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[instrumental music]
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[Joey humming]
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Brownies!
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Yummy!
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Shh..
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We gotta be sneaky.
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[Joey humming]
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Come on.
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Nicky, when I count to three,
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you pick up the plate.
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One, two, three.
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Oops. Busted.
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Okay, you little
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brownie nabber.
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Hand over
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the baked goods.
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You heard the man.
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- Thank you.
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- Welcome.
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[theme music]
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♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
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♪ Aaah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability? ♪
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♪ The milkman the paperboy ♪
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♪ Evenin' TV ♪
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♪ Aah aah ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody
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who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost
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out there ♪
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♪ And you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waitin' ♪
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♪ To carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Dooby doo baa ba dow ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Well, this is cool.
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Look at this.
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They didn't
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cancel the stamp.
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Got myself
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a freebie.
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Hey, what are you doing?
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Well, I'm gonna use
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this stamp again.
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It's called,
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saving 29 cents.
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Or in your language,
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"half an almond joy."
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Hey, D.J., talk to your uncle
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before he ends up
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on an episode
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of "America's Most Wanted."
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He's trying to cheat
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the US Postal Service.
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I'm not cheating.
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Oh, correction.
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Stealing.
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Alright, fine, fine.
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You want the stamp?
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Here. Here's the stupid stamp.
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There you go.
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Guys, I'd love to stay and chat
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but my SAT's are tomorrow,
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remember?
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The test that determines
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what college I get into?
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If I don't nail this,
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I'm not gonna go to Stanford.
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Hey, Kimmy, where
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are you applying?
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Clown college?
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Well, I do
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have an in.
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My Uncle Gibbo
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is the dean.
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Why am I not surprised?
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We have to study.
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Hey, Jess,
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look what I made.
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This potato kind of looks
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like Joe Pesci.
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That's funny.
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[imitating Joe Pesci]
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Okay, funny like-like what?
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Like I amuse you, some
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like a French fry or like..
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Okay, alright, okay,
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like what, huh?
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Joey, I-I have
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one word for you..
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...dating.
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What are you looking at?
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What are you looking at?
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You're looking at me?
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I'm looking back at you,
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you little spud head.
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"Wheel Of..
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...Fortune!"
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[instrumental music on TV]
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Do you mind?
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I'm trying to study.
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Hey, we can learn
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a lot from Vanna.
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She knows where every letter
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on that board is.
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Kimmy, look at this
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practice test.
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I've to raise my score
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150 points
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if I'm gonna get
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into Stanford.
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Safety ranger
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and deputies coming through.
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Michelle, what are you doing?
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It's Safety Week
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at school.
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My deputies are helping me
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look for violations.
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Mm-hmm..
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Ah!
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[whistling]
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Safety violation!
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Safety violation!
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Violation.
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Whose jacket is this?
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It's mine, squirt.
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What's it to ya?
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Clothes on a lamp
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can cause a fire.
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I'm giving you a ticket.
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Deputy, do your duty.
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Michelle, I really
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don't have time for this.
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There's always
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time for safety.
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Well, for your own safety,
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get out.
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Come on, guys, let's go.
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Well, okay, on Friday's show,
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we can either do a remote
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from the opening
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of the new highway
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or the unveiling of the world's
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largest chocolate bunny.
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Well, Becky we really
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have no choice.
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"Wake Up San Francisco" has
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a certain reputation to uphold.
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You're right.
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- Bunny.
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- Highway.
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Danny, the new highway
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is-is an engineering miracle.
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How can you compare that to
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an oversized chocolate rodent?
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Look, they promised
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they'd give us the ears!
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'D.J...'
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...Becky and I
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need some help.
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We-we can't decide what
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to do on Friday's show.
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Why don't you do it
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about a high school junior
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who flunks her SATs and ends up
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as a pathetic drain on society?
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Too late, Deej.
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My brother Garth
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already sold
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his life story
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to hard copy.
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- See ya.
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- Bye.
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Hey, guys,
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guess what?
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I gotta get back to work.
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But this is really important.
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My French teacher says
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I have an ear for languages.
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Can you say something
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in French?
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La fromage
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est sur le nez.
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Oh, what does
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that mean?
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There's cheese on my nose.
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Hey, everybody,
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time for dinner.
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Yeah, I think
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you'll like it.
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It's just something
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I whipped up
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with the aid of a little
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meat loaf helper.
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That would be me.
