[theme music]
Alright, it's finally finished.
Michelle. My brand new studio.
What do you think?
Look at this, I got a 16-track
keyboards, the console, oh,
look at this drum machine.
You'll like this. Watch.
[instrumental music]
Yeah? Pretty cool, huh?
You've got
better toys than I do.
Alright, to show
my appreciation to your dad
for lettin' me
build a studio down here.
I got a great idea.
We'll do a song.
What song you want to sing?
Let's sing the "Spelling Song".
Alright, "Spelling Song" it is.
Here we go. One, two.
One, two, three, four.
♪ A B C D-- ♪♪
Cut!
Not that "Spelling Song".
The cool "Spelling Song".
♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♪
♪ Find out what
it means to me ♪
♪ Sock it to me,
sock it to me, sock it to me ♪
♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me,
sock it to me.. ♪
Ho, ho, ho, oh ho, hold it,
hold it, Michelle, hold it.
I'm sorry, but this song
is about sock it to me.
♪ Sock it to me
sock it to me sock it to me ♪
♪ Sock it to me
sock it to me sock it to me ♪
[laughing]
[theme music]
♪ Aah aah aah ♪
♪ Aah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability? ♪
♪ The milkman the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ When did I get
to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's
confusin' me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
that knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Kimmy, you've got to tell me.
This is a nightmare!
What's a nightmare?
Uh...this whole
savings and loan crisis.
Why are you hiding
behind the counter?
Oh, I-I wasn't hiding.
I'm, uh, cleaning
my cleaning products.
Oh, yeah. It's Friday.
Boy, Mr. T, you sure know
how to kick off a weekend!
- See ya.
- Hey, come back here, you.
Okay.
Spill it, Kimmy.
Why is everybody
talking about me
behind my back?
Because they don't
have the guts
to tell you to your face.
Well, got to go!
Get back here, you coward.
Kimmy, start talking.
Uh...I love what you've
done with your new room.
All you need now
is a poster of Patrick Swayze
on your ceiling.
[sighs]
Just kick back and hope
that the scotch tape gives out.
Kimmy, please. I'm desperate.
Look at this card
I got from Cathy Santoni.
"My thoughts are with you
during your mega crisis."
I can't believe it,
I'm having a mega crisis
and I don't know what it is!
Deej, sit down.
I guess it's better if you hear
this from your best friend.
The word that's
going around is..
...you're the worst
kisser in school.
I am not! Who said that?
Todd Mitchell.
Todd Mitchell?
I could kill him!
He walked me home from the
library. He tried to kiss me.
But I didn't want to
so I turned my cheek
and he slobbered
all over my ear.
Eew! He doggy-kissed you!
[knocking on door]
Come in. No, wait!
So, honey, how was school today?
Fine, Mr. T,
and thank you for caring.
Deej, you seemed
a little upset downstairs.
I just want you to remember that
you can talk
to me about anything.
Well, dad, there is
something I want to say to you.
Oh, great, great,
I'm right here, hon.
Kimmy and I want to be alone.
Fine. Great.
That's-that's a good idea.
What's important here is
we've we've opened up the door
for communication.
- Right, dad. Bye!
- Bye.
[sighing]
Damage control.
This bad kisser thing
could ruin
my social life forever.
Just how far
has this rumor gone?
Hard to say.
I heard it
from my algebra teacher.
Living on this side of the room
is going to be so cool.
I got the cool window, the cool
closet, and the cool mirror..
...to look at my cool self.
I'm cool, too. Look at this.
You're not hanging up
Barney the Bear in my room.
It's my room, too.
Yes, it is.
And I have the perfect
spot to hang Barney.
Right inside the closet
where he can hibernate
all winter.
Hey, is this a trick?
Michelle, bubby!
Baby!
Would I trick you?
Yes, you would,
and don't call me bubby.
Hi, girls.
Steph, did you happen
to hear D.J. mention anything
that might be bothering her?
Dad, I live with
a kindergarten kid now.
The only hot rumors I hear
are "Who put their mouth
on the water fountain?"
