1 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,882 Hey, love your umbrella. 2 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,698 Oh, oh. Dr. Mills. Dr. Budlong. 3 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,334 Morosini, Carvalho, come with me. 4 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,971 If he thinks he's going to ruin anymore 5 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,307 equipment he's underestimated the facility. 6 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,582 He thinks he's cute, doesn't he? 7 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,984 Yes, but I was mother's favorite. 8 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,453 Dr. Mills. 9 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,255 -Uh! 10 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,756 -This is the last time I'll warn you. 11 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:11,124 I won't let the Klystron go above 300. 12 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,628 That's what you said last time it rained, but you turned it to 350. 13 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,164 Do you know what it costs to repair a Klystron tube? 14 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,467 I know, Dr. Budlong. I'm very sorry, 15 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,934 but believe me it won't happen again. 16 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,304 You have my word on that, and I promise. 17 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,806 Don't worry. He can't go blowing up 18 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,975 your Klyman tube or whatever it is. 19 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,878 We've got a date tonight, happy hour at Mingles. 20 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,281 Mingles. You know what that means? 21 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,415 What? 22 00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:36,650 It means complimentary hors d'oeuvres. 23 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,620 A veritable who's who of secretaries and beauticians. 24 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:42,356 It means 20th century music. 25 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:46,193 You look like a sensible man. You believe there's life on other planets? 26 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,061 I don't believe there's life in this room. 27 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,697 Exactly. 28 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,899 Your brother wants to send a radar signal 29 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,468 to a point in space so far away... 30 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:57,571 It'd take 92 years to get there and 92 years to get back. 31 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,707 Ninety-two years? Steve, we're late now. 32 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:03,277 Indeed. There isn't anything out there, Dr. Mills. 33 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,112 We're it. 34 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:09,283 Now don't you go above 300 or I'm revoking your funding. 35 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,888 Now that Dr. Strangelove is gone, let's go. 36 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,457 Mingles is at high party. 37 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,091 I can't tonight, Ron. 38 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,295 It's raining. 39 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,863 Tonight I've got another destination in mind. 40 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,598 I wanna go right there. 41 00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,268 Clouds of Magellan. 42 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:31,271 It sounds like some kind of woman's underwear. 43 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:34,708 No, the Clouds of Magellan is the name of our neighboring galaxy. 44 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,977 You want to send a radar signal to the next galaxy? 45 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,279 You can't get radar to the next galaxy. 46 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,114 You'd have to travel faster than the speed of light. 47 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,116 No one can do that. 48 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,886 Don't watch that, it won't change. This is the one to watch. 49 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,688 I like the Clouds of Magellan. 50 00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,490 We can't get there, Ron. 51 00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:51,224 But if we increase the power of 52 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,493 the Klystron, with lightning... 53 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,161 ...we may get a signal strong enough 54 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:55,529 to get out of the solar system. 55 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,297 That's the theory, anyway. 56 00:04:57,365 --> 00:05:00,868 Right. Thanks. Tell me something I don't know. 57 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,806 Can't this wait? Secretaries are like animals 58 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,608 when it comes to free food. 59 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:10,444 The reflectors line up for 10 days only once every 19 months. 60 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:13,146 Now, with all this rain and lightning, it's perfect. 61 00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,015 Perfect for men like us. 62 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:19,687 Christ! Steve, when was the last time you went out with a woman? 63 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:23,857 January of '86. No. March of '86. 64 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:27,828 I took Dr. Elizabeth Conway to see the Halley's Comet retrospective. 65 00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:28,996 Superb. 66 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,063 You see it? 67 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,099 Sure, a couple of times. 68 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,435 How can we be brothers? We don't have a single gene in common. 69 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,405 Not above 300 kilowatts. 70 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,772 Hi. 71 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,442 -Hi. -No, no. I'm not waving at you. 72 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,311 Okay. Thank you. Have fun. 73 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,516 We have no time to sweep frequencies. 74 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,350 We'll lower it below three centimetres. 75 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,420 But below? 76 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:56,524 Oh! It's raining out here. I'm getting wet! 77 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:59,660 This jacket is a Ralph Lauren! 78 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,194 And it's smelly. 79 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,063 Great, just great. 80 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,566 I'm wet and smelly. They're gonna jump all over me. 81 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,674 Hey! Do you guys smell fish? 82 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,446 Oh! 83 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,913 Oh! It's me! 84 00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:34,327 Help me rotate the dish. 85 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,129 Where's this lightning supposed to strike? 86 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,465 Right here. 87 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,067 Here? 88 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,037 That almost hit my shoe. 89 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,407 Excuse me. 90 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,615 All the way up. 91 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:08,061 I hate this. What the hell is this thing? 92 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,564 Klystron tube. Potential of 400 megawatts, 93 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,500 at an oscillation of 60 gigahertz. 94 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,935 Great. Why don't we take this to Mingles? 95 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,838 Science crap. 96 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,273 Stupid piece of garbage. 97 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,912 Now all we gotta do is harness the lightning. 98 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,696 Yes, it's good. Let's try for lightning. 99 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,097 Is this important? 100 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,866 Only if it works. 101 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,669 Okay, deep breath. Set your retractors. 102 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:52,540 How long is this gonna take? Single women have short attention spans. 103 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,076 Prepare to initiate the system. 104 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,311 Now! 105 00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:00,447 Oh, Jesus! 106 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,420 -We got it! -Look at it! 107 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,689 WE got it. We got it. 108 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:11,491 It's going! I love you! 109 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,419 -What is happening? 110 00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:42,455 Steve! What's happening? 111 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:46,927 Mills! 112 00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,528 Mills! 113 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:51,098 What is happening? 114 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:02,075 The Klystron! 115 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,320 Wow! 116 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,832 WOMAN OVER PA: We have a red condition in the second unit. 117 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,668 MAN: Fire control! The laboratory area. 118 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,506 I'm okay. 119 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,308 I'm okay. 120 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,814 -Beautiful! 121 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:45,819 What? 122 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,355 My God! 123 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,625 I didn't only get out of the solar system, I just went out of the galaxy. 124 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,394 That means we were traveling faster than the speed of light. 125 00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,163 How the hell did we do that? 126 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,669 Hey, Doctor. 127 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,503 -I just... We just... 128 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,384 GIRL: Eleven seconds on the clock. 129 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,620 Down by one. Mills fakes left. Goes around Magic Johnson. 130 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:23,090 Puts Kareem in the popcorn machine. 131 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,926 -And... 132 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:35,235 Why can't I dunk? Is that asking so much? 133 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:50,984 You got out of the galaxy and they fired you? 134 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,520 We were using lightning to boost the power of the Klystron. 135 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,322 I shorted every telemetry tracker 136 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,990 in the place and all my monitors. 137 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,391 So there's no proof. 