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* OH! SAY CAN YOU SEE *
* BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT *
* WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED *
* THROUGH THE TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING! *
* WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STARS *
* THRO' THE PERILOUS FIGHT *
* O'ER THE RAMPARTS WE WATCHED *
* WERE SO GALLANTLY STREAMING *
* AND THE ROCKETS' RED GLARE *
* THE BOMBS BURSTING IN AIR *
* GAVE PROOF THRO' THE NIGHT... **
I WISH KATIE WERE HERE.
SHE'S THE ONE WHO GOT ME TO PLAY AGAIN.
IF EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMEBODY TO REMIND THEM WHO THEY ARE,
KATIE CHANDLER WAS THAT FOR ME.
SIX MONTHS AGO, I WAS AS FAR AWAY FROM BASEBALL
AS I COULD GET.
THINGS WEREN'T EXACTLY HAPPENING FOR ME.
I WAS LIVING IN A MOTEL WITH SOME COCKTAIL WAITRESS.
I WAS AS LOST AS LOST COULD BE.
BILLY, WE HAVE TO HAVE A TALK.
LISTEN TO ME!
WHAT?
HI, DANNY.
BILLY, YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL. IT'S YOUR MOM.
LOOK, DANNY, TELL HER I'M AT WORK, OK? I'LL CALL HER BACK.
BILLY, IT'S YOUR MOTHER.
HI.
BILL...
I HAVE SOME TERRIBLE NEWS.
KATIE CHANDLER DIED YESTERDAY.
HOW?
SHE SHOT HERSELF AT SEASMOKE.
OH, MY GOD.
SHE LEFT A WILL.
YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER ASHES.
WHAT?
YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER ASHES.
SHE SAID THAT YOU WERE THE ONLY PERSON
WHO WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM.
COME HOME, BILLY.
I'LL LEAVE TONIGHT.
KATIE WAS SO WILD,
AND SHE HATED RULES.
THAT'S WHY SHE WAS THE GREATEST BABYSITTER
OF ALL TIME.
KATIE!
I'LL PUT THE BLANKET UP FRONT.
KATIE, WE SHOULD BE BACK EARLY.
IF WE'RE NOT, THERE'S SOME LEFTOVERS IN THE FRIDGE.
OH, BILLY CAN STAY UP AND WATCH GUNSMOKE,
THEN HE SHOULD GO TO BED.
BYE. HAVE FUN.
SAM!
[THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER PLAYING]
PLAY BALL!
SAM, WE'RE ALL WAITING!
HANG ON! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!
TRYING TO FIND MY WALLET.
TONY TAYLOR STEPS UP TO THE PLATE. HERE'S THE PITCH.
ALL RIGHT, BILLY.
TAYLOR SWINGS. IT'S GONE!
CUBS LEAD, 1-0.
WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
I HATE THEM.
SAM!
YOU GOT TO HAVE FAITH.
THEY'LL BOUNCE BACK. IT'S ONLY THE FIRST INNING.
EVEN IF THEY DO LOSE,
TOMORROW I'LL TAKE YOU TO THAT DOUBLE-HEADER.
COOL!
ALL RIGHT? HERE. SEE YA.
ALVIN DARK SWINGS. IT'S HIT. IT'S GONE!
CUBS LEAD, 2-0.
KATIE, STOP IT!
RELAX, MOM. CAN I DRIVE DADDY'S CADDY, HMM?
NO, YOU CAN'T.
LET'S GO.
UH-HUH.
SAM, DID YOU FIND YOUR WALLET?
OH, YEAH. IT WAS BEHIND MY DRESSER.
OH... WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
SAM, YOU ARE NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS.
WE'RE DOWN 2-0, BUT WE'RE COMING BACK!
BYE-BYE.
BYE!
HEY, WHAT'S THE SCORE?
8-0, CUBS, TOP OF THE THIRD.
MAYBE THEY'LL RALLY.
NO, THEY WON'T. THEY NEVER RALLY. THEY STINK.
I HATE THE PHILLIES.
YOU KNOW, I FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY. SORRY.
I BOUGHT YOU A PRESENT.
* DA DA DA DA! **
IT'S A BASEBALL.
NOW, WHEN THINGS GET CONFUSING-- AND THEY WILL--
THIS WILL REMIND YOU THAT YOU'RE A BALL PLAYER.
THANKS. IS IT TOO HOMO TO WEAR AROUND MY NECK?
NO. DRIVE THE GIRLS CRAZY,
ALL OF THEM. TRUST ME.
THERE YOU GO. LOOKIN' SHARP!
COOL.
I'M BORED. LET'S BLOW THIS POP STAND, HUH?
WHERE?
GET YOUR SWIM SUIT. MEET ME IN FIVE MINUTES.
* YOU SHAKE MY NERVES, AND YOU RATTLE MY BRAINS... *
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
TO THE SHORE!
THAT'S SO FAR.
WHAT ARE YOU GET IN THE CAR.
WE'LL GET IN TROUBLE.
NO, WE WON'T.
YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT, AND WE ALWAYS DO.
I'M IN CHARGE.
YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY.
YEAH.
GET IN THE CAR.
* KISS ME, BABY, OOOOH! *
WAIT A MINUTE. DO YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE?
NO!
HAVE YOU DRIVEN A CAR?
YEAH, ONCE. IN MY PARENTS' DRIVEWAY.
OH, GOD!
RELAX.
* GOT TO TELL THIS WORLD *
* THAT YOU'RE MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE *
* I CHEW MY NAILS, AND THEN I TWIDDLE MY THUMBS... *
THANK YOU, DADDY!
AHA!
* COME ON, BABY, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY *
* GOODNESS GRACIOUS, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE **
WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT GIRLS
BECAUSE IN A COUPLE YEARS,
THAT'S ALL YOU'LL BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT GIRLS LIKE.
GIRLS LIKE GUYS WHO MAKE THEM LAUGH. RIGHT?
AND GIRLS LIKE GUYS WHO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
OTHER THAN THEMSELVES.
AND GIRLS LIKE GUYS WHO DON'T BREAK THEIR HEART.
OH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
GIRLS LIKE GUYS WHO SMOKE.
