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(male announcer on TV)
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'Okay, kids, to hear
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today's new jokes'
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'ask your parents if you
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can call your funny buddy'
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'at the number on your screen.'
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'Hee hee. Ha ha.
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Hee hee hee.'
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- Hee hee. Ha ha.
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- Hee hee hee.
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'Remember, it's only
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$2.00 a minute'
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'and don't forget
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to ask your parents.'
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'Hee hee. Ha ha ha.'
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- Hee hee. Ha ha ha.
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- Hee hee. Ha ha ha.
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Are you gonna call
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funny buddy again?
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Sure am. Last time we
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told one of his jokes
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milk came out of
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my daddy's nose.
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I asked my daddy
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if I could call
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and he said, "Denise, do you
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think money grows on trees? "
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- My daddy didn't say anything.
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- How come?
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'Cause I asked him when
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he was vacuuming the rug.
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He probably
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didn't hear you.
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That's the idea.
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[theme music]
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♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Ah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milk man the paper boy
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evenin' TV ♪
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♪ Ah ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody
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who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're
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lost out there ♪
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♪ And you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waitin' ♪
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♪ To carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Hey, Jennifer.
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Jennifer. Cool shirt.
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- Thank you.
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- Thank you.
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It's the latest style.
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Everyone's wearing it.
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- I got mine's at Sassy City.
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- Me too.
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- No way!
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- No way!
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Well, well,
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well, well, well.
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Look who's blocking
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the aisles.
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Let's see, two Jennifers
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and a Stephanie.
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Three people.
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One brain. No personality.
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Hey, Charles, what do you
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think of the human race?
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We'd like an outsider's opinion.
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Uh, Charles, Stephanie,
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that's quite enough.
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Let's take our seats, alright?
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You two have just given me
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a wonderful idea
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for our next
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writing assignment.
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Let's call it
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"Finding the best in people."
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Let's call it three o'clock
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and go home.
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Let's call the principal
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and see what he thinks.
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Alright, I want you
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to interview each other.
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And I want you to find the best
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qualities in your partner
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and then write
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an essay about them.
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And I think I'm gonna pair up
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Stephanie and Charles first
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since they inspired this.
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Hey, everybody.
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- Hi.
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- Hey.
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Did you want that?
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That could be why
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my hand's on it.
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Who's reading
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Catchin' Her Eye?
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Me.
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I got to do a book
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report on it
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for night school
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English class.
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Oh, yeah, me too, I got
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a report due for my class.
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- Such a drag.
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- Tell me about it.
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Book report? You guys
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could try the Gibbler method.
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Rent the movie.
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Kimmy, that's a terrible idea.
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And I checked.
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It's not on video.
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Why don't you try
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reading the book?
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Or each of you could read half.
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Hey, Deej, remember when
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Cathy Santoni and I
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split up Much Ado About Nothing.
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Yeah, she read Much Ado,
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and you read nothing.
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No, no, h-h-hold it a second.
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You know what, Kimmy,
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that's good idea.
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You know what, you're not
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as dumb as you look.
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- Thanks.
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- You're welcome.
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Now, see, this is good, see,
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see, you read the first half.
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I'll read the second half, then
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we'll fill each other in.
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Hey, sounds like a plan.
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Alright! Brotha!
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- Hey! We're home!
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- Hey, my boys!
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Oh, I missed you guys.
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Did you have fun
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with Uncle Joey today?
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Oh, they sure did.
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We had the best time
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at the park.
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These guys love playing
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in the sand so much
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I think they brought
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most of it home with 'em.
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They're building
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their own beach.
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What is it with kids
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and sandboxes, huh?
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Jesse, I have no idea
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what the attraction is.
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Okay, boys. Let's show daddy
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what I taught you.
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Okay, what do we do when we
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get sand in our mouths?
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(blowing raspberries)
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Good influence, Joey.
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Okay, it's joke time.
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Gather around,
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ladies and germs.
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It's time for
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the joke of the day.
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Okay, what did one penny
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say to the other?
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- I don't know.
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- What? I don't know
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- Got me.
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- What did he say?
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Let's get together
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and make some cents.
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That's Cute. You guys
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should go on "Jay Leno."
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[mimicking Jay Leno]
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Yeah, of course
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my guest tonight.
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Are the fabulous
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Michelle and Denise.
