1
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:08,258
Do you want to help me

2
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:08,258
make breakfast, Michelle?

3
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,678
Sure, I could smash some eggs.

4
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,555
Whoa, you don't smash them.

5
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,725
You crack them on the side

6
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,725
of the bowl very gently.

7
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:17,935
Observe.

8
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,024
Now, do you think

9
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,024
you can do that?

10
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,318
Duh.

11
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,326
Michelle, that was perfect.

12
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,578
Thank you very much.

13
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,831
Now, would you like

14
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,831
to scramble them up?

15
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,332
I sure would.

16
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,174
[theme music]

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00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,760
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪

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00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,930
♪ Aahh ♪

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00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,937
♪ Whatever happened

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00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,937
to predictability ♪

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00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,689
♪ The milkman

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00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,689
the paper boy ♪

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00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,733
♪ Evenin' TV ♪

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00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,108
♪ When did I get

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00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,108
to living here ♪

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♪ Somebody tell me please ♪

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♪ This whole world's

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confusing me ♪

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♪ Clouds as mean

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as you've ever seen ♪

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♪ Ain't a bird

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who knows your tune ♪

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♪ Then a little voice

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inside you whispers ♪

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♪ Kid don't sell

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your dreams so soon ♪

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♪ Everywhere you look ♪

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♪ Everywhere ♪

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♪ There's a heart ♪

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♪ There's a heart ♪

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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪

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♪ Everywhere you look ♪

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♪ Everywhere ♪

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♪ There's a face ♪

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♪ Of somebody

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who needs you ♪

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♪ Everywhere you look ♪

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♪ When you're lost out there

49
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and you're all alone ♪

50
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♪ A light is waiting

51
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to carry you home ♪

52
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:03,331
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

53
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,502
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

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♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪

55
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,512
Okay, that's it.

56
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,765
I just saw Jesse

57
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,765
and Becky pull up.

58
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They're home from

59
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the hospital with the twins.

60
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Oh, man, I hear footsteps.

61
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Are you ready?

62
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,482
(in unison)

63
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,482
Welcome home!

64
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,693
I can feel the love.

65
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,529
We're home.

66
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,739
Hi.

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00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,325
'Look at this.'

68
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,913
Nicky, Alexander,

69
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,913
this is your family, remember?

70
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,166
Oh, isn't that cute?

71
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:49,168
They look like

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00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:49,168
little Elmer Fudds.

73
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,630
[imitating Elmer]

74
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,630
Hewwo, you wascally wug wats.

75
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,257
[laughs]

76
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,343
Joey's right.

77
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:59,178
My babies look

78
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:59,178
like Elmer Fudd.

79
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,641
Honey, honey, it's okay.

80
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:03,934
Joey wasn't thinking.

81
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,603
You know how he has

82
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,603
trouble with that.

83
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,063
Now, everybody, we have to be

84
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,063
a little sensitive

85
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,397
to Becky's feelings.

86
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,649
The doctor said

87
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,649
she's gonna be a little

88
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,651
over emotional

89
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,651
the next few days.

90
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,193
Well, it's not my fault.

91
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:15,570
Doctor said it's very common

92
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,656
for new mothers

93
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,656
to have mood swings.

94
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,911
Why are you

95
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,911
all staring at me?

96
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,663
Because you

97
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,663
were just talking to us.

98
00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,917
Oh, well, thanks for listening.

99
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,630
- Was that a mood swing?

100
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,630
- Six point two.

101
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,090
- Can I hold one of the babies?

102
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,090
- Sure.

103
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,258
- Can I hold one too?

104
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,258
- Absolutely, Steph.

105
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,927
But you have to

106
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,927
sit down first, okay?

107
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,471
- Okay.

108
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- They love kids.

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Hey, come on, pal.

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- It's okay.

111
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,183
- Here we go.

112
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,642
It's okay.

113
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,394
Alright.

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00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,104
Here you go, Deej.

115
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,522
Be careful with his head.

116
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,565
Okay.

117
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,358
(D.J.)

118
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,358
'Oh, how sweet.'

