[instrumental music]
Aunt Becky, look, they turned
into super sweepers.
Well, Michelle that's because
your a super teacher.
Thank you.
Time for lesson two.
Cleaning my room.
Come on. Come on, you guys.
Alright, you guys go up stairs
with Michelle.
I'll be up there in a minute.
I love not being the youngest.
[theme music]
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody
who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost
out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Hey, Becky.
Time to base my boot.
Maybe I'll skip dinner, Danny.
No, calm down.
It's a pastry boot.
Look, here it is.
Ahh, look at that.
Isn't that a work of art?
Isn't that pretty?
It's-it's just, you know, diced
turkey and creamed vegetables
in a lovely pastry shell.
I actually cooked this
the very first time
I made dinner for Vicky.
And they say romance is dead.
- Hi, dad.
- 'Hey, sweetheart.'
- Hi.
- Hey.
Dad, you know Josh.
Oh, yeah. I remember you.
He bats left,
throws right, never spits.
I like that
in a baseball player.
Thanks.
Hey, if you guys ever want
another lift
you might wanna wash
those sweats.
It smelled funky
in the back seat.
Don't blame us.
Gibbler took her shoes off.
I guess it's time to rotate
the old Odor-Eaters.
(all)
Eww!
Kimmy, please,
think about the ozone.
Hey, Steph, want to go
with me for pizza tonight?
A bunch of team
is gonna be there.
Dad, is it okay?
Oh, sure.
You have fun, honey.
So, Josh, your parents wanna
drop off or pick up?
Actually, they
can't do either.
Dad, how about you?
You know, I-I'd love to,
but can't.
Vicky's coming for dinner. It's,
uh, turkey-in-a-boot night.
[chuckling]
In fact, I got to go get
dressed. You know what?
I think I'm gonna put a tie on
that has lot of green in it
to pick up
the actual color of the peas.
Inside the turkey
in the boot.
D.J., do you think
maybe you could, uh..
...drive your sister Steph?
Thank you. Excuse me.
You know, Deej, we're going out
for pizza tonight too.
You want to bring them along?
I'd rather drill
my own teeth.
Please, Deej,
give me a break.
Okay, okay.
We'll give you a ride.
- Thanks.
- Great.
I'll be here at 7:00.
- Okay. See you.
- Bye.
- See you later.
- Bye.
Well, I got to get home
for dinner.
Steve, we're going out to eat.
Well, I know.
I got to warm up.
Well, you got yourself a date.
This is not a date.
Josh and I are just
going out for pizza.
Hey, this isn't your dad
you're talking to.
I know an invite for
a date when I hear one..
...not that I've
heard one lately.
I do not have a date.
Do I?
I don't know, Steph.
Let's look at the facts.
He's a guy.
You're a girl.
It's Friday night.
There's eating involved.
Looks like my little sister
has her first date.
My first date?
Oh, my gosh.
What do I say?
What do I do?
What do I wear?
I'm starting to sweat.
You're not supposed to
let them see you sweat.
[instrumental music]
Today, on "The Cartoons
Of Our Lives"
Bullwinkle has
a secret rendezvous
with the woman of his dreams.
[imitating Olive Oyl]
Oh, Bullwinkle.
You big moose.
You really know how
to sweet-talk a girl.
[imitating Bullwinkle]
Oh, sorry, Olive.
I didn't see you standing there
behind that broomstick.
Will Bullwinkle and Olive Oyl
find true love
or will Popeye say..
[imitating Popeye]
Eh, you furry forest freak,
stay away from me girl
before I make a hat rack
out of you.
Find out tomorrow on
the continuing saga
of "The Cartoons
Of Our..
...Lives."
Alright, we'll be right back
right after this spot
from Phil's Fashion Barn.
And hey, you fabulous babes
out there
if Phil can't fit you,
lose some weight.
♪ Rush hour renegades ♪
♪ Comin' at ya.. ♪♪
Jess, Jess, there's Alison.
How do I look?
Oh, my face is huge.
Oh, that's better.
I like that.
Oh, I'm a mess.
Joey, what's the matter
with you?
Every time this Alison comes
around, you start bumpin'
into things like, uh,
Dumbo on roller blades.
Jess, I-I'm a nervous wreck
around her.
I'd like to ask her out,
but she's my boss.
