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[instrumental music]
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Ah! Finished.
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I love recycling.
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Michelle, if you're
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the one trying to earn
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the Honeybee environmental badge
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how come we're doing
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all the work?
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I don't know.
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But keep working
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while I think about it.
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[theme music]
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♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
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♪ Aaah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman
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the paperboy evening TV ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere.. ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere.. ♪
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♪ There's a face
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of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there
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and you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waitin'
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Chity chi bob botta ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Hey, Michelle,
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here are some pizza boxes
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for your recycling project.
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- Thank you, Joey.
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- Where'd you get all those?
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Under my bed.
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Joey, you keep
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pizza boxes under your bed?
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Well, Becky, I gotta
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put 'em somewhere.
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My nightstand's
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covered with doughnuts.
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What's in your
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sox drawer, nachos?
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Hey, stay out
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of my stuff, would you?
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- Hey, guys.
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- Hey.
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Michelle, before D.J. left
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on that ski trip
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she told me about
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your little recycling project.
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So I went ahead and made
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this for you in shop class.
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It's called
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the Steve-o-matic Can Crusher.
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Steve, I didn't know
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you were so mechanical.
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Yeah, well, my shop teacher
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says I got metal in my blood.
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Okay fine, he said
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it was in my skull.
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But, uh, alright, anyway.
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What you do is,
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you take the can
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you put it in here
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you turn the wheel
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and the metal plate
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slowly crushes the can.
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[whirring]
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[whirring continues]
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Don't worry, okay? Because
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I've built in another option.
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- Great.
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- Pretty good, Steve.
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- 'That's impressive.'
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- Hey, everybody.
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- Hey.
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- Hey.
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Uncle Jesse, how'd you
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do on your English final?
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See for yourself.
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Oh, Jess, don't tell me you
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failed. You won't graduate.
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All that hard work
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and studying and..
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- You got an "A."
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- Gotcha.
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Don't do that to me! I hate
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it when you do that to me.
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Just don't hit
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the hair. The hair.
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Hey, congratulations, Jess.
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You're a high school graduate.
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Well, well,
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not till Saturday night.
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They're having a big
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ceremony at the Civic Center
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for all the high
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school graduates.
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And you know
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what's really amazing?
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Yeah, if you rub
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Comet's belly
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his foot shakes really fast.
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What's really amazing is, I'm
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giving the commencement speech.
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- That's great.
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- Oh, Jess, that's wonderful.
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My teacher said
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I was a good example
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because, you know,
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I was a guy who dropped out
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and dropped back in
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and made good and everything.
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Wow, you're an inspiration.
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Oh, no, Steve,
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I'm not an inspiration.
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Maybe a darn good
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role model, though.
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Now, it's gonna be so cool
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there's gonna be thousands
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of people there, right?
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All my old teachers,
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my old principal, the mayor.
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All these people who knew me
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before when I was a screw up
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and they said I'd never make it.
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Well, the mayor never said that
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but if he knew me,
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he would have said it.
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- Wait till they see you now.
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- Yeah.
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And what are you gonna
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say in your speech?
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[clears throat]
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I don't know,
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probably something like, uh..
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[clears throat]
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"Good evening, fellow graduates
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"and all those
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who thought I was a loser.
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Na na na!"
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Well, it should be
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easy to memorize.
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You know, Jess, you ought to
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give it some serious thought.
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Because people are gonna
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remember that speech
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for the rest of
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their lives...if it's any good.
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Or if your fly's open.
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[instrumental music]
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So when you learn
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how to learn, then..
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...that there then is when
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you're really learning
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something about learn..
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What am I saying? I'm nuts.
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[babbling]
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No. Uh-uh.
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Yeah, I know how you guys feel.
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You've been working
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on that puzzle all week.
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I've been working
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on this speech all week.
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You guys wanna switch?
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Here, let me read this to you.
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Come on, guys. Let me, uh,
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let me read this thing.
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And I'll, I'll bounce
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it off you if you will.
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You guys give me a little
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feedback, okay? Here we go.
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"Dear, fellow graduates.."
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- Yay!
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- Yay!
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Thank you. Thank you. Please
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hold your applause till the end.
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[clears throat]
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Okay.
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"What I'm about to say
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"may be the most
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important thing
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that you'll ever hear."
