[instrumental music]
Simon says, "dance like you
have ants in your pants."
Simon says "stop."
Sit on the floor.
Boys, stand up.
I never said "Simon says."
Who's a Simon?
He's bossy.
You can only move
when Simon says.
It's the rules.
Okey-dokey.
Alright, gang,
ice cream time.
Get it while it's cold.
- 'Let's go.'
- Can't do it.
Why?
It's the rules.
What is that?
Uncle Jesse, they just learned
how to play "Simon says."
Oh. Simon says.
Alright.
Simon says...time for ice cream.
- Yay!
Come on. Come on.
Go get it.
I got to remember that
at bath time.
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paper boy
evenin' TV ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
Hey, "T-bag," meet my new
boyfriend, Keanu.
Hey, nice to meet you.
Uh..
...actually,
my name is John.
Kimmy just likes
calling me "Keanu."
Actually,
my name is Danny.
Kimmy just can't
remember it.
I still can't get over
that movie.
See, now that I'm taking
this film class
I can appreciate all the,
all the symbolism, you know
all the metaphor,
the subtext.
Steve, we saw
"Ernest Gets A Bee Bite."
You two actually
watched the movie?
Kimmy, a relationship
isn't just making out.
Oh, my God.
You're serious.
Come on. Let's get out of here
before we get boring.
- Boring.
- That is so far off.
So, you wanna watch TV?
Hey, I got the remote tonight.
No, Deej, come on.
Forget about the TV, okay?
I got to talk to you
about something.
My film class is
going down to L.A.
for a special seminar next week.
Next week?
Well, that's my school vacation.
I thought we'd be together.
I know, I know,
I feel terrible
but my professor picked me
and five other people
out of the whole class.
She says I have
a critical eye.
I guess that's because whenever
she shows a film
I'm always the first to yell,
"hey, focus!"
You're not laughing.
Alright, I'll stay.
No. Go.
I-it's a good
opportunity for you.
Thanks, Deej.
You're the best.
What is going on here?
Why is everyone so tired?
I'd ask Nicky and Alex
but...I don't wanna wake 'em.
Hey, uh, where the heck's
the newspaper at?
I checked all
the usual places
the hedge,
under the car
Gibbler's coffee table.
[with brogue]
Oh, top o' the mornin' to ya.
Where's me lucky charms?
Hey, you guys won't
believe this.
I was driving
to the health club
and according to the radio
it's five o'clock
in the morning.
It's not five o'clock in the
morning. It's...eight o'clock.
Look.
Ha ha ha ha!
April fools!
Morning breath.
- It isn't even April yet.
- I know.
But every year when I try
and catch you guys
with an April fools
joke, you expect it.
This, however,
was brilliant.
You were totally surprised.
I changed every watch
and clock in the house.
I knew it was too early.
When I woke up, I didn't even
need to go to the bathroom.
Joey, I think I speak for
everyone in the house
when I say to you, "pack your
bags, you're moving out."
[in unison]
Get out.
Yeah.
Yeah, Joey.
Come on, you guys.
It was a joke.
Isn't anybody gonna
be a good sport?
Forget it. You're going down,
Gladstone.
This was absolutely
ridiculous.
But you know what, everybody?
Look on the bright side.
We get a couple hours
of extra sleep.
See ya.
Top o' the day
to ya. Ha ha!
I'll get the kids.
- Good morning.
Time for breakfast.
No, it's not time
for breakfast.
Now, listen, there's been
a little mix-up here
and we're gonna get
couple of more hours
of sleep this morning, fellas.
- No sleep.
Yes, sleep.
- No sleep.
I think I'll put 'em
in Joey's bed.
- No sleep.
Yes, sleep.
- 'Yes, sleep.'
- 'No sleep.'
Hey, Deej, aren't you
going back to bed?
No. I don't think I can sleep.
What's the problem?
It's me and Steve.