She knows how much I make.
Come on, Joey. Go for it.
She's cute. She's smart.
She's funny.
Ask her out.
Be a guy.
[imitating Dudley Do-Right]
You're absolutely right, Jess.
I'll do it..
...but very, very carefully.
I'll be back.
Alright. Up next, 20 in a row
with a few commercials
after song 5, 7, 12, and 19.
Hey, we got to make
a living somehow.
[music playing on radio]
Whoa.
[laughing]
I'm fine.
It's just, uh, a bit
I'm working on for the show.
Yeah, nothing funnier
on the radio
than a good sight gag. Yeah.
Jess, about that
Fashion Barn spot..
Yeah, it was pretty cool, huh?
You know, I-I winged it a little
at the end there.
Yeah, that's what
I want to talk about.
It's a little insensitive
to refer to our female
listeners as "babes"
and then tell them
to lose some weight.
Oh, I was-I was just joking
around. I mean, you know..
I did call them "fabulous."
Jess, can you just leave
your attitude out of it
and read the copy
as written?
And, uh, what attitude
would that be?
Well, your attitude
towards women.
I mean, I know how you are.
Come on, the rock n' roll,
the motorcycle.
Forgot the tattoo.
Shut up, Joey.
I see what's going on here.
See, y-you think I'm some
kind of male chauvinist
macho jerk, don't you?
[chuckling]
Okay, look, we can
pick this up at dinner.
- I'll see you guys tonight.
- Okay.
Bye.
You guys?
What do you mean "You guys?
I'm not going to
dinner with you.
Well, I invited her
over for dinner.
- To our house?
- Yeah.
I gotta eat...she thinks
I'm a macho jerk.
Oh, come on, Jess.
I really like Alison.
You-you guys will get along.
You're just, you're just not
connecting right now.
What am I
supposed to do?
Well, tonight at dinner,
show her what a warm
perfectly caring,
sensitive man you are.
[scoffing]
Oh, great.
After dinner, I'll nurse a poor
little puppy back to health
while watching
"Beauty And The Beast"
and I'll cry my little eyes out.
Perfect.
[instrumental music]
Deej, I'm saved.
I bought the new Teen Week.
"Three easy steps to make your
first date unforgettable."
Mine sure was.
Chinese food, a movie
and my first ride
in a police car.
Okay.
"Step number one. Dress to
accentuate your best features."
So you'll be wearing a mask.
Yeah.
Could I borrow that one?
Oh, I'm sorry,
it's your face.
"Step two. Compliment your date
on his appearance."
What do you say
if your date has pit stains
and smells like a hamper?
I don't know, Kimmy.
What do your dates say to you?
Let me see that.
"Step number three.
Concentrate on romance
"because if you don't,
he won't.
"Follow these three steps
"and your unforgettable
first date
will end with an unforgettable
first kiss."
Do you believe this?
[instrumental music]
Steve, you just had dinner.
We're going out for pizza.
- How can you still be eating?
- I don't know.
My mouth keeps moving and I
gotta fill it with something.
[doorbell ringing]
That must be Stephanie's date.
- Hi, Josh.
- Hi.
- Come on in.
- 'How is it going, Josh?'
I'll check and see
how Stephanie's doing.
There's fruit
if you hurry.
Have a seat, Josh.
Part of dating is waiting.
Dating?
Steph and I are just going out
for pizza with the guys.
- Well, don't you like Steph?
- Well, yeah, sure.
You know,
she likes to talk about
pitching and baseball.
She don't like to
talk about that
gushy stuff like other girls.
Oh, Josh.
Stephanie?
Just a minute.
Ready for
an unforgettable evening?
[chuckling nervously]
[instrumental music]
- Here's Josh!
- Hey, come on, Steph.
Let's go sit with the guys.
You kids have have fun.
We'll meet you
at the car at 8:30.
Steve.
What?
Josh, wouldn't you rather
sit with D.J. and Steve
in that nice,
quiet booth?
Why?
Well, uh, the team's over
by the door
and the draft could tighten up
my pitching arm.
Do you want me
to tell Coach Zwick
it's your fault
I can't pitch?
The booth looks fine.
Hi, guys.
What are you doing here?
We'd rather sit
in the booth.
Vinyl's so much cozier.
