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[theme music]
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Oh, Michelle, look at you.
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Your very first cleaning belt.
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Honey, it seems
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like only yesterday
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you could barely
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hold a Handi Wipe and..
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Now look at you, sweetheart,
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you got your own squeegee.
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I'm really growing up.
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Yes, you are.
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You know, I'm gonna tell you
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a little secret.
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D.J. and Stephanie, they've
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never really fully appreciated
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the beauty of tidiness.
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But you, Michelle,
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you are the one
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that can carry
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the Tanner tradition
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of total cleanliness
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into the 21st century.
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I can do it.
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I know you can.
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Because what are we?
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We're the lean, mean,
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cleaning machine.
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Let the spring-cleaning begin.
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Oh, you know what,
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before we call the others in
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let's practice
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your squeegee technique
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on this table,
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right here, okay?
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Okay, take out
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your squeegee.
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Now, feet spread
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slightly apart.
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'Shoulders level.'
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'Okay, choke up
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on the handle.'
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Now, keep your eye
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on the dirt at all times.
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'Do it, baby.'
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You're a natural.
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I learned from the best.
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[instrumental music]
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[Jesse Frederick singing
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"Everywhere You Look"]
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♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
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♪ Ahh ♪
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♪ What ever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milk man
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the paper boy evening TV ♪
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♪ How did I get to livin' here ♪
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♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
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♪ This old world's ♪
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♪ Confusing me ♪
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♪ Clouds as mean
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as you've ever seen ♪
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♪ Ain't a bird that
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knows your tune ♪
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♪ Then a little voice
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inside you whispers ♪
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♪ Kid don't sell your
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dreams so soon ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you go ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you go ♪
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♪ There's a place ♪
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♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there
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and you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting ♪
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♪ To carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Chip-a-dee-ba-ba-dow ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Ready? Ah, peekaboo.
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'Oh.'
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'Where's Mommy?'
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Peekaboo.
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Where's Mommy? Ah.
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Peekaboo.
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Where's Mommy?
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(Joey)
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'Behind your hands.
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What am I, a dummy?'
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Joey.
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[gasps]
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Joey, look!
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'Nicky's crawling!'
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My baby can crawl!
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Oh, my gosh, Becky,
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your son's turned into a walrus.
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Jess! Jess, come quick!
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Oh, your dad is gonna be
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so proud of you.
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What?
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Jess, you have to see
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what Nicky did.
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Hey, it's your turn
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to change him.
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No, Jess,
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Nicky can crawl. Look.
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Doesn't, uh, crawling involve
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some sort of movement?
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Well, I swear, honey,
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he was just crawling up
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a storm a minute ago.
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Go get the camera.
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- So we can video tape it.
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- Alright.
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- 'Jess! Quick!'
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- What?
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Kid's a potato.
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Jess, I swear he was really
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hauling tush.
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Yeah, it's true, honey.
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He doesn't do it
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when you're around.
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Then fine. I'll just sit here
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until he crawls, that's all.
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- 'Jess!'
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- 'What?'
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Nothing.
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Guess what day it is?
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It's spring-cleaning day.
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The happiest day
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of the year.
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Alright, gang.
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Come on, let's humor him.
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It's time to clean.
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Let's squeegee!
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Dad, do we have
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to do this today?
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The dirt will be here
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next weekend.
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Yeah, it's the first
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sunny day in weeks.
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Don't worry, you guys are gonna
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get to go outside.
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One of your jobs is to,
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"polish and clean the mailbox."
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Hot dog.
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Alright, Danny, it's your own
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personal Christmas.
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What fun you have
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in store for us today?
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Well, this could be
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the most exciting
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spring-cleaning since '88.
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Oh, yeah,
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that was the year I got to
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simonize the rain gutters.
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Hey, Jess,
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maybe you can take
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a crack at the rain gutters
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this year.
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My ship has finally
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come in.
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Okay, everybody.
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It is time for the traditional
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handing out of the assignments.
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Okay. Excuse me.
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Each area of responsibility
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has been personally selected
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to reflect the strengths
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and abilities
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of each and every member
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of the cleaning crew.
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Oh, man,
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I got toilets again?
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Well, who knows them
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better than you, really?
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What's my job, Daddy?
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What's your job?
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You get to be Daddy's
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special helper.
