1 00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,297 Boys, boys! 2 00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:09,009 Boys, I'm opening up 3 00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:09,009 the Smash Club tonight. 4 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,846 I'm trying to do 5 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,846 some last minute accounting. 6 00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:13,597 I need some time alone. 7 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,599 Here. Come over here. 8 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,599 Here, here you go. 9 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,351 Here's your dough. 10 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,351 Play with it. 11 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,270 Hence the name, play dough. 12 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,270 There you go. 13 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,063 Still working, Uncle Jesse? 14 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,899 Yes. 15 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,400 You need a cookie break. 16 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,194 Michelle, I'm too old 17 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,194 for a cookie break. 18 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:31,072 Besides, I polished off the last 19 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:31,072 bit of Oreos around midnight. 20 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,908 Why didn't you wake me? 21 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,452 I'm sorry, kid. 22 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,452 You see, I'm so busy, I.. 23 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,120 You know, I never realized 24 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,120 how expensive it is 25 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,747 to own your own club. 26 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,747 Check out.. 27 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,082 Check out this grand total. 28 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,082 Look at this. 29 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,584 You see that? 30 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,584 Look at that. 31 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:45,713 One dollar 32 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:45,713 and ninety eight cents. 33 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:49,925 Wow! I can open a club 34 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:49,925 with my tooth fairy money. 35 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:53,721 Oh, yeah. 36 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:53,721 Something is going awry here. 37 00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,602 What about it, gentlemen? 38 00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,602 Hmm? 39 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,731 How did this play dough 40 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,731 get inside my calculator? 41 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,900 Don't know. 42 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,407 [theme music] 43 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,493 ♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪ 44 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,705 ♪ Aaah ♪ 45 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,545 ♪ Whatever happened 46 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,545 to predictability? ♪ 47 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:30,841 ♪ The milkman the paper boy 48 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:30,841 evenin' TV ♪ 49 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,596 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 50 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,596 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 51 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,139 ♪ There's a heart ♪ 52 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,139 ♪ There's a heart ♪ 53 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,559 ♪ A hand to hold on to ♪ 54 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,144 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 55 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,144 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 56 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:48,149 ♪ There's a face 57 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:48,149 of somebody who needs you ♪ 58 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,236 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 59 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:55,115 ♪ When you're lost out there 60 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:55,115 and you're all alone ♪ 61 00:01:55,156 --> 00:02:00,161 ♪ A light is waitin' 62 00:01:55,156 --> 00:02:00,161 to carry you home ♪ 63 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:04,249 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 64 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:08,003 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 65 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,798 ♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪ 66 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,928 [instrumental music] 67 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,939 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, 68 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,939 hey, hey! 69 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,607 I have been tasting coffee 70 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,607 all day 71 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,985 and I think, I've come up 72 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,985 with the perfect brew 73 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,945 for the Smash Club opening, 74 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,945 okay? 75 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:34,905 Oh, here's the bill 76 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:34,905 for the coffee beans. 77 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,911 I think all this coffee-tasting 78 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,911 has got you a little wired. 79 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,413 Now, listen. I got everything 80 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,413 riding on the club tonight. 81 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,749 Okay? So I need you to be calm, 82 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,749 cool, and collected. 83 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,584 Everything's gotta click 84 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,584 like clockwork. Got it? 85 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,711 Clickin' like clockwork. 86 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,711 Clickety-clack. Clickety-clack. 87 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,880 Calm, cool, collected. 88 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,880 Clickety-clack. Down the track. 89 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,256 ♪ Pardon me, boy ♪ 90 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,842 ♪ Is that the 91 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,842 Chattanooga choo choo ♪ 92 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,677 ♪ Hoot hoot track 29 ♪ 93 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,304 ♪ Say can you give me a shine? 94 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,304 Hey! ♪♪ 95 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,516 Calm, calm, please. 