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00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,194
I'm next.

120
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,112
I'm afraid you're too little.

121
00:03:57,154 --> 00:04:00,407
In case you forgot,

122
00:03:57,154 --> 00:04:00,407
I'm five years old now.

123
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,243
That's a whole hand.

124
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:06,246
Michelle, babies

125
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:06,246
are very delicate.

126
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,790
I'm sorry, you're just

127
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,790
not old enough yet.

128
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,126
The twins are so cute.

129
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Alright, let me

130
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,419
tell everybody now.

131
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,420
Now, let's not get in the habit

132
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,671
of calling them "The twins".

133
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,215
They're two entirely

134
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,215
different people

135
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,341
with two entirely

136
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,341
different identities.

137
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,886
So which one's Nicky,

138
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,886
and which one's Alexander?

139
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,429
Beats me.

140
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,140
But I do know

141
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,140
Nicky loves Elvis.

142
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,392
And Alex loves to burp.

143
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,436
But their names are on

144
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,436
their hospital bracelets.

145
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,771
Hey, Kimmy, get the camera.

146
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,273
The grandparents

147
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,273
are gonna want pictures.

148
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,192
Wait a minute,

149
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,192
If my mom's gonna see this

150
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:37,318
I have to put on the booties

151
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:37,318
she made for the boys.

152
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,239
Ho-ho-hold it a second.

153
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,698
No sons of mine

154
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,698
are gonna be wearing

155
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,118
any tutti-frutti booties,

156
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,118
alright?

157
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,745
I knew it.

158
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,123
You hate my mother,

159
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,123
don't you?

160
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,540
No, I..

161
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,000
Mood swing.

162
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,086
No, I- I love

163
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,086
your sainted mother.

164
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,921
Did I-did I say

165
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,921
tutti-frutti booties?

166
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,632
No, I meant, I meant

167
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,632
cutie-wootie booties.

168
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,217
That's what I meant.

169
00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,552
- You're just saying that.

170
00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,552
- No, no, no, they're adorable.

171
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:05,264
Aren't they adorable?

172
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:05,264
Help me out here, please.

173
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,307
- Yeah, I'd wear 'em.

174
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,307
- 'They're cute.'

175
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,060
- See?

176
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,060
- Oh.

177
00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,937
Well, I'm so glad

178
00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,937
you like 'em.

179
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,107
Alright.

180
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:18,485
This is where your mommy

181
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:18,485
and daddy live, huh.

182
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:19,987
And this is the bed.

183
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,156
That's where you guys

184
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,156
get started.

185
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,658
Jess.

186
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,076
Well, it's the highlight

187
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,076
of the tour.

188
00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:28,745
Okay, here's the rest

189
00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:28,745
of the room, fellas.

190
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,538
- What do you think?

191
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,538
- Honey, I'm going to unpack.

192
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:31,748
'Okay.'

193
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,416
Alright.

194
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,460
And in here,

195
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,460
this is your room.

196
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,630
This is the nursery.

197
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,630
Huh, fellas? What do you think?

198
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,881
I know what you're saying,

199
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,881
you're saying

200
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,550
"Hey, pop, we deserve walls."

201
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,386
And I promise, some day,

202
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,386
you'll get 'em.

203
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,889
Alright.

204
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,725
Oh, this is going to be

205
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,725
the perfect place, guys.

206
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,186
And you're going to

207
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,186
have the perfect life

208
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:55,981
because I'm going

209
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:55,981
to be the perfect dad.

210
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,066
Hey, my dad was great,

211
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,066
but he did make a few mistakes.

212
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:02,403
Like, he's always buggin' me

213
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:02,403
about my long hair.

214
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:03,947
But I tell you, something, it's

215
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:03,947
not going to happen to you.

216
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:07,659
You know why?

217
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:07,659
Because you're bald.

218
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,410
I was just kidding.

219
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,410
I'm kidding, I'm good.

220
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,871
You know, I like to

221
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,871
joke around sometimes.

222
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,080
Y-you guys will learn.

223
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:14,958
Oh, I love you so much.