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I'm Daddy's
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special helper.
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Well, pin a rose
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on your nose.
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Okay, troops, dirt is the enemy
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we take no prisoners.
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Now, get out there
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and make me proud.
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On your mark,
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get set, clean!
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♪ Grab your Brillo
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and your broom ♪
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♪ Grab your Brillo
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and your broom ♪
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♪ Danny is a loony tune ♪
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♪ Danny is a loony tune ♪
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♪ Sound off ♪♪
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How did I get stuck
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waxing this guy?
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Hola, Tanneritos.
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- Hi, Kimmy.
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- Come on, Deej.
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The football team's
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having a car wash.
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If we hurry, we can see
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the entire defensive of line
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in wet tank tops.
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Sorry, Kimmy,
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but we're doing spring-cleaning.
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Hey, dad will be happy.
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There's only one wad of Joey's
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gum under here this year.
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Alright, I'm finished
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with the fireplace.
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Let's see, what's next?
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Clean the logs?
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Well, there. I finished cleaning
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every toilet in the house.
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They're spotless.
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So if you have to go
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to the bathroom
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please go to
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the Texaco station.
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What's wrong
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with you people?
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How can you get
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this house any cleaner?
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It's already the
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cleanest house in America.
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For the first time, Gibbler
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actually is making some sense.
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Had to happen
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some time.
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- Fresh sponges.
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- Get them while they're hot.
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Danny, we don't need
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sponges, alright.
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We did all our jobs,
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the house is clean.
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- We're out of here.
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- Right, we'll see you later.
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Bye.
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(Danny)
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'Freeze!'
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Are you're telling me
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you guys have cleaned
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this entire house
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in two hours?
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Oh, puh-lease.
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Danny, we've been working here.
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Check the statue.
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Okay, I'll do just that.
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Get my trusty rag
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out here.
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Okay.
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Little wax in his ear,
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but, uh, not bad.
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Okay, let's move on.
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Jesse, I believe your job
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was to clean the fireplace.
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Special helper,
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white glove, please.
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My pleasure.
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We never clean at my house.
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We move in, trash the place
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for five years,
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then move out.
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Okay, here we go.
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Just check in here.
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Ha.
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Well..
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...what do we have here?
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Yes, what do we have here?
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Man, it's just a little soot.
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[scoffs]
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Just a little soot?
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Did you hear that, Michelle?
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I'm afraid I did.
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You know, I've been making
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random inspections
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of every room in the house
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and so far
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I've found the following,
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mold, mildew
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fungus, soap scum.
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[gasps]
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Not soap scum.
295
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,751
- Yes, soap scum.
296
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,751
- Ooh!
297
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:23,878
Guys, come on.
298
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,713
Once a year I ask you
299
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,713
all to roll up your sleeves
300
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,132
and really do a job
301
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,132
on this house.
302
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,216
Now, if you're gonna do a job
303
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:29,426
you gotta give it 100%.
304
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:30,802
Otherwise, let's not
305
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:30,802
do a job at all.
306
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,304
Hey, let's not
307
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,304
do the job at all.
308
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,514
- Sounds good.
309
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,514
- 'Oh, come on.'
310
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,808
I know you don't mean that.
311
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,353
You all take as much pride
312
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,353
in a clean house as I do.
313
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,396
Now, let's get back
314
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,396
out there and really clean.
315
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,940
And when you're all done, I got
316
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,940
a special surprise for you.
317
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,942
You're taking us
318
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,942
to Happy Mountain?
319
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,819
No, it's even better
320
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,819
than that, honey.
321
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,114
I'm putting new shelf paper
322
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,114
in all of your closets.
323
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,491
Yay!
324
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,285
What?
325
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,373
[instrumental music]
326
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,667
Everyone, come in.
327
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,667
I have to tell you something.
328
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,793
- What?
329
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,793
- Come on.
330
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,045
What is it?
331
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:10,050
Is it just me, or is Dad
332
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:10,050
worse than ever this year?
333
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,385
Hey, there's nothin' wrong
334
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,385
with your dad
335
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,053
wanting to be little clean.
336
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,139
Alright, wanting to be
337
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,139
very clean.
338
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:21,228
Alright, he's a psycho
339
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:21,228
with a dust mop.
340
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,731
It's not just the cleaning.
