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[instrumental music]
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And now for your bedtime story.
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"The Cat In The Hat"
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by Dr. Seuss.
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Excuse me, why is it called,
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"The Cat In The Hat?"
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Um, because it wouldn't
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have the same ring to it
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if it was,
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"The Cat In The Vest."
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Very interesting.
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Now let's begin our story.
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"The sun did not shine."
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Excuse me, how come
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the sun didn't shine?
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Because it was raining.
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Very, very interesting.
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"It was too wet to play.
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"So we sat in the house
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all that cold, cold wet day."
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Excuse me, what day
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of the week was it?
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Excuse me.
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I just figured out
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your little plan.
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You are asking me
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questions after every sentence
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so I'll be reading you this
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story for the next two hours
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and you will
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never go to sleep.
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You're pretty smart, Michelle.
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You're pretty smart, too.
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[instrumental music]
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[John Stamos singing
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"Full House Theme Song"]
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♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
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♪ Aah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman
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the paper boy ♪
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♪ Evenin' TV ♪
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♪ How did I get
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to livin' here ♪
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♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
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♪ This whole world's
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confusing me ♪
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♪ Clouds as mean
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as you'll ever see ♪
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♪ Ain't a bird
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who knows your tune ♪
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♪ Then a little voice ♪
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♪ Inside you whispers ♪
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♪ Kid don't sell
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your dreams so soon ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there ♪
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♪ And you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting ♪
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♪ To carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Dooby doo baa ba daa ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Mm...check this out,
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boys. Daddy's cookies.
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Have a little whiff.
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There you go.
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Times like this, I bet, you
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wish you guys had teeth, huh?
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Come on, you guys want to swing?
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Let's swing.
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Here we go.
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- Hey, Jess.
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- 'Hi, Danny.'
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Ooh, cookies.
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I'll get the milk.
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Hi, my boys. Hi!
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- Hi, sweetie.
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- Hey, Beck.
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Oh, look at that
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gingerbread man.
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No, not just
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gingerbread men.
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I have a whole
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gingerbread family.
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Gingerbread Rebecca.
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Isn't she a fox?
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Have mercy.
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Your gingerbread Danny.
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Notice the resemblance there.
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With the nose
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and the whole..
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[Becky laughing]
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...and, of course,
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your gingerbread Joey.
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There you go.
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Why am I bald?
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Sorry, Joey, I, uh..
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...used the last bit
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of frosting on my hair.
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[chuckles]
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You know, you better get
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a record deal real soon.
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[timer dings]
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Well, in the meantime,
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I may have a job for you.
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I need a song
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to introduce cartoons
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on the "Ranger Joe Show."
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I need something snappy.
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Would you do it?
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Would you do it?
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Would you?
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Would you?
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Would you?
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Would you?
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Joey...I don't do snappy.
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You know, you get paid a royalty
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every time they play your song.
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- Call me Mr. Snappy.
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- Hm.
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- Hi.
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- 'Hey, how's it going?'
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- 'Hi, girl!'
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- Gingerbread cookies.
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(Stephanie)
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'I have big, big news!'
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[indistinct chatter]
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I have big news, people.
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Michelle, wait, I don't want
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you to spoil your dinner, honey.
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[whistles]
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Thank you.
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As I was saying,
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I have big, big news.
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I'm talking large.
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I'm talking huge.
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I'm talking massively gigundo!
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You're talking
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too much. What is it?
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You are looking
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at the Spelling Bee champion
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of Mr. Lowry's
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fourth grade class.
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(all)
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Steph, that's wonderful!
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Honey, could you get down?
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You're getting
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the seat cushion dirty.
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Wait, there's more news.
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This Friday
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I'm in the finals
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for best speller
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in the fourth grade.
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That's terrific, Steph!
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If you make best in school
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you could go on
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to city and then the state
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and then you could
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become the national champion.
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We could all meet the President.
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Dad, calm down.
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I'm never gonna beat Davey Chu.
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He's the smartest kid in school!
