(DIDGERIDOO PLAYING)
(EXPLOSION)
MAN (OVER LOUDSPEAKER): You in the dinghy! This is the police.
Put your hands on your head.
MAN 2: Mick?
G'day, Sarge!
I might have known it would be you.
It's these New York fish, Sarge, they won't take the bait.
(CHUCKLES)
Breakfast.
(LAUGHS)
Get outta here! Come on, let's go.
(LAUGHS)
Mick?
- MICK: Breakfast. - (GASPS)
What are you doing up there? You scared me.
Just admiring the view. You want coffee?
Yeah.
- Are you thinking about home? - Yeah.
- I guess you miss it. - The bush? A bit.
I was thinking I could be sitting in the bar at Walkabout Creek right now,
gazing across at Wally and Nugget and Donk.
Or I could be here looking at you. No contest.
Actually, I was thinking about looking for a job.
You're kidding.
No. A man can't stay on holidays forever.
Well, you seem to have managed okay so far.
I would've started looking for a job last week,
only I wanted to see Doug meet his mysterious twin brother.
- Doug who? - On TV. Days of Our Lives.
Oh, Mick! We definitely have to get you a job!
(CHILDREN PLAYING)
Hey, Mick, my friend didn't see you throw. Could you show him? Huh?
Um...
You can go play. I've got to go to work.
Play?
- Don't forget lunch. - No worries. All right. Wait a minute.
- Where's the rabbit? - Here it is.
Yeah. Right. That's a rabbit.
You take the rabbit, put it down over there somewhere
- then get right out of the way. - Okay.
- Rocks? - Yup.
Don't miss, Mick.
- Close your eyes! - All right.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four. Okay, you can look.
KIDS: Yay!
- Any good? - That was the best, Mick.
Know how come he can throw like that?
In the bushes, if you miss, you don't eat. Isn't that right, Mick?
That's right. But that's only half of it. First, you gotta find the animals.
Here. What's this?
- A snake. That's a snake trail. - Quick.
Snakes are good eating.
What's this one?
- That's a goanna, a real big lizard. - Right.
You can eat it, but it tastes like shit, right, Mick?
Yeah... Here's another one, real quick.
What's that? Don't know?
Dunlop radials, Tony's bike.
(KIDS LAUGH)
- That was a good one. - All right, practice.
- Bye, Mick. Bye. - See you later. Bye-bye.
- See you later! - Bye!
- And don't forget lunch! - That was good, right?
- G'day, Al. - Hiya, Mick.
- What'll you have? - Just a beer, mate.
- Mind if I make an announcement? - Go right ahead.
Thanks.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Mick Dundee's the name. Fairly new in town.
Looking for some kind of a job.
Any suggestions?
That's enough job hunting for one day.
- Yo, Mick, my man! - G'day, Leroy.
- So, like, you're looking for work? - Hmm. Kinda.
Well, then look no further.
- I can get you into something sweet. - Great.
Let me just grab some cigarettes, then we'll talk some business.
Okay.
Hey.
I noticed you're getting pretty tight with Leroy.
Yeah, nice fella.
Let me warn you, he's a bad dude.
He's into some pretty heavy shit.
- Leroy? Seems harmless enough. - Just so you know.
Yo, Mick, let's walk. Less ears on the street.
Okay. Back in a sec.
Okay, like... I got a little supply business going, right?
- Hey, like you will work for me. - Oh. What would I be doing?
- Delivering stuff. - Stuff?
This is just between you and me. This goes no further, right?
Right.
Stationery.
- Stationery? - Shh!
You know, pens, erasers, office supplies.
- And that's heavy shit? - No, man, it ain't.
I'm strictly legit.
But when you have a name like Leroy Brown,
people expect you to be bad.
You know, like the song.
Oh, right!
But, uh...
- I kinda like the image. (LAUGHS) - Yeah.
- You dig? - Yup. Dig.
Is that part of the job? Digging?
(LAUGHS)
Man, you really are prehistoric. Hey. You want the job?
Well, I don't know, Leroy. Don't really know what I wanna do yet.
Okay. When you make up your mind, you let me know.
Okay.
In the meantime,
I gotta split.
You be cool.
Hmm?
Beast. The perfect gift for Donk.
Well, it makes a man irresistible.
Hmm.
You don't sound very convincing. I think I'll test it.
Doesn't work.