96 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,183 - Ca.. 97 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,183 - Okay. 98 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,771 - There we go. Okay? 99 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,771 - Okay. 100 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:09,397 - Feeling better now? 101 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:09,397 - Yeah. 102 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,108 'Good. Your head is starting 103 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,108 to go. Let me see.' 104 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,567 (Danny) 105 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,567 'Sorry.' 106 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,824 What did I tell you guys 107 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,824 about dancing without me? 108 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:22,577 Hey, guys, I got great news. 109 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,371 You will not believe the band 110 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,371 I booked for tonight. 111 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,664 What are you talking about? 112 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,124 We booked the Brass Weasels 113 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,124 three weeks ago. 114 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,668 Forget about the Brass Weasels. 115 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,668 I got R.E.M. 116 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,210 They're under 117 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,210 the same management. 118 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,963 - You got R.E.M? 119 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,963 - Yeah. 120 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,422 R.E.M.'s gonna play 121 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,422 at the Smash Club? 122 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,091 Well, yeah, they played 123 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,091 there years ago 124 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,969 and they thought it'd be a kick 125 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,969 to come back and play again. 126 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:41,763 Joey, my man. 127 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:41,763 R.E.M. 128 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,640 Thank you. 129 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,018 Gee, your hair smells like 130 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,018 melon. What are you using? 131 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,020 Oh, it's this new stuff, 132 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,020 it's called, uh 133 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,438 Gee, Your Hair Smells 134 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,438 Like Melon. 135 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,321 Keep them closed. No peeking. 136 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,321 Okay, keep 'em closed. 137 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,116 Close them. 138 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,116 Here we go, and.. 139 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,951 Ta-da! 140 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,453 - Whoa! 141 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,453 - Wow! 142 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:09,041 Uncle Jesse, I love it. 143 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:09,041 It is so cool. 144 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,418 Yeah, it is, isn't it? 145 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,418 Hey, check this out. 146 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,879 You wanna see cool? 147 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,879 Check this out for cool. 148 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,590 - Ah? 149 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,590 - Oh. 150 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,175 Whoa. 151 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:20,219 It's kind of a 90s look back 152 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:20,219 at the 70s thing. 153 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,720 You know, kind of.. 154 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,473 The only problem is 155 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,473 it's so hard to fix your hair. 156 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,726 You gotta keep moving. 157 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,687 Here we go. 158 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:33,648 [feedback] 159 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:33,648 Ho ho ho. 160 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:33,648 Girls, girls, girls, please. 161 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,526 It's very expensive equipment. 162 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,526 Do not touch the microphone. 163 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,486 We're not. 164 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,449 [rattling] 165 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:45,285 - This isn't working. 166 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:45,285 - Danny. 167 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,788 Danny, Da.. 168 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,788 What are you doing? 169 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,414 I'm playing the slot machine. 170 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,999 This coffee machine 171 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,999 is not working. 172 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,876 It's not a coffee machine. 173 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,876 It's imported from Italy. 174 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:55,129 Its name is Signore Cappuccino. 175 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:55,129 Here. 176 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,131 It was working fine yesterday. 177 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,131 Read the instructions. 178 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,299 No problem. Doesn't even matter. 179 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,299 I-I brought coffee from home. 180 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:00,884 If anybody's thirsty, 181 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:00,884 I've got some right here. 182 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,427 Anybody want coffee? 183 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,427 Anyone, anyone? 184 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,430 Hey, check it out. 185 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,430 New waitresses are here. 186 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,934 I hope these pockets are big 187 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,934 enough to hold all our tips. 188 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:12,020 Kimmy, what the heck 189 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:12,020 did you do to your uniform? 190 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,354 I'm just trying 191 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,354 to wear something 192 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,065 to express my personality. 193 00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:18,902 Yeah, well, it makes me 194 00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:18,902 wanna express my lunch. 195 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,822 Now, take that clown outfit off, 196 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,822 and you girls get to work. 197 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,784 Ouch! Hard to feel good 198 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,784 about life after that. 199 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,619 Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie. 200 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,164 What did I tell you 201 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,164 about the sound equipment? 