1
00:01:26,861 --> 00:01:29,321
I believe in the Church
of Baseball.

2
00:01:29,406 --> 00:01:32,825
I've tried all the major religions
and most of the minor ones.

3
00:01:32,909 --> 00:01:36,245
I've worshipped Buddha,
Allah, Brahma, Vishnu,

4
00:01:36,288 --> 00:01:39,707
Siva, trees, mushrooms
and Isadora Duncan.

5
00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:41,834
I know things.

6
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:45,087
For instance, there are 108 beads
in a Catholic rosary

7
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:48,257
and there are 108
stitches in a baseball.

8
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:50,801
When I learned that,
I gave Jesus a chance.

9
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:56,765
But it just didn't work out between us.
The Lord laid too much guilt on me.

10
00:01:57,434 --> 00:02:00,185
I prefer metaphysics to theology.

11
00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:02,313
You see, there's no guilt in baseball

12
00:02:02,397 --> 00:02:06,150
and it's never boring,
which makes it like sex.

13
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:09,278
There's never been a ballplayer
who slept with me

14
00:02:09,321 --> 00:02:11,864
who didn't have
the best year of his career.

15
00:02:12,908 --> 00:02:15,492
Making love is like hitting a baseball,

16
00:02:15,577 --> 00:02:17,912
you just gotta relax and concentrate.

17
00:02:19,289 --> 00:02:22,207
Besides, I'd never sleep
with a player hitting under .250

18
00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:26,295
unless he had a lot of RBI's or was
a great glove man up the middle.

19
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:32,718
You see, there's a certain amount
of life wisdom I give these boys.

20
00:02:32,802 --> 00:02:35,054
I can expand their minds.

21
00:02:35,138 --> 00:02:37,056
Sometimes when I've got
a ballplayer alone

22
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:40,434
I'll just read Emily Dickinson
or Walt Whitman to him.

23
00:02:40,477 --> 00:02:43,938
And the guys are so sweet,
they always stay and listen.

24
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:47,691
Of course, a guy will listen
to anything if he thinks it's foreplay.

25
00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:52,529
I make them feel confident,
and they make me feel safe

26
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,657
and pretty.

27
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,160
Of course, what I give them
lasts a lifetime.

28
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:01,413
What they give me lasts 142 games.

29
00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:04,541
Sometimes it seems like a bad trade,

30
00:03:04,626 --> 00:03:06,835
but bad trades are part of baseball.

31
00:03:06,878 --> 00:03:11,048
Who can forget Frank Robinson
for Milt Pappas, for God's sake?

32
00:03:11,216 --> 00:03:14,301
It's a long season, and
you gotta trust it.

33
00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:16,178
I've tried them all, I really have.

34
00:03:16,221 --> 00:03:18,931
And the only church
that truly feeds the soul

35
00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:22,559
day in, day out, is the
Church of Baseball.

36
00:03:57,095 --> 00:03:58,596
[WHISTLES]

37
00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:01,432
Hey, Skip, that Max, hell of a guy.

38
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,059
Where's Ebby?

39
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,020
Ain't he warming up yet?

40
00:04:06,062 --> 00:04:09,607
No. His professional debut tonight,
and he forgets about it.

41
00:04:09,691 --> 00:04:11,942
Better find our "bonus baby."

42
00:04:12,944 --> 00:04:15,696
- Have you seen Ebby?
- No.

43
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,157
[CHUCKLES]

44
00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:25,080
Ebby!

45
00:04:25,790 --> 00:04:26,957
[WOMAN GIGGLING]

46
00:04:27,918 --> 00:04:30,044
Jesus.

47
00:04:30,086 --> 00:04:33,505
Game starts in four minutes.
Why ain't you warm?

48
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:34,632
I am warm.

49
00:04:34,716 --> 00:04:37,801
Jesus, Ebby, this is your
professional debut tonight.

50
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:40,930
Million guys give their left nut
to be in your shoes.

51
00:04:40,972 --> 00:04:44,099
You're leaving your fastball in
the locker room for some piece of ass.

52
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,268
Skip, it is me.

53
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:50,439
I am not some, quote,
"piece of ass," unquote.

54
00:04:50,941 --> 00:04:52,942
Oh, Millie.

55
00:04:53,443 --> 00:04:56,153
Jeez, sorry. Didn't recognize you.

56
00:04:57,614 --> 00:05:00,699
Don't take this personal, Millie,
but if I catch you in here again

57
00:05:00,784 --> 00:05:02,326
you're banned from the ballpark.

58
00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:06,538
You can't ban me from the ballpark
'cause my daddy donated that scoreboard.

59
00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:09,833
And if you ban me,
he just might take that scoreboard away.

60
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:12,211
What do we need a scoreboard for?

61
00:05:12,295 --> 00:05:14,463
We ain't scored any runs all year.

62
00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:16,924
Now you get your ass out there!

63
00:05:16,967 --> 00:05:18,801
Hey, boss, I got a question.

64
00:05:19,094 --> 00:05:20,344
What?

65
00:05:20,428 --> 00:05:22,680
You think I need a nickname?
I think I need a nickname.

66
00:05:22,764 --> 00:05:25,057
We were talking about it.
All the great ones have nicknames.

67
00:05:25,141 --> 00:05:27,434
Like "Oil Can," "Catfish."
What was the one you were...

68
00:05:27,477 --> 00:05:28,644
"Pokey."

69
00:05:28,687 --> 00:05:30,479
What do you think of "Pokey"?

70
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:33,148
You got three minutes.

71
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:36,110
Goddamn, son of a bitching,
motherfucking shithead!

72
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,153
Time for another quickie.

73
00:05:38,196 --> 00:05:40,906
Jesus, you got a game to pitch.

74
00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:43,033
We got three minutes.

75
00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:45,619
[ROCKAROUND THE CLOCK
PLAYING ON P.A.]

76
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,506
ANNOUNCER: Come on, folks.
Let's hear it for Max Patkin,

77
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,675
the clown prince of baseball.

78
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,802
You gonna sit there all day?

79
00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:04,013
And now, "The Greatest Show on Dirt,"

80
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:07,057
your own Durham Bulls!

81
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,851
[SPECTATORS CHEERING]

82
00:06:12,188 --> 00:06:15,024
I'm there. I'm ready.

83
00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:18,903
[TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME
PLAYING ON P.A.]

84
00:06:19,195 --> 00:06:21,405
MAN ON RADIO: And now
WRDU radio presents

85
00:06:21,489 --> 00:06:23,991
the voice of the Durham Bulls,
Teddy Garland.

86
00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:26,827
The Bulls off to a slow start,
having dropped their first three games.

87
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:29,622
But hope to turn it around tonight
with the professional debut

88
00:06:29,706 --> 00:06:33,542
of heralded young pitcher,
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.

89
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:35,544
[MAN YELLING]

90
00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:38,380
Millie, you gotta stay
out of the clubhouse.

91
00:06:38,423 --> 00:06:39,798
You're gonna get everybody in trouble.

92
00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:41,717
I got lured.

93
00:06:42,093 --> 00:06:44,219
You did not get lured.
Women do not get lured.

94
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,430
They are too strong and powerful for that.
Now say it,

95
00:06:46,514 --> 00:06:52,770
"I did not get lured.
I accept full responsibility for my actions."

96
00:06:52,854 --> 00:06:56,607
That's better. Okay. Now...
You got your radar ready?

97
00:06:56,691 --> 00:06:58,567
- Ready.
- Go to it.

98
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,989
Stepping in for the Peninsula White Sox
is leadoff hitter Willie Foster.

99
00:07:04,074 --> 00:07:06,158
Word on LaLoosh is that
the good-looking, young pitcher

100
00:07:06,243 --> 00:07:09,995
has a major-league fastball, but
sometimes has problems with his control.

101
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,414
[SPECTATORS CHEERING]

102
00:07:21,925 --> 00:07:22,967
[GLASS SHATTERING]

103
00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:25,928
Oh, my. Damn.

104
00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:29,515
One ball, no strike to Willie Foster.

105
00:07:30,892 --> 00:07:33,352
[MAN YELLING]

106
00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:36,689
No problem! No problem!

107
00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:39,692
Go get 'em, one, two, three, babe.
Get 'em, big guy.

108
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,653
Ninety-five miles an hour.

109
00:07:42,737 --> 00:07:45,281
That's great. He looks just great.

110
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,740
[FANS WHISTLING]

111
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:49,910
[GROANS]

112
00:07:50,287 --> 00:07:51,704
[CROWD BOOING]

113
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:58,294
ANNOUNCER: Stepping in for the Peninsula
White Sox, second baseman Allen Powley.

114
00:07:58,378 --> 00:07:59,712
What's it say?

115
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:03,299
It says he's not bending his back
on his follow-through.

116
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:08,304
Scotty, baby, take this to Ebby Calvin.

117
00:08:09,806 --> 00:08:13,934
All right, honey, let's get down to it.
How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?

118
00:08:13,977 --> 00:08:16,353
Well, he fucks like he pitches.

119
00:08:16,438 --> 00:08:19,106
Sort of all over the place.

120
00:08:44,299 --> 00:08:46,008
My!

121
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,137
[GRUNTS]

122
00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:56,936
He walked 1 8.

123
00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:59,104
A new league record.

124
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,317
- Struck out 1 8.
- Another new league record.

125
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,694
In addition, he hit the sportswriter,

126
00:09:05,737 --> 00:09:08,864
the public address announcer,
the Bull mascot twice.

127
00:09:08,907 --> 00:09:11,700
Also, new league records.

128
00:09:11,868 --> 00:09:12,868
[SIGHS]

129
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:18,499
But, Joe, this guy's
got some serious shit.

130
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:22,419
- Yeah, serious shit. Yes.
- Yeah.

131
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,171
[AIR HISSING]

132
00:09:28,718 --> 00:09:31,136
Who are you? Who's he?

133
00:09:31,221 --> 00:09:33,722
I'm "the player to be named later."

134
00:09:34,015 --> 00:09:37,226
Crash Davis? I'm Joe Riggins.

135
00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:40,354
And you, Larry Hockett,
should recognize me

136
00:09:40,397 --> 00:09:43,566
'cause five years ago
in the Texas League

137
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:46,735
you were pitching for El Paso,
I was hitting clean-up for Shreveport.

138
00:09:46,778 --> 00:09:49,905
You hung a curveball
on an 0-2 pitch in a 3-2 game

139
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,701
in the bottom of the eighth,
and I tattooed it

140
00:09:54,286 --> 00:09:56,787
over the Michelin tire
sign, beat you 4-3.

141
00:09:56,871 --> 00:09:58,789
I remember.
I should have thrown a slider.

142
00:09:58,873 --> 00:10:00,791
Damn, Crash, how you doing?

143
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:03,168
I'm too old for this shit.

144
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,255
Why the hell am I back in A ball?

145
00:10:06,298 --> 00:10:09,717
'Cause of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.

146
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,677
Big club's got 1 00 grand in him.

147
00:10:11,761 --> 00:10:14,638
He's got a million-dollar arm
with a five-cent head.

148
00:10:15,098 --> 00:10:17,016
Had a gun on him tonight.

149
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,352
Last five pitches he threw
were faster than the first five.

150
00:10:20,979 --> 00:10:24,148
He's got the best young arm
I've seen in 30 years.

151
00:10:24,441 --> 00:10:25,941
You've been around.

152
00:10:25,984 --> 00:10:28,319
You're smart. You're a professional.

153
00:10:29,446 --> 00:10:31,530
We want you to mature the kid.

154
00:10:31,615 --> 00:10:34,283
We want you to room with him
on the road.

155
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,369
Stay on his case all year.
He can go all the way.

156
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:38,537
[SIGHS]

157
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:41,498
Yeah? Where can I go?

158
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:45,252
You can keep going to the ballpark
and keep getting paid to do it.

159
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,005
Beats the hell out of working at Sears.

160
00:10:48,089 --> 00:10:52,301
Sears sucks, Crash.
I once worked there. Sold Lady Kenmores.

161
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,303
Nasty... Nasty work.

162
00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:58,891
Even if it is the Carolina League
this is a chance to play every day.

163
00:10:58,975 --> 00:11:01,310
You don't want a player.
You want a stable pony.

164
00:11:01,353 --> 00:11:02,394
No.

165
00:11:02,479 --> 00:11:04,146
Well, my AAA contract gets bought out

166
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,815
so I can hold the flavor-of-the-month's
dick in the bus leagues.

167
00:11:06,858 --> 00:11:09,735
Is that it? Fuck this fucking game!

168
00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:22,331
I fucking quit, all right? I quit.

169
00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:41,976
Who we play tomorrow?

170
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:45,688
Winston-Salem. Batting practice, 11 :30.

171
00:11:49,693 --> 00:11:52,194
So, how's it feel to get
your first professional win?

172
00:11:52,237 --> 00:11:55,489
It feels out there. It's a major rush.

173
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:58,951
I mean, it doesn't just feel out there,
it feels out there.

174
00:11:59,703 --> 00:12:02,621
Kind of radical in a kind
of tubular way, you know.

175
00:12:02,706 --> 00:12:04,540
But most of all, it's out there.

176
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:08,961
This is hopeless.
This is utterly, fucking hopeless.

177
00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:11,714
[COUNTRY MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO]

178
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,726
Hey, I'm Millie.

179
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:27,730
- I'm Tony. I play second base.
- I know.

180
00:12:28,106 --> 00:12:31,901
Max, how do you just keep
coming back every year?

181
00:12:32,861 --> 00:12:36,071
'Cause I love the game, Annie.
I love it.

182
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,198
- Here you go.
- We didn't order these, honey.

183
00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:39,992
- He did.
- Who?

184
00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:41,911
The guy in the booth.

185
00:12:45,582 --> 00:12:46,999
Who's that?

186
00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:51,295
That's Crash Davis.
Hey, Crash, come here.

187
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:52,963
Come over here.

188
00:12:54,925 --> 00:12:56,800
He's kind of cute.

189
00:12:56,885 --> 00:12:59,303
MAX: [CHUCKLING] He's played
in more ballparks than I have.

190
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:00,721
Hell of a guy.

191
00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:02,598
He's really different.

192
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:06,393
I actually saw him read a book
without pictures once.

193
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,312
[LAUGHING]

194
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:11,106
- Hi, Max.
- How you doing, Crash?

195
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,776
Come over and sit down.

196
00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:16,237
I'm Crash.

197
00:13:16,279 --> 00:13:19,114
Annie Savoy. Wanna dance?

198
00:13:19,157 --> 00:13:20,616
I don't dance.

199
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,576
How embarrassing.

200
00:13:25,914 --> 00:13:28,123
What is that?

201
00:13:41,263 --> 00:13:45,224
- Who's he dancing with?
- All of them, I think.

202
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,823
- You Annie Savoy?
- Uh-huh.

203
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:03,117
Thanks for your note. You're right.
I wasn't bending my back.

204
00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:06,704
- You got a live arm there.
- Thanks.

205
00:14:06,788 --> 00:14:09,206
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.

206
00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:11,000
You need a nickname, honey.

207
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,168
You know, I've been
telling everybody that.

208
00:14:13,295 --> 00:14:14,336
[LAUGHS]

209
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,505
- You wanna dance?
- Yeah.

210
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,841
She's dancing with me.

211
00:14:18,883 --> 00:14:21,051
Afraid not, pal.

212
00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:24,138
You boys gonna fight over little old me?

213
00:14:27,058 --> 00:14:28,851
- No.
- Let's go.

214
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:31,061
Step outside and party, man.

215
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:38,068
Don't be such guys. Max, let's dance.

216
00:14:46,077 --> 00:14:48,203
You coming or not, homeboy?

217
00:15:01,343 --> 00:15:04,386
Let's go, man. Come on. We're waiting.

218
00:15:04,846 --> 00:15:07,306
- Let's go, homeboy.
- Come on, Ebby. There he is.

219
00:15:07,432 --> 00:15:08,432
[ALL CHATTERING]

220
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:20,194
Look, I don't believe in fighting.
Let's just...

