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[instrumental music]
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Steph.
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What's a vowel?
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Anything that's not
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a consonant.
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D.J.
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what's a consonant?
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Anything that's not a vowel.
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I think it's time for me
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to work on my math.
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Hey, Steph, can I use
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your calculator?
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Hey, take a hike, toots.
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A simple "No"
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would have been fine.
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[whistles]
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I'm a pretty bird,
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and you're not.
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Wow.
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What a beautiful parrot.
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He must be lost.
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[barking]
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Easy, Comet.
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Don't scare the bird.
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[barking]
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[squawking]
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[whimpering]
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I think the bird
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is safe for now.
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[theme music]
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♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Ah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman the paper boy ♪
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♪ Evenin' TV ♪
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♪ Ah ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look
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everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look
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everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face
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of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there
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and you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Shooby-do-ba-botta ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Oh, I'll tell you the worst
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comedy club I ever played.
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The Giggle Barn.
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Fort Dodge, Iowa
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I played it.
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Hey, did the dancing
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chicken open for you?
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[chuckles]
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Yep, the chicken killed,
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I laid the egg.
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So, you ready to
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meet the family?
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I've told 'em
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everything about you.
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Uh-oh.
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What exactly
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did you tell them?
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Well, nothing bad.
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Just that we've
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been goin' out
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for a couple of weeks
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and that you're
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the funniest person
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they'll ever meet in
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their whole entire lives.
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[sighs]
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You told them
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that I'm funny?
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That was what
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I was afraid of.
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Well, you are funny.
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What's wrong with that?
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Well, yeah, to you
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and to my friends
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and on stage.
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But whenever
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I'm around new people
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and they expect me
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to be funny
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I get all flustered
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and nervous. I clam up.
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I sweat in places I didn't
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even know had glands.
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[chuckles]
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Glands see?
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Glands are funny.
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Just relax, okay?
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Gosh, I can't believe the
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chicken was funnier than you.
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You're such a goofball.
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[imitates Cowardly Lion]
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Aw, shucks. Ha-ha.
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Put 'em up,
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put 'em up.
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Oh, look at this.
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Oh, man, you guys are
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doing such a good job
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with the laundry, I have a
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little surprise for you.
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I'm gonna let you help me shelf
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paper the shelf paper shelf.
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Ho ho ho ho!
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Oh, you're in for fun.
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Oh, Roxy, uh, this is my
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best pal in the whole world
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and Mildew's number one enemy,
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Danny Tanner.
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Danny, Roxy.
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Roxy, Danny.
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Nice to meet you, Danny.
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Oh, it's, uh-it's, uh..
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Wait one sec here.
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There we are. It's really,
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really nice to meet you.
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Joey has just been
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telling all of us that
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you're the funniest
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woman in the world.
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Well, you know how
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wacky Joey is.
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No, uh...
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how wacky is he?
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Well, he's..
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...just incredibly wacky.
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That's, uh,
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that's pretty wacky.
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So, are you hungry?
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I got three kinds of tuna.
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Thanks.
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See? I told you Joey,
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I was so nervous
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I couldn't think
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of anything funny.
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Oh, don't worry about it.
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You'll get him next time.
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Just how long are
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you gonna wear
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that thing on your head?
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Till the hot oil treatment
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reaches full scalp
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saturation.
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It says right here.
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You look like
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a pan of jiffy pop.
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Uh, Beck, Mr. Baked potato head,
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this is Roxy.
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Uh, Mr. Baked potato head?
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- What?
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- Roxy.
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Oh, hi. I had company
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I didn't even..
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I didn't even know.
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Uh-uh, I guess I should
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explain the, uh, thing.
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Uh...my, uh, my-my
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hairdresser, Alejandro
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uh, he found a-a couple
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of split ends.
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It's a terrible thing.
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So, he figures
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we can fix this
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with about six hours
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of hot oil treatment
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and a lot of words
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of encouragement.
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And if you could, uh, swing by
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the church on the way home
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and light a candle for my hair
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that wouldn't hurt either.
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Well, Roxy, it's so nice
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to finally meet you.