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They call him,
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"The Human Dictionary."
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Well, Steph, I don't want
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to hear
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that kind
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of negative attitude.
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If you wanna be a winner,
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you got to think like a winner.
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That's right.
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[as Popeye]
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Listen up, human dictionary.
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Stephanie Tanner's gonna
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tear you vowel from vowel
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then eat your
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consonants for lunch.
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Grrr!
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You're right.
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Davey Chu, prepare
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to be pulverized!
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P-U-L-V-E-R-I-Z-E-D.
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Pulverized!
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Grr!
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There you go.
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Steph, you're gonna do great.
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Yeah, you've been
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reading since you were four.
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Hey, I'm five.
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How come I can't read?
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Well, honey, not everyone
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starts to read at the same age.
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I'm sure you'll read very soon.
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I want to read right now.
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Michelle, where are you going
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with my paper?
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To the bathroom.
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That's where Joey reads.
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Gentlemen, may I present
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the "Ranger Joe Cartoon"
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theme song in C major?
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Jesse Katsopolis, composer.
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♪ Giddyup giddyup ♪
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♪ Giddyup and go ♪
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♪ Here's another
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great cartoon ♪
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♪ From Ranger Joe ♪♪
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Yee-haw!
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- Well?
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- Mm-hmm.
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What do you think?
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- Totally wrong.
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- What "totally wrong?"
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[gibberish]
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What was the guns and the thing
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and the swinging and all that?
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Jess, it just doesn't have
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that childlike quality
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I'm looking for.
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Childlike? Joseph, kids loved
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it. Lo-look at these kids.
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I mean look at their faces,
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they're elated!
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Jess, I need something a little
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more cartooney, something like..
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♪ It's time
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for another carto-o-on ♪♪
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I tell you what, I'll lend you
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a videotape
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of my favorite cartoons.
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In not time at all
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you'll be a cartoon aficionado.
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Thanks.
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I'm so excited.
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Hello, my beautiful
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daughter, Michelle.
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We're gonna use this
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super-duper deluxe letter board
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to help you to learn to read.
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I know how
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to read, watch.
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"The sun did not shine.
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It was too wet to play."
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Actually, sweetheart,
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what-what you were reading
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on that page, there..
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...it says, "Copyright 1957."
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How come we never
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read that part?
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Michelle, I think it's wonderful
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that you wanna learn
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to read books.
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But you can't just memorize
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what I read
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to you every night.
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Why not?
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Because it will
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start to catch up
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with you around college.
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Let's start off,
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sweetheart, by learning
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the sound of each letter, okay?
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- Like A is for--
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- Apple.
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That's right.
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But I have a system
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that is going to make
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learning to read even more fun.
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Okay, this is
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daddy's special system.
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A is for Ajax.
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B..
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...is for Brillo.
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C..
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...Clorox.
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It's gone!
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Gone, gone, gone!
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- What's "gone?"
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- My brain!
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The Spelling Bee's tomorrow
294
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,868
and I can't remember
295
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,868
how to spell success!
296
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,703
How many Cs and how many Ss!
297
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,705
And where the heck do they go!
298
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,041
Steph, get a grip.
299
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,041
You're a winner, remember?
300
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,669
All you need
301
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,669
is a mnemonic device.
302
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,171
What the heck is that?
303
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,214
It must be for cleaning.
304
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,260
No, a mnemonic device
305
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,260
is a little trick
306
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,137
I have to help you remember.
307
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,139
Like take
308
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,139
the word, success.
309
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,849
What you do is, double the C
310
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:39,102
double the S and you
311
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:39,102
will always have success.
312
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,228
Got it?
313
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,147
Double the C, double the S.
314
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,858
S-U-C-C-E-S-S.
315
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,360
- Success!
316
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,360
- That's right.
317
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,195
And if you're having
318
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,195
any trouble with words..
319
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,863
...a mnemonic device
320
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,863
will help you.
321
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:53,241
Davey Chu's going to wish
322
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:53,241
he never learned the alphabet.