341
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,731
He gets so carried away.
342
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:27,650
He's the only parent who packs
343
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:27,650
a coaster in your lunch.
344
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,737
What about all his rules?
345
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:34,241
Does it really matter if you
346
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:34,241
chew each bite of food 24 times?
347
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,451
Yesterday, I only did it 22
348
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,829
and let me tell you,
349
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,829
it felt good.
350
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,041
Well, your dad does like
351
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,041
to pay attention to detail.
352
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,626
Every detail,
353
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,626
on every subject..
354
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,670
...in the universe.
355
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,838
What drives you crazier?
356
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,007
His-his stories or his rambles?
357
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,342
What's the difference?
358
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:54,677
Here you are.
359
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,137
Did we forget today
360
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,931
that it was spring-cleaning?
361
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,600
That's another thing.
362
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:01,935
He turned our
363
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:01,935
sweet little Michelle
364
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,271
into a junior neat freak.
365
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,813
Michelle, do you really care
366
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,813
if the inside
367
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,023
of the chimney is clean?
368
00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:09,776
Yes, I do.
369
00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:09,776
And so does Santa Claus.
370
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,821
She's totally brainwashed.
371
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,698
Everything should be washed.
372
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,867
Now let's get busy!
373
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,123
Poor kid.
374
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,123
She's really turning into Dad.
375
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,666
Yeah, before you know it,
376
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,666
she's gonna start rambling.
377
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,335
Making up crazy rules.
378
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,296
Making stupid schedules.
379
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:32,048
The last thing we need
380
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:32,048
around here is another Danny.
381
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,883
- Yeah, I hear you.
382
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,883
- Yeah.
383
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,182
[instrumental music]
384
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,029
Dad's coming down.
385
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,073
Line up for inspections.
386
00:10:57,115 --> 00:11:00,994
Do we line up by size,
387
00:10:57,115 --> 00:11:00,994
alphabetically or by age?
388
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:04,080
IQ. Joey, you're at the end
389
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:04,080
of the line.
390
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,458
Okay, everybody stand up
391
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,458
straight and look clean.
392
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,211
Ready for inspection,
393
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,211
O Prince of Tidiness.
394
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:15,008
Here's your white glove.
395
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,635
Uh, I won't be needing
396
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,635
that, honey.
397
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,261
There's not gonna be
398
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,261
any inspection.
399
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:20,180
No inspection?
400
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,599
Dad, we just cleaned
401
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,599
for four hours.
402
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,351
Well, thanks, but, uh..
403
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,019
Look, I'm gonna take
404
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,019
a little drive
405
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,229
up to the mountains and just
406
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,229
do some thinking, okay.
407
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,981
So I'll be back later.
408
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,566
You guys just
409
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,566
have a nice day.
410
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,569
[instrumental music]
411
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,949
[water gurgling]
412
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:44,996
Atta boy, Norman.
413
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:44,996
You're doing great.
414
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,208
Boy, the guy at the Rent-A-Burro
415
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,208
place was right.
416
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,169
I'm glad I sprang
417
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,169
for the midsize. Alright.
418
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,047
Keep going.
419
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,047
Alright! You made it.
420
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,298
Good boy!
421
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,342
Ooh.
422
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,593
Oh, yeah.
423
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,887
Oh, this feels great.
424
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,763
I'm gonna start riding
425
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,763
a burro to work every day.
426
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,893
Oh, man,
427
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,893
would you look at that.
428
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,020
Come here, Norman.
429
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,065
Right there is fine.
430
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,065
That's fine.
431
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,820
You know..
432
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,614
...I've had a lot of time
433
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,614
to think today.
434
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:23,326
Oh, man,
435
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:23,326
what an eye opener.
436
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:27,414
You should've been
437
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:27,414
in that closet with me.
438
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:30,208
People I love most in the world
439
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:30,208
think I'm nothing but a..
440
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,752
...compulsive, neurotic,
441
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,752
rambling jackass.
442
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,088
No offense.
443
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,092
How did I get
444
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,092
so messed up?
445
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,303
Guess it goes
446
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,303
back to my mom.
447
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,180
On my 5th birthday,
448
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,180
she gave me my own
449
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,182
set of vacuum cleaner
450
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,182
attachments.
451
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,644
She used to call me
452
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,644
her special helper.