138 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,662 That's not fair. 139 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,431 What are we going to do? 140 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,768 I might just have to take a... 141 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:09,837 What? 142 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,840 Take a teaching job. 143 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,909 You know how that is? One position for every 16 applicants. 144 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:17,811 I could double my babysitting. 145 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,579 Or take up a newspaper route. 146 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,015 Do girls do that now? 147 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,020 It's beautiful up there. 148 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,956 Hmm. 149 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,092 Two hundred billion stars in our galaxy. Wow! 150 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:35,095 That's really my office up there. 151 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:36,997 I wish Mom could have lived long enough 152 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,299 to see you get out of the galaxy. 153 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,235 She'd be having the whole block in for champagne! 154 00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:47,540 Think you'll ever find anyone like her again? 155 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,412 Oh, boy. Jess, I don't know. 156 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,582 The chances of me finding another woman 157 00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,517 like your mother are the same... 158 00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,186 ...as me proving there's life on another planet up there. 159 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,454 Figure one in 16 billion. 160 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,626 All right, Larry Byrd, what's for dinner? 161 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,395 Fish sticks. Pop tarts. 162 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,064 Frozen pizza. Whatever else we can nuke in the microwave. 163 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,470 What do you say, Dave? 164 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,339 Can we see Sirius tonight? 165 00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,576 You know, it's also called the Dog Star. 166 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,416 Come on. 167 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,320 CELESTE: It's quite a small planet, really. 168 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:11,191 MAN: Half the size of ours, but very busy. 169 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,593 -Have you mastered it yet? -Of course. 170 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,762 You know how superb our research is. 171 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:19,032 All I have to do is teach you everything I know in 20 minutes. 172 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,768 We're at light 30 approaching light 35. 173 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:25,372 This is a record glide speed. They didn't think we'd make it this fast. 174 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:28,341 Look, it's Saturn. 175 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:32,412 -Could we stop there on the way back? -Maybe. 176 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,015 Why can't I fit Neptune into this picture? 177 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,185 Wait. That works. 178 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,022 Neptunians won't like it, though. 179 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:43,823 Let's see here. 180 00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,527 Look at Neptune now! 181 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,630 -Dad, we'll be late for Uncle Ron's party. -Look at Neptune. 182 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,866 I haven't finished the M.l.T. proposal yet. 183 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,267 Come on. 184 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,802 I hate leaving the universe in such a mess. 185 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,271 Here, put this on. 186 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,440 Look at this. Do these things ever work? No. 187 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,411 The modern light bulb has a half-life of about 10 minutes. 188 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,712 I'm going to take it apart. 189 00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,180 It's not the bulb, it's the switch. 190 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,649 You've been meaning to fix it, remember. 191 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,888 Dad, you're impossible. 192 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,523 Do we have any socks? 193 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,698 See, I knew I had a pair in reserve. And they're dry. 194 00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,467 I've been cooking 'em since yesterday. 195 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:30,503 Daddy, look at me. Do you see anything different about me? 196 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,007 Ah! 197 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,842 I'm wearing a bra. 198 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:38,111 You can't be! You're only 13! 199 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:40,948 My God! 200 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,416 You're 13. 201 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,254 A bra? Uh. 202 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,792 Well, did you get the right strap size? 203 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:55,895 Cup size. Yeah, A-minus. 204 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,301 Well, well, well. 205 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,337 Where have I been? 206 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:21,588 CELESTE: How can I learn everything I need to know in only six more minutes? 207 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,523 MAN: This is a very backward planet. 208 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,725 The Mondschein 40 is the most advanced 209 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,261 research facility in the northern universe. 210 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,263 Research has determined you must be 211 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,732 the most desirable woman on the planet. 212 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,934 Men on Earth will fall to their knees... 213 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,070 Betray their countries and give away 214 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,805 real estate for a beautiful woman. 215 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,407 That's silly. 216 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,247 CELESTE: Will I need to eat? 217 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:50,150 MAN: No. We'll only be in the place for 24 hours. 218 00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:55,888 This is the most important assignment any of us has undertaken. 219 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,895 CELESTE: I feel so poorly prepared. 220 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,497 You're the Earth expert. 221 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:07,367 But you are the Chief Extragalactic Probist. 222 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,502 You know the Council's directive. 223 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,504 I can only be your adviser. 224 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,940 Are you sure this research is accurate? 225 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:17,010 Celeste, the Mondschein 40 is never wrong. 226 00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:17,737 Oh! 227 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,030 Right. Let's go. 228 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,648 Hors d'oeuvres? 229 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,153 Kimberly. 230 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,288 -You met my brother Steve? -No. 231 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,423 You gotta watch out for him, but in the best sense. 232 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,859 He cares too deeply, like a sparrow. 233 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,232 You've got something on your lip. 234 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,542 A little dip there. 235 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,145 I think flossing is so important, too. 236 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:35,114 When I get up in the morning, I don't even go to the bathroom first. 237 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,550 I floss and then I go. 238 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,918 That's so great. 239 00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:41,488 Ron, I'm beginning to think you're avoiding me. 240 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,960 -Hi. -Ahem. 241 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,298 Oh, hi. 242 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,669 Are you Dr. Steve Mills? 243 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:03,576 He's the guy dancing with his daughter. 244 00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:09,949 Hors d'oeuvres? 245 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,226 Thank you. Delicious. 246 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,430 Hello. 247 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,764 Are you Dr. Steve Mills? 248 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,533 Yes. 249 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,068 Will you tell me the composition of your radar beam or not? 250 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,970 Oh, ho. Which one? 251 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:34,241 Now, you don't fool me. Your favorite color is red. 252 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,576 Your favorite food is lasagna, 253 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,978 and your favorite rocking is Pink Fred. 254 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:43,216 Actually, I prefer green, I'm allergic to all pasta... 255 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,385 ...and my favorite rock is Rachmaninoff. 256 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,788 Of course you'd say that. 257 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,824 I think it's Pink Floyd, not Pink Fred right, Jessie? 258 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,293 Pink Fred is their nickname. 259 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,629 Would you hold this for me, please? 260 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,498 "Hey, hey we're the Monkees 261 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,500 "People say we monkey around 262 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,236 "But we're too busy singing to put anybody down." 263 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,437 What? 264 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:07,173 Do you know what they say? "Nixon's the One!" 265 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,008 Dick Nixon? 266 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,310 Okay. 267 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,947 See you later, bro. 268 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,488 Sailor, I like your jeep. 269 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,990 You've broken my heart for the last time. 270 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,896 You've broken my heart for the last time, too. 271 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:36,369 Do you have any spinach, my hands are freezing? 272 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:41,073 "I'm Popeye the sailor man I'm Popeye the sailor man 273 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,776 "I'm strong to the 'finich' 'cause I eats me spinach 274 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,178 "I'm Popeye the sailor man Toot, toot" 275 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,949 "This Bud's for you." 276 00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,959 Baby! 277 00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:03,463 Now will you tell me the composition of your radar beam? 278 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:04,897 Wackygram, right? 