323
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,577
I can spell alphabet.
324
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,746
♪ A B C D E F G ♪
325
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,957
♪ H I J K L M N O P ♪
326
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,168
♪ Q R S T U V ♪
327
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,253
♪ W X Y and Z ♪
328
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,840
♪ Now I know my ABC ♪
329
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:12,386
♪ Next time won't you
330
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:12,386
sing with me ♪♪
331
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,725
Well, the word, alphabet,
332
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,725
is in there someplace.
333
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,060
Okay, sweetheart, ready?
334
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,145
D is for Drano.
335
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,280
Come Stephanie.
336
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,280
Doesn't she look smart?
337
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,824
Of course, she does,
338
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,824
intelligence runs in our family.
339
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,076
[camera clicks]
340
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,618
It must have
341
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,618
skipped a generation.
342
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,496
You left
343
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,496
the lens cap on.
344
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,543
Boy, that trophy's gonna look
345
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,543
nice in my bedroom.
346
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,627
Only if I let you borrow it.
347
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,259
You're going down, Chu.
348
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,515
And it's all thanks
349
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,515
to two little words
350
00:09:58,557 --> 00:10:00,808
mnemonic device.
351
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,810
[smirks]
352
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,810
Dream on, Tanner.
353
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,312
They don't call me
354
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,312
"the human dictionary"
355
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,273
'cause I'm good at kickball.
356
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:10,151
Good afternoon, parents,
357
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:10,151
students, and friends.
358
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,945
[camera clicks]
359
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,656
Welcome to the fourth grade
360
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,656
spelling championship.
361
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:16,824
Now, I'd like to introduce
362
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,494
the top spellers
363
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,494
in the fourth grade!
364
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,995
Frannie Weisberg!
365
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,581
[crowd applauding]
366
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,374
'Randy Gaines!'
367
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,042
'Davey Chu!'
368
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:29,379
'And our first speller,
369
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:29,379
Stephanie Tanner.'
370
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,005
[cheering]
371
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:37,554
Stephanie..
372
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,973
...your first
373
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,973
word is, "mnemonic."
374
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,058
Mnemonic.
375
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,943
Would you repeat
376
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,943
the word, please?
377
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:55,029
The word is, "mnemonic."
378
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,240
And a very fine word it is.
379
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,785
Uh, mnemonic.
380
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,746
A device or trick to help
381
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,746
you remember things, mnemonic.
382
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,040
Stephanie, this is
383
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,040
not a definition bee.
384
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,875
I need the spelling.
385
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,254
Spelling? Oh, I'll
386
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,254
give you spelling.
387
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,464
Rhododendron.
388
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:16,384
R-H-O-D-O-D-E-N-D-R-O-N.
389
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:16,384
Rhododendron.
390
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:20,054
You have ten seconds
391
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:20,054
to spell mnemonic.
392
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,517
Mnemonic.
393
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,894
N-E-M-O-N-I-C.
394
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,894
Mnemonic.
395
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:30,273
- Yeah!
396
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:30,273
- Yeah! Great, honey!
397
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:33,901
Uh, I'm afraid that's
398
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:33,901
incorrect, Stephanie.
399
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:37,030
'The next speller
400
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:37,030
is Davey Chu.'
401
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:42,619
Mnemonic.
402
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:45,830
M-N-E-M-O-N-I-C.
403
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,332
- Mnemonic.
404
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,332
- Correct.
405
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,083
[crowd applauding]
406
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,545
Now, that eliminates
407
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,545
Stephanie Tanner.
408
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,129
Thank you, Stephanie.
409
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:55,131
What?
410
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:55,131
That's it?
411
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:58,385
I did all that studying
412
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:58,385
for one lousy word?
413
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,136
Come on, have a heart!
414
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,556
- Give me a do-over.
415
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,556
- 'Do-over.'
416
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,016
(all)
417
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,016
Do-over.
418
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,727
Please, can I have
419
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,727
another chance?
420
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,855
Any other word.
421
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,855
Any other word!