221
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,403
[ALL MOCKING]

222
00:15:21,696 --> 00:15:25,407
That's really sweet. "I don't believe..."
Fuck you, you pussy.

223
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:26,575
[MAN CLUCKING]

224
00:15:28,245 --> 00:15:31,580
All right. Take the first shot at me.

225
00:15:31,623 --> 00:15:34,083
No way, man. I don't hit no man first.

226
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,255
All right, then.

227
00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:43,467
Hit me in the chest with that.

228
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:44,927
[ALL MUMBLING]

229
00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:47,721
I'd kill you.

230
00:15:47,764 --> 00:15:50,349
Yeah? From what I hear,
you couldn't hit water

231
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:52,434
if you fell out of a fucking boat.

232
00:15:52,602 --> 00:15:53,769
[MAN YELPS]

233
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,062
[ALL LAUGHING]

234
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,440
Throw it, man.

235
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:01,318
Throw it, come on. Right in the chest.

236
00:16:01,403 --> 00:16:03,654
- No way.
- Come on, Meat.

237
00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:04,780
You're not gonna hit me

238
00:16:04,823 --> 00:16:07,616
'cause you're starting
to think about it already.

239
00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:10,160
Starting to think
how embarrassing it would be

240
00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:13,956
to miss in front of all these people,
how somebody might laugh.

241
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,959
Come on, rook.
Show us that million-dollar arm

242
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:21,714
'cause I got a good idea
about that five-cent head of yours.

243
00:16:21,798 --> 00:16:23,924
MAN 1 : Nail him, drop him.
MAN 2: Hit him, man! Hit him!

244
00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:29,263
Fuck!

245
00:16:31,308 --> 00:16:32,474
Ball four.

246
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,893
Who the fuck are you, man?

247
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:41,984
Good punch.

248
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,986
I'm Crash Davis. I'm your new catcher

249
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:48,115
and you just got lesson number one,
don't think.

250
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,743
It can only hurt the ball club.

251
00:16:51,912 --> 00:16:52,912
[GROANS]

252
00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:59,168
Come inside, I'll buy you a drink.

253
00:16:59,502 --> 00:17:01,003
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

254
00:17:06,051 --> 00:17:07,843
He's my new catcher.

255
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:22,483
We fight, she gets the clown.
How's that happen?

256
00:17:23,026 --> 00:17:25,027
God, I like this song.

257
00:17:26,488 --> 00:17:27,738
[PEOPLE CLAPPING]

258
00:17:33,203 --> 00:17:34,203
[CHUCKLES]

259
00:17:36,831 --> 00:17:39,375
Did you boys stop fighting?

260
00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:41,543
Pals now?

261
00:17:41,586 --> 00:17:43,712
That's good.

262
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:47,091
I love a little macho male bonding.

263
00:17:47,175 --> 00:17:49,134
I think it's sweet. I do.

264
00:17:49,219 --> 00:17:52,179
Even if it probably is latent
homosexuality being rechanneled.

265
00:17:52,222 --> 00:17:55,224
I'm all for rechanneling,
so who cares, right?

266
00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:01,981
Okay, shall we go to my place?

267
00:18:03,775 --> 00:18:07,861
- Which one of us?
- Both of you, of course.

268
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:43,689
[SIGHS]

269
00:18:44,399 --> 00:18:46,275
These are the ground rules.

270
00:18:46,318 --> 00:18:47,985
I hook up with one guy a season.

271
00:18:48,069 --> 00:18:50,446
Usually takes me a couple weeks
to pick the guy.

272
00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:52,865
It's kind of my own spring training.

273
00:18:52,949 --> 00:18:57,620
Well, you two are the most promising
prospects of the season so far.

274
00:18:58,788 --> 00:19:01,498
So, I just thought we should kind of
get to know each other.

275
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:05,127
Time-out. Why do you get to choose?

276
00:19:05,754 --> 00:19:07,963
- Why?
- Why do you get to choose?

277
00:19:08,048 --> 00:19:10,966
Why don't I get to choose?
Why doesn't he get to choose?

278
00:19:11,051 --> 00:19:14,970
Actually, nobody on this planet
ever really chooses each other.

279
00:19:15,263 --> 00:19:19,224
It's all a question of quantum physics,
molecular attraction and timing.

280
00:19:19,309 --> 00:19:23,145
There are laws we don't understand
that bring us together and tear us apart.

281
00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,731
It's like pheromones.

282
00:19:25,815 --> 00:19:28,609
You get three ants together,
they can't do dick.

283
00:19:28,693 --> 00:19:32,279
You get 300 million of them,
they can build a cathedral.

284
00:19:33,823 --> 00:19:34,990
[CHUCKLES]

285
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,660
So is somebody gonna go to bed
with somebody or what?

286
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,120
Honey, you are a regular
nuclear meltdown.

287
00:19:40,163 --> 00:19:41,997
You better cool off.

288
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,460
Wait a minute. Where you going?

289
00:19:47,045 --> 00:19:50,130
After 12 years in the minor leagues,
I don't try out.

290
00:19:50,173 --> 00:19:51,924
Besides,

291
00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:55,970
I don't believe in quantum physics
when it comes to matters of the heart.

292
00:19:56,346 --> 00:19:58,597
What do you believe in, then?

293
00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:04,019
Well, I believe in the soul,
the cock, the pussy,

294
00:20:04,062 --> 00:20:06,146
the small of a woman's back,

295
00:20:06,189 --> 00:20:09,108
the hanging curveball,
high fiber, good Scotch,

296
00:20:09,192 --> 00:20:12,695
that the novels of Susan Sontag
are self-indulgent, overrated crap.

297
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:14,863
I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

298
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:17,199
I believe there ought to be
a constitutional amendment

299
00:20:17,242 --> 00:20:19,535
outlawing AstroTurf
and the designated hitter.

300
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,580
I believe in the sweet spot,
soft-core pornography,

301
00:20:22,664 --> 00:20:25,291
opening your presents Christmas morning
rather than Christmas Eve

302
00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:30,212
and I believe in long, slow, deep,
soft, wet kisses that last three days.

303
00:20:32,173 --> 00:20:33,966
Good night.

304
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:35,342
Oh, my.

305
00:20:36,553 --> 00:20:37,595
Crash.

306
00:20:37,679 --> 00:20:40,264
Hey, Annie, what's all
this molecule stuff?

307
00:20:40,348 --> 00:20:41,599
ANNIE: Crash.

308
00:20:42,892 --> 00:20:45,644
Crash, wait! All's I want is a date.

309
00:20:45,729 --> 00:20:47,980
I'm not gonna fall in love
with you or nothing.

310
00:20:48,064 --> 00:20:51,609
I'm not interested in a woman
who's interested in that boy.

311
00:20:51,693 --> 00:20:52,860
Good night.

312
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,321
- I'm not interested yet.
- Who you calling a boy?

313
00:20:55,405 --> 00:20:57,031
See you at the yard, Meat.

314
00:20:57,073 --> 00:21:00,242
Damn, nobody's ever said no
to a date with me before.

315
00:21:00,702 --> 00:21:02,536
He's crazy.

316
00:21:02,579 --> 00:21:04,163
I want you bad.

317
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:15,049
Honey, hold on. Slow down.

318
00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:18,344
[GIGGLING] I wanna watch.

319
00:21:21,556 --> 00:21:23,599
Go ahead. Put it back on.

320
00:21:24,976 --> 00:21:27,478
Jesus, what kind of chick are you?

321
00:21:28,897 --> 00:21:32,274
When you know how to make love,
then you'll know how to pitch.

322
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,110
I know how to pitch.

323
00:21:35,987 --> 00:21:37,488
Good.

324
00:21:37,614 --> 00:21:40,324
Now take it off slowly.

325
00:21:51,169 --> 00:21:52,169
[GIGGLES]

326
00:21:53,797 --> 00:21:55,172
That's nice.

327
00:22:02,138 --> 00:22:05,140
Oh, my, what a nice back.

328
00:22:06,810 --> 00:22:10,646
Honey. Sweetheart.

329
00:22:10,772 --> 00:22:13,357
Try taking off your
shoes and socks first.

330
00:22:13,441 --> 00:22:15,985
My socks? It's cold in here.

331
00:22:17,612 --> 00:22:18,654
What?

332
00:22:18,697 --> 00:22:21,657
You think Dwight Gooden
leaves his socks on?

333
00:22:53,565 --> 00:22:54,982
Ebby, honey.

334
00:22:57,611 --> 00:23:00,029
Have you ever been tied up in bed?

335
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:07,202
[TRAIN HORN BLARING]

336
00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:30,392
[WHOOPING]

337
00:23:30,685 --> 00:23:32,937
Bring it on, baby!

338
00:23:33,021 --> 00:23:34,897
I heard about shit like this.

339
00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:36,899
You ever heard about Walt Whitman?

340
00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:38,609
Who does he play for?

341
00:23:38,693 --> 00:23:40,736
He sort of pitches for
the Cosmic All-Stars.

342
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:43,072
- Never heard of him.
- Oh, good.

343
00:23:43,114 --> 00:23:44,406
Listen to this.

344
00:23:47,744 --> 00:23:49,912
"I sing the body electric

345
00:23:49,996 --> 00:23:53,874
"The armies of those I love engirth me
and I engirth them

346
00:23:54,417 --> 00:23:57,753
"They will not let me off
till I go with them, respond to them

347
00:23:57,837 --> 00:24:01,340
"And discorrupt them and charge them
full with the charge of the soul.

348
00:24:04,636 --> 00:24:09,473
"But the expression of a well-made man
appears not only in his face

349
00:24:09,683 --> 00:24:12,351
"it is in his limbs and joints also."

350
00:24:12,435 --> 00:24:13,936
- Excuse me.
- "It is..."

351
00:24:15,438 --> 00:24:17,606
Are we gonna fuck or what?

352
00:24:19,943 --> 00:24:24,863
"It is curiously in the joints
of his hips and wrists

353
00:24:25,115 --> 00:24:28,367
"love-flesh swelling and
deliciously aching.

354
00:24:28,451 --> 00:24:33,455
"Limitless limpid jets of love,
hot and enormous."

355
00:24:34,124 --> 00:24:35,666
[PLAYERS CHATTERING]

356
00:24:40,964 --> 00:24:44,300
Listen up, guys.
Can I have your attention a minute?

357
00:24:44,342 --> 00:24:46,677
I'm gonna be leading a daily chapel
service here in the locker room

358
00:24:46,761 --> 00:24:49,054
- at 3:00 in the afternoon.
- Amen, brother!

359
00:24:49,139 --> 00:24:52,308
Y'all are invited to stop on by
and worship before batting practice.

360
00:24:52,350 --> 00:24:55,185
Jimmy, God damn it.
Loosen up and get laid.

361
00:24:57,147 --> 00:25:02,860
I know y'all think I'm pretty square,
but I believe what I believe.

362
00:25:04,487 --> 00:25:05,821
[PLAYER WHISTLES]

363
00:25:06,156 --> 00:25:09,325
Jesus, Ebby, you look like
a truck ran over you.

364
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,537
Nuke. Call me Nuke.

365
00:25:14,331 --> 00:25:16,832
Annie says it's my new nickname.

366
00:25:16,875 --> 00:25:19,501
Okay, Nuke. Go get 'em.

367
00:25:19,628 --> 00:25:21,795
Annie nailed you? Annie did?

368
00:25:21,838 --> 00:25:24,214
That's great. That means
you're gonna have a great year.

369
00:25:24,299 --> 00:25:28,677
Is she as good as they say?

370
00:25:30,388 --> 00:25:32,473
No, man, we didn't fuck.

371
00:25:33,850 --> 00:25:36,685
No, she read poetry to me all night.

372
00:25:36,895 --> 00:25:39,188
It's more tiring than fucking.

373
00:25:42,192 --> 00:25:43,192
[NUKE GROANS]

374
00:25:44,444 --> 00:25:46,612
"Limpid jets of love."

375
00:25:48,531 --> 00:25:52,576
Hey, Crash.
Does that mean what I think it means?

376
00:25:52,661 --> 00:25:54,203
"Limpid jets of love."

377
00:25:54,246 --> 00:25:56,872
Your shower shoes have fungus on them.

378
00:25:56,915 --> 00:26:01,168
You'll never make it to the bigs
with fungus on your shower shoes.

379
00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:03,837
Think classy, you'll be classy.

380
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,589
If you win 20 in the Show

381
00:26:05,674 --> 00:26:08,217
you can let the fungus
grow back on your shower shoes

382
00:26:08,260 --> 00:26:10,511
and the press will
think you're colorful.

383
00:26:10,553 --> 00:26:15,516
Until you win 20 in the Show,
however, it means you're a slob.

384
00:26:20,397 --> 00:26:21,730
ANNOUNCER: Y'all don't forget

385
00:26:21,815 --> 00:26:24,942
Saturday is Bull Day
down at the Northgate Mall.

386
00:26:26,611 --> 00:26:27,695
Strike!

387
00:26:27,737 --> 00:26:30,781
Whoa, too bad, Butch. Too bad.

388
00:26:30,865 --> 00:26:31,907
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING ON P.A.]

389
00:26:32,158 --> 00:26:33,242
Charge!

390
00:26:35,370 --> 00:26:38,038
Not getting that cheese by me, Meat.

391
00:26:38,290 --> 00:26:42,501
And now batting for the Bulls,
number eight, Crash Davis.

392
00:26:44,713 --> 00:26:46,338
[CROWD CHEERING]

393
00:26:52,596 --> 00:26:53,929
Foul ball!

394
00:26:54,431 --> 00:26:56,599
God, stupid fuck, Crash.

395
00:26:56,683 --> 00:26:58,601
What'd you swing at a breaking ball for?

396
00:26:58,685 --> 00:26:59,977
Fuck me.

397
00:27:04,691 --> 00:27:07,067
You usually start me off with a hammer.

398
00:27:07,277 --> 00:27:11,238
CRASH: You're thinking too much, Crash.
Get out of your fucking head.

399
00:27:11,281 --> 00:27:13,073
Don't let him in your kitchen.

400
00:27:13,116 --> 00:27:16,827
Come on, Crash. Just relax.
You got it, honey.

401
00:27:16,912 --> 00:27:19,538
All right, here we go. Stay back. Relax.

402
00:27:19,623 --> 00:27:21,457
Quick bat. Quick bat.

403
00:27:22,459 --> 00:27:23,667
Foul ball!

404
00:27:28,173 --> 00:27:31,967
Throw that shit again, Meat.
Throw that weak-ass shit again.

405
00:27:32,719 --> 00:27:34,803
Okay, he's got vision there.
Get close, baby, you got it.

406
00:27:34,888 --> 00:27:36,722
One more, baby, one more.
You got him.

407
00:27:37,349 --> 00:27:40,142
All right, he's gonna
throw the deuce now.

408
00:27:40,185 --> 00:27:41,852
He's gotta waste one.

409
00:27:41,937 --> 00:27:45,522
Stay back and wipe
that silly grin off his face.

410
00:27:45,607 --> 00:27:48,234
Come on. Bring it. Bring it.

411
00:27:48,944 --> 00:27:50,069
Jesus Christ!

412
00:27:50,153 --> 00:27:52,154
What was that? What the hell was that?

413
00:27:52,239 --> 00:27:53,948
What goes around, comes around.

414
00:27:53,990 --> 00:27:55,866
Son of a bitch throws hard.

415
00:27:56,243 --> 00:27:57,243
[CHUCKLES]

416
00:27:57,994 --> 00:28:00,829
It's okay, Crash.
You take it easy, honey.

417
00:28:01,581 --> 00:28:02,957
BOY: Go, Crash!

418
00:28:03,208 --> 00:28:07,127
All right, one and two.
You can hit this shit. Relax.

419
00:28:07,170 --> 00:28:09,171
Annie. Annie.

420
00:28:09,756 --> 00:28:11,674
Annie. Who's this Annie?

