[theme music]
Michelle, do you
have any queens?
Go Fish.
I can see you do.
You're supposed to keep your
cards close to your body.
You're supposed to keep
your eyes close to your head.
Michelle, you have
to tell the truth.
This is a game of trust,
honor and integrity.
Boy, you guys sure know how
to suck the fun out of Go Fish.
[theme music]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
♪ Aaah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milk man
the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
See you later,
Steve's taking Kimmy and me
to look at prom dresses.
Have fun, sweetheart.
Uh, dad,
I need a credit card.
Go Fish.
Come on, dad.
Can't leave home without it.
So, Kimmy, found a senior
to take you to the prom?
What are you paying him?
No, I fixed her up with
a guy from my metal shop
Gorilla Bernstein.
Yeah, he's really sweet.
He made us matching
belt buckles out of magnets.
I can't wait to slow dance.
- There you go.
- Thanks, dad.
- You got it.
- Bye.
Oh, hey, Jesse.
You know, it's really
nice of you and your band
to play at the prom.
Oh, no sweat, Kimball.
Oh, and one more thing,
Mr. Moldy Oldies.
I made a list of
the songs that people
who are still
young like to hear.
Alright. Thanks, Kim.
I'll give this list all the
consideration it deserves.
Thank you.
Joey, let's go.
We gotta radio show to do.
Tear yourself away from Go Fish.
It's time to go work.
You're absolutely right,
I'm get a little darn
too old for this game.
Michelle, tonight...Candyland.
Your room. Be there.
You're on!
Okay.
Vicky, do you have any 3's?
Yes, I do.
Ahh, now see that,
Michelle?
Vicky knows the truth
is very important.
Isn't that right, Vicky?
Danny, since this
truth thing has come up
there is something
that's been bothering me.
Uh, remember when
we first met on the set
of "Wake Up, San Francisco"
and I told you
that I was a year
younger than you?
Well...the truth is..
...I was off by two years.
[scoffs]
You're three years
younger than me?
I'm robbing the cradle.
I love that.
Not exactly, umm..
I'm actually one
year older than you.
Older?
You love that too, dad?
Well, what do you think?
Huh? Oh. Nice.
You've said that about
every dress I've tried on.
Phew! Well, Deej,
what am I suppose to say?
How about stunning, alluring?
Oh, I can't say
those things here.
What if somebody hears me?
Hey, Deej, come here.
Okay, I've got good
news and bad news.
Well, actually,
I only have bad news
but I didn't want to
bum you out too much.
Steve's ex-girlfriend
is in there.
Rachel Taylor?
Are you sure it's her?
Stevie.
Rachel.
It's her.
You know, I need your
opinion on something.
What do you think
of this dress?
Oh, well, it's-it's-it's
stunning, really.
It's-it's alluring.
It's, um, uh..
The same dress I'm wearing.
(Steve)
'Oh, right.'
It's nice.
Um, Rachel,
this is Kimmy Gibbler
and DJ Tanner, my, um..
Girlfriend.
[chuckles]
The old girlfriend.
The new girlfriend.
Smell the tension.
Stevie, listen, um,
a bunch of us
rented a room at the hotel, you
know, we're having the prom..
...and, uh, we're
gonna party all night.
- You guys wanna come?
- Yeah, sure.
Yeah, that sounds
like something that we, uh..
...um, would not be
interested in. Sorry.
That's too bad
'cause it's gonna be wild.
Well, I got to run.
You know, I really
do love this dress.
[sighs]
So..
...you gonna get that dress too?
Yeah, right.
Why is D.J. putting
perfume on her ears?
Must I explain everything?
So she won't smell
like ear sweat.
Boy, it seems like
my prom was just yesterday.
Can you believe I'm old
enough to be a chaperone?
Sure.
No way! You're a chaperone?
She said, she's a chaperone.
'I don't think..'
You know, Aunt Becky,
Steve and I were invited
to this after-prom party
in a hotel room.
Really? What'd your dad say
after he stopped screaming?
