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[instrumental music]
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Now, you look sharp.
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Thank you.
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Oh, there you are, boys.
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Hey, come on,
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it's time to eat.
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Oh, very classy.
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Nicky, who are you
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supposed to be?
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That's my daddy.
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[imitating Popeye]
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Huh, I guess you
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still have a problem
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with that Windsor knot, eh?
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(Joey)
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'Agukgukgugkguk.'
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And who are you
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supposed to be, Alex?
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He's Uncle Jesse.
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[chuckles]
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Well, Michelle, you got
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Uncle Jesse and you got daddy.
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I'm starting to feel
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a little left out here.
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- I didn't forget you.
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- Okay.
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[theme music]
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♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
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♪ Aaah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman
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the paperboy evening TV ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere.. ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere.. ♪
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♪ There's a face
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of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there
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and you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waitin'
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Chity chi bob botta ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Hey, girls.
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- Where's D.J.?
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- She's upstairs.
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Okay, come on, everybody!
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D.J., come on,
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let's go! Come on!
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Come on, down. Let's go!
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Joey, what's going on?
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I haven't seen you this excited
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since they brought
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back the McRib.
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[chuckles]
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Becky, I am way past the McRib.
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- 'Joey, what is it?'
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- Okay, come on, you guys.
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Well, you ready for
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your birthday present?
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More? Joey, you already
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took me to the hockey game.
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Well, that was just to take
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your mind off the fact
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that I didn't get you
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a real birthday present.
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Come on, let's go!
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Come on, everybody. Let's go.
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Happy 16th birthday!
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Aah! It's a car!
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It's a red car!
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It's my red car!
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Joey, thank you!
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Whoa! '77 Firebird.
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Joey, this is some
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serious ride that you're..
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- Is that a car?
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- That's a very nice car, huh.
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Hey, you be nice
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to Joey, okay?
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Because maybe for your birthday
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he'll get you those
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beautiful diamond earrings
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I've been,
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you've been wanting.
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- Come on.
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- There you go.
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Say bye-bye.
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Say bye-bye, Joey.
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- 'Bye-bye, Joey.'
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- 'Bye, everybody.'
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Steve, get in.
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You mean,
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I can eat in your car?
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Sure.
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I love you.
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Wow!
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This is even cooler than what
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Joey got me for my birthday.
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Michelle, you got a slinky.
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I said it was cooler.
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Joey, when I agreed
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to let you buy D.J. a car
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I-I told you I wanted
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to pick it out with you.
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I mean, I bought
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all the consumer guides.
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I called Ralph Nader.
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I'm sorry, Danny, but it was
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a great car and a great deal
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and the woman who was selling it
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had another offer coming in.
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So I had to jump on it.
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Joey, I love this car!
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The power windows,
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the stereo, the tee-tops.
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Don't forget to tell
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your dad about the seat belts
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the padded dash,
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and trash bags front and rear.
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Well, I love it all.
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And I promise
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I'll be really careful.
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Trash bags front and rear?
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I know you'll be careful.
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Enjoy the car, honey.
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Aw, Joey, you just made
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one new driver really happy.
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[chuckles]
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Well, thanks, Danny.
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You know I couldn't
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love D.J. any more
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if she were
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my own daughter. Muah.
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Kimmy, Steve, I'll go get
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my license and we'll cruise.
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Do you people have any
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idea how good I look
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with my hair
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flowing in the wind?
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None whatsoever.
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Joey, you mind
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if I start her up?
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Oh, no. Be my guest.
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She's in great shape.
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Really cherry.
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See, the little old lady
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who sold it only drove it--
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Don't tell me
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on Sundays to church.
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No, actually it was Wednesdays
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to electrolysis.
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[engine cranks]
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Yes, she's purring now.
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Look at this
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high gloss paint job.
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This car is absolutely perfect
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except for this little
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speck on the windshield
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which, of course,
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we'll take care of right now.
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Well, that's better. Okay.
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The important thing is
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this car runs great.
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[engine sputtering]
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Joey, didn't you have
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a mechanic look at the car?
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Well, of course I...no.
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Well, looks like the battery's
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about 10 years old.
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The, uh..
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...the fan belt
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looks loose and..
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...whatever this gum
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is holding together..
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...it ain't holding it
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together anymore.
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Why do I let you out
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without adult supervision?
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What am I going to tell D.J.?
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She was so darn happy.
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Mm. It's alright, Joey.