421
00:28:11,883 --> 00:28:14,677
Jesus, get out of the box, you idiot.
Where's your head?

422
00:28:14,761 --> 00:28:16,512
Get the broad out of your head!

423
00:28:16,554 --> 00:28:18,180
- Time out!
- Time out!

424
00:28:19,307 --> 00:28:20,599
[PEOPLE YELLING]

425
00:28:21,184 --> 00:28:22,685
Give me a rag.

426
00:28:25,438 --> 00:28:27,231
Get a hit, Crash.

427
00:28:27,983 --> 00:28:29,149
Shut up.

428
00:28:30,527 --> 00:28:31,777
[CHUCKLES]

429
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,785
All right, you've seen all his pitches.

430
00:28:39,995 --> 00:28:41,704
You've seen them all.

431
00:28:41,788 --> 00:28:46,125
Shorten up, Crash.
Bring me the gas, kid.

432
00:28:46,209 --> 00:28:49,128
Bring me the gas.

433
00:28:51,006 --> 00:28:53,048
Quick bat. Quick bat. Quick bat.

434
00:28:53,466 --> 00:28:54,717
UMPIRE: Strike!

435
00:29:00,056 --> 00:29:02,933
Scotty, baby, take this to Crash.

436
00:29:03,977 --> 00:29:07,313
ANNOUNCER: Folks,
we have a little lost girl up here.

437
00:29:07,397 --> 00:29:10,733
Says her name is Lana Ann Baker.

438
00:29:11,359 --> 00:29:13,402
- She'll be waiting...
- It's for Crash.

439
00:29:13,445 --> 00:29:15,279
...at the ticket box
for her daddy, Cedar Baker.

440
00:29:15,363 --> 00:29:17,573
- Cedar, come on and get your little girl.
- Crash.

441
00:29:17,616 --> 00:29:20,117
- What?
- From Annie.

442
00:29:20,201 --> 00:29:21,535
Read it.

443
00:29:25,248 --> 00:29:30,544
"Dear Crash, you have a lovely swing
but you're pulling your hips out too early.

444
00:29:30,587 --> 00:29:34,506
"I'd be happy to meet with you tomorrow
at the batting cage to discuss it."

445
00:29:34,591 --> 00:29:36,175
Signed, "Annie."

446
00:29:37,093 --> 00:29:39,762
If there's one chick who'd know
you were pulling your hips out early

447
00:29:39,846 --> 00:29:41,388
it'd be Annie.

448
00:29:49,898 --> 00:29:52,566
It's kind of a personal note, kid,
so don't read it.

449
00:29:52,609 --> 00:29:54,151
There you go.

450
00:30:02,702 --> 00:30:04,495
Here, Millie.

451
00:30:04,579 --> 00:30:06,080
What's it say?

452
00:30:07,290 --> 00:30:11,543
It says,
"I wanna make love to you. Crash."

453
00:30:12,045 --> 00:30:13,337
Oh, my.

454
00:30:19,219 --> 00:30:20,302
[BELL DINGS]

455
00:30:22,264 --> 00:30:24,723
- See my hips?
- Yep.

456
00:30:26,142 --> 00:30:29,687
And I think Susan Sontag is brilliant.

457
00:30:31,147 --> 00:30:33,691
Is this gonna happen? Us?

458
00:30:34,651 --> 00:30:35,651
[BELL DINGING]

459
00:30:35,986 --> 00:30:38,612
I'm committed to Nuke for the season.

460
00:30:41,116 --> 00:30:43,701
You had your chance the other day.

461
00:30:44,035 --> 00:30:45,578
What is it you see in this guy?

462
00:30:45,704 --> 00:30:49,290
He's a young, wild,

463
00:30:49,833 --> 00:30:51,625
dim pretty boy.

464
00:30:51,668 --> 00:30:54,795
Young men are uncomplicated.

465
00:30:54,838 --> 00:30:58,841
And he's not dim.
He's just inexperienced.

466
00:30:59,676 --> 00:31:04,805
It's my job to give him life wisdom and
help him get on to the major leagues.

467
00:31:04,848 --> 00:31:07,391
That's funny, that's my job, too.

468
00:31:08,184 --> 00:31:09,685
Damn!

469
00:31:11,563 --> 00:31:12,730
You're pulling your hips.

470
00:31:12,814 --> 00:31:16,734
I know.
I know, I know, but they're nice hips.

471
00:31:17,068 --> 00:31:19,403
- I looked up your records.
- You what?

472
00:31:19,487 --> 00:31:22,364
You hit 227 home runs in the minors.

473
00:31:22,699 --> 00:31:25,868
- That's not bad.
- Don't tell anybody.

474
00:31:25,952 --> 00:31:27,786
Why not? You hit 20 more this year

475
00:31:27,871 --> 00:31:29,830
you're gonna be the all-time
minor-league champ.

476
00:31:29,873 --> 00:31:31,457
The record's 246.

477
00:31:31,541 --> 00:31:37,671
Well, 247 home runs in the minor-leagues
would be a kind of dubious honor.

478
00:31:37,714 --> 00:31:40,382
I think it would be great.
The Sporting News should know about it.

479
00:31:40,467 --> 00:31:43,886
No. Just no. Please.

480
00:31:45,055 --> 00:31:46,388
Okay.

481
00:31:47,933 --> 00:31:51,852
Last chance, your place or mine?

482
00:31:52,145 --> 00:31:55,064
Despite my rejection
of most Judeo-Christian ethics

483
00:31:55,106 --> 00:31:58,943
I am, within the framework
of the baseball season, monogamous.

484
00:32:01,071 --> 00:32:02,738
- Give me a break.
- It's true.

485
00:32:02,781 --> 00:32:03,989
Stop it.

486
00:32:06,826 --> 00:32:09,245
Jeez, the fact is

487
00:32:09,287 --> 00:32:11,789
you're afraid of meeting a guy like me,
'cause it might be real

488
00:32:11,873 --> 00:32:15,793
so you sabotage it with some,
what is it, bullshit

489
00:32:15,877 --> 00:32:18,796
about commitment to a young boy
you can boss around.

490
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,590
- That's a great deal.
- Nice.

491
00:32:21,675 --> 00:32:26,053
I know women like you.

492
00:32:26,513 --> 00:32:28,681
You're a regular patron saint, you know.

493
00:32:28,765 --> 00:32:31,934
Stray cats, lost causes

494
00:32:32,018 --> 00:32:35,479
or 6'3" homeless studs.

495
00:32:36,273 --> 00:32:38,774
Oh, Crash, you do make speeches.

496
00:32:41,319 --> 00:32:42,653
[ANNIE MOANING]

497
00:32:50,328 --> 00:32:51,328
ANNIE: My!

498
00:32:53,081 --> 00:32:54,081
[ANNIE SIGHS]

499
00:32:54,416 --> 00:32:56,584
Crash, that was fabulous.

500
00:32:58,587 --> 00:32:59,795
Crash?

501
00:33:00,964 --> 00:33:03,799
You mean Nuke. You said, "Crash."

502
00:33:05,510 --> 00:33:10,097
No, honey, I said, "Nuke."

503
00:33:10,140 --> 00:33:12,683
- You said, "Crash."
- Oh, no.

504
00:33:13,184 --> 00:33:15,311
Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn't
listen to what a woman says

505
00:33:15,395 --> 00:33:18,522
when she's in the throes of passion.

506
00:33:18,607 --> 00:33:20,816
They say the dandiest things.

507
00:33:20,859 --> 00:33:22,651
Yeah, you said, "Crash."

508
00:33:24,279 --> 00:33:25,654
Honey,

509
00:33:26,197 --> 00:33:28,657
would you rather I�d be making love
to him using your name

510
00:33:28,700 --> 00:33:32,328
or making love to you using his name?

511
00:33:32,412 --> 00:33:33,454
[CHUCKLING]

512
00:33:37,709 --> 00:33:39,835
Yeah, maybe you're right.

513
00:33:40,921 --> 00:33:41,921
[CHUCKLES]

514
00:33:42,923 --> 00:33:46,508
Welcome to the Eastern Seaboard
Tobacco Growers

515
00:33:46,593 --> 00:33:49,595
City Council Little
League Cash Drop Day.

516
00:33:49,679 --> 00:33:53,974
These young fellas, young men,
I should say, over here to my left...

517
00:33:54,017 --> 00:33:57,019
Hi, 1 8. Hi, 12.

518
00:33:57,103 --> 00:33:58,562
Hey, Dino.

519
00:34:03,276 --> 00:34:04,860
Hey, Millie.

520
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:11,033
Hey. I'm Millie.

521
00:34:11,743 --> 00:34:13,202
I'm married.

522
00:34:14,037 --> 00:34:15,496
[PLAYERS CHATTERING]

523
00:34:20,627 --> 00:34:23,545
- What is that?
- Chicken bone cross.

524
00:34:24,464 --> 00:34:27,216
Takes the curse off the bat
that brings me hits.

525
00:34:27,550 --> 00:34:30,094
What are you, a goddamn witch?

526
00:34:30,220 --> 00:34:33,222
Yes, a switch-hitting witch.

527
00:34:34,808 --> 00:34:36,600
Will that work for me?

528
00:34:36,685 --> 00:34:38,686
If you believe in voodoo.

529
00:34:38,728 --> 00:34:41,522
Jose, I am zero for 16.

530
00:34:41,564 --> 00:34:43,774
A big fucking donut hole for 16.

531
00:34:43,858 --> 00:34:46,402
I can't remember the last time
I had a base hit.

532
00:34:46,444 --> 00:34:48,279
Come on, man.
Let me have some of that stuff.

533
00:34:48,363 --> 00:34:50,906
Man, that is not belief.
That's desperation.

534
00:34:50,991 --> 00:34:54,243
Jose, come on. Just touch my bat once.

535
00:34:55,745 --> 00:34:58,080
Come on, just once.
I won't bother you the rest of the day.

536
00:34:58,123 --> 00:35:00,082
I swear to God. Just touch the bat once.

537
00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:04,336
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
five, four

538
00:35:04,421 --> 00:35:07,923
three, two, one.

539
00:35:07,966 --> 00:35:10,593
Let her go!

540
00:35:10,635 --> 00:35:13,721
One thousand big ones!

541
00:35:13,847 --> 00:35:15,264
[CROWD CHEERING]

542
00:35:15,348 --> 00:35:16,932
[ORGAN PLAYING]

543
00:35:24,357 --> 00:35:25,774
[PLAYERS CHATTERING]

544
00:35:27,235 --> 00:35:29,695
SPECTATOR 1 : That batter ain't nothing.
Come on, Nuke.

545
00:35:37,078 --> 00:35:38,787
[SPECTATORS GROAN]

546
00:35:40,290 --> 00:35:41,457
Cut it!

547
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:45,169
Time-out.

548
00:35:45,253 --> 00:35:47,421
SPECTATOR 2: Let's play ball! Let's go!

549
00:35:47,964 --> 00:35:50,299
Stay there. Give me the ball.

550
00:35:51,301 --> 00:35:52,426
Hey.

551
00:35:53,803 --> 00:35:55,721
Relax, all right?

552
00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:58,307
Don't try to strike everybody out.

553
00:35:58,350 --> 00:36:01,644
Strike-outs are boring.
Besides that, they're fascist.

554
00:36:01,728 --> 00:36:03,812
Throw some ground balls.

555
00:36:03,855 --> 00:36:05,773
It's more democratic.

556
00:36:06,566 --> 00:36:08,609
What's this guy know, anyway?

557
00:36:08,652 --> 00:36:11,695
If he's so great, how come he's
been in the minors for 1 0 years?

558
00:36:11,780 --> 00:36:13,989
If he's so hot, how come
Annie wants me instead of him?

559
00:36:14,074 --> 00:36:15,115
Oh, hey.

560
00:36:15,158 --> 00:36:18,452
And another thing, Meat,
you don't know shit. All right?

561
00:36:18,495 --> 00:36:20,663
You wanna make it to the Show,
you'll listen to me.

562
00:36:20,747 --> 00:36:24,041
Annie only wants you
'cause she can boss you around. Got it?

563
00:36:25,168 --> 00:36:26,919
Relax. Let's have some fun out here.

564
00:36:27,003 --> 00:36:29,129
This game's fun, okay?

565
00:36:29,172 --> 00:36:31,257
Fun, God damn it.

566
00:36:31,341 --> 00:36:34,009
And don't hold the ball so hard, okay?

567
00:36:34,052 --> 00:36:37,012
It's an egg. Hold it like an egg.

568
00:36:38,014 --> 00:36:39,014
[CHUCKLES]

569
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:44,687
What's he know about fun?
I'm young. I know about fun.

570
00:36:44,729 --> 00:36:47,523
Old man, he don't know
nothing about fun.

571
00:36:47,607 --> 00:36:49,858
All right. Nobody's gone out there.

572
00:36:52,571 --> 00:36:54,780
Why's he calling for a curveball?

573
00:36:55,699 --> 00:36:57,283
I wanna bring heat.

574
00:36:58,660 --> 00:37:01,704
Shake him off. Throw what you want.

575
00:37:06,334 --> 00:37:08,043
God damn it. Time-out.

576
00:37:08,128 --> 00:37:11,839
Hey, why you shaking me off?

577
00:37:12,841 --> 00:37:15,551
I wanna bring the heater.
Announce my presence with authority.

578
00:37:15,635 --> 00:37:18,053
- To announce your what?
- Announce my presence with authority.

579
00:37:18,096 --> 00:37:20,014
"To announce your fucking presence
with authority?"

580
00:37:20,056 --> 00:37:22,433
This guy's a first-ball fastball hitter,
he's looking for heat.

581
00:37:22,517 --> 00:37:24,977
Oh, yeah? So what. He ain't seen my heat.

582
00:37:27,814 --> 00:37:30,399
All right, Meat. Give him your heat.

583
00:37:32,777 --> 00:37:35,321
Why is he always calling me Meat?

584
00:37:35,405 --> 00:37:37,323
I'm the guy driving a Porsche.

585
00:37:38,742 --> 00:37:40,451
Fastball.

586
00:37:43,830 --> 00:37:47,207
Come on, Nuke. Settle down.
Settle down, boy. Take your time.

587
00:37:57,928 --> 00:38:01,680
ANNOUNCER: Home run for Burt Crook
of the Fayetteville Generals.

588
00:38:01,765 --> 00:38:04,683
What are you doing? What are you doing
standing here? I gave you a gift.

589
00:38:04,768 --> 00:38:07,770
You stand here showing up my pitcher?
Run, dummy!

590
00:38:10,690 --> 00:38:12,358
Give me the ball.

591
00:38:14,152 --> 00:38:17,696
Well, he really hit the shit
out of that one, didn't he?

592
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:20,783
- I held it like an egg.
- And he scrambled the son of a bitch.

593
00:38:20,825 --> 00:38:22,534
Look at that. He hit the fucking bull.

594
00:38:22,619 --> 00:38:24,536
Guy gets a free steak.

595
00:38:26,456 --> 00:38:29,416
- You having fun yet?
- Oh, yeah, I'm having a blast, thanks.

596
00:38:29,459 --> 00:38:30,626
Good.

597
00:38:31,795 --> 00:38:34,630
Sucker teed off on that like he knew
I was gonna throw a fastball.

598
00:38:34,714 --> 00:38:37,299
- He did know.
- How?

599
00:38:37,884 --> 00:38:39,134
I told him.

600
00:38:40,553 --> 00:38:42,554
One down now!

601
00:38:42,806 --> 00:38:46,225
Come on, Nuke. You're the man.
No batter. Chuck hard, baby.

602
00:38:46,309 --> 00:38:50,938
Don't think, just throw.

603
00:39:00,407 --> 00:39:01,824
Strike!

604
00:39:03,243 --> 00:39:05,995
God, that was beautiful. What did I do?

605
00:39:06,371 --> 00:39:07,663
[CROWD CHEERING]

606
00:39:13,420 --> 00:39:15,754
Hang on, Millie. Here we go again.