224
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,210
Can I have a kiss?

225
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,296
Can I have a little kiss?

226
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,635
I'm going to be

227
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,635
the best dad in the world.

228
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,470
I promise you guys.

229
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,513
Oh, this is so fun.

230
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,806
I'm hanging out with boys.

231
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,308
My boys.

232
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,311
High five.

233
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,311
Give me high five.

234
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,022
Give me five.

235
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,274
Give me a high five.

236
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,817
Give me a high five.

237
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:41,776
Give me a high five.

238
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,196
High five.

239
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,196
High five me.

240
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,242
Right on, brother.

241
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,748
So, the doctor's taking

242
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,748
my blood pressure

243
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:55,874
and you're not gonna

244
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:55,874
believe this.

245
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,293
It registers nothing.

246
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,502
Turns out there was

247
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,502
this little hole

248
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,754
in that little squeeze ball.

249
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:01,922
You know, that thing

250
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:01,922
that looks like

251
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,631
a turkey baster.

252
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,550
What? We're outta time already?

253
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,177
I can't believe this,

254
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,177
boy, time sure flies

255
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,845
when I'm telling stories,

256
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,845
doesn't it?

257
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,472
Tune in tomorrow when my guest

258
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,472
will be Chef Sol Wong

259
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,017
and cartoon show host,

260
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,017
Ranger Joe Gladstone.

261
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,310
Becky, enjoy your babies.

262
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,104
Don't worry,

263
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,104
the show's in good hands.

264
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:17,938
So long, San Francisco.

265
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,399
♪ Wake Up ♪♪

266
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,402
Well, pretty good show,

267
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,402
huh, Mr. Strowbridge?

268
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,862
- You need a co-host.

269
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,862
- A co-host?

270
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,698
Yeah, someone

271
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,698
to compliment you.

272
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,117
Why? I compliment myself

273
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,117
all the time.

274
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,286
Watch this, good show.

275
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,286
Nice work, Danny.

276
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,538
Tanner, I-I'm sure you're gonna

277
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,538
really like Vicky Larson.

278
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,457
She's starting tomorrow.

279
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,457
Oh, Vicky.

280
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,376
She's starting tomorrow?

281
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,585
Hi.

282
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,588
Tomorrow works for me.

283
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,506
Hi, there, I'm, uh,

284
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,506
I'm Danny Tanner.

285
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,841
Welcome to my world.

286
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,176
Oh, It's nice

287
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,176
to meet you, Danny.

288
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,804
Alright, you two,

289
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,804
so talk, mingle

290
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,431
make chemistry.

291
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,518
So, have you ever done

292
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,518
a morning talk show before?

293
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,354
Well, no, but that

294
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,354
doesn't mean that I haven't--

295
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,648
Well, don't you worry

296
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,648
about a thing.

297
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,401
I am gonna teach you

298
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,401
everything I know.

299
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:07,279
For instance, words

300
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:07,279
like, uh, "Speaking of"

301
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:10,324
can smoothly get you

302
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:10,324
from one subject to another.

303
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:14,161
That's what we people in

304
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:14,161
talk-show biz call a segue.

305
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,787
Segue, I think I got it.

306
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,705
Ah, Vicky,

307
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,705
they want you in wardrobe.

308
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,291
Ah, I guess

309
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,291
I'll see you tomorrow.

310
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,959
Oh! "I'll see you tomorrow."

311
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,794
Now, that's an excellent way

312
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,794
to end the show up.

313
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,212
Boy, you're catching on already.

314
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:30,927
There.

315
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,137
Doesn't that feel much better

316
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,139
without those

317
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,139
hospital bracelets?

318
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,432
You're allowed

319
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,432
to take 'em off?

320
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:36,516
Yeah, well, it's not like

321
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,226
they're mattress tags.

322
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,146
Well, how do you

323
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,146
tell 'em apart?

324
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:44,732
Oh, it's easy, Nicky's in

325
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:44,732
the mint-green booties, yes.

326
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,777
And Alex is in the peach ones.

327
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,777
Hi, sweetie.