453
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,855
Oh, my God.
454
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,191
That's exactly
455
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,191
what I'm doing to Michelle.
456
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,444
She-she's probably
457
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,444
gonna grow up and..
458
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,405
...write one of those tell all
459
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,405
books, "Daddy Cleanest."
460
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:06,077
I-I gotta make some
461
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:06,077
changes in my life.
462
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,163
Norman, thanks
463
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,163
for listening to me, buddy.
464
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:12,292
I guess you get a lotta guys
465
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:12,292
who come here just to talk, huh?
466
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,585
Hey, if you're ever
467
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,585
in San Francisco
468
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,503
drop by for
469
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,503
some cappuccino okay?
470
00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,131
[sighs]
471
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,425
Isn't this view amazing?
472
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,968
Oh, man.
473
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,137
Nature is just so beautiful.
474
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,097
[inhales]
475
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,891
It's so...so natural.
476
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,394
And yet...so dirty.
477
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,814
Look at this.
478
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,814
Th-there's dirt everywhere.
479
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,692
Look, look at
480
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,692
this mountain, Norman.
481
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,153
It's-It's just one
482
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,153
big pile of dirt.
483
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,574
But do you animals care
484
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,574
if the forest isn't vacuumed?
485
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,701
I saw what you did on
486
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,701
the trail back there, Norman.
487
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,750
For you guys, nature is just one
488
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,750
big restroom, isn't it?
489
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,586
[sighs]
490
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,962
You know what?
491
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,464
From now on..
492
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,133
...there's gonna be
493
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,133
a new Danny Tanner.
494
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,637
Somebody who everybody likes
495
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,637
and they wanna be around.
496
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,222
Norman, it's the dawn
497
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,222
of a new man.
498
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,890
Yeah, natural.
499
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,811
Spontaneous, carefree..
500
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,061
[inhales deeply]
501
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,689
...primitive.
502
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,816
[ululating]
503
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,568
Join me, Norman.
504
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,568
Join me.
505
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,403
[ululating]
506
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,365
[braying]
507
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,365
'Chime in, baby.'
508
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,991
[Danny ululating]
509
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,785
Alright, boys. Come on, crawl
510
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,785
for your daddy, okay?
511
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:31,538
Come on, i-it's very simple,
512
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:31,538
it's right hand, left knee.
513
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,040
Left hand, right knee.
514
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,040
Very simple. Let's take off.
515
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,416
You guys wanna race?
516
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,416
Alright, here we go.
517
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,711
On your mark, get set
518
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,711
and we out of here.
519
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,755
Let's go boys.
520
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,755
Okay, boys, come on, come..
521
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,883
Look, Joey,
522
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,883
Jess learned to crawl.
523
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,387
Oh, what a good boy.
524
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:48,638
I wanna see my kids crawl.
525
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,348
Is that too much to ask
526
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,348
for a father?
527
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,392
- Jess, look!
528
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,392
- What?
529
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,645
[babies cooing]
530
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,481
Look at this,
531
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,481
my boys are crawlin'.
532
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,608
They're mobile.
533
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,608
Alright! Boys!
534
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,235
They're not just, uh,
535
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,235
lumps of potatoes anymore.
536
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,945
They're-they're actually
537
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,945
like little Slinkies.
538
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,781
Now we're gonna have
539
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,781
to baby proof the house.
540
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,282
That's alright,
541
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,282
we'll dig their gates out.
542
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,535
Good going, boys, alright!
543
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,952
You're such a good boy.
544
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,329
Hey, you guys, do some laps
545
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,329
around the playpen
546
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:15,456
till we make this place
547
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:15,456
safe for you.
548
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,624
Dad's back.
549
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,626
Yeah, we just saw him pull up.
550
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:20,795
I'm home!
551
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,589
- Danny.
552
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,589
- Hi, how you doing?
553
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,215
- Whoa.
554
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,215
- Whoa.
555
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,845
Dad, someone has to say it.
556
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,054
You don't smell good.
557
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:32,891
Honey, I-I smell like nature.
558
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,017
Like the mountains
559
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,017
and the trees.
560
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,562
You smell like
561
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,562
a donkey to me.
562
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,064
But, hey, it's just great
563
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,064
to have you back.
564
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,358
[coughing]
565
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,360
Yeah, don't worry about it.
