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[theme music]
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Stephanie, come here.
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You've got to see this.
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This is going to be great.
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Michelle, don't tell me
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you're still trying
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to make that sock talk.
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Well, he can't walk.
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Come on, I've been practicing.
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I'm really good now.
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Watch. Ahem.
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Uh, hi. My name's Mr. Pigsly.
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What's yours?
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How..
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- How..
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- Oh, nice to meet you, How-how.
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Michelle, it's amazing how you
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threw your voice like that.
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In fact..
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...it sounds like you threw it
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from this closet.
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Oh! Don't go near
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that closet door!
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[high-pitched voice]
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oh, no, no, no!
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[deep voice]
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Oh, no. No, no!
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Yup, yeah, well,
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the inspection's over.
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There's no moths, no termites.
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I'll, uh, I'll see you ladies
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in about six months or so.
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Okay, well, that takes care
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of that there.
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So, that's how I did it.
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[theme music]
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♪ Ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Ah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman
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the paper boy ♪
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♪ Evening TV ♪
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♪ Ah ah ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody
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who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're
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lost out there ♪
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♪ And you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waitin'
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Doobie doo
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bah bah dah ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Alright, squirts.
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Go get mommy!
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Go get her!
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Get her.
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Aah!
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Aim for daddy!
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Aim for the hair!
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Hey, no! This is supposed
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to be fun! Not the hair.
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- Back off!
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- Go on! Get him!
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- Get the hair.
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- Heel!
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- Go get him.
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- Don't let him get away!
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(Jesse)
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'Watch the hair!'
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So Joey, since, since Vicky's
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in town, I thought it'd be fun
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for the whole family
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to go out to dinner tonight.
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Oh, that's great. I know this
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really nice Chinese place.
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No, no, no. Michelle
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doesn't like Chinese food.
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Oh, come on, Danny.
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Since when?
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Since when? Since we walked past
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that restaurant in Chinatown.
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And she saw those ducks
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hanging in the window.
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Okay, so let's see. We uh, we
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need a place for uh, 10 people..
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Look out!
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Get mommy!
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[indistinct chattering]
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Get daddy!
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Go on! Get him!
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Aah!
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Get uncle Joey!
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Whoa!
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[squealing]
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Yeah, yeah, we need a place
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for 10 people.
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Place that doesn't mind
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a little noise
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a little water.
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A little chaos.
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How about the galley
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of a Viking ship?
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How about your kitchen
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and I'll cook?
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The girls are pretty particular
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about what they eat.
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Well Danny, if we're gonna
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be married, I have to get
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used to cooking for the family.
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And I promise,
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no hanging ducks.
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Uncle Danny.
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Whoa! Whoa! Thank you.
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Thank you very much. Thanks.
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My face was feeling
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a little parched.
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Thank you. And Becky.
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Oh, okay, alright, alright.
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Enough. Time to settle down.
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Alright, you heard mommy.
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Let's settle down now.
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There you go, buddy.
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[squirting]
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Hey, you heard mommy.
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She said settle down.
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Alright, maybe you'll
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understand this language.
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Eat water, buddy!
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You eat water, buddy!
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You eat water! Look out.
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Get 'em!
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Get daddy! Get Nicky!
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They're totally
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out of control.
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Yeah. Two little devils.
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Identical Tazmanians.
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[Tazmanian Devil grunting]
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Squirt, squirt, squirt, daddy.
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Oh, come on.
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They're not that bad.
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Of course, I'm dry
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and I don't live here.
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Vicky, I love Nicky and Alex
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but they don't listen.
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They're into everything
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and they won't even sleep
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in their own beds.
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I mean, I know
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they're just toddlers
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but they could at least be
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taught to put away their toys.
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Danny.
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It's mine.
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Yeah, the big guy
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sat on my nose. Ha ha!
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[honking]
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[instrumental music]
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[chopping]
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Uh, I could watch you
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mince for hours.