202 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,666 Michelle, this is not a toy. 203 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,460 Don't blame me. 204 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,460 I'm just playing with the drums. 205 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,593 Jess, honey, honey, come here. 206 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:46,013 You know, what sometimes, 207 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:46,013 when I'm under a lot of pressure 208 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,931 I sit in my car 209 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,931 with the windows rolled up 210 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,724 and I let out one good scream. 211 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,811 Well, that's good to know. From 212 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,811 now on, I'll do the driving. 213 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,688 Jo, Joseph, Joseph, my.. 214 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,690 The man that brought me R.E.M. 215 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,066 You know, I'm starting 216 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,066 to think you're the only guy 217 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,151 I can count on around here. 218 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:00,359 Well, hold that thought. 219 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,779 Uh, there's been 220 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,779 a little mix-up. 221 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,240 What kind of mix-up? 222 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,240 Oh, hi, girls. 223 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,409 Oh, listen, the, uh, the 224 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,409 bingo hall is down the street. 225 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,246 Uh, Jess, actually, 226 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,246 I'd like you to meet, uh 227 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:14,457 Renee, Esther, and Martha. 228 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:18,212 Get it, R-E-M? 229 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,714 (all) 230 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,714 Well, what's up, darling? 231 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,177 Hi, girls. 232 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,177 So nice to meet you. 233 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:28,096 Excuse me one second, while 234 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:28,096 I speak to my friend, Joseph. 235 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,973 Joseph. 236 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,186 Jess, I'm really sorry, 237 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,186 I mean, what are the chances 238 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,897 of two groups 239 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,897 having the same name? 240 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,566 What are the chances 241 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,566 of my whole night being ruined? 242 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,902 - I'd say pretty good. 243 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,902 - Get that. 244 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,696 Uh, ladies, can I show you 245 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,696 to your dressing room? 246 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,907 [machine hissing] 247 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,407 Danny, Danny, Danny. 248 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,160 What are you doing 249 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,160 to my Signore Cappuccino? 250 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:53,621 - I said read the instructions. 251 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:53,621 - They're in Italian. 252 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:55,874 Uncle Jesse-- 253 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,667 - No. 254 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,667 - No what? 255 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,460 - I didn't ask you anything. 256 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,460 - The answer's just no. 257 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,420 You know what, everybody, you 258 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,420 know, just stay out of my hair. 259 00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,173 Okay? I'm trying to open 260 00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,173 this club. 261 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,799 Everybody's getting in my way. 262 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,799 Things are getting messed up. 263 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,135 Please, just let me do 264 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,135 everything myself, alright? 265 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,427 - Fine. 266 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,427 - Fine. 267 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:09,721 - Okay. 268 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:09,721 - Alright. Fine. 269 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,640 The microphone, 270 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,640 the drums, and the co.. 271 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,518 Look at this. See, this is 272 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,518 exactly what I'm talking about. 273 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,645 Empty napkin holder, 274 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,645 I ordered special napkins 275 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,232 and are they in here? 276 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,232 No. 277 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:27,406 Napkins! Napkins! 278 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:27,406 Napkins! Napkins! 279 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,741 Flypaper. Flypaper. 280 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,838 Ah, here they are. 281 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,838 Napkins. 282 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,341 "The Smush Club." 283 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,553 I specifically 284 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,553 ordered the Smash.. 285 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:53,514 Well, maybe Becky's right. Maybe 286 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:53,514 I just need to let out a good.. 287 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,475 Aah! 288 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,227 Aah! 289 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,230 - What are you doing? 290 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,230 - Don't kill me. 291 00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,023 I'll get back to work. 292 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:10,365 What we have here 293 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:10,365 is shoddy craftsmanship. 294 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,117 Give me that. 295 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,622 Oh, no, we're stuck. 296 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,708 Oh, this can't be happening. 297 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,708 Not tonight. 