422
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,357
I'm sorry, Stephanie.
423
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,443
You can take your seat
424
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,443
with the class, sweetheart.
425
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,903
Alright.
426
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:21,115
Okay, our next speller
427
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:21,115
is Randy Gaines.
428
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,036
Randy..
429
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,830
...your first word
430
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,830
is, "incandescent."
431
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,207
Incandescent.
432
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,000
I-N-C-A-N-D-E-S-C--
433
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:33,836
Stephanie, sweetheart,
434
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:33,836
you've already been eliminated.
435
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,006
Eliminated.
436
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,006
E-L-I-M-I-N-A-T-E-D. Eliminated.
437
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,138
DJ, DJ, come here!
438
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:47,267
Michelle, what is it?
439
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,936
Look, I could
440
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,936
read your name. DJ.
441
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:53,814
Michelle, that's very good.
442
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,692
Do you want to try
443
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,692
something a little harder?
444
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,527
Sure.
445
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,497
I heard this was good.
446
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,999
Let's hold off on "The Hobbit."
447
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,834
Have a seat.
448
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,794
Let's start
449
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,794
with this word, right here.
450
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,046
Now, do you know
451
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,046
what this says?
452
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,424
That's my name, "Michelle!"
453
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,760
Ah, but do you know
454
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,760
why it says, "Michelle?"
455
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,886
I have no idea.
456
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:26,889
Well, let's start with the M.
457
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,142
Do you know
458
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,142
what sound does that makes?
459
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,227
Mm...like, "Mop & Glow."
460
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,440
I see you've been
461
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,440
studying with dad.
462
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,775
Now for the I.
463
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:38,693
Do you know
464
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:38,693
what sound does that makes?
465
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,153
Piece of cake.
466
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,781
I, like eye.
467
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,324
Well, not exactly.
468
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,992
That eye starts with an E.
469
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,994
It sounds like an I,
470
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,994
but it isn't.
471
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,121
But that I in your name,
472
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,121
doesn't sound like the I
473
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,289
that starts with the E.
474
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,167
It sounds like I as in, it.
475
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,002
If you say so.
476
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,923
You see, Michelle, vowels have
477
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,923
long sounds and short sounds.
478
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,593
And if the vowel is long,
479
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,593
it says its own name.
480
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,428
A, E, I, O, U.
481
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,971
If the vowel is short
482
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,306
it has a different sound.
483
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:12,143
Aah, eh, ih,
484
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:12,143
ah and uh.
485
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,353
Huh?
486
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,357
Right! Just like, huh.
487
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,652
However, a short vowel
488
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,652
can be changed into a long vowel
489
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,696
if the word has a silent E
490
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,864
like the word "date."
491
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:28,201
If you take off that E,
492
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:28,201
the word becomes "dat."
493
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,452
But that's a really bad example
494
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:32,079
because dat
495
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:32,079
is not a real word.
496
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,667
I'm never going to learn
497
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,667
how to read.
498
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:38,044
I guess I didn't
499
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:38,044
help much, did I?
500
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,920
Duh!
501
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,883
Mnemonic has a silent M?
502
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,009
Whoever heard of a silent M?
503
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,093
Silent Cake, yeah. Maybe.
504
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,178
[doorbell ringing]
505
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,221
Steph, hold it, right there,
506
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,140
We've to talk about this.
507
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,226
Is Stephanie home?
508
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,226
She forgot her ribbon.
509
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,561
Steph, would you look at that?
510
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,563
Davey brought you your ribbon.
511
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,189
Hot dog.
512
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,276
Mind if I put
513
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,276
this trophy down?
514
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,653
It's really heavy.
515
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,613
That trophy would be mine
516
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,783
if they didn't give me
517
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,783
the one word I didn't know.
518
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,452
Uh, Davey, what Steph means
519
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,452
to say is, congratulations.
520
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,039
What I mean is, I can
521
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,039
outspell him anytime.
522
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,166
Come on, Chu.
523
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,166
Right here, right now.