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You have been.
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Okay, a little to the left.
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A little to the right.
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Easy.
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'Easy.'
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Michelle, next time
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you make a diorama
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put a window in it.
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Michelle, what a great model
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of the solar system.
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Thank you.
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We live right here
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on the third ping-pong ball
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from the grapefruit.
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Michelle, that is
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the most beautiful thing
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you have ever made.
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As soon as I find
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a magnet big enough
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that's going right up
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on the refrigerator.
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You can't daddy. This is for
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the science fair next week.
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I sure hope the sun
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doesn't rot.
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Okay Steph, let's go.
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You couldn't grow
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a nice little lima bean
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like everyone else.
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[gasps]
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- Hi.
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- Hi.
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- Hey.
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- Hey, what's cooking?
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I'm making
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pizza and spaghetti for dinner.
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- Alright.
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- Are you guys hungry?
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You're new around here,
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aren't you?
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You know Vicky, I got to admit,
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I was a little concerned
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about this whole dinner thing.
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But I'm a little relieved you're
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making pizza and spaghetti.
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I mean they're proven
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kid pleasers.
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Don't you worry.
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They are going to love it.
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Spaghetti al pesto
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and goat cheese pizza.
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Oh, yeah. Kids just love
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a steaming hunk of goat cheese.
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- Daddy.
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- Daddy.
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- Daddy.
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- Daddy.
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(Alex and Nicky)
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'Daddy.'
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(Alex and Nicky)
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'Daddy.'
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[dog barking]
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Shh!
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You gotta be quiet.
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I'm playing hide and go seek.
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Come on, get out of here.
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Hey, Comet.
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They're putting a new fire
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hydrant in down the street.
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Go. Go.
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Come on. Get out.
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- Get--
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- I find you!
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Oh, you guys found me!
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You found me!
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Thanks, Comet.
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That's the last time
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I loan you my cream rinse.
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[Comet barking]
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Alright. Alright, guys.
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This time, let's switch here.
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This time, you guys hide
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and I'll seek you, okay?
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Ready? I'm gonna count.
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You guys go hide
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and I'm gonna count. Okay?
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One.
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Two.
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Three.
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Four.
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Five. Six.
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Se--
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[laughing]
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You guys, no, let's go
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over the concept one more time.
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You guys hide and I find you.
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Now, go. I'll count. Go hide.
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Go hide.
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Go hide.
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Alright. One. Two..
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[instrumental music]
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[ripping]
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[gasps]
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Stop it! Stop it.
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Daddy!
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My planets!
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Oh, no! Why'd you guys
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have to do this?
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I worked so hard on this.
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Hey, hey, hey! What's going on?
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What's all the mayhem?
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Alex, Nicky,
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what did you guys do?
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- What happened?
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- What's going on, honey?
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Daddy, Nicky and Alex
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wrecked my solar system.
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Look, it's leaking sun juice.
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Oh, sweetheart,
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that's terrible.
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But I-I'm sure it was
295
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,333
just an accident.
296
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,335
Michelle, we are so sorry.
297
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,753
Michelle, Nicky and Alex
298
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,753
probably don't even realize
299
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:24,921
they did anything wrong.
300
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,214
But I told them to stop.
301
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,882
Why didn't they listen?
302
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:32,095
Well, Michelle, children have
303
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:32,095
to be taught to listen.
304
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,722
Who's supposed to teach them?
305
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,099
'Well, uh..'
306
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:39,394
...in-in many cases, uh,
307
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:39,394
it's the people.
308
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,313
The people who are
309
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,313
responsible for their
310
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,897
you know, their
311
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,897
growth and well-being.
312
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,524
Who's that?
313
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,109
Well, in-in most cultures
314
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,279
that-that would
315
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,279
usually be, uh..
316
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:50,697
...the parents.
317
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,534
Way to go.