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Joey keeps telling us
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how funny you are.
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Really? I'll have to
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thank him later.
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So, uh, how did you
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get started in comedy?
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Well, I don't know.
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I guess I just come
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from a funny family.
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Really?
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How funny were they?
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Well, um..
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...they were
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so funny that..
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...we laughed regularly.
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[chuckles]
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Really?
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Well, you know,
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that's good.
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You know, when it comes
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to laughing
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it's good to be regular.
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I got a funny hat..
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...like daddy.
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Hey, boys, boys, boys.
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We have a guest.
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It's-It's not polite to wear
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underwear on your head.
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Look at your head.
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Uh, well, okay,
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foil's acceptable.
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Boys, hand over
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the BVD berets.
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(together)
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No.
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Come back here.
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'I'm going to get you.'
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(Danny)
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'Hey, uh...girls.'
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First, I'd like to introduce
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you to Joey's friend Roxy.
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- Hi.
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- Hi.
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And now I'd like to ask you
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why do you have a parrot
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on your shoulder?
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He flew right
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in the window.
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He must be lost.
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Buy now, pay later.
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[whistles]
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Buy now, pay later.
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Hey, I know this bird.
241
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That's Little Sid from
242
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Big Sid's electronics barn.
243
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He does all
244
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those commercials.
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I'll bet you Big Sid's
246
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offering a big reward for him.
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Cool.
248
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I could use some mall money.
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Or me.
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I saw him first.
251
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He pooped on my bed.
252
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[indistinct arguing]
253
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G-girls, girls, girls.
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We have company.
255
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Oh, excuse us.
256
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We're really glad to meet you.
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Joey told us how
258
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funny you are.
259
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:34,579
Yeah, he's been
260
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spreading the word.
261
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Could you tell us a joke?
262
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Well, let me see, um--
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I have one.
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Say, "Knock, Knock."
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Knock, knock.
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Who's there?
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Oh, I'm supposed to
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do the funny part.
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Oh, I'm supposed to
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do the funny part who?
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Gee, will you
272
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look at the time?
273
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Um, I've got an audition.
274
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I don't wanna be late.
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I don't get it.
276
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I'll-I'll walk you out.
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Oh, that's okay.
278
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That's okay.
279
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Okay.
280
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Good luck.
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Have a great audition.
282
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,194
Just don't use that
283
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"Knock, knock" joke.
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Bye.
285
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- Bye, Roxy.
286
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- 'Bye.'
287
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Oh, you guys, I know
288
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she wasn't funny just now
289
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but she was really nervous
290
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about meeting all of you.
291
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Oh, no, Joey,
292
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everything is okay.
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She seemed really nice.
294
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,249
Yeah, she seemed very nice.
295
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,500
Yeah but you can't
296
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,500
really know her
297
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,043
until you see
298
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,043
how funny she is.
299
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,254
You guys have to see her
300
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,254
in her element.
301
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,756
Uh, Sunday night is comedy night
302
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,756
at The Smash Club.
303
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,967
Why don't you guys come
304
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,967
and watch her act?
305
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,760
Uh-oh, okay. You know,
306
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,760
we'll make a night of it.
307
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:31,886
Great.
308
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,180
- Yeah, it'll be fun.
309
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,180
- Cool.
310
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,390
Give me a cracker,
311
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,390
fat head.
312
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,891
[squawking]
313
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,769
Yeah and why don't we leave
314
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,769
Little Sid at home?
315
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,272
[laughing]
316
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,362
So, I'll need the two-hour
317
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,362
dust buster battery.
318
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,488
Thanks.
319
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:51,698
- Hey, dad.
320
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:51,698
- 'Hey.'
321
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,200
- Hi, dad.
322
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,200
- Hey.
323
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,742
So, how did it go?
324
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,286
Two Sid's have a happy reunion?
325
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,997
Oh, you should've seen
326
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,997
the flapping and squawking.
327
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,416
Yeah. And the bird was
328
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,416
pretty excited, too.
329
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,252
Yeah, and we got
330
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,252
a great reward.
331
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,420
Big Sid said we could
332
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,420
get one thing
333
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,088
from his catalog.