328
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,113
Listen, will you girls do me

329
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,113
a favor and entertain the boys

330
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,615
while I put these hospital

331
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,615
bracelets in their baby books?

332
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,825
Sure.

333
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,076
Now, don't you guys dare do

334
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:58,579
anything cute while I'm gone.

335
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:58,579
Okay?

336
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,166
Okay, let's play with them.

337
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,418
I'll take Alexander

338
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,418
you take Nicky.

339
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,171
Hi, Alexander.

340
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:09,299
Peek-a-boo!

341
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:09,299
Peek-a-boo.

342
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,012
Okay, switch.

343
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,931
- Hi.

344
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,931
- Hi, Nicky.

345
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,517
Hi.

346
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,519
Okay, daddy's back.

347
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,979
Come on, D.J.,

348
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,979
let's put the laundry away.

349
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,689
Won't that be fun?

350
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,442
Steph, it's me.

351
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,277
Sorry, I'm better now.

352
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,323
Hi, bud, hey.

353
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:38,328
I'm older now.

354
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:38,328
Want me to<i> hold</i> anything?

355
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,620
No, no, thanks, Michelle.

356
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,581
You-you run along

357
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,581
and play, okay?

358
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,417
That what I always do.

359
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,461
Play, play, play.

360
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,759
What?

361
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,094
What was that?

362
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,345
Oh, you want me to take off

363
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:56,763
those girlie booties.

364
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,473
Hey, guys,

365
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,473
I don't-I don't blame you.

366
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,517
They're outta here.

367
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,851
There we go.

368
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,687
Now we can go back

369
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,687
to being real men.

370
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,274
This little piggy

371
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,274
went to market.

372
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,985
This little piggy, uh,

373
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,985
rode his Harley Davidson.

374
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,739
Oh, Jess. Alexander

375
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,739
needs to be nursed.

376
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,032
Do you want to bring him

377
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,032
in the other room for me?

378
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,367
- 'Sure.'

379
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,367
- Thanks.

380
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,994
Okay, Alexander

381
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,994
needs to be nursed.

382
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,665
Where did your bracelets go?

383
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,376
Hey, Beck.

384
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:29,712
You guys wait here.

385
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:29,712
Stay out of the fridge.

386
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,965
Beck, what happened

387
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,965
to the babies bracelets?

388
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,384
Oh, I took 'em off

389
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,384
and put 'em in their baby books.

390
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,844
- How are we tell 'em apart?

391
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,844
- Oh, It's simple.

392
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,138
Alexander's in the peach booties

393
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,390
and Nicky's in

394
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,390
the mint-green ones.

395
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,810
Listen, about these booties..

396
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,770
I really think

397
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,770
they're a little girlie for me.

398
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,064
Jess, my mother

399
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,064
made those booties

400
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,483
and I want

401
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,483
my sons to wear them.

402
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,276
And I don't think

403
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,276
that's not too much to ask.

404
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,527
Why are you putting me

405
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,527
through this?

406
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,780
Sorry. I'm wrong.

407
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,282
Ah, no, I-I love those boot..

408
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,159
Any good red-blooded

409
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,159
American boy

410
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,743
would love to wear

411
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,743
those booties.

412
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:01,911
In fact, could you call

413
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:01,911
your mother up and ask

414
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,705
if she could make

415
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,705
a pair for me?

416
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,958
Oh, I bet she would.

417
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,418
Now, please go

418
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,418
bring me Alexander.

419
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,044
- Okay.

420
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,044
- Thank you.

421
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,132
Alright, guys, we got to put

422
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,132
your booties back on.

423
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,260
Why? Because your mom's about

424
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,260
this far from losing it.

425
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,803
Okay, Alexander,

426
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,803
you had the peach motif.

427
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,430
Which..

428
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,056
Who's Alexander?

429
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,056
Which one-which one of you all..

430
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,601
Fine, whoever's Alexander,

431
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,601
raise your hand.

432
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,146
'Anyone? Anyone?'

433
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,940
Oh, my God.

434
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,940
I don't know who's who.

