[John Stamos singing
"Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paper boy
evenin' TV ♪
♪ When did I get
to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ And a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face
of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Nicky, take it easy.
Save some room
for the Peking duck.
Just a little, uh,
pre-solid food humor.
Oh, I can't believe I have
to go back to work already.
I'm gonna miss
my pookie bear so much.
Well, you'll see 'em
in an hour.
Remember you're putting 'em
on your show today.
Yeah, but what if
they do something cute?
What if they learn to talk?
I'll have them call you.
Okay, let's roll.
Today's our big
Farewell-Vicky show.
And?
And our even bigger
Welcome-Back-Becky show.
So Vick and you were going
pretty hot there for a while.
I thought you'd be a little down
about her leaving.
Down? Me? Mr. Up?
[chuckles]
Mr. Life Of The Party?
Oh, yeah, man.
Let the good times roll.
Why did she have to go?
Good morning, everyone.
- Good morning.
- 'Morning.'
What are we looking at,
Ranger Joe?
Nothing.
I have a stiff neck.
Boy, I sure hope my neck
loosens up before my show
or it's gonna be
bird watching day.
[as Mr. Woodchuck]
Yeah, we can look for..
...woodpeckers.
Well, Joey,
keep your chin up.
Huh! Guess you have
no choice.
Forget it.
You cannot borrow my clothes.
- Please?
- No.
- Please?
- No!
Please, please, please?
I'll do it.
No, no, no.
Remember, my clothes
are untouchable, off limits.
This means you, understand?
I understand..
...not.
I'm wearing D.J.'s sweater.
[gasps]
She's goin' to have a cow.
Alright, lunches.
Kisses.
Alright.
Have a good day at school.
You alright, boys? Huh?
[telephone ringing]
Don't get up.
I'll get it.
Talk to me.
Speaking.
Oh, guys,
it's the record company.
Tell me you love the song.
You like the song.
Oh, well, then maybe you can
learn to love it, I mean, uh
you know, as a kid,
like I hated blue cheese.
I thought it was like
eating like sweat socks
but, no, really,
but eventually I..
Right.
Okay.
I'm sorry too.
Bye.
Well, boys..
...your old man
got rejected again.
But you still love me, right?
That's what I thought.
Yeah, we're all
on the same boat.
Out-of-work high fives.
Out-of-work high fives. Come on.
♪ Wake up ♪♪
"Wake Up, San Francisco."
I'm Danny Tanner.
And I'm Vicky Larson,
and today's my last day
because Rebecca Donaldson
is back from maternity leave.
I'm gonna miss you, Danny.
Oh, Vicky.
You know, I just forgot
we're still on camera.
[laughing]
But, uh, Vicky, I have
a big surprise for you.
I spoke to our station manager
and he wants you to do
the weather reports right here
on "Wake Up, San Francisco."
- Isn't that wonderful?
- Uh, i-it would be.
Except this morning, I was
offered an incredible job
anchoring the news in Chicago.
Chicago?
The Windy City?
Uh, you-you'll have to wear
a hat. You'll get hat hair.
Uh, Danny, why don't we talk
about this after the show
because Rebecca
is waiting to come on--
Chicago? Didn't they have
a really big fire there?
It was over 100 years ago.
I'm sure it's out by now.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Donaldson
and I'm welcoming myself
back to the show.
Welcome back, Becky.
Why, thank you, Becky.
- Oh, welcome back, Becky.
- Welcome back.
Thank you.
Thank you, Vicky.
Thank you very much.
Um, I would like all of our
viewers to meet the two reasons
that I've been out of work
for the last eight weeks.
Nicky and Alex.
Come on in, boys.
- Hi.
- Hi, baby.
And, everybody, this is
my wonderful husband, Jesse.
- Say hello, honey.
- Hello, honey.
And these are our boys.
They're identical twins.
Oh, except Alex has
a birthmark on his tushie.
- Just like his daddy.
- I'm out of here.
Wait, wait, wait.
Come on, I am so proud
of this guy.
Do you know what
he's gonna do today?
He is going to take care
of the kids, do the shopping
do the laundry,
and cook us a wonderful dinner.
