[instrumental music]
Okay, watch your step,
easy, easy.
You got a step
coming up here.
Dad, I know
I broke my arm
but promise me
you're not gonna freak out
over every move I make.
Of course not, sweetie.
Come on.
Lip in the carpet.
There's a lip in the carpet.
Steph, how you doin'?
What did the doctor say?
I'm gonna be fine, but dad
will need plenty of rest.
That's a big boo-boo.
That's a hard boo-boo.
Steph, you're such
a good skater. What happened?
I never made it to the rink.
I slipped on a piece of pizza
in the parking lot.
Well, if anyone asks,
just say you missed
the landing
on a triple toe loop.
Gotcha.
Uh, sweetheart, if you're
gonna go with that story..
...you better
change your pants.
You fell on pizza.
Alright.
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milk man the paper boy
evenin' TV ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
[instrumental music]
- Whoopee!
- Yippee!
- Whoopee.
- Yippee.
My dad was wrong.
It's not more fun without water.
Hey, Kenny,
what you doing on our block?
Well, if you must know
I had to pick up
my application
for the Downhill Derby.
What's that?
It's a car race,
that I win every year.
Where do you get the cars?
Where do you think?
You build 'em with an adult.
I usually watch TV until
my dad tells me we're finished.
Denise? Michelle? Lunch
will be ready in five minutes.
(both)
Alright!
Nicky, you just ate.
I hungry boy.
Oh, you're
a hungry boy, huh?
Aunt Becky,
you're an adult.
Could you help me build a car
for the Downhill Derby?
Michelle, it just so happens
that you asked the right person.
I used helped
my brothers build their cars
all the time
when I was growin' up.
Thanks. I'll be watching TV,
tell me when we're finished.
Oh, no, no, wait a minute,
come back here.
No TV.
If you're really serious
about this race
we have to build
the car together.
That's even better.
I'm in.
Alright.
Put it there, partner.
Okay, hungry boy.
Don't eat your shirt.
I'll give you somethin' else
to eat, you knucklehead.
Excuse me,
did I hear right?
You're gonna let
a girl help you?
And what's wrong with that?
Everyone knows girls
don't have car brains.
They have Barbie doll brains.
Well, Barbie has a Corvette.
Yeah, but Ken built it.
- Hey, not the sandwich.
- Sorry.
- 'Hey, honey.'
- Hi.
Uh, sweetie, uh, Steve called.
Steve? We haven't spoken
since we broke up.
Yeah, it was somethin' about
wanting to see you
this weekend.
- Why?
- I don't know.
- Well, how was his tone?
- His tone?
Uh, well, was he angry?
Was he upset?
Ah, I knew it,
I broke his heart.
He-he was
probably crying?
Could you hear him
blow his nose on his shirt?
Easy, Deej.
He broke up with you.
Not Cindy Crawford.
Alright, now, what we're
gonna do is build the car
real low to the ground, so it
cuts down on wind resistance.
Is it gonna go fast?
Let's just say, you'd better
hang on to your baby teeth.
Alright.
Daddy, Aunt Becky drew the car
that we're gonna build.
Oh, let me see that.
Well, I guess we'll
finally get to see
who the real mechanic
in the family is.
Gonna build a car, huh?
Be careful, you might
break a nail.
It's gonna be so hard without
a big, strong man to help us.
What will we do?
[gruff voice]
Well, I don't know, little lady,
if you have any trouble, uh..
...figurin' out where
that steering wheel goes
you know where
to find us manly men.
Oh, this is a girl's car.
Where are you gonna put the
flowers at, there, young lady?
In the bud vase, next
to the driver's makeup mirror.
Michelle, where are you going?
Well, I have a few things
I have to do.
Alright, but we have
a lot of work to do, okay?
Alright, you manly men,
you got any real suggestions?
I would, if I had any idea
how to build a car.
What're you gonna
say to Steve?
I don't know,
I mean, I know it's over
but what if he says
he can't live without me?
What if he begs?
What if he cries?
Just do what I do when a man
comes crawling back to me.
Wake up.
What's Gibbler doing here?
Sorry, Joey,
I couldn't get her to leave.
I've had the same problem
for eight years.
Alright, Gibbler, you can stay,
but you're sworn to secrecy.
I don't want
Jesse and Danny giving me
a hard time about this.
We're teaching Joey
some ballet exercises.
It's to help
improve my hockey.
It just happens
to be an excellent way
to improve flexibility,
balance and strength.
Hey, if that's your story,
prance away.
- Out.
- No problem.
I'd rather not see this.
Now, the first exercise
will be plies in first position.
Ready? Demi-plie.
One, two.
Come on, Joey, work it.
Your demi's not plieing.
And into a grand plie.
[cloth ripping]
Sounds like a grand rip-e.
Boy, I hope that
was just my pants.
[instrumental music]
Whew, screwdriver.
Thank you.
Are you sure
that goes there?
Pretty sure.
It's the steering wheel.
- Should I ask dad just in case?
- Michelle, trust me.