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You know what?
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- I think I can fix it.
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- You think?
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I don't want her driving a car
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that'll breakdown all the time.
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Well, me neither,
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it's not one big thing
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it looks like
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a bunch of little things
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and you know what,
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it'll be no problems in the..
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...skilled hands
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of Mr. Good Hair.
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Don't you mean Mr. Good Wrench?
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No.
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Uh, can you stall D.J. while
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I work on these things?
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Stall? Me? Ha ha.
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Hey, no problem.
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You know what I'll do? I'll
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tell her about my first car.
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What a cream puff
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that thing was.
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Wow, push-button transmission
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scotch-guarded floor mats,
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A.M. radio.
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You want range,
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you gotta go A.M.
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I remember one time I was just,
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you know, cruising around.
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I picked up Winnemucca,
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Nevada. Back in--
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Stall them, not us.
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Right.
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♪ Beep beep beep beep ♪
226
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♪ The horn went
227
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beep beep beep ♪
228
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Okay, now, just the boys.
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♪ Beep beep beep beep ♪
230
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♪ The horn went
231
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beep beep beep ♪
232
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Alright, come on,
233
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now just the girls.
234
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♪ Beep beep beep beep ♪
235
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♪ The horn went
236
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beep beep beep ♪
237
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(Danny)
238
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'Now, everybody!
239
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Little louder this time, okay?'
240
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♪ Beep beep beep beep ♪♪
241
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- Joey?
242
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- Yeah.
243
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- Hand me the socket wrench.
244
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- Okay, I'm on it.
245
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,843
Socket wrench.
246
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:10,013
Socket wrench. Okay.
247
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,973
Socket wrench.
248
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,518
Oh, socket wrench.
249
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Man's best friend.
250
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Oh, look, the paper boy.
251
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Yeah, Jess, I found
252
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the socket wrench.
253
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:28,823
One socket wrench
254
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:28,823
coming at you.
255
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Ow!
256
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Next tool you drop on my head
257
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will be permanently
258
00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:36,206
inserted up your nose.
259
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:39,167
I'm sorry. Least I dropped
260
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the right tool this time.
261
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- Just start the car, huh?
262
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- Okay.
263
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- Alright. Let her rip.
264
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,300
- Okay.
265
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,260
[engine cranks]
266
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,180
(Joey)
267
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,180
'Brilliant!'
268
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:55,016
Jess, you are brilliant!
269
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Oh-ho.
270
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Oh.
271
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Oil-soaked, but brilliant.
272
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[Jesse chuckles]
273
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[both chuckling]
274
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,160
Joey, uh..
275
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:16,496
you know, earlier when I asked
276
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you to change the oil filter.
277
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Might have you forgotten
278
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to say, uh, tighten it down?
279
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,209
Well, uh..
280
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,878
...judging by your,
281
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uh, your face
282
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I'd-I'd say that's
283
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,215
a distinct possibility, yes.
284
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,259
Hi, guys.
285
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,259
Something wrong with the car?
286
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:33,305
Oh, no. Couldn't be better.
287
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:33,305
Runs great. Fine.
288
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,015
You bought a lemon, huh?
289
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,557
Look, the car's gonna be fine
290
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if I can just
291
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,226
get back to work here.
292
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,271
Now, I need some help. Steph,
293
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,271
can you get me another shirt?
294
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,897
- Consider it done.
295
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,897
- 'Thanks.'
296
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,193
Is there anything I can do?
297
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,280
♪ Beep beep beep beep ♪♪
298
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:52,240
Somebody shoot me.
299
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,910
Look, Mr. Tanner,
300
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,910
we're all pretty beeped out.
301
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,372
Dad, when can I have my car?
302
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,956
I-I-I told you,
303
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,956
in a little while.
304
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,624
Right now, the guys
305
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,624
are, are cleaning it.
306
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,001
Joey's probably
307
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,001
going over the seats
308
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,878
with a can of Armor All
309
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,878
and a q-tip.
310
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,171
Lucky duck.
311
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:12,135
Wait, wait! Uh...look
312
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:12,135
who's coming! It's, uh..
313
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,929
(Danny)
314
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,929
'Aunt Becky with
315
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,929
Michelle and the boys!'
316
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,056
Say, "Hi, Aunt Becky."
317
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,475
- Hi, Aunt Becky.
318
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,475
- Hi, guys.