LET'S SMOKE.
HOLD THE WHEEL.
ME?
NOW!
THESE CIGARETTES ARE WEIRD.
YEAH, I KNOW. THEY'RE GRACE'S.
THEY'RE MENTHOLS. HEE HEE!
THEY'RE STILL WEIRD.
I TELL YOU WHAT. ON THE WAY HOME,
WE'LL PICK UP SOME REAL COOL CIGARETTES.
REMEMBER THAT GUY I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT?
I BROKE UP WITH HIM. HE HAD BAD BREATH.
THERE'S THIS LIFEGUARD I LIKE DOWN HERE.
I'M GOING OUT WITH HIM THIS SUMMER.
HE'S GOT PERFECT BREATH.
HOW'S YOUR BREATH? LET'S SEE.
GOOD. KEEP IT THAT WAY.
LAST ONE IN FRENCH KISSES MY GRANDFATHER!
IT WON'T BE ME!
WOO HOO! WOO!
* DREAM *
* DREAM, DREAM, DREAM *
* DREAM *
* DREAM, DREAM, DREAM *
* WHEN I WANT YOU *
* IN MY ARMS *
* WHEN I WANT YOU *
* AND ALL YOUR CHARMS... *
WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, DON'T.
* ...IS DREAM *
* DREAM, DREAM, DREAM... *
HEY...HEY!
YOU'RE 10. I'M ALMOST 16.
IT WOULD NEVER WORK, BELIEVE ME.
OUR DEAL IS TO BE BEST FRIENDS, HUH?
* WHENEVER I WANT YOU *
* ALL I HAVE TO DO *
* IS DREAM **
WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S THE WONDERFUL DIVING HORSE.
THE FIRST TIME HANK BROUGHT ME HERE WHEN I WAS LITTLE,
I WAS SO EXCITED.
I SAID, "THE HORSE IS GOING TO FLY!"
THEY JUST DRAGGED THIS POOR HORSE UP TO THIS PLATFORM
AND PUSHED HIM OFF INTO A COLD TANK OF WATER.
EVERYBODY LAUGHED AND THEY CLAPPED.
THEY THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY FUNNY.
I CRIED. I THOUGHT IT WAS MEAN.
LET'S GO!
* BO DIDDLEY BUY HIS BABY A DIAMOND RING *
* IF THAT DIAMOND RING DON'T SHINE *
YEE-HA!
* HE GONNA TAKE IT TO A PRIVATE EYE *
* IF THAT PRIVATE EYE CAN'T SEE *
* HE BETTER NOT TAKE THE RING FROM ME *
* BO DIDDLEY, BO DIDDLEY, HAVE YOU HEARD *
OH, NO!
HANK! HANK! HANK!
* MY PRETTY BABY SAID SHE WANTS A BIRD... **
PULL OVER!
THIS ISN'T FUNNY!
WHAT'LL WE DO?
WAVE.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT KATIE LEFT ME HER ASHES.
I MEAN, WHY ME?
BOY, I WANTED TO BAIL OUT,
BUT KATIE KEPT PULLING ME HOME.
CARLTON!
NEXT STOP, CARLTON!
CARLTON!
NEXT STOP, CARLTON!
BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, TIE GAME.
WE'LL GO INTO EXTRA INNINGS.
WE WON'T MAKE THAT TRAIN.
HEY, RELAX, APPLEBY.
WE WON'T MAKE THAT TRAIN.
THAT MEANS WE'RE NOT GOING HOME.
YOU WON'T SEE ROBIN PARKS,
AND I DON'T HAVE A PROM DATE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
I'M TAKING CARE OF IT, APPLEBY.
RELAX.
YEAH.
WE WON'T MAKE IT.
NEXT UP FOR CARLTON ACADEMY, NUMBER 9, BILLY WYATT.
YAY! YAY!
COME ON, BILLY!
PLAY BALL!
GO, BILLY.
COME ON, BILLY!
ALL RIGHT, BILLY, YOU GOT ONE!
GOOD GOING!
WAY TO GO, BILL!
NEXT UP, NUMBER 13, ALAN APPLEBY.
COME ON, APPLEBY!
COME ON, WYATT!
SAFE!
AP! AP! HEY, WAIT UP, AP!
COME ON.
WYATT!
BUD SCOTT.
NICE GAME.
THANK YOU, SIR.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS SUMMER?
I DON'T KNOW.
COME TO MY INSTRUCTIONAL CAMP.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I DIDN'T COME UP FROM FLORIDA TO WATCH YOU PLAY
JUST FOR A JOKE.
I'M MAKING YOU AN OFFER, SON.
I GOT TO TALK TO MY DAD.
YOU DO THAT, AND, UH... HERE'S MY CARD.
YOU HAVE YOUR DADDY CALL ME.
THANKS A LOT, SIR.
BUD SCOTT... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
THANK YOU!
WHOA!
HEY, WHO WON?
WE DID!
BILLY BROKE UP A TIE WHEN HE STOLE HOME!
NO!
YES!
HEY, ALAN, YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK THESE?
OH, YEAH.
MAKE A LITTLE MOVIE OF BILLY AND ME.
THE DINK HAS ONE.
WHO'S THAT?
IT'S APPLEBY'S STEPFATHER.
SORRY, MR. WYATT. HE'S A DINK.
HE WEARS SANDALS, BERMUDA SHORTS,
SMOKES PARLIAMENTS, AND DRIVES A LARK.
HE'S KILLING ME, MR. WYATT.
HA HA!
APPLEBY.
GINNY...
I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU MORE
THAN I DO RIGHT NOW.
APPLEBY!
THANKS FOR THE RIDE.
ALL RIGHT, ALAN. SEE YOU SOON. HERE YOU GO.
BILL, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC?
LET'S REVIEW THE ROBIN PARKS SITUATION.
I'M TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT HER.
YOU KNOW HER. I DON'T.
I LOVE HER. I'M A VIRGIN. I'M DESPERATE.
NOW, BILL, THEY ALL EQUAL, POTENTIALLY,
THE BIG "F" FOR ME AT THE PROM
IF YOU COME THROUGH FOR ME. BE MY FRIEND.
I WILL. I PROMISE.