435
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,859
I mixed up my own kids.

436
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,613
Some father. I can just hear

437
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,613
it now. You telling your shrink.

438
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:39,115
"Oh, we were fine till

439
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:39,115
my old man took off my booties.

440
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,742
"And I almost spent

441
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,742
the rest of my life

442
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,495
not knowing

443
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,495
if I was me or my brother."

444
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,997
Jess, honey,

445
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,997
where are you?

446
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,040
'Coming.'

447
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,209
Uh...eeny, meeny, ma..

448
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,751
You, you're Alex.

449
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,754
Here we go.

450
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,754
Here we go, Alex.

451
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:56,883
Alright, here we go.

452
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,844
Okay, don't tell

453
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,844
your ma what I did.

454
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,180
There we are.

455
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:05,600
Okay. Coming right out

456
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:05,600
with Alex..

457
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,477
...or Nicky.

458
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,440
I'm sorry.

459
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,192
Whoever you are.

460
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,664
Morning, Nicky or Alex.

461
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,708
Morning, Nicky or Alex.

462
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:31,834
Listen, I got to find out

463
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:31,834
who's who now.

464
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,588
Now, Nicky, whoever you are,

465
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,588
I know you love Elvis

466
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,131
so give me some kind of

467
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,131
sign, okay? Ready?

468
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,842
♪ I'm just a hunka

469
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,842
hunka burnin' love ♪

470
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,886
♪ I'm just a hunka

471
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,886
hunka burnin' love ♪♪

472
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,472
Come on, guys,

473
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,472
ah, do something.

474
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,474
Curl a lip.

475
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,474
Anything.

476
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,018
Morning, Jess.

477
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,353
Oh, hi, morning.

478
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,979
Are the babies awake?

479
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,440
Yeah, yeah, they're awake.

480
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,066
Happy, healthy..

481
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,444
...confident in knowing

482
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,444
who they are.

483
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,486
[burp]

484
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,071
'Oh, honey, look.'

485
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,031
Nicky burped.

486
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:07,870
Oh, and I thought Big Al

487
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:07,870
was the king of burps.

488
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,623
You better watch out.

489
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,708
Nicky's making

490
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,708
a run for the crown.

491
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,000
'Yes, he is.'

492
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,629
Yeah he is making a run

493
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,629
for the crown now.

494
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,880
A-ha.

495
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,260
Alright, you little gas bag

496
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,970
you must be Big Al.

497
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,764
Okay, what we're gonna

498
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,764
do is we switch.

499
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:26,681
Okay, we'll switch the booties.

500
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,182
♪ Shake shake shake ♪

501
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,017
♪ Shake shake shake

502
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,017
shake your booties ♪♪

503
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,228
Everybody sing along.

504
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,228
Shake your booty.

505
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,854
Oh, you guys don't know

506
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,854
the song, that's right.

507
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,857
You missed the 70's.

508
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,857
Lucky you.

509
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,192
♪ Shake shake ♪

510
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,153
♪ Shake shake shake ♪♪

511
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,155
Now we're all set.

512
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,782
There we go.

513
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:46,033
Wait a minute, Becky saw you

514
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:46,033
guys the other way around.

515
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,578
So, well I, we'll just..

516
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:49,621
Here..

517
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,665
Ah, o-okay.

518
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:52,707
I got it.

519
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,334
We simply do this

520
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,335
and we do this.

521
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,795
Ready?

522
00:13:56,835 --> 00:13:58,672
Badda bing.

523
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,257
Badda boom.

524
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,385
You thought

525
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,385
your old man was a dope.

526
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,763
Alright.

527
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,181
Okay.

528
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,391
[burp]

529
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,352
Now you burped. Guys,

530
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,352
you're messing me up here.

531
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:16,022
I can't be changing your booties

532
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:16,022
for 18 more years.

533
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,775
Hi, dad.

534
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,694
- Hi, mom.

535
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,694
- 'How you doing? '

536
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:23,237
Fine, fine,

537
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:23,237
you know, I was thinking.