Yeah, right after that,
I'm gonna wrestle a bobcat
with my bare hands.
Have mercy.
Fourteen pounds.
You guys been sneaking
down to the kitchen
eating cheeseburgers
at night?
Alright, there you go.
Here we go.
Uh, fellas, you see this?
This is what
you're gonna look like
'if you don't start
growing hair.'
Come on.
I got our dinner,
Uncle Jesse.
Ho-ho-hold it. I'm not
buying all that junk food.
You better buy these cookies.
I already ate four.
I mean, five.
Billy Bunny Cereal.
I got to have it.
Ho-ho-hold it, Michelle.
Hold it, Michelle.
I wanna tell you something,
just because there's some
goofy character on the box,
it doesn't mean
the product's any good,
alright?
Oh, my God!
"Elvis Peanut Butter."
Uncle Jesse, isn't that the same
thing as Billy Bunny Cereal?
No, it is not.
Elvis is a man, not a cartoon.
Now, what do you guys want?
Smooth or hunka-hunka-chunka?
We'll take both.
Alright, hey, Nicky.
How you do..
Whoa! Whoa!
- Did we bring any diapers?
- Diapers, aisle 3.
Alright, I got an idea.
Come here, pal.
Here we go.
Here, this ought to keep
you smelling pine fresh
till we get there.
Alright, girls,
we need milk and bread.
Got it.
No more junk food.
Hey, I saw you on TV
this morning.
Really? Thank you.
You're, uh, Rebecca's husband?
Jesse Donaldson?
It's Katsopolis.
Jesse Katsopolis.
Whatever. I'm George.
And it's nice to meet
another house husband.
I'm not a house husband.
I'm a, I'm a musician.
Yeah, I'm a screenwriter.
Look, I-I'm just doing this
because my career
is temporarily on hold, okay?
Yeah, you know, I said the same
thing to my wife when she went
back to work.
That was four years ago.
So, so for four years,
all you've done is
take care of the kids
and the house?
Uh, of course, not,
I mean, there's, uh, shopping
and car pools,
and oh, my favorite soap
"General Hospital."
Listen, I-I gotta run.
I'll see you Thursday.
Double coupon day.
Hope I could sleep
Wednesday night.
Hmm. These Funky Franks
are pretty good.
I better try a few more
just to make sure.
Uh-oh!
Ah! What have I done?
I got mustard on D.J.'s sweater.
She's goin' to have a cow.
Tell me something I don't know.
Yesterday, I dropped
your toothbrush in the toilet.
Alright, come on, girls.
Let's go.
All we need are paper towels.
I'll get one.
Wait, there.
Ho-ho-hold it, Michelle.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
I'm just trying to help.
Well, thank you, but you never
take from the bottom.
Always take from the top.
Like this, you see?
I could have done that.
- I set the table, Uncle Jesse.
- Thank you.
I'm too full to eat dinner,
Uncle Jesse.
Now I know why
they call them Funky Franks.
Alright. Michelle,
take one plate away.
Now you see it,
now you don't.
[beeping]
That's my laundry.
I'm gonna go check on the boys.
I'll be right back.
(Stephanie)
I threw D.J.'s sweater in.
I hope that mustard stain
came out.
[screams]
It shrank.
That will fit my Barbie.
(together)
Hi.
Deej, my loving sister.
How nice to see you.
I'm just going to go
in the living room
and, uh, oh, uh,
practice my moonwalk.
Steph, the 80s are over.
Oh, girls.
Just in time for dinner.
Oh, sorry, Uncle Jesse
but Kimmy and I
are gonna go study
at the library.
We'll catch a burger
on the way.
Is that the thanks
I get after slaving
over a hot stove all day?
Boy, you sound just like my mom.
Only more bitter.
There goes another plate.
Hey, Jess.
- Did you, uh, lose something?
- Yeah, the use of my neck.
I tried to crack it myself.
You know, it's amazing
how many people need shoeshines.
Where's Becky and Danny?
Oh, they said to tell you
they had to work late
and they'll be late for dinner.
- Michelle, two more plates.
- Why do I even bother?
Well, I gotta go
see a chiropractor
so I'm not gonna be here
for dinner either.