Well, it doesn't!
I'd really like to get Wally the kind of thing
you can only buy in America, you know.
Hello.
Maybe like those cushions that say, "I love New York,"
that you put in your car.
Hmm.
Hi, Sue. What are you doing?
Hi, Doris. Nothing exciting, just going through some mail.
DORIS: Oh, Bob Tanner. Isn't he your ex-husband?
SUE: We still keep in touch.
Oh, Sue, he's cute! Where was I when you two broke up?
- I could have consoled him! - Well, that's gonna be difficult.
He spends most of his time in Colombia these days.
That's where the action is.
Qué será, será. Oh, speaking of action, when am I gonna meet Tarzan?
- You mean Mick? - You have another hot jungle lover?
Soon, I promise.
Sue, what's he like in bed?
I don't know. He still sleeps on the floor.
BOB: Okay, some visitors.
(SHUTTER CLICKING)
This must be Rico.
Hello, Rico. Nice suit.
Cómo está?
A little slimy, you know.
(SHUTTER CLICKING)
What the hell is this?
(SHUTTER CLICKING)
(SHUTTER CLICKING RAPIDLY)
Shit!
(GUNSHOT)
(SHUTTER CLICKING)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(AUTOMATIC GUNFIRE)
(BULLETS RICOCHET)
(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)
- MAN: Operador. - Hi. This is SeñorTanner in Room 11.
Would you get me Bogotá 6-3-7, please?
Si, Señor.
Gracias.
- Hello. - MAN: Your call.
(PHONE RINGING)
Brannigan.
Brannigan. Look, something's happened.
You gotta get me out of here. I'm not a cop. I want protection.
Okay, Tanner, you'll get it. Just calm down.
So, what have you got?
Rico was at the cocaine plant.
Oh yeah, it was him.
And there's more. He killed a guy, personally.
I took pictures of the whole thing.
Great. Did you send them off?
Yeah, but not to you.
But don't worry, I'll send you some framed copies.
Where did you send them, Bob?
Yeah, Brannigan. Sure, yeah.
I tell you, and you kiss me goodbye.
Read my lips. They shot at me!
They already killed one guy! Now come here and get me!
Yeah. Okay, okay, just stay put.
We'll be there within the hour. You'll be out on the next flight.
- Great. Good. Great. - You did a great job.
Thank you very much. Bye. Just come and get me, all right?
- Operador. - Yeah. Hi, it's me again. Yeah.
Would you get me New York City, please?
212-555-6432.
- Si, señor. Nueva York. - Thank you.
(PHONE RINGING)
Sue, listen...
(MICK CLEARS THROAT) Um, yeah.
Hello. This is Mick Dundee here.
I'm not really here, this is a recording. It's good, isn't it?
Um, Sue's not here either,
and you should leave a message after the beep.
(BEEP)
BOB: Hey, great message. Listen, Sue, this is Robert.
I just... I sent you a letter. I don't want you to open it.
I don't want you to do anything with it until you hear from me, all right?
There's nobody else that I trust. This is big with a capital "B."
(BLOWS KISSES) Bye.
(BANGING)
(SILENCED GUNSHOTS)
- G'day, Ralph. - Yo, Mickey. How's it hangin'?
Good, mate. Anything for me?
Got something here for your lady friend.
There you go.
(LAUGHS)
Hey.
What about this one?
(IMITATING RICHARD NIXON) My fellow Americans,
let me make one thing perfectly clear.
(SPUTTERING)
- That's funny, Ralph. Who is it? - (GIGGLES)
It's Nixon! You know, Tricky Dicky?
No, I don't know him. Does he live round here?
He used to be the President!
Oh, right. Yeah, that was just like him, Ralph.
- I'll work on it. - See you, mate.
See you later, Mick.
MAN: Hey, you ugly mother. Give me your wallet!
Hey, hey, hey. Relax! It's just me, man.
- Leroy! How are you, mate? - How you doin'?
- Fancy a drink somewhere? - That sounds good to me.
I just got a couple of deliveries to make.
- Can I help? - Sure, sure.
Look, this goes to Moore, Bank and Patterson,
on the 23rd floor of that building right there.
No worries. See you back here.
- Back here in five minutes. - Got it.
- G'day. - Yes.
Can I help you?
That's your stationery.
Can you wait while I check this?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, there's a guy walking past your window.