538
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,989
You know, wouldn't it be funny

539
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,989
if we accidentally

540
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:28,535
mixed up the kids and we really

541
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:28,535
didn't know who was who?

542
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,787
Funny?

543
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,539
That would be horrible.

544
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,582
I mean, that

545
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,582
would be a tragedy.

546
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,834
I mean, they'd go through life

547
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,834
never knowing

548
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,752
their true identities.

549
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,213
And that's why

550
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,213
I will never let that happen.

551
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:42,882
Okay, I'm another day older.

552
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:46,010
Could I hold that baby<i> now?</i>

553
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,639
Jess, I have a feeling she's

554
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,639
never gonna give up on this.

555
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,057
Ah, I think you're right.

556
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,057
Okay, Michelle.

557
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,267
You gotta sit down.

558
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,267
I'll grab you a kid.

559
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,979
Alright. You sit

560
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,979
back up in there. Okay?

561
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,649
Alright, now remember, you gotta

562
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,649
keep your hand behind his head

563
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:02,068
and don't jostle him,

564
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:02,068
and don't drop him and..

565
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,820
Pretty much

566
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,820
don't even move a muscle.

567
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:06,406
You're making me

568
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:06,406
very nervous.

569
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,408
Sorry.

570
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,576
Here you go.

571
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,787
- Alright.

572
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,787
- Oh, hi, sweetie.

573
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:17,083
Look at me,

574
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:17,083
I'm holding a baby.

575
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,294
Look how happy he is, Michelle.

576
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,172
That's because he likes me.

577
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,675
Well, he's your little cousin,

578
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,675
he looks up to you.

579
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:29,220
If you have any questions,

580
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:29,220
talk to me.

581
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,889
I love you.

582
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,353
Alright, you two,

583
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,353
have a good show.

584
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,479
Thanks, Mr. Strowbridge.

585
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,022
Vicky, these are for you.

586
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,609
That's very sweet, Bill.

587
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:47,280
Now, Vicky, give us some of that

588
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:47,280
Emmy Award winning style.

589
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,909
You, uh, you won an Emmy?

590
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,410
Well, actually,

591
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,410
I won two of them

592
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,580
in DC for

593
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,580
investigative reporting.

594
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,917
I-I thought you said you

595
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,917
never did a talk show before.

596
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,086
That's true, but I anchored

597
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,086
the evening news for five years.

598
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,132
Wow, why didn't you, uh

599
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,132
tell me that?

600
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,217
Because you never

601
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,217
stopped talking.

602
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,845
In five, four,

603
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,845
three, two..

604
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,723
♪ Wake Up ♪♪

605
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,643
Wake up, San Francisco.

606
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,643
Hi, I'm Danny Tanner.

607
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,770
And temporarily filling

608
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,770
in for my co-host

609
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,856
Rebecca "hurry-back-soon"

610
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,856
Donaldson is Vicky Larson.

611
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,692
Actually, it's Vicky "I'm

612
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,692
gonna be here for four weeks

613
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,570
so let's have

614
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,570
a good time" Larson.

615
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:30,615
Okay, well, let's bring out

616
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:30,615
our first guest, shall we?

617
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,785
He's the host of the

618
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,785
"Ranger Joe" cartoon show.

619
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,412
Let's hear it for

620
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,412
my good friend Joey Gladstone.

621
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,539
♪ Ranger Joe ♪

622
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,917
♪ Ranger Joe ♪

623
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,502
He's the greatest guy I know.

624
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:45,171
♪ He's Ranger Joe ♪♪

625
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,466
- Hey, Joey.

626
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,466
- Hi, Danny, Vicky.

627
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,134
- Welcome to the show.

628
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,134
- Thank you.

629
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,803
Welcome to the show,

630
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,803
Mr. Woodchuck.

631
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:55,640
'Thanks, Danny.

632
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:55,640
I'll just watch.'

633
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,686
Well, Joey's hosting the cartoon

634
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,686
marathon all this week.

635
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,479
Speaking of cartoons..

636
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,064
- Like that segue, Danny?

637
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,064
- Not bad.