319
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,519
Uh, listen, Jesse and Joey
320
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,519
need a few more minutes
321
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,354
to...wash the car.
322
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,731
So, um, does anyone
323
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,731
wanna help me and Michelle
324
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:27,067
put Nicky and Alex
325
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:27,067
down for their N-A-P?
326
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,027
Yeah, N-A-P time.
327
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,404
Oh, no.
328
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,990
Oh, no.
329
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,993
I think they got it
330
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,993
figured O-U-T.
331
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,288
Yeah, but you know
332
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,288
what would be F-U-N?
333
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,749
- Driving my car?
334
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,749
- In a little while.
335
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,501
But first, Michelle,
336
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,501
why don't you show D.J.
337
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:46,169
what you, Nicky and Alex
338
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:46,169
have been working on?
339
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,462
We're starting a band.
340
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,631
It's called Michelle,
341
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,631
Nicky, and Alex.
342
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,552
Mm, must've taken a long time
343
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,552
to come up with that name.
344
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,305
Okay, Michelle, here you go.
345
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,890
Hit it.
346
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,561
Okay, boys,
347
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,561
"Pop Goes the Weasel" in C.
348
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,854
(Michelle)
349
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,854
'And one, and two'
350
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,981
and one, two, three.
351
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,067
♪ All around the mulberry bush ♪
352
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,944
♪ The monkey chased the weasel ♪
353
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,238
♪ What the heck
354
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,238
is a mulberry bush ♪
355
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,490
♪ Pop goes the weasel ♪
356
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,451
♪ All around the mulberry bush ♪
357
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,660
♪ That monkey
358
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,660
chased that weasel ♪
359
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,955
♪ Everybody had lots of fun ♪
360
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,124
♪ Pop goes the weasel ♪
361
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,334
♪ All around the mulberry bush ♪
362
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,253
♪ The monkey chased the.. ♪♪
363
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:39,097
Well, what do you think?
364
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,681
Beautiful.
365
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,681
She's purring like a kitten.
366
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,849
Wait, kids! Not yet!
367
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,602
♪ Michael row
368
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,602
the boat ashore ♪
369
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,520
♪ Hallelujah ♪♪
370
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,522
Danny, it's okay.
371
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,522
It's okay. We're ready.
372
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,190
Don't you guys wanna
373
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,190
hear the last verse?
374
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,401
I didn't want to hear
375
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,401
the first verse.
376
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:53,861
This way, milady.
377
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:57,157
Your chariot awaits.
378
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,951
Finally.
379
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,746
Wow, Deej, you know,
380
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,746
I am so excited for you
381
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,625
I'm gonna buy you
382
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,625
your first tank of gas.
383
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,920
Uh-oh. Well, uh,
384
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,920
how about your first gallon?
385
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,797
[chuckles]
386
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,797
Thanks.
387
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,342
Let's start her up.
388
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,385
[engine cranks]
389
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:18,886
Yes!
390
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,679
- Yes.
391
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,679
- Yes.
392
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,392
[siren wailing]
393
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,197
Alright, guys.
394
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,366
Let me handle this.
395
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,285
Afternoon, sir.
396
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,498
Oh, you're a lady. Ha ha ha.
397
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,582
Okay, hi.
398
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,083
Uh, well, listen, officer
399
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:52,587
or should I call you
400
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:52,587
officerette? Ha ha ha.
401
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,712
- Back off.
402
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,712
- Anyone else wanna handle this?
403
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,715
- You?
404
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,715
- Whose car is this?
405
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,468
It's mine, officer.
406
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,845
I, uh, I gave it
407
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,845
to her for her birthday.
408
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:01,846
Is there a problem here?
409
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:02,972
There won't be if you all keep
410
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,265
your hands where I can see them
411
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:07,686
and back away from the vehicle.
412
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,314
Except you.
413
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,283
You'll have to answer
414
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,283
a few questions.
415
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,535
This car is stolen.
416
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,120
[intense music]
417
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,171
[instrumental music]
418
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,721
What's going on?
419
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:44,305
You know the car Joey got me
420
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,140
the police think he stole it.
421
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,476
What? They're nuts.
422
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,103
You want to repeat that, ma'am?
423
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,315
Not really.
424
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,236
Once again,
425
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,236
I'll, uh, I'll handle this.
426
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,822
Officer, uh..
427
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,825
...you know, I noticed you
428
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,825
drove a real nice motorcycle.