334
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,716
So, obviously, we're gonna go
335
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,716
for the big screen TV.
336
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,426
Not so obviously.
337
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,635
We already have a TV.
338
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,888
What we need is
339
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,888
a karaoke machine.
340
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,140
I always wanted
341
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,140
one of those.
342
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,476
What is it?
343
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,812
Well, a karaoke machine
344
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,812
plays music
345
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,190
and shows you the words
346
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,190
so you can sing along.
347
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,275
I knew it sounded cool.
348
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,152
No, what sounds cool
349
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:32,864
is "55 inches of
350
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:32,864
pure viewing pleasure."
351
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,157
What do you think, Steve?
352
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,783
Well, you know,
353
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,783
those karaoke machines
354
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,077
are a lot of fun.
355
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,206
Of course, nothing
356
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,206
can possibly beat
357
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,791
the thrill of watching
358
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,791
Willard Scott
359
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,420
bigger than life
360
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,420
right in your own living room.
361
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,049
I'm just gonna flip through
362
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,049
the catalog right over here.
363
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,095
Okay, I want
364
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,095
the big screen TV
365
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,305
and you want
366
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,305
the karaoke machine.
367
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,973
Let's decide this fairly.
368
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,017
I'm older. TV.
369
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,017
Case closed.
370
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,104
You can't do that.
371
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,104
Dad, can she do that?
372
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,146
She can't do that.
373
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,899
Dad says
374
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,899
you can't do that.
375
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,650
Okay Michelle, sweetie,
376
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,650
it's up to you.
377
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,194
You have the
378
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,194
deciding vote here.
379
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,695
- Michelle?
380
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,695
- Michelle?
381
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,781
Yeah, the little blonde
382
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,781
that lives upstairs?
383
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,326
That would be me.
384
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,047
Kimmy, you got table six.
385
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,966
No way.
386
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,966
I don't want those losers.
387
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,385
They complain,
388
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,385
they're horrible tippers.
389
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,471
And they treat me
390
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,471
like a slave girl.
391
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:38,638
Fine, I'll take 'em.
392
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,350
Hi.
393
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,350
What can I get you?
394
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,396
Oh.
395
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,231
I hope your family
396
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,231
likes me tonight.
397
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,066
I worked them
398
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,066
into the act.
399
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,068
That is so great.
400
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,068
They're gonna love that.
401
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:57,907
Okay, enough of that.
402
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:57,907
Enough of that.
403
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:58,950
You ready?
404
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,410
Well, it's now or never.
405
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,370
Actually, it's-it's now.
406
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,123
Hey, boss man,
407
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,123
we're out of napkins.
408
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,916
Oh, well, alright,
409
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,916
I'll take care of it.
410
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,543
Run along, Kimmy.
411
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,543
Get lost.
412
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,004
Okay, thanks for the pep talk.
413
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,004
You're a real motivator.
414
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,929
Thank you.
415
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,929
Thank you.
416
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,765
Welcome to comedy night
417
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,765
here at The Smash Club.
418
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,392
Uh, now I have
419
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,392
an announcement to make.
420
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,521
In our ongoing effort to
421
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,521
preserve the environment
422
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,564
uh, we're doing away
423
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,564
with all paper napkins.
424
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,651
It's "Use your sleeve night"
425
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,651
here at The Smash Club.
426
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,654
Okay, thanks.
427
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:37,572
Now, uh, now up
428
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,241
is-is a very funny
429
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,241
and talented young lady.
430
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,536
Let's give a big hand
431
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,536
for Roxy Mardin.
432
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,250
Well, thank you.
433
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,250
Thank you.
434
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,169
Well, I'm in a great
435
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,169
mood tonight
436
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,004
'cause I'm in a
437
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,004
new relationship.
438
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,507
Hi, Joey.
439
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,425
You know, my friends
440
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,425
always ask me
441
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,843
"How can you
442
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,843
go out with a guy
443
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,761
who's so obsessed
444
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,761
with cartoons?"
445
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,347
I say, "Hey, there's
446
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,347
more to Joey
447
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,432
"than silly voices
448
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,432
and impressions
449
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,184
there's also rude noises."