638
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,985
Joey, do you feel that

639
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,985
violence in cartoons today

640
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:11,280
has an adverse effect on our

641
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:11,280
children's social consciousness?

642
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,700
- Well, actually, Vicky--

643
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,700
- Uh, excuse me, Vicky, please.

644
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:17,119
Joey's just a sweet,

645
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:17,119
loveable, goofy guy.

646
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,705
Please don't try

647
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,705
and clog his head

648
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,123
with this kind

649
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,123
of controversial issues.

650
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,960
Actually, Vicky, I'm glad

651
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,960
I finally have the chance

652
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:26,504
to articulate my position.

653
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,339
Articulate?

654
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,466
Yes, I've given this issue

655
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,466
a lot of thought

656
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:34,220
and while violence is certainly

657
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:34,220
endemic to our society

658
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:36,096
on my show, I only run cartoons

659
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:39,559
where the violence

660
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:39,559
is non-reality based.

661
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,811
That is to say,

662
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,811
if we see a mouse

663
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:44,063
drop a battleship on a cat

664
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:45,439
the emulation of that act

665
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:49,193
by a small child

666
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:49,193
would be virtually impossible.

667
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,529
That's a fascinating

668
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,529
observation.

669
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,947
Yeah, especially

670
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,947
coming from a man

671
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:55,199
who plays Jingle Bells

672
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:55,199
on his armpits.

673
00:17:56,868 --> 00:18:00,371
We'll be back with

674
00:17:56,868 --> 00:18:00,371
more Ranger Joe, Ph.D.

675
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,373
And we're clear.

676
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,833
Great interview, Joey.

677
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:04,959
Oh, thanks, Vicky.

678
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,377
You know,

679
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,377
you're really wonderful.

680
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,005
Thank you.

681
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,005
Excuse me.

682
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,009
What do you, what do you mean,

683
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,009
she's wonderful?

684
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,803
She's overbearing,

685
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,803
abrasive, and arrogant.

686
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,848
Man, you are so hot for her.

687
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,017
I know. She's going

688
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,017
to drive me nuts.

689
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,021
Okay, ready for round two?

690
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,773
Yep, let's get it on.

691
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,985
I mean, let's get on with it.

692
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,446
The show.

693
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:34,822
Hi, we're back.

694
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,700
And we're talking

695
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,700
with the cartoon show host..

696
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,578
Here you go, Uncle Jesse.

697
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,578
My "Junior Detective" kit.

698
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,413
Shh. Keep your voice down.

699
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,748
Why? What do you need this for?

700
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,874
I can't tell you.

701
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,626
Then I can't let you use it.

702
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,505
Alright, girls, I'm going

703
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,505
to tell you a secret

704
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,966
but you can't tell Becky.

705
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,009
Because, well, you know

706
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,009
how she's been.

707
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,135
Nuts?

708
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,095
Well, she hasn't been nuts.

709
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,387
She's..

710
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,387
Yeah, nuts.

711
00:18:58,429 --> 00:18:59,889
Yeah, she's been nuts.

712
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,016
What happened was,

713
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,016
I mixed the twins up

714
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,559
and I can't tell who's who.

715
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,770
(in unison)

716
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,770
What?

717
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,396
They're your own kids.

718
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,483
Even baboons know

719
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,483
their own babies.

720
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,657
Out!

721
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,660
Ooh! Sore spot.

722
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:24,831
Alright, this is what we do.

723
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,290
What I'm gonna do is

724
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,290
I'm gonna take a footprint

725
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,667
of one of the babies

726
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,667
and I'm gonna compare it

727
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,627
to the original

728
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,627
in the birth certificate

729
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,795
Right here, okay.

730
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,297
Deej, get the ink out.

731
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,297
I'll take, uh..

732
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,092
...whoever you are.

733
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,220
Alrighty.

734
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,220
Here we go.

735
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,640
Here we go.

736
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,640
Okay, ready?

737
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,935
And ink him.

738
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,729
Son, this better be

739
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,729
your last set of prints.

740
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:53,317
Okay, and we do this.