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That's all I got.
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What do you think?
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[both blowing raspberry]
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I know. It stinks.
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Guys, what am I gonna do?
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I gotta give this
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big speech in a couple hours
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in front of thousands of people
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and you know what?
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I got nothing.
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That's it, son.
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Yes, that's the last piece.
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' Good. Get it in there.'
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'Good boy. Alright! Yay!'
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Look at this.
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The cape, the suit.
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Every kid's favorite superhero..
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...Elvis.
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- Elvis!
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- Elvis!
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[chuckles]
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Elvis!
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Oh, you guys are so cool.
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You really wanted
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to learn something
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and you didn't give up.
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You just kept going
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until you got it.
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I'm proud of you, boys.
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I'm proud of you.
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Give daddy a kiss.
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Give me a kiss.
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Muah. Muah.
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Thank you, guys.
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Hey, wait a minute.
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You goobers just gave me
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a great idea for my speech.
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High-fives.
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Give me a high-five.
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Alright, high-five!
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I'm here. Your rug rat wrangler.
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Kimmy, I really appreciate this,
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but fair warning, okay?
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The boys are much more
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active than the last time
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you babysat for them.
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Especially Nicky.
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[chuckles]
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Yesterday, he got into
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Jesse's sock drawer.
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It was so cute.
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He mismatched every pair.
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There were tube socks
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with argyles.
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Oh, that's a classic.
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Can I get paid up front, please?
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Just keep your eye
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on 'em, okay?
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Hey, whatever you want.
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You're the baby owner.
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Thanks. The boys are upstairs.
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Oh, and, tell Jesse to hurry up
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or he'll miss his graduation.
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Okay, I'll tell him.
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Hey, hair boy,
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get your butt down here!
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Hey, Becky,
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I got a great new idea
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for our "Wake up, San Francisco"
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anniversary show.
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Well, what about my idea
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about interviewing the new
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women senators from California
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and discussing the changing
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roles of women in Washington?
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That's cute.
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But how about some
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guy stuff for a change?
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You know, like me
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sparring a few rounds
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with George Foreman, you know?
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That is, if old
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George can handle
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my famous
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one-two combination.
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Hoo ha! Hyah!
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Danny, The Golden Girls could
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handle your one-two combination.
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Joey, we saved this last brownie
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for you. Don't you want it?
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No, thank you.
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Are you sure?
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The man said "no."
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Actually, girls,
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I'm saving my appetite.
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You see, next to
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the Civic Center
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is the world's greatest
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sandwich shop.
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El Bloato's, home of
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the sloppy two-footer. Ha ha.
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00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,694
Yep, sounds like good eatin'.
294
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,238
Hey, everybody,
295
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,238
I finished my speech.
296
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,364
Oh, great. Let's hear it.
297
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,740
No, no, no.
298
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,993
I will give no speech
299
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,993
before it's time.
300
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,494
I can't wait
301
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,494
to get up there, man.
302
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,455
The spotlight hits me,
303
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,455
and I look out and see
304
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,082
all those people who thought
305
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,082
I'd never make it, and I..
306
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,959
Get a picture.
307
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,336
Okay, everybody, let's roll.
308
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,379
Jesse and Rebecca,
309
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,379
you go with Joey
310
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,505
'and Steph and Michelle,
311
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,505
you ride with me.'
312
00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:26,965
You're gonna love this trip.
313
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,925
I got a brand new tape,
314
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,925
I sent away for it
315
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,302
great TV show themes.
316
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:33,096
It has my favorite on it,
317
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:33,096
"Bonanza."
318
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,015
[hums "Bonanza"]
319
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,144
Danny, Danny, Danny,
320
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,144
please, please, please, please.
321
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,854
I hate that song.
322
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,481
When I was a kid, my dentist
323
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,481
used to always hum that
324
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:43,773
when he was drilling me.
325
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,985
Every time I hear it,
326
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,985
it kills my teeth.
327
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,529
I'm sorry. Guess I struck
328
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,529
a nerve. Ha ha ha!
329
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,782
Okay, let's roll.
330
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:53,950
Wait.
331
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,619
Why are we going in two cars?
332
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,456
Because we can't
333
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,456
all fit in one car.
334
00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:01,333
We can all fit in the subway.
335
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,460
It's better for the planet.