Daddy, could you
put Barney over my bed?
Aw, you bet I can, honey.
I'll tack him up right over
here where nobody can miss him.
[doing bear voice]
Ooh, careful, Danny, careful
Danny, careful, ooh!
Thank you, Danny.
That felt good!
Don't you think
Barney looks cool?
The coolest.
I know some tricks, too...bubby!
[instrumental music]
[knock on door]
D.J.?
[whistling]
Hi, daddy!
Michelle!
Don't scare daddy like that.
Daddy just got whiplash.
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm just, uh, I'm putting
away some laundry, honey.
But laundry day is Monday.
Yeah, well, I switched
it with dusting day
you know, just
to keep life exciting.
Okay.
Alright, observe very carefully
as I screw in
this light bulb.
Okay? Alright. Okay?
I only wish the twins
were already born.
They'd be so proud
of their dad.
Very cute. Now, come on,
this is very important to me.
When the red light is on,
it means I'm recording
and I'm not to be disturbed
for anything...whatsoever.
What if Godzilla attacks
like in those old
Japanese movies?
Rrrr-aaarr!
Rrrr-aaar!
Godzilla is attacking!
We must inform Jesse.
We can't.
The red light is on.
You're the mother of all idiots.
Your insults
have no effect on me.
Jess, this is a big moment.
I know. The first time
working in my new studio.
No, I'm talking about
our partnership.
You and I
were in the ad business
together for three years.
And now you're
committed to your music.
I'm going back
to my comedy full-time.
It's the end of an era.
I'll miss you, man!
Joey, Joey, please! Joseph!
Get a grip, okay?
We-we live in the same house.
We'll see each other,
now now run along upstairs.
The red light is on that means
I'm not to be disturbed.
Go, go, go, I love you.
I miss you. Go ahead. Go..
Okay, fine.
I can take a hint.
I have a very full
and busy life of my own.
I'll just go upstairs,
make some nachos.
Get ready
for a little "Yogi Bear".
Uh, Jess, there's
one little problem.
This doorknob came off
right in my hand.
That's impossible.
I installed it myself.
- Well, that explains it.
- Give me that.
It's stripped.
We're locked in here.
Well, we'll just yell for help.
Did you soundproof
this room yourself?
- Yeah.
- Then they'll hear us.
- Hey, Becky.
- 'Hey.'
- The guys downstairs?
- Yeah, oh, wait.
The red light's on
that means they're recording.
- 'Help!'
They're doing
the Beatles song, "Help".
Oh, man.
I could use some help myself.
D.J.'s having a mega crisis and
she won't talk to me about it.
Well, if she won't talk
to you how do you know
she's having a mega crisis?
Oh, well, I-I kind of
sort of saw this card
in her sock drawer when I was
putting away the laundry.
It's not Monday.
Okay, I was snooping.
But it's driving me nuts
that she won't talk to me.
I'll see you later, dad.
I'm going over to Kimmy's.
Uh, wait,
before you go, honey..
Look, uh..
I have this feeling
that you've got a problem
and you're not
sharing with me.
Dad, there's no problem.
Kimmy, do I have a problem?
Well, your dad
is kind of nosy.
Look, dad, I'm fine, really.
I got to run. Bye.
Bye.
Did you see that?
She lied right to my face.
Well, I hate to get technical
but you lied, too.
You never mentioned your
little raid on her sock drawer.
[sighing]
What's happening to me and D.J.?
We used to be so close.
Becky, I feel like
I'm losing my little girl.
[melancholic music]
Kimmy, we need a plan.
We have to get people
to stop saying I'm a bad kisser.
I got it, just make out
with every guy at school
until they change their mind.
Deej, wait a second, um..
Look, I was just thinking.
You and I hardly have
any time to hang out anymore.
What do you say
we, uh, hang out tonight?
Dad, I can't
just hang out with you.
Kimmy and I have plans.
To do what?
To hang out.
Oh, come on, why don't
you hang out with your dad?
You know, it would be
totally a blast.
We'd go bowling.
Phew..
