[instrumental music]
What are you doing?
Waiting for Jeremy to call.
That's it, I don't care
how cute his dimples are
or how bad I need
a date for Friday.
I wait for no man
for more than
an hour and a half.
I'm pathetic.
[phone rings]
Hello.
Hi, Jeremy, you're late.
Is that Jeremy?
Hey, Mr. Dimples,
D.J. waits for no man!
Michelle.
He sounded cute.
Next time,
give the guy a break.
[theme music]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
♪ Aaah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paperboy evenin' TV ♪
♪ When did I
get to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you ever seen ♪
♪ And a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ And that little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere.. ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere.. ♪
♪ There's a face
of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost
out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Doo be doo ba ba da ♪♪
[murmuring]
A little..
Howdy-ho, Jess.
Oh, howdy-ho,
Ranger Joe.
Hey, don't I get a howdy-ho,
Mr. Woodchuck?"
Oh, the joys of living
with a kiddie show host.
Have a good show today, Joe
Say, something looks delicious.
I'm making beef stew.
I was talking
about the spoon.
Is it made of..
...wood?
Get out of my face or it's
gonna be Woodchuck stew, okay?
Well, aren't we Mr. Grumpy Rump?
Back off, bucky.
Make me, mousse-hair.
You want to take this outside?
I'm arguing
with a puppet here.
And you're losing.
[Woodchuck laughing]
Okay, dad, you thought it over.
Can I do it?
Please, please, please.
Guys, tell him
to let me do it.
Oh, come on, Danny, what's
the big deal? Let her do it.
Do what?
Steph's teacher thinks
she might have a career
as a professional dancer.
There's only one
thing's stopping me
from being the happiest
I've been in my whole life.
Of all people.
Steph, this is a big commitment
you're talking about.
It means taking special classes
before and after school
and on weekends.
Earlier bedtimes and less TV.
I don't care what it takes.
I'll do anything.
Oh, come on, Danny,
the kid's got a dream.
If I'd have been that focused
on my music in the 70s
who knows what
would've happened?
Yeah, might've been you singing
Macho Man in that headdress.
I would not have been
in the Village People.
And if I were, I would've
been the construction guy.
You know, come to think of it
when I was Steph's age
all I ever dreamed
about was winning
an Olympic gold medal
in the high jump.
To this day, I sometimes wonder,
if I had given it my all
would I have made it?
- No.
Dad, do you want me to go
through my whole life wondering
if I would've made it?
Whoa. Good guilt.
Dad, I promise
I won't let you down.
Please let me do it.
Please, please, please.
Okay, honey, if this
is what you really want.
I won't be like my dad
was when he refused
to let me put a high-jump
pit in the living room.
This is your dream, sweetie.
You go for it.
Thanks, dad! Thanks, guys.
Okay, now, you go
out there and you be
the best darn
high jumper you can be.
Dad, I'm a dancer.
That's even better.
[instrumental music]
Okay, Michelle,
I'll stuff the envelop
and you put the stamp on it.
Ew, gross!
Don't you have
some chocolate stamps?
Becky, there's no way
you're gonna get Jesse
to go to your
baby shower.
You'd have to
club him over the head
tie him in a sack
and drag him there.
Joey, this is the 90s.
Men are much more open-minded
about these things.
Now, D.J., don't you
think your Uncle Jesse
would like to go
to his own baby shower?
Sure. If you club him,
sack him and drag him.
Nah, I can't club him
but I can trick him.
That's what I'll do,
I'll make a co-ed baby shower
and I'll invite
all of his buddies.
But I'll tell him that
it's a regular party
and then, when he shows up
he'll just have to go along
with the whole thing.
Now, we're all gonna
keep this a secret, right?
- Right.
Right.
Oh, no. She's never kept
a secret in her life.
Uh-huh. You don't know
when I put on your makeup.
Oops.
Hey. What's going on?
Nothing, Uncle Jesse.
Like I said,
what's going on?
We don't have a secret,
right, Aunt Becky?