Oh, I didn't ask him.
I don't really wanna go.
It's not my kind of thing.
Well, that's good, Deej.
You should never do anything
you're not comfortable with.
Well, the thing is,
I think Steve wants to go.
His old girlfriend
Rachel invited us.
She's beautiful.
D.J., you are beautiful too.
And I don't think you have
anything to worry about.
Steve loves you.
He's nuts about you.
Why else would he
be here all the time?
To eat.
Oh, man! I can't believe
that D.J. is going to her prom.
I am getting old so fast.
Maybe you'll catch up
with Vicky.
Sweetheart, it just so happens,
I have totally forgotten
that Vicky is a year
older than me.
In fact than actuality,
she is...only seven months
three weeks and
two days older than me.
See, you're catching up already.
Alright. Let's get
this prom on the road.
Wow! You guys look great.
[doorbell rings]
I got it.
- Hello.
- Hey!
Well, everybody,
what do you think?
Very nice.
Steve, I've never seen
you like this before.
Yeah, there's no
food in your mouth.
No, but I got some
milk duds in my cummerbund.
(D.J.)
'Ready!'
Excuse me.
- 'Wow!'
- 'You look beautiful.'
Wow, you look just
like Sleeping Beauty.
Except you're awake.
[chuckles]
Thank you.
Wow, D.J., you look beautiful.
Thank you.
'Honey..'
...I can't believe
how grown up you are.
Seems like only
yesterday you were walking
off to kindergarten.
Actually, you didn't walk.
I carried you piggy-back.
Now, you're going to a prom.
Ah, what the heck. Hop on!
- Dad.
- Sorry.
Have a wonderful time, sweetie.
Thanks.
- Bye.
- Dad.
- Sorry, I'm sorry.
[instrumental music]
♪ I ♪
♪ I love the colorful
clothes she wear ♪
♪ And the way the sunlight ♪
♪ Plays upon her ♪
♪ Hair ♪
♪ Ooh I'm pickin' up ♪
♪ Good vibrations ♪
♪ She's givin' me
the excitation ♪
♪ Ooh I'm pickin' up ♪
♪ The good vibrations ♪
♪ She's givin' me
the excitation ♪♪
[all cheering]
Thank you. Thank you!
Thank you, prom animals.
Steve, this tropical night's
theme is so romantic.
Yeah, I guess it was
better then my idea.
Snacks of many nations!
Hi, Stevie.
- Hi!
- You know Paul.
- Yeah, sure.
- How's you going, man?
How you doing?
So, uh, you, uh, want to
go get a dress, a drink?
A one, two, three!
♪ Talking 'bout my little baby ♪
♪ A little Latin loop dee doo ♪
Hey!
♪ She's a high-class baby ♪
♪ Ain't no dance
she couldn't...♪
Hey, how are you
and Gorilla getting along?
Fantastic.
He knows just what I like.
Pu-pu for two,
my little lovestick?
Those are, uh, some pretty wild
nails you got there, Kimmy.
Yeah, I just have
to wait till they dry.
- You have the polish?
- No, the glue.
Hi, guys.
You mind if I join you?
I feel so old there
on chaperon row.
You know, it's really uncool
to be seen with chaperons.
Yeah. Tell me about it.
I repeat, it's really uncool
to be seen with chaperons.
Oh, I get it.
Aunt Becky, you can hang
out with us if you want too.
No, no, no, that's okay.
I'll just go over here.
And straighten out
my support hose.
Hi, aren't you the
cheerleader who always
at the top of the pyramid?
Oh, no, actually, I..
I-I'm usually
somewhere in the middle.
Cool.
Yes!
[all cheering]
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you!
Alright, now, the moment
we've all been waiting for
to find out
who rules the school.
This year's prom king
is, drum roll, please.
[drum roll]
Mr. Steven Hale!
Steve, I'm so proud of you!
Alright, Steve, wherever
you are drop that burrito
and get up to here.
Oh, there you are.
Steve, my man!
Stevie. Steverino.
Okay!