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Well, thanks, guys. But I'm
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just gonna make some tea.
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Don't you want
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some dinner?
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I'm so nervous
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I can't even chew.
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'Guys, wait a second.'
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Come back in here
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and close the door.
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'Just wanna talk to you.'
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I'm really worried
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about DJ
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and her taking
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this test tomorrow.
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Yeah, I've never seen her
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this nervous.
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Yeah, that's what
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I'm worried about.
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I remember, in school I had
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a really important track meet..
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...I just got
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totally over anxious.
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What happened?
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Ran the fastest sprint
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of my career.
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What's wrong
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with that?
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It was the high jump.
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Ran right into the bar.
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I just think, you know,
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I think DJ will do
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a lot better
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on this test tomorrow
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if we just downplay
242
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the whole thing, you know?
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So if it comes up at all,
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just say
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"Hey, it's no big deal.
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It's just a test."
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Repeat after me.
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We'll all try. Ready?
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It's no big deal.
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It's just a test.
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(together)
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It's no big deal.
253
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It's just a test.
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I think she'll buy that. I do.
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D.J., hold on. Why not-why don't
256
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you sit down and eat with us?
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No, dad, really.
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I can't.
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Oh, come on, Deej.
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I made your favorite.
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Meat loaf and potatoes.
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I'm really losing it.
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That potato
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looks like Joe Pesci.
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[imitating Joe Pesci]
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See, huh?
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See, I told you, you
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smart alec, wax-bean head.
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Guys, really, I'm never
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gonna get into Stanford
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if I don't go study.
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Sweetheart,
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it's no big deal, it's..
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(together)
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It's just a test.
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What, did you guys
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rehearse that?
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(together)
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Oh, no, not at all.
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- Hey, everybody.
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- Hi!
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- How you doing?
283
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- Hi, Deej.
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Hey, Deej, listen, I just read
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this article that said
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if you listen to Mozart,
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it can raise your IQ
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by like-like ten points.
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Steve, she doesn't
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need any CDs.
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Look, it's no big deal.
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- It's--
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- It's just a test.
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Actually I was gonna say,
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it's simply an examination but..
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[doorbell ringing]
297
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,556
I'll get it.
298
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,519
[doorbell ringing]
299
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,773
Yes, can I help you?
300
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,358
There he is!
301
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,944
That's the beast that's been
302
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,944
barking at my Anastasia.
303
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,864
Look, D.J., I swear, I don't
304
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,864
even know an Anastasia.
305
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,159
I don't know what
306
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,159
she's talking about.
307
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,412
Not you.
308
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:18,290
I'm talking about
309
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:18,290
that...that devil dog!
310
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,088
Every time we walk
311
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,088
by your yard, he barks.
312
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,341
Scared my little girl
313
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,341
half to death.
314
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,677
I'm sorry, but you
315
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,677
must be mistaken.
316
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:34,514
Comet is the kindest, gentlest,
317
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:34,514
most harmless dog in the world.
318
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,224
I am telling you
319
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,224
that dog's barking
320
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,809
is ruining
321
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,809
the neighborhood.
322
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,021
Look, lady, nobody
323
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,021
in this family barks!
324
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,900
Well, now we see
325
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,900
where he gets it.
326
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,531
Uh, Deej, you gotta
327
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,531
calm down.
328
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,533
Well, this test
329
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,533
is driving me crazy!
330
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,285
I know, look, I know
331
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,285
it's a lot of pressure
332
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,577
on you, but don't worry
333
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,577
about it.
334
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,163
I mean, hey,
335
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,163
I'll still love you
336
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:01,208
even if the only thing
337
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:01,208
you get right's your name.
338
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,335
Maybe I should write it
339
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,335
on my hand, just in case.
340
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,307
[whistling]
341
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,059
Michelle,
342
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,059
what are you doing?
343
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,560
Safety violation!
344
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,687
What-what happened?
345
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,687
What did I do?
346
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,732
Sleeping too close
347
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,732
to a pencil.
348
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,692
You can poke an eye out.
349
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,652
Michelle, I have a test
350
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,652
tomorrow morning!
351
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,196
It is tomorrow morning.
352
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,782
It's five to eight?
353
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,201
Oh, no! I overslept!
354
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,412
I'm gonna be late
355
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,412
for my test!
356
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:48,255
And now you've heard all
357
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:48,255
of the instructions and changes.
358
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,756
Oh, it's you!
359
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,216
The one with the mad dog.