YOU WILL? YOU PROMISE
I GOT IT!
I MEAN IT. SINCERELY.
BE...MY...FRIEND.
I GOT IT, APS.
BILL!
BE...
MY...
FRIEND!
IS SCHOOL GOING OK?
YEAH.
YEAH? HOW'D YOU DO ON THAT TRIG TEST?
"C".
LISTEN, BILLY. YOUR MOTHER AND I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE
AN S.A.T. PREP COURSE THIS SUMMER.
I WANT TO PLAY BALL.
YOU NEED HIGH S.A.T.s TO GET INTO A GOOD COLLEGE.
I JUST WANT TO PLAY IN THE MAJORS.
COLLEGE GIVES YOU
SOMETHING TO FALL BACK ON.
I DON'T NEED THAT.
MANY PLAYERS COME OUT OF THE COLLEGE RANKS.
I'LL BE 22 THEN.
WELL, I'M SORRY. THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.
BUD SCOTT WANTS ME TO PLAY BALL FOR HIM THIS SUMMER.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL HIM, I GUESS.
BUD SCOTT? YOU'RE KIDDING.
UH-UH.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
NO S.A.T.s THIS SUMMER?
DAMN RIGHT! YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY FOR THE PHILLIES!
RELAX, DAD. HOLD IT!
GOD, YOU'LL LOOK GOOD IN A PHILLIES UNIFORM!
YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY CENTER FIELD FOR THE PHILLIES!
CLEMENTE HITS A LONG DRIVE.
WYATT! HE'S GOING DEEP!
HE'S UP AGAINST THE WARNING PATH!
AMAZING OVER-THE-SHOULDER CATCH!
HAULS IT IN, THE CROWD GOES WILD.
YOU TIP YOUR HAT TO MOM AND ME.
WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER? TELL YOUR MOTHER. GINNY!
HOLD ON, DAD!
TELL YOUR MOTHER!
DAD, RELAX!
GINNY! OH, BILLY!
DAD, RELAX, RELAX!
I'LL CALL BUD SCOTT!
NO! NO! YOU GOT TO BE MUCH COOLER.
I KNOW!
HI. WHO WON?
WE DID!
BILLY STOLE HOME TO WIN IT!
OH, MY GOD! THAT'S WONDERFUL!
BUD SCOTT, THE PHILLIES' TOP SCOUT,
WANTS BILLY TO PLAY FOR HIM THIS SUMMER!
NO! OH, MY--OH!
HEY, MOM, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
ROAST BEEF, MASHED POTATOES, AND PEAS.
COME ON. ONE MORE.
THERE WE GO.
NICE.
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOOD TO CENTER. ONE TO THE LEFT.
DAD, YOU SURE YOU'RE OK?
ONE TO LEFT!
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH!
WOO!
YEAH! NICE!
ONE MORE.
YEAH! ALL RIGHT! YEAH!
UP AGAINST THE WALL!
WAIT A MINUTE. WORLD SERIES.
THE PHILLIES AND THE YANKS.
THE PHILLIES UP BY 1. BUNNING TAKES THE MOUND.
3-2 COUNT.
BASES LOADED.
BOTTOM OF THE NINTH!
CHECKS THIRD. THE WIND-UP.
STRIKE 3! YES!
THE PHILLIES WIN THE SERIES!
FIRST TIME IN HISTORY!
GIVE DALRYMPLE THAT GAME BALL!
WOO!
FIRST TIME EVER.
I GOT TO DRIVE TO LONG ISLAND TOMORROW.
YOU WANT TO COME?
I PROMISED APPLEBY I'D PLAY GOLF WITH HIM.
CAN I COME NEXT TIME?
YEAH, SURE.
OH, HI.
NIGHT-NIGHT.
HA HA HA!
BILLY, HI.
HI, ROBIN.
COME ON IN.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?
UH, SURE. PEPSI?
HELLO, BILLY!
HELLO, MRS. PARKS!
I'D COME DOWN AND SAY HI,
BUT I LOOK A MESS.
THAT'S OK.
THANKS.
MM-HMM.
SO HOW'S IT GOING?
ALL RIGHT. HOW'S SCHOOL?
IT'S OK.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
YEAH?
YEAH.
SO DO YOU.
YEAH?
YEAH.
LISTEN, UH... YOU KNOW ALAN APPLEBY, RIGHT?
YEAH...
HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
I GOT ONE.
I MEAN A RUM DRINK.
BILLY, HONEY, IF YOU'RE HUNGRY,
I THINK THERE'S SOME LEFTOVER MEAT LOAF IN THE FRIDGE.
THAT'S OK, MRS. PARKS. I'VE ALREADY EATEN.
WELL, HOW ABOUT SOMETHING TO DRINK?
I THINK ROBIN'S TAKING CARE OF THAT, THANK YOU.
WELCOME HOME.
YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME MUSIC?
SURE, I GUESS.
I GOT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT ALAN APPLEBY
BECAUSE HE ASKED ME TO COME OVER HERE
AND ASK YOU IF YOU WANTED TO GO
TO THE CARLTON PROM WITH HIM.
DID YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU
SINCE THIRD GRADE?
REALLY?
YEAH.
HMM.
* SHA LA LA LA LA *
* IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU SMILE *
* THAT TOUCHED MY HEART *
* SHA LA LA LA LA *
* IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU KISS *
* THAT TEARS ME APART *
* OH, OH, OH, MANY, MANY NIGHTS ROLL BY *
* I SIT ALONE AT HOME AND CRY *
* OVER YOU *
* WHAT CAN I DO? *
* I CAN'T HELP MYSELF *
* WHEN, BABY, IT'S YOU *
COME HERE.
* SHA LA LA LA LA LA *
* BABY, IT'S YOU *
* SHA LA LA LA LA LA *
* SHA LA LA LA LA-- *
HONEY, THE RECORD IS STUCK.
SORRY.
JESUS, YOUR MOTHER CAN COME DOWN HERE ANY MINUTE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY MOTHER.
BESIDES, I CAME HERE TO GET ALAN A DATE.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT ALAN ANYMORE.
OK.
