[theme music]
- O-o-oh!
- Bubbles.
Bubbles, yeah!
Here we go.
- Bubbles.
- Bubbles, yeah!
O-o-oh!
- Here we go.
- Hi, Joey. What's up?
Hey, Michelle!
Check out your cousins.
These guys love
to play with bubbles.
That's because
they're still babies.
Oh, so you don't play
with bubbles anymore, huh?
I'm too old for that.
Oh, well, we'll just
see about that.
Whoa, you are a tough one.
This is definitely
a job for..
...the bubble master.
Ah ha ha ha!
Here we go. Ha ha ha.
- Yeah, you're a tough one.
- I can't take it anymore!
I knew you'd crack.
There you go.
Okay, here we go fellas.
Bubbles everywhere.
Alright! Ready?
Bubbles.
More bubbles.
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paperboy evening TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a face
of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Michelle, your breakfast's
getting cold.
- 'I'm busy.'
- Okay.
The fat on your
bacon's all congealed
and your waffle's gonna
taste like a roofing tile.
That should
bring her running.
I'm sorry, could you
guys please hold it down?
Vicky is doing a live report
on "Good Morning, America."
It's first time I've seen her
in over a month.
Dad, do you want us to leave
so you can snuggle up to the TV?
Don't think I haven't
thought about that.
You know, a man in
a long distance relationship
can get pretty darn desperate.
Maybe we can double date
with my VCR.
Check it out, Beck.
I made my own special blend.
Oatmeal and pureed prunes.
It'll be great.
My Grandpa Katsopolis
used to swear by it.
Alright, boys,
here you go. That's it.
Okay, grab a spoon,
Nicky. Good boy.
You're gonna love this.
Well, he, at least
he missed my new shirt.
I knew that
was gonna happen.
I see the problem.
This is it.
She's finishing her report.
And she's gonna
flash me our secret hello.
Here it comes.
This is Vicky Larson,
live from Chicago.
Yes, yes! That was it!
She scratched her eyebrow.
Boy, was it good
for you, Danny?
As good as it gets.
Okay. Michelle!
How many times do I have to
tell you to get down here?
Joseph, if you want
a kid to do something
you don't ask questions.
You give orders.
Watch...and learn.
Michelle, you get
your tiny little tush
down here right now!
(Michelle)
'I'm busy!'
Okay.
Tell you, I love learning
from a master.
D.J., your boyfriend's here.
Look what he dragged in.
Look at all these happy people
sitting down
to breakfast together.
You guys have
family values
coming out the wazoo.
So nicely put, Kimmy.
Come on, Jesse, I'll help you
clean up before I go to work.
Oh, Beck, I could
take care of the boys.
I wasn't talking
about them.
Oh. Brutal.
This waffle tastes
like a roofing tile.
Well, obviously, that's
not a bad thing, is it?
Steve, I-I kinda see
a trend developing here.
Do I have to assume I gonna be
seeing you on a daily basis?
Yeah, as long as D.J.
can keep her hooks in him.
We have to go.
Maybe we should put in
a drive-thru window.
[telephone rings]
Hello.
Yeah, Vicky.
Yes, of-of course
I saw the signal.
Who knew one little scratch
could say so much, huh?
[knock on door]
Okay, be right there. Hold on.
Hey, Teddy! What's new
in the first grade?
Everything.
Come on in.
Michelle, now come on.
You get down here
right now!
(Michelle)
'I'm busy.'
Teddy's here.
'I'm coming!'
Hi, Teddy.
What did you bring
for lunch today?
A peanut butter sandwich.
What do you have?
Jelly sandwich.
When we get to school
we'll smush 'em together.
- Alright!
Okay, come here,
Michelle. Here.
Hey, Teddy, you wanna
come with us
to Happy Mountain on Saturday?
That's the day they open
the wonder flume.
The wonder flume, wow!
Sorry, but I can't.
- Why not?
- It's a secret.
Okay, come on, you guys.
Let's go, we're gonna be late.
Here you go, breakfast
on the go. Let's go.
You gotta tell me
your secret.
I'll give you
my banana.