So, Josh, I love the way
that t-shirt looks on you.
Really? It's got a big sloppy
joe stain on it.
Oh, well, it really brings out
the color in your eyes.
So what do you recommend?
I recommend another table.
Steph, I'm going to
the bathroom.
Do you want to join me?
No, that's okay.
Josh might get lonely.
Hey, if you got to go,
you got to go.
She's definitely
got to go.
Stephanie, why are you sitting
at our table?
I thought you were
gonna be sitting
with your little friends.
If we sit
with the team, all Josh
is gonna think
about is baseball.
I've got to make him
think about romance.
You saw the article.
If I don't, he won't.
Then sit by yourselves.
I don't know anything
about romance.
I've got to follow your lead.
Please, D.J.?
Steph, why are you making this
such a big deal out of this?
Because you only go on
your first date once.
It's got to be perfect.
Okay. But relax.
Don't push so hard.
By the way, it's me you're
playing footsies with
under the table.
- I missed you, Deej.
- I missed you too.
I missed you, Josh.
You were only gone
for two seconds.
Wow. Your hand's sweating
like a pig.
Oh, Josh, what a marvelous
sense of humor.
Steve, I really like that
new cologne. What is it?
Oh, it's called
Wilderness Man.
Comes with a free bag
of beef jerky.
I like your cologne
too, Josh.
I don't wear cologne.
You're probably smelling
my Denorex.
Oh, well, it smells
very manly..
...even from up here.
[instrumental music]
I sure hope Jesse and Alison
get along tonight.
- She seems nice.
- Oh, she's terrific.
And now that I have
asked her out
I can finally
relax around her.
[clanking]
Is that why your grading
your watch band?
This, here.
Boy, everything smells so good.
Thanks, Vicky.
Oh, I just checked on
Nicky and Alex.
They're sleeping like babies,
which is good
because that's what they are .
I guess it's
the nurturing side of me.
Or the side that didn't want
to set the table.
She's kidding.
We-we kid each other.
That's the-that's the kind
of relationship we have.
[chuckling]
- Salad, Alison?
- Ah!
I'm so sor...uh..
[timer ringing]
I'll get that. I'll-I'll,
uh...I'll be..
Thanks, Joey.
Alright, Vicky, I got
a big surprise for you.
Remember the first meal
I ever cooked for you?
You mean that
mushed-up turkey
with the pureed vegetables
in that dough thing?
Turkey in a boot.
You remembered.
Oh, boy, isn't this
a beauty, huh?
(Danny)
'Joey!'
Oh, my boot.
My wonderful, crusty boot.
Danny, I am so sorry. Listen,
I'll-I'll take care of this.
Uh, anyone for, uh,
turkey in a loafer?
Joey, forget about that.
Let me, let me do it for you.
Honey, honey, honey.
Please, please, let me do it.
I know you had
a hard day at work today.
Look, I'm not too macho
to clean.
How many times
have I told you?
Counting now, once.
Again she kids.
[chuckling]
Vicky, I-I am so sorry.
I know turkey in a boot
is your favorite meal.
Sweetheart, it's not
my favorite.
What?
The first time
I made it for you
you said you loved it.
I lied.
The truth is
it tastes like it sounds.
I'm sorry.
We'd just started
going out and I didn't
want to hurt
your feelings.
I'm sure there's some little
fibs you've told me
to spare my feelings.
Yeah, remember
when I told you that
I liked that pink pullover
you knitted for me?
You didn't like
that sweater?
I didn't like it.
I loved it!
Did I miss
a food fight?
No, just a little
accident, Michelle.
Uh, Michelle..
Excuse me, Jess.
Uh, this is Alison.
Alison, Michelle.
- Hi.
- Hi, Michelle.
Joey.
Yeah, yeah.
What?
What are you doing?
You feel cool.
You said that you had
the hots for her.
[chuckling]
Well, maybe you
misunderstood me.
You're Alison, right?
Yes.
He has the hots for you.
[laughing nervously]
Oh, boy, we'll always remember
our first date.
Joey, we're not on a date.
I thought I was just
coming over for dinner.
Boy, will you look
at the time?
Michelle, you have to
go to bed, don't you?
- Bye, everyone.
- Was is something I said?
Nothing you said at all. No.
This is really embarrassing.