I mean, you should see
Kimmy and Keanu.
You have to pry 'em apart
with the jaws of life.
Steve and I
used to be like that.
We never wanted
to be apart for a minute.
Well, you know, it's normal
for a relationship
to go through stages.
I mean, the first stage
is always hot
because it's new.
And when it's not so new?
Well..
...then you have to find out
if you have more going on
than just the initial
attraction.
You'll find out if
you have the same interests.
Yeah, but you and Uncle Jesse
have been together forever
and you're still hot
for each other.
That's one of our interests.
Deej, Come on.
It's gonna be a great party.
I can't. Steve's gonna
call from L.A.
Besides, I would feel
weird by myself.
You won't be by yourself.
You'll be with us.
You'll be making out
all night.
Well, we'll need
a spotter.
I'll pass.
Then at least come
with us tomorrow.
Yeah. We're gonna climb
Eagle Mountain.
Thanks, but I'm more
of a mall dweller.
Suit yourself.
Come on.
Let's get to the party before
all the good couches are taken.
Hey, Deej.
Hey.
Hey, Deej, since you're
babysitting tonight
we have got a really
important job for you.
We've finally figured out
a great trick to play on Joey.
It's operation payback.
Great. How does it work?
Wait, you might wanna take
notes on this, sweetie.
You know how every week Joey
goes and he buys
those lottery tickets and thinks
he's gonna make the big score?
Well this time, we're gonna
make him think that he did.
Well, that's kind of cruel.
Exactly.
Now, your mission, should
you choose to accept it
is to tape the lottery show
tonight
and then we're gonna go out
and get the same numbers
and then I'm going to switch
that ticket with Joey's ticket.
And then the next time Joey sits
down to watch the lotto drawing
we play the tape.
The numbers match exactly,
he thinks he's a zillionaire
and it's shaft city.
Then we tell him
he didn't win
and laugh at him,
like he laughed at us.
No, no, no, no.
We laugh much harder.
Well, it looks like you're
my Saturday night dates.
What do you want to do?
I want to play farmer.
Come on, D.J.
You be a goat.
Be a goat.
I'm a go-o-oat.
[telephone ringing]
Hello-o-o-o.. Ahem.
- Hello?
- 'D.J?'
Steve. How's L.A.?
It's incredible, Deej.
They took us to this
beautiful restaurant
here in Beverly Hills.
There are stars everywhere.
Listen to this. I actually met
Tom Cruise's dental hygienist.
And I've been seeing
the greatest films
by these awesome directors.
Deej, I can't tell you, it's
been so amazingly stimulating.
'So, well, what have
you been up to?'
Well...I've been making
really neat goat sounds.
Excuse me.
Do you mind
if I use the phone?
My flip phone died.
D.J.!
Suzanne Somers
just touched me.
I gotta go, okay?
I love this town!
Steve?
It's all yours, Miss Somers.
Oh, and if I may say so
thanks to that Thighmaster
of yours
my mom's got the cutest buns
on the whole block.
Really?
How nice for your dad.
Thanks.
Thank you.
I stayed home for that?
What am I doing with my life?
I don't know.
Well, I'm not waitin'
around for anybody.
I'm going to that party.
Bye-bye, D.J.
Have fun.
I intend to.
Okay, tonight,
I'm babysitting..
...but tomorrow
is a brand-new day.
Kimmy, you're doing great.
You must be part mountain goat.
Could be.
You know,
when my grandfather got mad
he used to lower his head
and ram people.
Oh, D.J.
- Uhh!
- Oh!
Doesn't she just
crack you up?
Yeah. Remind me to laugh
if we ever make it back down.
Whoa.
We're really high.
Aren't you guys
scared at all?
I'm too dumb to be scared.
Okay, just a little more
and we'll be at the top.
We're going up that?
It's a lot easier
than it looks.
And there's hand and footholds
all the way up.
'Just follow me.'