279 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,070 RON: Encore! Encore! 280 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,874 This is a nightmare. 281 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,577 Your research was all wrong! The food was all wrong! 282 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,313 This dress is strange and what is this thing? 283 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,650 This hat is too big. And everything I said was crazy. 284 00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:27,119 MAN: Now just a second. Don't blame it all on me. 285 00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:30,423 I never told you they used spinach to keep their hands warm. 286 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,258 Daddy, who was that? 287 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:34,293 I don't know. 288 00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:36,028 But I feel kinda sorry for her. 289 00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:38,365 I don't think anybody liked her. 290 00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:39,799 Did you? 291 00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:44,404 Oh! 292 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:47,974 How are we ever going to get Dr. Steve to transmit his signal now? 293 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,909 He thinks I'm a lunatic. 294 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:53,079 MAN: Now just calm down. 295 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,281 You've got to go back in there. 296 00:21:57,384 --> 00:21:58,451 And you... 297 00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:03,255 -Hi. -Hi. 298 00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:09,028 Tough room. 299 00:22:09,095 --> 00:22:12,098 -I'm really sorry how rude I was in there. -No, no! 300 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,000 You weren't rude. You were very entertaining. 301 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:18,538 In fact, I thought you were a professional of some kind. 302 00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:22,208 Believe me, they'll be telling their grandchildren about it. 303 00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:25,478 Have you done any interesting radar astronomy transmissions... 304 00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:28,247 Which may have penetrated other galaxies in the last few days? 305 00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,785 Yes, I have. 306 00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:35,988 Well, what happened? 307 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,127 -It's pretty complex. -Try me. 308 00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:45,765 That was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 309 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,502 I mean, er, second most beautiful. 310 00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:51,037 Erm, third. 311 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,673 A dog. 312 00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:58,745 The system. I blew out every resistance backup in the place... 313 00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:00,379 Including telemetry trackers. 314 00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:02,649 Those boys from defense were so mad. 315 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:05,217 'Cause that's what they use for tracking missiles... 316 00:23:06,653 --> 00:23:09,155 I must be boring the pants off you. 317 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,895 -No. They're still on. -Good. 318 00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:18,765 Then what happened, Dr. Steve? 319 00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,433 I don't really know what happened. 320 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,602 It must have been something I did in the lab. 321 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:25,404 Maybe I forgot to take a note or dropped a setting. 322 00:23:25,472 --> 00:23:27,306 Show me what you did. 323 00:23:27,373 --> 00:23:29,742 Show me in your mighty lab. 324 00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:31,478 I can't. They fired me. 325 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:37,684 You know I'm a little cold. Would you mind very much if I just... 326 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,219 Stuck my hands right in your pockets? 327 00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,222 Oh, yes, that's better. 328 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:48,495 So, Celeste... 329 00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:52,632 -Where are you from? -Hmmm. 330 00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:55,468 The nether-lands. 331 00:23:55,535 --> 00:23:57,036 Oh, Holland. 332 00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:58,971 No, the Nether-lands. 333 00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:00,607 Hmm. 334 00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:07,179 For an astronomer you have the most wonderful fibers. 335 00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:09,849 And you've got yourself a handful right now. 336 00:24:12,552 --> 00:24:13,953 I can't get back in that lab. 337 00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:16,155 They're gonna kiss! 338 00:24:16,222 --> 00:24:17,790 Does he know how? 339 00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:21,894 Well, of course. I saw him do it once in 1983. 340 00:24:26,699 --> 00:24:28,034 I'm a bad apple. 341 00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:39,278 Excuse me a minute. 342 00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:46,686 I shouldn't be wearing this, should I? 343 00:24:47,554 --> 00:24:50,022 Oh! It's very nice. 344 00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:51,591 Then what should I wear? 345 00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:59,999 Oh, thank you. I won't forget this. 346 00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:23,489 Hold this. 347 00:25:24,657 --> 00:25:26,392 What are you doing now? 348 00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:29,061 I have to change. This is inappropriate. 349 00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:31,731 Might I suggest a more conventional spot? 350 00:25:31,798 --> 00:25:34,033 Like the backseat of my car. 351 00:25:35,134 --> 00:25:36,836 Oh! Okay. 352 00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,782 There. I'm changed. 353 00:25:58,524 --> 00:26:00,126 Is this acceptable? 354 00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:05,965 Is the drool apparent? 355 00:26:24,784 --> 00:26:28,054 I'm sorry, Dr. Mills, we have strict orders from Dr. Budlong... 356 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,056 Not to let you in the building. 357 00:26:30,122 --> 00:26:33,693 I left something in my office. It was a fuzzy Carebear pencil holder. 358 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,594 Excuse me. I'm from DARPA. 359 00:26:35,662 --> 00:26:37,930 The Defense Advance Research Project Agency... 360 00:26:37,997 --> 00:26:39,666 With instructions to tour this facility. 361 00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:41,500 May I see some lD? 362 00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:04,290 Here. 363 00:27:05,825 --> 00:27:07,593 See Department of Defense. 364 00:27:16,535 --> 00:27:18,037 She's with DARPA. 365 00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:20,639 I'm with her. 366 00:27:22,208 --> 00:27:25,077 All settings are the same. They haven't changed a thing. 367 00:27:25,144 --> 00:27:28,681 Dr. Steve, this is only a Jansky-based telescope. 368 00:27:28,748 --> 00:27:31,283 Part of what used to be called a vast array. 369 00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:33,019 Used to? 370 00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:35,788 I see you had to use enormous thrust. 371 00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:37,990 Where's the Klystron? 372 00:27:38,057 --> 00:27:40,526 Hold on, I'll see what they did with it. 373 00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:59,378 -Good evening, Olaf. -Good evening. 374 00:27:59,445 --> 00:28:01,280 It's nice to have Dr. Mills back. 375 00:28:01,347 --> 00:28:03,349 -What do you mean? -He's in his lab now. 376 00:28:03,415 --> 00:28:04,616 In his lab? 377 00:28:09,655 --> 00:28:11,423 There's nothing powerful enough 378 00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:13,325 to have broken through our shields. 379 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:21,200 It's clear how the reflectors work. 380 00:28:22,769 --> 00:28:24,236 They're not equipped to discover 381 00:28:24,303 --> 00:28:26,238 this kind of power for another century. 382 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:30,609 How did they get it so fast? 383 00:28:30,676 --> 00:28:33,245 I mean, they haven't even figured out Stonehenge. 384 00:28:33,312 --> 00:28:36,715 He must be holding something back. 385 00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:39,651 Dr. Steve is lying. 386 00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:43,890 Who are you? 387 00:28:44,757 --> 00:28:46,492 Who? Me? 388 00:28:47,426 --> 00:28:49,061 What are you doing here? 389 00:28:59,305 --> 00:29:00,406 Where's Mills? 390 00:29:01,373 --> 00:29:03,175 Get away from my equipment. 391 00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:33,305 I've got to be on my way home. 392 00:29:34,573 --> 00:29:37,910 I've got to get home to that good pie. 393 00:29:40,446 --> 00:29:42,414 Just grab the handrail there. 394 00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:45,317 Welcome to my office. 395 00:29:45,384 --> 00:29:48,487 Sender number KD113B. 396 00:29:48,554 --> 00:29:52,825 Just like all the rest of them, but it's mine. 397 00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:56,062 Did you ever think what you were doing by invading another galaxy? 398 00:29:57,063 --> 00:29:58,664 It wasn't an invasion. 399 00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:02,869 Here was this galaxy, minding its own business. 400 00:30:02,935 --> 00:30:05,504 Perhaps a galaxy where war no longer exists. 401 00:30:06,605 --> 00:30:09,075 People all live in harmony. 402 00:30:09,141 --> 00:30:11,410 Things don't go around with such whizzings. 403 00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:21,787 You're shaking. Why? 404 00:30:21,854 --> 00:30:23,389 Because I've wanted to kiss you 405 00:30:23,455 --> 00:30:24,991 from the first moment I saw you. 406 00:30:25,057 --> 00:30:26,926 What? 407 00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:29,761 You looked so beautiful and vulnerable, then you started rhyming... 408 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:32,698 And doing all that talking and singing and stuff and... 409 00:30:32,764 --> 00:30:35,201 I just wanted to use everything I know 410 00:30:35,267 --> 00:30:37,970 about radar astronomy to protect you. 411 00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:42,074 Would you mind if I kissed you? 412 00:30:43,042 --> 00:30:44,243 Does it hurt? 413 00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:48,014 Not the way I do it. 414 00:31:59,051 --> 00:32:00,252 Ah! 415 00:32:00,819 --> 00:32:02,621 Mmm. 416 00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:18,604 Ah! 417 00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:26,345 Argh! 418 00:32:32,251 --> 00:32:34,253 Ah! Oh! 419 00:33:16,395 --> 00:33:18,897 Okay. 420 00:33:18,964 --> 00:33:23,001 I have never felt anything like that in my entire life. 421 00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:31,410 Do I now have to eat the chocolate from Pennsylvania? 422 00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:38,550 Listen, I think we'd better get out of here. 423 00:33:38,617 --> 00:33:42,254 Are you sure you've told me everything about the transmission? 424 00:33:42,321 --> 00:33:46,825 I think so. But perhaps we should explore it a little further. 425 00:33:48,260 --> 00:33:49,795 I'd better take you home. 426 00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:52,631 No, that's too far. We must go to your place. 427 00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:56,068 Are you feeling what I'm feeling? 428 00:33:56,135 --> 00:33:57,403 More. 429 00:33:59,905 --> 00:34:01,107 I'm dreaming. 