336
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,420
Well, that's a good idea.
337
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,420
We'll take the muni.
338
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,629
And besides, it doesn't matter.
339
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,465
Let's take a car,
340
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,465
truck, pogo stick.
341
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,842
People, we got to go. I've a
342
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,842
very important speech to get to.
343
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,135
We're out of here.
344
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,553
[hums "Bonanza"]
345
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,185
[hums "Pomp and Circumstance"]
346
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:31,238
Alright, come on,
347
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:31,238
everybody. Find a seat.
348
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,240
Next stop, my graduation.
349
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:39,037
Daddy, you have
350
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:39,037
a funny mustache.
351
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,788
Michelle, you know
352
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,788
I don't have no mustache.
353
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,123
You do in that picture.
354
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,546
[laughing]
355
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,758
Oh, that's disgraceful.
356
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,011
Come on, Michelle,
357
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,011
let's go sit over here.
358
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,055
- Girls, wait a second--
359
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,055
- I'll go sit with them.
360
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,432
Thanks.
361
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:05,397
Excuse me. Can I get in here?
362
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,317
Excuse me.
363
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:22,663
Excuse me, sir.
364
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:22,663
Littering is bad for the Earth.
365
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,125
And what are you,
366
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,125
the planet monitor?
367
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,962
No, but I would like to be.
368
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,756
Michelle, he's not
369
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,756
going to listen to a kid.
370
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,008
Joey, tell this guy
371
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,008
not to litter.
372
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,969
Yeah, tell him, Joey.
373
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,387
"Yeah, tell him, Joey."
374
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,691
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
375
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,778
You're Danny Tanner
376
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,778
from "Wake up, San Francisco."
377
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,322
How did you recognize him
378
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,322
without the mustache?
379
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,867
And you're Rebecca Donaldson.
380
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,287
I must say you're even
381
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,287
prettier in person.
382
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,122
Oh, thank you.
383
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,041
Actually, I meant Danny.
384
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,794
Oh, thank you.
385
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,212
Don't hate me
386
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,212
because I am beautiful.
387
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,757
[tapping]
388
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,683
Sorry.
389
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,769
I'm just pumped up, you know?
390
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,856
Get this, I'm graduating
391
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,856
high school tonight.
392
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,399
Yeah, can you imagine? Me?
393
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,652
And guess what? They asked
394
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,652
me to give the big speech.
395
00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:34,986
I mean, when I was a kid
396
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,113
I ditched so much,
397
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,113
they retired my excuse note.
398
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,867
Thanks for sharing.
399
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:44,871
Are you nuts?
400
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:47,374
Steven Seagal could
401
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:47,374
beat up Van Damme any day.
402
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,501
I'm telling you, grandma.
403
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,213
Yeah, I'm watching
404
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,213
the little crumb gobblers.
405
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,964
'I got 'em finger painting.'
406
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,471
I don't see what the big
407
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,471
deal is with babysitting.
408
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,473
You give the sawed-off
409
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,473
baloney eaters a project
410
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,225
and then check in
411
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,225
on them every few days.
412
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,726
Aah!
413
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:10,980
Sorry, grandma.
414
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,110
[snoring]
415
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,739
Psst. Joey.
416
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,739
That guy's sleeping on you.
417
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:24,202
Gee, I didn't notice.
418
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,373
Don't worry. I'll handle this.
419
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,583
Wake up, big guy!
420
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,463
Top of the morning.
421
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,897
Hey, why are we slowing down?
422
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,482
There's no stop here.
423
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,482
Why are we stopping?
424
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:57,818
I'm gonna be late
425
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:57,818
for my graduation.
426
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:58,945
Joey, what's going on?
427
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,197
Ah, Jess, listen, don't panic.
428
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,865
I ride these trains
429
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,865
all the time.
430
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,242
The only way
431
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,242
we're gonna be stuck
432
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,244
is if we have some kind
433
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,244
of electrical problem.
434
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:09,038
[electricity crackling]
435
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,249
(male #1 on PA)
436
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,249
'Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
437
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,249
this is your conductor.'
438
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,085
'It seems we've got some
439
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,085
kind of electrical problem.'
440
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,341
Why don't I...go
441
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,341
sit next to the big guy?
442
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,176
I might be a little safer there.
443
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:27,014
I can't believe it.