I love this view!
I could watch him
climb all day.
Kimmy!
Forget the view! You almost
fell off the mountain!
Yeah, but what a way to go.
'You girls comin' up?'
Be right there, lover boy!
I can't move.
I'm too scared.
Why did I ever do this?
Well...you said you didn't
wanna be stuck at home
while Steve's out
sharing phones
with the rich
and the sexy.
Yeah, but I don't wanna be stuck
on this ledge, either.
Deej, you gotta
face this fear.
I mean, what's the worst
that could happen to you?
Well..
...I could fall
and be splattered
into thousands of little pieces
on these very hard
pointy rocks.
There you go.
A hand, please.
Kimmy!
- D.J., I've got you. Here.
- Oh!
Give me your hand.
- Ahh.
- Whoo.
Deej, you did it!
I did do it!
I conquered my fear!
God..
Look at this view!
'It's, uh..
You can see forever!'
This is spectacular!
I feel like I'm on top
of the world!
Deej, will you stop yakkin'?
You're killing the mood.
I can't believe
I almost missed this.
You know,
in some weird way
Kimmy, I couldn't have
done this without you.
Hey, you taught me how
to shave my pits.
What goes around
comes around.
Hi, D.J.
Steve. What are you
doing here?
Oh, nothing.
Just waiting around..
...for about three hours!
I came home today.
We had a date, remember?
Oh, it's Saturday.
You're home from L.A.
I don't know what
happened to this week.
I've been so busy.
Well, thanks. It's nice
to know you missed me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I've just been
doing so much stuff.
You know, I even got to hang out
with Steph and Michelle.
'I forgot how much
I liked them.'
Did you forget
you had a boyfriend?
No..
...but my whole life doesn't
revolve around you.
Yeah. It revolves around us.
Uh, we'll be upstairs
if you need us.
You know, I know
what this is about.
You're trying to get back at me
for going to L.A.
Steve, I'm not trying
to get back at you.
Man, you share one phone
with Suzanne Somers
and you think you're
Mr. Hollywood.
I cannot believe that you are
jealous of me and Suzanne.
Jealous?
Steve..
...go home.
Okay, alright.
I'm goin' home.
But it's not because
you told me to!
It's because my mom said
not to be late for dinner.
And I don't intend to be!
Okay, Joe-Joe. Time for
the big lottery drawing.
Okay, Michelle,
turn off the TV
and then turn on the tape.
Joey, Joey,
be with your family
the people who love you.
What's everybody doing here?
You guys are always tellin' me
how dumb I am
for buying lottery tickets.
Oh, not today, Joey.
We are here to cheer you on.
Yeah. It is your lucky day,
buddy.
Michelle, turn the sound up.
(male announcer on TV)
'And here are the numbers
in this week's'
'Super Lotto
$50 million jackpot.'
'Fourteen.'
Hey, I actually got one.
'Five.'
Yes.
'Twenty nine.'
Yes.
'Forty one.'
Yes.
'Twenty three.'
Oh, my God, yes!
'And the last number is..'
'...six!'
Yes! Yes! Yes!
'I won! I did it! I'm rich.'
Oh, Michelle!
I think I'll buy a ranch,
a big ranch
and I'll get you that pony
you always wanted.
Ah, forget the pony.
I'll buy you a horse.
A big horse, a big
10-foot-tall horse
with a golden saddle!
Ha ha ha ha!
'I'm a 50 millionaire.'
- Yes!
- Joey, Joey, Joey, this is--
This is.. It's incredible.
I wanna touch it.
I wanna feel it
I want to smell this puppy.
Hey, I said it was
his lucky day.
- Let me smell the puppy.
- Guys, careful.
- I smelled the puppy first.
- I smelled the puppy second.
'Hey, come on.
You're being a baby.'
Guys, don't rip it.
Don't rip it.
- Will you just let go of it?
- Fine!
'My money!'