298 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,544 Well, look on the bright side. 299 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,544 At least you're not alone. 300 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,386 Help! 301 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,388 Help! 302 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,601 [instrumental music] 303 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,280 Don't you know anything 304 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,280 besides "Wipeout?" 305 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,908 Oh, I'm sorry, Beck. 306 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,908 Too much coffee. I'm sorry. 307 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:57,745 Hey, guys, we can't find 308 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:57,745 Uncle Jesse anywhere. 309 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,706 Yeah, we tracked him 310 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,706 as far as the kitchen 311 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:03,001 then we lost the scent 312 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:03,001 of his styling gel. 313 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,253 Alright, well, don't worry. 314 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,253 He'll be here. 315 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,381 I mean, remember, this is 316 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,381 the man who went skydiving 317 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:08,756 on our wedding day. 318 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,925 He just handles pressure 319 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,925 his own way. 320 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,512 His own boneheaded way. 321 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,307 Hey, hey, there's a whole lot 322 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,307 of people lining up outside. 323 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,767 It must be a fire drill. 324 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,395 No, Michelle, 325 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,395 th-those are our customers. 326 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,230 We-we should have started 327 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,230 ten minutes ago. 328 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,316 I gotta figure out 329 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,316 a way to make cappuccino. 330 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:30,695 Alright. 331 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:30,695 It's just you and me. 332 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,947 Man versus machine. 333 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,947 You keep in mind. 334 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,409 I once kicked the crumbs 335 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,409 out of an eight-slice toaster. 336 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,077 [machine rattling] 337 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:40,455 Whoa! Hey! Whoa! Okay. 338 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:43,666 Hey, I was kidding, alright? 339 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:43,666 I would never hurt an appliance. 340 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,004 - 'Oh!' 341 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,004 - Alright, D.J. 342 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,049 You and Kimmy 343 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,049 finish setting all the.. 344 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,051 - Where's Kimmy? 345 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,051 - I don't know. 346 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,761 I haven't seen her in a while. 347 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,430 Maybe she's touching up 348 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,430 her makeup. 349 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,265 Any paint rollers missing? 350 00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,184 - Hey, 351 00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,184 - 'Oh, Joey, look.' 352 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,437 We're gonna have to open 353 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,437 with or without Jesse. 354 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,188 - Is R.E.M. ready? 355 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,188 - Oh, yeah. 356 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,441 They're preparing just like 357 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,441 any other rock group. 358 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:10,151 They're making a quilt. 359 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,446 Hey, guys. Guys, 360 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,446 come on, what's the holdup? 361 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,239 I brought a bunch 362 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,239 of buddies from college. 363 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,199 Well, I guess 364 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,199 we better let them in. 365 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:20,036 I just hope no one wants 366 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:20,036 any coffee or entertainment. 367 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,872 Hey, everybody, come on. 368 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,872 Guys, come on in. 369 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,041 Let's all get down front 370 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,041 for R.E.M., okay? 371 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:28,462 (all chanting) 372 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:28,462 R.E.M.! R.E.M.! R.E.M.! 373 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:31,631 R.E.M.! R.E.M.! R.E.M.! 374 00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:35,051 R. E. M.! R.E.M.! R.E.M.! 375 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:38,388 'R.E.M.! R.E.M.! R.E.M.!' 376 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,682 [clanking] 377 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,565 Runnin' out of knives. 378 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,650 Isn't this 379 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,650 a crazy twist of fate? 380 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,612 You and I 381 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,612 stuck here like this? 382 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,745 Aw, Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy. 383 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,081 Look, Kim, I-I know 384 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,081 over the years, you've, uh.. 385 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:10,795 ...probably had a little, 386 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:10,795 uh, crush on me. 387 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,922 Get real, I meant, 388 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,922 we're stuck here 389 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,467 with all these chips, 390 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,467 and no dip. 391 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,471 I know that. 392 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,471 I know that. 393 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:22,182 See? That's what I'm saying. 394 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:22,182 No dip. 395 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,517 The way everybody's 396 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,517 screwing up around here 397 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:24,934 I'm probably 398 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:24,934 out of business already. 