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And they will be
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appearing at Zaney's
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in wonderful Sandusky, Ohio
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the 22nd through the 28th.
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Where'd you goofballs
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learn these jokes from?
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From funny buddy.
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- Denise.
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- What?
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Let's go play outside.
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I don't want to
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play outside.
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Trust me. You do.
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I'm not exaggerating, dad.
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Nobody in school
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can stand this kid, Charles.
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He's a total obnoxitron.
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Oh, come on, Steph,
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how bad can he be?
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Bad. Fluffner, our class
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bunny, tried to bite him.
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Deej, help me out.
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I've to do a project
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with a real jerk.
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You have tons of
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experience dealing with
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someone who's rude and crude.
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Deej, do you have a friend
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I don't know about?
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Uh, look, Steph, sometimes
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people can seem obnoxious
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on the outside, but when you
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spend time alone with them
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really get to know them,
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become friends with them
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you realize they're not so bad.
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Who is this person?
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Steph, come here.
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I know Charlie might
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seem like a jerk
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but, honey, there's
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good in everybody.
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Beck, can I ask you something?
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Remember that guy we
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interviewed on the show
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couple of weeks ago,
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was it Tommy Bun?
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Oh, yeah, what a jerk.
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Yeah. He did charge
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over a million dollars
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on other people's
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credit cards
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but, ah, do you remember
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later in the interview
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he showed a different
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side of himself.
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Yeah. He mooned us.
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Actually, before that
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remember before he told us
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all that other stuff
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he told us how
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he used to carpool.
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Of course, it was a stolen car.
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And he was fleeing
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the country.
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I wish he'd taken
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Charles with him.
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Oh, come on, sweetie,
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be nice to him.
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Maybe it'll rub off on him.
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[doorbell ringing]
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Battle stations.
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Okay, I'll be nice.
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Hello, Charles.
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Nice to see you.
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Yeah. I wish
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I felt the same.
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Everybody, this is Charles.
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- Hi.
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- Hi.
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Steph, I see where
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you get your looks.
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Well, thanks.
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Yeah, I didn't say good looks.
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Could we just do
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the assignment, okay?
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I can hardly wait.
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Maybe there isn't good
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in everybody.
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What a brat.
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Somebody needs to teach
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that kid manners.
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I wonder if he's got
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an older brother.
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Who's room is this?
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Rainbow Brite.
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Let's just do the assignment.
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Okay, what did you do
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today that was nice?
294
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:36,475
Well, I didn't put bubble gum
295
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:36,475
on anyone's chair.
296
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,685
What a prince.
297
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,189
Oh, Stephanie.
298
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,899
Oh, look. It's half a person.
299
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:48,111
You've got a bad attitude.
300
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,779
What is it, Michelle?
301
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,779
We're studying.
302
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,240
You're in big trouble with dad.
303
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,284
Big, big, big,
304
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,284
big, big, big, big--
305
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,620
Okay, okay. I get it.
306
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,620
What did I do?
307
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,915
You forgot to take
308
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,915
the garbage out again.
309
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,209
Uh-oh.
310
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,752
Dad said he'll deal
311
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,752
with you later.
312
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,172
Just thought
313
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,172
you'd like to know.
314
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,885
Well, guess you're
315
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,885
really in for it now, huh?
316
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,095
Tsss. Yeah.
317
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,095
That's twice this week.
318
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,515
My dad's going
319
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,515
to flip out on me.
320
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,100
Well, you know what helps,
321
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,100
try thinking of a funny movie
322
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,478
like "Home alone"
323
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,478
or "Roger Rabbit."
324
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,730
That's what I always do
325
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,730
when I'm getting it.
326
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,106
Getting what?
327
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:28,402
Well, you know, when
328
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:28,402
your dad's pounding you.
329
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:31,029
You mean, hitting?
330
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,490
My dad never hits me.
331
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,950
Does yours hit you?
332
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,994
No. Just, just,
333
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,994
just forget it.
334
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,414
Let's do the assignment.
335
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,874
But you said you always
336
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,874
think of a funny movie.
337
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,543
Do you get hit a lot?
338
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,795
Look, I didn't mean anything
339
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,795
by it, just forget it, okay?
340
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,047
Let's do the assignment.
341
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,383
Charles, you can
342
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,383
trust me, I swear.
343
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,885
No, I don't care if you swear
344
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,885
on your mother's life.