444
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:27,014
I've got 20 minutes to make it.
445
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,642
Jess, just relax.
446
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,060
This kinda stuff only
447
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,060
usually lasts a couple minutes.
448
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:35,440
(male #1 on PA)
449
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:35,440
'Folks, we're looking at a
450
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:35,440
fairly significant delay here.'
451
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,317
Of course, sometimes there's a
452
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,317
fairly significant delay here.
453
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,154
This is great. I'm gonna
454
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,154
miss my whole graduation.
455
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,947
Could this night be any worse?
456
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,532
'Hey, as long as you're
457
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,532
just sitting here.'
458
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,701
'I just got a new tape
459
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,701
you might all like.'
460
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,370
[instrumental "Bonanza"]
461
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,462
[instrumental music]
462
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,715
Oh, come on. Let's go!
463
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,510
Let's get this crate moving
464
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,510
or I'm gonna start to yell!
465
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,178
Jess, you already are yelling
466
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,221
and it's not gonna get us
467
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,221
to your graduation any sooner.
468
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,349
Neither is this train.
469
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,349
I'm going up front.
470
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,477
Honey, please don't
471
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,477
start any trouble.
472
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,604
Me? Trouble? Come on.
473
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,063
I'm just gonna go up there
474
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,275
and get some answers
475
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,275
in a nice calm orderly fashion.
476
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:23,154
Hey, hey, you with the conductor
477
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:23,154
hat drop that doughnut!
478
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,242
I hear something.
479
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,242
The train's starting.
480
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,954
No, Michelle, that's my stomach
481
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,954
growling. I'm starving.
482
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,713
Oh, my God, an El Bloato.
483
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:45,719
Oh...corned beef,
484
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:45,719
pastrami, and pimento loaf.
485
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,138
- Aah.
486
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,138
- A triple big meaty.
487
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:52,809
Ah.
488
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,648
Finally finished.
489
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,567
Hey, Siegfried, where's Roy?
490
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,652
I don't know.
491
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,113
[dog barking]
492
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,281
Hey, what's going on, Lassie?
493
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,991
Did Timmy fall
494
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,991
in the lake again?
495
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,419
[Kimmy screams]
496
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,053
Oh, come on, Beck.
497
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,055
What could be more fun
498
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,055
for our anniversary show..
499
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,224
...than me, you know,
500
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,224
boxing with George Foreman?
501
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,184
An interview with
502
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,184
two women senators
503
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,437
would be a much stronger piece.
504
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,063
Excuse me.
505
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,815
I couldn't help over hearing
506
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,484
because I was listening
507
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,484
pretty intently.
508
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,487
And I really like
509
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,487
Danny's boxing idea.
510
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,030
There you have it, Beck.
511
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,407
We should listen to
512
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,407
our fans more often.
513
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,284
You know, we forgot
514
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,284
how tuned in they are.
515
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:57,707
Sorry...I've got to
516
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:57,707
take this call.
517
00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,877
Ben? Ben Franklin.
518
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,047
There you go. She tuned in
519
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,047
enough for you, Danny?
520
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,342
Ben, we're fine and you?
521
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,971
Oh.
522
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,348
Oh, you know,
523
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,348
if you'll excuse us
524
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,392
I think we're
525
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,392
gonna be moving along.
526
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,478
I believe some seats
527
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,478
just opened up in reality.
528
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,524
Oh, honey,
529
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,524
what did you find out?
530
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,695
It's a $27 fine to hitchhike
531
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,695
in a subway tunnel.
532
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,530
Eh, it's no use.
533
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,450
Graduation's starting right now.
534
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,910
Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry.
535
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,918
Dad, isn't there
536
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,918
something we can do?
537
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,755
Yes, there is, honey.
538
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,343
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.
539
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:51,928
(Danny)
540
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:51,928
'I'm-I'm sorry to bother you'
541
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:55,014
but, uh, my brother-in-law here
542
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:58,100
just missed his high school
543
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:58,100
graduation ceremony
544
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,187
and he's feeling
545
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,187
really low and..
546
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,730
...we're all
547
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,730
on a subway together
548
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,566
so, you know,
549
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,566
it's even lower than low.
550
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,694
(Danny)
551
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,694
But, you know, sometimes in life
552
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,028
we get a chance
553
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,028
to lift the spirits
554
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,155
of a fellow human being and..