The steering wheel always
goes in front of the driver.
If you say so.
Hey.
What do you call
that piece of junk?
We call it
the First Place Winner.
Well, you should call
a garbage man to haul it away.
Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
- Okay, fine. Michelle, hop in.
Let's show him
what we got.
Ready, set..
[blows raspberry]
[Kenny laughing]
What you got is no chance.
Bye, girls.
That's strange.
I wonder what the problem is.
The wheel fell off.
Even I know that.
Oh, no,
here's the problem.
The hardware store
sold me a bad cotter pin.
Michelle, you know what?
I can fix this in no time.
No, don't fix anything.
- Why? What's wrong?
- Let's forget about the race.
[instrumental music]
Michelle, wait a second.
I thought you wanted
to be in the race?
I know I did, but now I don't.
But, Michelle, you were
so excited, you were sleeping
in your crash helmet.
Honey, if you're upset
about the wheel--
I'm not upset.
I just changed my mind.
I'm a kid, it happens.
Well, I...guess I'll
replace the pin anyway.
Maybe she'll change
her mind back again.
She's a kid, it happens.
- Hey, Steve.
- Hi.
- Been a while. Good to see you.
- 'Yeah, y-you too.'
He looks devastated.
He's taking this really hard.
[Comet barking]
[Steph clearing throat]
- You can come in.
- Oh, right. Thanks.
[Steve sighing]
Uh, so, uh,
how's it goin'?
[D.J. chuckling]
It's, uh..
It's goin'.
Listen, D.J., I don't know how
you're gonna feel about this--
Look, Steve, it's natural
to feel a sense of loss
and a desperation
to hang on to something
but you're just gonna
have to let it go.
No, wait. Why do
I have to let it go?
You know, it's my CD,
you borrowed it.
- Your CD?
- Yeah, remember my Sting CD.?
You borrowed it. I was hoping
I could get it back.
See, Deej? He's not devastated.
He just wants his CD back.
Steph? Out. Now.
Right. Gotcha. Hmm.
Bye.
Devastated? Deej, you
thought I was devastated?
- No, of course not.
- Good.
Because, you know, I-I feel
okay about us breaking up.
Great, me too.
I'll go get your CD.
Not even
a little devastated?
Well..
Why? Are you?
Well, I do miss you.
Yeah, I got to admit
I miss you too.
And I feel bad, you know,
because every couple
that breaks up says, "Oh, we're
gonna stay real, good friends"
but they never do.
Yeah, but that doesn't
have to happen to us.
I mean, we're friends.
We can do friendly things.
Yeah, you're right, you know..
Hey, wanna go to the movies?
Sure. Or, you know,
we could get some pizza.
Are you hungry?
D.J., it's me.
What was I thinkin'?
Wait, Deej, wait.
But how is this any
different from dating?
Well, we won't
make out anymore.
Bummer.
I'll pay
for my own pizza.
Actually, you know,
this could work out.
[orchestral music]
Last time I saw Joey
bend over that far
was because an Oreo
rolled under the couch.
Okay, I think we're ready
for the bar exercises.
I'm ready for the barf bag.
[Danny shushing]
- Somebody's been practicing.
- Thank you for noticing.
Steph, I just
imagine myself
a squirrel on the first day
of spring gathering nuts.
Very good, Joey.
Gather, gather.
Swish your bushy little tail.
[Jesse applauding]
(Jesse)
Send a ringer.
- Oh, nice nut work.
- Yeah.
I think that's one squirrel that
should have stayed in his tree.
Au contraire, I-I think
he made a radiant rodent.
Ballet to help his hockey.
Next thing you know,
he'll be taking up knitting
to help his football.
Jess, wait a second.
Michelle,
what are you doin' up here?
It's my room.
Why aren't you,
uh, downstairs
helping Becky
finish your car?
I quit.
Oh, honey, why?
Don't tell Aunt Becky this,
but she's a girl.
I think she knows that.
Personally, I've always
liked that about her.
But girls can't
build good cars.
- Who told you that?
- Kenny.
Sweetheart, that kid, Kenny..
...he's a bonehead.
- You said it too, daddy.
- I did?
You said, "Girls don't even know
where the steering wheel goes."
Well, uh, sweetheart,
that was just a joke.
Danny, you've got to learn
to be more sensitive.
Uncle Jesse
you said, "Where are you gonna
put the flowers, sweetheart?"
What's the matter, Michelle?
Can't you just take a joke?
Sweetie, we didn't
mean those things.
Well, then,
why did you say them?
Well, we said them
'cause, um..
'Cause we're boneheads,
right, Jess?
Right, bony.
Sweetie, hey, we're sorry
if we gave you the wrong idea.
You know, sometimes
people make a joke
and they don't realize
that they're sending
out a bad message.
That's right, but here's
the right message.
Girls can do anything
boys can do.
- That's right.
- Hey, Michelle, thanks, uh..
Thanks for the tape.
- Uh, Joey, wait a minute.
- Oh, uh, let's see.
You haven't made fun
of me for Michelle yet
so I'll save you the trouble.