399 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,020 [banging] 400 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,020 Help! 401 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,063 What's-what's a "Smush Club?" 402 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,441 That's what I'm talkin' about. 403 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,441 Even the printer screwed up. 404 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,943 I specifically wrote clear 405 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,943 as day on the order form. 406 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,446 - Smash Club. 407 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,446 - Is this your handwriting? 408 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,989 Of course, it's my handwriting. 409 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,242 Yep, you're right, clear as day. 410 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,242 Smush Club. 411 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,747 Who gets the blame for that one, 412 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,747 Mr. Perfect? The pen? 413 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,916 Well, as a matter of fact, yes, 414 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,916 I was using one of Joey's, uh 415 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,960 Yogi, the bear pens. 416 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,960 It was so cute. 417 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,546 It was, uh, the thing 418 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,546 with Ranger Smith. 419 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:55,714 You turn it upside-down, 420 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:55,714 and his pants fall down. 421 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,551 Okay, so I made 422 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,551 one small mistake. 423 00:11:57,592 --> 00:12:00,470 Ooh, so even 424 00:11:57,592 --> 00:12:00,470 the boss makes mistakes. 425 00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:04,765 I guess the napkin's on the 426 00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:04,765 other foot now, eh, mousse man? 427 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,524 So I go to the doctor and I say, 428 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,524 "Hey, doc, I have a headache." 429 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,984 And he says, 430 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,984 "Well, take off your clothes." 431 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,153 So I say, 432 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,153 "Will that stop my headache?" 433 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:20,281 And he says, "No, I just 434 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:20,281 hate what you're wearing." 435 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,242 [Steve laughing] 436 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,078 [clears throat] 437 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,496 Yeah? 438 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:29,499 How come your friends 439 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:29,499 aren't, uh, laughing? 440 00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:32,043 Uh, well, I guess it's because 441 00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:32,043 they're all exchange students 442 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:36,089 from Greenland 443 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:36,089 and none of them speak English. 444 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,550 Oh, that might have 445 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,550 something to do with it. 446 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,051 I guess. Yeah, 447 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,051 but-but don't worry, okay? 448 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,262 Because they'll go crazy 449 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,262 when R.E.M. comes on. 450 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:46,057 (all chanting) 451 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:46,057 R.E.M.! R.E.M.! R.E.M.! 452 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,852 R.E.M.! R.E.M.! R.E.M.! 453 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,397 Your cafe latte 454 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,397 is on the way. 455 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,774 Um, your espresso, 456 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,774 it's on the way. 457 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,903 Whatever it was you ordered, 458 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,903 it's on the way. 459 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,447 [clinking glass] 460 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:05,159 Miss, remember me, the 461 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:05,159 cappuccino and the sticky bun? 462 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,289 I'm sorry, sir, 463 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,289 but it's not quite ready yet. 464 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,541 Neither is this club 465 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,541 and I intend to make that 466 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,461 quite clear in my review. 467 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,088 Review? 468 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,088 Are you a critic? 469 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,466 Elliott Warner, 470 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,466 perhaps you're familiar 471 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,009 with my column, 472 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,009 Eating Out With Elliott. 473 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,138 Yeah. I read it this morning. 474 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,765 You said 475 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,765 some pretty horrible things 476 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,182 about that place 477 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,182 on Market Street. 478 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,144 Yes, well, 479 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,144 mother lost her touch. 480 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,983 - How is everything going here? 481 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,983 - I'd like to see the owner. 482 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,277 [chuckles] 483 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,277 So would I. 484 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,946 This club is a disgrace. 485 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:45,074 Look, sir, it's opening night, 486 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:45,074 and we're having a few problems. 487 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:48,495 - A few? 488 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:48,495 - Listen, buster. 489 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,497 The owner is missing. 490 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,497 We're a waitress short. 491 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,206 All the instructions 492 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,206 are in Italian. 493 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:55,042 And not one person has said 494 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:55,042 they like my dress. 495 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,628 So if you're not happy here 496 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,505 you can just take 497 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,505 your ponytail, and-- 498 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,006 - Aunt Becky. 