[theme music]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
♪ Aaah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paperboy evening TV ♪
♪ When did I get
to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ And a bird that
knows your tune ♪
♪ And that little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
♪ Everywhere.. ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
♪ Everywhere.. ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Chity chi bob botta ♪♪
[instrumental music]
- Good morning.
- Hey, good morning.
- Good morning.
- You guys missed breakfast.
Oh, I'm sorry. I was up
all night with this belly.
You guys ever tried to sleep
with a watermelon
in your pajamas?
Yeah, once.
Ah, it was a pretty
rough night for me, too.
What are you talking about?
You were sleeping like a baby
all cuddled up
with your blankie.
You have a blankie?
How adorable.
It's not a blankie.
It's a blanket.
Alright, it's Mr. Blanket.
Beck, look,
I-I-I'm sorry you can't sleep.
I feel bad for, I mean, I wish I
could carry those twins for you.
Oh, gee, Jess, you're really
going out on a limb there.
No, I mean it, I'd like to know
how it feels to be pregnant.
Good.
I'll arrange it.
What does she mean by,
"Good. I'll arrange it?"
I don't know, but
medical science is doing
some pretty darn
amazing things nowadays.
Becky, wait up. Becky!
Hey, dad, don't forget I'll be
home late after school today.
I'm gonna meet Eddie Johnson,
my adopted grandparent
at the nursing home.
I'm really proud
of you, Deej.
Volunteering to spend some
of your free time every week
visiting a senior citizen,
that's great.
Well, I'm kind of nervous
about meeting Eddie.
I mean, what am I
gonna talk to him about?
He's 75 years old.
Well, you talk to him
about his life.
He's been through
the Great Depression
two World Wars
five Stooges.
Ask him how he felt
the first time he saw Curly
use that eye-gouge deflector.
Oh, why you..
Ahh.
- Nyah.
Thanks. You've
been a big help.
Oh, come on, Deej.
Eddie's gonna like you a lot.
You're terrific girl and you're
doin' a wonderful thing.
You make me realize
that there's a lot of hope
for the younger generation.
Hey, Deej, guess how many
corn dogs I can fit in my mouth?
Six. Eight if I
removed the sticks.
Then again,
hope might be too strong a word.
Bye, dad. Bye, Joey.
(Joey)
'Bye, girls.'
Okay, ready to jump, Comet?
One, two..
Time out. Why can't
Comet jump over you?
Because I'm the trainer
and you're the thing
he jumps over.
Okay. Just asking.
Okay, ready, Comet?
One, two three, jump!
If you want to see tricks,
you should see my dog Coco.
Drinking from the toilet
is not a trick.
It is when she does it
through a straw.
Coco's the smartest dog
on the block.
Oh, yeah?
Why don't we invite
all the dogs on the block
to come over after school
to do their best trick.
Then, we'll see
whose dog's the smartest.
You're on. I know Coco's
smarter than Comet.
Kimmy, you're not
even smarter than Comet.
[instrumental music]
Okay, ol' timer,
what's the name of this game?
Gin.
That's the name.
That's $24000 you owe me.
Just put it on account.
Yeah, on account
of you got no money!
Eddie, you have a visitor.
Hi, Mr. Johnson.
I'm D.J. Tanner from the
adopt a grandparent program.
- I'm here to visit you.
- Well, let's see.
Yeah. I got a little time
before "Love Connection" starts.
So go ahead,
start visitin'.
- So, Eddie..
- So, D.J..
What was
the Great Depression like?
How does it sound?
Depressing?
Good answer.
'Yeah.'
Well, you know, you smile
just like my little girl Gloria.
- Really?
- Yeah.
She's all grown up now
living in Florida.
I haven't seen her since..
Hey, wait a minute.
What are we doing here?
We're supposed
to be having fun.
You know how to play
bumper pool?
- No.
- Me, neither.
Grab yourself
a cue over there.
We'll learn together.
Comet, you remember what to do?
[barking]
Michelle, do you
remember what to do?
Duh!
Okay, ready to jump, Comet?
Jump!
Ray to ro, Romet. Rood roy.
Good dog, Comet.
Here's your treat.
Good girl, Michelle.
Here's your treat.
Hey, this is a liver snap.
Sorry. I gave Comet your cookie.
What a rip-off.
Come on, Comet.
Jess, come on.
Come on.
You said you wanted to know what
it's like to be pregnant.
Now get down here.
[laughing]
Ahh.
- You done?
- Not yet.
[laughing]
Okay, now I'm done.
[laughing]
I'm not wearing this thing.
It's gotta weigh 25 pounds.
Wait a minute.
So does this thing
and I went through a lot of
trouble to get that sympathy pad
for my child birth coach.
And if you really wanted
to know what I was going through
you would wear it for
more than five minutes..
...unless of course..
...you're not man
enough to be pregnant.