Um, maybe this wasn't
such a good idea.
It's nice meeting you.
Nice meeting you too.
Alison.
Alison, hold on a second.
No, I really should be going.
Alison, you got to give
Joey a second chance.
I mean, he's-he's
really a nice guy.
I know he's a nice guy.
Sit down here a second.
So, what you don't know
is how much he likes you.
I mean, sometimes it's-it's
hard for us guys
to show our feelings, you know.
I mean...occasionally,
it comes out in a weird way.
I mean instead
of Joey just saying
you know, "hey, Alison
I dig you"
he-he dumps salad
all over you.
It certainly got
my attention.
Listen, I love Joey.
I mean, I...I mean I really
love Joey like a brother.
He's-he's the warmest,
sweetest guy.
He's like a big, big teddy bear
that you just want to hug.
And I promised, once you get to
know him, you'll love him too.
I swear to you.
Jesse, I have something
to say.
Am I in trouble again?
No.
I think I really misjudged you.
You're a such a good friend
to Joey.
And you're so open and in touch
with your feelings.
Well, it's no biggie.
I guess it's just, uh..
...just the kind
of guy I am.
I really feel like
I've been talking
to one of my girlfriends.
That's not
the kind of guy I am.
Oh, great, Alison,
you're still here.
Joey, good. Listen, uh..
Why don't you two guys, uh..
...sit down and talk
to each other?
Really, sit down,
talk a little
enjoy each other, go.
Alison, look,
I'm, uh, I'm really sorry
if I came on too strong.
I just want to assure you
that in the future
all of our dealings will be
strictly on
a professional level.
So, uh, goodnight, um..
...sir.
Joey.
It doesn't have anything
to do with you.
I just came off
a bad relationship
and I just need
a little more time.
How's that?
Is that good?
More than that.
Uh, it's okay, I can wait.
Don't worry.
So you must be starving.
I think there's something
in the kitchen
I haven't thrown
on the floor yet.
(Danny)
'Coffee, anyone?'
- Here we go. Yeah
- Sure.
(Danny)
'Joey!'
[plates clanking]
Ohh...ohh, bad luck.
Uh..
Maybe we should go to like
a-a rubber-padded restaurant
some place where I can't
break anything.
And we'll go
and have dessert.
[cricket chirping]
[dog barking at distance]
You think they're
going to be through soon?
Steve's got to
drive me home.
Well, while we're waiting,
you know what would be
the perfect end
to a perfect evening?
You're going to teach me
how to throw a knuckleball?
No, I was thinking
more of..
What did you do that for?
I don't know.
Steve, I'd better go
talk to her.
Steve, do you
understand women?
Well, enough not to wipe my
mouth off when they kiss me.
Steph, are you okay?
This was the worst night
of my life.
Shh. You'll wake up Michelle.
Too late, Michelle's awake.
I need to talk
to Stephanie.
Good. Then I'll help.
Steph, I know
how you're feeling.
You're hurt and confused.
You forgot
humiliated, crushed
and scarred for life.
Steph, don't take it so hard.
It was only your first date.
And my last. I'm never leaving
this room again.
Not even to go
to the bathroom?
Michelle.
What was I thinking?
Why did I kiss him?
You kissed a boy?
Eew! Cooties!
Michelle, let me handle this.
Okay.
But you're not doing
a very good job.
Steph, why did you
kiss Josh?
I don't know.
I thought I was supposed to.
That's what you and Steve do.
That's what it said
in Teen Week.
Steph, you're not a teen.
And Steve and I do it
because we want to
not because
we're supposed to.
Well, how do you know
when you want to
and he wants to, and how to
and how long to?
I can't explain it.
When you're ready,
you'll know.
All I know is,
I was not ready tonight.
Steph, that's not
a bad thing.
It was tonight.
You were just trying
go too fast.
It was partly my fault.
I never should have told you
it was a date.
Josh was just a friend
that wanted to hang out.
That's what I thought
in the first place.
[sighing]
You think Josh will ever
talk to me again?
Of course, he will.
You're pretty.
You're smart. You're funny.
Really? You think so?
Sure, I do, and
you're the only one
who can teach him
that knuckleball.
Thanks, Deej.
You're the best.
I can help with this part.
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
[theme music]
♪ Ah ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