607
00:39:38,987 --> 00:39:42,406
That's the first home run
of the year for Crash Davis.

608
00:39:42,490 --> 00:39:47,119
That brings the score up to
Fayetteville 14, Durham 2.

609
00:39:49,039 --> 00:39:50,873
Hell of a shot.

610
00:39:51,791 --> 00:39:53,709
Sorry it got wasted.

611
00:39:55,378 --> 00:39:57,838
I don't know what to do with these guys.

612
00:39:57,881 --> 00:40:01,634
I beg. I plead. I try to be a nice guy.

613
00:40:01,718 --> 00:40:03,761
- I'm a nice guy. But I don't...
- Scare 'em.

614
00:40:04,888 --> 00:40:06,889
They're kids. Scare 'em.

615
00:40:09,017 --> 00:40:10,643
That's what I�d do.

616
00:40:12,437 --> 00:40:13,646
Yeah.

617
00:40:15,065 --> 00:40:16,065
[CHUCKLES]

618
00:40:20,904 --> 00:40:22,571
[YELLING] Everybody into the shower!

619
00:40:22,656 --> 00:40:26,283
Anybody ain't in this shower
in ten seconds gonna get fined $1 00.

620
00:40:26,368 --> 00:40:28,369
- Larry.
- One Mississippi,

621
00:40:28,411 --> 00:40:30,287
two Mississippi, three Mississippi,

622
00:40:30,372 --> 00:40:33,082
- four Mississippi...
- Get in there! Hurry it up!

623
00:40:33,166 --> 00:40:37,753
...seven Mississippi, eight Mississippi,
nine Mississippi, ten Mississippi.

624
00:40:38,004 --> 00:40:43,175
You guys, you lollygag the ball
around the infield.

625
00:40:43,260 --> 00:40:45,803
You lollygag your way down to first.

626
00:40:46,096 --> 00:40:49,682
You lollygag in and out of the dugout.

627
00:40:49,766 --> 00:40:52,351
You know what that makes you? Larry.

628
00:40:52,435 --> 00:40:54,311
- Lollygaggers.
- Lollygaggers.

629
00:40:55,397 --> 00:40:58,023
- What's our record, Larry?
- Eight and 16.

630
00:40:58,108 --> 00:41:00,776
Eight and 16.

631
00:41:01,778 --> 00:41:04,113
- How'd we ever win eight?
- It's a miracle.

632
00:41:04,197 --> 00:41:05,656
It's a miracle.

633
00:41:06,950 --> 00:41:10,244
This is a simple game.

634
00:41:11,121 --> 00:41:13,581
You throw the ball.

635
00:41:13,957 --> 00:41:15,749
You hit the ball.

636
00:41:16,835 --> 00:41:18,794
You catch the ball.

637
00:41:19,462 --> 00:41:21,255
You got it?

638
00:41:22,340 --> 00:41:26,969
Now we have got a 12-day road trip
starting tomorrow.

639
00:41:29,431 --> 00:41:31,432
Bus leaves 6:00 in the morning.

640
00:41:32,809 --> 00:41:36,353
Goddamn, son of a bitching,
motherfucking shithead. God damn it!

641
00:41:40,317 --> 00:41:42,276
Yeah, Skipper, you wanted to see me?

642
00:41:42,319 --> 00:41:45,821
Yeah, Bobby. Shut the door.

643
00:41:55,624 --> 00:41:59,335
This is the toughest job a manager has.

644
00:42:00,170 --> 00:42:04,298
But the organization
has decided to make a change.

645
00:42:04,341 --> 00:42:06,383
They're releasing you
from your contract.

646
00:42:06,468 --> 00:42:10,304
Skip, I know I'm in a goddamn slump,
but I hit the ball hard today.

647
00:42:10,555 --> 00:42:13,849
Couple flares drop in for me,
I'm right back in the groove.

648
00:42:15,226 --> 00:42:16,894
Sorry.

649
00:42:26,988 --> 00:42:28,113
Let's go. Come on.

650
00:42:28,198 --> 00:42:30,366
Nuke, honey.

651
00:42:31,117 --> 00:42:35,120
Let's go. Come on. We got five hours.
Hurry up. Five hour drive coming up.

652
00:42:38,208 --> 00:42:41,210
Honey, I want you to wear these
when you're pitching on the road.

653
00:42:41,294 --> 00:42:43,170
- What are they?
- They're garters.

654
00:42:43,213 --> 00:42:44,713
They're gonna hug your waist and snuggle

655
00:42:44,756 --> 00:42:47,466
and kind of dangle off your thighs
and buns in such a wonderful way.

656
00:42:47,550 --> 00:42:49,218
It'll help you see things differently.

657
00:42:49,302 --> 00:42:51,553
Plus, it'll remind you of me,
which is a lot nicer

658
00:42:51,596 --> 00:42:54,265
than thinking about all
those nasty hitters.

659
00:42:54,349 --> 00:42:56,809
Jesus, Annie, I don't know.

660
00:42:56,893 --> 00:42:58,894
You've been pitching
out of the wrong side of your brain.

661
00:42:58,937 --> 00:43:01,438
This will help put things
on the right side.

662
00:43:01,523 --> 00:43:03,899
Big-league pitchers don't use these.

663
00:43:03,942 --> 00:43:06,277
They did when they were
in the Carolina League.

664
00:43:06,361 --> 00:43:09,697
Nuke. Nuke, excuse me.
Time to go to work.

665
00:43:09,739 --> 00:43:10,906
All right.

666
00:43:18,582 --> 00:43:20,708
Bye, y'all. Bye.

667
00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:22,126
Give me a break.

668
00:43:22,836 --> 00:43:25,462
Go get 'em, boys!
Hit them where they ain't.

669
00:43:44,524 --> 00:43:47,151
[SINGING TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS]

670
00:44:07,797 --> 00:44:09,465
Stop it.

671
00:44:10,133 --> 00:44:11,634
Thank you.

672
00:44:11,718 --> 00:44:14,637
- What?
- It's not "woolly."

673
00:44:14,971 --> 00:44:17,181
Nobody gets "woolly."
Women get "weary."

674
00:44:17,265 --> 00:44:18,974
They don't get "woolly."

675
00:44:19,392 --> 00:44:21,727
Nobody's got "stress,"
they're wearing a "dress."

676
00:44:21,811 --> 00:44:24,772
God damn, I hate people
that get the words wrong.

677
00:44:26,816 --> 00:44:28,817
How come you don't like me?

678
00:44:28,944 --> 00:44:31,987
You don't respect yourself,
which is your problem.

679
00:44:33,740 --> 00:44:36,784
But you don't respect the game,
and that's my problem.

680
00:44:37,035 --> 00:44:39,662
- You got a gift.
- What do I got?

681
00:44:39,704 --> 00:44:42,164
You got a gift. When you were a baby,
the gods reached down

682
00:44:42,207 --> 00:44:44,416
and turned your right arm
into a thunderbolt.

683
00:44:44,501 --> 00:44:47,086
You got a Hall of Fame arm,
but you're pissing it away.

684
00:44:47,170 --> 00:44:49,797
I ain't pissing nothing away.
I got a Porsche already.

685
00:44:49,839 --> 00:44:52,299
I got a 911 with a
quadraphonic Blaupunkt.

686
00:44:52,342 --> 00:44:54,885
You don't need a quadraphonic Blaupunkt.

687
00:44:54,970 --> 00:44:56,887
What you need is a curveball.

688
00:44:57,013 --> 00:44:58,973
In the Show, everybody
can hit a fastball.

689
00:44:59,015 --> 00:45:01,016
How would you know?

690
00:45:01,434 --> 00:45:03,519
You've been in the majors?

691
00:45:04,396 --> 00:45:05,396
[SCOFFS]

692
00:45:07,023 --> 00:45:08,857
CRASH: Yeah, I've been in the majors.

693
00:45:08,900 --> 00:45:10,818
PLAYER 1 : You were? Yeah?

694
00:45:10,860 --> 00:45:12,903
PLAYER 2: You've been in the Show, man?

695
00:45:13,697 --> 00:45:15,656
Yeah, I was in the Show.

696
00:45:16,741 --> 00:45:19,451
I was in the Show for 21 days once.

697
00:45:21,746 --> 00:45:24,331
Twenty-one greatest days of my life.

698
00:45:25,125 --> 00:45:27,293
You know, you never handle your luggage
in the Show.

699
00:45:27,377 --> 00:45:29,295
Somebody else carries your bags.

700
00:45:29,379 --> 00:45:31,088
It's great.

701
00:45:31,172 --> 00:45:33,716
You hit white balls
for batting practice.

702
00:45:35,093 --> 00:45:36,885
Ballparks are like cathedrals.

703
00:45:39,556 --> 00:45:42,057
The hotels all have room service.

704
00:45:43,268 --> 00:45:46,478
The women all have long legs and brains.

705
00:45:49,482 --> 00:45:52,401
- They're really hot?
- Yeah, and so are the pitchers.

706
00:45:52,444 --> 00:45:54,987
They throw ungodly breaking stuff
in the Show.

707
00:45:55,071 --> 00:45:56,739
Exploding sliders.

708
00:45:59,492 --> 00:46:01,493
You could be one of those guys.

709
00:46:02,454 --> 00:46:05,623
Nuke could be one of those guys,
but you don't give a fuck, Meat.

710
00:46:05,707 --> 00:46:09,543
Listen, I am sick and fucking
tired of you calling me Meat.

711
00:46:10,921 --> 00:46:12,755
You wanna step outside?

712
00:46:12,797 --> 00:46:14,506
Yeah, I'll step outside.

713
00:46:14,591 --> 00:46:17,051
Hey, hey, hey! Come on, Crash!

714
00:46:17,093 --> 00:46:19,470
He was kidding. He was kidding.

715
00:46:21,765 --> 00:46:23,098
What's the problem?

716
00:46:23,141 --> 00:46:25,059
Crash, Crash. Nuke, what's happening?

717
00:46:25,101 --> 00:46:29,146
I was just gonna ask Crash to show me
how to throw a breaking ball.

718
00:46:29,230 --> 00:46:32,816
Good idea. Did anybody bring a ball?

719
00:47:06,393 --> 00:47:07,393
[CRACKS]

720
00:47:08,270 --> 00:47:09,270
<i>[SOUND EFFECT OF
CROWD CHEERING PLAYING]</i>

721
00:47:10,146 --> 00:47:11,689
Double off the wall by Higgins.

722
00:47:11,773 --> 00:47:13,357
Once again,
the Durham pitchers are unable

723
00:47:13,441 --> 00:47:14,733
to get the first out of the inning.

724
00:47:16,528 --> 00:47:17,528
[BAT CRACKS]

725
00:47:19,197 --> 00:47:20,906
[CROWD CHATTERING]

726
00:47:36,548 --> 00:47:39,174
ANNOUNCER: The Bulls will attempt to
end a six-game losing streak

727
00:47:39,259 --> 00:47:42,636
against the Greensboro Hornets
with Nuke LaLoosh on the hill.

728
00:47:52,772 --> 00:47:55,024
Base hit to center field off LaLoosh.

729
00:47:55,734 --> 00:47:56,859
[CROWD CHEERING]

730
00:48:01,656 --> 00:48:03,741
That closes the book on LaLoosh today.

731
00:48:03,825 --> 00:48:08,370
Five earned runs, five hits, five strikeouts,
five walks and five wild pitches.

732
00:48:09,247 --> 00:48:10,998
It's time to tell it
like it is, sports fans.

733
00:48:11,041 --> 00:48:14,543
And this is the most wretched
road trip I've seen in 20 years.

734
00:48:14,586 --> 00:48:17,379
And possibly the worst Durham team
in half a century.

735
00:48:17,672 --> 00:48:20,799
Is the modern-day athlete a pale
imitation of the great old warriors?

736
00:48:20,884 --> 00:48:23,052
Only Crash Davis stands out this year.

737
00:48:23,094 --> 00:48:25,262
Begging the question,
what are these boys thinking about?

738
00:48:25,347 --> 00:48:27,389
'Cause it sure ain't baseball.

739
00:48:32,646 --> 00:48:34,563
[PLAYERS CHATTERING]

740
00:48:45,575 --> 00:48:48,577
Hey, Mr. Hormone, check out this.

741
00:48:48,662 --> 00:48:51,914
Ice-skaters. God, look at them.

742
00:48:52,123 --> 00:48:54,083
Hey, fellas, that's what we need, man.

743
00:48:54,167 --> 00:48:56,919
One night with some of these skaters,
we can get right back on track.

744
00:48:57,003 --> 00:48:58,087
Yeah, right.

745
00:48:58,171 --> 00:49:00,589
Just need a night off
to end our losing streak.

746
00:49:00,632 --> 00:49:02,758
What we need is a rainout.

747
00:49:02,842 --> 00:49:04,426
I can get us a rainout.

748
00:49:04,469 --> 00:49:07,054
Man, there ain't been a cloud
in the sky in weeks.

749
00:49:08,848 --> 00:49:12,017
Hundred bucks says I can get us
a rainout for tomorrow.

750
00:49:17,857 --> 00:49:19,692
You're on.

751
00:49:25,282 --> 00:49:26,574
[DOG BARKING]

752
00:49:26,950 --> 00:49:29,660
PLAYER: I ain't paying for this.
Crash, pay for this.

753
00:49:29,744 --> 00:49:32,037
Shut up. You're gonna wake everybody up.

754
00:49:32,122 --> 00:49:34,164
Let the bonus baby pay for it.

755
00:49:34,624 --> 00:49:36,000
PLAYER: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

756
00:49:36,668 --> 00:49:38,210
Jesus, man.

757
00:49:40,630 --> 00:49:41,797
[GIGGLING]

758
00:49:50,015 --> 00:49:51,390
[PLAYERS CHATTERING]

759
00:49:56,313 --> 00:49:59,064
Crash, what are you doing?

760
00:50:08,325 --> 00:50:10,034
Oh, my goodness!

761
00:50:10,327 --> 00:50:11,327
[GIGGLING]

762
00:50:12,329 --> 00:50:15,039
We got ourselves a natural disaster.

763
00:50:15,498 --> 00:50:17,833
<i>[I GOT LOADED PLAYING]</i>

764
00:51:11,513 --> 00:51:13,013
<i>[TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS PLAYING]</i>

765
00:51:55,181 --> 00:51:56,181
[GASPS]

766
00:51:57,892 --> 00:52:00,185
Hey, hey.

767
00:52:00,937 --> 00:52:02,563
- Wake up.
- Huh?

768
00:52:02,606 --> 00:52:04,607
You're awake.

769
00:52:04,649 --> 00:52:06,025
You're okay.

770
00:52:07,444 --> 00:52:09,111
You were dreaming.

771
00:52:11,406 --> 00:52:12,823
You're okay.

772
00:52:13,575 --> 00:52:15,951
I was playing damn near naked.

773
00:52:16,077 --> 00:52:18,913
- What?
- I was naked.

774
00:52:18,955 --> 00:52:20,581
Playing naked.

775
00:52:22,125 --> 00:52:23,417
I know.

776
00:52:24,294 --> 00:52:27,129
I know. I have that dream
all the time, too.

777
00:52:28,632 --> 00:52:30,341
We're almost home.

778
00:52:37,432 --> 00:52:39,516
PLAYER 1 : Watch your head.

779
00:52:39,601 --> 00:52:42,102
Here you go. Let me get that black bag.

780
00:52:42,145 --> 00:52:45,314
- PLAYER 2: I'm not your slave.
- No, that one over there.

781
00:52:45,815 --> 00:52:47,191
[ALL CHATTERING]

782
00:52:54,282 --> 00:52:55,366
Hi.

783
00:53:02,874 --> 00:53:03,874
Whoa!

784
00:53:13,593 --> 00:53:17,304
[YAWNS]

785
00:53:17,597 --> 00:53:19,181
God, I'm tired.