429
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,329
I, uh...drive
430
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,329
a Harley Davidson myself.
431
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,872
- Who cares?
432
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,872
- Not me.
433
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,460
I'm gonna go sit down.
434
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,963
Excuse me. Are you
435
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,963
really a police officer?
436
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,465
Yes, I am.
437
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,760
Good, 'cause somebody
438
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,760
at school stole my eraser.
439
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,599
Michelle, who cares?
440
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,601
We've got bigger problems here.
441
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:31,436
Joey stole a car!
442
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,354
Steph!
443
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,066
I mean, he leased it.
444
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,236
Look, I didn't
445
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,236
steal anything, okay?
446
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,405
I was at the bank, and there
447
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,405
was this little old lady
448
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,240
with a "For Sale" sign.
449
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,410
Not on the little old lady
450
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,410
on the car.
451
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,454
We need proof of ownership.
452
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,705
Do you have a pink slip?
453
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,791
Let me take
454
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,791
another shot at this.
455
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,501
Of course he has a pink slip.
456
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,294
I mean, what kind of idiot
457
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,294
buys a car without a pink slip?
458
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,545
Joey, show her the pink slip.
459
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,508
Show her the pink slip.
460
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,718
She said she'd mail it.
461
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,094
[chuckles]
462
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:08,973
She-she said she'd mail it.
463
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:12,393
Well, I mean, surely you see the
464
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:12,393
humor in this whole situation.
465
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,438
Me, either.
466
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,438
Again I'm gonna sit.
467
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,859
Joey, um..
468
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,153
...do you have anything
469
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,153
to prove to this nice officer
470
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,197
that you actually
471
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,197
bought this car?
472
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,115
Well, uh, no.
473
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,826
I can describe the little
474
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,826
old lady I bought it from.
475
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,452
- Oh, that's great.
476
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,452
- That's good.
477
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,662
(Danny)
478
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,662
'He can describe
479
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,662
the little old lady.'
480
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,163
Yeah. Uh..
481
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,248
She was, uh, she was little
482
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,501
and, uh, she was old
483
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,918
and-and those eyes
484
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,713
I'll never forget those eyes.
485
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,508
There were two of them.
486
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,262
Just...take me away.
487
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,347
Now, wait, wait.
488
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,347
Wait a second.
489
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,058
I...I know this looks bad.
490
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,267
Real bad.
491
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,186
Pretty much an
492
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,186
open-and-shut case.
493
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:59,440
But, but look, I have
494
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:59,440
known Joey my entire life.
495
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,734
He's my best friend
496
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,861
and, officer, I can assure you
497
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,153
he's telling the truth.
498
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,905
Sir, do you really
499
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,905
expect me to believe
500
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,324
that a grown man would
501
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,324
pay cash to a total stranger
502
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,159
for a car,
503
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,159
and not get a pink slip?
504
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,204
Like I said, it's an
505
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,204
open-and-shut case.
506
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:17,542
Listen, officer, you know,
507
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:17,542
I-I see the problem here.
508
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,378
The problem is you-you
509
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,378
look at Joey and see a grown man
510
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,881
you know, but if you knew him..
511
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,965
...you'd know it ain't true.
512
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,133
I don't follow.
513
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,512
Well, then follow me.
514
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,347
Come on. Come on, everybody.
515
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,768
Now, I ask you, officer
516
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:37,729
does this look like the room
517
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:37,729
of a hardened criminal?
518
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,360
I give you, uh...
519
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,360
I give you exhibit A.
520
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:48,322
Look at this,
521
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:48,322
a Scooby Doo nightshirt.
522
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,909
Give me that.
523
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,869
I didn't buy it.
524
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,869
It came with the bubble bath.
525
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,748
You see, would a guy
526
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,748
steal a car, come home
527
00:15:56,790 --> 00:16:00,000
take a nice bubble bath and put
528
00:15:56,790 --> 00:16:00,000
on a Scooby Doo nightshirt?
529
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,294
I think not.
530
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,962
Jess, please,
531
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,962
cut me a break here.
532
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,798
What's the point of this?
533
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,509
Officer, the point is that-that
534
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,509
Joey is just a sweet, innocent
535
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:12,138
goofy guy who's, uh,
536
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:12,138
who's just a child at heart.
537
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,098
Yeah, he starts off every day
538
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,225
with The Three Stooges
539
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,225
chewable vitamin.
540
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,644
It's true.
541
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,938
Here they are. See?