430 00:34:04,210 --> 00:34:05,811 "Life could be a dream 431 00:34:06,512 --> 00:34:08,214 "Sha-boom." 432 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,948 As your great poet says. 433 00:34:11,650 --> 00:34:12,951 Yeah. 434 00:34:17,656 --> 00:34:19,591 Welcome to the Mills residence. 435 00:34:22,694 --> 00:34:24,396 What is this? 436 00:34:25,097 --> 00:34:26,298 Hats. 437 00:34:26,365 --> 00:34:28,234 This one is a collector's item. 438 00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:29,901 Actually belonged to Jimmy Durante. 439 00:34:30,302 --> 00:34:31,637 Who? 440 00:34:33,539 --> 00:34:36,408 "Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are." 441 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:40,479 He was a song and dance man in the movies. 442 00:34:40,546 --> 00:34:42,381 Come on in, this is the palace. 443 00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,283 Help yourself. Sit down. Steal an ashtray. 444 00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:47,419 I have to go check on Jessie. Please don't leave... 445 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:48,720 Or otherwise I'll be forced to crawl up 446 00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:51,457 under my bed and suck dust forever. 447 00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:54,993 So what's going on here? 448 00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:57,363 Could it be that he really doesn't know how he made the transmission? 449 00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:58,964 -Ah! 450 00:34:59,030 --> 00:35:00,766 -What's that? -ALIEN: Canine. 451 00:35:00,832 --> 00:35:02,634 Highly revered on this planet. 452 00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:04,936 Usually found in the company of fire hydrants. 453 00:35:05,003 --> 00:35:07,439 Now look, Dr. Steve's lying. 454 00:35:07,506 --> 00:35:08,774 Don't leave him alone. 455 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,942 But he doesn't even care about that anymore. 456 00:35:11,009 --> 00:35:13,245 Didn't you see during that kissing thing? 457 00:35:13,312 --> 00:35:15,981 His skin got hot and his heartbeat went up. 458 00:35:16,047 --> 00:35:19,451 And suddenly there was a lot more of him down there. 459 00:35:19,518 --> 00:35:21,187 ALIEN: It's an act. 460 00:35:21,253 --> 00:35:23,822 Government types on this planet are trained to lie. 461 00:35:23,889 --> 00:35:27,025 Go find him. He may be burning papers right this minute! 462 00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:29,395 Oh, God! 463 00:35:36,835 --> 00:35:38,504 She's beautiful, isn't she? 464 00:35:38,570 --> 00:35:40,206 Yes. Who is she? 465 00:35:41,006 --> 00:35:42,541 My daughter, Jessie. 466 00:35:43,342 --> 00:35:44,576 Short. 467 00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:47,246 Short? She's only 13. 468 00:35:47,313 --> 00:35:48,514 Thirteen? 469 00:35:49,581 --> 00:35:51,350 How old does she look? 470 00:35:51,417 --> 00:35:54,453 Six, seven hundred, just short. 471 00:36:04,596 --> 00:36:06,298 Why don't we go in here? 472 00:36:07,299 --> 00:36:09,134 My bedroom? 473 00:36:09,201 --> 00:36:12,271 Well, you said you wanted to talk. Why go all the way downstairs? 474 00:36:12,338 --> 00:36:14,373 Say, do you think I'm a billionaire? 475 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,475 Or somebody on television or somebody 476 00:36:16,542 --> 00:36:18,444 -who's really important or something? -No. 477 00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:20,546 You're Steven Mills, Ph.D. 478 00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:24,450 A very obscure physicist who makes $25,000 a year. 479 00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:26,685 And you still want to go in here? 480 00:36:26,752 --> 00:36:28,086 Yowza. 481 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:30,389 Yowza? 482 00:36:32,924 --> 00:36:34,626 You make me laugh. 483 00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:37,763 I mean, you're the first person that has really made me laugh since... 484 00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:43,602 Look, if we do go in there, you know, 485 00:36:43,669 --> 00:36:46,772 I might probably want to do more kissing. 486 00:36:46,838 --> 00:36:50,909 Surely. It was very pleasant. But I hope that's not all you want to do. 487 00:37:08,327 --> 00:37:09,595 Remember me? 488 00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:45,631 You're so wonderful. 489 00:37:45,697 --> 00:37:49,468 You're funny, you're intelligent and you understand my work... 490 00:37:49,535 --> 00:37:51,337 And now you want to have sex. 491 00:37:51,403 --> 00:37:53,472 I wanna have sex? 492 00:37:53,539 --> 00:37:55,474 -Don't you? -Do you? 493 00:37:55,974 --> 00:37:57,509 Yes! 494 00:37:57,576 --> 00:38:01,313 Well, I do, too. As soon as I find out what it is. 495 00:38:05,884 --> 00:38:07,118 I have to go to the bathroom. 496 00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:08,354 Of course. 497 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,469 What is sex? 498 00:38:23,535 --> 00:38:25,537 Uh, what? 499 00:38:25,604 --> 00:38:28,106 "What?" You heard what I said. 500 00:38:28,173 --> 00:38:30,342 What is sex? 501 00:38:30,409 --> 00:38:35,013 Give me a second. One second. Take a look at this. 502 00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:48,460 Deleted. 503 00:38:48,527 --> 00:38:50,195 What good is deleted? 504 00:38:50,261 --> 00:38:55,033 Now, don't get excited. Just a second. One little second. Here it is. 505 00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:57,436 Your penis is a weapon. 506 00:38:57,503 --> 00:38:59,137 Just like your rifle. 507 00:38:59,204 --> 00:39:03,409 The military expects you to protect it and keep it dry. 508 00:39:03,475 --> 00:39:06,144 All right, men, if you'll open your manuals. 509 00:39:06,211 --> 00:39:07,546 What? Is that it? 510 00:39:07,613 --> 00:39:08,714 Take it easy. 511 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:11,383 Oh. Here's something else. 512 00:39:15,487 --> 00:39:18,289 What does this mean, Debbie Does Dallas? 513 00:39:20,626 --> 00:39:22,293 Debbie Does Des Moines. 514 00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:26,598 Debbie Does Dusseldorf. 515 00:39:26,665 --> 00:39:28,099 Busy girl, that Debbie. 516 00:39:29,267 --> 00:39:30,602 What's this? 517 00:39:33,839 --> 00:39:35,073 Woah! 518 00:39:39,978 --> 00:39:41,413 ALIEN: Look behind you. 519 00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,149 Woo! 520 00:39:49,154 --> 00:39:51,222 I can do that. I guess. 521 00:39:52,458 --> 00:39:54,860 CELESTE: I don't believe it. 522 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:56,595 Woo! 523 00:39:59,798 --> 00:40:01,533 Why, that's disgusting. 524 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,802 Oh! I can't, that right there. 525 00:40:04,636 --> 00:40:06,137 Woah! 526 00:40:06,204 --> 00:40:09,140 Look, that's the most weirdest thing I've ever seen. 527 00:40:09,207 --> 00:40:11,677 That's why we gave it up 3,000 years ago. 528 00:40:22,721 --> 00:40:23,955 You think I could do that? 529 00:40:24,022 --> 00:40:27,826 Sure. Except for fuel you're human inside and out. 530 00:40:27,893 --> 00:40:29,094 But do you want to? 531 00:40:30,496 --> 00:40:32,097 The kissing wasn't so bad. 532 00:40:36,401 --> 00:40:38,203 You're not leaving me here! 533 00:40:38,704 --> 00:40:39,905 Oh. Yes, I am. 534 00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:41,940 I have been ordered to stay with you at all times, 535 00:40:42,007 --> 00:40:44,042 to observe everything you do! 536 00:40:44,643 --> 00:40:46,277 Forget it. 537 00:40:48,013 --> 00:40:49,214 Bitch! 538 00:41:23,549 --> 00:41:26,351 My God, you're beautiful. 539 00:42:57,242 --> 00:42:58,810 Ah! 540 00:42:58,877 --> 00:43:00,511 -Are you all right? 541 00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:03,148 Oh, yes, don't stop. 542 00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:08,019 Woah! 543 00:43:19,064 --> 00:43:20,966 Do you see... 544 00:43:30,275 --> 00:43:35,513 Oh! Dr. Steve, that was so wonderful. 545 00:43:35,580 --> 00:43:41,419 I feel like I've been hit by a train. 546 00:43:41,486 --> 00:43:44,890 And I don't think you need to call me Dr. Steve anymore. 547 00:43:46,224 --> 00:43:48,093 Steve, you're so stupid. 548 00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:50,628 We could have been doing this the whole time. 549 00:43:50,696 --> 00:43:52,931 We only met three hours ago. 550 00:43:52,998 --> 00:43:55,100 I know. What took you so long? 551 00:43:55,166 --> 00:43:56,802 Do others know about this? 552 00:43:56,868 --> 00:43:59,470 About us? I don't see how they could. 553 00:44:00,538 --> 00:44:03,041 No, about making love. 554 00:44:03,108 --> 00:44:05,143 You could become very famous if 555 00:44:05,210 --> 00:44:07,679 others in the world knew you could do this. 556 00:44:07,746 --> 00:44:10,148 -Really? -Oh. Yes. 557 00:44:10,215 --> 00:44:12,918 Didn't think I did it any differently than anybody else. 558 00:44:13,819 --> 00:44:15,787 You mean everybody does this? 559 00:44:17,522 --> 00:44:19,457 Think of all the energy produced. 560 00:44:19,524 --> 00:44:21,827 Properly channeled that energy could 561 00:44:21,893 --> 00:44:24,329 propel half your people out of the galaxy. 562 00:44:24,395 --> 00:44:26,631 Oh, wow! 563 00:44:26,698 --> 00:44:29,434 We did some computer runs in the lab 564 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:32,303 and figured if we could harness the energy output from 565 00:44:32,370 --> 00:44:34,072 the male members of the Sheen family 566 00:44:34,139 --> 00:44:36,274 we could put the state of lllinois on Pluto. 567 00:44:40,011 --> 00:44:42,748 I really don't think I can do this again so soon. 568 00:44:42,814 --> 00:44:44,382 Yes, you can. 569 00:44:46,251 --> 00:44:48,286 -Celeste? -What? 570 00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:49,721 Celeste, why me? 571 00:44:52,924 --> 00:44:55,260 Because you're sensitive 572 00:44:55,326 --> 00:44:57,528 and you're an outsider 573 00:44:57,595 --> 00:45:01,032 and you worked so hard to get through M.l.T 574 00:45:01,099 --> 00:45:04,469 and you have two Ph.D.'s and a delightful innocence. 575 00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:06,404 Just all the qualities of a dreamer. 576 00:45:09,340 --> 00:45:12,210 I know you had some really bad luck five years ago when... 577 00:45:12,277 --> 00:45:15,413 Your wife died and left you with a daughter, Jessie, 13. 578 00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:18,083 That's who the short person was. 579 00:45:18,149 --> 00:45:20,651 Wait a minute. Where'd you get all those details? 580 00:45:22,754 --> 00:45:25,056 I can read it. In your eyes. 581 00:46:05,530 --> 00:46:07,232 That's kid's stuff. 582 00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:11,036 This is no help. 583 00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:35,660 Oh! 584 00:46:58,683 --> 00:47:00,518 Ahh! Ugh! 585 00:47:30,815 --> 00:47:33,952 Whiteside, I'm here to spend Christmas with you. 586 00:47:34,752 --> 00:47:36,021 I think. 587 00:47:36,087 --> 00:47:38,189 I may stay a month 588 00:47:38,256 --> 00:47:40,025 or I may leave immediately. 589 00:47:40,091 --> 00:47:43,962 I don't know. Things are so uncertain. 590 00:47:44,029 --> 00:47:46,197 * Did you ever have the feeling you wanted to go 591 00:47:46,264 --> 00:47:48,633 * And still had the feeling that you wanted to stay 592 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:50,735 * You knew it was right, Wasn't wrong 593 00:47:50,801 --> 00:47:52,837 * Still you knew you Wouldn't be very long 594 00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:55,240 * It's tough to have the feeling you wanted to go 595 00:47:55,306 --> 00:47:58,343 * Still have the feeling that you wanted to stay, start to go 596 00:47:58,409 --> 00:48:01,779 * Change your mind start and go again But changed your mind again 597 00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:03,814 * Did you ever have the feeling you wanted to go 598 00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:05,850 * Still have the feeling you wanted to stay 599 00:48:05,917 --> 00:48:08,286 * Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Si-Do 600 00:48:08,353 --> 00:48:09,654 * I go 601 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,889 * I'll stay 602 00:48:11,957 --> 00:48:14,325 Shut up you reform school fugitive. 603 00:48:16,261 --> 00:48:19,230 Whiteside, I love ya. I love ya. 604 00:48:43,688 --> 00:48:45,991 Dave, bon appetit. 605 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,374 Dave, how are you and your 1,000 fleas this morning? 606 00:49:11,416 --> 00:49:12,650 Are you okay? 607 00:49:13,184 --> 00:49:14,419 Yes, I'm okay. 608 00:49:16,887 --> 00:49:21,026 Jessie, Celeste. Celeste, my daughter, Jessie. 609 00:49:21,959 --> 00:49:23,761 I know. 610 00:49:23,828 --> 00:49:25,163 You stayed here? 611 00:49:25,896 --> 00:49:27,632 Just overnight. 