524
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,170
If you beat me again
525
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,089
I'll carry your lunch tray
526
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,089
for a week.
527
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,716
- Books too?
528
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,716
- Books too.
529
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,427
- And buy me ice cream?
530
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,427
- Don't push it.
531
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,306
Okay, you're on.
532
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,016
Steph, are you sure
533
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,016
you wanna do this?
534
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,185
This is the guy who knew
535
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,185
how to spell ecclesiastical.
536
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,395
Ecclesiastical.
537
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,356
E-C-C-L-E-S-I-A-S-T-I-C-A-L.
538
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,650
Ecclesiastical.
539
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,818
[chuckles]
540
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,446
Alright.
541
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,446
Let the games begin.
542
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,531
I'll get the dictionary.
543
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:51,910
- Hey, Jess.
544
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:51,910
- Hey.
545
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,286
How's my theme song coming?
546
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,537
Uh, did you come up
547
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,537
with anything like..
548
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,874
♪ It's time
549
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,874
for another cartoon ♪♪
550
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,876
You know, Joseph, I've, uh,
551
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,876
spent a couple of hours
552
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,335
watching some of your
553
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,335
favorite cartoons
554
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,588
and I came with a very
555
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,588
important conclusion.
556
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,965
You're a sick man.
557
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:07,634
But I did come up
558
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:07,634
with the perfect song.
559
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,803
I've programmed
560
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,803
some-some sound effects
561
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,178
in this whole thing and I think
562
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,178
you're going to love it.
563
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,265
- Listen, it goes like this.
564
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,265
- Great. Okay.
565
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,391
♪ Oh look out ♪
566
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,476
[crash]
567
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,560
♪ Duck ♪
568
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:18,519
[quack quack]
569
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:22,148
♪ Crash and kaboom ♪
570
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:25,777
♪ Here comes another
571
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:25,777
Ranger Joe Cartoon ♪♪
572
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,487
[boom]
573
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,406
[beep beep]
574
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,034
Huh? Huh? Huh?
575
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,371
Now-now-now, Jess, I want
576
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,371
to say this nicely.
577
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,706
I hate it.
578
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,458
Hate? What, ha-hate
579
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,458
is such a strong word.
580
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,043
What do you-what do you want,
581
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,043
Something stupid like, uh, uh..
582
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,087
♪ Here comes
583
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,087
another cartoon ♪♪
584
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,214
[boing]
585
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,926
- That's it.
586
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,926
- What's it?
587
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:51,469
That note, that-that boing
588
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,720
whatever you hit,
589
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,720
that's perfect.
590
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,347
Jess, you are a musical genius.
591
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,599
- That's my theme song.
592
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,599
- What are you talking about?
593
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,143
[stammering]
594
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,143
That's the stupid song
595
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,143
you've been singing for days.
596
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,353
I didn't write that song.
597
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,353
You wrote that song.
598
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,772
Are you gonna pay me for that?
599
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,315
You're right.
600
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,067
I did write that.
601
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,067
Hey, thanks for trying.
602
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,403
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
603
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,403
Wait! What about my..
604
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,488
[boing]
605
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,698
[gibberish]
606
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:12,949
You owe me, Gladstone.
607
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,659
Without my boing
608
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,659
you got nothing!
609
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,496
B-E-N-I-G-N.
610
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,496
Benign.
611
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,456
That's correct.
612
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:24,084
Okay, Steph,
613
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:24,084
it's your word.
614
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,503
"Trigonometry."
615
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,587
Trigonometry.
616
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,757
T-R-I-G-O-N-O-M-E-T-R-Y.
617
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,134
- Trigonometry.
618
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,134
- Yes! That's my girl.
619
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,847
I mean, correct.
620
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:39,392
Okay, Davey, spell..
621
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,727
..."Photosynthesis."
622
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,483
Hey, Michelle, how's your
623
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,483
reading coming along?
624
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,737
I quit.
625
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,737
I'm too dumb to read.
626
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:54,448
Hey, now, that kind of talk
627
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:54,448
stops right here, young lady.