450
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,771
He brought the family
451
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,771
down tonight.
452
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:11,898
Guys, guys, take a bow.
453
00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:13,858
Stand up, take a bow.
454
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,279
I'm sure you recognize
455
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,279
Danny Tanner
456
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:21,282
and Rebecca Donaldson from
457
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:21,282
"Wake up, San Francisco."
458
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,704
I've seen that show.
459
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,788
Go back to bed,
460
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,788
San Francisco.
461
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,999
[audience laughing]
462
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,043
Oh, unfortunately,
463
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,043
when you meet them in person
464
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,420
there's no mute button.
465
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:37,756
Danny has three daughters
466
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,384
D.J., Stephanie,
467
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,384
and Michelle.
468
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,428
And you know, they have fights
469
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,428
that most sisters have.
470
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,471
You know, eye gouging,
471
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,471
hair pulling
472
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,806
an occasional ball-peen
473
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,806
hammer to the head.
474
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,311
They're like the three stooges
475
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,311
in panty hose.
476
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,063
[audience laughing]
477
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,481
[chuckles]
478
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,903
Michelle, that's not funny.
479
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,488
She's making us
480
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,488
look like dorks.
481
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:03,782
The nerve.
482
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,203
And what can I say about Jesse?
483
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,829
He has great hair.
484
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,666
He also has enough oil
485
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,666
on his head to join OPEC.
486
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,671
You know the spill last summer?
487
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,923
That was Jesse
488
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,923
rinsing out his comb.
489
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,008
[audience laughing]
490
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,725
Hey, I told you guys
491
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,725
she's funny.
492
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:29,892
She's killing up there.
493
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,107
And you're not laughing.
494
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,735
No, we're not.
495
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,654
But thanks for
496
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,654
inviting us, Joey.
497
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:41,946
What do you have planned
498
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:41,946
for us next?
499
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,615
The beating
500
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,615
in the parking lot?
501
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,410
[audience cheering]
502
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,038
Whoa, thank you,
503
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,038
thank you.
504
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,714
[instrumental music]
505
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:03,009
Okay, boys, you ready?
506
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,178
We're gonna make animals
507
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,178
out of this Play-Doh, okay.
508
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,888
Here's your animal.
509
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,888
There you go.
510
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,432
Where's Toey?
511
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,394
Well, honey,
512
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,394
Joey has a new friend
513
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:16,022
and he's been spending
514
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:16,022
a lot of time with her.
515
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,817
We want Toey!
516
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,817
We want Toey!
517
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,360
We want Toey!
518
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,737
- We want Toey!
519
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,737
- We want Toey!
520
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,030
Alright, okay.
521
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,740
Alright, boys, I know.
522
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,740
I know, I know.
523
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,367
You like making
524
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,367
animals with Joey
525
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,202
because he makes all
526
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,202
the funny noises.
527
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,788
But hey, your old man's
528
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,788
been known
529
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,582
to make a few funny noises
530
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,582
in his time.
531
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,834
Did you know that?
532
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,084
Alright, you guys,
533
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,084
give me an animal.
534
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,336
Jus-jus-just give
535
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,336
me any animal
536
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,587
right off the top
537
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,587
of your head.
538
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:40,755
Go ahead, shoot.
539
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,507
Hippopotamus.
540
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,804
Okay, alright.
541
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,804
I-I'll..
542
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,597
I'll try to
543
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,597
doing a hippopotamus.
544
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,766
[clearing throat]
545
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,268
Hey..
546
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,688
I'm a big, fat,
547
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,688
muddy hippopotamus.
548
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,274
-We want Toey!
549
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,274
-We want Toey!
550
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,776
- We want Toey!
551
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,776
- We want Toey!
552
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:05,029
- We want Toey!
553
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:05,029
- We want Toey!
554
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,323
- We want Toey!
555
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,323
- We want Toey!
556
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,992
- Yay!
557
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,992
- Yay!
558
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,079
Oh, Joey, thank goodness
559
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,079
you're here.
560
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,789
We really could
561
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,789
use your help.