612 00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:29,867 But dad 613 00:49:30,835 --> 00:49:32,770 that's fabulous. 614 00:49:32,837 --> 00:49:34,139 I gotta go. 615 00:49:34,205 --> 00:49:35,606 Be true to your school. 616 00:49:39,444 --> 00:49:41,412 Happy short person. Daughter. 617 00:49:43,248 --> 00:49:45,383 Almost as happy as her old man. 618 00:49:45,450 --> 00:49:46,617 Who is that? 619 00:49:47,418 --> 00:49:49,587 Me. 620 00:49:49,654 --> 00:49:51,389 Yes, I am happy, too. 621 00:49:52,023 --> 00:49:53,124 I think... 622 00:49:54,192 --> 00:49:55,993 Yes? 623 00:49:56,061 --> 00:49:58,929 Will I scare you if I tell you I love you? 624 00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:00,898 Not unless you hit me at the same time. 625 00:50:00,965 --> 00:50:02,067 I'm serious. 626 00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:03,434 So am l. 627 00:50:03,501 --> 00:50:05,670 Then let's go away. Let's go to San Francisco. 628 00:50:05,736 --> 00:50:07,105 Or Vancouver? Or Anchorage? 629 00:50:07,172 --> 00:50:08,939 No, I have to leave tonight. 630 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:11,209 Leave? Where you going? 631 00:50:11,942 --> 00:50:13,378 Home. 632 00:50:13,444 --> 00:50:14,879 To the Netherlands? 633 00:50:14,945 --> 00:50:17,715 You can call it Holland now. I know what you mean. Yes. 634 00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,020 When are you going to be back? 635 00:50:23,088 --> 00:50:24,689 No, I'm never coming back. 636 00:50:29,294 --> 00:50:34,632 Never coming back? Why? Why can't you ever come back? 637 00:50:34,699 --> 00:50:36,467 -Well l... -Celeste. 638 00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:39,570 I hate to sound desperate, but this news makes me sound desperate. 639 00:50:39,637 --> 00:50:42,640 I'm desperate. Celeste, I know this is sudden 640 00:50:42,707 --> 00:50:45,510 but you're the most incredible thing that's ever happened to me. 641 00:50:45,576 --> 00:50:49,814 I look in your face and I can't believe what I feel for you. 642 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,983 I'm hopelessly, insanely, out of my mind in love with you. 643 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:54,952 I can't let you go. 644 00:50:55,019 --> 00:50:57,021 Walk out of my life. I mean, I can't. 645 00:50:57,088 --> 00:50:59,690 Not now, not ever. Without you there is no life. 646 00:51:00,425 --> 00:51:01,859 And? 647 00:51:01,926 --> 00:51:03,328 Will you marry me? 648 00:51:04,195 --> 00:51:05,430 Marry you? 649 00:51:05,496 --> 00:51:06,931 Yes. Please. 650 00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:10,968 This is a strange development. 651 00:51:11,035 --> 00:51:12,737 I know it's sudden and quick and all. 652 00:51:12,803 --> 00:51:15,173 Not if you consider I've been waiting five years for you. 653 00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:18,809 You see, before I met you all I could think about was science. 654 00:51:18,876 --> 00:51:22,647 Now I can't even think about that anymore. All I care about is you. 655 00:51:22,713 --> 00:51:25,150 Your eyes, your skin, your hair, your face. 656 00:51:25,216 --> 00:51:27,718 Do you think you could think about science if we got married? 657 00:51:27,785 --> 00:51:29,787 Well, yes, sure. 658 00:51:29,854 --> 00:51:31,622 If only I knew you were going to be with me 659 00:51:31,689 --> 00:51:33,724 and you weren't going anywhere. 660 00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:39,630 I know it's kinda sudden and everything, so I'll tell you what. 661 00:51:39,697 --> 00:51:41,999 Why don't you take a short walk and think about it? 662 00:51:43,434 --> 00:51:45,336 Okay, I'll think it over. 663 00:51:49,674 --> 00:51:52,510 You're not going out like that, are you? 664 00:51:52,577 --> 00:51:54,445 No. Of course not. 665 00:52:03,454 --> 00:52:05,823 She's an original. She's gotta say yes. 666 00:52:12,830 --> 00:52:14,999 You said you'd prepare me for 24 hours, 667 00:52:15,065 --> 00:52:17,202 and here it's only been 12 hours. 668 00:52:17,268 --> 00:52:20,104 You didn't tell me "spinach," you didn't tell me "kiss", 669 00:52:20,171 --> 00:52:23,174 you didn't tell me "have sex," and what about "marry"? 670 00:52:23,241 --> 00:52:25,343 Do things always happen so fast on this planet? 671 00:52:25,410 --> 00:52:27,245 ALIEN: I don't think so. You can't walk 672 00:52:27,312 --> 00:52:28,813 down the street looking like this. 673 00:52:28,879 --> 00:52:32,116 Oh! Yes, I can. I know how this planet works. 674 00:52:32,183 --> 00:52:34,719 They'll think I'm starting some kind of trend or something. 675 00:52:34,785 --> 00:52:36,554 I want you to contact the Council and 676 00:52:36,621 --> 00:52:38,523 I want them here, I want them here now! 677 00:52:53,904 --> 00:52:55,673 Why here? 678 00:52:55,740 --> 00:52:58,809 ALIEN: They said they needed an open field. I found it in the phone book. 679 00:52:58,876 --> 00:53:01,279 What goes on here? Is it Christians and lions? 680 00:53:01,346 --> 00:53:04,181 ALIEN: No, wrong time frame. 681 00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:10,988 Where is the transmission? 682 00:53:11,055 --> 00:53:12,590 We're making progress, sir. 683 00:53:12,657 --> 00:53:16,561 Our gravity has increased threefold! 684 00:53:16,627 --> 00:53:18,596 Does the subject suspect who you are? 685 00:53:19,597 --> 00:53:21,299 -No. -Does the girl? 686 00:53:24,168 --> 00:53:27,905 ALIEN: She saw Celeste put magazines into me and a dress come out. 687 00:53:27,972 --> 00:53:30,007 Kill her! 688 00:53:30,074 --> 00:53:35,846 Don't worry. She's nothing. Short, inexperienced, just a daughter. 689 00:53:35,913 --> 00:53:37,448 But we do have one problem. 690 00:53:37,515 --> 00:53:39,350 Yes? 691 00:53:39,417 --> 00:53:43,421 The subject says he will be unable to think about science 692 00:53:43,488 --> 00:53:45,189 unless he marries me! 693 00:53:46,123 --> 00:53:47,492 Well, marry him! 694 00:53:49,026 --> 00:53:51,228 But we don't know what "marry" is. 695 00:53:53,298 --> 00:53:54,799 One moment. 696 00:54:03,140 --> 00:54:06,043 Yes, the Mondschein 40 says marriage is this, 697 00:54:06,110 --> 00:54:08,679 "He goes off to fight the Turks, and you put on a lock. " 698 00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:10,515 No, no. 699 00:54:14,018 --> 00:54:18,356 Yes. Wrong century. Marriage is this, 700 00:54:18,423 --> 00:54:20,758 "You cook and clean and bring him martinis. " 701 00:54:22,460 --> 00:54:25,129 Wrong again? This is ridiculous. 702 00:54:28,032 --> 00:54:30,835 Yes, wrong decade. Too old fashioned. 703 00:54:30,901 --> 00:54:35,440 "The modern marriage: There are no rules or responsibilities. 704 00:54:35,506 --> 00:54:36,907 "But if he does something wrong, 705 00:54:36,974 --> 00:54:38,976 "you can set him on fire while he sleeps. 706 00:54:39,043 --> 00:54:42,647 "And go on a talk show where everyone will forgive you and love you. " 707 00:54:42,713 --> 00:54:45,950 There's only one drawback, you'll have to have more sex. 708 00:54:46,016 --> 00:54:47,352 I'll do it. 709 00:54:47,418 --> 00:54:49,687 Immediately. 710 00:54:49,754 --> 00:54:52,457 Yes, sir. I know tomorrow's the last day 711 00:54:52,523 --> 00:54:54,759 the reflectors are in line for 19 months. 712 00:54:55,793 --> 00:54:57,462 What if there is no lightning? 713 00:54:57,528 --> 00:54:59,196 We will provide the lightning. 714 00:54:59,263 --> 00:55:03,634 Just keep that man fed and keep his feet clean. 715 00:55:04,402 --> 00:55:06,036 You're fading. 716 00:55:06,103 --> 00:55:09,507 Yes, I know, it's our gravity. Now remember, you are our last hope. 717 00:55:09,574 --> 00:55:13,511 If we don't get that transmission from him, our planet is doomed. 718 00:55:16,914 --> 00:55:18,583 Yes, sir. 719 00:55:23,020 --> 00:55:27,057 But daddy, this is so quick. I mean, you only met her last night. 720 00:55:27,124 --> 00:55:29,159 It was the same with your mother. 721 00:55:29,226 --> 00:55:31,161 At least with mom you waited a week. 722 00:55:31,228 --> 00:55:33,163 Your mother and I knew on the first night. 723 00:55:33,230 --> 00:55:35,500 Are you crazy? You don't know a thing about her. 724 00:55:35,566 --> 00:55:37,368 I know all I need to know. 725 00:55:37,435 --> 00:55:39,670 I've already gone through this, Uncle Ron. 726 00:55:39,737 --> 00:55:41,506 She's after your money! 727 00:55:41,572 --> 00:55:43,374 Ron, I don't even have a ball of lint 728 00:55:43,441 --> 00:55:45,309 and a lead slug to rub together. 729 00:55:45,376 --> 00:55:47,077 She's got a trust fund. 730 00:55:47,144 --> 00:55:48,713 She has a trust fund? 731 00:55:50,147 --> 00:55:51,449 Oh! 732 00:55:51,516 --> 00:55:55,853 You know, I don't get it. Why does this happen to you? 733 00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,656 I know! Citizenship! She wants citizenship. 734 00:55:58,723 --> 00:56:00,124 She wants to take jobs away from 735 00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:02,092 Americans and give 'em to Dutch people! 736 00:56:02,159 --> 00:56:04,361 Yeah, that's why she's here. 737 00:56:04,429 --> 00:56:06,330 But it's so unfair. 738 00:56:06,397 --> 00:56:08,899 I mean, you know... 739 00:56:08,966 --> 00:56:12,269 It's my own brother marrying the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 740 00:56:12,336 --> 00:56:15,372 And he met her at my apartment. 741 00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:17,808 Ron, I appreciate your concern. 742 00:56:17,875 --> 00:56:19,810 This is something I really want. 743 00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:23,280 Haven't you wanted something so much that nothing else mattered? 744 00:56:23,347 --> 00:56:25,516 It's your wedding, I'm gonna tell you. 745 00:56:25,583 --> 00:56:29,119 There's only one woman in the world that I will ever marry. 746 00:56:31,155 --> 00:56:33,123 Princess Stephanie of Monaco. 747 00:56:33,858 --> 00:56:35,660 Really? 748 00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:39,897 I never knew you had a thing for her. What makes her the lucky lady? 749 00:56:39,964 --> 00:56:42,867 Because she's the most perfect woman in the world. 750 00:56:42,933 --> 00:56:44,669 She'd have nothing to do with me. 751 00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:46,504 Ron, brush up on your French lessons 752 00:56:46,571 --> 00:56:48,238 and your tennis, maybe it'll happen. 753 00:56:48,305 --> 00:56:51,141 But right now I'm going to marry my Princess Stephanie. 754 00:56:51,208 --> 00:56:53,043 So wish me luck. 755 00:56:53,110 --> 00:56:54,845 You've had too much luck already. 756 00:56:57,848 --> 00:57:00,985 Ah! Where did she get a wedding dress on two hours notice? 757 00:57:01,051 --> 00:57:04,655 Does she just carry one around with her, in case of emergencies? 758 00:57:04,722 --> 00:57:08,025 I hope so. Now would you go downstairs and please be best man? 759 00:57:09,193 --> 00:57:10,795 Uncle Ron, go! 760 00:57:10,861 --> 00:57:12,329 You wanna see my date? She's 6 foot 2. 761 00:57:15,866 --> 00:57:17,134 Okay. 762 00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:19,870 Go and tell Celeste it's time. 763 00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:30,915 CELESTE: I'll have to leave you on the chair. 764 00:57:30,981 --> 00:57:32,883 ALIEN: Can't you wear me? 765 00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:34,852 No, I'd look too strange. 766 00:57:34,919 --> 00:57:36,153 I'm so hungry. 767 00:57:36,220 --> 00:57:38,355 Good thing we stopped at the hardware store. 768 00:57:38,422 --> 00:57:39,624 ALIEN: Ah! 769 00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:43,227 D-cells. Primitive, but nutritious. 770 00:57:59,777 --> 00:58:00,845 Oh! 771 00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,215 -Dad, she ate batteries! -What? 772 00:58:05,282 --> 00:58:08,553 She took three "D" batteries out of a paper bag and ate them. 773 00:58:08,619 --> 00:58:10,988 She flattened them like a Tootsie Roll wrapper. 774 00:58:11,055 --> 00:58:13,691 And she was talking to someone who wasn't even in the room. 775 00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:19,329 I love you more than anyone else in the world. 776 00:58:19,396 --> 00:58:20,898 Nothing's going to come between us. 777 00:58:20,965 --> 00:58:23,901 Daddy, she ate batteries. 778 00:58:23,968 --> 00:58:26,537 Jessie, I want you to stop this right now. 779 00:59:46,150 --> 00:59:47,952 ALIEN: Back off, Alpo breath. 780 01:00:17,381 --> 01:00:19,750 Dearly beloved... 781 01:00:19,817 --> 01:00:23,788 ALIEN: Sit! Roll over! Play dead! 782 01:00:23,854 --> 01:00:26,290 I've only known Celeste for eight minutes, 783 01:00:26,356 --> 01:00:29,559 but I can tell she has love for Steve 784 01:00:29,626 --> 01:00:32,129 who I've also known for eight minutes. 