345
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,349
My mother is not alive.
346
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,394
Oh. I'm sorry.
347
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,525
Mine's not alive either.
348
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,945
I'm sorry.
349
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,905
Look, the thing is
350
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,741
my dad does hit me sometimes
351
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,703
but it's my own fault
352
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,703
for ticking him off.
353
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,873
Boy, did he clobber me
354
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,873
last week.
355
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,501
You mean, when you came to
356
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,501
school with that black eye
357
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,669
and you said you walked
358
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,669
into a door?
359
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,881
Yeah. A door named dad.
360
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:34,092
Maybe you should tell someone.
361
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,261
No. No!
362
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,556
I can't tell anyone,
363
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,556
and neither can you.
364
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,559
- What time is it?
365
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,559
- 5:30.
366
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,352
I forgot to phone my dad and
367
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,352
tell him I was gonna be late.
368
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,396
He'll kill me.
369
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,396
I got to go. I gotta go.
370
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:47,397
But, Charles.
371
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,150
Steph, you gotta swear to me.
372
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,068
You can't tell anyone
373
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,068
as long as you live.
374
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,821
Ever, you got it, okay?
375
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:57,616
Okay. I swear.
376
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,721
Hi, Stephanie. New top?
377
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,433
Yeah, like you said,
378
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,433
"it's the latest style."
379
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,268
But that was yesterday.
380
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,521
Oh, haven't you heard?
381
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,023
It's coming back
382
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,023
again after lunch.
383
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,400
- No way!
384
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,400
- No way!
385
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,402
Good morning, class.
386
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,696
Stephanie, I'm afraid we're
387
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,696
gonna have to find you
388
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,574
another partner
389
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,574
for your assignment.
390
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,451
Why, I thought
391
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,451
I working with Charles?
392
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,828
Well, he's gonna be out all
393
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,828
week. He had an accident.
394
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,039
He is an accident.
395
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,082
Hey, cut it out!
396
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,082
That's not funny.
397
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,708
Hey! Don't have freak attack.
398
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,710
Alright, that's enough,
399
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,710
let's take our seats.
400
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,838
- Mrs. Patterson?
401
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,838
- Yeah.
402
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,383
What kind of accident
403
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,383
did Charles have?
404
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,927
Well, his father said
405
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,927
he fell down the stairs.
406
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,305
No.
407
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,767
What is it, Stephanie?
408
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:10,146
Um...nothing.
409
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,703
Okay, who wants
410
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,703
to hear another joke?
411
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:26,454
- Oh!
412
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:26,454
- Oh!
413
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:30,250
Oh, now, don't you have
414
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:30,250
a sense of humor?
415
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,919
Of course they do.
416
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,919
Come on, you guys.
417
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,629
Give the girls
418
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,629
some encouragement.
419
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,548
I mean, after all,
420
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,548
they look up to you.
421
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,841
Well, actually, they
422
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,841
look up to everyone.
423
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,178
Just laugh.
424
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,014
Now, what's a frog's
425
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,014
favorite drink?
426
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,974
- I don't know.
427
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,974
- What?
428
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:50,019
Croak-a Cola.
429
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,647
[laughing]
430
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,360
That was a good one.
431
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,655
Hey, Steph, you want
432
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,655
to hear a joke?
433
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,283
- Nah.
434
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,283
- It's really funny.
435
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,660
They laughed
436
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,660
their heads off.
437
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,246
I'm not really in
438
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,246
the mood for a joke.
439
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,290
Let's go tell
440
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,290
Nicky and Alex.
441
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,293
Yeah, they'll laugh
442
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,293
at anything.
443
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:16,254
Come on, Deej.
444
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:16,254
Help me set the table.
445
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,047
Alright, Steve, I've finished
446
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,047
my half of this book
447
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,215
for this
448
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,215
Catcher In The Rye report, huh.
449
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,425
Alright, no problem
450
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,051
I finished my half.
451
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,051
Hey, how was yours?
452
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:25,263
My half wasn't, uh,
453
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:25,263
wasn't half bad.
454
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,641
Yeah, I gotta admit,
455
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,641
I liked my half too.
456
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,434
I'm dying to find
457
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,434
out what happens.
458
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,227
Yeah, I'm dying to find out what
459
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,227
happens before it happened.
460
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,020
- Lay it on me.
461
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,020
- Okay, well.