360
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,844
You're giving the test?
361
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,513
Life's funny, isn't it?
362
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,226
What are these changes?
363
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,685
If you had been here on time
364
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,438
you would have heard them.
365
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:08,442
You know, your entire future
366
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:08,442
rests with this.
367
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,026
It's not just a test.
368
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,070
Tell me about it.
369
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,155
I just did. Now sit down.
370
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,536
Nice slippers, Deej.
371
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,662
Oh, my God!
372
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:27,001
I can't believe I overslept!
373
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:27,001
Kimmy, what are the changes?
374
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,670
You may now take out
375
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,670
your number four pencils.
376
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,839
Number four pencils?
377
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,092
I thought we were supposed
378
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,092
to use number two pencils.
379
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,427
Wake up and smell the changes.
380
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:40,640
To begin, uh, everyone write
381
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:40,640
your names on the answer sheet.
382
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,435
[smash]
383
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,782
Alright, everybody. We will
384
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,782
begin with the math section.
385
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,535
You may take out
386
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,535
your calculators and begin.
387
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,787
[sighs]
388
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,834
Hey, my calculator's gone!
389
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,169
I must have dropped
390
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,169
it somewhere!
391
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,546
Uh, excuse me!
392
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,298
We are in the middle
393
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,298
of a test.
394
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,133
Uh, this is an emergency.
395
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,261
Uh, D.J., you dropped
396
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,261
your calculator on the stairs.
397
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,929
Oh, great! You brought it?
398
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,431
I stepped on it.
399
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,558
But I brought this.
400
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,519
[thud]
401
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,357
[thud]
402
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,733
And the addition key,
403
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,733
it doesn't work.
404
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,571
Leave this classroom,
405
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,571
immediately.
406
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,616
Oh, I've got something
407
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,616
for you, too. Look.
408
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,951
Potato for the teacher.
409
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,997
Looks kinda like
410
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,997
Joe Pesci, doesn't it?
411
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,123
[imitating Joe Pesci]
412
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,123
Okay, okay.
413
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,249
'Okay, okay.'
414
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,251
Joe Pesci is..
415
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:51,710
...somewhat taller.
416
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:54,381
Now get out.
417
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,842
Boy, what got into you? Somebody
418
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,842
drop a house on your sister?
419
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,511
[laughs]
420
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:05,225
[imitating cowardly lion]
421
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:05,225
R-r-r-ruff! R-r-r-ruff!
422
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,310
Ha-ha ha-ha!
423
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:13,149
Hey, lady, uh..
424
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:15,902
Do what you want with me,
425
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:15,902
but don't hurt the children.
426
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:17,987
But...please, do what
427
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:17,987
you want with me.
428
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,453
Uh, now listen, my-my niece
429
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,453
ran out of the house
430
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,163
without eating breakfast, so I
431
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,456
I brought her this,
432
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,456
uh, breakfast burrito.
433
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,832
No. We can't have food here.
434
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,832
You have to--
435
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:30,958
You don't understand,
436
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:30,958
I gotta give her
437
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,043
this breakfast burrito, lady.
438
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,503
I mean, this is my niece.
439
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,171
You know, I was there
440
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,171
the day she was born.
441
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,465
And believe me, she was
442
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,465
a beautiful, beautiful baby.
443
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,800
I mean, I remember rocking
444
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,800
her in my arms
445
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,928
and she's looking up at me
446
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,928
with those big beautiful eyes.
447
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,971
And so I beg of you
448
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,971
by all that's good
449
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,515
and all that is perfect
450
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,515
in this world--
451
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:47,642
Uncle Jesse, really,
452
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:47,642
I'm not that hungry.
453
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,437
Pipe down. I'm on a roll.
454
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,437
If I could just--
455
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,813
Fine, give her the burrito.
456
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,023
Thank you.
457
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,193
Here you go, Deej.
458
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,193
Tch tch.
459
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,039
Where is that
460
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,039
attractive hoodlum?
461
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:14,335
[Jesse over radio]
462
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:14,335
'Tch tch tch. Testing.
463
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:14,335
1-2-3. Testing.'
464
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,462
'D.J., can you hear me?'
465
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,632
'It's me.'
466
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,974
'Listen, I got
467
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,974
the answer book'
468
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,184
'and I'm going to help you.'
469
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,938
'The answer
470
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,938
to number one is...B.'
471
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,316
I heard that. Close your
472
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,316
booklet. You're outta here.