786
00:53:20,475 --> 00:53:22,017
What a trip.

787
00:53:22,936 --> 00:53:26,272
I was lousy. I was worse than lousy.

788
00:53:26,356 --> 00:53:30,901
I mean, every time I pitched,
it was like throwing gasoline on a fire.

789
00:53:31,444 --> 00:53:32,861
[IMITATES EXPLOSIONS]

790
00:53:35,657 --> 00:53:36,699
I mean, I...

791
00:53:36,783 --> 00:53:39,910
What is all this "I, I, I" stuff?
What about me?

792
00:53:39,995 --> 00:53:41,954
Aren't you glad to see me?

793
00:53:42,038 --> 00:53:44,081
Don't I look nice?

794
00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:47,585
You look great. I'm sorry.

795
00:53:47,669 --> 00:53:49,712
I'm just totally exhausted.

796
00:53:49,796 --> 00:53:53,048
Good. Physical exhaustion
can be spiritually fabulous.

797
00:53:53,925 --> 00:53:56,760
What you need is a good game of catch.

798
00:53:56,845 --> 00:53:58,220
- Catch?
- Mmm-hmm.

799
00:53:59,347 --> 00:54:02,057
Baby, come on. Fire one in here.

800
00:54:02,100 --> 00:54:04,560
This is ridiculous. I'm a professional.

801
00:54:04,644 --> 00:54:07,271
Will you just give it a try and lean in?

802
00:54:09,733 --> 00:54:10,900
Thank you.

803
00:54:12,068 --> 00:54:15,404
Now, I want you to breathe
through your eyelids.

804
00:54:15,447 --> 00:54:16,572
- My eyelids?
- Yeah.

805
00:54:16,615 --> 00:54:18,741
Like the lava lizards
of the Gal�pagos Islands.

806
00:54:18,783 --> 00:54:22,369
Some lizards have a parietal eye behind
their heads so they can see backwards.

807
00:54:22,412 --> 00:54:24,496
Haven't you ever noticed
how Fernando Valenzuela,

808
00:54:24,581 --> 00:54:27,458
he just doesn't even
look when he pitches?

809
00:54:27,542 --> 00:54:29,585
He's a Mayan Indian.

810
00:54:29,669 --> 00:54:31,879
Or an Aztec. I forget which one.
I get them confused.

811
00:54:31,922 --> 00:54:33,964
- So do I.
- Stand up for a second.

812
00:54:34,049 --> 00:54:35,966
I want you to be aware
of the chakra connection

813
00:54:36,051 --> 00:54:37,885
between your feet and your testicles.

814
00:54:37,928 --> 00:54:41,055
- Chakra.
- Your right leg and left testicle

815
00:54:41,097 --> 00:54:42,932
and your left leg and
your right testicle.

816
00:54:42,974 --> 00:54:45,601
- I like that.
- I bet you do.

817
00:54:45,644 --> 00:54:47,770
Give me the ball. Come on.
I'm tired of hearing this.

818
00:54:47,854 --> 00:54:49,772
Fire one in there. Come on.

819
00:54:50,607 --> 00:54:51,899
Okay.

820
00:54:54,611 --> 00:54:57,488
You're patronizing me,
and I will not be patronized.

821
00:54:57,572 --> 00:55:00,616
If I throw too hard,
I'm gonna hurt the girl.

822
00:55:00,700 --> 00:55:02,785
This girl has handled a lot of pitchers

823
00:55:02,869 --> 00:55:05,788
whose records are a lot better
than one and seven.

824
00:55:05,872 --> 00:55:09,291
- One and six. Give me the goddamn ball.
- Oh, sorry.

825
00:55:16,132 --> 00:55:16,882
[DOG BARKING]

826
00:55:17,175 --> 00:55:19,134
- How do you like that?
- That was much better.

827
00:55:19,469 --> 00:55:21,470
Did you see that?
Because your delivery was fully integrated

828
00:55:21,554 --> 00:55:24,348
because you weren't thinking about it,
'cause you were pissed off at me.

829
00:55:24,432 --> 00:55:27,059
Now, that's progress. Come on up here.
Get your butt up here.

830
00:55:27,143 --> 00:55:28,936
Let's bend over, and
I'm gonna show you...

831
00:55:28,979 --> 00:55:33,357
I give up. I give up. Let's go inside
and make love and fall asleep

832
00:55:33,441 --> 00:55:35,734
until it's time to go to the ballpark.

833
00:55:37,404 --> 00:55:41,490
Or we could just take
all that sexual energy

834
00:55:41,533 --> 00:55:44,660
and kind of hold onto it for a few hours

835
00:55:44,744 --> 00:55:48,163
and then rechannel it
into your pitching tonight.

836
00:55:50,667 --> 00:55:53,544
You're a powerful young thing,
Ebby Calvin.

837
00:55:56,548 --> 00:55:58,173
You want something
for that sore shoulder?

838
00:55:58,258 --> 00:56:00,843
Yeah, I want that shit
that don't smell bad.

839
00:56:00,885 --> 00:56:03,846
- It's on back order.
- Give him some of that shit.

840
00:56:05,432 --> 00:56:06,682
[PLAYERS CHATTERING]

841
00:56:15,692 --> 00:56:16,734
[EXCLAIMS]

842
00:56:17,027 --> 00:56:18,402
That's hot.

843
00:56:19,362 --> 00:56:21,655
No, I mean it, that's very hot.

844
00:56:23,408 --> 00:56:25,701
Annie says it'll keep
one side of my brain

845
00:56:25,744 --> 00:56:28,996
occupied while I'm on the mound,
thus keeping my brain slightly off-center

846
00:56:29,039 --> 00:56:32,041
which is where it should be
for artists and pitchers.

847
00:56:33,251 --> 00:56:34,376
Okay.

848
00:56:36,504 --> 00:56:40,716
She also said I should throw
whatever pitches you call for.

849
00:56:42,135 --> 00:56:44,178
Annie's a very smart lady.

850
00:56:47,557 --> 00:56:48,641
What?

851
00:56:51,853 --> 00:56:54,396
The rose goes in the front, big guy.

852
00:56:58,902 --> 00:57:03,364
ANNOUNCER: Now batting for the Salem
Bucks, the center fielder, Joe McCorkle.

853
00:57:03,740 --> 00:57:04,740
[MAN WHISTLES]

854
00:57:06,076 --> 00:57:08,327
This underwear feels kind of sexy.

855
00:57:09,537 --> 00:57:12,081
That don't make me queer, right? Right.

856
00:57:17,045 --> 00:57:18,921
Breaking ball.

857
00:57:23,468 --> 00:57:24,468
Yeah!

858
00:57:24,552 --> 00:57:27,012
All right! Good way to start, baby.

859
00:57:29,849 --> 00:57:31,892
I ain't queer. No, I ain't.

860
00:57:37,107 --> 00:57:38,649
Fastball.

861
00:57:40,777 --> 00:57:41,777
[GRUNTS]

862
00:57:42,237 --> 00:57:43,612
Strike!

863
00:57:44,573 --> 00:57:47,032
Ninety-six miles an hour. He looks good

864
00:57:47,117 --> 00:57:48,951
but why is he all twisting up like that?

865
00:57:49,035 --> 00:57:51,787
He's using his parietal eye,
just like Fernando.

866
00:57:52,747 --> 00:57:54,290
Whoo, that was a humdinger.

867
00:57:55,500 --> 00:57:56,625
Yeah.

868
00:57:58,795 --> 00:58:00,004
[CROWD WHISTLING]

869
00:58:00,589 --> 00:58:02,298
Fastball again? Why's he want the heat?

870
00:58:02,340 --> 00:58:04,758
I just threw heat. Don't think, Meat.

871
00:58:04,801 --> 00:58:06,844
Just give them the gas.

872
00:58:10,682 --> 00:58:11,890
Strike!

873
00:58:13,310 --> 00:58:16,061
Jesus, what's got into Nuke?

874
00:58:16,146 --> 00:58:17,563
He's wearing garters

875
00:58:17,647 --> 00:58:20,900
and he's breathing out of his eyelids
like a lava lizard.

876
00:58:21,026 --> 00:58:22,526
It's an old Mayan deal.

877
00:58:22,611 --> 00:58:24,486
- Aztec.
- Aztec deal.

878
00:58:25,947 --> 00:58:27,990
[MAN WHISTLING]

879
00:58:31,494 --> 00:58:33,787
Got it! I got it!

880
00:58:35,957 --> 00:58:38,042
Way to go. Hustle in!

881
00:58:41,004 --> 00:58:43,505
Have my mojo working.

882
00:58:43,590 --> 00:58:45,674
You know what a mojo is?

883
00:58:45,759 --> 00:58:47,343
- Sure.
- No, you don't.

884
00:58:48,094 --> 00:58:50,012
I was great, huh?

885
00:58:50,639 --> 00:58:53,349
Your fastball was up.
Your curveball's hanging.

886
00:58:53,391 --> 00:58:56,185
In the Show, they would have ripped you.

887
00:58:57,437 --> 00:58:59,396
Can't you even let me enjoy the moment?

888
00:58:59,481 --> 00:59:01,190
The moment's over.

889
00:59:02,776 --> 00:59:04,360
[ANNOUNCER CHATTERING ON PA]

890
00:59:04,527 --> 00:59:05,903
Come on, Crash.

891
00:59:05,987 --> 00:59:08,530
This guy starts me off
with a breaking ball

892
00:59:09,783 --> 00:59:11,617
I'm taking him downtown.

893
00:59:12,535 --> 00:59:14,370
[ALL EXCLAIMING]

894
00:59:17,999 --> 00:59:20,125
I dare you to throw me the hammer.

895
00:59:20,585 --> 00:59:22,044
You ain't that stupid.

896
00:59:22,087 --> 00:59:25,381
ANNOUNCER: Stepping up to the plate
for Durham, our own Crash Davis.

897
00:59:25,423 --> 00:59:27,549
Come on.
Put your hands together for Crash.

898
00:59:27,634 --> 00:59:28,884
Let's hear it!

899
00:59:31,972 --> 00:59:33,138
Let's go.

900
00:59:33,223 --> 00:59:36,725
CRASH: Come on, Meat.
Bring me that weak-ass shit.

901
00:59:36,768 --> 00:59:39,561
Bring it. Bring it. Bring it.

902
00:59:40,855 --> 00:59:42,439
[CROWD CHEERING]

903
00:59:44,568 --> 00:59:46,652
Oh, my.

904
00:59:55,078 --> 00:59:56,620
Two-nothing Bulls in the second.

905
00:59:56,705 --> 00:59:59,790
First time the Bulls have been
ahead in weeks, eh, Whitey?

906
00:59:59,874 --> 01:00:02,585
Let's see if the real
Nuke LaLoosh will show up.

907
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:06,046
SPECTATOR: There you go! Dig in there!

908
01:00:06,881 --> 01:00:08,465
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

909
01:00:15,432 --> 01:00:17,349
Back! Back! Back!

910
01:00:17,434 --> 01:00:19,351
Crash, you got room!

911
01:00:20,061 --> 01:00:21,604
You got room!

912
01:00:23,148 --> 01:00:24,773
[SPECTATORS CHEERING]

913
01:00:25,442 --> 01:00:27,026
All right, yeah!

914
01:00:28,820 --> 01:00:31,488
What are you doing out here?
I'm cruising, man.

915
01:00:31,990 --> 01:00:34,074
I want you to throw
the next one at the mascot.

916
01:00:34,117 --> 01:00:36,327
Why? I'm finally throwing it
where I want to throw it.

917
01:00:36,411 --> 01:00:38,495
Just throw it at the bull, all right?

918
01:00:38,580 --> 01:00:39,872
Trust me.

919
01:00:43,168 --> 01:00:44,710
He's the boss.

920
01:00:50,300 --> 01:00:51,467
A staggering start by LaLoosh.

921
01:00:51,509 --> 01:00:54,803
He's thrown five outs on nine pitches,
all of them strikes.

922
01:00:54,846 --> 01:00:57,556
He's got pinpoint control
here tonight, Bull fans.

923
01:00:57,641 --> 01:00:58,974
Here's the pitch.

924
01:01:01,645 --> 01:01:02,645
[GROANS]

925
01:01:04,314 --> 01:01:05,314
[CHUCKLES]

926
01:01:08,944 --> 01:01:10,110
This guy's crazy.

927
01:01:10,153 --> 01:01:13,197
Yep. I wouldn't dig in
there if I was you.

928
01:01:13,281 --> 01:01:15,282
Next one might be at your head.

929
01:01:16,493 --> 01:01:18,869
I don't know where it's gonna go.

930
01:01:18,954 --> 01:01:20,454
I swear to God.

931
01:01:21,122 --> 01:01:22,414
[CROWD YELLING]

932
01:01:24,542 --> 01:01:25,542
[CHUCKLES]

933
01:01:27,712 --> 01:01:29,338
[CHUCKLING]

934
01:01:36,429 --> 01:01:39,515
You're the man! You're the man!
Easy game!

935
01:01:42,352 --> 01:01:43,686
ANNOUNCER: Top of the ninth. Two outs.

936
01:01:43,770 --> 01:01:47,314
One out away from a stunning
two-hit shutout for LaLoosh.

937
01:01:48,275 --> 01:01:51,318
Bring it on, Meat. Don't let up.

938
01:01:51,361 --> 01:01:53,195
You own these guys.

939
01:01:54,531 --> 01:01:56,532
Dad would love a shutout.

940
01:02:01,371 --> 01:02:03,163
No. No, no.

941
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:08,502
No, no, he's looking for heat.

942
01:02:08,545 --> 01:02:10,379
Let me give him the deuce.

943
01:02:11,047 --> 01:02:12,881
Play ball!

944
01:02:13,216 --> 01:02:16,051
Oh, no, he's shaking off the signs.

945
01:02:16,136 --> 01:02:17,469
Big mistake.

946
01:02:17,554 --> 01:02:19,930
This son of a bitch
is throwing a two-hit shutout.

947
01:02:20,015 --> 01:02:22,516
He's shaking me off.
You believe that shit?

948
01:02:24,227 --> 01:02:27,730
Charlie, here comes the deuce.

949
01:02:27,856 --> 01:02:30,399
And when you speak of me, speak well.

950
01:02:35,906 --> 01:02:38,741
- No, no. Serve it up.
- Yeah.

951
01:02:43,330 --> 01:02:44,455
[CROWD EXCLAIMS]

952
01:02:47,500 --> 01:02:49,418
ANNOUNCER: Home run.

953
01:02:50,086 --> 01:02:51,754
Give me the ball.

954
01:02:58,595 --> 01:03:00,596
You told him I was gonna
throw a deuce, right?

955
01:03:00,639 --> 01:03:01,847
Yep.

956
01:03:03,391 --> 01:03:06,018
Man, that ball got out
of here in a hurry.

957
01:03:07,270 --> 01:03:10,147
Anything that travels that far ought
to have a damn stewardess on it.

958
01:03:10,231 --> 01:03:11,857
Don't you think?

959
01:03:37,634 --> 01:03:38,968
[CHEERING]

960
01:03:48,311 --> 01:03:52,147
ANNIE: When Nuke started listening to
Crash, everything fell into place.

961
01:03:52,274 --> 01:03:55,401
He started throwing strikes,
and we started to win.

962
01:03:55,485 --> 01:03:57,861
But Nuke was still confused.

963
01:03:57,946 --> 01:03:59,822
He was so encouraged by his victory

964
01:03:59,906 --> 01:04:02,700
that he vowed not to have sex
until he lost.

965
01:04:02,784 --> 01:04:04,827
Unfortunately, however,
he kept on winning

966
01:04:04,869 --> 01:04:07,121
and for one extraordinary June and July

967
01:04:07,163 --> 01:04:12,918
the Durham Bulls began playing baseball
with joy and verve and poetry.

968
01:04:13,962 --> 01:04:17,381
The two sides of my own brain
were all jumbled up and cross-wired.