462
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,105
Um, first, you know
463
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,105
that guy Holden?
464
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,732
He gets kicked out of school.
465
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:38,109
Oh, yeah, I noticed he had
466
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:38,109
a lot of time on his hands.
467
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,611
But I didn't know why.
468
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,611
Good, okay.
469
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,571
Okay, um,
470
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,571
it was really funny.
471
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,657
I was laughing out loud.
472
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,577
Yeah?
473
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,577
What was so funny?
474
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:50,871
Oh! Well, you know, the
475
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:50,871
characters were acting funny
476
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,707
and saying all this funny stuff.
477
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,001
- Right.
478
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,001
- It was funny, man.
479
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,257
First half of the book,
480
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,257
"funny, man?"
481
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:02,592
I'm, I'm, trying to explain it
482
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,219
I just can't say it
483
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,219
as good as he wrote it.
484
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,554
You know guys this could be why
485
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,556
most people read both
486
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,556
halves of the book.
487
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,890
Alright, this
488
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,890
is ridiculous.
489
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,892
I'm done with shortcuts.
490
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,936
I'm gonna read the whole book.
491
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,936
I missed a lot of good things
492
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,772
Yeah, you know, it's like
493
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,772
ordering a pizza
494
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,525
and then stopping after
495
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,525
only six slices.
496
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,943
Yeah, like only
497
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,943
seeing half a movie.
498
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,570
I remember I walked
499
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,570
into "Tootsie" late once
500
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:23,822
and I kept saying to myself
501
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,199
"Who's that ugly woman?"
502
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:30,077
Come on. We got some
503
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:30,077
reading to do.
504
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:33,498
Hey, you know, in "Tootsie,"
505
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:33,498
that was a guy.
506
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,919
No, seriously, he
507
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,919
was wearing a wig..
508
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,047
You know, Deej, I think that
509
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,047
your Uncle Jesse is gonna be
510
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,257
a really positive
511
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,257
influence on Steve.
512
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,552
Yeah, and even if
513
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,552
his grades don't improve
514
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,679
his hair's gonna
515
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,679
look great.
516
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,598
Joey, look at this phone bill.
517
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,851
$2.00, $6.00, $3.00.
518
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,813
Danny, I have never called
519
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,813
a 976 number in my life.
520
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,233
Okay, once.
521
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,693
I tried that dating service
522
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:05,112
but I stopped after
523
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:05,112
I got my Aunt Frieda.
524
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,574
Joey, I'm not accusing you,
525
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,574
I'm just asking you.
526
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,034
But why I'm I always the one
527
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,034
who gets asked, I mean
528
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,661
somebody leaves cheese
529
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,661
in the hamper
530
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,705
right away, it's my fault.
531
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,875
The gouda was in
532
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,875
your pants.
533
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:21,254
Ha. Like you never left a wedge
534
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:21,254
of cheese in your pants.
535
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:26,509
I'm just gonna call this number
536
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:26,509
myself and see what it is.
537
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,470
Does anybody want
538
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,470
to hear another joke?
539
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:33,474
How could you tell if there's a
540
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:33,474
elephant's in the refrigerator?
541
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,935
By the footprints
542
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,935
in the butter.
543
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,691
How'd you know that?
544
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,652
Your funny buddy
545
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,652
just told me.
546
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:47,321
- Uh-oh.
547
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:47,321
- Ooh.
548
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,699
You're busted.
549
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,743
Joey, you were right.
550
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,743
I'm sorry.
551
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,953
Now, could you do me a favor
552
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,953
and drive Denise home?
553
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,204
'Cause I wanna talk to Michelle
554
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,956
about her funny buddy
555
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,956
phone bill.
556
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:59,041
Certainly. But in this
557
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:59,041
wonderful land of ours
558
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,376
that I like to call America
559
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,503
everyone is innocent
560
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,503
until proven guilty.
561
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,799
♪ My country ♪
562
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,217
♪ 'tis of ♪
563
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,594
♪ thee ♪
564
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:10,511
I love you people.
565
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,179
♪ Sweet land of.. ♪♪
566
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,433
Michelle.
567
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,769
Did you know these funny
568
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,769
buddy calls cost money?
569
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,104
- Yes, I did.
570
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,104
- You did?
571
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,941
Did you know that every call
572
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,941
you make shows up on this bill?