I'm as much man as you are.
Oh, yeah? Fine.
I'll make you a little bet.
Since we've been arguing over
wallpaper for the nursery
I'll bet you, that can't
last one day in that pad
and if I win, I get
to put up my choice.
Fun at the circus.
You're on, and when I win,
we'll put up my choice.
Elvis. The wallpaper.
You know, Jess..
...you can talk the talk
but can you walk the walk?
Yes, Eddie! That is
three games in a row.
Okay, okay. So that's
$24000 I owe you.
Get it from him.
Eddie, I'll see you next week.
I have to get home.
My little sisters are
having this dog show
and I promised
I'd be the judge.
Oh, boy, would I love
to go to a dog show.
I mean, a man who loves
dogs as much as me
that would just
about make my day.
Would you like
to go to the dog show?
Oh, if you insist.
Oh, great. Do we need to get
permission for you to leave?
What you think I gotta ask
to, just to get out this door?
I've done whatever
I want all my life
except for those
41 years I was married.
- Great. Let's go.
- Okay..
Let me just tell my friend
I'm steppin' out.
Hey, I'm gettin'
out of here, you old goat.
I'm going to a dog show.
That little girl isn't allowed
to take you out of here.
What if you have
one of your spells out there?
I'm not gonna have
any of my spells.
Now, just, here.
Hold on to this candy bar.
- I'm not allowed to eat candy.
- I know that.
Just hold on to it.
Uh, nurse, Ferguson's over there
trying to sneak a candy bar.
Go on over there and nail him.
Mr. Ferguson.
- Shall we?
- I'd be delighted.
Follow me, Eddie.
The dog show's in the backyard.
Eddie, this is my Uncle Jesse.
How you doin', Eddie?
Oh, boy, a pregnant man.
I gotta get out more often.
No, no, no. No, see, Eddie,
I'm not really pregnant, see.
I'm, uh, I-I have this bet
with my-my pregnant wife
that she bet, I can't
wear this for 24 hours.
Let me tell you something
it's almost been two hours
and I feel great.
Except of course,
my-my back hurts
my ankles are
beginning to swell
and I think
I'm retaining water.
[laughing]
Oh, good, Deej,
you're here.
We're ready
to start the dog show.
Eddie, this is Joey.
Well, Joey, what branch
of the service are you in?
Actually, I'm Ranger Joe
from the Enchanted Forest.
Hey, let's just
get goin', huh?
You do have
that special glow.
Hey, Eddie, you can help me
judge the dog show.
Eddie, are you coming?
What? Oh, yeah.
Come on, Gloria,
you got to hurry.
You're gonna be
late for school.
What are you
talking about?
Huh?
Well, you just
called me Gloria. I'm D.J.
Hey...I know who you are.
Come on, D.J., we got
to get to that dog show.
- 'Hi.'
- Hey.
Well, I picked up
first prize for the dog show.
A pooper scooper.
So, uh, how's your bet
with Becky coming?
It's going good.
Just gonna take
this off a while
because my back is
killing me.
Yeah, but, Jess,
that would be cheating.
Don't be such
a goody-goody.
I'm not cheating
because of me.
I'm doing it for guys
across the whole country
who shoot off their mouths
and have to suffer for it.
Here, you-you watch
the kitchen door.
- I'll watch the front door.
- Got you.
You know, I know us men are
cheated out of experiencing
the miracle of birth,
but...who cares?
Ohh.
I bet I could take the weights
out of that and put feathers in
Becky would never
know the difference.
Ah, my neck is killing me.
Thanks, Danny.
Ah, can you get my back?
Hey, who's watching
the kitchen door?
I am.
- Then who's--
- Take a wild guess.
Hi, Beck.
Thanks a lot.
She didn't come
through my door.
Beck, I'm sorry. I just-I just
taking a little break.
Here look I'm strapping
this puppy right back on.
Oh, no, no, no.
That's not how it works,
buddy boy.
I can't unstrap this puppy.
You lost.
I get to pick the wallpaper.
Fun at the circus.
That nursery is gonna
be full of clowns
all laughing at you.
Alright, alright. You win.
I admit it, you babes
are pretty tough
to carry that around
for nine months.
Aw, well, I know
I complain sometimes
but the truth is,
it's worth it.
Carrying our twins
has been..
...the most wonderful
experience of my life.
You're incredible.
How does a total
body massage sound?
Oh, like heaven.
Good, 'cause I could
really use one.
[barking]
Okay, guys,
when we win first place
there will be something
extra in each of your bowls.
It better not
be dog food.
Okay, next up.
You've seen him at all
the local fire hydrants.
You've even chased him
off your own lawn.
Now, here he is in person.
Give it up for Sparky!
[barking]
Thanks, Ranger Joe.
Sparky will now do
his funny walk.
I give him four stars.
That little wiener Sparky
is going to be tough to beat.