* SHA LA LA LA LA *
* IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU SMILE *
* THAT TOUCHED MY HEART *
* SHA LA LA LA LA *
* IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU KISS *
* THAT TEARS ME APART *
* OH, OH, OH *
* MANY, MANY NIGHTS ROLL BY *
* I SIT ALONE AT HOME AND CRY *
* OVER YOU *
* WHAT CAN I DO? *
* I CAN'T HELP MYSELF *
* WHEN BABY, IT'S YOU *
* SHA LA LA LA LA LA LA *
* BABY, IT'S YOU *
* SHA LA LA LA LA LA LA *
* SHA LA LA LA LA *
* YOU SHOULD HEAR WHAT THEY SAY... **
ROBIN? DO YOU KNOW WHERE TODAY'S NEWSPAPER IS?
IT'S ON THE BREAKFAST TABLE.
I'M GOING TO CALL THAT BOY AND...
We got to stop. We got to stop.
Jesus, Jesus. We got to...
I PUT IT OUT TO DRY,
AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.
I THINK IT WAS OUT ON THE PORCH.
WAIT A MINUTE. HERE IT IS.
ON THE TELEPHONE TABLE.
HONESTLY.
IF MY HEAD WASN'T ATTACHED, I'D LOSE THAT, TOO.
WELL. OK. GOOD NIGHT, YOU TWO.
GOOD NIGHT, MRS. PARKS!
* SHA LA LA LA LA LA **
IT'S A COOL PENDANT. CAN I HAVE IT?
SURE.
AM I GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN?
YEAH.
I MEAN, UH, SURE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS SUMMER?
NOTHING. JUST HANGING AROUND.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
PLAYING PRO BALL DOWN IN FLORIDA.
GREAT.
WELL, UH...
THANKS FOR THE PEPSIS...
AND EVERYTHING.
WOO!
WOOO!
HEY, BILL!
HEY, BILL.
DEAD CENTER. PERFECT.
SORRY I'M LATE.
DIDN'T MATTER.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
GOOD.
SEE ROBIN LAST NIGHT?
OH, YEAH.
DID YOU MENTION THE PROM?
UH, NO.
DID YOU MENTION ME?
ALAN, I COULDN'T--
YOU HAD SEX WITH MY PROM DATE.
APPLEBY, I'LL TALK TO HER TONIGHT.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE MORE SEX WITH HER?
I DIDN'T TOUCH HER.
DON'T LIE TO ME, BILL.
YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
I DIDN'T TOUCH HER.
I ASKED YOU TO DO ME ONE LITTLE FAVOR,
AND NOW YOU LIE TO ME.
YOU HAD SEX WITH MY PROM DATE.
YOU...
HAD...
SEX...
WITH...
MY PROM DATE!
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT'S WRONG?
YOUR FATHER'S BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT.
HE'S DEAD, ISN'T HE?
I REMEMBER. IT'S LITERALLY POURING OUTSIDE,
AND SAM, IN A PANIC, PULLS THE CAR OVER.
HE LEAPS OUT AND SPRINTS TO THIS CHURCH.
HE'S HOLDING THE SEAT OF HIS PANTS.
HE DISAPPEARS BEHIND THE CHURCH, AND THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER.
AND NOW ALL THE PEOPLE
ARE SCREAMING AT HIM AT THE CHURCH.
AND SAM YELLS AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS,
"DO YOU HAVE ANY TOILET PAPER,
KLEENEX, OR ANYTHING?"
GINNY YELLS BACK,
"NO, DARLING.
"WHY DON'T YOU USE SOME OF THOSE WET NEW ENGLAND LEAVES
YOU DRAGGED US UP HERE TO SEE?"
YOU KNOW,
SAM AND I GO TO THE PIER EVERY YEAR.
DID YOU KNOW THAT'S WHERE WE FIRST MET?
I WAS 18.
I WAS STAYING WITH MY PARENTS.
OH, GOD. HE WAS A CHARMER.
HE WAS GOOD-LOOKING AND FUNNY.
THE BEST-DRESSED MAN I HAD EVER SEEN.
WE HAD OUR HONEYMOON RIGHT THERE,
AND EVERY YEAR SINCE WE ALWAYS GO BACK.
GOING TO THE PIER EVERY YEAR
IS JUST SOMETHING THAT WE ALWAYS DO.
LET'S GO FOR A RIDE.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I USED TO LOVE TO GO SWIMMING
IN MY GRANDFATHER'S POOL,
BUT I WAS SCARED OF THE DEEP END.
ONCE WHEN I WAS ABOUT 8 OR 9,
I WENT OVER TO THE POOL
AND DOVE ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM.
I TOUCHED THE DRAIN.
IT WAS ALL SLIMY AND GREEN WITH MOSS.
I FIGURED IT WOULD JUST SUCK ME IN,
AND IT DIDN'T, AND I SWAM
ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP,
BROKE CLEAN OUT OF THE WATER.
I FELT GREAT.
YEAH?
YEAH.
EVERY TIME SOMETHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN--
LOSE A DOG OR...
I'D GET IN A FIGHT WITH GRACE
OR I GOT KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL--
I'D GO OVER TO THE POOL
AND I'D TOUCH THE DRAIN.
IT ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL BETTER.
WANT TO TOUCH THE DRAIN?
WHEN?
NOW.
YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT DOWN A LITTLE BIT.
WHY?
MY GRANDFATHER DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE.
WHOSE POOL IS THIS?
I DON'T KNOW.
COME ON, KIDDO.
AH HA!
FEEL BETTER?
I GUESS.
MOM?
HEY, MOM. HO.
WELL, THERE YOU ARE.
HI.
MY BABY SISTER.
WHEN'S THE BABY DUE?
TWO MONTHS.
WHERE WILL YOU LIVE?
HERE. ON THE THIRD FLOOR.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
THAT'S PERFECT.
MOM, CAN I MOVE IN HERE WITH YOU?
IF YOU MOVE IN, I'M MOVING OUT.
THAT MUST BE HANK AND GRACE.
HI.
THANK YOU.
HANK.
HI.
HI, BILLY.
HANK.
IT'S BEEN A WHILE, HUH?
WHY DON'T WE GO INTO THE LIVING ROOM?
GRACE WASN'T UP TO COMING OVER.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?
I'M FINE.