Gee, Mr. T.,
that sounds nifty!
Are Wally and the Beav
coming, too?
Oops. One step too far.
Later, Deej.
Dad, I haven't been bowling
since my 7th birthday.
Yeah, and you loved it.
Okay, dad, if it means that
much to you, let's go bowling.
That's my girl,
just let me get my ball
my shoes, my corn protectors
and we're out of here.
I can't take it!
That thing
keeps looking at me!
That's because he likes you.
Michelle, here's a fun idea.
How would you like to be
in the Big Girls' Club?
I'm a big girl.
I should be in that club.
You're going to love it.
It's got a secret song
and everything.
Ooh! How does it go?
Um.
♪ I'm a Big Girl ♪
♪ You're a Big Girl ♪
♪ Ya dee a dee
ya dee ya dee ya ♪♪
I like the little dance.
Now, all we do
to get in the Big Girls' Club
is get rid of
all our baby stuff.
Uh-oh.
You mean Barney, don't you?
There's nothing
more babyish than a toy bear.
Well...okay.
Nice knowing you, Barney.
I know this is painful
so I'll get rid
of Barney for you.
And I'll get rid
of Mr. Bear for you.
Freeze!
Drop the bear!
Now, step away slowly.
You said no toy bears
in the Big Girls' Club.
But Mr. Bear is not a toy.
He's a member of the family.
So is Barney.
He keeps the monsters away.
There are no monsters in here.
See? He's doing a good job.
[sighing]
Okay, the bears stay.
Are we still
in the Big Girls' Club?
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Yay!
♪ I'm a Big Girl
you're a Big Girl ♪
♪ Ya dee ya dee
ya dee ya dee ya ♪♪
I can't hear you.
♪ I'm a Big Girl ♪
♪ You're a Big Girl ♪
♪ Ya dee ya dee
ya dee ya dee ya ♪♪
One more time!
♪ I'm a Big Girl ♪
♪ You're a Big Girl ♪
♪ Ya dee ya dee
ya dee ya dee ya ♪♪
You know, if we
get a running start
and crash into that door
we'll break it right down.
That'll never work.
It will if we hit it
at the exact same time.
That door will pop right open.
Uh, we got no choice.
We got to
both do it together and it's
got to be precise,
alright, so I'll count.
- Alright.
- We'll go on three, you ready?
- Mm-hm.
- One, two, three. Go!
- Hey, the light.
- Ow!
What happened to you?
You left the red light on.
No wonder nobody's
come downstairs to get us.
It's a good thing I caught that.
Guys, lunch is ready.
Boy, I thought that red light
would never go off.
You guys are really
working hard.
Jess, I am very, very,
very proud of you.
Ow!
[instrumental music]
Oh, Deej, isn't this fantastic?
You're doing great.
Dad, all I did was write
our names on the score sheet.
Well, since
the last time you bowled
your handwriting
has really improved.
- Okay, dad, you're up.
- Right.
Now, sweetheart
what I want you to know is
the most important
part of bowling
is getting a good rhythm going.
Okay, first you do that..
...then..
...push off, arm back
hop and swoop!
Go, baby, go, baby, go, baby!
(Danny)
'Strike!'
Alright! The Dan man
still has the touch.
Dad, we're in public.
Oh. You know what?
This is just great, why don't we
join a father-daughter league,
huh?
Something to think about..
...very carefully.
Alright, remember,
push off, arm back
hop and swoop!
Go, baby, go, baby,
go, baby, go!
(Danny)
'No, baby, no, baby.'
Oh, hey, we'll get them
on the next ball, honey.
Don't worry about it.
That's why I'm here.
To help you with your problems.
Whether they be
in bowling, at home..
...or, uh, at school.
Any of those pertain to you?
Dad, for
the millionth time, I'm fine.
Second shot.
Okay, now, remember, Deej.
I know,
stop, drop, and roll.
No, that's what you do
in case of a fire.
It might work here,
though. Go ahead.
Go, baby,
go, baby, go, baby!
Alright! One big one!
High five. Low five.
On the side.
- Dad, no one does that anymore.