Look, Michelle, I'm a squirrel.
It's the first day of spring.
See me prance and scamper.
Here we go.
Joey.
Jess, I-I think
we owe an apology
to a certain
woodland creature.
Yeah. Uh,
Squirrel Boy..
...we're sorry
we made fun of you.
We really are, Joey.
See, Michelle? Joey's a boy
and he can do ballet.
And you and Aunt Becky are
girls, and you can build cars.
As long as you're
not hurting anybody
you can do anything you
wanna do, that you really love.
Well, I love
building that car.
Alright, let me
tell you something, Michelle.
If you love
building that car
you get down there
and, you finish that speed wagon
and, you go win that race.
I hope she's not mad
because I quit.
You're not
a bad squirrel.
Thanks, Michelle.
Well, I'm really proud
of you, guys, for, uh
havin' such
a positive attitude.
You know, you should really give
this ballet stuff a shot.
You know what, Jess?
He-he's right.
It really
is good exercise.
Yeah, and it is supposed
to keeps you limber.
How about tomorrow at three?
(both)
Nah.
Oh, come on, you guys.
Aunt Becky,
you're still working on the car?
Yeah, well,
I figured we got it this far
we might as well finish it.
Oh, Michelle, this car
is pretty special.
- It is?
- Oh yeah.
I never built a car
for a girl driver.
When I was growin' up,
girls weren't allowed to race.
So why'd you quit?
Because everybody was saying
girls can't make cars.
Ah, you mean Kenny?
No. Daddy,
Uncle Jesse, and you.
But now I know that you guys
were all just kidding.
Oh.
Michelle..
...I'm sorry if I helped
give you the wrong idea.
You know, being a girl
is pretty special.
I like it so far.
Mm, and the good stuff's
coming up.
Aunt Becky,
can I...unquit?
Sure.
Oh.
Grab a paintbrush, girl.
We got a race to win.
[upbeat music]
- Ready, Michelle?
- I am, but my tummy isn't.
- Butterflies?
- Yeah, with really big wings.
[indistinct chatter]
Hey, Michelle.
Congratulations, sweetie.
What for? I haven't
even raced yet.
So what, munchkin? You built
the car, you never quit.
Well, actually,
she did quit once.
Yeah, but then
she unquit.
Yeah, but technically,
she did quit.
- But she's here now--
- 'I know, but she quit..'
Girls, please, uh, girls,
girls, girls, girls..
We're trying to provide
inspiration here.
Yeah. Michelle, the point is
you're already a winner.
Thanks.
(male announcer)
'Drivers for our first
preliminary race'
'please approach
the starting line.'
Alright, Michelle.
You know, all we have to do
is make it through
the preliminaries
and then
we're on to the finals.
- You're ready?
- Let's roll.
- 'Alright.'
- 'Watch your hair.'
[instrumental music]
(male announcer)
'Drivers, ready...go!'
[crowd cheering]
Come on, Michelle.
[music continues]
[Kenny growling]
[music continues]
(male announcer)
'And the final race for'
'the Downhill
Derby Championship'
'will be between Kenny Webster
and Michelle Tanner.'
Good luck, Michelle.
Well, if it isn't my first
victim and my next victim.
No mercy.
[Kenny laughing]
Alright, Michelle. Go get him.
Make him eat your dust.
And listen, sweetie, I want you
to drive carefully, okay?
And if you get sleepy,
just pull over.
Danny,
it's a 15-second race.
She was up late last night.
Guys, come on,
we have to concentrate here.
- Okay, have fun, honey.
- Good luck.
Alright, Michelle,
this is for all the marbles.
But I thought the winner
gets a trophy.
Yeah, well, that too.
Listen, Honey,
I want you to know that
no matter what happens,
I'm really proud of you
for making it this far.
Thanks. I'm lucky to have
an aunt who's a girl.
Oh, I'm lucky
to have you.
Alright.
Jump on in there.
Wait. This car
needs something.
There. Now everybody will know
this is a girl's car.
Put it there.
Alright, get your helmet on.
- Good luck.
- Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
Look, your car goes so slowly,
it's growing weeds.
My dad said if I can't say
anything nice
then I shouldn't say
anything at all.
But my dad's not here,
and you're a weenie!
(male announcer)
'For the championship!'
[bugle calls]
'Ready, go!'
[Kenny yelling]
(together)
'Come on, Michelle!'
[crowd cheering]
- Yeah, come on.
- She's behind!
[dramatic music]
Gonna be close!
(male announcer)
'And the winner is..'
'...Michelle Tanner by a rose!'
(in unison)
Yeah!
[indistinct chatter]
(Steph)
Yeah! Good driving!
(Danny)
'It's great.'
Congratulations.
Thanks.
(male announcer)
'And this year's
Downhill Derby trophy'
'goes to Michelle Tanner!'
Aunt Becky, I wanna
share this with you.
This is for all the girls
who never got to race.
Okay, but let's keep it
at our house.
[Becky laughing]
Whoo!
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