499 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,006 - What? 500 00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,258 [whispering] 501 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,927 [laughing] 502 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,927 Mr. Warner. 503 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,805 I hope you enjoyed 504 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,805 that little scene 505 00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:09,683 from "Agnes, Hostess From Hell." 506 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,893 It's part of a little 507 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,893 theater group 508 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:15,438 we have going here 509 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:15,438 at the Smash Club. 510 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,609 So please feel free to stick 511 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,609 around for our second show. 512 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,660 Look at these instructions. I 513 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,660 should have studied engineering. 514 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:33,039 Dad, we're dying out there. 515 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:33,039 Where's the cappuccino? 516 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,667 Somewhere 517 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,667 inside this devil machine. 518 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,377 [rattling] 519 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:38,795 Hiss. 520 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,841 Guys, we're in trouble, 521 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,841 I just heard somebody say 522 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,092 this is the worst service 523 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,092 they've ever had. 524 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,845 Was it that guy over there? 525 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,556 No, it was this girl over here. 526 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:54,060 I'm sorry but 15 minutes 527 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:54,060 for milk is ridiculous. 528 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:59,148 - Oh, that's it. I give up. 529 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:59,148 - What do you mean, Joey? 530 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,609 - You can't quit. 531 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,609 - Well, you're right. 532 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,987 I mean, quitting's what you do 533 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,987 when you're getting paid. 534 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,407 I'm just stopping. 535 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,492 You know, Becky, maybe we should 536 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,492 just close up right now and have 537 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,537 the grand opening on a night 538 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,537 that the owner's actually here. 539 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,121 Oh, well, now, 540 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,121 wait a minute, you guys. 541 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,707 Jesse has always 542 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,707 been there for us 543 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,417 so we have to be there for him. 544 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,252 Come on, we're a team. 545 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,379 It's like my volleyball coach 546 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,379 used to say. 547 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,883 "Stop whining, Donaldson, 548 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,883 and get your can out there." 549 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:30,012 Hey, wait a minute. 550 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:30,012 It's working. 551 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,723 Okay, see? This is a sign. 552 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,808 Uh, Steph, Michelle, 553 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,808 you help D.J. waitress. 554 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,268 Everyone else, 555 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,268 you know what to do. 556 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,437 Bump, set, spike! 557 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,484 Well, that's what 558 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,484 my coach used to say. 559 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:48,865 Oh, come, sei bella. 560 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:48,865 Molto bene. 561 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:53,202 - How did you get it to work? 562 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:53,202 - Maybe.. 563 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,747 Maybe he made it an offer.. 564 00:15:57,206 --> 00:16:00,000 ...that it couldn't refuse. 565 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,795 Michael. 566 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,465 Help. 567 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,469 Help. 568 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,138 I'm gonna slip this rescue note 569 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,138 under the door. 570 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,891 "Help. 571 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,891 Trapped in here with.." 572 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:18,686 Is egotistical, hair-crazed 573 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:18,686 maniac a hyphenated word? 574 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,898 Gibbler, give me a break. 575 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,401 I'm trying to be a good boss. 576 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,445 Well, a good boss 577 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,445 doesn't go around screaming 578 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,780 and insulting people. 579 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,282 Now, who did I insult? 580 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,911 Oh, you mean that crack 581 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,911 about that clown outfit? 582 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,330 That didn't offend you, 583 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,330 did it? 584 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:38,957 Why do you think 585 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:38,957 I was sitting here all alone 586 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,583 in a dark storeroom? 587 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,462 To slack off 588 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,462 and steal food? 589 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:49,843 No, well, I mean, that occurred 590 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:49,843 to me once I got here but.. 591 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,011 ...you really hurt my feelings. 592 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,348 - Really? 593 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,348 - Yeah. 594 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,476 I'm sorry, Kimmy. 595 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,770 I really worked hard 596 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,770 on this uniform. 