BILLY, UM,
KATIE LEFT A WILL.
SHE WANTED HER BODY TO BE CREMATED,
AND SHE WANTED YOU TO BE RESPONSIBLE
FOR HER ASHES.
DID SHE SAY
WHAT SHE WANTED ME TO DO WITH THEM?
NO. I GUESS SHE JUST THOUGHT YOU'D KNOW.
I DON'T.
WELL, IF IT'S ANY HELP TO YOU,
GRACE AND I WOULD LIKE
A MEMORIAL SERVICE AT ST. THOMAS',
AND WE WOULD LIKE HER ASHES BURIED THERE.
WHEN KATIE CAME BACK FROM EUROPE
AFTER HER SECOND MARRIAGE HAD FAILED,
I KNEW SHE WASN'T A HAPPY WOMAN,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO HELP.
SHE AND GRACE STARTED FIGHTING AGAIN,
SO SHE GOT IN HER OLD VOLKSWAGEN,
DROVE DOWN TO SEASMOKE,
AND DECIDED TO LIVE THERE YEAR-ROUND.
I WANTED TO SEE HOW SHE WAS DOING.
LAST SUNDAY I DROVE DOWN THERE.
I WALKED IN THE HOUSE.
I CALLED HER NAME. SHE DIDN'T ANSWER.
I THOUGHT SHE WAS OUT TAKING A WALK.
I POURED MYSELF A DRINK,
AND THEN I WENT INTO THE BEDROOM.
THERE SHE WAS,
LYING ON THE BED, ALL CURLED UP LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.
I THOUGHT SHE WAS ASLEEP.
WELL,
UH, I GOT TO GET BACK TO GRACE.
BILLY, YOU THINK ABOUT ST. THOMAS', OK?
YEAH.
Jesus.
MOM.
MMM?
HEY.
WHAT?
I'M LEAVING.
BUT YOU JUST GOT HOME.
YEAH. I KNOW, BUT I GOT TO GO.
WHAT ABOUT KATIE?
KATIE?
YEAH. RIGHT.
THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
I LEFT HER URN IN MY CLOSET,
AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU...
MAYBE, UH...
COULD TAKE CARE OF IT FOR ME.
KATIE WANTED YOU TO DO THAT.
YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHO BURIES HER?
COME ON.
SHE'S DEAD, RIGHT? IT'S JUST ASHES.
OF COURSE IT MATTERS.
IT'S KATIE'S ASHES.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DO KNOW SHE LEFT HER ASHES TO YOU.
NOT TO HANK, NOT TO GRACE, NOT TO ANYBODY ELSE.
BILL, YOU CAN'T WALK AWAY FROM THIS.
MM-HMM.
GREAT.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I DON'T KNOW.
FOR A DRIVE, I GUESS.
AND YOU'RE COMING BACK?
YEAH.
THAT SUMMER AFTER DAD DIED,
WE STAYED DOWN AT SEASMOKE.
HEY, BILL.
TOMORROW'S THE 4th OF JULY.
WE NEED DATES.
IT'S A WELL-KNOWN FACT
THAT WOMEN TEND TO PUT OUT MORE ON THE 4th OF JULY
THAN ON ANY OTHER NIGHT OF THE YEAR.
SPEAKING OF DATES, BILL,
I'LL ASK YOU ONE LAST TIME.
DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH MY PROM DATE?
SHE WAS NEVER YOUR PROM DATE.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAD SEX WITH HER, BILL.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY GUY
WITH FEELINGS FOR ROBIN PARKS.
FEELINGS FOR?
YOU JUST ADMITTED IT. YOU HAD SEX WITH HER.
APS, WOULD YOU CALM DOWN?
I'M NOT ADMITTING ANYTHING.
WHO'S THAT WOMAN?
I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK THAT'S THE LADY
WHO'S RENTING THE CHANDLER COTTAGE.
NO. THAT'S THE LADY WHO WILL BEAR MY CHILDREN.
AP, SHE'S WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.
EAT MY DUST, PAL.
WHY RUSH IT?
I'M GOING TO MAKE HER BEG.
I WANT A DATE WITH ONE OF THOSE JERSEY GIRLS, BILL.
I LOVE JERSEY GIRLS.
THEY WEAR BLACK BRAS AND WHITE LIPSTICK.
WHEN THEY FRENCH KISS YOU,
I BET THEY PUT THEIR BUBBLE GUM
IN YOUR MOUTH.
THEY'LL LET US SNIFF THEM ALL OVER.
APS, YOU'VE GOT A BIG PROBLEM.
YEAH, BILL, I DO.
BILL, HER LIGHTS ARE ON.
THERE SHE IS.
OH, GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
DAMN IT.
COME ON, LET'S GO, APS.
IT'S OVER.
YEAH. YEAH, I THINK I'LL STICK AROUND HERE FOR A BIT.
APPLEBY, YOU'RE SO SICK.
I KNOW THAT.
DON'T LEAVE YET.
OK.
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
DOOBIE EPSTEIN.
DOOBIE EPSTEIN IS HIS NAME?
YEAH.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I'M NOT KIDDING.
HE'S THE MOST COMPLEX MAN I'VE EVER MET.
GRACE HATES HIM, OF COURSE.
HE'S NOT A LAWYER OR BANKER
OR SOMETHING SO PRACTICAL AND NAUSEATING
YOU JUST WANT TO SLASH YOUR WRISTS.
I'M MEETING HIM IN NEW YORK
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
WE'LL ELOPE AND MOVE TO EUROPE.
YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?
YEAH.
WHY?
WHY NOT?
WHAT WILL YOU DO AFTER THAT?
WE'LL GO EVERYWHERE. WE'LL DO EVERYTHING.
WE'LL GO TO PAMPLONA AND RUN WITH THE BULLS.
WE'LL GO TO PARIS, HANG OUT AT THE LEFT BANK,
TALK ABOUT EXISTENTIALISM AND REVOLUTION.
IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM.
YOU MEAN LIKE YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THAT GUY
JUST BECAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE MONTGOMERY CLIFT?
HE DIDN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE MONTGOMERY CLIFT.
OR THE PROFESSOR WHO WANTED TO TAKE YOU TO TIBET.