And what good would
a king be without a queen?
This year's prom queen
is, drum roll, please!
[drum roll]
R-R-Rachel Taylor!
Wow, look at that!
Rachel and Steve
back together again!
[grunts]
Alright, now, it's
time for the crowning
of the king and queen.
By the way, the crowns were
provided by "Carl's Crown Shop."
"Hey, go see Carl for
all your crowning needs."
Okay, go nuts, kids.
[all applauding]
Well, I guess, bringing Rachel
wasn't a complete washout.
- I got to danced with her once.
- Hm-mm.
She did let me
hang up her coat.
They'll be right back, Paul.
It's just a ceremony.
Oh, I don't know, ever
since Rachel ran into Steve
the other day, she hasn't
stopped talking about him.
I don't know, why'd she
ever broke up with him
in the first place?
I thought he
broke up with her.
Nope. She dumped him.
The poor guy couldn't
eat for a week.
A week?
I've never him
seen go five minutes
without at least a tic-tac.
[all applauding]
First rule
of table manners.
Never put more on a spoon
than you can fit in your mouth.
Ice cream.
(Stephanie)
'Yeah, ice cream.'
'Is that yummy?'
Have fun now boys.
You can't do that stuff
when you're old like me.
Danny, you're awfully
quiet tonight.
Is there something
on your mind?
My mind? No way.
Uh, girls, let's
take your cousins
upstairs and clean them up.
I'll get the garden hose
you get the squeegee.
Okay, come on, let's go.
And, uh, Danny..
...this might be
a real good opportunity
to talk about anything
you might be obsessing over.
So, uh, Vicky,
would you like some coffee?
I have Old Vienna.
Actually, that's just a name.
It's not that really old.
You know, it's not
like it's a year old
or...even seven months.
Instant! I have instant.
Would you like instant?
Let me take
a wild shot here.
I think you're upset
at my being older than you.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, I am.
Vicky, why did you lie to me?
Danny, I'm sorry.
It's only seven months.
When I started
in the news business
my agent suggested
that I drop a few years.
It's not like I lied
about my prison record.
Oh, my God!
Danny, lighten up!
That was a joke.
Oh.
I'm sorry, Vicky.
It's gonna take some
getting used to for me, okay?
When I was growing up,
I was taught that the man
should be older...and-and
taller...and-and stronger.
Yeah, uh, Danny,
what kind of an atti..
Sorry.
At least I'm still taller.
Danny..
Danny, nothing
has changed between us.
I've always been
seven months older than you.
Just...now you know it.
Yeah, you're right.
I've been acting ridiculous.
We love each other, and
that's-that's all that matters.
Look on the bright side.
If I am a little older
and a little
more experienced
that could turn out to be
a good thing, don't you think?
Yes, ma'am.
I always respect my elders.
[all applauding]
Okay, alright,
hold it now, alright.
Now, the final member
of the court
the man you've selected
court jester
none other than
Ed "Fun boy" Henderson!
Let's hear it
for that wacky Ed.
That crazy..
Let me guess, Fun Boy,
you came alone tonight, huh?
Alright, Kenny. Thank you.
Okay, now it's time
for the traditional
king and queen dance.
[instrumental music]
Could she hold
him any tighter?
If she does, we'll have to
butter his tux to get him loose.
Jess, do something.
- About what?
- I'll handle it.
Okay, everybody,
we're starting a new tradition.
It's called "Dance with
the person you came with."
So, why do they
call you Gorilla?
It's like, I can eat
a banana with my feet.
At last, a real man.
Paul, aren't you going
to ask Rachel to dance?
Well, why bother?
She'd rather be with Steve.
Well, Steve
already has a date.
Look, Rachel,
I'm gonna go find D.J., okay?
No, wait a minute.
Do you still wanna go?
Yes.
Look, Rachel,
when you broke up with me
I'll admit, I used to
hope that you'd come back to me
and-and that
you kiss me like that
and everything
would be like it was.
Yeah, but it can be.
No. No, it can't.