318
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,661
[instrumental music]
319
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,291
[instrumental music]
320
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:05,837
Well, I'm sure Nicky and Alex
321
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:05,837
feel very bad.
322
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,506
Alright boys, now you tell..
323
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,632
You tell your cousin
324
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,632
that you're sorry.
325
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,970
I sorry, Michelle.
326
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,682
Are you really sorry?
327
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,852
- No!
328
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,852
- No! No!
329
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,522
Alright, I'll take the boys
330
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,522
before they incriminate
331
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,940
themselves any further.
332
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,940
Alright you two, come on.
333
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,775
Let's go! Get in the squad car.
334
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,653
You have the right to one phone
335
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,653
call and one clean diaper.
336
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,780
Let's go over here.
337
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,951
Michelle, we feel terrible.
338
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,661
I promise you,
339
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,661
we'll make this up to you.
340
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,038
Yeah, we're sorry, honey.
341
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,038
You know what?
342
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,498
I'll-I'll help you
343
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,498
rebuild this, okay?
344
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,832
I remodeled the whole attic.
345
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,126
Certainly, I can rebuild
346
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,126
the solar system.
347
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:48,880
There's uh, there's no plumbing
348
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:48,880
over there in space, is there?
349
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,300
Okay, you're not laughing.
350
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:57,305
Michelle, when a person
351
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:57,305
is honestly sorry
352
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,099
a big person will forgive them.
353
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,226
But I'm a little person.
354
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,311
Yeah, well,
355
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,311
I'm talking about inside.
356
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,980
Inside, I'm even littler.
357
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,234
Sweetheart, by big..
358
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,487
...I mean a person
359
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,487
who's generous and forgiving.
360
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,906
Isn't that the kind of person
361
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,906
you wanna grow up to be?
362
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,326
Okay.
363
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,161
I forgive you.
364
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,205
- Thank you, sweetheart.
365
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,205
- Alright, Michelle.
366
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,957
That's my big girl.
367
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,293
Come here, now.
368
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,293
Do me a favor, would you?
369
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:29,963
Run downstairs and put
370
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:29,963
the sun in the juicer, okay?
371
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,507
I'll be down in just
372
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,507
a minute to join you.
373
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,927
Guys, I..
374
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,721
I know how you feel about
375
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,721
getting unsolicited advice.
376
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,224
That's not gonna stop you
377
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,224
from offering some, right?
378
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,560
No, no, because
379
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,560
this is important.
380
00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:47,188
I mean, I love Nicky and Alex
381
00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:47,188
but they're way out of control.
382
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,524
Oh, come on, they're not
383
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,524
out of control. They-they're..
384
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,734
Alright, I admit
385
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,734
they're a little uh..
386
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:52,860
what's the word I'm looking for?
387
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:53,945
- Feisty?
388
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:53,945
- Feisty is a good one.
389
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:54,988
They're a little feisty.
390
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,490
I'll even give you, um..
391
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,991
- Rambunctious.
392
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,991
- Rambunctious. Right.
393
00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,242
But there's no way that my kids
394
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,368
are out of control. I mean--
395
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,120
(Joey)
396
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,120
' Nicky, Alex, my watch!'
397
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,205
[toilet flushes]
398
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,502
- Jess, they're out of control.
399
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,502
- Well, al-alright.
400
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,170
Maybe they're a wee
401
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,170
out of control
402
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,796
but they're not,
403
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,796
they're not way out.
404
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,257
All I'm saying is
405
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,257
kids need limits.
406
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,009
Well, we set limits.
407
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,009
I mean uh..
408
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,552
The other day, when they
409
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,552
got in your make-up?
410
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:18,886
What did we do?
411
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,221
Actually, we took a picture.
412
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,889
Oh yes, it was so cute.
413
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,889
You should see.
414
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,391
They all had lipstick
415
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,391
all over their faces.
416
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,934
- We made doubles. I got--
417
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,934
- For you.