597 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,230 I just wanted 598 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,230 to look nice for tonight. 599 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,358 I know. Big opening. 600 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,944 Well, that and I was hoping 601 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,944 to meet a rich guy 602 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,864 get married, and get out 603 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,864 of my biology test next week. 604 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,952 You're right, Kimmy. 605 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,952 I was, I was a jerk. 606 00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,787 I mean, you know, I opened 607 00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,787 this club so everyone could have 608 00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:20,874 a good time, and I end up 609 00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:20,874 making everyone miserable 610 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,792 including myself. 611 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,256 Well, hey, it's okay, big guy. 612 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,051 Just.. Go ahead and cry. 613 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,051 Just let it all out. 614 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,469 I'm not crying. 615 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,469 A drip hit me. 616 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,513 - I did not. 617 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,513 - Not you. 618 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,518 That was a drip from this, uh, 619 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,518 this air conditioning vent. 620 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,811 Look out. 621 00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:45,023 Hey. 622 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,816 This may be our way out. 623 00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:48,192 Where are you going? 624 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,070 Wherever this takes me. 625 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,530 Oh! 626 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,119 Gibbler, I'm stuck. 627 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:04,667 I never thought I'd say this 628 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:04,667 but, uh, grab the tush and push. 629 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,252 You got it, boss. 630 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,339 - There you go. 631 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,339 - Thank you. 632 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:15,469 Here you go, our special 633 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:15,469 cappuccino, piping hot. 634 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,513 With extra whipped cream. 635 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,557 And a nice, fresh sticky bun. 636 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,559 With extra sticky. 637 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,526 Excellent. 638 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,526 Subtle, yet sophisticated. 639 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,240 - Is there a problem? 640 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,240 - Mister, you have-- 641 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,701 Uh, enjoy your nose.. 642 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,701 Coffee. 643 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,288 Thank you. 644 00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:45,291 Wo-ho! 645 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:46,751 Well, now that 646 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:46,751 you're all in a good mood 647 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,795 a, uh, understanding mood 648 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,464 heck, a non-violent mood 649 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:53,382 I think it's time 650 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:53,382 to bring out the band 651 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,802 and, uh, let's, uh, 652 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,802 let's bring them right out 653 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:59,513 and I swear their name 654 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:59,513 is, uh, R.E.M. Here we go. 655 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,892 (all chanting) 656 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,892 R.E.M.! R.E.M.! R.E.M.! 657 00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:06,145 R.E.M.! R.E.M.! R.E.M.! 658 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,187 ♪ Aah ♪ 659 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:11,442 ♪ Aah aah aah ♪ 660 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:16,614 ♪ My bonnie lies 661 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:16,614 over the ocean ♪ 662 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:20,952 ♪ My bonnie lies 663 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:20,952 over the sea ♪ 664 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,663 (all) 665 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,663 Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! 666 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,838 One, and two, and.. 667 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,756 [guitar music] 668 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,801 ♪ I said whip it ♪ 669 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,220 ♪ Whip it good ♪ 670 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,432 ♪ I said whip it ♪ 671 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:47,770 ♪ Whip it good 672 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:47,770 crack that whip ♪ 673 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,731 ♪ Give the past a slip ♪ 674 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:53,359 ♪ Step on a crack ♪ 675 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,945 ♪ Break your mama's back ♪ 676 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,656 ♪ Ba ba ♪ 677 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,656 ♪ When a problem comes along ♪ 678 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,659 ♪ You must whip it when 679 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,659 the feelings gone too long ♪ 680 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,370 ♪ You must whip it 681 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,370 when something's going wrong ♪ 682 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,205 ♪ You must whip it ♪ 683 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:09,167 ♪ Now whip it into shape ♪ 684 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,961 ♪ Shape it up get straight ♪ 685 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:14,630 ♪ Go forward move ahead ♪ 686 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,550 ♪ I do detect that 687 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,550 it's not too late ♪ 688 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,094 ♪ To whip it 689 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,094 whip it good ♪ 690 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:23,139 ♪ Crack that whip ♪ 691 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:25,725 ♪ Give the past a slip ♪ 692 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,977 I don't believe this. 693 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,977 They love them. This is amazing. 694 00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,937 This is a home run. 695 00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,937 This is a number one with the.. 696 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,605 This is by far.. 697 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,605 I'm very excited. 