- Okay, what's the gag? - No, serious.
Oh, my God. It's a jumper. I'd better call the police.
- It's a what? - A jumper. A suicide!
Maybe I should go and talk to him.
Don't try to stop me.
I don't want to stop you. I just wanna get past.
What?
- I wanna get by. You're in the way. - You're kidding.
No. I walk around here every day.
Get away from all the noise and the traffic,
get up here and get the fresh air.
You had the same idea yourself, did you?
I don't give a damn about the air!
I'm about to throw myself off this building.
You could kill yourself.
That's the whole idea.
Oh. Oh, right. I'll just wait till you're finished.
Would you mind getting a move on? I'm on my lunch break.
I can't do it with you watching.
Sorry.
Just out of curiosity, why...
(WHISTLES)
Have you ever been hopelessly and completely in love,
only to find out that...
That you've been used?
(WHIMPERING)
No, I can't say that I have.
I loved that bitch!
(CRYING)
- It's all right. - And he betrayed me.
He?
Screw that!
Hello, Sue.
No, no. No trouble, darling. Just get into the car, okay?
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Sit.
Sue Charlton.
You got something for me?
Who are you and what do you want?
Forgive me. I am Luis Rico.
Your ex-husband Bob sent you a film. It belongs to me. I want it back.
Bob? I don't know what you're talking about.
This is very simple. We do business and you go home.
He sent you a letter. Where is it?
I don't know what you're talking about.
(GASPS)
It would be here by now. He left a message on your machine.
I never got any message. The machine's been broken.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Si - (MAN ON PHONE SPEAKS SPANISH)
Felipe.
He says the boyfriend is back.
What do you want him to do?
- His name? - Mick.
He lives with you?
- Does he check the mail? - Yeah, I guess.
Tell Felipe to bring Mick around for a coffee.
(MAN ON PHONE SPEAKS SPANISH)
He says that the DEA, they staked out the place.
Brannigan just walked inside the building.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
Tell him to just sit tight. This is getting out of hand.
(MIGUEL SPEAKS SPANISH)
Call Mick. And pray he has some brains.
He does like I tell him, you both come out alive.
Sue?
(PHONE RINGING)
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Just a second.
- Yeah? - Mick.
Sue. You should see the joint...
Mick, listen, this is really important. I'm in a lot of trouble.
- Did you check the mail today? - Yeah, why?
Was there a letter for me from Colombia?
Hang on a second. Colombia. Yeah, I got it here.
- Thank God. - What the hell's going on?
- Mick, I'm being held prisoner by... - You're joking, right?
Shut up and listen.
- Who's this? - There's no time.
There's a cop coming to see you.
Give him nothing. Get rid of him, or your lady is a dead woman.
Call you back in two minutes.
Listen...
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Yeah?
Inspector Brannigan. Drug Enforcement Administration.
- Is Sue Charlton in? - Not at the moment, no.
- When do you expect her? - I'm not sure.
You know these big-time reporters, out reporting till all hours.
Would you ask her to give me a call, if you happen to bump into her?
Yeah, sure. No problem.
Aren't you gonna ask me what this is all about?
Well, none of my business.
Okay, fine.
(PHONE RINGING)
Yes?
Bring the letter to Hoyt Street station, downtown side.
Wait till someone comes. You got that?
Yes. I wanna talk to Sue. Now.
Mick, please do what they say and be careful.
You just hang on.
One thing more, amigo.
If you're followed, if you screw this up,
your lady is dead. Comprendes?
Yeah, I got it.
- (CLICK) - (DIAL TONE)
- What you want? A little mustard? - Yeah.
Ketchup?
Okay, here she is.
Mom?
(SIGHS)
- Finished? - What?
- Are you finished? - Uh-huh.
Don't put it away.
- Put your hands up on the wall. - Okay.
- Now, where's Sue Charlton? - (CHUCKLES)
Who's that?
Lord! Man, no! Ahhh!
Look, look, look. How should I know where she is?
I've been following you.
Brannigan told me to follow you. And that's it.
- Brannigan. So you're a cop? - Yeah, DEA.
- Look. Can I do up my fly now? - No.
- All right. - What do you want with Sue?
Uh...
Pictures. We think she's got
photographs, pictures of a guy named Rico. It's evidence, you know.
- Who's Rico? - A big-time drug dealer, he's a killer.