Michelle, Teddy just
told you that he can't, okay.
You gotta respect that.
I do.
Please. Please, tell me
your secret.
Please, please, tell me.
Where's the baby's
belly button?
Where's the belly button?
There it is!
You know what, you guys be
good while I'm at work, okay?
Jess, come on!
I'm gonna be late!
'I'm coming.'
Second team's here.
Just call me Mr. Mo..
Boys, I'm so proud.
You guys are having
a great hair day, my boys.
Ha ha ha.
We are not cutting
their hair.
(Jesse)
'Hey, Goober, Gomer.'
What are you guys
doing with a doll?
Oh, Michelle
gave it to them.
It's baby love button.
Baby love button.
Isn't that cute?
Fork the doll over, guys.
Hey, Jess, you don't have
some prehistoric idea
that boys shouldn't
play with dolls.
Me? No, no. It's just that,
uh, I don't know, you know.
This thing could be dangerous.
Well, look at this hair,
I mean it's-it's-it's
extremely flammable.
One match, boom! The whole..
I'll give the doll back.
[footsteps]
(Beck)
'Hey, Danny,
you changed clothes.'
Oh, I had to.
Vicky called and told me
she's coming in
for three whole days.
And then I realized,
I was wearing the same exact tie
that I had on last time
I saw her.
And then after I changed
the tie, shirt wasn't right.
And then, well,
just snowball from there.
So, how do I look?
Under medicated.
Very funny.
You look radiant. Come on.
Let's go. Bye, boys.
- Don't I get a kiss?
- Sure.
Aah!
Toodle-oo.
Alright, guys.
Mommy's gone.
We gotta set some new
ground rules around here.
That's right,
Katsopolis men do not
I repeat, do not play
with dolls, alright?
Now, come on outside, guys,
I'll teach you
how to lube up my Harley.
Alright, fine,
play with the doll now
but this isn't over.
You guys have to
nap sometime.
[laughing]
[instrumental music]
Michelle,
very good printing.
But, is something missing
from your letter I?
I save the dots
for last.
I do too.
Hey, Teddy,
want to dot my I's?
Ooh, that's
my favorite thing.
Wait a minute.
First the secret,
then the dots.
Please!
Don't do this to me.
Then spill your guts.
Okay, the secret is
I'm going to Amarillo.
What the heck is that?
It's a place in Texas.
That's it?
You're going on vacation?
Not your best secret.
It's not a vacation.
I'm moving there.
What?
Shh!
You can't move.
I have to.
My dad got a new job.
But we won't be
best friends anymore.
I know.
It's bad news.
Why didn't you tell me?
Because I thought
you'd be mad.
Are you?
No.
I'm too sad...to be mad.
[dramatic music]
[instrumental music]
Oh, I'm sorry, Comet.
This is not for you.
I missed lunch.
I was on the phone with Vicky.
She canceled our
long weekend together.
'She has to fly back
to Chicago tonight.'
You think I'm making
myself too nuts over this?
Obviously,
I'm talking to a dog.
Hey, a meat loaf sandwich.
Easy there, jaws.
Sorry, sir. I don't
wanna take your snack.
Why not?
I do it all the time.
You have any friends
whose parents feed them?
Dad, stay cool.
Steve's a wrestler.
He needs his strength.
What about Kimmy?
Kimmy just
has bad manners.
I do not.
You know, this meat loaf
is really dry.
Here you go, Comet.
Well, uh,
gotta go, Deej.
I'll miss you.
I'll miss you more.
I'll miss you
more than more.
I'll miss you more
than more than more.
I bet she'd miss you
even more if you were gone.
Dad, look, there's
a dust bunny under the table.
That's impossible.
There's nothing there.
Sorry. My mistake.
See ya.
Dad, can I ride
my bike to Amarillo?
Uh, sorry, honey.
It's a little
too close to dinner.
Besides, Amarillo's
much too far.
Not as far
as Chicago, though.
That's where Vicky lives.
Alright, that's way past
Utah, Colorado, Nevada.
Then come all those
really flat states.
I get it. It's far.
Boy, dad, you really
miss Vicky, don't you?