- Michelle.
- What is this? A joke?
Hey, Jess,
can you do me a favor
and sew this button
onto Mr. Woodchuck?
Oh, I'd love to.
Boy, this floor
needs a wax job.
Not only am I Mr. Mom,
I'm Mr. Woodchuck's mom.
[sighs]
What a day.
Are you totally bummed?
Yeah, totally.
Go ahead.
Tell me all about it.
I just..
I'm just afraid.
You know, I mean, what if
I never get a record deal?
I mean, is this it for me?
Cooking, cleaning.
Watching the kids
while Becky's at work?
I gotta make some changes
in my life.
Can we eat dinner first?
Sure, kid,
hope you're hungry
because, uh, it's just
you and me eatin'.
I think you forgot somebody.
Bon appetit, Comet.
Alright. There.
Your button's on,
you sawdust-sucking tree freak.
Oh, you have
no snappy comebacks
since Joey's hand's
not up your back, huh?
That's what I thought.
- Hi, honey.
- 'Hi.'
- I'm sorry I missed dinner.
- That's okay.
- Hello, boys.
- I tell you, Jess.
I-I know I should be happy
about Vicky's new job in Chicago
and I am, but I'm-I'm feeling
a little guilty
that I'm not happy enough,
you know?
I think I hid my feelings
pretty well although I did weep
all over her
goodbye ice cream cake.
I'm fine about this.
I-I really am. Just..
Do you guys know
a good therapist?
I'll be leaving now.
- He's taking it well.
- Yes, he is.
So, honey, how was your day?
Well, the record company called.
They didn't like my demo.
- Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
- Nah, it's alright.
I'm shaking things up.
I got myself a gig tonight.
I'm playing with an oldies band
at the airport lounge.
- The airport lounge?
- Mm-hmm.
- Honey, isn't that a step down?
- From unemployment?
Nah, it's music.
It's a paycheck.
Besides, I get a real
nice coloring book
and those little wings.
Honey, I've been gone all day.
I mean, this was supposed
to be our time together.
Well, this is my time to make
some money for my family.
Oh, Jesse, I make more
than enough money
to support our family.
Thanks for reminding me.
What? You have some problem
with me making a decent living?
No, I have a problem with me
making a decent living.
Oh, okay. So now I know
what argument I'm in.
This is about
your stubborn macho pride.
What pride? I don't have
any pride. I lost my pride.
I'm gonna get some pride.
Say goodbye to Mr. Donaldson.
Hey, Steph, have you seen
the heating pad?
In dad's top drawer.
You know, he preheats
his socks in the winter.
- How's your neck, Joey?
- Oh, it's much better.
I just can't make
any sudden moves.
Look what fits me!
- Michelle!
- What? Aah!
[grunting]
Oh, I just threw
my neck out again.
[as Mr. Woodchuck]
Way to go, stupid.
Hey, I have the exact
same sweater in my closet.
Well, it's a small world
after all.
And that one has
a button missing right where
this one has a button missing.
Can someone explain this?
I just wear 'em.
I don't shrink 'em.
- Steph?
- Alright, this is your sweater.
I stole it, I stained it,
I shrunk it.
I should have buried it.
Okay, D.J., have that cow.
I'm so sorry, D.J. I'll do
anything to make it up to you.
Well, make it up to Kimmy.
I borrowed that sweater
from her last summer.
Oh, yeah.
That is my sweater.
So, Steph, you'll do anything
to make it up to me?
This is my worst nightmare.
Okay, Kimmy, I deserve this.
What do you want?
Well, actually,
I haven't had a pedicure in..
...my whole life.
(all)
Ew, gross!
Not the sock!
Run for it!
♪ Glow little glow-worm
glimmer glimmer ♪
♪ Glow little glow-worm
glimmer glimmer ♪
♪ I got a gal that I love so ♪
♪ Glow little glow-worm
glow ♪♪
Thank you.
And you know what?
Thank you.
Well, welcome
to the terminal lounge
the hippest room
on the departing level.
We are The Diplomats, and no,
you're not in an elevator.
Thank you, Irv.
I love you.
What are you guys doing here?