542
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:24,358
Woo-woo-woo
543
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:24,358
woo-woo-woo...woo.
544
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,319
Woo.
545
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,405
Joey even has Teenage Mutant
546
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,405
Ninja Turtle slippers.
547
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,909
Oh, not the slippers.
548
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,244
This is Michael Angelo
549
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,248
and I don't know who this is.
550
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,250
Because Comet bit his head off.
551
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:49,216
You see, officer,
552
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:49,216
Joey is a fair and trusting man.
553
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,177
I mean, like a big kid.
554
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,053
I mean, he would
555
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,053
never rip anybody off
556
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:56,307
so he would never expect
557
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:56,307
anyone to rip him off.
558
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,809
Well, I had my doubts
559
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,353
but the Ninja Turtle
560
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,353
slippers put me over the top.
561
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,188
Mr. Gladstone,
562
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,188
I won't be taking you in.
563
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,482
- Oh!
564
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,482
- Thank you, officer.
565
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,819
Thank you, officer.
566
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,819
I...okay, fine.
567
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,111
But don't leave town.
568
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,780
We still need to
569
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,780
ask you a few questions.
570
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:11,948
And Miss Tanner,
571
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:11,948
I'm afraid we'll be
572
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,241
impounding your vehicle.
573
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,576
That's okay.
574
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,871
As long as you're
575
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,871
not impounding Joey.
576
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,582
I'll let myself out.
577
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,460
- Joey!
578
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,460
- 'Joey!'
579
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,129
Lucky break.
580
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,506
Who would've known
581
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,506
all your goofy stuff
582
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,299
would've saved
583
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,299
your butt, huh, Joey?
584
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,718
You know, next time
585
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,718
he gets in trouble
586
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,052
he should take
587
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,052
a driver's license picture
588
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,721
you know,
589
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,721
wearing a Scooby Doo shirt
590
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,514
and sitting in bubble bath,
591
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,514
wearing those slippers.
592
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,558
[all chuckling]
593
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:43,062
Yeah, well, I'm glad
594
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:43,062
you guys are happy.
595
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,522
You mean, you're not?
596
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,940
Oh, no. I feel great.
597
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,608
D.J.'s present
598
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,608
is being towed away
599
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:51,029
and...I'm the big family joke.
600
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,072
All this time I thought you
601
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,072
guys were laughing with me
602
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:55,909
and you were actually
603
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:55,909
laughing at me.
604
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,827
Thanks. Appreciate it.
605
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,247
[instrumental music]
606
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,167
(Jesse)
607
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,167
'Joey!'
608
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,796
'Joey, where you going?'
609
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,382
I don't know.
610
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,382
I need to go for a walk.
611
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,343
Maybe I'll go down
612
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,343
and get a Goofy Joey slurpee
613
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,679
and, uh, maybe
614
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,679
look for an apartment.
615
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,681
Okay, but you heard the officer.
616
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,266
"Don't leave town."
617
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,143
Look, Joey, I know
618
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,143
that you're upset
619
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:26,313
but really, I mean, you're
620
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:26,313
taking this the wrong way.
621
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,315
We-we need to talk.
622
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,692
Yeah, well, I've heard enough.
623
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,652
Whoa. No, she's right.
624
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:32,737
Let's talk.
625
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,988
Come with us, friend.
626
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,990
Come on, you guys.
627
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,990
This is ridiculous.
628
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,617
- No, it's not.
629
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,617
- Alright.
630
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:43,748
Alright, fine.
631
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:43,748
What do you want to talk about?
632
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,292
You, and what you
633
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,292
mean to this family.
634
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,711
Joey, we love having you here.
635
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,546
It's so great
636
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,546
growing up in a house
637
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,299
where there's someone
638
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,299
that can always make you laugh.
639
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,260
(D.J.)
640
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,260
I remember that
641
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,260
one time in the garage..
642
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,620
[chuckles]
643
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,663
[all chuckling]
644
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,999
Okay, okay, okay, fine.
645
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,959
So I'm good for a few laughs.
646
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,959
Big deal.
647
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,086
You're good for
648
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,086
a lot more than that.
649
00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:31,129
Joey, you've pulled this family
650
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,630
through a lot of rough times.
651
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,549
Yeah, like remember when
652
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,549
I was afraid of the dentist?
653
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,217
You were there to make it okay.
654
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,553
Look. We're in luck.
655
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,056
A courage detector.