Well, why did she have
to move to Chicago?
It's cold. It's windy.
Cubs never
win the pennant.
I know exactly
how you feel.
After lunch, when Steve
goes to study hall
and I go to geometry
I miss him so much,
I think I'll die
before I see him
again in Spanish.
Yeah, but, this is
a little different.
Boy, it would be...be nice
to be able to kiss my girlfriend
without getting that yucky
phone taste in my mouth.
Maybe it's not worth it.
Come on, dad.
Vicky is so nice.
Ya, I thought
you liked her.
I do like her.
Just "like?"
Yes, "like."
A lot.
But, it's driving me crazy
having a girlfriend
who's never in town.
When Vicky comes over
I'm-I'm gonna tell her
that I think we should
see other people.
[dramatic music]
Hi, Michelle.
Hi, Teddy.
The moving truck's here.
I guess I gotta say goodbye.
I don't want you to go.
Maybe, you could live
at my house.
I already asked.
Mom says she would
miss me too much.
She could live here too.
I don't think my dad
would like that.
Can't we play
one last time?
Okay, just for a minute,
then I gotta go.
I have a new jump rope.
I don't know how.
I'll teach you.
It's really easy.
I can do that.
Watch this.
Wee!
Watch this.
Alright guys,
dolls are fun
but wait till you see
the new surprises
daddy got for you.
Look at this.
I got a monster truck,
Johnny Dirtspitter.
See that. Look at that thing go.
Here you go. Lot of
manly stuff in here, boys.
Hey, look
at the football.
Hey, go deep. Go deep!
Atta boy! Here.
Throw it to me. Throw it
to daddy. Here we go.
Throw the football.
Attaboy!
What an arm on this kid!
And look at this guys,
boxing gloves.
Alright, remember, hey! No
hitting below the diaper, huh.
Hey, Jess, how come this was
in the bottom of the hamper?
Uh, the freezer
was full. Okay.
Ooh, a lot of new toys here.
Oh my goodness.
Who is this charming fellow?
Oh that's, uh,
Kick-boxing Kurt
and he's not charming.
He's lethal.
Look at this.
He's double-jointed.
See, he can kick
a guy in the neck
and the kneecaps
at the same time.
Doo! Dah! Doh! Dah! Yah!
- Here you go.
- That's sweet, Jess.
But, how come they can't also
play with baby love button?
Because it's wrong, I'm sor..
You know what, I don't make
the rules. I'm sorry.
Who does make the rules?
Clint Eastwood?
Jess, I want Nicky and Alex
to have a full range
of experience
and grow up to be
well-rounded human beings.
Do you know what a little boy
who plays with baby dolls
could grow up to be?
An accordion player?
- No!
- Just a guess.
He just might grow up
to be a terrific father.
Think about it.
[babies cooing]
Rats.
We thought we had a shot
at winning this one, guys.
Alright. Here you go.
Play with baby love button.
Grow up to be warm,
sensitive, caring men.
Actually, it doesn't
sound too bad, does it?
[rattling]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
No, no, no.
You're getting tread marks on
baby love button's face there.
There we go.
That's not how
you hold a baby.
Come here. Here we go.
Let me show you how
a real man holds a baby, okay?
- Oh, oh!
- See?
- 'Uh-oh!'
- 'Isn't that nice?'
Wanna try
to hold the baby?
Here. Okay, come on.
- Uh-oh.
- See how we hold him?
See? You gimme a big hug?
Gimme a big hug.
Dad are you sure you want
to break up with Vicky?
I'm not breaking up
with her.
I just think that we should
date other people.
Kiss of death.
Dad, if you do this wrong
it could sour Vicky on men
for the rest
of her life.
It happened
to Thelma and Louise.
How can I tell her this
without hurting her?
Vicky's
a wonderful person
but this long distance
relationship's just not working.
Hey, I can use that.
[doorbell rings]
She's here.
I hope she
can handle this.
- Hi.
Hi.
Hi, girls.
How you doing?
- Hi.
- Great.
And I just wanna say it's really
been nice knowing you.
Excuse me?