969
01:04:17,465 --> 01:04:19,425
While one side was being neglected

970
01:04:19,509 --> 01:04:23,178
the other was in paradise watching
our Bulls play like big-leaguers.

971
01:04:23,847 --> 01:04:27,182
We swept a four-game series at Kinston,
two games at Winston-Salem

972
01:04:27,267 --> 01:04:30,519
and kicked the holy shit
out of Greensboro in a three-game set.

973
01:04:30,604 --> 01:04:32,563
And Crash, who kept hitting dingers

974
01:04:32,647 --> 01:04:37,192
was approaching the minor-league record,
though I told nobody.

975
01:04:38,445 --> 01:04:43,532
After sweeping the July 4 doubleheader
the Durham Bulls were tied for first.

976
01:04:43,575 --> 01:04:48,078
Beautiful as the winning streak was,
I was getting damn lonely.

977
01:04:48,204 --> 01:04:50,080
Something had to be done.

978
01:04:50,165 --> 01:04:51,957
I needed a man.

979
01:04:52,083 --> 01:04:53,542
[ALL CHATTERING]

980
01:04:53,877 --> 01:04:55,336
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

981
01:05:00,550 --> 01:05:02,092
Yeah!

982
01:05:02,177 --> 01:05:04,345
I love winning, man.

983
01:05:04,387 --> 01:05:06,722
I fucking love winning.

984
01:05:06,806 --> 01:05:10,267
You hear what I'm saying?
It's like better than losing.

985
01:05:11,728 --> 01:05:14,521
Teach me something new. I need to learn.

986
01:05:14,814 --> 01:05:16,565
Teach me something.

987
01:05:17,025 --> 01:05:18,734
CRASH: You got something to write with?

988
01:05:18,777 --> 01:05:20,694
Good. It's time to work
on your interviews.

989
01:05:20,737 --> 01:05:23,155
NUKE: My interviews? What do I gotta do?

990
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:25,282
You have to learn your clich�s.

991
01:05:25,367 --> 01:05:28,786
You're gonna have to study them,
you're gonna have to know them.

992
01:05:28,870 --> 01:05:31,580
They're your friends. Write this down.

993
01:05:32,707 --> 01:05:35,501
We gotta play 'em one day at a time.

994
01:05:35,585 --> 01:05:38,545
"Got to play..."

995
01:05:38,588 --> 01:05:40,256
- It's pretty boring.
- Of course it's boring.

996
01:05:40,340 --> 01:05:41,632
That's the point. Write it down.

997
01:05:41,716 --> 01:05:45,261
"One day at a time."

998
01:05:45,345 --> 01:05:48,097
I'm just happy to be here.

999
01:05:48,181 --> 01:05:50,599
Hope I can help the ball club.

1000
01:05:51,726 --> 01:05:53,686
I know. Write it down.

1001
01:05:54,604 --> 01:05:58,774
I just wanna give it my best shot.

1002
01:05:58,858 --> 01:06:03,112
And the good Lord willing,
things will work out.

1003
01:06:03,780 --> 01:06:07,116
"Good Lord willing

1004
01:06:07,409 --> 01:06:09,910
- "things will work out."
- Things will work out.

1005
01:06:09,953 --> 01:06:11,453
How's Annie?

1006
01:06:15,458 --> 01:06:17,835
She's getting pretty steamed, actually,

1007
01:06:17,919 --> 01:06:20,963
'cause I'm still rechanneling
my sexual energy.

1008
01:06:23,883 --> 01:06:26,051
I'm figuring I'm just gonna cave in
and sleep with her.

1009
01:06:26,136 --> 01:06:28,637
You know, to calm her down.

1010
01:06:29,139 --> 01:06:31,015
Are you out of your mind?

1011
01:06:31,099 --> 01:06:33,475
- I'm just... Talking about one time.
- Are you out of your mind?

1012
01:06:33,518 --> 01:06:36,562
If you give in now,
you might start losing.

1013
01:06:40,317 --> 01:06:43,986
Never fuck with a winning streak.

1014
01:06:46,865 --> 01:06:48,157
[HORN Honking]

1015
01:06:49,993 --> 01:06:51,452
Hi, boys.

1016
01:06:52,621 --> 01:06:54,830
Hi, darling. Get in here.

1017
01:06:54,873 --> 01:06:56,707
Hey, Jimmy!

1018
01:06:56,791 --> 01:06:58,250
Want a ride?

1019
01:06:59,878 --> 01:07:03,589
Have you accepted Jesus Christ
as your personal savior?

1020
01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:05,215
No.

1021
01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:08,010
Can I give you my testimony?

1022
01:07:08,929 --> 01:07:11,221
You can do anything you want.

1023
01:07:16,144 --> 01:07:17,353
Hop in.

1024
01:07:18,188 --> 01:07:19,563
[GIGGLES]

1025
01:07:21,566 --> 01:07:24,026
I am so proud of you guys.

1026
01:07:28,740 --> 01:07:32,201
- You want some more soup, honey?
- No, thanks. That was great.

1027
01:07:36,331 --> 01:07:39,416
How about a little back rub?

1028
01:07:39,501 --> 01:07:41,418
No, I'm okay.

1029
01:07:41,503 --> 01:07:43,712
I think I'll just take a little nap.

1030
01:07:44,047 --> 01:07:45,714
You want me to tuck you in?

1031
01:07:45,799 --> 01:07:48,133
Annie, you can't seduce me.

1032
01:07:49,678 --> 01:07:52,846
Sweetie, I'm not gonna
try to seduce you.

1033
01:07:55,934 --> 01:07:58,644
- What's that?
- That's my leg.

1034
01:07:58,728 --> 01:08:00,062
I know what it is.

1035
01:08:00,105 --> 01:08:02,189
I thought maybe we could work
on some fundamentals

1036
01:08:02,232 --> 01:08:06,819
since we're not gonna make love,
and improve your hand-eye coordination.

1037
01:08:06,903 --> 01:08:10,698
- My hand-eye coordination?
- Unsnap my stocking.

1038
01:08:12,158 --> 01:08:17,288
The other day,
Crash called a woman's...pussy...

1039
01:08:18,206 --> 01:08:21,834
You know how the hair is kind of
in a V-shape?

1040
01:08:22,586 --> 01:08:23,836
Yes, I do.

1041
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:26,380
He called it the Bermuda Triangle.

1042
01:08:26,423 --> 01:08:29,592
He said a man could get lost in there
and never be heard from again.

1043
01:08:29,676 --> 01:08:33,679
- What a nasty thing to say.
- He didn't mean it nasty.

1044
01:08:35,056 --> 01:08:39,059
He said that getting lost and disappearing
from the face of the earth

1045
01:08:39,102 --> 01:08:42,980
was sometimes a good thing to do,
especially like that.

1046
01:08:43,064 --> 01:08:49,194
But he also said that there were times
for discipline and self-control.

1047
01:08:49,279 --> 01:08:51,196
And I think this is one of those times.

1048
01:08:51,281 --> 01:08:53,824
Crash is a very smart man.

1049
01:08:54,075 --> 01:08:56,285
Now, honey, let's give it a try.

1050
01:09:02,375 --> 01:09:04,460
Here, wait a minute. Watch. Watch.

1051
01:09:09,925 --> 01:09:11,634
Now you try. Go ahead.

1052
01:09:17,933 --> 01:09:18,933
Mmm-hmm.

1053
01:09:21,728 --> 01:09:23,395
Yep.

1054
01:09:23,813 --> 01:09:24,813
[MOANS]

1055
01:09:28,318 --> 01:09:29,568
You're playing with my mind.

1056
01:09:29,653 --> 01:09:31,195
I'm trying to play with your body.

1057
01:09:31,279 --> 01:09:32,821
I knew it. You're trying to seduce me.

1058
01:09:32,864 --> 01:09:34,865
Of course I'm trying to seduce you
for God's sake.

1059
01:09:34,950 --> 01:09:37,993
I'm doing a damn poor job of it.
Aren't I pretty?

1060
01:09:38,036 --> 01:09:40,037
God, I think you're real cute.

1061
01:09:40,121 --> 01:09:44,124
Cute? Baby ducks are cute. I hate cute!

1062
01:09:44,501 --> 01:09:47,544
I wanna be exotic and mysterious.

1063
01:09:47,629 --> 01:09:51,632
You are.
You're exotic and mysterious and cute.

1064
01:09:53,260 --> 01:09:54,802
That's why I better leave.

1065
01:09:54,844 --> 01:09:57,054
Nuke, you got it all wrong.

1066
01:09:57,138 --> 01:09:59,473
There's no relationship
between sex and baseball.

1067
01:09:59,516 --> 01:10:01,183
- Ask Crash.
- I did.

1068
01:10:01,268 --> 01:10:02,685
And what did he say?

1069
01:10:02,727 --> 01:10:05,688
He said, if I give into you,
I'll start losing again.

1070
01:10:06,273 --> 01:10:08,732
- He did?
- Yeah.

1071
01:10:09,442 --> 01:10:11,527
I'll be back when we lose.

1072
01:10:17,242 --> 01:10:18,576
Damn it!

1073
01:10:20,996 --> 01:10:22,246
[MUTTERING]

1074
01:10:32,757 --> 01:10:35,259
How dare you tell Nuke
to stay out of my bed.

1075
01:10:35,343 --> 01:10:38,137
You are messing with my private life!

1076
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:40,723
Knock-knock, you know? Come in.

1077
01:10:40,765 --> 01:10:42,891
- Words like, thank you.
- You're confusing him.

1078
01:10:42,976 --> 01:10:44,727
- You're bending his mind all out of shape.
- I'm what?

1079
01:10:44,811 --> 01:10:46,145
You're confusing him!

1080
01:10:46,229 --> 01:10:47,563
I'm confusing him?

1081
01:10:47,647 --> 01:10:49,940
You got him breathing out
of the wrong goddamn eyelid.

1082
01:10:50,025 --> 01:10:52,234
You got him parading around
the locker room like a fruit.

1083
01:10:52,319 --> 01:10:55,279
That is a religious ritual
and it happens to be working,

1084
01:10:55,363 --> 01:10:56,405
if you don't mind my saying.

1085
01:10:56,448 --> 01:10:59,241
[STAMMERING] Wait a second.
Who dresses you?

1086
01:10:59,326 --> 01:11:00,743
- What?
- Who dresses you?

1087
01:11:00,827 --> 01:11:03,913
You think this is a little excessive
for the Carolina League?

1088
01:11:03,997 --> 01:11:07,541
"The road of excess leads to
the palace of wisdom." William Blake.

1089
01:11:07,584 --> 01:11:09,585
- William Blake?
- William Blake.

1090
01:11:09,669 --> 01:11:11,420
- William Blake?
- William Blake!

1091
01:11:11,463 --> 01:11:14,840
- What do you mean, "William Blake"?
- I mean, "William Blake."

1092
01:11:17,177 --> 01:11:20,304
Who are you? I mean, do you have a job?

1093
01:11:20,388 --> 01:11:23,515
I teach part-time
at Alamance Junior College,

1094
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:26,352
English 1 01 and Beginning Composition.

1095
01:11:26,603 --> 01:11:29,396
You know, having a conversation
with you is like...

1096
01:11:29,439 --> 01:11:33,067
Is like a Martian talking to a fungo.

1097
01:11:33,109 --> 01:11:34,818
Oh, cute. That's really cute.

1098
01:11:34,903 --> 01:11:36,946
Just because sometimes
you manage to be clever

1099
01:11:36,988 --> 01:11:39,531
and have a nice smile,
does not mean you are not full of shit.

1100
01:11:39,616 --> 01:11:43,327
- What, I'm full of shit?
- You are full of shit.

1101
01:11:43,411 --> 01:11:45,955
- Nuke's chastity was your idea.
- I know! I'm telling you

1102
01:11:46,039 --> 01:11:47,790
- keep your hands out of this.
- I never told him

1103
01:11:47,832 --> 01:11:49,833
- to stay out of your bed.
- You most certainly did.

1104
01:11:49,918 --> 01:11:51,752
- I never told him to stay out of your bed.
- Yes, you did.

1105
01:11:51,795 --> 01:11:55,089
I told him that a player on a streak
has to respect the streak.

1106
01:11:55,131 --> 01:11:56,465
- Fine.
- You know why?

1107
01:11:56,508 --> 01:11:58,467
- 'Cause they don't happen very often.
- Right.

1108
01:11:58,551 --> 01:12:00,803
If you believe you're playing well
because you're getting laid

1109
01:12:00,887 --> 01:12:04,431
or because you're not getting laid,
or because you wear women's underwear

1110
01:12:04,474 --> 01:12:07,476
then you are, and you should know that.

1111
01:12:12,816 --> 01:12:15,776
Come on, Annie.
Think of something clever to say.

1112
01:12:17,279 --> 01:12:21,490
Something full of magic,
religion, bullshit.

1113
01:12:22,742 --> 01:12:24,493
Come on. Dazzle me.

1114
01:12:26,830 --> 01:12:28,831
I want you.

1115
01:12:29,416 --> 01:12:30,916
What?

1116
01:12:31,251 --> 01:12:34,253
- I said, "I want you."
- Stop it.

1117
01:12:40,343 --> 01:12:41,885
You're scared.

1118
01:12:47,100 --> 01:12:48,684
Maybe I am.

1119
01:12:49,603 --> 01:12:52,021
But I still think you should leave.

1120
01:12:55,025 --> 01:12:57,192
Okay. Well,

1121
01:12:57,611 --> 01:13:00,446
this is the damnedest season
I've ever seen.

1122
01:13:00,530 --> 01:13:03,782
I mean, the Durham Bulls can't lose,
and I can't get laid.

1123
01:13:06,411 --> 01:13:07,828
[ORGAN PLAYING CHARGE]

1124
01:13:09,539 --> 01:13:11,707
Come on.
Show them what you got, Super Nuke!

1125
01:13:11,791 --> 01:13:14,376
Show them there, Super Nuke!
Super Nuke!

1126
01:13:14,711 --> 01:13:18,714
LaLoosh. L-A-Loosh! Come on, LaLoosh!
L-A-Loosh! L-A-Loosh!

1127
01:13:19,758 --> 01:13:22,551
Just relax out there.
Don't aim the ball.

1128
01:13:25,472 --> 01:13:28,098
Nuke's overthrowing tonight.
Don't look loose.

1129
01:13:28,183 --> 01:13:30,351
Anything bothering him?

1130
01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:32,144
He says his chakras are jammed.

1131
01:13:32,228 --> 01:13:34,605
He's having trouble breathing
out of his left eyelid.

1132
01:13:34,689 --> 01:13:35,731
- Left eyelid?
- Right eyelid.

1133
01:13:35,774 --> 01:13:37,024
Right eyelid.

1134
01:13:37,734 --> 01:13:39,944
[MEN WHISTLING]

1135
01:13:41,029 --> 01:13:42,321
[CROWD GROANS]

1136
01:13:42,739 --> 01:13:45,074
- Give me the ball.
- Fuck!

1137
01:13:47,911 --> 01:13:48,994
Time out!

1138
01:13:49,079 --> 01:13:51,413
ANNOUNCER: Up to the plate,
Junior Chavley.

1139
01:13:51,498 --> 01:13:52,873
What's wrong?

1140
01:13:52,999 --> 01:13:55,251
I'm a little nervous. My old man's here.

1141
01:13:55,293 --> 01:13:57,628
Your dad's here? Where's he at?

1142
01:13:57,712 --> 01:14:00,673
He's right behind home plate.
Don't look. Don't look.

1143
01:14:03,510 --> 01:14:06,178
Look, he's waving.
Hey, he's just your old man.

1144
01:14:06,263 --> 01:14:07,805
He's as full of shit as anybody.

1145
01:14:07,889 --> 01:14:08,931
What's going on?

1146
01:14:09,015 --> 01:14:10,933
You breathing through
the wrong fucking eyelid again?

1147
01:14:11,017 --> 01:14:13,477
- Shut up.
- You guys hear about Jimmy and Millie?