Where is he? Where does he live?
Wherever he wants to. How should I know?
Look, I think I've been more than reasonable
under the circumstances, so what do you say...
What do you say you and me just forget this little incident ever took place, okay?
'Cause it's kind of embarrassing, you know?
He's gone.
Are you okay, buddy?
Okay.
You gotta be Dundee.
- Where's the girl? - Coming in on the next train.
- The item? - We'll wait.
(SUBWAY TRAIN APPROACHING)
She must have got off at the wrong stop.
No, no, no...
Keep going.
Now, that's a knife.
WOMAN: This is the legendary New York City subway,
completed in nineteen hundred and...
It's the most extensive subway system in the world,
encompassing 481.2 rail miles.
Yous is free to take pictures.
Please get on the train in an orderly fashion.
The next stop will be City Hall.
And then on to Staten Island Ferry,
which provides service to World Trade Center.
- (SPEAKING JAPANESE) - No, no. Go on. Go on.
Yeah.
- How does this work? - Ahhh!
WOMAN: Oh, my God! He's got a gun!
(GUNSHOT)
He'll kill somebody, he's crazy!
Where are you going? Come back here! He has a gun!
I'm gonna get into trouble!
Shit.
(BOTH SPEAKING JAPANESE)
- Thank you. - Slap me five.
You know who that was? Clint Eastwood!
Clint Eastwood?
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
Yes, very tall.
So is I.
Yes.
Clint Eastwood.
You know what this is?
Cocaine.
Wrong. It's money and power.
With this, you can do anything to anybody.
Five, 10 years from now,
I'm gonna retire, buy myself a little island.
Hawaii, maybe.
(LAUGHS)
Who do you think you are?
You hold me here at gunpoint and threaten to kill people
and then you act like you're some sort of a rock star?
You're a drug dealer.
Grubby little parasite.
You should watch your mouth.
It's not wise to annoy me.
Bob Tanner did and I had his head blown off, like that.
You killed Bob?
And if your Mick screws this up...
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Wakey, wakey.
(MOANS)
(SCREAMING)
You kill people for a living. Not very good at it, are you?
Maybe you should get into some other business.
Shove it!
You're too heavy to be a clever dick.
Who do you think you're kidding? You ain't gonna...
(SCREAMS)
Scary, eh?
Hey, hey.
Please! What do you want?
(SCREAMS)
Please! What do you want?
(WHIMPERING)
- Where's the girl? - Rico's got her. At his place.
And where exactly is that?
HITMAN: Hey!
Hey!
Oh, thank God! I thought you were gonna leave me here.
- Long Island. That's east of here, right? - Yeah. Yeah.
- Thanks. - Hey!
Hey!
Freeze! Hold it!
(WHIMPERS)
Oh!
Ah, excuse me.
Shall I go after him?
- Be my guest. - (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Mick, this is serious shit you're talking about.
DEA, international drug rings...
This is all hazardous to your health.
Yeah, but think what it'll do for your reputation.
Oh, yeah! Yeah.
Leroy Brown, the baddest man in the whole damn cemetery!
Yeah, but I don't understand how these people think.
I need someone who's road wise.
Road wise.
Let's go.
The car's... I mean, like, the wheels are out back.
I'm cool.
You mustn't let these minor disruptions ruin your appetite.
Try the lobster. I had it flown in from Maine this morning.
There's nothing wrong with the food, it's the company.
(LAUGHING)
Would you look at this stuff!
There's TV cameras,
infrared beams!
They're gonna know you're there before you do.
Maybe we should just call the police.
Mick.
Guys like this own cops.
And even if the guys you call are straight, what are they gonna do?
Come in here with their sirens wailing and their guns blazing?
She'll be dead in two seconds, if she's still alive.
She's still alive.
How do you know that?
'Cause that's the only way I can see her. Up here.
If I even start to think she's hurt, my guts twist up, I can't think straight,
and I'm no good to her.
- So, what do we do now? - We need some kind of distraction.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
When we get in, Mick, whatever you do, be cool, go easy. These dogs bite.
Fortunately, they know my rep round here.
I'll just smooth the way.
- Yo, Rat. - Leroy.
I would consider it a personal favor if you'll hear my man here.
- You're the crocodile man, ain't you? - Yeah.
I've seen you around.
- I'm Rat. - Hey, Rat.