Because...now
I'm in love with D.J.
And...she means
everything to me.
Look, I'm sorry. I gotta go.
He said he loved me.
What a lie!
I hate him. I hate guys.
She sure got over that fast.
D.J., what do you think
you're doing?
If you can kiss
someone else, so can I.
I did not kiss Rachel.
She kissed me.
Yeah, right!
It takes two people to kiss.
That's four lips
and two of them were yours!
Hey, let's go upstairs
and get that party started.
You know what, that
sounds like a lot of fun.
- Why don't we go, Paul?
- Sure, why not?
Wow! Okay, alright, fine!
- Rachel?
- Steve.
(Jesse)
'Thank you.'
Thanks very much.
Okay, this next song is one
of my all-time favorite songs.
I hope that you guys like it.
It's called..
It's called, "The band takes
a break while you guys
dance to prerecorded music."
Am I missing something?
Come on, honey,
we've got to stop D.J.
I hope this party's wild.
The wilder, the better.
[elevator dings]
Alright, hold it.
And nobody's going anywhere
till I get some answers.
Now, my first question is.
Becky, why am I holding
the elevator?
Uncle Jesse, I'm just
going to a party with Paul.
Oh, see, Becky?
She's just going
to a party with Paul..
[elevator dings]
Who's Paul?
Would this be
the party upstairs?
Upstairs?
In a hotel room?
Alright, you, you, you, you.
Out, out, out, out.
Let go. Let go of her.
Let go.
Uncle Jesse, how could you
embarrass me like that?
I'll ask the questions
around here, okay?
My first question is,
who the heck is Paul?
Oh, Paul, that would
be Rachel's date
until Rachel, who used to be
Steve's girl, kissed Steve.
Now, looks like, Paul's the guy
D.J. wants to go upstairs with.
Boy, you know, you miss so
much on the bandstand up there
with the lights in
your eyes and the music--
Great, great,
well, now that everybody's
up to speed,
I have a party to go to.
Now, hold on.
One second, D.J.
Now, come on, there you
know how these parties are.
I mean, it's the end
of the year, everybody's crazy.
And...I don't want you to do
something you'll be sorry about.
Yeah, honey, don't let
your emotions get in way
of you're good judgment just
because you're mad at Steve.
Okay, fine.
I just thought
tonight's was gonna be
the greatest night of my life.
But I just want
to go home now.
Stevie, come on.
We're missing all the fun.
I can't.
Look...Rachel,
I'm really sorry.
Everything's all messed up.
I gotta talk to D.J.
Paul?
Um, Deej.
Well, I guess
we'll leave you two alone.
- Won't we just?
- Yeah.
You guys so much better when
you're clued in to everything.
Now, who's Paul?
Um, Deej, I'm not
going to that party.
Neither am I.
So what?
So, I-I want
to talk to you.
About what?
About how I trusted you?
About how I loved you?
About how I felt when
I saw you kissing Rachel?
I know exactly how you felt.
Like someone punched
you in the stomach.
And knocked all
the wind out of you.
I felt the same way
when I saw you kissed Paul.
Good. That was the idea.
Look, D.J., I told you
I didn't wanna kiss Rachel.
- But you did kiss her!
- But I didn't feel anything!
It was like kissing my aunt.
Okay, fine, it was a little
better than kissing my aunt.
But it wasn't anything
like kissing you.
Come on, Steve.
She was your first love.
Oh, no. I thought she was
my first love, but I was wrong.
I didn't even know
what love was until I met you.
Really?
Really.
I love you.
I love you too.
Alright, this next
song is dedicated
to a very special couple.
You know who you are.
♪ And I ♪
♪ Will always love you ♪
Hey, what happened
to your nails?
Gee, I don't know.
♪ Always love you ♪
♪ I'll always love ♪
♪ You ♪♪
♪ And I ♪
♪ Will always ♪
♪ Love you ♪
♪ I'll always ♪
♪ Love you ♪
♪ I'll always love ♪
♪ You ♪♪
[instrumental music]