I DIDN'T GO.
OR THE LIFEGUARD, HAD REALLY GREAT BREATH.
SHUT UP. HE'S DIFFERENT.
THIS GUY'S DIFFERENT.
HE'S DIFFERENT.
GREAT. THAT'S GREAT.
HEY, YOU OK?
IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING'S ALL NORMAL
EXCEPT...
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANY OF IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
WELL, WELCOME TO THE CLUB, KIDDO.
HEY, WHERE'S YOUR PENDANT?
I GAVE IT TO SOME GIRL.
YOU GAVE IT--
WHO?
ROBIN PARKS.
WHY?
SHE ASKED ME FOR IT.
WERE YOU DATING HER?
NO.
IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?
NO.
SPIT IT OUT.
I WENT TO GET A DATE FOR APPLEBY FOR THE PROM.
SHE ASKED ME FOR IT, SO I GAVE IT TO HER.
YOU GAVE IT TO SOME GIRL YOU BARELY KNOW?
YOU'RE MARRYING SOME GUY YOU BARELY KNOW.
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
I GAVE YOU THAT PENDANT FOR LIFE.
THIS IS DIFFERENT, TOO.
I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO HER.
WAY TO GO, BILLY.
WAY TO GO.
YOU STILL SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN IT TO HER.
I KNOW.
HOW WAS IT?
IT WAS GREAT.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'D NEVER DONE IT BEFORE, ACTUALLY.
I PROBABLY WASN'T LIKE GOOD OLD DOOBIE.
PROBABLY NOT.
OH, NO.
OH, YES.
OH, I LOVE YOU.
OH, NO.
PLEASE, GOD.
TURN THE LIGHT BACK ON.
* HEY, MR. POSTMAN... *
THAT'S IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK YOU NEED?
MORE MARTINIS.
RIGHT.
YES.
* OH, YEAH... *
TELL ME ONE MORE TIME.
I CAN'T GET THE HIPS RIGHT.
SEE, YOU GOT IT.
* POISON IVY *
* LATE AT NIGHT WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPIN' *
* POISON IVY COME A-CREEPIN' ALL AROUND **
* SHE'S AS PRETTY AS A DAISY *
* BUM BA BUM BA BA *
* BUT LOOK OUT, MAN, SHE'S CRAZY *
* BUM BA BUM BA BA *
* SHE'LL REALLY DO YOU IN *
* BUM BA BUM BA BA *
* IF YOU LET HER GET UNDER YOUR SKIN *
* POISON IVY *
* POISON IVY **
* PLEASE, MR. POSTMAN, LOOK AND SEE... *
AHH!
OHH!
YOU'RE HOME AGAIN!
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
KATIE HAS HAD A DISASTROUS EFFECT--
NO, I HAVEN'T.
ON YOUR POOR, DEAR INNOCENT MOTHER.
KATIE, WHO ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY I ADORE,
HAS TAUGHT ME THE TWIST.
YEAH.
LOOK AT THAT.
* WAIT A MINUTE, MR. POSTMAN... **
ALAN!
I'LL TWIST. I'LL TWIST.
ALAN APPLEBY.
I HAVE A QUESTION.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MARTINI?
NEVER.
NEVER? OH, MY BOY,
THIS IS THE MOMENT.
CAN I HAVE--
I WANT A SMOKE.
MOM, COME ON.
GET ME A CIGARETTE.
NOW, MY LITTLE TWISTERS, HOME MOVIES.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SEE?
I DON'T KNOW. THERE WAS SOME FILM LEFT IN THE CAMERA.
THINK IT'S A TRAIN MAYBE?
MAYBE IT'LL STOP SOON.
I DOUBT IT.
THERE'S A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
THINK YOU'RE OBSESSED?
I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
BILL, THIS IS THE DAY YOU STOLE HOME.
RIGHT. RIGHT. RIGHT.
THERE'S A COUPLE OF STUDS FOR YOU.
AW, LOOK.
HELLO! HELLO.
I SHOT THIS!
THOSE GIRLS LOVED ME.
IN YOUR DREAMS.
OH, THANK YOU.
THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE REALLY GOOD AT TENNIS, TOO.
YOU SHOT ENOUGH FILM OF THEM, ALAN.
* SHERRY *
* SHERRY, BABY *
* SHERRY *
SHE'S A GODDESS.
GO TALK TO HER.
I CAN'T.
* SHERRY, BABY *
YOU BETTER.
TOMORROW WE'RE LEAVING.
I KNOW.
I HAVE TO WORK FOR THE DINK.
WHAT A NIGHTMARE.
ARE YOU GOING TO PLAY FOR BUD SCOTT THIS SUMMER OR WHAT?
NAH. I'M THROUGH WITH BASEBALL.
HEY! SHE'S LOOKING AT YOU.
SHE IS?
GO AHEAD, ALAN. MAKE YOUR MOVE.
SHE WANTS YOU.
I'M A WOMAN. I KNOW THESE THINGS.
* TO MY TWIST PARTY *
OH, BOY.
* WHERE THE BRIGHT MOON SHINES *
* COME ON *
* WE'LL DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY *
* I'M GONNA MAKE YOU MI-I-INE *
* SHE-E-RRY... *
HI.
I'M, UH, I'M ALAN APPLEBY.
YOU HAVE PEANUT BUTTER ON THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH.
OH, GOD.
YOU'RE THE BOY WHO WATCHES ME EVERY NIGHT.
NO. NO. I--
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I LIKE IT.
I MISSED YOU LAST NIGHT.
I WAS THERE, REALLY.
HA HA! I KNOW. I WAS ONLY KIDDING.
HO. HO HO!
KIDDING.
CAN YOU MAKE IT TONIGHT?
UM, LET ME SEE WHAT MY PLANS ARE.
YEAH. I CAN MAKE IT TONIGHT.
GREAT. I'LL MAKE IT SPECIAL.
SPECIAL.
OH, MY GOD.
* YOU MAKE ME LOSE MY MIND *
* SHE-E-RRY *
BYE.
* BABY *
* SHERRY, BABY *
* SHERRY, CAN YOU COME OUT TONIGHT? *
* COME, COME... **
HELLO?
IT'S ME.