- Oh. Sorry.
I just got carried away with all
this father-daughter fun.
Hey, Deej!
The pins are that way, Mr. T.
What a nice surprise.
D.J., we have to get
to the mall right away.
Dad, aren't you up?
Oh. Right.
Guess who's down
at the food court
spreading more rumors
about you?
Todd Mitchell.
We have to put
a stop to this.
Hey, dad, you know, this has
really been fun a lot of fun
but do you mind if I go down
to the mall with Kimmy?
Right now?
Deej, we're only
in the second frame.
I paid for 10.
Well, one of my friends
really needs me.
Thanks for understanding.
You're the best, dad.
I won't be out too late.
This is so much fun.
Let's join that
father-daughter league.
You bet, sweetheart.
- Hey, dad?
- Alright, D.J., you're back!
Can I borrow 10 bucks?
Oh, sure.
Here you go.
Thanks. High five.
Daddy, daddy, I got a strike!
That's my girl!
I love you, daddy.
[instrumental music]
[exhales]
Hi, dad.
Hi, Deej.
Was, uh, everything
alright at the mall?
Yeah, fine.
Uh...Deej,
don't you think
we should talk?
Okay. So how'd you bowl?
No, not about that.
I-I mean,
what's going on with you?
I know you're having
some kind of problem.
Dad, give me a break.
It's no big deal.
Since when
is a mega crisis nothing?
Mega crisis?
Where did you get that?
Oh, I...I don't know.
It just it kinda popped
into my head just now.
You mean you just popped
into my sock drawer
and went through
my personal property!
- How could you do that?
- Deej, it was an accident.
I was putting away your laundry.
It's not Monday.
You were spying on me,
and you know it!
What was I supposed to do?
You wouldn't even talk to me.
Maybe it was none
of your business.
What's next?
Are you going to bug my phone?
Hey, I don't like
that tone, young lady.
Well, I don't like you
invading my privacy.
I'm your father. I'll invade
Normandy if I want to!
Look, just stay out
of my sock drawer
and stay out of my life!
You get back here
right now, D.J.!
I can't wait
to get out of this house.
Hold it right there. I'm not
through talking to you yet.
Well, I'm through listening.
See? You don't even knock!
You have no respect
for my personal space.
Don't you dare
tell me about respect.
You're yelling at me
and slamming doors.
What happened
to my sweet little girl?
Don't you get it?
I am not your
little girl anymore.
Oh.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Dad...I don't mean
to hurt your feelings.
I just meant
that I'm growing up.
I don't need to come to you
with every little problem.
Why not?
You used to tell me everything.
That's when I was a kid.
When you were my age, did you go
tell your parents everything?
No. But they were old.
They were...my age.
Look, dad, if there's
some serious problem
that I can't handle
I'm gonna come to you.
Just like I always did.
And I'll be here for you, Deej.
I know you will, dad.
I love you.
I love you, too.
[Danny sniffling]
You know, I'm sorry.
I should have never
read that card.
Besides, switching laundry day
threw off my whole
cleaning schedule.
It's okay.
So do you really want to know
about my "mega crisis"?
Hey, I don't want to pry.
I'm dying to know.
Well, see I got this rep
as the worst kisser
in the school.
Oh, thank God!
Dad, that is not a good thing.
Oh, right.
That's bad. Right.
You see, I never even
kissed this guy
but he started
spreading this ugly rumor
so Kimmy and I
tracked him down at the mall.
Kimmy got him in a headlock
and I threatened him
with a squirt bottle of mustard
until he told
everybody the truth.
[laughing]
Well, he did the right thing.
You know, those
stubborn mustard stains
are murder to get out.
Deej...I know you're
kind of busy right now
but...wouldn't it be nice
if we could both
set aside some time
just to hang out
with each other once in a while?
Sure, dad.
Let's go get
some frozen yogurt. My treat.
Do you mind if I drive?
I'm gonna get
my learner's permit
in a couple of months.
Oh, man, it never ends.
Tell you what, I'll drive.
You can work the radio.
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
[theme music]