473
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,984
I-I had nothing
474
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,984
to do with it!
475
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,778
I don't even like
476
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,778
breakfast burritos!
477
00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:41,988
I'm more of a waffle person.
478
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,532
Not you! I heard
479
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,532
a man's voice.
480
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,534
You!
481
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,745
[squeaking]
482
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,745
I don't have a man's voice.
483
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:50,955
Cheater!
484
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,081
You're history!
485
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,874
Oh, my mother's
486
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,874
gonna kill me!
487
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,003
Too bad. You can forget
488
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,003
about college, squeaky.
489
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:03,551
(Jesse)
490
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:03,551
'The answer
491
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:03,551
to number two is..'
492
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,219
'...D.'
493
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,596
(Joey)
494
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,596
'Jess, you're cheating.'
495
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,723
'I knew it, it starts with
496
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,723
a stolen stamp'
497
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,225
'and it comes to this.'
498
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,935
(Jesse)
499
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,935
'Look, you-you idiot,
500
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,935
I-I'm not cheating'
501
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,771
'I'm-I'm
502
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,771
giving her hints.'
503
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,649
'D.J., hint on
504
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,649
number three..'
505
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,526
'...A'
506
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,568
(Joey)
507
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,568
'Now, that's cheating.'
508
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,695
(Jesse)
509
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,695
'It-it's hinting.'
510
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,154
- 'Cheating.'
511
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,154
- 'Hinting.'
512
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,947
- 'Cheating.'
513
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,947
- 'Hinting.'
514
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,574
- 'Cheating.'
515
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,574
- 'Hinting.'
516
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,493
[muffled]
517
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,493
'Well, cheating.'
518
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,661
[muffled]
519
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,661
'Hinting.'
520
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,120
- 'Cheating.'
521
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,120
- 'Hinting.'
522
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:33,665
- 'Hinting.'
523
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:33,665
- 'Cheating.'
524
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,334
Alright, everybody,
525
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,334
pen..
526
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,963
Pencils down.
527
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,883
Math section is over. We will
528
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,883
now start with section two.
529
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,301
Speed Latin.
530
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,346
Speed Latin?
531
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,348
I don't even know
532
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,348
slow Latin!
533
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,311
What is it now?
534
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,146
Bonjour!
535
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,357
I am Pierre
536
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,357
from ze maintenance.
537
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:03,778
I heard zere was, uh, trouble
538
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:03,778
with a wobbly chair.
539
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,573
Zere it eez!
540
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:10,076
I'll have it fixed before
541
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:10,076
you can say Chevrolet coupe.
542
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,372
Steph, what are you
543
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,372
doing here?
544
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,333
I'm here to help you.
545
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,333
I've got an ear for languages.
546
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,585
How's your Speed Latin?
547
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,294
Su carnivorus mortus.
548
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,547
- What does that mean?
549
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,547
- You're dead meat.
550
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,135
Okey-doke.
551
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,221
There you go.
552
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,600
Oh, that's much better.
553
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,853
Au revoir.
554
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,398
Dad?
555
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,816
Tch. Pierre.
556
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,861
"W-a-a-ake Up
557
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,861
San Francisco!"
558
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,946
- I'm Danny Tanner.
559
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,946
- I'm Rebecca Donaldson.
560
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,448
And I'm Gertrude Twitchel.
561
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,992
Dad, Aunt Becky,
562
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,992
what are you doing here?
563
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,286
Oh, sweetheart,
564
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,286
we're doing
565
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,162
a little cover story
566
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,162
on your SATs.
567
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,415
Live, up close,
568
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,415
and personal.
569
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,584
Don't, dad,
570
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,584
it's just a test!
571
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,210
Hee-hee.
572
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,210
Yeah, right.
573
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,088
So, D.J.,
574
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,088
how is it going?
575
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,841
Well, it's terrible.
576
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,841
It's a disaster!
577
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,093
Ooh, this could be
578
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,093
humiliating.
579
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,470
Let's watch!
580
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,432
Pencils down,
581
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,432
everyone. Time's up.
582
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,726
Time's up?
583
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,726
I haven't even started!
584
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,603
Stop bellyaching.
585
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,603
It's time to grade the tests.
586
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,146
Well, here? Now?
587
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,731
Yes, that's right,
588
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,731
and here to help us
589
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,400
is the queen of consonants,
590
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,400
the vixen of vowels
591
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:27,403
the very beautiful
592
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:27,403
and talented
593
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,988
Vanna White!