ALAN APPLEBY.
HELLO.
COME ON IN.
I GUESS I COULD HAVE USED THE DOOR.
HI.
COME HERE.
RIGHT.
OH. FOR YOU.
THANK YOU.
HOW SWEET.
SIT DOWN.
WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
YEAH.
WOULD YOU PUT SOME OF THIS ON MY SHOULDERS?
SURE.
I'D, UH, LOVE TO DO THAT.
IS THAT ABOUT WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND?
MMM.
IT'S LOVELY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME.
LESLIE.
LESLIE JORDAN.
IT'S, UH...
VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, LESLIE JORDAN.
OH, BOY.
THIS IS--
THIS IS--OH, GOD!
YOU KNOW, I WAS TALKING TO MY FRIEND BILL WYATT
JUST THE OTHER DAY
THAT IF I COULD DO WHAT I'M DOING RIGHT NOW,
I'D BE HAPPY.
YEAH. THIS DEFINITELY MAKES MY SUMMER.
THEN THIS SHOULD MAKE YOUR WHOLE YEAR.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT'S HOPE DOING UP?
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
WE WENT TO THE STORE.
WE JUST STOPPED FOR A DRINK.
YOU'RE DRUNK.
WHO'S THIS GUY?
IT'S FRANK.
PICKING UP GUYS IN BARS?
STOP IT NOW!
LEAVE NOW!
BILLY!
OH!
STOP IT, GUYS!
STOP IT!
COME ON!
NO, BILLY!
SHUT UP, BILLY!
JUST STOP IT!
BILLY.
BILLY!
BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
GET OUT OF HERE! YOU MAKE ME SICK!
MY DAD'S BEEN DEAD TWO MONTHS,
AND YOU'RE GETTING MOM DRUNK AND PICKING UP GUYS.
I'LL BRING HOME ANYBODY I WANT.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY KID WHO LOST HIS FATHER.
SHE LOST HER HUSBAND!
IF I CAN GIVE HER A LAUGH, I WILL.
THEN MAKE HER ANOTHER DRINK!
FUCK YOU, KATIE!
MOM?
I'M NOT GOING TO GO HOME TODAY.
OH, UH, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
STAY WITH KATIE, I GUESS.
OH. IS IT BECAUSE OF LAST NIGHT?
NO.
I--I'M SO SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
I HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
WHAT I DID WAS WRONG,
BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING.
I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU, NEVER HURT THIS FAMILY.
IT'S YOU AND ME AND HOPE NOW.
THAT IS ALL WE HAVE,
BUT WE'RE GOING TO BE OK.
OK?
I JUST KEEP THINKING DAD'S AWAY ON A BUSINESS TRIP,
HE'S GONNA COME BACK.
HMM.
I KNOW.
WHAT CAN I SAY, WILLIAM?
I CAME HERE A BOY, AND I'M LEAVING A MAN.
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, APS.
BE PATIENT. YOUR TIME WILL COME.
IT'S WORTH THE WAIT. BYE, BILL.
BYE, APS.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'VE GOT TO MEET WITH SAM'S LAWYER
TOMORROW MORNING.
IT'S ALL RIGHT ABOUT BILLY STAYING?
YEAH.
BYE. BYE, BILLY.
BYE, MOM.
* CAN YOU GO BACK IN TIME *
* TO A PLACE IN YOUR MIND? *
* TO THE ONE WHO KNEW A PART OF YOU *
* THAT YOU JUST COULDN'T FIND *
* IF YOU ASK ME TO CHOOSE *
* BETWEEN A MEMORY OR TWO *
* WHEN IT'S SAID AND DONE *
* I'LL TAKE THE ONE *
* WHOSE LOVE I HAD TO LOSE *
* 'CAUSE WHEN *
* SHE DANCED *
* I LOST MY INNOCENCE *
* I LOVED HER THEN *
* I ALWAYS WILL *
* SHE LEFT *
* IT'S STILL *
* WITH ME *
* A BURNIN' MEMORY *
* SHE TOOK WITH HER *
* PART OF ME *
* CAN YOU GO BACK IN TIME *
* TO A PLACE IN YOUR MIND? *
* TO THE ONE WHO KNEW A PART OF YOU *
* THAT YOU JUST COULDN'T FIND *
* LOOKIN' BACK, I'M NOT SURE *
* IF I WON OR LOST THE WAR *
* WHEN SHE DANCED WITH ME *
* OUR HEARTS WERE FREE *
* AS FAR AS I COULD SEE *
* WHEN SHE DANCED WITH ME *
* OUR HEARTS WERE FREE *
* AS FAR AS I COULD SEE **
I GOT TO GO.
PROMISE ME SOMETHING, HUH?
WHAT?
YOU'RE GOING TO CALL UP BUD SCOTT,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO START PLAYING AGAIN.
YOU'RE A BALL PLAYER, THAT'S WHO YOU ARE.
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU?
I DON'T KNOW. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
GET MY PENDANT BACK.
I WILL.
I LOVE YOU, BILLY BOY.
THAT'S THE LAST TIME I EVER SAW HER.
APPLEBY!
BILL!
HEY, BILL.
HEY, AP.
HOW YOU DOIN'?
NYAH.
HEARD ABOUT KATIE, HUH?
YEAH.
UNBELIEVABLE.
WANT TO GET DRUNK?
SURE.
* ...COMES A-CREEPIN' AROUND *
* WELL, MEASLES MAKE YOU JUMPY *
* THE MUMPS WILL MAKE YOU LUMPY *
* THE CHICKEN POX WILL MAKE YOU JUMP AND TWITCH *
* THE WHOOPING COUGH WILL COOL YOU *
* THE COMMON COLD WILL FOOL YOU *
* BUT POISON IVY, LORD, WILL MAKE YOU ITCH *
* GONNA TAKE AN OCEAN *
* BUM BA BUM BA BA *
* OF CALAMINE LOTION *
* BUM BA BUM BA BA *
* YOU'LL BE SCRATCHING LIKE A HOUND *
* BUM BA BUM BA BA *
* THE MINUTE YOU START TO MESS AROUND *
* POISON IVY *
* POISON IVY **
DO YOU SEE THAT, BILL?