698 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,482 I guess we're a success. 699 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:34,734 I wish I knew 700 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:34,734 where Jesse was though. 701 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,652 I'm really starting 702 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,652 to get worried. 703 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:39,906 Aunt Becky, I don't think 704 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:39,906 you have to worry anymore. 705 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,246 [applause] 706 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,581 Whoa. 707 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:55,671 ♪ To whip it 708 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:55,671 whip it good ♪ 709 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,297 (Rebecca) 710 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,297 'Jess.' 711 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,550 What are you doing up there? 712 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,802 Getting nauseous. 713 00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,637 Ladies and gentlemen, 714 00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,637 here he is. 715 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,348 The owner of the Smash Club, 716 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,348 Jesse Katsopolis. 717 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,976 [cheering and applauding] 718 00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,523 Hi, nice to see you all. 719 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:16,316 Hi, welcome to Smash Club, 720 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:16,316 everybody. 721 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,402 Thank you. Hi. 722 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,402 Thanks so much for coming. 723 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,029 - 'Oh, honey.' 724 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,029 - My dear. 725 00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:21,989 - Thank you. 726 00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:21,989 - Fabulous, fabulous. 727 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:24,575 Thanks. You have something 728 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:24,575 white on your nose there. 729 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,577 It's a little.. 730 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,577 Excuse me. 731 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,204 Hi. 732 00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:30,664 ♪ Whip it whip it good ♪♪ 733 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,295 Oh, what a great night, huh? 734 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:39,048 Great is the operative word 735 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:39,048 there. Great with a capital G. 736 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,841 You know what, guys, 737 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,841 I-I'm gonna, I'm gonna put 738 00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:42,384 another pot of coffee, okay? 739 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:45,387 Any-anybody want a cup 740 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:45,387 before I wash the windows? 741 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,931 Danny, I think 742 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,931 you've had enough coffee. 743 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,348 You know what, Becky, 744 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,348 you're absolutely right. 745 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,850 Uh, maybe I'll make some tea. 746 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,850 Hot chocolate. 747 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,269 Anybody wants some of that? 748 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,269 Cola, diet cola? 749 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,770 I'll find something. 750 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:56,983 Guys, I don't know what to say. 751 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:56,983 This was.. 752 00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,609 This was the greatest night 753 00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,609 of my life. 754 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,194 I mean, everything was perfect.. 755 00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:02,529 ...once the room 756 00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:02,529 stopped spinning. 757 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,617 Listen, uh.. 758 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,911 [sighs] 759 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,911 I'm sorry I was such a jerk. 760 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:12,123 I promise, no more 761 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:12,123 bossing people around. 762 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:15,375 No more insulting people 763 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:15,375 like I, I did with you, Kim. 764 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:18,545 Aw, you big, sentimental lug. 765 00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:24,260 - Ah, what the heck? 766 00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:24,260 - No, Uncle Jesse. 767 00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:27,763 We've lost him to the dark side. 768 00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,725 Is anyone as tired as I am? 769 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,727 (all) 770 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,727 'Yes.' 771 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,271 Well, Michelle is. 772 00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:40,318 Wait, wait, wait. 773 00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:40,318 Where's everybody going? 774 00:22:40,358 --> 00:22:42,069 Look, look, I got games. 775 00:22:40,358 --> 00:22:42,069 I got games. 776 00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:43,654 'I got Trivial Pursuit, 777 00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:43,654 uh, Scattergories.' 778 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,405 I got Twister, I got Twister. 779 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,365 That's a great idea, you guys go 780 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,365 upstairs and get in your pajamas 781 00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:48,784 and I'll get everything set up. 782 00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:51,829 That's perfect. Okay, 783 00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:51,829 who's gonna go first? 784 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,371 Me. 785 00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:55,958 Okay. Here we go. 786 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,377 Spin the wheel. 787 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,377 Uh-oh. Right foot red. 788 00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:00,462 I got it. 789 00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:03,507 Whoa. Left foot green. 790 00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,843 Okay. Uh, guys? 791 00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,761 Uh, right hand blue. 792 00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:11,015 Boy, I put myself in a rough 793 00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:11,015 position there, didn't I? 794 00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:15,102 [theme music] 795 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,169 ♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