418
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,853
But after that
419
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,853
we-we-we got firm.
420
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,439
And we sat them down
421
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,439
and we gave them a good firm..
422
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:31,525
...scrubbing. 'Cause they had
423
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:31,525
lipstick all over their lips.
424
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,692
And then I got another
425
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,692
picture and..
426
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,946
Uh..
427
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,240
Honey, I'm afraid Danny's right.
428
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,408
I mean, we can't wait
429
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,408
until the boys
430
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,784
are knocking off liquor stores.
431
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,370
I mean, we gotta tighten
432
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,370
things up around here.
433
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,246
Alright, yeah. Right, right.
434
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,246
Tight. I got it.
435
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,165
- I hear you guys.
436
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,165
- Are you sure?
437
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,376
Because you're always Mr. Softie
438
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,376
when it comes to the boys.
439
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,960
And-and we both have to
440
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,960
make a commitment here.
441
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,337
No, I'm making a commitment.
442
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,337
You guys are right.
443
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,297
No more Mr. Softie, okay?
444
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:58,134
In fact, I'm gonna start laying
445
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:58,134
down the law, right about now.
446
00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,511
What are you gonna do?
447
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,471
First off, I'm gonna go..
448
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,265
...fish Joey's watch
449
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,265
out of the toilet.
450
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,727
[instrumental music]
451
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,648
I'm glad you're all here.
452
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,274
What's the big secret, dad?
453
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:14,901
If you called us
454
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:14,901
down here to tell us
455
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,361
that sweater's out of style
456
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,405
we've known for three years.
457
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:22,409
It has nothing to do
458
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:22,409
with this sweater.
459
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,412
Now, you all know that Vicky
460
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,412
has been working very hard
461
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,954
on this dinner tonight.
462
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,457
So, if any of you happen
463
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,457
to see anything
464
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:33,044
that's you know,
465
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:33,044
new and unusual on your plates
466
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,254
taste it.
467
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,880
Experience it.
468
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,466
And then if you still don't
469
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,466
like it, choke it down.
470
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,928
Boy dad, you got
471
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,928
our mouths watering.
472
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,430
This could be really nasty.
473
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,265
I hope there's enough.
474
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:50,019
Dad, about that new
475
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:50,019
and unusual food.
476
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,063
I don't have a problem
477
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,063
with the new
478
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,233
but I have some concerns
479
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,233
about the unusual.
480
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,652
Does unusual mean gross?
481
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,905
Okay.
482
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,158
You know, how you two
483
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,158
have been asking for advances
484
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,536
in your allowances?
485
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:09,581
Well, how does $2 sound?
486
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,708
Not as good as 5.
487
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,629
Okay, 5 it is.
488
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,964
But you're gonna pay me
489
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,964
back when you're 30.
490
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,049
I can't believe I just did this.
491
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,843
Okay, everyone.
492
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,843
I hope you like it.
493
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,763
Steph, can I give you
494
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,763
a piece of pizza?
495
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:26,847
Uh, sure.
496
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,225
Um, what's that
497
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,225
crumbly white stuff?
498
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,686
Oh, that's goat cheese.
499
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:34,105
What part of the goat
500
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:34,105
is the cheese?
501
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,695
Is it supposed
502
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,695
to smell like that?
503
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,324
Not that that's a bad smell.
504
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:47,744
Oh! Don't worry, the cheese
505
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:47,744
is just a little ripe.
506
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:51,956
The spaghetti's not.
507
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:51,956
It's still green.
508
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,251
No, honey, that's pesto sauce.
509
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,251
It's supposed to be green.
510
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:58,963
Yeah, yeah. You know green,
511
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:58,963
like a $5 bill?
512
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,632
Looks great.
513
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,134
Green's my favorite color.
514
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,178
Good.
515
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,555
Well, Nicky and Alex
516
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,555
are certainly enjoying it.
517
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,641
Some of it's actually
518
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,641
getting into their mouths.