566
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,779
There we go.
567
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,115
Danny, aren't you gonna
568
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,115
pick that up?
569
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:51,158
Sure, next time
570
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:51,158
I go out.
571
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,745
You see, everybody,
572
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,745
I've changed all my priorities.
573
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,204
You can say goodbye
574
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,204
to Captain Clean
575
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,664
because from now on..
576
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,625
...I'm gonna live
577
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,625
my life totally natural.
578
00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,918
Hmm. Naked?
579
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,172
Oh, great, potato chips.
580
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,172
Thank you. I'm starved.
581
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,966
Mmm. Thank you.
582
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,011
Who the heck is that guy?
583
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:21,272
A man works up a powerful
584
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:21,272
thirst riding a burro.
585
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,608
Dad, you're drinking
586
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,608
from the milk carton.
587
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,443
You said that was illegal.
588
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:30,072
Well, the new law is,
589
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:30,072
hey, it's cool.
590
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,827
Danny, were you kidnapped
591
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,827
by the Grateful Dead?
592
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,502
Hey, who's the
593
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,502
tall dirty guy?
594
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,586
[sniffs]
595
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:46,005
Who smells like a donkey?
596
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,632
Hola, Gibblerito.
597
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,342
Is that really you?
598
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,719
I'll find out
599
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,719
if it's the real him.
600
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,931
The real Danny Tanner
601
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,931
would not tolerate
602
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,057
a nice glop of chocolate
603
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,143
on his nice clean refrigerator.
604
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,688
There you go.
605
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,315
What do you say to that?
606
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,483
What do I say to that?
607
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,236
I say, hey, it's cool.
608
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,239
Okay, yeah,
609
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,239
that-that's fine.
610
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,325
But so what if
611
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,325
somebody a little
612
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,702
less mature came along
613
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,371
and turned that
614
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,371
little glop of chocolate
615
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:21,541
into a smiley face, huh?
616
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,962
Daddy, do something!
617
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,756
Joey's makin' a mess!
618
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,299
I'll do something.
619
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,551
I'll add some hair.
620
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,969
There we go.
621
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,472
Alright. Perfect.
622
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,224
I'll find out if
623
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,224
it's for real.
624
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:52,238
Okay, Mr. T, have a cow
625
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:52,238
and toss my rear out of here.
626
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,616
Oh, Kimmy, I love
627
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,616
your high jinks.
628
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:59,662
Daddy, you're scaring me.
629
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,623
Oh, don't worry, honey.
630
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,792
Your dad's just
631
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,792
a fun-loving guy.
632
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,836
Not some psycho
633
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,836
with a dust mop.
634
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,256
Come on, everybody, why don't
635
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,256
we have some ice cream?
636
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,841
That'll be fun.
637
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,551
Here we go.
638
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,844
Everybody, grab a spoon.
639
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,723
No dishes?
640
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,851
No, sweetheart, we're gonna eat
641
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,851
this right out of the carton.
642
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,270
Mmm, there you go.
643
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:27,356
This is very wrong,
644
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:27,356
but I'll eat it.
645
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,402
Dig in.
646
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,402
Come on, you guys.
647
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,529
[instrumental music]
648
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,702
Oh, man.
649
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:40,870
Fix this.
650
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,371
Here we go.
651
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,998
Alright. Yeah.
652
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,959
That looks a lot more natural.
653
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,293
Okay. Oh.
654
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,797
Dad, what are you doing?
655
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:54,133
Oh, I'm, uh,
656
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:54,133
I'm un-organizing my closet.
657
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,927
What kind of nut
658
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,927
lived in here, huh?
659
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,345
Hey, Danny,
660
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,345
back in the kitchen
661
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,513
when you said
662
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,808
"psycho with a dust mop."
663
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,392
Where'd you get that from?
664
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,980
Oh, I don't know.
665
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,107
Yes, you do.
666
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,107
You heard me say it, didn't you?
667
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:14,445
Okay, uh, look, I was, uh,
668
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:14,445
putting shelf paper
669
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,655
in D.J.'s closet
670
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,115
when you all
671
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,115
were having your
672
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,825
little family meeting.
673
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:19,993
Ouch.
674
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,954
Listen, Danny, we're, uh
675
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,789
we're sorry, we're-we're
676
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,789
embarrassed by that.