Well...okay, sweetheart.
You caught me.
I wanted to have a party.
You know, one big,
final, monster blowout
before we become parents.
Oh, really? Oh, that's a good
idea. What can I do?
Ah, nothing, nothing at all.
I'll take care of everything and
all you have to do is show up.
How does that sound?
Sounds good to me.
What sounds good to you?
Nothing.
I don't want to miss this party.
Now, that's how
you keep a secret.
Oh, yeah.
[laughing]
Oh, Michelle, my darling.
I have a surprise for you.
Whoa, baby!
Not so fast!
You little sugar freak. Alright.
Now, Michelle,
while I make this triple-dip..
...double-fudge..
...whipped cream sundae
with a cherry on top.
Just out of curiosity,
is there some kind of, uh..
I don't know, secret about this,
uh, party Becky's throwing?
I can't tell you.
- You missed a spot.
- Thank you.
Well, Michelle,
you know, I..
...I sure would love
to share this..
...ice-cream sundae with you.
I'd sure love that, too.
Mm...well, then let's talk
about that secret, shall we?
What do I do?
Well, you can start
by holding this spoon.
While I put on these
chocolate sprinkles.
Chocolate sprinkles!
Mm-hmm.
And your favorite and mine..
...the cherry.
The party is a baby shower.
Now drop that cherry!
Uh-hah! A baby shower.
It's worse than I thought.
Thanks, Michelle.
You're welcome. Is there
anything else you want to know?
Nah, there's nothing else
I want to know.
I hate to spoil your dinner.
Let me have a bite.
Hey, Steph, do you wanna
help put up decorations
for Aunt Becky's baby shower?
I wish I could, but I've gotta
get to my dress rehearsal.
You know,
I have to give you credit.
Ever since you started
taking these dance classes
all I've seen you do
is eat, sleep, and dance.
If I had your discipline
and dedication..
...I'd have no life.
Comet, I have a life.
I have friends.
Who I never see anymore.
'And I have my family.'
Who I never see anymore.
But I have eight hours
free every night.
Of course, that's
when I'm sleeping.
Who am I kidding?
I have no life.
[barks]
You're right, Comet.
I'm going to
tell dad I quit.
You guys are gonna
love these shower games.
We have Guess The Number
of Diaper Pins.
(in unison)
Ooh!
Name That Baby Food.
(in unison)
Ahh!
And the always popular
Draw the Baby on
a Paper Plate on Your Head.
I feel so much better about
giving away those 49er tickets.
[chuckling]
(Jesse)
'Hey, Beck, where are ya?'
Um, I'm up here, sweetheart.
Oh, there you are.
Hey, Beck, are you sure
there's nothing I can do
for this big, monster,
blowout party you're throwing?
Nope, everything's
taken care of.
Everything's taken ca..
Isn't she a jewel?
The way she babies me
and showers me with love.
[Jesse and Becky chuckling]
Well, sweetheart, uh,
why don't you go to the movies?
And by the time you get back,
we'll be ready to rock.
Here's ten bucks.
And she even
gives me the money.
Can you believe this?
Alright, I can't wait.
This gonna be the biggest,
baddest blowout
this block has ever seen.
Shake, rattle, and roll.
Well, he got
the rattle part right.
Boy, Deej, I'm starting to feel
a little guilty about this.
(Jesse)
'Love you, sweetheart!'
You should've
just clubbed him.
Uh, dad, can I talk to you
about this whole dance thing?
Yeah. I wanna talk to you too.
Wait until you see
your costume for the recital.
It's right here.
Okay.
What do you think?
It...it looks great.
Yeah. I stayed up all night
sewing on the extra sequins.
I felt like Liberace's dad.
Steph, do you know
your teacher thinks
you're the most promising
student in her class?
Oh, I might not have
made it as a high jumper but
you...you could wind up as..
...as a star on Broadway.