1148
01:14:13,561 --> 01:14:16,605
They got engaged. Can you believe that?

1149
01:14:16,648 --> 01:14:19,650
Yeah? Wait till I tell him she's gone
down on half the Carolina League.

1150
01:14:19,734 --> 01:14:22,736
Anybody says anything bad about Millie,
I break his neck.

1151
01:14:22,779 --> 01:14:25,281
Excuse me, guys.
I've got a game to pitch here.

1152
01:14:26,783 --> 01:14:28,367
[SPEAKING SPANISH]

1153
01:14:28,618 --> 01:14:30,578
Hey, you guys. Don't throw me anything.

1154
01:14:30,620 --> 01:14:32,204
My girlfriend put a curse on my glove.

1155
01:14:32,289 --> 01:14:34,498
I'll take the hex off the fucking glove.
Give me the glove.

1156
01:14:34,583 --> 01:14:36,875
You gotta cut the head
off a live rooster.

1157
01:14:36,960 --> 01:14:39,086
SPECTATOR: Guys! Play ball!

1158
01:14:40,755 --> 01:14:43,132
What the hell's going on out there?

1159
01:14:43,216 --> 01:14:46,802
Looks like a convention.
Pretty soon they're gonna call the roll.

1160
01:14:47,804 --> 01:14:50,723
- Get your ass out there and check it out.
- You bet.

1161
01:14:54,352 --> 01:14:57,438
SPECTATOR 1 : Let's play some baseball!
SPECTATOR 2: Hurry up!

1162
01:14:58,565 --> 01:15:01,609
Excuse me.
What the hell's going on out here?

1163
01:15:01,651 --> 01:15:03,319
Well, Nuke's scared

1164
01:15:03,403 --> 01:15:06,113
'cause his eyelids are jammed
and his old man's here.

1165
01:15:06,156 --> 01:15:08,657
We need a live... Was it a live rooster?

1166
01:15:08,742 --> 01:15:11,160
We need a live rooster
to take the curse off Jose's glove

1167
01:15:11,244 --> 01:15:13,913
and nobody seems to know
what to get Millie or Jimmy

1168
01:15:13,997 --> 01:15:15,539
for their wedding present.

1169
01:15:15,624 --> 01:15:18,083
That about right?
We're dealing with a lot of shit.

1170
01:15:18,251 --> 01:15:19,418
[ALL AGREEING]

1171
01:15:21,004 --> 01:15:23,422
Okay, well,
candlesticks always make a nice gift.

1172
01:15:23,673 --> 01:15:25,215
Maybe you could find out
where she's registered.

1173
01:15:25,300 --> 01:15:27,843
Maybe a place setting
or a silverware pattern's good.

1174
01:15:27,886 --> 01:15:30,220
Okay, let's get to it. Go get 'em.

1175
01:15:31,181 --> 01:15:33,515
Come on. Get your ass in gear.

1176
01:15:37,270 --> 01:15:40,147
ANNOUNCER: LaLoosh looks in
for the sign. Here's the pitch.

1177
01:15:40,190 --> 01:15:42,983
Ball hit deep in the right
field, off the wall.

1178
01:15:43,026 --> 01:15:44,985
You should be at the game, Annie.

1179
01:15:45,028 --> 01:15:46,528
No, I'm fine.

1180
01:15:46,571 --> 01:15:49,198
Beautiful night for baseball here
in Durham.

1181
01:15:49,282 --> 01:15:50,532
And as the batter steps in...

1182
01:15:50,617 --> 01:15:54,787
How much time did you
and Jimmy spend together

1183
01:15:54,871 --> 01:15:57,039
before he proposed?

1184
01:15:57,082 --> 01:15:59,208
About five hours, I guess.

1185
01:15:59,292 --> 01:16:00,960
We both just knew.

1186
01:16:01,044 --> 01:16:03,045
Once again, he goes to the rosin bag.

1187
01:16:03,129 --> 01:16:04,338
Annie,

1188
01:16:05,340 --> 01:16:07,967
do you think I deserve to wear white?

1189
01:16:08,843 --> 01:16:10,552
Honey, we all deserve to wear white.

1190
01:16:10,595 --> 01:16:11,845
Ball two, in the dirt.

1191
01:16:11,888 --> 01:16:13,722
Come on, Nuke, go get them!

1192
01:16:14,224 --> 01:16:15,516
[SPECTATORS GROAN]

1193
01:16:16,017 --> 01:16:18,394
Shit! Piss! Fuck!

1194
01:16:19,562 --> 01:16:21,355
Bring it! Bring it! Bring it!

1195
01:16:21,398 --> 01:16:22,523
Come on!

1196
01:16:22,565 --> 01:16:24,191
He's coming. Go home! Home!

1197
01:16:24,234 --> 01:16:26,193
We got him! We got him!

1198
01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:30,489
- Safe!
- No, I got him!

1199
01:16:30,574 --> 01:16:32,491
- You missed him!
- I didn't miss him!

1200
01:16:32,576 --> 01:16:36,078
- Don't bump me!
- He still hasn't touched the plate!

1201
01:16:36,329 --> 01:16:38,581
He still ain't touched the plate!

1202
01:16:39,082 --> 01:16:42,626
Fuck it! It's a cocksucking call!

1203
01:16:42,711 --> 01:16:45,129
- Did you call me a cocksucker?
- No, l...

1204
01:16:45,213 --> 01:16:47,756
I said it was a cocksucking call!
You can't throw me for that.

1205
01:16:47,841 --> 01:16:49,967
- You can't run me for that.
- You missed the tag!

1206
01:16:50,051 --> 01:16:53,095
- You just spit on me!
- I did not spit on you!

1207
01:16:53,179 --> 01:16:56,265
You're in the wrong business!
You're Sears & Roebuck material!

1208
01:16:56,308 --> 01:16:58,809
You're pushing it, buddy!
You want me to run you out? I'll run you!

1209
01:16:58,893 --> 01:17:01,437
- You want me to call you a cocksucker?
- Go ahead. Try it.

1210
01:17:01,479 --> 01:17:04,899
Beg me! Pretty please, beg!
Pretty please, beg!

1211
01:17:04,941 --> 01:17:06,775
Call me a cocksucker,
and you're out of here!

1212
01:17:06,860 --> 01:17:08,277
You're a cocksucker.

1213
01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:10,029
- You're a cocksucker.
- You're out of here!

1214
01:17:10,113 --> 01:17:11,322
Shit!

1215
01:17:11,406 --> 01:17:14,241
- What the fuck is that?
- Holy shit!

1216
01:17:16,828 --> 01:17:18,495
[BOTH YELLING]

1217
01:17:19,289 --> 01:17:22,249
- He called me a cocksucker!
- He missed the tag!

1218
01:17:22,626 --> 01:17:24,585
ANNOUNCER: I've never seen
Crash so angry.

1219
01:17:24,628 --> 01:17:26,962
And frankly, sports fans,
he used a certain word

1220
01:17:27,047 --> 01:17:28,964
that's a no-no with umpires.

1221
01:17:31,301 --> 01:17:33,510
Crash must have called
the guy a cocksucker.

1222
01:17:33,637 --> 01:17:36,639
Mmm. God, he's so romantic.

1223
01:17:39,392 --> 01:17:42,436
ANNIE: When Crash got thrown out,
the game got out of hand.

1224
01:17:43,271 --> 01:17:46,649
Jose made three errors
with his cursed mitt.

1225
01:17:46,816 --> 01:17:50,069
Nuke never quite got in the groove,
though he didn't pitch bad

1226
01:17:50,153 --> 01:17:53,781
and the winning streak
came to an end with a 3-2 loss.

1227
01:17:54,241 --> 01:17:57,576
The good news was that a man
was about to come calling.

1228
01:17:57,827 --> 01:18:00,913
Bad news was it was the wrong guy.

1229
01:18:01,039 --> 01:18:04,166
<i>[NON, JE NE REGRETTE RIEN PLAYING]</i>

1230
01:18:21,351 --> 01:18:23,018
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

1231
01:18:37,117 --> 01:18:38,492
Annie.

1232
01:18:41,371 --> 01:18:42,830
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

1233
01:18:43,206 --> 01:18:44,498
Annie.

1234
01:18:46,960 --> 01:18:50,337
I know you're in there.
I can hear that crazy Mexican singer.

1235
01:18:56,219 --> 01:18:57,720
We lost.

1236
01:18:58,388 --> 01:18:59,722
It's okay.

1237
01:19:01,308 --> 01:19:04,226
Oh, Annie, I�d like you
to meet my father.

1238
01:19:04,269 --> 01:19:05,603
Oh, my!

1239
01:19:05,687 --> 01:19:08,314
Ebby's told me a lot about you.

1240
01:19:08,398 --> 01:19:12,693
Ebby tells me you taught him a lot
about discipline and self-control.

1241
01:19:12,736 --> 01:19:15,362
We were worried that he might
get involved in the wrong crowd.

1242
01:19:15,405 --> 01:19:17,573
We're so pleased
he met a Christian woman.

1243
01:19:17,616 --> 01:19:19,074
Praise the Lord.

1244
01:19:20,368 --> 01:19:21,410
[PHONE RINGING]

1245
01:19:21,494 --> 01:19:22,578
Excuse me.

1246
01:19:22,746 --> 01:19:24,038
Excuse me, Dad.

1247
01:19:27,125 --> 01:19:29,209
Hello? What?

1248
01:19:31,630 --> 01:19:34,840
- We got a lot of catching up to do.
- Your father is right there.

1249
01:19:34,925 --> 01:19:36,550
Crash tells me I gotta quit
worrying about him

1250
01:19:36,593 --> 01:19:39,303
so I think it's a good opportunity
to go for a quickie.

1251
01:19:39,387 --> 01:19:41,680
We gotta talk. We gotta...

1252
01:19:41,765 --> 01:19:43,265
Hello?

1253
01:19:43,767 --> 01:19:46,393
Yes, he most certainly is here.

1254
01:19:46,436 --> 01:19:48,354
It's Skip for you.

1255
01:19:49,898 --> 01:19:51,398
Hey, Skip, it's me.

1256
01:19:56,154 --> 01:19:57,279
What?

1257
01:19:59,699 --> 01:20:00,991
My God.

1258
01:20:02,285 --> 01:20:03,619
[EXCLAIMS]

1259
01:20:03,995 --> 01:20:05,162
Okay.

1260
01:20:06,206 --> 01:20:08,290
Yeah. All right.

1261
01:20:08,333 --> 01:20:10,167
What?

1262
01:20:10,293 --> 01:20:12,127
I'm going to the Show.

1263
01:20:13,004 --> 01:20:14,463
[EXCLAIMING]

1264
01:20:18,134 --> 01:20:19,510
Dad!

1265
01:20:19,594 --> 01:20:22,596
They're sending me up to the majors.
I leave first thing in the morning.

1266
01:20:22,639 --> 01:20:24,306
Can you believe it?

1267
01:20:26,184 --> 01:20:27,935
MR. LaLOOSH: Let's have
a quick word of prayer.

1268
01:20:27,978 --> 01:20:29,645
Oh, let's not.

1269
01:20:30,814 --> 01:20:32,648
I gotta find Crash.
Come on. I'll dump you off.

1270
01:20:32,691 --> 01:20:33,816
Wait.

1271
01:20:35,402 --> 01:20:38,028
Not so fast. He'll be right with you.

1272
01:20:38,113 --> 01:20:41,574
Come on, sweetie. I just want
to have you alone for a second

1273
01:20:41,658 --> 01:20:44,118
so we can say goodbye.

1274
01:20:44,160 --> 01:20:45,661
I'll be back.

1275
01:20:45,704 --> 01:20:48,205
When somebody leaves Durham,
they don't come back.

1276
01:20:48,290 --> 01:20:49,873
I mean, later.

1277
01:20:53,336 --> 01:20:54,336
Oh.

1278
01:21:00,719 --> 01:21:01,719
Huh.

1279
01:21:05,015 --> 01:21:08,434
Oh, God, Annie. Jeez.

1280
01:21:10,562 --> 01:21:14,607
- What do you have in there?
- Nothing.

1281
01:21:15,025 --> 01:21:17,568
You're not going to
be needing these anymore.

1282
01:21:17,736 --> 01:21:20,696
- I�d better take them.
- No, you're ready.

1283
01:21:20,906 --> 01:21:23,449
You think so?
You think I'm ready for this?

1284
01:21:24,659 --> 01:21:27,202
Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh,

1285
01:21:30,373 --> 01:21:32,333
don't think too much.

1286
01:21:34,836 --> 01:21:36,295
I won't.

1287
01:21:40,091 --> 01:21:42,051
You know something, Annie.

1288
01:21:43,428 --> 01:21:46,221
You can't breathe through your eyelids.

1289
01:21:47,223 --> 01:21:49,058
Of course you can't breathe
through your eyelids.

1290
01:21:49,100 --> 01:21:52,227
Whoever told you such
a ridiculous thing?

1291
01:22:06,368 --> 01:22:08,244
Now, get. Come on.

1292
01:22:12,207 --> 01:22:14,124
Drive careful.

1293
01:22:16,628 --> 01:22:18,212
[SIGHS] Oh, my.

1294
01:22:34,437 --> 01:22:36,272
NUKE: Hey, there you are.

1295
01:22:37,065 --> 01:22:38,816
Crash.

1296
01:22:39,943 --> 01:22:43,362
Hey, Crash, guess what.

1297
01:22:44,656 --> 01:22:46,323
Guess what, man.

1298
01:22:48,118 --> 01:22:49,952
I'm going to the Show.

1299
01:22:51,288 --> 01:22:54,123
Big club's expanding its roster
to finish out the season.

1300
01:22:54,165 --> 01:22:55,291
Nice shot.

1301
01:22:55,375 --> 01:22:57,459
And I am going to the Show.

1302
01:22:58,712 --> 01:23:00,671
So why don't you go then?

1303
01:23:00,839 --> 01:23:02,756
Let's celebrate!

1304
01:23:04,301 --> 01:23:05,968
Congratulations.

1305
01:23:07,929 --> 01:23:09,597
Hope you end up on the cover
of Sports Illustrated

1306
01:23:09,639 --> 01:23:11,265
or maybe a cereal box.

1307
01:23:13,018 --> 01:23:15,102
What's your problem, man?

1308
01:23:15,645 --> 01:23:17,521
I'm trying to thank you.
Come on. Let's get out of this dump.

1309
01:23:17,606 --> 01:23:19,315
- I'll buy you a beer.
- Hey.

1310
01:23:19,524 --> 01:23:23,152
- You calling my place a dump?
- No, he's not. No, he's not.

1311
01:23:24,529 --> 01:23:26,155
- He's not. Are you?
- No.

1312
01:23:26,197 --> 01:23:27,489
He's not.

1313
01:23:27,532 --> 01:23:29,325
All right?

1314
01:23:29,409 --> 01:23:31,118
Nuke, do you know who this is?

1315
01:23:31,912 --> 01:23:33,662
This is Sandy Grimes.

1316
01:23:33,705 --> 01:23:37,291
Sandy Grimes hit .371
in Louisville in 1 967.

1317
01:23:37,334 --> 01:23:39,501
.376.

1318
01:23:39,544 --> 01:23:43,964
I'm sorry. He hit .376.
That's a career, man.

1319
01:23:46,676 --> 01:23:48,886
- In any league.
- Got that right.

1320
01:23:48,970 --> 01:23:52,765
Did you hear what I said?
I'm going to the Show.

1321
01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:57,102
You know what the difference
between hitting .250 and .300 is?

1322
01:23:58,355 --> 01:24:00,147
It's 25 hits.

1323
01:24:00,982 --> 01:24:05,194
Twenty-five hits
in 500 at-bats is 50 points. Okay?

1324
01:24:05,237 --> 01:24:07,988
There's six months in a season.
That's about 25 weeks.

1325
01:24:08,031 --> 01:24:11,367
That means if you get
just one extra flare a week. Just one.