What do you want, crocodile man?
I've got a problem. I need your help.
Well, you've come to the right place.
That's what we're here for, huh?
Yeah.
Nice jacket.
How can we be of service?
Well, these heavy dudes kidnapped my woman.
They're holding her prisoner in a big mansion
and I'm gonna bust her out.
"Heavy dudes," huh?
Lots of guys with machine guns, shit like that?
Probably.
So, you want us to charge down the guns, huh?
Death before dishonor, all that stuff?
No.
I'm the only one that's gonna get shot at.
What I want from you is a distraction, so I can get in.
So, what's in it for us?
Leroy tells me that your gang is the coolest gang in New York.
- That's right. - (CROWD AGREEING)
That's the word.
- What did you do last night? - We didn't do nothin'.
We was here all night.
That's what you call cool, is it?
So tomorrow, if someone asks you the same question,
you can say, "We didn't do nothin'."
Or you can say, "We went out to Long Island"
"and helped this lunatic storm a fortress."
At the very least you could come and watch me get my head blown off.
What are your chances?
Fair.
What are your chances of getting outta here with that jacket on?
Better than average.
Yeah, I'll go along with that.
He wants to drive, let him drive!
- I didn't think you'd get anybody. - Would you miss this?
- No. - Exactly.
Hey, yo! Like, be cool with the clutch!
MAN: Hey, Judy, what's going on?
JUDY: Looks like these guys are gonna blow up Long Island or something.
- What the hell, let's check it out! - Yeah, let's go, man!
Go!
Okay, Kemo Sabe. We're set.
It's time for you to do your Lone Ranger stuff.
Thanks, Rat.
Souvenir.
(HOWLS LIKE A DOG)
(HOWLING LIKE DOGS)
(GANG CONTINUE HOWLING)
Good luck, Mick.
Hey, Miguel, there is something going on outside, man.
There is all this weird howling.
(GANG HOWLING)
They're only kids, punks. Go get rid of them.
Don't start shooting at shadows. We don't want the cops around.
Do we?
(HOWLING CONTINUES)
(MAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)
Shit.
They don't even have machine guns, man.
Ah!
(MARTIAL ART NOISES)
(GRUNTS)
Yeah, like, he's cool.
(GANG MEMBERS CACKLING)
(WHISTLE)
(GRUNTS)
That's my man!
What's happening here?
What's going on here?
- I'm in. I'm in. What are we doing? - What are you, a penguin?
Who are these people?
There he goes.
LEROY: Damn! He's going in!
Hey. He's going in!
All right!
(CROWD CHEERS)
(GANG MEMBER HOWLING)
- What's happening? - Just some punk kids.
- They set off the alarm. - Check the house anyway.
(SCRATCHING)
(GASPS)
Mick.
(LEROY LAUGHING)
- Leroy! - Hey, Mick!
Thought you might need a hand.
It looks like you've already taken care of business.
MAN: Check out this party!
It don't fit.
Where did all these people come from?
MAN 2: Hey, Leroy. You throw a great party, man.
Better ask Leroy. He's in charge of the cavalry.
It's like, curiosity, my man.
Like, the word gets around,
that bad, bad Leroy Brown got something going down,
they can't stay away. I mean, with my reputation...
Mick, I gotta split.
Looks like explanation time.
How do you like your eggs, mate?
Over easy. Thanks, Mick.
- POLICEMAN: Morning, Miss Charlton. - Morning.
I was assigned to guard your door. Mick invited me in.
- Morning. - G'day.
Don't you have a post, mister?
Uh...
Yes, sir.
Do you mind? I'm starving.
Dig right in.
Got a fork? Thanks.
Well, we haven't found Rico yet.
He'll have skipped the country by now,
but he'll be back.
He has to, you don't walk away from a $100-million business.
Just how exactly was Bob involved in this?
He owed us a favor.
Here's the photos Bob took.
We can really stir things up with these.
Rico blew it when he kidnapped you.
With your help we can put him away for keeps.
So what happens now?
The first thing is to put you two into protective custody.
So we go to jail while Rico walks around free?
No. No, not jail. We'll hide you away somewhere safe.
You got any ketchup?
Till we get Rico off the streets.
Guys like that should be just taken out
- and shot. - (GUNSHOT)
Building across the street!
Roof, I think. Go, go! Move it!