519
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,768
[Jess laughs]
520
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,194
Alex, put down that bowl!
521
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,240
I'll take care of this.
522
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,742
Time to lay down the law.
523
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,869
Son, put down the bowl.
524
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,789
[humming]
525
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,666
Alright, you guys are
526
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,666
ganging up on me now.
527
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,916
No, I'm not kidding this time.
528
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,712
Both of you guys
529
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,712
put down the bowls.
530
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,381
[clanking]
531
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,094
Well, they put them down.
532
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,265
I may be going out
533
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,265
on a limb here, Jess.
534
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,226
But I think they're
535
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,226
testing you.
536
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,186
Danny's right. You gotta
537
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,186
be tough. Don't waffle.
538
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,188
That's right, okay.
539
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,188
Alright listen guys.
540
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,690
Now, you guys are
541
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,690
in trouble, okay?
542
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,859
You know what happens next?
543
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,236
Beck, what happens next?
544
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,071
Uh, I think the boys
545
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,071
should get a time-out.
546
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:06,823
Time-out. That's right.
547
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:06,823
Time out for the both of you.
548
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,825
That's good, okay,
549
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,825
you guys are gonna go upstairs
550
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,951
and you're gonna sit there
551
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,951
until it's time to come out.
552
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,663
Uh, hence the term, "time-out."
553
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,998
And, Jess. No dessert.
554
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,710
Why? I was tough.
555
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,710
I didn't waffle.
556
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,295
- Not you. The boys!
557
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,295
- 'Oh, that's right.'
558
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,256
Come on, guys. Let's go.
559
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,466
Come on. Upstairs.
560
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,847
Sorry, everyone.
561
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,140
Hey, come on, Beck,
562
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,140
this stuff happens all the time.
563
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,727
I mean who amongst us
564
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,727
hasn't splattered bean dip
565
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,854
all over their headboard, huh?
566
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,192
Pass me the bread, please.
567
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,278
Okay, everybody, let's get back
568
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,278
to this fabulous meal
569
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,696
that Vicky made for us.
570
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,155
Hey, everything's really good.
571
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,784
Yeah, it's fantastic.
572
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,118
Do you like it, Michelle?
573
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,994
I love it.
574
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,456
Wouldn't you like
575
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,456
to taste it first?
576
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,249
Oh. Right.
577
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,849
That is good.
578
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,352
Michelle, you're missing
579
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,352
the best part.
580
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,104
Here you go.
581
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,025
Well, uh, everyone eat up.
582
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,446
There's plenty more
583
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,446
where this came from.
584
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,657
Where did it come from?
585
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,536
Okay, there you go. Guys, I'm
586
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,536
not doing this to be mean.
587
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:36,871
It's just that uh..
588
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,080
Hey, you kinda backed me
589
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,080
in a corner
590
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,081
down there in front of everybody
591
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,416
with that pasta incident.
592
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:42,001
I mean, you don't want
593
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:42,001
your old man
594
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,377
looking like a weenie, do you?
595
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,588
- Weenie.
596
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,588
- Weenie.
597
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,966
No, come on guys, this is no
598
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,966
joke. Sit down son, please.
599
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,217
Put the chair down. Now,
600
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,217
sit down. This isn't a joke.
601
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,845
Look, we're all
602
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,845
on the same team here.
603
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,262
Let's just do this
604
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,262
time-out thing
605
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:54,472
and we'll get it
606
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:54,472
over with, okay?
607
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,599
[blowing a raspberry]
608
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,853
You know what? Now,
609
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,853
you've pushed me too far.
610
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,562
You know, I'm trying
611
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,562
to be a nice guy.
612
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,356
Nicky, Alex, you keep
613
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,356
those little butts in those
614
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,692
chairs and you do not move
615
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,692
a muscle until I say it's okay.
616
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:06,901
Do you understand me?
617
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,488
- Mean daddy.