573
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:26,402
No, but I do wish
574
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:26,402
somebody told me.
575
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,321
So, you knew you
576
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,321
were doing wrong
577
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,114
but you still went
578
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,114
ahead and did it.
579
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:33,701
I'm really sorry, daddy,
580
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:33,701
I'll never do it again.
581
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,912
Hold it. Not so fast.
582
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,294
I mean, come back here, please.
583
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,966
You know, sometimes saying
584
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,966
you're sorry is not enough.
585
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,885
But sometimes it is.
586
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,679
No, not this time, okay?
587
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,722
Every night this week, you are
588
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,722
gonna go to bed an hour earlier
589
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,933
'cause I want you think
590
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,933
about what you've done.
591
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,267
But that's not fair.
592
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,353
Well, I think it is fair,
593
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,353
I want you upstairs.
594
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,729
- But--
595
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,729
- No, no "buts ."
596
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,691
I want you upstairs pronto.
597
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:11,948
[grumbling]
598
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:11,948
I can't believe daddy's so mean.
599
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:11,948
I cant do anything.
600
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,078
I'm never talking
601
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,078
to daddy again.
602
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,747
He's a big meanie.
603
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,708
Don't say that.
604
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:24,126
He's making me
605
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:24,126
go to bed early.
606
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,294
Big deal.
607
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,046
It is to me.
608
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:30,758
Look, I'm telling you.
609
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:30,758
Don't ever call dad names.
610
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,635
You can't tell me what to do.
611
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,388
Yes, I can.
612
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,388
I'm your big sister.
613
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,891
You're not that big.
614
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,017
I'm bigger than you.
615
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,142
- So?
616
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,142
- So?
617
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,268
- So?
618
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,268
- So?
619
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,021
- So?
620
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,021
- So?
621
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:46,106
Hey, hey, hey, Itchy, Scratchy,
622
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:46,106
what's going on?
623
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,441
I'm trying to read out here.
624
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:51,738
Michelle's saying terrible
625
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:51,738
things about dad.
626
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,531
Daddy punished me.
627
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,950
Oh, now, Michelle, listen,
628
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,950
your dad's a very fair man.
629
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,076
If he punished you,
630
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,076
I'm sure there
631
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,411
must've been a good reason.
632
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,371
Well, there is.
633
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,582
But I still don't like it.
634
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,294
- You hang in there, okay?
635
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,294
- Okay.
636
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,923
Come on, Comet.
637
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,923
Watch me brush my teeth.
638
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:13,342
It's almost my new bedtime.
639
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,392
Big deal, so she has
640
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,392
to go to bed early.
641
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,311
Doesn't she know
642
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,311
how lucky we are?
643
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,481
Some kids get punished
644
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,481
a lot worse than that.
645
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,985
Stephanie, where's
646
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,985
this coming from?
647
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:35,073
Here. Sit down here.
648
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,824
Is there something you
649
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,824
want to talk about?
650
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,367
Yeah.
651
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,457
I can't hear you
652
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,457
unless you speak up.
653
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:47,126
I can't, I promised
654
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:47,126
I wouldn't tell.
655
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,128
And you guys taught me
656
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,128
never to break a promise.
657
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,880
Yes, that's a,
658
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,880
that's a good rule
659
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:54,092
but once in a while there are
660
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:54,092
exceptions to every rule.
661
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,969
- There are?
662
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,969
- Yeah.
663
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,386
Yeah, like that one about,
664
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,386
you know
665
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,763
not being able to swim
666
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,763
after you eat.
667
00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,973
You know, you have
668
00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,973
to wait an hour.
669
00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:01,515
I hate that rule.
670
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,517
I mean, sure it applies,
671
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,517
say, you eat steak dinner.
672
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,144
You have a steak, you have
673
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,144
a nice baked potato
674
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,813
some sour cream,
675
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,813
then yes, an hour.
676
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,023
But say you eat a cracker,
677
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,023
see this makes no sense.
678
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,109
Here's where the exception
679
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,109
comes in. You eat a cracker
680
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,486
I say boom, five minutes,
681
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,486
ba-da-bing, you're in the pool.
682
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:16,363
Right? A peanut, I say, eat the
683
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:16,363
peanut and swim, who cares
684
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,158
right? There's all these excep..
685
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,158
A plethora of exceptions here.