677
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,624
We didn't mean those
678
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,624
things we said.
679
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,375
We're just letting
680
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,375
off a little steam, that's all.
681
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,920
No, no, what
682
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,920
you said was true.
683
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:34,132
And...and
684
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:34,132
you hurt my feelings but
685
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,843
I'm glad I know how
686
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,843
you really feel about me now.
687
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,887
A-and I've changed.
688
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,887
Let me show you.
689
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,388
Watch this.
690
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,975
No more baking soda
691
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,975
in my sock drawer.
692
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,060
There you go.
693
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,770
You girls have
694
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,770
a brand new dad.
695
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,231
I don't want a new dad.
696
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,901
I'll chew each bite 24 times,
697
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,901
just like you said.
698
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:57,030
I just want my old dad back.
699
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,033
So do I.
700
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,205
Who cares if you're
701
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,205
a neat freak?
702
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,499
If it wasn't for you,
703
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,499
I would never make my bed.
704
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,251
Me neither.
705
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,505
You guys really
706
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,505
mean all this?
707
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,423
Danny, of course we mean it.
708
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,675
You keep this family running.
709
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,926
Yeah, you keep us organized.
710
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,178
And there's nine people
711
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,178
living here.
712
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,596
Without you,
713
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,596
it'd be total chaos.
714
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,558
You know, I think
715
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,558
I went too far the other way.
716
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,601
I gotta find a balance between
717
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,601
Captain Clean
718
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,645
and Sergeant Sludge.
719
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,148
And could you help
720
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,148
Michelle find a balance?
721
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:35,902
Today, she made my bed,
722
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:35,902
and I was still in it.
723
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,948
Yeah, I guess I better have
724
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,948
a talk with my special helper.
725
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,616
But, you know what,
726
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,616
I-I gotta vacuum up
727
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,912
this baking soda first
728
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,912
'cause it's driving me crazy.
729
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:49,999
Listen, before you do that, uh,
730
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:49,999
do us all kind of a big favor.
731
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,250
Take a shower.
732
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,794
Okay. I'll be right out.
733
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,922
[instrumental music]
734
00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,842
Michelle, I, uh
735
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,928
think we have
736
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,928
to have a little talk.
737
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,345
I lined up all my animals.
738
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,765
They go to little to big.
739
00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:08,851
Look, sweetheart.
740
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,941
Why do you want
741
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,941
your animals like that?
742
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,400
Because they're neat
743
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,400
and they're clean
744
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,194
and that's the way
745
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,194
you like them.
746
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:20,905
Sweetie, come here.
747
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,033
Honey..
748
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,202
...I think it's wonderful that
749
00:21:26,244 --> 00:21:28,788
you want things neat and clean.
750
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:31,540
But sometimes your dad likes
751
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:31,540
things a little bit
752
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:33,918
too neat and too clean.
753
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,212
And too much
754
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,212
of anything is not good.
755
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,547
Even ice cream?
756
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:42,176
Yes, even ice cream.
757
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:46,264
Look, I think maybe you should
758
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:46,264
be a little less like your dad
759
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,057
and maybe a little more
760
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,057
like your sisters.
761
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:50,476
You want me to be a slob?
762
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,147
No, I don't want you
763
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,147
to be a slob.
764
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:56,523
But just because your dad
765
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:56,523
likes things neat and tidy
766
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,358
doesn't mean you have
767
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,358
to be exactly like me.
768
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,487
I just want you to be
769
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,487
Michelle Tanner.
770
00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:03,156
I can do it.
771
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:05,532
Oh. That's great, honey.
772
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:09,203
Now, are you sure you want
773
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:09,203
your animals to sleep like that?
774
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,664
Could they sleep
775
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,664
on my bed with me?
776
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:13,499
Yeah, but only
777
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:13,499
if you get in it.
778
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:14,959
Go ahead.
779
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:14,959
I'll throw them to you.
780
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,752
- Okay?
781
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,752
- Okay.
782
00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,171
Here's Blinky and Pookie.
783
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,381
Here's Jimmy.
784
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:22,508
There, here's
785
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:22,508
a little Joel bear with
786
00:22:22,549 --> 00:22:23,926
the beautiful
787
00:22:22,549 --> 00:22:23,926
little blue ribbon.
788
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:28,764
[theme music]