- Is this what you call safe custody? - I didn't expect it to start so soon.
Yeah, well, maybe you can protect her, but I know I can.
But not here. Somewhere I can see 'em coming.
What have you got in mind?
WALTER: You see, the Northern Territory is wilderness.
Now, if any of you city folk went out there and got lost,
you would last about three days.
Gosh!
And you mean you were out there alone and wounded for 12 days, Mr. Reilly?
- Gator. - No, I wasn't really alone, you see, I...
I had old Bessie.
And how is old Bessie, Gator?
Mick! You're back!
You're back!
- I missed you. I missed you. - I know.
Sue! Sue Charlton.
Now, here's another one of your fellow countrymen.
She's a brilliant New York journalist.
She was the one that put Walkabout Creek on the international scene.
Good to see you again, Gator.
- Mick! You old bastard! - Donk! How are you?
G'day, mate! Bet you've got some stories to tell, eh?
Have I ever, son. Have I ever. But not on a dry throat.
- Ida? - The drinks are on the house.
That's a first!
So what were those New Yorkers like, Mick?
They were a lot like us, Nugget. A lot like us.
In fact, I saw Donk's twin brother over there, in New York,
in the Bronx Zoo.
- I don't have a brother. - (LAUGHTER)
In a cage, Donk!
- He's still quick, eh? - Nothing's changed.
Son of a bitch!
What's stopping you?
- Hey, what's stopping you? - Donk!
- Cheers, Mick! - Great to see you, again.
Luis.
Jefe.
It's like they jumped off the face of the planet.
Nobody knows nothing, not even the Feds.
Somebody knows.
Double the price. The girl's got to die.
But no one touches Dundee. He's for me.
Mick, this area we're in now, does it have a name?
Billongamick.
Billongamick. Does that mean something?
Mick's Place.
Okay, why does it mean that?
- Hmm. 'Cause I own it, I guess. - You own it?
Yeah, an uncle of mine left it to me years ago.
How big is Mick's Place?
It's not very big. You could walk across it in three or four days.
Three or four days! You can walk across New York State in two!
Yeah, but this is the Territory.
I mean, anything under 1,000 square miles up here is a hobby farm.
And Mick's Place, it's all swamps and rocky mountains.
The only thing you can raise around here are mosquitoes.
Well, I don't care if it is worthless. I'm glad it's yours, I love it.
I wouldn't say it's worthless. It does have some redeeming features.
Is this what I think it is?
Tomorrow, when we go up to my weekender,
I'll show you the Reserve Bank.
That's what I call my mine. It's like my retirement fund.
(LAUGHS)
Hey, Miguel!
It's been a long time, amigo.
(LAUGHS)
You look good, Frank.
This is Mr. Rico. He pays the bills.
How're you doin'?
That's Denning. And Erskine in the truck.
They're good men.
You didn't have to bring in extra help, Mr. Rico.
Me and my guys can take care of Dundee.
- You know him? - I heard of him.
Oh. That's Teddy. He's a tracker.
Dundee went bush about a week ago
and Teddy's the fella that's gonna help us find him.
The fella you're looking for, would that be Mick Dundee?
Yeah, so what?
For you.
Where's he going?
I don't know.
Denning, bring him back!
Come back!
He's gone!
Shit!
This holds us up, no?
Nah. No worries, Mr. Rico.
Maybe just a day or two till we pick us up another tracker.
What?
There's a quicker way.
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
This is the luxury holiday house?
Yeah.
- View's pretty good. - Yeah, it's not bad.
Probably double the value of this place.
That'd be $200,
$300, minimum.
Well, you're the only one I've ever brought here.
I'm so lucky to have a rich man like you.
What is it?
I think you'd better come with me.
(SHOTGUN FIRES)
Don't...
Dundee!
I know you're up there. Come down,
or I shoot your friend.
Shoot the dopey bastard!
(LAUGHS)
(GUNSHOT)
(GUNFIRE)
You shot Walter!
Yeah. It was all I could think of to save his life.
- By shooting him? - I only nicked him.
(GUNSHOTS)
Now we're all on foot. That makes us even.
Seven to two is even?
I thought you two were mates.
So did I.
Garcia, kill him.
(GRUNTS)
Wait.
Why would Dundee want you dead?
You know this country?
Well, of course, you see...
That's his backyard, up there.
And no man alive knows this place better.