562
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,625
Jesse's hippo
563
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,625
is kind of lame-o.
564
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,922
I'll play with
565
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,922
you guys later.
566
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,257
Well, it took a
567
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,257
couple of days
568
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,175
but I see you got
569
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,175
your sense of humor back.
570
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,261
Come on, Joey.
571
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,722
Roxy , uh, she ambushed us
572
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,722
up there on that stage.
573
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,348
Right, Danny?
574
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:35,393
Uh, I wouldn't say ambush
575
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:35,393
so much as bushwhacked.
576
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,145
Come on, Danny.
577
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,481
Ah, sorry. Maybe I'll just
578
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,481
press my mute button.
579
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,526
You guys don't understand.
580
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,278
When a comic makes a
581
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,278
joke about you
582
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:47,405
it's the highest compliment.
583
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,699
Well, Joey, she really
584
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,699
embarrassed us.
585
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,326
And we didn't think
586
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,326
it was funny.
587
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,870
Well, if you don't
588
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,870
think she's funny
589
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,247
that's the same as saying
590
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,247
you don't like her.
591
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,707
Is that what you guys
592
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,707
are saying?
593
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:00,752
(Joey)
594
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:00,752
'Alright, fine.'
595
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,295
No, I get it.
596
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,547
Well, I don't know
597
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,547
how to tell you guys this
598
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:05,965
but if you don't
599
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:05,965
wanna be around her
600
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:07,508
you're not gonna
601
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:07,508
be around me.
602
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,554
Joey. Joey.
603
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,434
Alright, maybe, maybe we
604
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,434
were oversensitive
605
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,812
about a couple
606
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,812
of points.
607
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,775
Yeah, maybe Roxy shouldn't have
608
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,775
made fun of the girls.
609
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,568
I was talking
610
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,568
about my hair.
611
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,072
Joey, if Roxy's
612
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,072
important to you
613
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,741
she's important to us.
614
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:34,118
Yeah. You know what, buddy,
615
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:34,118
let's give it another shot.
616
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,995
What do you say we invite her
617
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,995
over for dinner tonight, huh?
618
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,956
- It's a good idea.
619
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,956
- Yeah.
620
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,249
- You sure?
621
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,249
- Absolutely.
622
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,794
[imitates Ren]
623
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,794
Oh, Stimpy, you couldn't
624
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,794
make me happier
625
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,087
if you spanked me
626
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,087
with a big, wet waffle.
627
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,591
Ahh.
628
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,471
Well, this should be
629
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,471
interesting.
630
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,181
Roxy's coming over
631
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,181
for dinner.
632
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,016
What the heck are
633
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,016
we gonna make for her?
634
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:58,434
Anything but..
635
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,520
[imitates Ren]
636
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,520
...big, wet waffles.
637
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,401
Hey, what are
638
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,401
you watching?
639
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,695
Cartoons.
640
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,906
Oh, yeah, it is.
641
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,533
Yeah, everything
642
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,533
looks so small
643
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,160
I thought it was a commercial
644
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,160
for an ant farm.
645
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:22,458
Imagine having
646
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:22,458
a big screen TV.
647
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,585
You know, you could
648
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,585
watch "Tiny Toons"
649
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,754
and everything
650
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,754
wouldn't look so tiny.
651
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,967
What are you doing?
652
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,719
Just talking
653
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,719
to my sister.
654
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,721
I know what you're up to.
655
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,014
You're trying to
656
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,014
talk Michelle
657
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,682
into the big screen TV.
658
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,225
So what if I am?
659
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:41,853
You're working on her
660
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:41,853
day and night.
661
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,396
Yeah right, like
662
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,396
I'm sitting there
663
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,648
at 3:00 in the morning
664
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,648
whispering in her ear
665
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,067
"Karaoke machine,
666
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,067
karaoke machine."
667
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:50,152
That was you.
668
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,656
Big screen.
669
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:54,866
- Karaoke.
670
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:54,866
- Big screen.
671
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,200
- Karaoke.
672
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,200
- Big screen.
673
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,452
Dad! Please!
674
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,955
Help! Help!
675
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,955
Please!