♪ She's dancin' ♪
[Jesse grunts]
♪ She's dancin' ♪
♪ Just looking at her ♪
♪ You can tell
she's a winner ♪
♪ She's Stephanie Tanner ♪
♪ She's one ball of glamor ♪
♪ That's me ♪
[instrumental music]
♪ I'm your Broadway baby
I'm the one ♪
♪ I can dance any dance
and make it second to none ♪
♪ She taps and spins and does
high kicks all over the place ♪
♪ But through it all
I still keep up ♪
♪ The smile on my face ♪
♪ Stephanie Tanner
you're a dream come true ♪
♪ I'm living out
my childhood ambitions ♪
♪ Through you ♪
[drum roll]
[instrumental music]
♪ She's the best darn
dancer on Broadway ♪
♪ She's Stephanie Tanner ♪
That's me!
♪ Stephanie Tanner ♪
♪ And she's here ♪
♪ To stay ♪
♪ Da-da-da da-da-da
da-da-da da-da ♪♪
Dad! Dad! Dad!
Stop, dad. Dad.
Oh. Right. Sorry.
Oh, Steph, I am
so glad you talked me
into letting you do
this dance program.
Honey, when you put
your mind to something
you go all the way with it.
Now, what is it
you wanted to tell me?
Uh, j-just that
I'm ready to go.
Great. Just let me get my car
keys and we are outta here.
♪ She's Stephanie Tanner ♪
♪ And she's here
ho to hey stay ♪♪
[instrumental music]
You guys are gonna
love this baby shower.
Deej, tell 'em
how to play our first game.
Well, Becky, whoever has
the bunny stamp on their rattle
wins this lovely set
of blue potholders.
I won.
Those are gonna go great
with my checkered dishtowels.
As if I care. Huh!
(Jesse)
'Beck, I'm back!'
Oh, okay, everybody get ready.
[chuckles]
(all)
Surprise!
What the heck?
Boy, if I didn't know better,
I'd say this was a baby shower.
It is a baby shower.
Isn't this a fun surprise?
Oh. Oh, yeah. This is one of
my new favorite fun surprises.
I wish, I-I would've known,
because I invited some friends
to what I innocently
thought was like
a big, major blowout, though.
Oh, well, that's okay.
The more the merrier.
Oh, really? Oh, good, okay.
Guys, come on in!
...boys?
[both grunting]
Hold it.
Tiny, Brain Dead..
...if you guys are gonna fight,
please, no blood on the carpet.
- Oh, man!
- Well..
Oh, Jess, this is all my fault.
I deserve to have
my baby shower ruined.
Beck, these guys are my friends.
I put 'em up to it.
I've known about your
little scam for a week now.
You have?
I wonder who told you.
I have no idea.
Boy, am I getting sleepy.
Time for my nap.
Excuse me, boys.
Freeze, munchkin!
Did you tell Uncle Jesse
our little secret?
I'm sorry,
but the man had ice cream.
You bribed her
with ice cream?
And chocolate fudge,
and whipped cream
and a cherry!
Oh, that is low.
Oh, and not telling me about
our baby shower, that's not low?
If I'm not in trouble,
may I go back to the party?
Sure, go ahead.
Oh, yeah.
He had sprinkles, too.
I'm sorry, Jess.
This is all my fault.
I should've never
tried to trick you.
Well, I was a little sneaky
with that ice cream motif.
I got an idea. Let's just always
be honest with each other, huh?
- Okay.
- Alright.
- So, be honest.
- Mm-hmm.
If I would have
just come right out
and asked you to go
to the baby shower
you would've come, right?
No.
It's a good thing
you tricked me.
[instrumental music]
Okay, everybody
say "Hi, family."
- Hi, family.
- Hi, family!
I'm going backstage
before the big recital
to meet the star herself.
And there she is.
Oh, look at that,
a dancer prepares.
Let's see if we can get a word
with her. Oh, Miss Tanner.
Dad, what are you
doing back here?
As focused as she is,
she still knows I'm her father.
Steph, listen to me,
I got some great news.