Except perhaps me. (LAUGHS) I'm sorry.
So he shot his best mate?
What a bastard.
This man thinks like me.
Garcia, let him go.
You stay up front.
Let's go.
Yeah, that's what I'm looking for.
(GUNSHOTS)
Looks like they've found the shack.
- You think they'll find us? - Should do.
I left a trail even Wally could follow.
- Take your bra off. - This is hardly the time!
Hey! (LAUGHS) Look at this!
(LAUGHS)
(FRANK SCREAMS)
(GUNSHOTS)
(SCREAMING)
(GUNSHOTS)
You've lost 'em.
- You still know how to shoot. - Yeah, that was great.
If he moves, kill him.
Mick, the gun's empty. There's no more bullets.
But he doesn't know that. Not much you can do about it anyway.
Be back soon. I'll check on Wally.
Do you know where they are?
Yeah.
About 500 yards that way, behind that ridge.
How do you know that?
Can't you smell it?
Their sweat?
Wally's aftershave.
Where are you going?
We're camping. Do you want coffee or not?
(SIGHS)
(MAN SCREAMING)
- Come on! - I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming!
Garcia!
- What's happened? - Crocodile.
You're joking.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a croc. Big one.
16 feet.
See where he knelt to fill his canteen.
You think he was taken by un cocodrilo?
Well, you could put it like that, yes.
Look!
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
(SCOFFS)
There's nothing we can do here.
(GRUNTS)
You, get some water.
- Jose. - Huh?
Stay with him.
What's that?
I'm gonna make a telephone call. See who's about.
I think we're gonna need some help.
- Wanna give me a hand? - Would Bonnie say no to Clyde?
Who?
Ah. That's the tree.
There's the bats.
(CHITTERING)
Fill this up with those berries. I'll be up on top of the ridge.
(BUZZING)
(BUZZING CONTINUES)
(LOUDER BUZZING)
(BUZZING CONTINUES)
What the hell is that?
WALTER: Ah.
That is the mating call of the jarra jarra bird.
It's a very large native bird, it's very rare.
Ah. Meat eater.
Has been known to take small children away. (LAUGHS)
But don't worry, it won't come near the fire.
(MOSQUITO BUZZING)
Mick.
Thank God you're back. Did you hear that noise?
What noise?
I don't know. I never heard anything like it.
Oh. Wind, maybe.
What's in the bag?
A little present.
Smell.
Oh.
It stinks! Is it gonna work?
Oh, yeah. To a bat, this is like that Channel No. 5.
(LAUGHS)
I'll be back for dinner.
Keep an eye on the kids.
Listen, boys, you should be nice for the lady.
She's not here to guard you, she's here to protect you.
You see, you two aren't the only
crawler nasties in this place.
(ANIMALS CHIRPING)
LUIS: Dundee.
Tell me about him.
Well, there are bushmen and there's Mick Dundee.
See, he's more like an Aborigine than a white man.
He was adopted by Aborigines,
and he had to go through that initiation.
He knows about their magic.
Their black magic.
You know, some people say
that he talks to the animals.
(CHUCKLES)
The Aborigines call him
Jabajada Arderdah, which means,
"The crocodile who walks like a man."
(LAUGHS)
if what you say is true, it's lucky we brought the Kryptonite.
(MEN LAUGHING)
(SCREECHES LIKE BAT)
(BATS SCREECHING)
Look at that!
(SCREECHING CONTINUES)
Ahhh! Ahhh!
Ahhh!
(SCREECHING CONTINUES)
Ugh.
(GUNSHOT)
(SCREECHING STOPS)
Get some sleep.
- Gonna be a long day tomorrow. - Yeah.
Gonna be a long night, too.
Quick hands.
(GROANS)
Shit!
- What is it? - A snake. A bloody big snake.
It's just a python, you big girl.
Yeah, well, see how you like it if someone comes running out of the dark
and throws one at you.
- Dundee was here, in the camp? - Yeah. He ran straight through.
And you didn't even get a shot off?
Well, he came out of nowhere.
And he moved like lightning, and...
And there was no sound.
No sound at all.
(SQUAWKING)
Dundee's some sort of a ghost or something.
This Dundee likes to play games, Miguel.
Maybe we teach him some good games when it gets light.
(LAUGHS)
(MIGUEL SPEAKING SPANISH)
Come on, Jose, get up.