Well, we thought
we'd come down to see you.
I thought you said
this was an oldies band.
I get it.
I'll talk to you
after the set.
(man on PA system)
'Flight 19 to Chicago
is now boarding at gate six.'
Hey, buddy.
What are you staring at?
Oh, I'm not staring.
I just have a stiff neck.
You want me to adjust it for ya?
I'll just adjust my chair.
Okay, for our next number,
we have a ver..
Oh, yes, sir.
You have a, a request there?
Yes, sir, what would
you like to hear?
Watch my luggage
while I go to the john.
Who wrote that one?
Gershwin? Hit me, Irv.
Uh, okay. Well, then, uh,
we'll do this song.
I-I'm sure you'll all enjoy it.
It goes something like this.
♪ You must remember this ♪
♪ A kiss is just a kiss ♪
♪ A sigh is just a sigh ♪
Vicky, I-I can't believe
you're moving to Chicago.
Danny, I've been thinking
about this all day.
I'm gonna take that job
here doing the weather.
Really? That's great.
But wait a minute.
Vicky, what about Chicago?
That was your dream job.
But San Francisco has
one thing Chicago doesn't.
Rice-A-Roni?
[chuckles]
Alright, two things.
Vicky, I-I can't let you
give up your dream for me.
If you stay here, and you do the
weather, you're gonna hate it.
And then, pretty soon,
you're gonna start to hate me.
I could never hate you.
I may resent you a little.
(man on PA system)
'Final boarding for flight 19
to Chicago.'
Vicky, you've gotta get on that
plane or you're gonna regret it.
Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
And for the rest of your life.
You're right.
Oh, Danny, I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
(man on PA system)
'Flight 817 to Rio now
available for pre-boarding.'
- I can't do it.
- Vicky, you need to be strong.
No, I can't do it, because I
don't have luggage or a ticket.
You mean, I have to
go through this whole goodbye
again tomorrow?
Yes.
But we'll always
have the terminal lounge.
♪ The world will always
welcome lovers ♪
♪ As time goes ♪
♪ By ♪♪
[applause]
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
We're gonna take
a short break, but..
...I bet you won't even know
we're gone.
(man on PA system)
'Passenger Wilson, please pick
up flight courtesy call.'
'Passenger Wilson.'
Well..
Hey, Jess, I really
like the new band.
Thank you.
They really make you
look, uh, young.
Do me a favor,
and point me to the restroom.
Sure.
Jess, honey, is this
really what you wanna do?
No, this is really
what I have to do.
Uh, sing "Glow-Worm"
in an airport lounge?
I'll admit it's not
the coolest gig in the world
but it's still music,
and you gotta admit
Irv is one bad mama
in his own right.
Jess, what about your music?
You can't give up on that.
I'm not giving up on my music.
I'm still gonna
work on my music.
And if I get lucky,
you know, it will be great.
I'll get a shot, but..
...right now, I gotta
contribute to my family.
But you do contribute.
You're a great husband.
You're a great father.
No, I'm talking about money.
Now, whether I make
a million dollars or one dollar
I can't just let you go to work,
and-and make all the money
for this family, I'm a man, you
know, maybe I'm old-fashioned
but that's who I am.
And that's who I love.
Sweetie, I'm really sorry
if I hurt your feelings.
And if you think it's important
to be a diplomat
then I back you 100 percent.
Thank you.
What's important is
the tuneage in this joint.
We gotta work on this playlist.
Alright, Dips.
Guys, come on now.
I know deep, deep down
inside you
there's gotta be some kind
of wild rock 'n' roll maniac
just dying to get out, huh?
Alright, we'll fake it.
A little rock 'n' roll music
in E
shall we, fellas?
Here we go.
♪ Just let me hear
some of that rock ♪
♪ Rock roll
rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ Rock roll ♪
That's it. Swing with it,
boys. Swing it.
Irv, hit me, babe.
Hit me, Irv.
That's it.
♪ Rock roll
rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ Rock roll
rock 'n' roll ♪
Oh, my neck.
I'm cured.
♪ If you wanna dance with me ♪
♪ If you wanna dance with me ♪♪
[theme music]
♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