741
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,403
Look at that, see?

742
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,322
Alright, now, we just compare it

743
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,322
with the original

744
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,907
and we'll be Jake.

745
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,118
(Becky)

746
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,118
'Hey, where is everybody?'

747
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,452
We're in here!

748
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:04,453
Shh! Stephanie.

749
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,040
No, we're not!

750
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,376
Look at this.

751
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,213
Becky's going to see this.

752
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,213
D.J., help me, uh.

753
00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:16,298
Uh, let's put his foot

754
00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:16,298
in my pocket.

755
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,559
Oh, here you are.

756
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,602
Jess, it's time

757
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,602
to feed the boys.

758
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,022
Uh, I think I hear dad calling.

759
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,482
Coming, dad!

760
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,610
Dad's at the store.

761
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,529
You are really having a bad day.

762
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,376
Jess, is-is there some reason

763
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,587
that our son's foot

764
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,587
is in your pocket?

765
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,843
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

766
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,843
Well, there's a-there's a..

767
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,596
There's a-there's a perfectly,

768
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,596
perfectly good reason.

769
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,640
And-and that is

770
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,640
because, uh..

771
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,852
Well, well, because he kicked

772
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,852
his bootie off and-and he..

773
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,938
I wanted to keep his foot warm.

774
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,272
There you go. There's a..

775
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:16,442
There's a perfectly

776
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:16,442
good reason.

777
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,073
Is there

778
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,073
a perfectly good reason

779
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,991
that his foot's

780
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,991
covered with ink?

781
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:26,869
Where's my head today?

782
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,996
I must have left another

783
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,996
ink pad in my pocket.

784
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:38,005
Why don't you

785
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:38,005
tell me the truth?

786
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:44,553
Well, the truth is.

787
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:45,805
I was taking

788
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:45,805
his footprints

789
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,890
because I took

790
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,890
their booties off

791
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:51,102
and...now I can't

792
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:51,102
tell them apart.

793
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:52,686
Some great dad, huh?

794
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:56,149
Even baboons can tell

795
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:56,149
their kids apart.

796
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,192
Honey, why didn't you tell me?

797
00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:01,445
I was just trying to avoid

798
00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:01,445
the mother of all mood swings.

799
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:05,074
Honey, I know

800
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:05,074
I've been real crazy lately

801
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,326
but if there's some problem with

802
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,326
our kids, you have to tell me

803
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:08,911
so we can work it out together.

804
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,038
I know, I just..

805
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,707
I just want to be

806
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,707
the perfect dad, that's all.

807
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,418
There is no such thing

808
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,418
as the perfect dad.

809
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,296
But you're gonna be a great dad.

810
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,589
And you're already

811
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,589
a great husband.

812
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,008
And I love you.

813
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,051
Have mercy.

814
00:22:26,637 --> 00:22:28,097
Well, we're doing

815
00:22:26,637 --> 00:22:28,097
pretty good so far.

816
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:30,683
I mean, our kids are happy,

817
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:30,683
they're healthy.

818
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,852
We just don't know

819
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,852
who the heck they are.

820
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,646
But I'm gonna find out

821
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,646
right now. Alright.

822
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:38,024
Now, let's see.

823
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:38,024
This one..

824
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,609
See, he's got

825
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,609
a little squiggle here

826
00:22:40,651 --> 00:22:42,444
and a little squig..

827
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:44,322
We have a match.

828
00:22:44,362 --> 00:22:47,533
You, you with the inky foot,

829
00:22:44,362 --> 00:22:47,533
my friend..

830
00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,202
...are Big Al.

831
00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:52,830
'Isn't that

832
00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:52,830
great news, guys?'

833
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:55,166
'Eh, they're so excited,

834
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:55,166
they're speechless.'

835
00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:57,168
Fellas, I've been

836
00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:57,168
going crazy all day.

837
00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,129
I found out who you are.

838
00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,129
You're Al. You're Nicky.

839
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:02,380
High five.

840
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:02,380
Give me high five.

841
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:06,260
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪♪

842
00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,888
[theme music]