676
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,206
What's the matter, honey?
677
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,417
Make the voices stop!
678
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,255
Alright,
679
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,255
D.J., Stephanie
680
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,382
move away from your sister.
681
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,300
Okay, sweetheart, we're gonna
682
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,300
settle this once and for all.
683
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,053
I'm taking you down
684
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,053
to Big Sid's
685
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,638
and you and you alone are
686
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,638
gonna make the decision, okay?
687
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,265
Dad, that's not fair.
688
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,265
You can't just have--
689
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:22,393
Without Siskel and Ebert
690
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:22,393
screaming in your ear.
691
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,478
Okay, quick. Get in the car.
692
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,478
Go, go, go, go.
693
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,939
But, dad--
694
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,774
Uh, Not another word.
695
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,774
Get in the car, Michelle.
696
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:28,900
I'm coming.
697
00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,028
- Karaoke.
698
00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,028
- Big screen.
699
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,947
- Karaoke.
700
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,947
- Big screen.
701
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,197
Get the karaoke machine!
702
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,657
Big screen,
703
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,657
Big screen TV
704
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:43,790
D.J., Stephanie, we're back.
705
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:44,916
Did you get
706
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:44,916
the big screen?
707
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:45,917
Karaoke?
708
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,209
Nope.
709
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,218
Well..
710
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,512
...Michelle finally found
711
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,512
something that she liked.
712
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,060
- That's it?
713
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,060
- Pretty cool, huh?
714
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,021
What were you thinkin'?
715
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:10,441
I decided this is something
716
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:10,441
we can all enjoy.
717
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,821
I'm sorry, girls.
718
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,821
It was Michelle's decision.
719
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:17,156
Personally, I-I lobbied
720
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:17,156
for the washer-dryer.
721
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:22,578
This way we could always
722
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:22,578
remember Little Sid.
723
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,455
Big Sid's kind of cute, too.
724
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,375
- Hey.
725
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,375
- Hey.
726
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,543
What's Big Sid doin' here?
727
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,087
He lives here now.
728
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,506
Well, I guess we could
729
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,506
prop it up in the window
730
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,675
and scare the heck out of
731
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,675
the Amway lady.
732
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:36,801
[car door closing]
733
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,095
Okay, that would be
734
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,095
Joey and Roxy.
735
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,514
Now guys, we wanna be
736
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,514
really nice to her, okay.
737
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,265
But, dad, she insulted us.
738
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,934
I know that, but Joey
739
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,934
really cares about her.
740
00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:46,560
We gotta give her
741
00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:46,560
a second chance, okay.
742
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,937
Let's just be
743
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,937
good sports
744
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,647
and show her somehow that
745
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,647
we really like her.
746
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,649
How do we do that?
747
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,819
Well, I guess
748
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,819
a good way would be
749
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,112
to laugh at
750
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,112
all of her jokes.
751
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:57,864
What if they're
752
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:57,864
not funny?
753
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,240
Laugh anyway.
754
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,201
No, your dad's right.
755
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,201
If we wanna keep Joey
756
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,327
we're gonna have to laugh
757
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,745
like we've never
758
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,745
laughed before.
759
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:07,040
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
760
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,002
What was that?
761
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,462
I never laughed
762
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,462
like that before.
763
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,428
Why are we doing this?
764
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,428
They don't like me.
765
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,431
Oh, no. They just don't
766
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,431
know you like I know you.
767
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,017
You gotta give 'em
768
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,017
another chance.
769
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,311
I just don't wanna bomb
770
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,311
with your family again.
771
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,772
Well, then this time..
772
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:32,940
...don't worry
773
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:32,940
about being funny.
774
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,274
Just be open and honest
775
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,985
and everything will
776
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,985
work out just fine.
777
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:37,028
Are you sure?
778
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,113
Of course, I'm sure.
779
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,573
Well, then again,
780
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,573
I was sure
781
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,658
that the Chicken McLiver
782
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,658
was gonna take off.
783
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:49,207
Alright, my famous
784
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:49,207
fried chicken. Mmm.
785
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,791
(Jesse)
786
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,791
'That looks good for us.'