594
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:31,073
[all applauding]
595
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,327
["Wheel Of Fortune"
596
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,327
theme music]
597
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,875
[all applauding]
598
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,089
Miss White,
599
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,089
this is an honor.
600
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,883
There's something I've always
601
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,883
wanted to ask you.
602
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,760
Do you get paid
603
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,760
by the letter?
604
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,847
You know, when they buy a vowel,
605
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,847
that money goes to me.
606
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,141
Even the "y"?
607
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,476
Sometimes.
608
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,773
Okay, Kimmy, it's time
609
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,773
to grade that paper.
610
00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:06,025
[all applauding]
611
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:09,529
[machine beeping]
612
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,324
(Danny)
613
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,324
'A perfect score!'
614
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:19,706
Alright, Vanna, let's see what
615
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:19,706
Kimmy's future holds for her.
616
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:22,249
[instrumental music]
617
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:31,425
(all)
618
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:31,425
'"S-T-A'
619
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:34,053
"N-F
620
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:37,139
'O-R-D!"'
621
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,933
- "Stanford!"
622
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,933
- "Stanford!"
623
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,560
[all applauding]
624
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,313
Congratulations, Kimmy,
625
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,313
you've won
626
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,900
a full scholarship
627
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,900
to Stanford University!
628
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,359
[all cheering]
629
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,405
Is that ironic or what?
630
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,074
Well, now it's time to grade
631
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,074
D.J.'s paper.
632
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,117
I can't wait to see
633
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,117
what she got.
634
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,704
No! Really,
635
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,704
I don't want to!
636
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,831
Yes, you do.
637
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,831
Come on in, everybody.
638
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,332
It's time to grade
639
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,332
D.J.'s paper!
640
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:04,667
[all applauding]
641
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,170
(Danny)
642
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,170
'Is everybody ready
643
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,170
for the proudest moment'
644
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,296
of their lives?
645
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,798
- Yeah!
646
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,798
- Whoo!
647
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,675
No, dad! Uh-uh stop.
648
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,427
I-I can't believe
649
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,427
this is happening!
650
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:15,970
Uncle Jesse,
651
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:15,970
help me!
652
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,680
Oh, sure, Deej.
653
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,680
Listen, I'm there for..
654
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,306
By God, Vanna White.
655
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,306
Hi, Vanna.
656
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,892
- Hi.
657
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,892
- Nice to see you.
658
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,436
Let me just say I'm-I'm
659
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,436
a huge fan of your work.
660
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:26,230
In fact, your hair is the reason
661
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:26,230
why I got a large-screen TV.
662
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:27,899
Thank you.
663
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:29,358
If my hair's made
664
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:29,358
a difference
665
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:34,822
in one person's life,
666
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:34,822
it's all been worth it.
667
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,616
[whispering]
668
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,616
Vanna White!
669
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,451
Well, thanks, well,
670
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,451
let me just say
671
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,453
that you're
672
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,453
a national treasure.
673
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:41,579
Yeah, I know.
674
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,164
Alright, Deej.
675
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,625
Now it's time for the moment
676
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,625
you've been waiting
677
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,543
for your entire life.
678
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,131
[machine beeping]
679
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,011
(all)
680
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,011
'Oh!'
681
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,889
Oh, that's a shame, Deej.
682
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,889
You got every one wrong.
683
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,809
Ha! You're a disgrace
684
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,809
to the entire family.
685
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,144
'Let's see what's left
686
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,144
of your future, honey.'
687
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:08,856
(all)
688
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:08,856
"C-L-O
689
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:11,275
W-N.."
690
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,526
'...blank'
691
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:13,903
'"U"'
692
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:14,904
'blank.'
693
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:17,573
"Clown U."
694
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:21,869
Well, D.J., it looks like you're
695
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:21,869
going to Clown University.
696
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:24,163
(all)
697
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:24,163
'Oh!'
698
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,707
Hey, Deej.
699
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,707
Here you go.
700
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,626
That's a good look
701
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,626
for you.
702
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,920
[honk]
703
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,047
Hey, Comet, how'd you
704
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,047
like to have D.J.'s room?
705
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,966
Oh, boy!
706
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,966
Thanks, dad.
707
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,389
Steve, you still love me,
708
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,389
don't you?
709
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,891
Oh, of course I do, D.J..
710
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,393
Oh, come on, so what if you
711
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,393
screwed up the test?