555
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,573
...this is one of those times.
556
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,868
What do you say,
557
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,868
right here, right now.
558
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,036
We all pitch in,
559
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,036
and...and throw this guy
560
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:19,079
the best darn
561
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:19,079
graduation ceremony
562
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,999
this town's ever seen, huh?
563
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,921
That's the spirit.
564
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,800
Danny, sit down.
565
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,218
Before I was depressed.
566
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:33,970
Now, I'm depressed
567
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:33,970
and embarrassed.
568
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,349
Oh, sweetheart..
569
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,767
...I know that
570
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,767
you're disappointed
571
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,227
because you're missing
572
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,227
your graduation
573
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,312
but...you're still gonna
574
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,312
get your diploma.
575
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,731
Oh, come on, honey,
576
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,731
don't you understand?
577
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,899
Right now they're
578
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,899
calling my name
579
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:46,900
to come up on that stage
580
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,067
and give that important speech
581
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,777
and you know what,
582
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,777
I'm not there.
583
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,404
And all my teachers
584
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,404
and my principals are saying
585
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,697
"Yeah, he messed up again.
586
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,448
That's the Katsopolis
587
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,448
we know, a bum."
588
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,412
Uncle Jesse,
589
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,412
I'm sorry you're sad.
590
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,916
Ah, that's okay, shorty.
591
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:05,167
I guess I'm just not
592
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:05,167
the graduating type, huh?
593
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,424
Dude, I hear you.
594
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:14,761
School's a waste.
595
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:14,761
That's why I dropped out.
596
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,972
Smartest move I ever made.
597
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,348
You got any spare change?
598
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,061
Oh, yeah, you're doing good.
599
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,395
Hey, it's better
600
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,395
than being in school
601
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,022
reading books
602
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,022
by a bunch of dead guys.
603
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,360
Some of those books
604
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,360
are cool, man.
605
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,403
You ever read Shakespeare?
606
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:36,699
I don't know. Who wrote it?
607
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:39,285
Go back to school
608
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:39,285
as fast as you can.
609
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,327
Run if you have to.
610
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,746
Hey..
611
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,248
...I didn't jump
612
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,248
the turnstile to listen to this.
613
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,501
You know what, man,
614
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,501
I know who you are
615
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:48,711
and I know where you're going.
616
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,338
You know where that is?
617
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,338
That's nowhere.
618
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,257
What am I supposed to do?
619
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,259
School is hard, dude.
620
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,929
"School is hard, dude."
621
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,305
Life is hard, man.
622
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,724
I mean...am I right,
623
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,724
is life hard?
624
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,726
- You better believe it.
625
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,726
- You listen to this man.
626
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,561
And nobody's gonna
627
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,561
do it for you, am I right?
628
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,564
(all)
629
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,564
Yeah.
630
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,817
Scoot over.
631
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,027
See, it's, uh, it's like I
632
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,027
was gonna say in my speech.
633
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,695
You know I had
634
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,695
this whole thing worked out
635
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,782
about once you start something,
636
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,782
you gotta stick to it.
637
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,199
My kids are so cool, man.
638
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,952
They been playing with
639
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,952
this Elvis puzzle all week.
640
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,703
They couldn't get it, they keep
641
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,703
trying, they keep trying
642
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,956
they keep trying and guess what?
643
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,956
Today they get it.
644
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,374
They get their last piece.
645
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,374
Elvis' left sideburn.
646
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,253
They were so proud
647
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,253
of themselves.
648
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,505
Don't you want to know
649
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,505
what that feels like?
650
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,091
Don't you wanna be
651
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,091
proud about something?
652
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,052
Guess that would be
653
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,052
nice for a change.
654
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:41,764
Listen, man, I know where you
655
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:41,764
come from. I was just like you.
656
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,016
Dropped out of school
657
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:45,184
rode my Harley,
658
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:45,184
gigged with a band.
659
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:46,894
I thought I was so cool.
660
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,147
But when I was alone
661
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,147
and I looked in that mirror..
662
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,690
...something was wrong.
663
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:53,734
I mean, sure, my hair looked
664
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:53,734
great and everything but..
665
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,112
...something was missing.
666
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,112
I didn't feel right inside.
667
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:57,738
You know what was missing?