628
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,117
Come here, I want
629
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,117
to talk to you.
630
00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:00,413
Now...if anyone knows
631
00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:00,413
about being dumb
632
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,164
it's your Uncle Jesse.
633
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,753
There, le-let me go back
634
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,753
and rephrase that.
635
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,671
Now see, when
636
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,671
I was in first grade
637
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,339
uh, there-there were
638
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,339
two kinda reading groups.
639
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,966
There were the bluebirds
640
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,966
and the robins.
641
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,718
And I was a robin
642
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,718
and everyone knew
643
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,302
the robins were kinda
644
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,302
slow readers.
645
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,764
So I thought that meant
646
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,764
that I was dumb.
647
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,558
So instead of, uh, spending
648
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,558
my time trying to learn to read
649
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,810
I-I spent all my time
650
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,810
beating up the bluebirds.
651
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,355
So you're dumb like me?
652
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,315
I wasn't dumb, that's the point
653
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,315
I'm trying to make.
654
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,985
I thought I was dumb,
655
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,985
so I gave up trying.
656
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,653
I mean, I got bad grades
657
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,653
for a long time
658
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,655
and then I realized
659
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,655
that I'm a smart guy.
660
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,282
And I'm not gonna let
661
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,282
the same thing happen to you
662
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,367
because you're
663
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,367
a smart girl, young lady.
664
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,912
Oh, puh-lease!
665
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,497
Oh, puh-lease, yourself.
666
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,999
Now, to start reading
667
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,501
all you have to learn
668
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,501
is one really cool word, okay?
669
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,921
And I'm gonna teach
670
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,921
it to you right now.
671
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,464
You're ready?
672
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:55,009
Here is the word...Okay?
673
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,762
Now, in this word,
674
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,762
the A sounds like aah.
675
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:01,223
Here we go again.
676
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,017
You just stick
677
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,017
with your Uncle J, okay?
678
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,728
The A sounds like aah
679
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,728
and the T sound's like..
680
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,146
What-what sound does the T make?
681
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:08,272
Tuh.
682
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,774
That's right. Tuh.
683
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,233
Okay, now, put them together
684
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,233
and what do you get?
685
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,695
"Atuh.
686
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,695
Atuh.
687
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,489
Atuh.
688
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,489
At!"
689
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,574
That's it!
690
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,574
At, you just read, at.
691
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:19,951
I did?
692
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:22,411
Yeah, you did.
693
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:22,411
That's great.
694
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:25,790
Now, now, what sound
695
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:25,790
does the letter C make?
696
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,042
Kuh, like Clorox.
697
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:32,046
I see your dad's
698
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:32,046
been teaching you.
699
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,714
Alright. Kuh.
700
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,714
Now, here we go.
701
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,382
Kuh and at, put them together.
702
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,802
- What do get?
703
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,802
- "Kuh-at."
704
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:38,803
Faster.
705
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,054
"Kuh-at."
706
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,599
"Cat!"
707
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,599
I read cat.
708
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,601
She just read another word,
709
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,601
ladies and gentlemen!
710
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,186
This chick is on fire.
711
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,271
Reading high fives.
712
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,271
Can you dig it?
713
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,816
I knew that you could. Alright.
714
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:52,900
Let's try another one.
715
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,235
The ever popular H.
716
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,279
Okay? Now what does that say?
717
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,198
"Huh-at.
718
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,198
Hat!"
719
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,366
Alright!
720
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:03,661
I did it again.
721
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:03,661
I'm unbelievable!
722
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,079
[cheering]
723
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,956
Yes!
724
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,582
I'm so proud of you.
725
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,582
That's terrific!
726
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:09,792
Now, I'll tell you something.
727
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:10,960
We'll just read
728
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:10,960
a little each day
729
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:12,336
and before you know it
730
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,796
you're gonna be reading
731
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,796
a book. I promise.
732
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,214
Which book?
733
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,216
Well, hey-hey, this
734
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,216
is the perfect one.