686
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,368
Uncle Jesse,
687
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,368
I don't think this
688
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,579
is that kind of exception.
689
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,039
Well, look, Step,
690
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,039
you're a very smart kid.
691
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,792
Just use your common sense.
692
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,962
If I tell you, can we
693
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,962
just keep it between us?
694
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:32,839
Well, I can't promise that
695
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,215
unless I know what
696
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,215
the secret is.
697
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,885
That's what I should've said.
698
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:41,722
Okay, There's this kid
699
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:41,722
in my class, Charles.
700
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:45,768
His father hits him. Bad.
701
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,728
He really hurts him,
702
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,728
Uncle Jesse.
703
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:51,107
- Are you sure, Steph?
704
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:51,107
- Positive.
705
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,442
He told me all about it.
706
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,695
And he wasn't in school today.
707
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:59,198
The teacher said he
708
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:59,198
had another "accident."
709
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,449
Oh, I gotta report this
710
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,449
right now.
711
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,076
- Why?
712
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,076
- Because..
713
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,537
...if I don't, I'm gonna
714
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,537
straighten him out myself.
715
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,622
No, Uncle Jesse. Please.
716
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,709
I swore I wouldn't tell.
717
00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:13,046
Listen, sweetheart
718
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,214
I know you want
719
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,214
to keep your promise.
720
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:16,841
But if you know
721
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:16,841
this is happening
722
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,052
and you don't say
723
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,052
anything about it
724
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:22,471
you're only helping it
725
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:22,471
happen again.
726
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:26,350
But what'll happen to Charles
727
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:26,350
if we report it?
728
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,854
What'll happen to Charles
729
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,854
if we don't?
730
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,117
Steph, I'm glad
731
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,117
you're home.
732
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,578
Listen, I wanna
733
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,578
to talk to you
734
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,914
about your pal
735
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,914
Charles, okay?
736
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:51,084
It's been a week and
737
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:51,084
he's still not in school.
738
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,585
I'm worried about him.
739
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,921
I know. Listen, um..
740
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,380
...I made some calls today.
741
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:59,842
And The Child Welfare
742
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:59,842
people, um..
743
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,344
...they took Charles, and they
744
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,344
put him in a foster family.
745
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,723
They took him away
746
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,723
from his home?
747
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,350
I never should've told you.
748
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,350
now he's gonna hate me.
749
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,019
This is all your fault.
750
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,063
Stephanie, knock it off.
751
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,063
Stephanie, listen.
752
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,564
It's not my fault.
753
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,564
It's not your fault.
754
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,191
We weren't the ones
755
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,191
hurting Charles.
756
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,110
Then why they had to take
757
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,110
him out of his house?
758
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,237
They had to,
759
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,237
he wasn't safe there.
760
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,529
What's gonna happen to Charles?
761
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:22,322
Well, Charles and
762
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:22,322
his father need help.
763
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,075
And now they're gonna get it.
764
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,120
Sweetheart, please believe me,
765
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,120
you did the right thing.
766
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,873
Then why do I feel so lousy?
767
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,542
'Cause it's a lousy
768
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,542
situation, kid.
769
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,922
But, listen
770
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,382
I realize how hard
771
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,382
this was for you.
772
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:43,094
But the bottom line
773
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:43,094
is thanks to you
774
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,096
thanks to Stephanie
775
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:48,015
Charles' father
776
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:48,015
can't hurt him tonight.
777
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:50,517
What made his
778
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:50,517
father so mean?
779
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,563
I don't know.
780
00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:56,523
I look at you girls
781
00:21:56,565 --> 00:22:00,027
and I look at Nicky and Alex..
782
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,155
...how can anyone
783
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,155
hurt their child?
784
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:08,161
Dad just pulled in.
785
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:08,161
It's time for dinner.
786
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,790
Let's go eat.
787
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:17,128
Okay, everybody,
788
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:17,128
I got pizzas.
789
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,672
Eat them while they're hot.
790
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,799
(Joey)
791
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,799
'Pass it around.'
792
00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:27,930
Thanks.
793
00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:27,930
What was that for?
794
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:30,516
Nothing.
795
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:30,516
I just felt like it.
796
00:22:30,557 --> 00:22:32,977
I'll take a free hug anytime.
797
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,691
Okay, here we go.
798
00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,203
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
799
00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:53,331
[theme music]
800
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:13,893
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
801
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:15,978
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