785 01:00:32,196 --> 01:00:34,765 ALIEN: You're digging your own grave, Fido. 786 01:00:34,832 --> 01:00:37,234 And do you Celeste van Martin 787 01:00:37,301 --> 01:00:39,103 take Steven Mills 788 01:00:39,169 --> 01:00:42,539 to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness 789 01:00:47,745 --> 01:00:51,716 For richer and or poorer, till death do you part? 790 01:00:51,782 --> 01:00:54,151 -I do. -I now pronounce you man and wife. 791 01:01:07,698 --> 01:01:10,868 ALIEN: I'm looking over my dead dog Rover" 792 01:01:10,935 --> 01:01:13,804 -Get that dog down! -You left me alone again! 793 01:01:13,871 --> 01:01:15,572 I was getting married! 794 01:01:16,173 --> 01:01:17,174 STEVE: Honey! 795 01:01:17,908 --> 01:01:19,710 What happened? 796 01:01:19,777 --> 01:01:21,645 Maybe it's a Dutch custom. They say 797 01:01:21,712 --> 01:01:23,647 "I do," bolt for the lawn and start digging. 798 01:01:23,714 --> 01:01:25,716 Maybe she's planting tulip bulbs. 799 01:01:25,783 --> 01:01:29,353 Honey, how on earth did Dave get up there! Look! 800 01:01:29,419 --> 01:01:31,021 Dave! Don't move! 801 01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,892 Volunteers! Jeff, Woody! 802 01:01:42,199 --> 01:01:44,401 May I be the first to kiss the bride? 803 01:01:44,468 --> 01:01:45,469 Sure. 804 01:01:54,879 --> 01:01:56,146 I got him! 805 01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:57,547 Oh. Wow! 806 01:02:41,826 --> 01:02:43,928 Where'd you get this dress? 807 01:02:45,495 --> 01:02:48,398 It's him! Quick, dad, the brush! 808 01:02:48,465 --> 01:02:51,301 I'm coming. Here it is. I've got it here. 809 01:02:51,368 --> 01:02:53,137 The brush. 810 01:02:53,203 --> 01:02:54,972 Okay. Easy. 811 01:03:01,979 --> 01:03:03,380 My God, you look beautiful. 812 01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:06,150 Thanks, dad. I hope he likes me. 813 01:03:06,216 --> 01:03:08,052 I hope you like him. 814 01:03:13,824 --> 01:03:16,160 Hi. I'm Fred. The date. 815 01:03:16,226 --> 01:03:17,995 These are for you, doll. 816 01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:21,131 Thank you. 817 01:03:21,198 --> 01:03:23,367 I'm Steve, Jessie's dad. 818 01:03:23,433 --> 01:03:25,502 -This is Mrs. Mills. -Nice to meet you. 819 01:03:25,569 --> 01:03:27,071 Mouth jewelry. 820 01:03:28,538 --> 01:03:29,539 Uh! 821 01:03:30,740 --> 01:03:32,910 Oh, right, my braces. 822 01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:34,945 My wife's from Holland, so... 823 01:03:35,379 --> 01:03:36,380 Sure. 824 01:03:37,281 --> 01:03:38,983 You wore flats. Great. 825 01:03:41,285 --> 01:03:42,286 So. 826 01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:44,521 Have a great time. 827 01:03:44,588 --> 01:03:46,190 She'll be safe with me, sir. 828 01:03:49,159 --> 01:03:50,294 Bye. 829 01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,897 Did that kid look shifty to you? 830 01:03:52,963 --> 01:03:54,865 Hadn't you better get back to work now? 831 01:03:54,932 --> 01:03:58,168 What? You gotta be kidding, on our wedding night? 832 01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:02,406 I don't think so. 833 01:04:07,477 --> 01:04:08,812 God, I love you! 834 01:04:24,094 --> 01:04:25,295 Hello. 835 01:04:25,362 --> 01:04:26,596 MAN: Lucas Budlong, please. 836 01:04:27,364 --> 01:04:28,765 It's for you. 837 01:04:33,270 --> 01:04:34,438 Hello. 838 01:04:34,504 --> 01:04:36,840 -Budlong, is that you? -Yes. 839 01:04:36,907 --> 01:04:38,242 This is Carl Sagan. 840 01:04:38,308 --> 01:04:39,809 Carl Sagan? 841 01:04:42,646 --> 01:04:44,314 It's Carl Sagan. 842 01:04:44,381 --> 01:04:47,851 I'm assigned to the President's Committee on Extraterrestrials 843 01:04:47,918 --> 01:04:51,155 the Most Important None More Secret Committee. 844 01:04:51,221 --> 01:04:53,157 No, I didn't know that. 845 01:04:53,223 --> 01:04:55,159 Of course. And he has personally 846 01:04:55,225 --> 01:04:57,027 authorized me to instruct you 847 01:04:57,094 --> 01:04:58,895 to put Dr. Steve Mills back to work at 848 01:04:58,963 --> 01:05:00,697 Haddonkirk Laboratories tomorrow. 849 01:05:00,764 --> 01:05:02,366 Mills? But he almost blew the place... 850 01:05:02,432 --> 01:05:03,867 Shut up, Budlong. 851 01:05:03,934 --> 01:05:05,402 No arguments. 852 01:05:05,469 --> 01:05:09,373 We can't afford to waste billions and billions of dollars. 853 01:05:09,439 --> 01:05:11,075 Have I made myself clear, Meathead? 854 01:05:11,141 --> 01:05:13,210 Yes. I... 855 01:05:13,277 --> 01:05:14,811 And how's Skippy? 856 01:05:14,878 --> 01:05:16,080 She's fine. 857 01:05:16,146 --> 01:05:18,615 Tell her I asked after her. 858 01:05:18,682 --> 01:05:20,784 A beautiful, desirable woman. 859 01:05:20,850 --> 01:05:22,086 Yes, sir. 860 01:05:24,488 --> 01:05:25,956 Who is Carl Sagan? 861 01:05:29,659 --> 01:05:30,860 Bravo, Bag. 862 01:05:30,927 --> 01:05:33,597 Now we've got to get Dr. Steve something to eat. 863 01:05:33,663 --> 01:05:36,733 You're right. He should have no excuses not to work. 864 01:05:47,944 --> 01:05:49,179 Ah! 865 01:05:57,921 --> 01:05:59,789 Hands on the wheel! 866 01:06:33,157 --> 01:06:34,724 That's what we need. 867 01:07:17,534 --> 01:07:19,669 $416.80. 868 01:07:27,277 --> 01:07:28,478 What's this? 869 01:07:29,113 --> 01:07:30,847 It's a diamond. 870 01:07:30,914 --> 01:07:34,084 I'm sorry, we don't take diamonds at this branch. Money only. 871 01:07:44,328 --> 01:07:46,496 Haven't you got anything smaller? 872 01:08:03,947 --> 01:08:05,115 What did I just do? 873 01:08:05,182 --> 01:08:07,317 It's called a sneeze. From the flour. 874 01:08:07,384 --> 01:08:09,453 But only humans are supposed to do it. 875 01:08:09,519 --> 01:08:10,720 What did it feel like? 876 01:08:13,757 --> 01:08:15,359 Very funny. 877 01:08:15,425 --> 01:08:18,695 Very good. Very liberating. 878 01:08:21,565 --> 01:08:24,434 This is my house. 879 01:08:24,501 --> 01:08:27,837 I actually had a good time. Maybe we can do it again sometime. 880 01:08:27,904 --> 01:08:30,707 Maybe next time we can even dance. 881 01:08:30,774 --> 01:08:32,742 -I am starving. -Okay. 882 01:08:53,897 --> 01:08:55,599 Just what I needed. 883 01:09:01,538 --> 01:09:03,573 I could have a banquet down this block. 884 01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:05,209 ALIEN: We've got work to do. 885 01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:07,811 All right. 886 01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:38,542 Did you see Uncle Ron's new invention? 887 01:09:38,608 --> 01:09:42,979 It's an all-snap shirt where the snaps look like buttons. Great? 888 01:09:43,046 --> 01:09:44,714 Except they rust in the wash. 889 01:09:46,550 --> 01:09:48,552 -Good morning, dear. -Good morning. 890 01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:50,654 I made you breakfast, my family. 891 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,456 So that's what you've been up to? 892 01:09:52,522 --> 01:09:54,558 Did you sleep well? 893 01:09:54,624 --> 01:09:57,126 -Yes. -Did you? 894 01:10:02,266 --> 01:10:03,833 Hello. 895 01:10:03,900 --> 01:10:05,502 Oh. Dr. Budlong. 896 01:10:06,102 --> 01:10:08,104 How are you? 897 01:10:08,171 --> 01:10:09,606 Fine. Thank you. 898 01:10:11,541 --> 01:10:14,010 No, I don't know Dr. Sagan personally. 899 01:10:15,612 --> 01:10:17,881 The President's Most Secret None More Secret? 900 01:10:19,549 --> 01:10:21,017 Oh! 901 01:10:26,856 --> 01:10:28,792 I've been thinking, too. 902 01:10:28,858 --> 01:10:31,795 About the explosion and the damage and everything. 903 01:10:31,861 --> 01:10:37,301 Really? You mean it? 904 01:10:37,367 --> 01:10:39,603 When can I start back? 905 01:10:39,669 --> 01:10:43,172 No, not today. Today's my honeymoon. 906 01:10:44,173 --> 01:10:46,776 Yeah. A foreign gal. 907 01:10:46,843 --> 01:10:48,412 She's a head-spinner. 908 01:10:50,714 --> 01:10:52,382 Fine. 909 01:10:52,449 --> 01:10:53,450 Yeah. 910 01:10:55,051 --> 01:10:57,487 Thank you. Surely you and Skippy 911 01:10:57,554 --> 01:11:00,290 must remember from your own experience. 912 01:11:00,357 --> 01:11:03,460 This is Mrs. Mills. lgnore my husband on anything but science. 913 01:11:03,527 --> 01:11:06,330 He'll be there in 15 minutes. Maybe less. Yes, bye. 914 01:11:06,396 --> 01:11:09,165 Sweetie, wait a minute. I don't wanna go to work today. 915 01:11:09,232 --> 01:11:10,400 It's our honeymoon. 916 01:11:10,467 --> 01:11:12,268 I wanna clean the place up for you. 917 01:11:12,336 --> 01:11:14,037 I'll clean the house so you don't see a dust. 918 01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:16,740 I'm Dutch. Did you ever see a dirty street in Hague? 919 01:11:16,806 --> 01:11:19,108 We are ready to clean. 920 01:11:19,175 --> 01:11:22,679 Great, let's do it together. And we can watch my Durante tapes. 921 01:11:22,746 --> 01:11:25,382 Let's put an end to this silly argument right now. 922 01:11:25,449 --> 01:11:28,217 I'll arm-wrestle you for it. Winner cleans. 923 01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:30,253 You sure you really want to do this? 924 01:11:30,320 --> 01:11:31,588 Come on. 925 01:11:33,022 --> 01:11:36,159 One, two, three. Okay, lady wins. 926 01:11:36,225 --> 01:11:37,961 Now let's eat right up and get to work. 927 01:11:39,496 --> 01:11:41,365 That's quite a forearm you've got there. 928 01:11:41,431 --> 01:11:42,799 And remember the thrust. 929 01:11:42,866 --> 01:11:44,534 Four hundred megawatts and lightning 930 01:11:44,601 --> 01:11:46,603 isn't enough to go extragalactic. 931 01:11:48,972 --> 01:11:52,008 -What's this? -Your martini. Would you like one, dear? 932 01:11:52,075 --> 01:11:53,577 No, thank you. 933 01:11:53,643 --> 01:11:55,111 Oh, yes. 934 01:11:55,579 --> 01:11:56,713 Oh! 935 01:11:56,780 --> 01:11:58,515 And finally, 936 01:11:59,616 --> 01:12:01,651 your turkey. 937 01:12:01,718 --> 01:12:03,420 Dig right in. 938 01:12:03,487 --> 01:12:05,288 Eat fast, solve all your problems, 939 01:12:05,355 --> 01:12:07,991 and fulfill yourself. I'll make the beds. 940 01:12:12,128 --> 01:12:14,230 Wow! Quite a spread. 941 01:12:14,297 --> 01:12:17,567 Daddy, don't you think this is pretty strange? 942 01:12:17,634 --> 01:12:19,503 Your stepmother's just full of surprises. 943 01:12:19,569 --> 01:12:21,405 I know how happy you are... 944 01:12:21,471 --> 01:12:23,407 And I wouldn't do anything in the world 945 01:12:23,473 --> 01:12:25,174 to get in the way of that happiness. 946 01:12:25,241 --> 01:12:27,343 -But last night, after my date... -Your date? 947 01:12:27,411 --> 01:12:29,345 How'd your date go? 948 01:12:29,413 --> 01:12:32,949 Fine, but Dad, I saw her drink the battery juice from your Honda. 949 01:12:33,016 --> 01:12:34,884 Jessie! 950 01:12:34,951 --> 01:12:37,854 Not only that, I saw her lift a burning hot pan with her bare hands! 951 01:12:37,921 --> 01:12:39,923 Now I wish I didn't have to go to the lab. 952 01:12:41,425 --> 01:12:42,959 -Your new mother... -Stepmother! 953 01:12:43,026 --> 01:12:45,194 Stepmother loves you very much. 954 01:12:45,261 --> 01:12:47,664 She's concerned that she won't fit in around here. 955 01:12:47,731 --> 01:12:49,533 She knows there'll be problems... 956 01:12:49,599 --> 01:12:51,234 Dad, if the car won't start, will you at least 957 01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:52,969 give me the benefit of the doubt? 958 01:13:02,245 --> 01:13:04,714 Nothing happened, Jess. You must have dreamed it. 959 01:13:12,255 --> 01:13:15,625 -Bye. -Not you. 960 01:13:15,692 --> 01:13:17,994 ALIEN: We do the rest of the house in 14 seconds. 961 01:13:18,061 --> 01:13:21,164 Then Council provides the lightning. He does the transmission... 962 01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:23,667 ...and we head the 92 light years home. 963 01:13:38,381 --> 01:13:40,484 Setty Lab. This is Mills. 964 01:13:40,550 --> 01:13:43,453 Dad, come home right away. The house is on fire. 965 01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:45,021 Ah! 966 01:13:47,156 --> 01:13:50,359 You can't leave now! What if we get rain? 967 01:13:52,361 --> 01:13:53,897 Jessie! 968 01:13:53,963 --> 01:13:55,865 -Stay away from me. 969 01:13:55,932 --> 01:13:58,234 No, it's not what you think. 970 01:14:02,506 --> 01:14:04,007 CELESTE: Jessie. 971 01:14:06,109 --> 01:14:07,511 You are an alien! 972 01:14:16,686 --> 01:14:18,154 Oh, my God! 973 01:14:24,528 --> 01:14:25,962 And you! 974 01:14:27,096 --> 01:14:28,632 Quiet! 975 01:14:32,536 --> 01:14:34,638 -Bag, let her down! -Not yet. 976 01:14:34,704 --> 01:14:36,472 What do you want? 977 01:14:36,540 --> 01:14:38,542 We're from Co-sign into the Eighth. 978 01:14:38,608 --> 01:14:42,278 Ninety-two light years and two solar systems away. 979 01:14:42,345 --> 01:14:44,280 Your father penetrated our atmosphere 980 01:14:44,347 --> 01:14:47,216 with a radar beam nine days ago. 981 01:14:47,283 --> 01:14:51,020 We must duplicate that transmission in 12 hours 982 01:14:51,087 --> 01:14:53,923 or our civilization will be destroyed. 