I wonder why Kimmy didn't
show up with Coco?
'Cause her dog's a chicken.
Hey, I made a joke.
[laughing]
Okay now, it's time
for our last contestant.
He's a Pisces,
he loves windsurfing
and rubber pork chops.
Please say hello
to the amazing Comet!
And the amazing thing
he jumps over.
[barking]
And now, Comet will fly
through the air
over my little sister,
and land on the other side.
Okay, on your mark,
get set--
Sorry, I'm late!
We've gotta do this fast.
I've gotta get Coco back
on my mother's lap
before she wakes up.
Okay, Comet, go!
[instrumental music]
Come on, Comet,
do your stuff.
Comet, like this.
Oh, that was an excellent
jump, sweetheart.
I did my job.
Where's my cookie?
And now, for your
listening pleasure
Coco Gibbler
will accompany me
in "Polly Wolly Doodle
All The Day."
♪ Oh I went down south
for to see my sal ♪♪
Take it, Coco!
I think Comet and Coco
are in love.
If they get married,
that would make us in-laws.
Comet, think about this.
Sure, she's all fluffed up
and groomed now
but how's she going
to look in the morning?
Okay, the decision
of the judges is unanimous.
Eddie.
And the winner is
the dog with
the funny walk, Sparky!
We won!
Alright, young man
here is your prize.
A pooper scooper?
Haven't you ever heard
of a trophy?
(Danny)
'Why don't I show you how good
that pooper scooper works?'
'Teddy, why don't you give
it a try right over here?'
Hi, I'm Nurse Thomas
from the Golden Gate
Nursing Home.
Um, D.J., Eddie was not
allowed to leave the home
without being signed out
by a family member.
He never told me that.
Where is Eddie?
He was here a minute ago.
He's probably in the house.
- Is Eddie okay?
- I'm afraid not.
Come on.
Eddie?
Here you are.
You cleaned up your room
real nice, Gloria.
Gloria?
You're doing it again.
Now, you be nice or I'm going
to let you watch "Howdy Doody."
"Howdy Doody?"
That was on before I was born.
Eddie, why are
you doing this?
Doing what?
You just called me Gloria
and said I couldn't
watch "Howdy Doody."
I did? Oh, I was just
playing around, D.J.
Eddie, there's a nurse here
looking for you
and I think
we're both in trouble.
Why didn't you tell me
you weren't supposed to leave?
So I snuck out
and had a good time.
Now, what's the big deal?
The big deal is you're not
allowed out without permission.
Come on, D.J.,
you worry too much.
- Everything's fine.
- Everything's not fine.
I want to be your friend
but friends need to tell
each other the truth.
You want the truth?
Most of the time, I'm fine
but every now
and then they say that
my mind sort of drifts off.
But...I always
find my way back.
Are you gonna be alright?
Hey, come on,
Eddie Johnson's a fighter.
He's in here.
- Eddie, not good.
- Don't shoot.
I'll go peacefully.
Hey.
I'm really sorry
if I caused you all this trouble
and if you don't come
to visit me anymore..
...I'll understand.
But I got to tell you
this has been one
of the best days
I've had in a long time.
I had a great time, too.
Okay, let's go back.
Bye.
Dad..
...I was talking to Eddie
and he didn't know who I was.
Oh, sweetheart, the nurse told
me that Eddie is showing
the early signs
of Alzheimer's disease.
It affects his memory
and sometimes he doesn't know
where he is or what he's doing.
Is he gonna get better?
Well, the truth is, uh
if he has Alzheimer's,
he's gonna get worse.
And there's no cure?
Not yet.
I can't believe this.
I really liked Eddie.
What am I supposed to do,
just keep going back there
and watch him
get worse and worse?
I know. I know.
This is not
an easy thing to do.
Why did I become a volunteer?
Why did you?
Well, 'cause
I wanted to help people.
Well, I think you know
the best way to help somebody
is by being
their friend.
Did you see Eddie
at the dog show laughing today?
He just said today was
one of his best days
he's had in a long time.
That's all thanks
to you, Deej.
You can do a lot
for him just by..
...brightening up his day and..
...giving him something
to look forward to.
I'll be right back, dad.
We gotta start taking
field trips to this house.
In one afternoon
I saw a dog show,
a man in a ranger suit
and a pregnant man.
Eddie, you need a nap.
Eddie, wait.
Um, I wanted
to ask you something.
Would you stay for dinner
with me and my family?
Actually, we'd love
to have you both.
Well, I need
to get back to work
but Eddie can stay
if he wants.
I couldn't impose
but just out of curiosity,
what are you having?
- Lasagna.
- I'll impose for lasagna.
- Goodbye. Behave.
- Bye-bye.
Would you like
to help me set the table?
I'd be delighted.
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
[theme music]
♪ Chity chi bob botta ♪♪