656
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,809
Last time I was here
657
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,809
it was a spit sucker.
658
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,855
Well, it does that, too.
659
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,190
Let's find out
660
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,190
where your courage is.
661
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:54,027
Beep beep beep
662
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,402
beep beep beep
663
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,655
beep beep beepbeepbeepbeep
664
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,655
beepbeepbeepbeep.
665
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,573
[imitates alarm]
666
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,242
I found it! This is great!
667
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,286
Your courage is
668
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,286
inside your mouth.
669
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,456
- Really?
670
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,456
- Yeah. Here, take a look.
671
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,083
See?
672
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,459
See in the back
673
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,459
of your throat there
674
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,337
that little hangy-ball thing?
675
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:14,922
Hey, yeah. What is that?
676
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,133
That's your courage hangy-ball.
677
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,510
I thought that
678
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,510
was there for decoration.
679
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:26,142
You see, Joey? If it wasn't for
680
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:26,142
you, I wouldn't have any teeth.
681
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:31,772
And I'd be still
682
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:31,772
riding a tricycle.
683
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:34,942
You see, Joey? You taught
684
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:34,942
her how to ride a two-wheeler.
685
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,986
I let her fall into the bushes.
686
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:40,406
But you made me get back
687
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:40,406
on again, you remember?
688
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,742
(Michelle)
689
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,742
You're not gonna
690
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,742
let me go, right?
691
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:45,995
No way. Not until you say so.
692
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:47,121
Okay, let's do it!
693
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:51,042
Alright, you're
694
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:51,042
doing it, Michelle.
695
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,085
Let go!
696
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,627
Are you sure?
697
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:54,670
Let go!
698
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,630
Are you really, really sure?
699
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,508
I said, let go!
700
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,012
'Way to go!'
701
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:05,639
(Michelle)
702
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:05,639
I'm not in the bush!
703
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,725
Michelle, I am
704
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,725
so proud of you.
705
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,227
You did it all by yourself.
706
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,312
Uh-uh, Joey. I did it with you.
707
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,275
(Becky)
708
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,275
'You see, Joey?'
709
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,360
We don't know
710
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,360
what we'd do without you.
711
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,779
(Jesse)
712
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,779
'That's right.'
713
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,114
So there's no way
714
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,114
you're leaving this house.
715
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,740
Because you were
716
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,740
there for the girls
717
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,909
and I want you to be
718
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,909
there for my kids.
719
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,786
Joey, there's a whole
720
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,786
new generation of kids
721
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,122
who haven't seen
722
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,122
your spit fountain
723
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,581
or...or learned to ride a bike
724
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,584
or...or found their
725
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,584
courage hangy-ball.
726
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,295
Are you still mad at us, Joey?
727
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,883
I guess I never really was mad.
728
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:44,845
I just felt so darn bad
729
00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,722
about what happened
730
00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,722
today, you know?
731
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,350
Until I met you guys
732
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:53,562
I didn't know what it was like
733
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:53,562
to be a part of a family.
734
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,148
(Joey)
735
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,148
'I mean, after
736
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,148
my parents got divorced'
737
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,440
it was just me and my mom
738
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:59,693
and it got pretty
739
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:59,693
lonely sometimes.
740
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,070
I used to watch
741
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,070
"The Brady Bunch"
742
00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:02,863
and wish I was a part
743
00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:02,863
of their family.
744
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:06,617
So, it would've been Jan
745
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:06,617
and Marcia and Cindy and Greg
746
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,287
and Bobby and Peter and Joey.
747
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:14,708
Anyhow, after I
748
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:14,708
moved in with you guys..
749
00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,045
...I got to be a part
750
00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,045
of that big family
751
00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,214
I always dreamed about.
752
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,677
Does that mean
753
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,677
you're gonna stay?
754
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,641
Of course it means
755
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,641
I'm gonna stay.
756
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,696
I love you guys.
757
00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:46,532
- We love you, too.
758
00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:46,532
- We love you, too.
759
00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:48,534
Uh, there's just
760
00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:48,534
one other thing though.
761
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:50,703
(Jesse)
762
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:50,703
'Hmm?'
763
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:52,579
Could we get a maid named Alice?
764
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,791
As to which I say..
765
00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:57,417
...let us get him.
766
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,930
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
767
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,558
[theme music]
768
00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:32,452
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
769
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:34,747
♪ Chity chi bob botta ♪♪