
and maybe we do get
a little demanding
but that's because our
hormones are running wild.
I mean, we're happy,
we're sad, we're hot
we're cold, we're huge!
And all we want are ridgy
potato chips and a nice slice
of juicy watermelon
with a side of Swiss chocolate.
Now, is that too much to ask?
I don't think so!
Now, sweetheart, no, no,
no, no. I-I'm sorry.
It's not too much to ask.
I know the babies depend on you
for everything
so you should be able to
depend on me. I'm sorry.
Oh, Jess, what's wrong with me?
I mean, you're so patient
and understanding
and I don't deserve you.
No, no, you do.
You deserve me.
She deserves me.
Right, guys?
Yeah, now you wanna
be my friend.
I'm gonna be normal again
someday, right?
I hope so.
May I help you?
Just measuring my new room.
Kimmy was right. There is
enough room for a hot tub.
Not so fast, sister.
This is still my room.
Michelle, you heard dad.
You're moving in with Stephanie
and I'm getting this room
all to myself.
You just stay in your room.
Stephanie moved out.
- No, she didn't.
- Yes, she did.
- No, she didn't.
- Yes, she did.
- No, she didn't.
- Yes, she did.
Why am I arguin'
with a four-year-old?
I'm four and three quarters!
You're right, she's gone.
Duh!
Well, where did she go?
Follow me.
Stephanie?
Did someone forget
how to knock?
Stephanie, what are you
doing in here?
I live here.
Isn't it cool?
I turned the sink
into a wet bar.
The tub into a waterbed.
And I'm thinking of turning
the toilet into a love seat.
Hi, girls.
Is there something
you wanna tell me?
Stephanie lives
in the potty now.
Oh, really?
Well, I-I love what you've
done with the place.
Thanks. I've got the cable guy
coming Tuesday.
Honey...why did you
move in here?
Because I've got
no place else to go.
D.J. and Michelle
don't wanna live with me.
Girls, I don't like
what I'm hearing.
Maybe we should just rethink
this idea of changing rooms.
No, no. No rethinking.
Your original thinking
was perfect.
Just give me a chance
to work this all out.
Okay, Deej. Heck, you've had
enough dad-talks over the years.
I think I've given you
enough wisdom
to handle this on your own.
Thanks, dad.
I won't even mention how
important it is
to treat each other
with respect.
I got it.
I'm sorry, these dad-talks
are hard to give up.
Why don't you say
we just skip the speech
go straight to the hugs
and we'll all start packing?
No, thank you.
Michelle!
Great start, Deej.
Dad would be proud.
Uh, would you mind closing
the door on your way out?
Steph, come on.
I've given you five years.
Give me five minutes.
Fine. Five minutes.
Ready? Go.
Steph, I know we can
work this out.
We always work things out.
Yeah. But this time,
it's personal.
Steph, we've been through
way too much together
to throw it away now.
We've laughed, we've cried.
We weren't just roommates.
We were soul mates.
Very touching. Four minutes.
Steph, if you stay in here,
this could ruin everything.
Is this some kinda revenge
because I've been
such a terrible sister?
No.
You've been a great sister.
That's why I don't
want you to leave.
If you go,
I'll miss everything.
Listening in on your
phone calls.
Hearing if you got a date
for the weekend.
Then reading your diary
to see how it went.
Steph, I'll be right
down the hall.
You can visit me
whenever you want.
My door is always open.
Unless it's closed.
And then you knock.
But it won't be the same.
No, not exactly the same.
You're gonna be the
big sister in the room.
Michelle's gonna look up to you
just like you looked up to me.
But one thing will never change
I'll always be your big sister
and I'll always love you.
I'll always love you too, Deej.
Well, now that we have
the old team back together
maybe between the two of us,
we can outsmart Michelle.
Piece of cake.
Michelle, can we come in?
(Michelle)
'Whose room is this?'
It's your room.
'Okay, come in.'
Welcome to my room.
Michelle, if you don't move
you're missing out
on a wonderful experience.
Living with Stephanie was
the happiest time of my life.
Then why don't you keep her?
Well, um, I've been
happy long enough.
It's time for you to be happy.
This is my gift to you.
Michelle...why don't you
wanna live with me?
Because you called me
a kindergarten baby.
I'm sorry.
What I meant to say was,
you're in kindergarten, baby!
Nice try.
Come on, if you live with me,
I'll give you a bag of cookies.
Okay, I'll live with you.
- Really?
- You're lucky I love cookies.
Well, Michelle,
now that we're living together
I only have one rule.
I'm the boss.
- No. I'm the boss.
- I'm the boss.
- Oh, this is beautiful.
You two were made
for each other.
- No, I am.
- I am.
- No. I'm the boss.
- I'm the boss.
Yes!
[theme music]