I'm sitting next to the director
of the Bayview Dance Academy
if he likes your
performance tonight
we can get you into
their summer dance camp.
So I'd be dancing
my whole summer vacation?
Every day, nothing but dancing?
Yeah. Isn't that wonderful?
They're gonna start, okay?
So don't be nervous. Just break
a leg. And don't be nervous.
'Cause I'm nervous enough
for the both of us.
Welcome to our recital.
I'd like to remind everyone
that bright flashes and lights
are distracting to our dancers.
(female #1)
'Tanner, you're blinding me.'
Thank you.
Our first performance is our
advanced modern dance group
doing some street dancing
to "Motown Philly."
That's my Stephanie
in the middle.
She dances as well
as that McHammer guy.
It's M.C. Hammer.
[Boyz II Men singing
"Motown Philly"]
♪ Motown Philly back again ♪
♪ Go go go go ♪
♪ Doin' a little
east coast slide ♪
♪ Boyz II Men going off ♪
♪ Go go go go.. ♪♪
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Let's take a short intermission.
Stephanie.
What happened?
I got all messed up
and I didn't know what to do
so I started doing anything.
I guess I just don't
have what it takes.
Honey, sit down.
Steph, you had that
routine down cold.
I think you blew it on purpose.
Why would I do that?
I was wondering
the same thing.
Okay, I blew it on purpose.
But I thought this was
something you really wanted.
It was, at first.
But then, I never
got to see my friends.
I missed the baby shower..
...and I never got
to do anything fun.
I don't wanna go
to dance camp all summer.
Steph, if you wanted to quit,
why didn't you just tell me?
How could I? I begged
you to let me do this.
I didn't want
to let you down.
I would have understood.
Dad, you had me
starring on Broadway.
And you were doing high jumps
in the chorus line.
Maybe I did get
a little carried away, huh?
So you're not
disappointed in me?
No.
It's great
to have a dream
but it's okay
to change your dream, too.
You don't have to dance
if you don't want to.
I still want to dance,
just not all the time.
Okay, then, why don't we go back
to the way things were before
when dancing was
just part of your life
instead of your whole life?
[sighs]
Thanks, dad.
I love you.
Oh, I love you, too.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Uh, guys, I'm really
sorry I messed you up.
- That's okay.
- It's fine.
Uh, could we have
another chance?
Absolutely.
Are you ready, girls?
- Yeah!
- Let's go for it!
- Whoo!
Ladies and gentlemen,
we'd like to try that number
for you one more time.
[Boyz II Men singing
"Motown Philly"]
♪ Motown Philly back again ♪
♪ Go go go go ♪
♪ Doing a little
east coast slide ♪
♪ Boyz II Men going off ♪
♪ Go go go go ♪
♪ Not too hard
not too soft ♪
♪ It's long overdue
but now Philly's slammin' ♪
♪ Boyz II Men ABC BBD ♪
♪ The east coast family
never skipped a beat ♪
♪ Na while coolin'
on south street ♪
♪ Jet-black Benz
plenty of friends ♪
♪ And all the Philly
steaks you can eat ♪
♪ Back in school we used to
dream about this every day ♪
♪ Could it really happen ♪
♪ Or do dreams
just fade away, yeah ♪
♪ Then we started singin' and
they said it sounds smooth ♪
♪ Then we started a group
and here we are ♪
♪ Kickin' it just
for you oh-ooh ♪
♪ Motown Philly back again ♪
♪ Doin' a little
East Coast slide ♪♪
[audience clapping]
Next week, at my birthday party.
Alright, everybody. Let's go.
We gotta get to the hospital.
The twins are
on their way. Come on.
It's true.
We're all alone! Aahh!
[all screaming]
According to my biology teacher
a woman can be
in labor for days.
[sobbing]
[screaming]
♪ My baby ♪
♪ What a lovely way of saying
what you're thinkin'.. ♪♪
We get new babies,
I'm five years old.
What a show!
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
[theme music]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
♪ Chity Chi bob botta ♪♪