668
00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,406
My diploma.
669
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,701
The last piece of the puzzle.
670
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,453
The left sideburn, if you will.
671
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:06,622
Yeah, but I can't go back now.
672
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,709
I've been out for two weeks.
673
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,545
I was out for 11 years.
674
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,545
I went back.
675
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,255
Listen, if I can do it,
676
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,255
you can do it.
677
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,258
You think so?
678
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,178
What do you think
679
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,178
I've been talking..
680
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,804
People, can he go back?
681
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,804
Can he go?
682
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:22,972
(all)
683
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:22,972
Yeah.
684
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:23,973
Let's hear it.
685
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,933
(all)
686
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,933
Yeah!
687
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,185
See that?
688
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,644
Listen, you've got
689
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,644
a subway full of people
690
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,938
who really, really
691
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,938
care about you.
692
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,815
Now, come on.
693
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,815
You gonna go back?
694
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,358
Yes or no? Tell me.
695
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,609
(male #2)
696
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,609
'Don't give up, man.'
697
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,112
(female #1)
698
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,112
'Say yes. Come on.'
699
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,573
Alright. I'm gonna do it.
700
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:41,949
Alright!
701
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,704
You know something else
702
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,704
before long
703
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:47,788
you'll be wearing
704
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:47,788
that cap and gown
705
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:48,998
and marching down that aisle
706
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,250
just like I was
707
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,250
supposed to do tonight.
708
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,627
[instrumental
709
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,627
"Pomp and Circumstance"]
710
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,513
Well, they're playing
711
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,513
your song, Jess.
712
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,099
You ready to graduate?
713
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,391
Here?
714
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,518
Hey, here's as good
715
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,518
as anyplace else.
716
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,853
Ain't going anywhere.
717
00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:14,107
Here, honey. Don't forget this.
718
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,816
Okay.
719
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,317
Ladies and gentlemen
720
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,279
welcome to our
721
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,279
commencement ceremony.
722
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,241
This milestone comes
723
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,241
but once in a lifetime.
724
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,575
And it's my great honor
725
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,494
to present the graduates
726
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,494
in alphabetical order.
727
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,581
- Jesse Katsopolis.
728
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,581
- Thank you! Thank you!
729
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,167
Thank you. Thank you.
730
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,211
(Jesse)
731
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,211
'Thank you.'
732
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:37,255
I'm sorry, sweetie.
733
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:37,255
I don't have a diploma.
734
00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:40,967
Uh, do you mind?
735
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:42,676
Uh, sure, go ahead.
736
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,220
I'm getting all misty.
737
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:50,476
Hey, look at that.
738
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:50,476
The Canucks traded their goalie.
739
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:51,644
Read it later.
740
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,022
Your diploma, Mr. Graduate.
741
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:56,565
Thank you.
742
00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:59,902
Are you still sad you
743
00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:59,902
missed your real graduation?
744
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,403
Nah, munchkin. That's alright.
745
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:04,698
I mean, you know,
746
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:04,698
graduating is...is not about
747
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,575
impressing a bunch of people
748
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,575
and getting a diploma.
749
00:22:06,617 --> 00:22:08,911
It's about, uh,
750
00:22:06,617 --> 00:22:08,911
it's about learning something
751
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:11,122
and sharing it
752
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:11,122
with the people you love.
753
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:14,583
And a subway full of strangers.
754
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,418
You know, maybe those 2,000
755
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,418
people didn't hear you
756
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,505
but, uh, I know another
757
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,505
young guy that sure did.
758
00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:25,552
[instrumental music]
759
00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:30,308
[indistinct chattering]
760
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:32,852
Hey, either the train's moving
761
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,895
or Joey's stomach
762
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,895
is out of control.
763
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,314
[laughing]
764
00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:38,274
Well, Jess, you're
765
00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:38,274
a high school graduate.
766
00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:40,818
What are you gonna do now?
767
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:41,986
I'm going to El Bloato's.
768
00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:43,612
Alright!
769
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:46,282
[instrumental "Bonanza"]
770
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,166
["Bonanza" theme continues]
771
00:23:07,385 --> 00:23:09,930
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
772
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,558
[theme music]
773
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,369
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
774
00:23:32,703 --> 00:23:35,873
♪ Chity chi bob botta ♪♪