618
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,488
- 'Mean guy.'
619
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,573
Mean daddy.
620
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,035
Mean daddy?
621
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:18,287
'Mean daddy.'
622
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,001
So, Steph, what do you think
623
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,001
of goat cheese now?
624
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,628
Good food. Bad name.
625
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,254
(Steve)
626
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,254
'You know,
627
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,254
I learned something today.'
628
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,757
If it comes out of a goat,
629
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,757
I'm eating it.
630
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,220
Well, what I hope
631
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,220
Steve means is
632
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:36,597
this is one of the greatest
633
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:36,597
meals we've ever had.
634
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,766
- That's the truth.
635
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,766
- Wonderful.
636
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,184
Yeah, it's really good.
637
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,102
[indistinct chattering]
638
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,398
Girls, girls, you can take it
639
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,398
down to about a four, okay?
640
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,066
No daddy, it really is great.
641
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:50,444
I'd eat it even if
642
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:50,444
you didn't pay us.
643
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,240
Danny?
644
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:55,783
Did you pay these
645
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:55,783
children to pretend
646
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,827
they like my cooking?
647
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,414
Well, not all of them.
648
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,208
Yeah. What a rip-off.
649
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:08,337
Why would you do that?
650
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:11,215
Look, Vicky, I know
651
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:11,215
how finicky the girls can be
652
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,634
and I didn't want them
653
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,634
to hurt your feelings.
654
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:14,844
I'm sorry.
655
00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:15,887
I should have had more faith
656
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,514
in you and your goat cheese.
657
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:19,849
Yes, you should have.
658
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,350
But because you did it
659
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,350
out of caring
660
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:23,394
I'm going to forgive you.
661
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,396
Oh, thanks.
662
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:28,357
Right after you do the dishes.
663
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,611
Oh!
664
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:35,073
Excuse me. Some of us are
665
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:35,073
trying to keep our dinner down.
666
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:38,868
Okay, time for dessert.
667
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,954
Vanilla ice cream
668
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,954
with chocolate syrup.
669
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,539
- 'Alright.'
670
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,539
- Sounds good.
671
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:46,417
- 'I love chocolate chip.'
672
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:46,417
- 'Ah, man! Ice cream!'
673
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,752
(Becky)
674
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,752
'How did it go?'
675
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,545
Oh, fine. Good.
676
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:50,755
There were no tears.
677
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:51,965
And, uh..
678
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,926
...the boys took it
679
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,926
pretty well too.
680
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,595
Well, maybe this will
681
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,595
make you feel better.
682
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,056
Um, there's an extra two.
683
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,558
They were for Nicky and Alex.
684
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,685
(all)
685
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,685
Aw.
686
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,854
What? A guy tries to set
687
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,854
a couple of limits and--
688
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,064
Honey, you did
689
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,064
the right thing.
690
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,441
Well, tell them to stop
691
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,441
"awing" at me.
692
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,361
(D.J.)
693
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,361
'But I love dessert soufflé.'
694
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,447
[indistinct chattering]
695
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,577
- Mean daddy.
696
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,577
- Mean daddy.
697
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,329
Mean daddy.
698
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,457
- Mean daddy.
699
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,457
- Mean daddy.
700
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,293
- Mean daddy.
701
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,293
- Mean daddy.
702
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,672
[indistinct chattering
703
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,594
[instrumental music]
704
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,816
Boys.
705
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,152
(Becky)
706
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,152
'Jess?'
707
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,402
'Jess?'
708
00:19:58,614 --> 00:19:59,949
Are-are you okay?
709
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:02,535
You just seemed
710
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:02,535
a little upset downstairs.
711
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,787
Upset? Me?
712
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,165
No. I'm fine.
713
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,043
I'm cold, cool-cool.
714
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,043
Everything's, uh..
715
00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,837
...very cool.
716
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,506
Well look, I know it was really
717
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,506
hard for you to punish the boys.