983 01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:57,894 Is that why you're here? But he doesn't know how he did it! 984 01:14:57,961 --> 01:14:59,529 We assume that's a lie. 985 01:14:59,596 --> 01:15:00,897 No, it's not. 986 01:15:00,964 --> 01:15:04,834 You should know him well enough to know he doesn't lie. 987 01:15:04,901 --> 01:15:08,304 Could that be the truth? Could it be it was just an accident? 988 01:15:08,371 --> 01:15:10,940 No! The teenager is lying, too. 989 01:15:11,675 --> 01:15:14,143 No, I don't think so. 990 01:15:14,210 --> 01:15:16,680 We have to find out or we'll never be able to leave. 991 01:15:16,746 --> 01:15:19,616 Leave? But what about my father? 992 01:15:19,683 --> 01:15:22,051 He loves you. For the first time 993 01:15:22,118 --> 01:15:24,020 in five years he loves someone. 994 01:15:24,087 --> 01:15:27,256 You're gonna kill that in him. He'll never recover. 995 01:15:27,323 --> 01:15:30,259 Celeste doesn't care. Right, Celeste? 996 01:15:30,894 --> 01:15:32,596 Right, Celeste? 997 01:15:33,096 --> 01:15:34,497 Right. 998 01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:39,168 If you don't say anything, we'll let you down. 999 01:15:39,235 --> 01:15:40,704 No, we won't! 1000 01:15:40,770 --> 01:15:43,472 I'm in charge of this mission. 1001 01:15:43,539 --> 01:15:45,975 Will you not tell your father until we've gone? 1002 01:15:46,042 --> 01:15:48,111 Yes, just don't hurt him. 1003 01:15:53,917 --> 01:15:55,384 -Let her down. -Celeste! 1004 01:15:55,451 --> 01:15:57,754 -Let her down! 1005 01:15:59,488 --> 01:16:01,591 That wasn't necessary. 1006 01:16:05,328 --> 01:16:07,664 Give the dog back his bark. 1007 01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:10,299 Celeste, your attitude sucks. 1008 01:16:14,604 --> 01:16:16,973 -Ciao , baby. -STEVE: What's this about a fire? 1009 01:16:18,007 --> 01:16:19,242 Daddy! 1010 01:16:19,308 --> 01:16:21,377 You said there was a fire! What's going on? 1011 01:16:21,444 --> 01:16:23,780 I had to say there was a fire. What was I to say? 1012 01:16:23,847 --> 01:16:25,849 "The living room's spotless, come home." 1013 01:16:25,915 --> 01:16:27,784 Why did you call me? Why did you lie? 1014 01:16:27,851 --> 01:16:31,788 I had to. Daddy, you married a person from another planet. 1015 01:16:31,855 --> 01:16:33,657 Celeste doesn't come from Holland. 1016 01:16:33,723 --> 01:16:37,460 She comes from a place 92 light years and two solar systems away. 1017 01:16:37,526 --> 01:16:39,295 Not again. You're going in for counseling. 1018 01:16:39,362 --> 01:16:41,597 She does. She took away Dave's bark 1019 01:16:41,665 --> 01:16:43,867 and put me on the ceiling for ten minutes. 1020 01:16:45,869 --> 01:16:48,905 Celeste is not from another planet. 1021 01:16:48,972 --> 01:16:52,075 Your stepmother is not an alien. 1022 01:16:52,141 --> 01:16:56,312 I mean, please, this is a fantasy. Don't you think I know aliens? 1023 01:16:56,379 --> 01:16:58,147 It's my business to know. 1024 01:16:58,214 --> 01:17:00,349 Why do we never see her eat or sleep? 1025 01:17:00,416 --> 01:17:04,821 And how come we suddenly get a new living room in one afternoon? 1026 01:17:04,888 --> 01:17:08,692 And inside that bag there's a horrible eye. 1027 01:17:08,758 --> 01:17:11,795 Just like why my car wouldn't start this morning? 1028 01:17:11,861 --> 01:17:13,763 Just look inside. 1029 01:17:16,766 --> 01:17:18,101 Okay. 1030 01:17:18,167 --> 01:17:20,770 I come home from the lab to look in a purse. 1031 01:17:25,274 --> 01:17:27,210 Lipstick. Passion pink. 1032 01:17:29,545 --> 01:17:33,249 Mascara. Unusual for a purse, isn't it? 1033 01:17:33,316 --> 01:17:36,720 Q-tips. An eye! 1034 01:17:36,786 --> 01:17:38,387 Jessie, there's no eye in here. 1035 01:17:38,454 --> 01:17:41,725 She made it disappear. There was one in there. 1036 01:17:41,791 --> 01:17:45,128 And she did lift up the bacon without a potholder. 1037 01:17:45,194 --> 01:17:48,231 And what about all that food she cooked for breakfast? 1038 01:17:48,297 --> 01:17:50,700 You don't have an answer and you won't believe me. 1039 01:17:50,767 --> 01:17:52,736 And she's gonna be gone in 12 hours, 1040 01:17:52,802 --> 01:17:54,537 and why won't you listen to me? 1041 01:17:54,603 --> 01:17:57,306 Now, honey, come on. Jessie, come here. 1042 01:17:57,373 --> 01:17:59,275 Hey, Jessie. 1043 01:18:00,109 --> 01:18:02,011 Jessie, where are you going? 1044 01:18:06,349 --> 01:18:08,084 Come back here, Jessie. 1045 01:18:09,152 --> 01:18:11,020 Get off the street! 1046 01:18:11,087 --> 01:18:14,891 Jessie, you bring that bike back here now! Hey, come on. 1047 01:18:17,193 --> 01:18:19,262 What's wrong? 1048 01:18:21,697 --> 01:18:23,032 Come on! 1049 01:18:27,603 --> 01:18:29,005 No! 1050 01:18:41,951 --> 01:18:43,686 -Jessie. -Daddy. 1051 01:18:49,458 --> 01:18:52,061 I'm sorry, I didn't see her. Is she all right? 1052 01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:54,463 She's okay. 1053 01:18:54,530 --> 01:18:55,965 I didn't see her. 1054 01:18:56,032 --> 01:18:57,333 It's all right. 1055 01:19:06,709 --> 01:19:09,045 You gave yourself away to save my life. 1056 01:19:27,630 --> 01:19:29,265 I'll be right back. 1057 01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:49,052 Do you really have to go? 1058 01:19:51,420 --> 01:19:54,723 It's the same on both our planets. 1059 01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:57,460 Just when you get to know someone they have to leave. 1060 01:19:59,395 --> 01:20:04,067 My mom, I mean, my first mom, had to leave, too. 1061 01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:08,771 I know you have to go. This isn't your home. I understand that. 1062 01:20:12,275 --> 01:20:14,143 Can you at least wait till morning? 1063 01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:18,114 I'll try. 1064 01:20:54,017 --> 01:20:55,384 Where's your spaceship? 1065 01:20:57,853 --> 01:21:00,189 Behind your moon, Steve. 1066 01:21:00,256 --> 01:21:02,025 What do you do up there? 1067 01:21:02,091 --> 01:21:04,360 Meditate? Plan how to break hearts? If you know what they are. 1068 01:21:08,531 --> 01:21:11,968 We are where you will be in 55 centuries. If you make it. 1069 01:21:12,969 --> 01:21:15,671 I'm 1,296 years old. 1070 01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:21,177 We reproduce by synthesiz in a petri dish. 1071 01:21:21,244 --> 01:21:25,714 We use 104 percent of our brain capacity as opposed to your 36 percent. 1072 01:21:27,917 --> 01:21:30,753 Our lives are spent in perfect harmony 1073 01:21:30,819 --> 01:21:33,056 improving our civilization with none of 1074 01:21:33,122 --> 01:21:35,824 the erratic highs and lows you have here. 1075 01:21:35,891 --> 01:21:38,094 I see. Sort of like Switzerland. 1076 01:21:39,728 --> 01:21:41,564 Why do you reproduce in a petri dish? 1077 01:21:41,630 --> 01:21:44,300 We learned that sex was inefficient and messy. 1078 01:21:44,367 --> 01:21:47,136 So you got rid of it, just like that? 1079 01:21:47,203 --> 01:21:49,772 I must admit, we were a little hasty on that one. 1080 01:21:49,838 --> 01:21:53,476 You mean I married a virgin? Mother would be proud. 1081 01:21:56,912 --> 01:21:59,882 Don't you ever do stuff like go on vacation? 1082 01:21:59,949 --> 01:22:01,150 Sure we do. 1083 01:22:01,217 --> 01:22:02,718 What do you do on vacation? 1084 01:22:02,785 --> 01:22:04,087 Math. 1085 01:22:05,154 --> 01:22:07,156 What do you do to have fun? 1086 01:22:07,223 --> 01:22:08,357 Oh. Graphs. 1087 01:22:11,727 --> 01:22:14,263 We go to warm places together and hold hands. 1088 01:22:18,434 --> 01:22:20,369 It's too bad you don't eat food. 1089 01:22:20,436 --> 01:22:22,205 You might find it could be quite pleasurable. 1090 01:22:23,739 --> 01:22:25,208 You get pleasure out of food? 1091 01:22:25,274 --> 01:22:27,143 -Here. -No, thank you. 1092 01:22:27,210 --> 01:22:29,979 If you want my secrets you'll eat my sandwich. 1093 01:22:36,219 --> 01:22:37,420 Chew! 1094 01:22:49,065 --> 01:22:50,399 Wow! 1095 01:22:51,534 --> 01:22:54,970 This is fun. What is it? 1096 01:22:55,971 --> 01:22:57,440 Oh! 1097 01:22:57,506 --> 01:23:01,044 Ham and cheese on rye with mayo. 1098 01:23:01,110 --> 01:23:04,880 And I love the way it feels against the roof of my mouth 1099 01:23:04,947 --> 01:23:06,782 and the sides of my tongue. 1100 01:23:07,316 --> 01:23:09,418 This is fun. 1101 01:23:09,485 --> 01:23:11,020 Here, wash it down. 1102 01:23:18,227 --> 01:23:20,463 This makes me smile, too. 1103 01:23:22,398 --> 01:23:24,133 Seagram's Scotch Whiskey. 1104 01:23:28,204 --> 01:23:29,205 Celeste? 1105 01:23:30,339 --> 01:23:31,940 Did you ever like me? 1106 01:23:33,609 --> 01:23:37,580 Steve, of course I did. I do. 1107 01:23:37,646 --> 01:23:40,216 It wasn't just physics? 1108 01:23:40,283 --> 01:23:45,188 No. If I were an Earth person I would do exactly what we did. 1109 01:23:45,254 --> 01:23:46,989 It might have taken a little longer, but... 1110 01:23:47,056 --> 01:23:48,524 Then why can't you stay? 1111 01:23:51,327 --> 01:23:52,961 I just can't. 1112 01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:54,863 What if I never sent the transmission again? 1113 01:23:54,930 --> 01:23:57,133 Then nobody would be able to use it against you ever. 1114 01:23:58,934 --> 01:24:01,404 Unfortunately that's not the history of your planet. 1115 01:24:01,470 --> 01:24:04,707 And if you don't do that transmission, my planet will die. 1116 01:24:08,711 --> 01:24:10,313 -Are you mad at me? -Mad? 1117 01:24:10,379 --> 01:24:14,250 I'm furious. I'm confused, I'm upset, I'm frustrated, I'm furious! 1118 01:24:14,317 --> 01:24:15,784 You're everything I ever wanted 1119 01:24:15,851 --> 01:24:17,920 in a human and an extraterrestrial. 1120 01:24:17,986 --> 01:24:20,856 If I send the transmission, which I don't know how to do 1121 01:24:20,923 --> 01:24:22,391 and save your planet, I lose you. 1122 01:24:22,458 --> 01:24:25,094 If I don't send it, you stay but I kill a whole planet. 1123 01:24:26,462 --> 01:24:28,664 But I'd make a lousy Earth person. 1124 01:24:28,731 --> 01:24:31,200 I made way too much breakfast, and the dog hates me. 1125 01:24:31,267 --> 01:24:35,404 The dog loves you. We all love you. 1126 01:24:35,471 --> 01:24:38,541 Don't you see, that's why it's so hard. 1127 01:24:39,742 --> 01:24:41,544 That's why I'm so torn apart. 1128 01:24:42,745 --> 01:24:43,879 I feel like Durante. 1129 01:24:48,317 --> 01:24:50,986 "Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go 1130 01:24:51,053 --> 01:24:52,955 "Still had the feeling that you wanted to stay 1131 01:24:53,021 --> 01:24:55,291 "Knew it was right wasn't wrong 1132 01:24:55,358 --> 01:24:57,226 "Go stay, stay go" 1133 01:24:58,527 --> 01:25:00,496 That's exactly how I feel. 1134 01:25:00,563 --> 01:25:02,965 You know this song? 1135 01:25:03,031 --> 01:25:06,001 I feel just like you and Durante. 1136 01:25:06,068 --> 01:25:09,104 I don't wanna go, but I can't stay. 1137 01:25:10,573 --> 01:25:12,074 I feel only one way. 1138 01:25:13,409 --> 01:25:14,443 I want you to stay. 1139 01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:31,227 Boy, talk about being tied to your work. 1140 01:25:32,661 --> 01:25:34,597 I spend my whole career trying to prove 1141 01:25:34,663 --> 01:25:36,064 there's life on other planets 1142 01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:38,100 and when I find it, I marry it. 1143 01:25:44,072 --> 01:25:45,374 Lightning. 1144 01:25:45,441 --> 01:25:47,009 Ah! 1145 01:25:47,075 --> 01:25:49,545 You shocked me. 1146 01:25:49,612 --> 01:25:52,781 Static electricity. The metal in Ron's snaps. 1147 01:25:55,218 --> 01:25:56,452 Ah! 1148 01:25:59,222 --> 01:26:00,489 Snaps. 1149 01:26:00,556 --> 01:26:01,757 Ron's buttons. 1150 01:26:02,591 --> 01:26:04,793 The cage around the Klystron. 1151 01:26:04,860 --> 01:26:07,062 That's the wild card! Come on. 1152 01:26:11,434 --> 01:26:12,635 He knows. 1153 01:26:13,702 --> 01:26:15,338 He's a true scientist. 1154 01:26:15,404 --> 01:26:17,673 You realize, of course, as soon as 1155 01:26:17,740 --> 01:26:19,675 we've made contact we'll have to leave. 1156 01:26:21,510 --> 01:26:22,545 I'm aware of that. 1157 01:26:22,611 --> 01:26:24,280 Right after we kill them. 1158 01:26:24,347 --> 01:26:25,748 Kill them? 1159 01:26:25,814 --> 01:26:27,250 Not just them. The whole thing. 1160 01:26:27,316 --> 01:26:29,017 What do you call it? Earth. 1161 01:26:29,084 --> 01:26:30,586 We're not killing anybody. 1162 01:26:30,653 --> 01:26:32,921 We'll get what we need and leave Earth as we found it. 1163 01:26:32,988 --> 01:26:35,190 I'm afraid not. We're wiping out everything. 1164 01:26:35,258 --> 01:26:40,529 People, land mass, water. The Council has told me to take care of it. 1165 01:26:40,596 --> 01:26:42,030 We're not going to do anything. 1166 01:26:42,097 --> 01:26:44,733 Eight minutes after he transmits that signal... 1167 01:26:44,800 --> 01:26:46,235 Here's Earth! 1168 01:26:54,142 --> 01:26:56,845 Jessie, sweetie! It's time. 1169 01:26:56,912 --> 01:26:58,581 Come on, get up. 1170 01:27:06,555 --> 01:27:08,190 Ah! 1171 01:27:08,257 --> 01:27:09,558 Be careful. 