787
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,876
Oh, everybody,
788
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,876
look who's here.
789
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,293
- Hi.
790
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,293
- Hi.
791
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,088
Hey, Roxy.
792
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,088
I hope you like chicken.
793
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,423
Oh, I'm a big chicken person.
794
00:20:57,464 --> 00:21:00,009
[laughing]
795
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:01,510
Big chicken person.
796
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:03,429
You-you're quick, young lady.
797
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:03,429
You really are.
798
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,474
Well, I'm glad you guys
799
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,474
are still talkin' to me
800
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,894
after what happened
801
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,894
the other night at the club.
802
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,479
I forget sometimes that
803
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,479
a joke can hurt as much as
804
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,899
slamming your finger
805
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,899
in a car door.
806
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:15,983
[laughing]
807
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:17,235
Car door.
808
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,238
That is funny, funny stuff.
809
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,868
I think what Roxy's
810
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,868
trying to say is
811
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,912
that she would never say
812
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,912
anything to hurt anyone
813
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:29,747
because she knows
814
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:29,747
how it feels.
815
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,831
It's true.
816
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:32,041
When I was a little girl
817
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,500
people used to make
818
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,500
fun of my voice.
819
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,378
Other kids used to
820
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,378
call me "Squeaky."
821
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,838
[laughing]
822
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,049
Oh, squeaky. I have to
823
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,049
remember that one.
824
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,343
What is wrong
825
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,343
with you guys?
826
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,472
Nothing. We're just
827
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,472
laughing at squeaky's jokes.
828
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:51,060
Roxy's not
829
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:51,060
trying to tell jokes.
830
00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:53,437
She's trying to be
831
00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:53,437
open and honest with you.
832
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,273
I'm sorry.
833
00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,108
We thought that
834
00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,108
you were being funny.
835
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:59,944
We were just trying to
836
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:59,944
show you that we like you.
837
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:02,155
By laughing at her?
838
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:04,157
Oh, Joey you made it seem
839
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:04,157
like the only way
840
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,574
to show Roxy
841
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,574
that we like her
842
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,994
was to laugh at her jokes.
843
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:11,205
But Joey, you told me
844
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:11,205
not to tell any jokes.
845
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:13,373
Roxy, I'm sorry.
846
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,875
When I told you
847
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,875
not to be funny
848
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,877
and to be
849
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,877
open and honest, I..
850
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:19,046
Well, I thought it would
851
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:19,046
take the pressure off you
852
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:20,673
so that you
853
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:20,673
could be funny.
854
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:24,343
Joey, what's the big deal
855
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:24,343
about being funny?
856
00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:25,761
Well, you guys know
857
00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:25,761
when I was a kid
858
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,221
I moved around a lot.
859
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:30,183
And that was my way to
860
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:30,183
get people to like me.
861
00:22:30,224 --> 00:22:33,477
Joey, if you never
862
00:22:30,224 --> 00:22:33,477
did your Bullwinkle
863
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:35,021
or gargled your Kool-Aid
864
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,648
or said another
865
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,648
funny thing your whole life
866
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,692
we would still love you.
867
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,278
- That's right, buddy.
868
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,278
- 'Yeah, Joey.'
869
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,238
Well, thanks, guys.
870
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,990
Well, I haven't said
871
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,990
a funny thing all night.
872
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,284
You guys must be
873
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,284
crazy about me.
874
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:52,246
I'll tell you what?
875
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:52,246
Why don't we start over again?
876
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,790
Roxy, these are the guys.
877
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,790
Guys, Roxy.
878
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:56,834
- Roxy, nice to meet you.
879
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:56,834
- Hey, Roxy.
880
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:59,419
Joey's told us absolutely
881
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:59,419
nothing about you.
882
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,963
Great.
883
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:02,298
Have some fried food.
884
00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:05,885
No making out at
885
00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:05,885
the dinner table.
886
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,553
Okay. Alright.
887
00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:11,765
[instrumental music]
888
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,394
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
889
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:19,106
[theme music]
890
00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:38,959
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
891
00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:42,171
♪ Shooby-do-ba-botta ♪♪