712
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,146
At least you spelled
713
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,146
your name right.
714
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,897
Oh, not even close.
715
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,108
What?
716
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,108
I wrote D.J. Tanner.
717
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,276
Abbreviations are
718
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,276
strictly forbidden.
719
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,571
You missed your own name?
720
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:58,906
[whistles]
721
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:01,575
Stupid violation. Duh!
722
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,371
Shame, shame, D.J..
723
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,832
(all)
724
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,832
Shame, shame, D.J..
725
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,544
Oh, Steven, guess who got
726
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,544
a perfect score
727
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,753
and their name right.
728
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:15,297
Ohh, I love a girl
729
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:15,297
with brains!
730
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:19,426
No, no! Get off, get your hands
731
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:19,426
off of him!
732
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,596
No! No! Get your hands
733
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,596
off of him!
734
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,431
- Get away from him!
735
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,431
- Let's go, D.J..
736
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,893
No! No! No!
737
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,394
No, no!
738
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,730
- 'Let's go, D.J..'
739
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,730
- No! No.
740
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,648
- Let's go, D.J..
741
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,648
- No.
742
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,651
Yes, yes, yes. You don't wanna
743
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,651
be late for your test, honey.
744
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:39,405
Dad!
745
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:39,405
It was horrible..
746
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,823
[sighs]
747
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,617
Oh! There-there were
748
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,617
all kinds of changes!
749
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,036
I had the wrong pencils!
750
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,871
The burrito talked..
751
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,290
I hope this was a dream.
752
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,210
It was a nightmare.
753
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,169
Dad, you wouldn't believe it
754
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,921
I-I failed my SAT
755
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,173
and Kimmy got a perfect score!
756
00:20:57,215 --> 00:21:00,051
You're right,
757
00:20:57,215 --> 00:21:00,051
I wouldn't believe it.
758
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,635
Come on, honey.
759
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,635
We really have to go.
760
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,180
Dad, I can't.
761
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,180
I can't face this test.
762
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,350
Can you write me a note
763
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,350
to get me out of college?
764
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,563
D.J..
765
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,191
sweetheart, you really
766
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,191
have to get going.
767
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,693
It's a very important
768
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,693
day for you.
769
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,738
But you said it was no big deal,
770
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,738
it was just a test.
771
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:23,449
Yeah, I-I know I said that.
772
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,909
I, uh..
773
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,078
I guess, I just
774
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,078
didn't mean it.
775
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,371
Well, then why did you say it?
776
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,498
Because I didn't want
777
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,498
you to be nervous.
778
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:34,293
But that was making me
779
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:34,293
more nervous.
780
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,796
Okay, so I guess
781
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,796
it didn't work, then.
782
00:21:38,256 --> 00:21:39,548
No, not really.
783
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,342
I'm sorry, Deej, I..
784
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,762
I was just trying
785
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,762
to protect you.
786
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:48,015
I remember in high school when
787
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:48,015
I took my SATs, I was a wreck.
788
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:50,517
I did the first 12 questions
789
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:50,517
with an eraser.
790
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,188
So how did you do?
791
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,440
Not bad, once I turned
792
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,440
my pencil around.
793
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,028
So I guess I just
794
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,028
gotta face it, huh?
795
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,448
Honey, you've done
796
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,448
everything you could do.
797
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,492
You're prepared.
798
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,492
You studied really hard.
799
00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:08,744
Everybody
800
00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:08,744
believes in you.
801
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,621
I think what you have to do now
802
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,621
is just, you know
803
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:13,666
believe in yourself
804
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:13,666
and do the best you can do.
805
00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:16,543
Thanks, dad.
806
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,221
[footsteps approaching]
807
00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:29,974
This isn't happening.
808
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,644
Good morning.
809
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,644
My name is Mrs. Moffatt.
810
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,771
And I'll be administering
811
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,771
this test.
812
00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:38,732
To begin, write your name
813
00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:38,732
on your answer sheet.
814
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:42,987
I'm drawing a blank.
815
00:22:45,363 --> 00:22:48,534
Excuse me, are number two
816
00:22:45,363 --> 00:22:48,534
pencils okay?
817
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:50,828
I'm sorry.
818
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:50,828
We're using number fours.
819
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:53,789
What?
820
00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:55,208
I'm kidding!
821
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,796
Relax. It's just a test.
822
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:05,134
[instrumental music]
823
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:14,768
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
824
00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:18,438
[instrumental music]
825
00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:36,749
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