735
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:20,136
Now watch. Now, when I point
736
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:20,136
to a word, you say it, okay?
737
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:21,971
- "The.."
738
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:21,971
- "Cat."
739
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:24,348
- "In the.."
740
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:24,348
- "Hat."
741
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,101
Right on, sister.
742
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:30,813
[gibberish]
743
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,524
E-P-I-P-H-A-N-Y.
744
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,859
Epiphany.
745
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,360
That's correct.
746
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,405
Stephanie, I'm sorry,
747
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,405
I got to go home for dinner.
748
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,908
Hey, if you quit,
749
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,908
you forfeit, Chumeister.
750
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,450
Dad, next word, please.
751
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,913
This is gonna
752
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,913
be the last word, alright?
753
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,664
"Sarsaparilla."
754
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,083
Sarsaparilla.
755
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,501
S-A-S-P-A-R-I-L-L-A.
756
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,294
Sarsaparilla.
757
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,672
I'm sorry, Steph.
758
00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:58,883
Why?
759
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,595
Because it's sarsaparilla.
760
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:07,433
S-A-R-S-A-P-A-R-I-L-L-A.
761
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:09,018
Sarsaparilla.
762
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,561
Man, that's right.
763
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,522
You are the human
764
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,522
dictionary, aren't you?
765
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:14,941
Now there's a silent R?
766
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,901
I hate this language.
767
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,194
Steph..
768
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:20,446
I got to go home for dinner.
769
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,532
Well, Mr. Tanner, I must say,
770
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,532
it's been quite a delectation.
771
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:27,661
Yeah. It certainly has.
772
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,956
Delectation.
773
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,416
Better not be a put-down.
774
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,461
Steph?
775
00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:37,546
I'm really
776
00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:37,546
disappointed in you.
777
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:39,215
I know. You said
778
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:39,215
I was a winner.
779
00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:41,759
But let's face it.
780
00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:41,759
I'm a loser.
781
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:44,053
I'm not disappointed
782
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:44,053
in you because you lost.
783
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:46,139
I'm disappointed
784
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:46,139
because of the way you lost.
785
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:47,890
Honey, you were a sore loser.
786
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:50,059
That's because I hate losing.
787
00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,103
Nobody likes to lose.
788
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,063
But everybody loses sometimes.
789
00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:55,898
You did your best,
790
00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:55,898
you tried your hardest
791
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:58,067
and Davey beat you
792
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:58,067
fair and square.
793
00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,568
Why didn't you
794
00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,568
congratulate him?
795
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,404
'Cause I was mad.
796
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:03,614
Were you mad at him for winning
797
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,033
or were you mad
798
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,033
at yourself for losing?
799
00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,326
Do I have to answer that?
800
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:08,828
Yeah.
801
00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:12,623
I guess I was mad at myself.
802
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,875
I just wanted to be the best.
803
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,794
You are.
804
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,462
You're the best speller
805
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,462
in your class.
806
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:20,089
You might even be
807
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:20,089
the best speller in this house.
808
00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,299
- Dad?
809
00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,299
- Okay.
810
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,802
You are the best speller
811
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,802
in this house.
812
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,680
Sweetheart, you have to be proud
813
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,680
of your accomplishments.
814
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:30,057
But no matter
815
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:30,057
how good you are at something
816
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:32,143
there'll always maybe
817
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:32,143
a Davey Chu out there
818
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:35,271
who might be just a little bit
819
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:35,271
better then you are.
820
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:37,439
It's just as important
821
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:37,439
to be a good loser
822
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:38,607
as it is to be
823
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:38,607
a good winner, honey
824
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:43,487
You're right.
825
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:43,487
I'm sorry, dad.
826
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,323
I can't wait till I lose again
827
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,323
so I can show you
828
00:22:45,363 --> 00:22:47,616
how good I am at it.
829
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:50,452
Now you're talking like
830
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:50,452
a winner. Come here.
831
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:53,080
[moaning]
832
00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:00,129
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
833
00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:11,265
[instrumental music]