1172 01:27:42,791 --> 01:27:44,226 Yeah. 1173 01:27:44,293 --> 01:27:46,829 CELESTE: Ron, it's Celeste. 1174 01:27:46,895 --> 01:27:50,232 Celeste! It's Ron! 1175 01:27:50,299 --> 01:27:52,200 Ron, it's just not working out. 1176 01:27:52,267 --> 01:27:54,069 Steve and I simply aren't compatible. 1177 01:27:54,136 --> 01:27:55,604 What? 1178 01:27:55,671 --> 01:27:59,241 Our physical relationship just isn't what it should be. 1179 01:27:59,308 --> 01:28:01,977 I need to talk to someone. I need to talk to you. 1180 01:28:03,679 --> 01:28:07,450 -About your physical relationship? 1181 01:28:08,016 --> 01:28:09,685 Yeah. 1182 01:28:09,752 --> 01:28:11,887 Could you come to the lab, and we 1183 01:28:11,954 --> 01:28:13,589 could discuss these matters of the flesh? 1184 01:28:13,656 --> 01:28:18,961 The flesh? Yes, sure. But, I mean, he's my brother. 1185 01:28:19,027 --> 01:28:22,831 But we don't need to tell Steve everything. 1186 01:28:22,898 --> 01:28:27,202 And Ron, would you mind doing me a little favor? 1187 01:28:27,269 --> 01:28:30,739 I left my purse in the bedroom at home. Bye. 1188 01:28:33,709 --> 01:28:36,779 This is terrible. What am I going to do? He's my own brother! 1189 01:28:36,845 --> 01:28:39,314 This is terrible. My own brother! 1190 01:28:40,315 --> 01:28:42,184 -And yet. 1191 01:29:00,268 --> 01:29:02,738 Where've you been all day? This rain could stop at any minute. 1192 01:29:02,805 --> 01:29:05,374 Grady, we need a conductor. A conductor. 1193 01:29:07,109 --> 01:29:09,144 Solid tin. 1194 01:29:09,211 --> 01:29:12,080 Next year when they give out that Nobel Prize 1195 01:29:12,147 --> 01:29:14,417 I'll be up there, and I'll tell them about... 1196 01:29:14,483 --> 01:29:16,284 Steve, darling. 1197 01:29:25,360 --> 01:29:27,195 See what did it? Ronnie put his jacket 1198 01:29:27,262 --> 01:29:28,997 on the chair and it had brass buttons. 1199 01:29:29,064 --> 01:29:30,298 It was a short circuit. 1200 01:29:30,365 --> 01:29:32,200 Electrical impulse bouncing between 1201 01:29:32,267 --> 01:29:34,236 the Klystron and the fried buttons. 1202 01:29:34,302 --> 01:29:36,839 It threw the power way beyond 400 megawatts! 1203 01:29:41,176 --> 01:29:42,645 Telescope's all set, Dr. Mills. 1204 01:29:42,711 --> 01:29:45,180 You won't forget to tell Dr. Sagan how helpful I've been? 1205 01:29:45,247 --> 01:29:47,850 Carl Sagan? Sure. 1206 01:29:47,916 --> 01:29:50,519 Now all we need is the lightning. 1207 01:29:50,586 --> 01:29:52,387 Watch the monitors. That's where the action is. 1208 01:29:52,455 --> 01:29:53,989 All right, put these on. 1209 01:29:55,524 --> 01:29:56,859 Put those on. 1210 01:29:57,960 --> 01:29:59,495 Okay, set your attractors. 1211 01:29:59,562 --> 01:30:01,329 Set your attractors. 1212 01:30:02,197 --> 01:30:04,066 Steve, I have to talk to you. 1213 01:30:04,667 --> 01:30:05,834 Bag! 1214 01:30:05,901 --> 01:30:09,004 You've signed your own death warrant, sister! 1215 01:30:09,071 --> 01:30:11,239 Prepare to initiate the system. 1216 01:30:11,306 --> 01:30:12,741 Prepare to initiate the system. 1217 01:30:12,808 --> 01:30:15,010 I've got to. I want to kill myself. 1218 01:30:15,077 --> 01:30:16,512 I'm in love with your wife. 1219 01:30:16,579 --> 01:30:18,981 -What? -Steve, the reflectors. 1220 01:30:19,848 --> 01:30:22,350 Ready! 1221 01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,487 -Now! 1222 01:30:31,393 --> 01:30:32,928 Jesus! 1223 01:30:40,969 --> 01:30:43,205 Great! Nothing's changed here! 1224 01:30:51,714 --> 01:30:52,915 Daddy, look! 1225 01:30:52,981 --> 01:30:54,149 I know! 1226 01:30:55,117 --> 01:30:56,418 I'll be damned! 1227 01:31:03,091 --> 01:31:04,527 We did it again! 1228 01:31:04,593 --> 01:31:06,028 Science! 1229 01:31:06,094 --> 01:31:08,631 Steve, didn't you hear what I said? 1230 01:31:08,697 --> 01:31:10,866 I am in love with your wife. 1231 01:31:10,933 --> 01:31:14,336 She's in love with me. It's a whole thing. We gotta talk. 1232 01:31:15,070 --> 01:31:16,572 Get rid of that bag. 1233 01:31:16,639 --> 01:31:17,640 The bag? 1234 01:31:17,706 --> 01:31:19,542 That bag will destroy your planet. 1235 01:31:21,376 --> 01:31:24,647 Babe, I love ya, we'll get rid of the bag. I mean, what's in it? 1236 01:31:24,713 --> 01:31:27,516 A little eyeliner, a little lipstick, a little eye. 1237 01:31:40,395 --> 01:31:42,998 Lights out! 1238 01:31:55,377 --> 01:31:58,581 T-minus ten seconds and counting. 1239 01:31:58,647 --> 01:32:00,515 Ten, nine, eight... 1240 01:32:00,583 --> 01:32:03,385 Too late 1241 01:32:03,451 --> 01:32:06,154 I am indestructible. 1242 01:32:06,221 --> 01:32:10,225 Seven, six, five, four, three... 1243 01:32:35,584 --> 01:32:38,220 You do a woman a favor and the eye in her purse attacks you. 1244 01:32:44,259 --> 01:32:46,094 Is the pocketbook dead? 1245 01:32:46,161 --> 01:32:49,331 Of course, you nincompoop. 1246 01:32:50,165 --> 01:32:51,867 Please, step outside. 1247 01:32:57,239 --> 01:32:59,608 Oh, no, no. 1248 01:33:02,110 --> 01:33:05,513 Oh! I'm in hell! This is hell! 1249 01:33:07,349 --> 01:33:09,785 The transmission was a success. 1250 01:33:09,852 --> 01:33:14,022 Our gravity has already begun to revert. We have been saved. 1251 01:33:14,089 --> 01:33:17,860 Why has this planet not been dispatched? 1252 01:33:17,926 --> 01:33:20,362 You never said you were going to destroy this place. 1253 01:33:20,428 --> 01:33:23,365 We must! They know how to destroy us. 1254 01:33:23,431 --> 01:33:27,002 Council, Dr. Mills never meant to hurt anyone. 1255 01:33:27,069 --> 01:33:30,472 There are too many strange and good things that go on here to destroy it. 1256 01:33:30,538 --> 01:33:33,475 They have war, they have indifference, they have suffering. 1257 01:33:33,541 --> 01:33:36,244 Yes, but they also have jitterbugs. 1258 01:33:36,311 --> 01:33:37,913 -Jitterbugs? -Frivolous! 1259 01:33:37,980 --> 01:33:39,247 And children. 1260 01:33:39,314 --> 01:33:43,852 Jokes. And ham and cheese on rye with mayo! 1261 01:33:43,919 --> 01:33:45,754 Mediocre. 1262 01:33:45,821 --> 01:33:47,455 And making love. 1263 01:33:48,090 --> 01:33:49,324 And sneezes. 1264 01:33:49,391 --> 01:33:50,592 Sneezes? 1265 01:33:50,659 --> 01:33:52,327 And Jimmy Durante! 1266 01:33:54,196 --> 01:33:55,463 Jimmy? 1267 01:33:57,565 --> 01:33:58,834 Show me Jimmy. 1268 01:34:00,435 --> 01:34:03,005 Show you Jimmy. Okay. 1269 01:34:04,807 --> 01:34:06,474 They want to see Jimmy. 1270 01:34:06,541 --> 01:34:07,943 Come on. 1271 01:34:10,112 --> 01:34:11,113 Grady. 1272 01:34:12,681 --> 01:34:16,218 Jimmy Durante from The Man Who Came To Dinner. 1273 01:34:21,489 --> 01:34:24,059 Hello, up there, you omnipotent superbeings 1274 01:34:24,126 --> 01:34:26,461 from some other dimensional planet. 1275 01:34:26,862 --> 01:34:27,963 Hit it! 1276 01:34:29,965 --> 01:34:32,634 * Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go 1277 01:34:32,701 --> 01:34:35,670 * But still had the feeling that you wanted to stay 1278 01:34:35,738 --> 01:34:38,540 * You knew it was right wasn't wrong 1279 01:34:38,606 --> 01:34:42,177 * Still you know you wouldn't be very long * 1280 01:34:44,112 --> 01:34:45,680 Ah! 1281 01:34:49,217 --> 01:34:51,920 * It's tough to have the feeling that you wanted to go 1282 01:34:51,987 --> 01:34:54,522 * Still had the feeling that you wanted to stay 1283 01:34:54,589 --> 01:34:56,792 * Start to go, change your mind 1284 01:34:56,859 --> 01:34:59,294 * Start to go again But change your mind again 1285 01:34:59,361 --> 01:35:01,730 * It's tough to have the feeling that you wanted to go 1286 01:35:01,797 --> 01:35:03,966 * Still have the feeling that you wanted to stay 1287 01:35:04,032 --> 01:35:06,368 * Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do 1288 01:35:06,434 --> 01:35:07,736 * l go 1289 01:35:08,370 --> 01:35:10,272 * l stay 1290 01:35:16,979 --> 01:35:18,580 Kill them. 1291 01:35:22,885 --> 01:35:26,221 Hey, you! This is an English automobile! 1292 01:35:33,428 --> 01:35:35,463 We have never had sneezes. 1293 01:35:38,133 --> 01:35:42,037 Sneezing makes the head tingle. The whole body feels alive. 1294 01:35:42,737 --> 01:35:44,639 What else is like this? 1295 01:35:47,009 --> 01:35:50,178 Sir, can you see with my eyes? 1296 01:35:50,245 --> 01:35:51,746 Of course. 1297 01:35:52,614 --> 01:35:54,216 Then this is why. 1298 01:36:20,142 --> 01:36:21,609 I see. 1299 01:36:23,045 --> 01:36:25,280 This... 1300 01:36:25,347 --> 01:36:30,118 What do you call it? Earth. Deserves more study. 1301 01:36:30,185 --> 01:36:32,520 It's too weird to destroy. 1302 01:36:35,924 --> 01:36:37,893 It will be spared. 1303 01:36:41,129 --> 01:36:43,765 Celeste, it is time to come home. 1304 01:37:25,173 --> 01:37:26,875 Now come home, Celeste. 1305 01:37:29,477 --> 01:37:30,478 Sir. 1306 01:37:32,981 --> 01:37:34,582 Sir, I am home. 1307 01:37:35,517 --> 01:37:37,552 It's no use. I can't go. 1308 01:37:39,087 --> 01:37:40,923 That is impossible. 1309 01:37:40,989 --> 01:37:42,790 Celeste, you must return. 1310 01:37:42,857 --> 01:37:45,227 Wait. Come on now. 1311 01:37:47,495 --> 01:37:49,831 Hi. Steve Mills. 1312 01:37:49,898 --> 01:37:53,501 You look like a reasonable bunch of superbeings. 1313 01:37:53,568 --> 01:37:55,737 We really have to work this out. 1314 01:37:56,905 --> 01:37:58,440 I'm in love 1315 01:37:58,506 --> 01:38:01,109 with your Chief Extragalactic Probist. 1316 01:38:01,176 --> 01:38:02,344 No! 1317 01:38:02,410 --> 01:38:03,912 What do you mean, no? 1318 01:38:03,979 --> 01:38:08,050 We need someone to tell us about your war and making love... 1319 01:38:08,116 --> 01:38:10,252 ...and all your fuzziness. 1320 01:38:10,318 --> 01:38:12,487 Ah! Excuse me. 1321 01:38:12,554 --> 01:38:15,557 Ah. Big Thing in the Sky. 1322 01:38:15,623 --> 01:38:18,660 You need someone to tell you about making love? 1323 01:38:18,726 --> 01:38:22,864 We need someone to tell us about everything. 1324 01:38:22,931 --> 01:38:25,167 Does anyone up there look as good as she does? 1325 01:38:25,233 --> 01:38:27,602 Everyone does. 1326 01:38:27,669 --> 01:38:29,972 -Better. -Really? 1327 01:38:30,038 --> 01:38:31,473 It's impossible. 1328 01:38:31,539 --> 01:38:36,478 Sir? He knows more than I do about all things down here. 1329 01:38:37,579 --> 01:38:39,581 It's an interesting idea. 1330 01:38:40,582 --> 01:38:41,916 He can come. 1331 01:38:47,922 --> 01:38:50,058 Who's gonna drive this thing? 1332 01:38:50,125 --> 01:38:54,963 Group Captain Winnek Woofet and the 12th Navigational Command. 1333 01:39:02,870 --> 01:39:04,472 Oh! 1334 01:39:10,412 --> 01:39:14,316 My God! She looks just like Princess Stephanie. 1335 01:39:16,751 --> 01:39:18,920 She looks just like Princess Stephanie, too. 1336 01:39:18,987 --> 01:39:20,922 If you say so. 1337 01:39:24,159 --> 01:39:26,694 They all look like Princess Stephanie. 1338 01:39:28,963 --> 01:39:30,265 Yes. 1339 01:39:32,334 --> 01:39:34,736 -Can I ask you a question? -Yes. 1340 01:39:37,372 --> 01:39:40,008 You think my Rolls would be impressive? 1341 01:39:45,313 --> 01:39:47,882 -Might be. -Can I bring it? 1342 01:39:47,949 --> 01:39:49,517 Yes, of course. 1343 01:39:49,584 --> 01:39:50,618 Yes. 1344 01:39:55,023 --> 01:39:57,292 -Goodbye, my dear. -Bye, Uncle Ron. 1345 01:39:57,359 --> 01:39:58,926 Bye, my dear. 1346 01:40:03,765 --> 01:40:05,633 Ron, are you sure you want to do this? 1347 01:40:05,700 --> 01:40:07,902 You're making a pretty radical move here. 1348 01:40:09,304 --> 01:40:10,705 Ah, Steve. 1349 01:40:11,973 --> 01:40:13,841 They all look like Princess Stephanie. 1350 01:40:15,210 --> 01:40:17,145 They do, don't they? 1351 01:40:19,747 --> 01:40:21,883 Well, time's wasting. 1352 01:40:23,218 --> 01:40:25,387 Where are the keys to your beachhouse? 1353 01:40:32,260 --> 01:40:34,062 Enjoy. 1354 01:40:35,330 --> 01:40:38,400 Have a nice drive. Flight. Trip. 1355 01:40:40,068 --> 01:40:42,670 Get the heck off this planet. 1356 01:41:08,130 --> 01:41:09,131 Yes. 1357 01:41:14,436 --> 01:41:15,837 ALL: Come on. Hi. 1358 01:41:15,903 --> 01:41:18,440 Right over here, baby. 1359 01:41:18,506 --> 01:41:20,908 -What is it? -It's a car. 1360 01:41:41,963 --> 01:41:44,232 We'll be in touch, Celeste. 1361 01:41:44,299 --> 01:41:47,235 Enjoy your humanity while it lasts. 1362 01:42:05,953 --> 01:42:08,756 A little one-on-one dad? 1363 01:42:08,823 --> 01:42:10,558 No thanks, honey. 1364 01:42:10,625 --> 01:42:14,529 I think Celeste and I are going upstairs and get some sleep. 1365 01:42:15,230 --> 01:42:16,598 I get it. 1366 01:42:18,300 --> 01:42:19,801 I'll be right up. 1367 01:42:25,907 --> 01:42:27,575 Ah! 1368 01:42:30,178 --> 01:42:33,281 Are you human or what? 1369 01:42:33,348 --> 01:42:35,317 Human. Every part. 1370 01:42:39,821 --> 01:42:43,191 All that power to do stuff left with Bag, right? 1371 01:42:43,791 --> 01:42:45,126 I guess so. 1372 01:42:46,328 --> 01:42:47,429 Drive! 1373 01:42:48,396 --> 01:42:49,931 Drive! 1374 01:43:03,711 --> 01:43:05,313 Yes! 1375 01:47:40,454 --> 01:47:45,627 Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.