(MIGUEL GASPS)
I told you. Black magic.
Crap magic.
Sweep the area, and stick together.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
You!
He didn't fly in here and take Jose.
There must be tracks. Find them.
(GROANS)
Hey.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
We're headed in the right direction, mate.
- Let's get the hell out of this. - You got it.
Jaba Point?
You want me to lead them to Jaba Point?
Got it.
Oh.
I got it.
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay.
Well, I think we'd better get the others, now I know where he's headed.
Jaba Point, because there's fresh water there and caves.
What makes you so sure?
Because I understand how the bastard thinks.
I taught him.
And now I owe him one.
We'll see.
You stay in front of me,
- bushman. - Okay.
- How are you holding up, soldier? - Tired. A little scared.
But I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Fun, isn't it?
- Fun? - Yeah.
(WHISTLING)
Now you can get some sleep. Relief watch has arrived.
- Charlie, thanks for coming, mate. - Hello, Mick.
Telephone call.
Sue, this is Charlie.
And Diamond.
Crikey, Diamond, you must have a tapeworm!
Every time I see you, you've got food in your hand.
(LAUGHS)
We've been here since first light.
The two brothers are over there, looking out for them other fellas.
You keep an eye on this lot. I'm gonna go after Wally.
Okay, mate.
Can I help?
Well, I really wanted to get ahead of Wally.
I know, a sheila would only slow you down.
Mick.
Be careful. This isn't a game.
It is to me.
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
No, mate. We just hold them.
What did he say?
He wants to know if we're allowed to eat these men.
(GROANS)
We made the right decision, mate. Stuff the money.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I've had a bad feeling about this
ever since that old black tracker walked off.
(LAUGHS)
You know, I thought that greaser really did turn into a goanna.
Erskine?
Don't fool around.
Erskine!
He's headed for Jaba Point, that's for sure.
We cross here. You lead the way, amigo, we'll cover you.
Yeah.
(SCREAMS)
We don't need him now, anyway.
He's already shown us the way to Jaba Point.
We'll cross over here.
(GASPS)
(LAUGHS)
I knew it was you all the time.
First you shoot my head, now you try to drown me.
- You've been hit. - It's only a scratch, mate.
Listen, don't put that in the water,
'cause there might be real crocs down there.
Where do you think I got this fella?
In here.
- Should have seen your face, Wal. - What was the matter with it?
- You shit yourself. - I did not!
- Yes, you did. - No, I did not.
- You didn't know it was me. - Yeah, I did!
G'day. Want a cold one?
- Who the hell are you? - Call me Nugget.
I've been looking for Walter Reilly.
Haven't seen him around, have you?
You should have brought a gun instead of beer, mate.
Nah, I don't need a gun. I've got a Donk.
(LAUGHS)
You've got a what?
Donk.
(GRUNTS)
Walter! Over here!
There you are! I was just making sure that nobody followed me.
- How'd you get away? - Well, it was a piece of cake really.
It was just a question of timing, 'cause Mick and I had this plan.
- You've been shot again. - No, that's Mick's.
- What? - No...(CHUCKLES)
He's all right. It's just a scratch.
Where is he?
He's leading those other two mongrels up to Jaba Point.
That's mountain goat country,
so he's gonna have a picnic with those two!
Sue, what are you doing? Mick told us to wait here.
Mick thinks this is some big game. Rico didn't come here for a picnic.
Which way is it?
Well, I'll have to go with you.
Are you really enjoying that?
Nah. Needs garlic.
(THUDDING)
(GUNSHOTS)
It's time we stopped playing this bushman's game his way.
What do you mean?
This man can take us anytime he wants to.
No.
Now we finish it.
Think! When we were children,
did you chase a snake into the cane fields?
Move to those rocks and wait.
(COUGHS)
(COUGHING)
(COUGHS)
G'day, amigo.
Take your pants off.
SUE: He's got Mick!
(GUNSHOT)
Mick. (GASPS)
(GASPS)
If Mick want his clothes back,
he can climb down there and get it his bloody self.
What?
Mick's clothes.
We swapped it with that bastard, so we can flush the other fella out.
Plan was working till you turned up and shot Mick.
That's not Mick?
'Course not. There's Mick over there.
(GASPS)
Mick's bloody lucky you can't shoot straight, Wal.
You ready to go home now?
I am home.