My $50 million!
- No!
- No, no, no!
Joey. Joey!
- You'll burn your hand!
- I'll buy a new one!
Joey, Joey, Joey, face it.
It's gone.
Gone?
Yeah.
Now, Joey
you know what they say..
[in unison]
April fools!
What?
Gotcha!
You mean
this was a joke? I..
But I saw it on TV.
No, no, no. See, we taped the
drawing from last week, right?
We went out, we bought
those numbers
and we switched that ticket
with your ticket.
But there's
no tape in there.
Well, sure there is. I put it
in there this morning.
I pressed
the "play" button.
I'm telling you guys,
there's no tape in there.
I took it out this morning
to clean the heads.
We were watching
the real show.
Have mercy.
Joey's ticket actually won!
- The fireplace!
Oh, God. Oh..
Man!
There's nothing
but ashes in there.
Well, gang,
you know what they say..
...April fools!
Ha ha ha ha!
- What?
- Huh?
The tape was in there
the whole time.
Oh, that knucklehead
got us again.
Here's a little hint.
Next time, don't label it
"Joke on Joey."
Oops.
Gang, next time,
don't mess with the king.
Heh heh heh!
[in unison]
April fools!
Hey.
What are you doing up?
I'm just having some tea
and thinking.
Oh, what a coincidence.
I was just thinking
about having some tea.
So, uh..
You okay?
Steve and I had a fight.
Oh.
It just feels like we're not
on the same wavelength anymore.
Is that how it felt when
you and Vicky broke up?
Well, yeah.
Sometimes people
in relationships
just go off
in different directions.
Yeah, I think that's the problem
with me and Steve.
When I was on that mountain
something inside of me
changed.
I just realized that I've been
with Steve so long
that I was forgetting
who I was.
Hmm.
Well, maybe you
have to, you know
talk to Steve and try
to make him understand
how you're feeling.
You're right.
You know, it's nice
having these talks
without being in trouble.
If it'll make you
feel any better
I could ground you
for a couple weeks.
- You're the best.
- Oh, I am, aren't I?
Well, what do you think?
I think that there should
be an elevator there.
Steve, come on,
look around.
Don't you feel
exhilarated?
Don't you feel
overwhelmed?
Don't you feel
anything?
Well, you know,
I feel like a chili dog.
Forget it.
Deej,
I was just kidding.
No, but I'm serious.
What's the problem?
It's us.
You know, it's like
somebody let the air
out of our relationship.
Don't you feel it?
Well..
Well, I'll admit that things
aren't like
they used to be at the beginning
but, but hey, I was willing
never to bring it up.
Not talking about it is not
gonna make it go away.
You know, there's something
missing between us.
I know.
I was thinking
about that in L.A.
We're not connecting
like we used to, you know
but, you know,
we still have fun
we get to hang out,
we talk to each other.
Yeah, but..
...where's the heat?
I mean, where's that passion
that we used to have?
I mean, what you're talking
about is a friendship.
It's not a romance.
So what are you saying,
we should break up?
That's a scary thought.
I know.
It scares me too.
I mean, you're the first guy
that I ever loved.
You know, but..
...climbing this mountain
was really scary
until I actually did it
and then it was incredible.
I understand, Deej.
I mean, you're
my first love too
but we can't
stay together
just 'cause we're
afraid to break up.
Yeah, because if we did
we could both be missing out
on other incredible things.
Yeah, but we'd lose something
incredible too..
...us.
No, we'll never lose us
and we'll always be friends.
I hope so, 'cause..
...you're the best friend
I ever had.
Did we just break up?
Yeah, I think so.
What's next?
I guess we should, um..
...we should just head down
and face the world.
But, uh...
Is it okay if we, uh,
take the trail this time?
Sure.
'Deej, are you coming?'
Go ahead.
I'll catch up.
Are you sure?
Yeah. I just need a minute.
I'll be okay.
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