718
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,926
And I just, I wanted to say
719
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,926
thank you for being so strong.
720
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,639
And so cold.
721
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,349
- Jess.
722
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,349
- I am kind of cold..
723
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,642
What?
724
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,728
What are these?
725
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,397
How did those get in my shirt?
726
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,397
Who inspected this shirt?
727
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,234
Aha! Number 19.
728
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,234
I'm writing a letter.
729
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,738
You were sneaking ice cream
730
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,738
up to the boys.
731
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:40,573
I thought we agreed
732
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:40,573
to be tough.
733
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,282
Well, they didn't call you
734
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,282
"mean daddy".
735
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,244
Oh, honey.
736
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,244
They're just angry.
737
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:48,664
It's perfectly natural.
738
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:48,664
They're just words.
739
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:51,918
They didn't happen to mention
740
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:51,918
"mean mommy", did they?
741
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:55,004
I distinctively heard
742
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:55,004
"mean daddy."
743
00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:58,049
Oh, Beck, I never pictured
744
00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:58,049
myself as the kind of father
745
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,550
that would come down
746
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,550
so hard on my kids.
747
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,468
I mean, I always swore
748
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,468
if I had kids
749
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:04,263
I'd be like their friend,
750
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:04,263
you know, their pal.
751
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:07,307
Hmm. And their mother could
752
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:07,307
handle the discipline.
753
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,977
Great. Would you?
754
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:12,855
Honey, why is this
755
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:12,855
so hard for you?
756
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,442
Oh, Beck, it happened.
757
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:19,486
I swore it would never happen
758
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:19,486
and it happened.
759
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,906
What happened?
760
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:24,200
I turned into my father.
761
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:26,035
Oh, Beck, you should have heard
762
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:26,035
me yelling at the boys.
763
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,828
It was, it was,
764
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,828
everything came back.
765
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:28,996
I sounded just like my dad.
766
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,414
"Sit in those seats
767
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,414
and don't move
768
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,291
a muscle until I say."
769
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:33,918
I hated it when he did that.
770
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,379
Why did dads have
771
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,379
to be that way?
772
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:40,299
Maybe because they're human.
773
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:44,053
Maybe because
774
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:44,053
they're frustrated.
775
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:48,307
Maybe they just want
776
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:48,307
what's best for their kids.
777
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:51,351
And you know, your dad
778
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:51,351
didn't do such a bad job.
779
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:54,272
You turned out pretty good.
780
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,233
Well, I was blessed
781
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,233
in the hair area.
782
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:02,989
Man, Ward Cleaver
783
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:02,989
made it look so easy.
784
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,199
Well, June was
785
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,199
no slouch either.
786
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,409
Should we spring 'em?
787
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,078
Please.
788
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,000
Wally? Beav?
789
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,084
Time-out's over.
790
00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:17,336
[clanking]
791
00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:20,256
See, Beck, they wish
792
00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:20,256
that was my head.
793
00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:22,008
They do not.
794
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:23,425
Alright, boys.
795
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,053
You know what?
796
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,053
It's time for your baths.
797
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:29,140
And then we're gonna
798
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:29,140
get you ready for bed.
799
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:32,852
And tonight, you're going
800
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:32,852
to sleep in your own beds.
801
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,604
- Big bed.
802
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,604
- Go big bed.
803
00:22:36,563 --> 00:22:37,815
No. Big bed.
804
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,984
No. Not the big bed.
805
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,695
Tonight, you guys are gonna
806
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,695
sleep in your race car beds.
807
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:44,113
Capisce?
808
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,909
- Ca-please.
809
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,909
- Ca-please.
810
00:22:58,336 --> 00:23:00,546
See, Beck. They still love me.
811
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:02,089
I had a feeling they might.
812
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,633
[grunts]
813
00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:06,719
Give me kisses. Mmm!
814
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:14,643
[theme music]