Um, she means that, it's really
nice knowing you're here.
Oh, it's really
nice to be here.
I feel like we never get to
spend enough time together.
You're not the only one.
- Uh, girls.
- Yeah!
- Get out.
Right.
Just remember, Vicky,
not all men are rats.
So, uh, here we are,
alone at last.
Just the two of us.
Just Vicky and Danny.
Danny and-and Vicky.
Danny, I feel we should
see other people.
What?
I'm sorry to
blurt it out like that
I just couldn't think
of a better way to say it.
How about
you're a wonderful person
and I don't wanna
hurt you but this
long-distance relationship
just isn't working?
Yes, that would
have been better.
Oh, Danny,
are you really happy
with the way
things are going?
No.
I was gonna tell
you the same thing
until you came
through the door.
And, Vicky,
now that you're here, I..
...I realized that I'd rather
see you one day a year
than somebody else
every day of the week.
Me too.
I guess this means
we're back where we started.
Yeah, miserable.
Suffering.
And lonely.
Tortured.
God, I want you.
Vicky, I'm gonna fly to
Chicago one weekend a month.
And I'm gonna fly
to San Francisco
one weekend a month.
Let's just make sure it's
not the same weekend, okay?
Okay.
"A" is for Alligator.
"B" is for Bear.
Michelle, untie me.
My family's gonna
move without me.
Now, you're getting it.
You're never
letting me go?
It's for your own good.
You could at least
scratch my nose.
What happens if I get hungry?
Don't worry. I'll bring you
breakfast and dinner.
What about lunch?
Sorry. I'll be at school.
Help!
- Let me out!
- I can't hear you.
- Help! Let me out!
- I can't hear you.
- Help! Let me out!
- I can't hear you.
Help! Help!
Let me out!
Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on here?
Michelle, why
did you tie up Teddy?
Because he
was moving away
if you wanna know.
Oh, I see.
Well, I don't want him
to move, either.
Uh-oh. I'm never
getting outta here.
Now, I won't have
a best friend anymore.
Well, Michelle,
tying up Teddy
is not gonna
stop him from moving.
Well, it was working
till you came in.
Look, you guys..
There you go.
I'm sorry. I know how much
this hurts, okay?
When I was your age,
my dad was in the army.
We moved all the time.
I said goodbye to a lot
of best friends.
'It always made me
feel very sad.'
But then you know
what happened?
I always made
a new best friend.
But, I don't want a new
best friend. I want Teddy.
'Well, that's okay.'
You can, you can
keep your old friends
and make new
best friends
because, uh, well,
friends are, uh
they're, they're like, um..
..."Jell-O."
Well, there's always room for
more. And you know what else?
Now that you guys
are learning how to print
you can write
each other letters.
And I'll leave all
my I's for you to dot.
I almost forgot.
I brought you
Furry Murray.
But you love Furry Murray
and you sleep with him
every night.
It's okay,
I want you to keep him.
I have something
for you too.
Here. You take Pinky.
Your favorite pig?
You're gonna need
someone to sleep with.
Thanks.
Uh, Michelle,
I think Teddy's parents
are wondering where he is.
Okay.
Well, goodbye.
Goodbye.
[instrumental music]
It's okay, sweetheart.
Boys and girls, if you thought
dotting I's was fun
you're gonna
love crossing T's.
Excuse me.
Everyone,
say hello to Denise.
(all)
Hello, Denise.
She's joining us from
Mrs. Harris' class.
Denise, why don't
you take that
empty seat there
next to Michelle?
Hi, Michelle.
Hi.
You wanna share lunches today?
No, thank you.
I got a bologna sandwich.
I have tuna.
I don't think that
goes with bologna.
I got potato chips.
What kind?
Sour cream and onion.
Really?
Sure. Why would I lie
about potato chips?
Sour cream and onion
is my favorite.
Me too.
The taste stays on your tongue
for a really long time.
Yeah, sometimes when
my mommy kisses me
she says, "Ew! What
have you been eating?"
Shh!
- Shh!
We're making T's.
Wanna cross mine?
Cool.
You're good.
[theme music]