1326
01:24:11,409 --> 01:24:13,869
A gork. You get a ground ball.

1327
01:24:13,912 --> 01:24:16,205
You get a ground ball with eyes.

1328
01:24:16,248 --> 01:24:18,540
You get a dying quail.

1329
01:24:20,126 --> 01:24:24,588
Just one more dying quail a week
and you're in Yankee Stadium.

1330
01:24:25,715 --> 01:24:28,884
You still don't know
what I'm talking about, do you?

1331
01:24:28,927 --> 01:24:30,886
Get the hell out of here.

1332
01:24:31,137 --> 01:24:32,680
All right.

1333
01:24:33,139 --> 01:24:34,765
Fuck.

1334
01:24:35,433 --> 01:24:36,976
Send you a postcard.

1335
01:24:37,060 --> 01:24:39,061
Send me a postcard? Hey, I made it.

1336
01:24:39,104 --> 01:24:40,562
You made it. You made shit.

1337
01:24:40,605 --> 01:24:42,606
Hey! Hey!

1338
01:24:43,233 --> 01:24:44,858
[MEN EXCLAIMING]

1339
01:24:45,735 --> 01:24:46,902
You crazy?

1340
01:24:46,945 --> 01:24:48,821
What the hell's wrong with you?

1341
01:24:48,905 --> 01:24:51,865
- I'll be all right.
- I'm talking about my mirror.

1342
01:24:53,326 --> 01:24:55,327
Shit, I'm sorry. Hey!

1343
01:24:55,412 --> 01:24:57,580
I'm not gonna fight you, man.
I'm not gonna fight you.

1344
01:24:57,664 --> 01:24:59,665
What do you mean,
you're not gonna fight me, you fuck?

1345
01:24:59,749 --> 01:25:01,959
- Fuck. Why am I a fuck?
- Why are you a fuck?

1346
01:25:02,043 --> 01:25:03,627
Because you got talent.

1347
01:25:03,878 --> 01:25:06,630
I got brains, but you got talent.

1348
01:25:07,799 --> 01:25:11,218
See this right arm?
Worth a million bucks a year.

1349
01:25:11,261 --> 01:25:14,013
All my limbs put together
aren't worth seven cents a pound.

1350
01:25:14,097 --> 01:25:15,931
What are you talking about?
You're a great catcher.

1351
01:25:15,974 --> 01:25:18,934
- I'm a great catcher?
- Yeah.

1352
01:25:19,311 --> 01:25:20,561
- Forget it.
- Hey.

1353
01:25:20,604 --> 01:25:22,605
- Fucking forget it.
- Hey, Meat.

1354
01:25:22,731 --> 01:25:24,440
[GROANING]

1355
01:25:25,817 --> 01:25:27,026
Damn!

1356
01:25:28,737 --> 01:25:30,821
I didn't mean to hit you, man.

1357
01:25:33,158 --> 01:25:35,367
You hurt my eye!

1358
01:25:35,702 --> 01:25:36,702
[GROANS]

1359
01:25:37,412 --> 01:25:39,038
Sorry.

1360
01:25:39,122 --> 01:25:47,546
Did you hit me with your right hand,
did you hit me with your left?

1361
01:25:47,631 --> 01:25:50,174
- My left.
- Good. That's good.

1362
01:25:50,258 --> 01:25:54,595
When you get in a fight with a drunk,
you don't hit him with your pitching hand.

1363
01:25:54,971 --> 01:25:58,098
God, I can't keep giving you
these free lessons.

1364
01:25:58,141 --> 01:26:00,643
So quit screwing around and help me up.

1365
01:26:07,317 --> 01:26:09,109
You look great, man.

1366
01:26:20,205 --> 01:26:22,122
Be careful with the bags.

1367
01:26:22,749 --> 01:26:25,125
We got a boy going to the Show.

1368
01:26:54,322 --> 01:26:56,240
Sorry about last night.

1369
01:27:00,245 --> 01:27:01,620
Forget it.

1370
01:27:05,083 --> 01:27:09,878
I have been known on occasion
to howl at the moon.

1371
01:27:11,673 --> 01:27:13,215
You understand?

1372
01:27:15,218 --> 01:27:16,218
Um...

1373
01:27:18,221 --> 01:27:19,722
No.

1374
01:27:20,390 --> 01:27:21,932
Well, you will.

1375
01:27:24,269 --> 01:27:25,686
Look, Nuke,

1376
01:27:26,146 --> 01:27:29,231
these big-league hitters are going
to light you up like a pinball machine

1377
01:27:29,274 --> 01:27:31,901
for a while, all right?

1378
01:27:31,943 --> 01:27:33,861
Don't worry about it.

1379
01:27:33,904 --> 01:27:37,573
You be cocky and arrogant,
even when you're getting beat.

1380
01:27:39,409 --> 01:27:40,910
That's the secret.

1381
01:27:43,079 --> 01:27:47,124
You gotta play this game
with fear and arrogance.

1382
01:27:49,085 --> 01:27:50,669
Fear and ignorance.

1383
01:27:52,088 --> 01:27:56,634
No, fear and arrogance,
you hayseed, not ignorance.

1384
01:27:56,718 --> 01:27:58,260
I know. I know.

1385
01:27:59,429 --> 01:28:01,931
I just like seeing you
get all worked up.

1386
01:28:08,229 --> 01:28:09,438
Listen.

1387
01:28:13,276 --> 01:28:14,485
Thanks.

1388
01:28:31,920 --> 01:28:33,128
Hey, Nuke.

1389
01:28:35,924 --> 01:28:37,299
Good luck.

1390
01:28:37,634 --> 01:28:40,636
You too, Meat.

1391
01:28:48,603 --> 01:28:50,479
[WEDDING MARCH
PLAYING ON ORGAN]

1392
01:29:00,949 --> 01:29:03,117
I now pronounce you husband and wife.

1393
01:29:03,159 --> 01:29:05,160
You may kiss the bride.

1394
01:29:37,903 --> 01:29:42,239
Jimmy, we all pitched in,
and we got you a little gift.

1395
01:29:42,324 --> 01:29:43,407
Tony.

1396
01:29:43,491 --> 01:29:46,660
Kind of a special wedding cake
from the Durham Bulls.

1397
01:29:48,038 --> 01:29:49,538
[ALL CHEERING]

1398
01:29:50,290 --> 01:29:52,207
Oh, my Lord!

1399
01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:58,672
Yeah, Skip?

1400
01:29:59,883 --> 01:30:01,800
You wanted to see me?

1401
01:30:02,552 --> 01:30:06,013
Crash, shut the door.

1402
01:30:10,977 --> 01:30:12,436
JIMMY: I wanna thank everyone!

1403
01:30:12,520 --> 01:30:14,271
PLAYER: Give me a piece of that!

1404
01:30:26,451 --> 01:30:29,411
This is the toughest job a manager has.

1405
01:30:32,749 --> 01:30:34,041
But...

1406
01:30:37,045 --> 01:30:39,546
The organization wants to make a change.

1407
01:30:40,757 --> 01:30:45,636
Now that Nuke's gone,
they wanna bring up some young catcher.

1408
01:30:45,720 --> 01:30:48,097
LARRY: Some kid hitting .300
in Bluefield.

1409
01:30:48,139 --> 01:30:50,057
He's probably a bust.

1410
01:30:50,850 --> 01:30:54,019
COACH: I put in a word for you
with the organization.

1411
01:30:54,104 --> 01:30:58,482
Told them I thought you might make
a fine minor-league manager someday.

1412
01:31:01,027 --> 01:31:05,531
There might be an opening
at Visalia next year.

1413
01:31:08,618 --> 01:31:10,661
You had a hell of a year, Crash.

1414
01:31:12,247 --> 01:31:13,455
But...

1415
01:31:14,624 --> 01:31:16,458
you know how it is.

1416
01:32:39,834 --> 01:32:41,752
I got released.

1417
01:32:42,837 --> 01:32:44,380
I heard already.

1418
01:34:00,957 --> 01:34:02,958
Oh, my.

1419
01:34:53,009 --> 01:34:54,551
[ANNIE MOANING]

1420
01:35:01,101 --> 01:35:03,560
I think probably with my love
for four-legged creatures

1421
01:35:03,645 --> 01:35:06,522
and hooves and everything,
that in another lifetime

1422
01:35:06,564 --> 01:35:09,358
I was probably Catherine the Great
or Francis of Assisi.

1423
01:35:09,401 --> 01:35:11,360
I'm not sure which one.

1424
01:35:12,654 --> 01:35:14,363
What do you think, honey?

1425
01:35:16,491 --> 01:35:20,911
How come in former lifetimes
everybody is somebody famous?

1426
01:35:26,376 --> 01:35:27,876
I mean...

1427
01:35:30,297 --> 01:35:33,382
How come nobody ever says
they were "Joe Schmoe"?

1428
01:35:33,466 --> 01:35:36,760
Because it doesn't work that way,
you fool.

1429
01:35:45,437 --> 01:35:47,354
God, you are gorgeous.

1430
01:35:50,066 --> 01:35:51,775
You wanna dance?

1431
01:36:07,083 --> 01:36:08,167
Yes.

1432
01:36:08,919 --> 01:36:10,336
I guess you do.

1433
01:36:15,759 --> 01:36:18,594
<i>[SIXTY MINUTE MAN PLAYING]</i>

1434
01:37:56,651 --> 01:38:14,752
[MEOWS]

1435
01:38:45,116 --> 01:38:47,368
ANNIE: Crash took off at dawn.

1436
01:38:47,410 --> 01:38:49,912
Said he heard there might be
an opening for a catcher in Asheville

1437
01:38:49,996 --> 01:38:51,997
in the South Atlantic League.

1438
01:38:52,958 --> 01:38:54,917
A woman should be
so strong and powerful

1439
01:38:54,960 --> 01:38:57,544
that she's not affected by such things.

1440
01:38:57,879 --> 01:39:00,089
I mean, it wasn't the first time
I went to bed with a guy

1441
01:39:00,173 --> 01:39:02,216
and woke up with a note.

1442
01:39:02,592 --> 01:39:05,261
At least the son of a bitch
left me breakfast.

1443
01:39:07,973 --> 01:39:12,101
You have to respect a ballplayer
who's just trying to finish the season.

1444
01:39:12,269 --> 01:39:14,520
At least, that's what I told myself.

1445
01:39:15,480 --> 01:39:18,732
Baseball may be a religion
full of magic, cosmic truth

1446
01:39:18,775 --> 01:39:21,902
and the fundamental ontological
riddles of our time,

1447
01:39:22,112 --> 01:39:24,113
but it's also a job.

1448
01:39:25,865 --> 01:39:29,118
CRASH: Come on, Meat.
Throw me that weak-ass shit.

1449
01:39:29,953 --> 01:39:32,496
Come on.
You ain't getting that cheese by me.

1450
01:39:32,706 --> 01:39:36,625
Bring it. Bring it. Bring it.

1451
01:39:37,669 --> 01:39:42,631
When Crash hit his 247th home run,
I knew the moment it happened.

1452
01:39:42,716 --> 01:39:44,633
But I'm sure nobody else did.

1453
01:39:45,051 --> 01:39:48,470
And The Sporting News
didn't say anything about it.

1454
01:39:49,848 --> 01:39:53,017
"Full many a flower is born
to blush unseen,

1455
01:39:53,101 --> 01:39:57,229
"And waste its sweetness
on the desert air." Thomas Gray.

1456
01:39:57,981 --> 01:40:01,317
Or William Cullen Bryant.
I don't know. I get 'em mixed up.

1457
01:40:01,651 --> 01:40:05,613
Anyway, my attempts at housekeeping
were feeble as usual.

1458
01:40:05,655 --> 01:40:08,407
I sometimes get easily distracted.

1459
01:40:08,783 --> 01:40:12,077
Funny thing was
I stopped worrying about Nuke.

1460
01:40:12,162 --> 01:40:14,705
Somehow I knew nothing would stop him.

1461
01:40:14,789 --> 01:40:18,876
The world is made for people
who aren't cursed with self-awareness.

1462
01:40:19,085 --> 01:40:22,087
Crash was right, Nuke had a gift.

1463
01:40:22,172 --> 01:40:26,133
I'm just happy to be here,
and I hope I can help the ball club.

1464
01:40:26,343 --> 01:40:28,218
You know, I just wanna
give it my best shot.

1465
01:40:28,303 --> 01:40:30,429
And the good Lord willing,
things will work out.

1466
01:40:30,513 --> 01:40:32,723
You know, you gotta play 'em
one day at a time, though.

1467
01:40:32,807 --> 01:40:34,934
Raye Anne, right?
That's a beautiful name.

1468
01:40:35,018 --> 01:40:38,270
Is that Greek? Raye Anne.
It's a beautiful name.

1469
01:40:38,355 --> 01:40:40,856
There's a great song by Motley Crue.
Do you know it?

1470
01:40:40,941 --> 01:40:43,275
"Raye Anne, she's a stay in." No?

1471
01:40:43,360 --> 01:40:45,444
Anyway, a good friend of mine
used to say,

1472
01:40:45,528 --> 01:40:47,404
"This is a very simple game.

1473
01:40:47,489 --> 01:40:50,032
"You throw the ball,
you catch the ball, you hit the ball.

1474
01:40:50,075 --> 01:40:53,285
"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

1475
01:40:53,536 --> 01:40:56,080
"Sometimes it rains."

1476
01:40:56,498 --> 01:40:58,374
Think about that for a while.

1477
01:41:45,130 --> 01:41:47,339
Oh, my.

1478
01:42:30,926 --> 01:42:32,426
What happened?

1479
01:42:34,137 --> 01:42:35,304
I quit.

1480
01:42:37,974 --> 01:42:40,434
Hit my dinger and I hung them up.

1481
01:42:42,270 --> 01:42:43,979
[THUNDER RUMBLING]

1482
01:42:47,025 --> 01:42:48,984
I'm quitting too.

1483
01:42:49,027 --> 01:42:51,237
I mean, boys, not baseball.

1484
01:42:53,949 --> 01:42:58,160
There might be an opening for a manager
in Visalia next spring.

1485
01:43:02,582 --> 01:43:05,292
Think I could make it
to the Show as a manager?

1486
01:43:07,379 --> 01:43:12,925
You'd be great.

1487
01:43:14,719 --> 01:43:19,014
I mean, because you understand
about nonlinear thinking.

1488
01:43:19,057 --> 01:43:23,560
I mean, baseball seems like a linear game
with all those lines and box scores.

1489
01:43:23,645 --> 01:43:26,188
But the fact is, it's a spacious
non-time kind of time to it.

1490
01:43:26,231 --> 01:43:27,356
Annie.

1491
01:43:28,483 --> 01:43:29,650
What?

1492
01:43:30,235 --> 01:43:33,070
I got a lot of time to
hear your theories.

1493
01:43:33,613 --> 01:43:36,365
And I wanna hear every damn one of them,

1494
01:43:38,451 --> 01:43:41,954
but now I'm tired and I don't want
to think about baseball.

1495
01:43:42,038 --> 01:43:44,331
And I don't wanna think
about quantum physics.

1496
01:43:44,374 --> 01:43:46,792
And I don't wanna think about nothing.

1497
01:43:51,131 --> 01:43:52,756
I just wanna be.

1498
01:43:55,176 --> 01:43:57,094
I can do that, too.

1499
01:43:59,514 --> 01:44:04,059
Walt Whitman once said,
"I see great things in baseball.

1500
01:44:04,144 --> 01:44:07,187
"It's our game. The American game.

1501
01:44:07,230 --> 01:44:10,566
"It will repair our losses
and be a blessing to us."

1502
01:44:11,234 --> 01:44:12,735
You could look it up.

1503
01:44:13,653 --> 01:44:17,698
<i>[LOVE AIN'T NO TRIPLE PLAY PLAYING]</i>

1504
01:45:14,673 --> 01:45:17,383
<i>[WOMAN LOVES A MAN PLAYING]</i>