YOU KNOW, I'M A PAN KIND OF GUY MYSELF.
NOT THAT HAIRY IN THE HAUNCHES,
BUT THAT COULD BE ME.
WOMEN FLAT-OUT ADORE ME.
NO, THEY DON'T.
BILL, THEY DO. THEY DO.
GRANTED, I'M MARRIED.
I'M A FAITHFUL KIND OF GUY.
I'VE BEEN ALL OVER THE WORLD.
I GET WOMEN, AND WOMEN GET ME.
THAT IS PATHETIC, APPLEBY.
TAKE NEW YORK WOMEN, FOR INSTANCE.
MUCH TOO TOUGH, TOO HARD FOR YOU.
YOU'RE WAY TOO SWEET FOR THEM. FORGET THEM.
PARISIAN WOMEN ON THE OTHER HAND, VERY SOPHISTICATED.
THEY UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE WIFE- MISTRESS THING,
THE NECESSITY OF IT.
I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH. THEY DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH.
BUT WHO CARES WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH WOMEN?
GOOD QUESTION.
YOU'RE PAYING ATTENTION.
ENGLISH WOMEN, MUCH TOO COOL.
THEY DON'T HAVE LUST.
LUST IS AN ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT IN A RELATIONSHIP.
I KNOW THIS FROM EXPERIENCE
BECAUSE MY MARRIAGE HAS NOT A SPECK OF LUST LEFT,
NOT A BIT.
WILL YOU LOOK AT THE BUTT ON THIS NYMPH?
BILL, I'M SO LONELY.
BE MY FRIEND. PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE TOWN AGAIN.
APPLEBY, I GOT A GREAT IDEA.
LET'S GET DRUNK?
WE DID THAT ALREADY.
LET'S PLAY SOME BALL.
PLAY BALL.
BUT FIRST,
WE GOT TO GET INTO OUR UNIFORMS.
UNIFORMS.
* ...WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPIN' *
* POISON IVY COMES A-CREEPIN' ALL AROUND **
YOU KNOW--
WHAT'S THIS?
KATIE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "KATIE"?
IT'S HER ASHES.
SHE PUT IN HER WILL THAT I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR BURYING HER.
THIS IS WEIRD.
WE'RE RIDING AROUND IN KATIE'S CAR,
YOU'VE GOT HER REMAINS IN A JAR,
AND YOU'RE IN YOUR CARLTON UNIFORM.
AND YOU'RE NOT.
IT'S 2:30 A.M., AND MY UNIFORM'S AT THE DINK'S HOUSE.
HELLO, MRS. APPLEBY.
IT'S ME. BILLY WYATT.
WHAT?
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
HI, MR. APPLEBY. BILLY WYATT.
WYATT. WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S LATE, SIR. SORRY.
IT'S 3:00 IN THE GOD DAMN MORNING,
HARDLY A STYLISH HOUR FOR A SOCIAL VISIT.
HOW'S YOUR MOTHER?
VERY WELL, MA'AM.
YOU'RE WEARING YOUR CARLTON UNIFORM?
YES, SIR, I AM.
THIS IS TOTALLY INSANE.
HOW CAN WE HELP YOU?
MA'AM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE ALAN'S CARLTON UNIFORM IS?
I BELIEVE IT'S IN THE HALL CLOSET.
WHAT ARE YOU, A MANIAC?
LOOKING FOR ALAN'S UNIFORM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
SIR, I'M AS DISGUSTED WITH MY BEHAVIOR AS YOU ARE.
ALAN SAID IT WAS OK.
HOW IS ALAN?
HE'S JUST FINE.
WHY DON'T I HELP YOU FIND THAT UNIFORM?
THANK YOU, MA'AM.
STOP ACTING AS IF WE'RE AT THE CRICKET CLUB
HAVING FROZEN DAIQUIRIS.
OH, MAN.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
NICE SEEING YOU BOTH.
GOOD NIGHT, MRS. APPLEBY.
GOOD NIGHT, BILLY.
GOOD NIGHT, DINK.
DINK?
JUST WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
OH, NATHAN, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES.
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN CALLING YOU THE DINK
FOR YEARS.
THEY HAVE?
YOU FOUND MY UNIFORM.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW HOW.
PIECE OF CAKE. LET'S PLAY SOME BALL.
IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
WE NEED A FIELD WITH LIGHTS.
BILL, BE MY FRIEND. DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS.
APS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
THIS IS BREAKING AND ENTERING.
THIS IS A MAJOR FELONY.
THAT MAY NOT MATTER TO YOU
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE DOING THIS LOST GENERATION,
JACK KEROUAC THING,
BUT IT MATTERS TO ME.
I'VE GOT KIDS. I CANNOT AFFORD TO GO TO JAIL.
APPLEBY, JUST DO IT.
OK.
PLAY BALL!
NOW PITCHING,
38-YEAR-OLD ROOKIE OUT OF CARLTON ACADEMY,
ALAN "THE HORSE" APPLEBY.
BILLY WYATT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
ROOKIE PHENOM FOR THE PHILADELPHIA PHILS.
WHAT A SHOT!
HA HA HA!
YOU STILL GOT IT, BILL.
NO, I DON'T, APPLEBY. I'M WAY OUT OF SHAPE.
YOU JUST HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK.
LOOK WHO WAS PITCHING.
PICK UP THE PACE. THE POLICE SHOULD BE HERE ANY SECOND.
APPLEBY, I'M HUNGRY!
ALL RIGHT. BREAKFAST ON ME AT BOB'S.
I'VE WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING FOR A LONG TIME.
ONE MINUTE YOU'RE PLAYING AA, ON YOUR WAY UP.
THEN YOU JUST DROP OUT OF SIGHT.
FORGET IT, APPLEBY.
I'M NOT GOING TO FORGET IT.
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO ASK YOU FOR 14 YEARS.
WE'RE NOT LEAVING THIS DINER UNTIL YOU TELL ME.
WHAT IS IT?
FINE. I'M AT READING.
PHILLIES HUNG THEIR BRASS UP
TO TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT ME AND SCHMIDT.
ONE OF US IS GOING TO THE BIGS.
NINTH INNING, GUY HITS A LAZY FLY BALL OUT TO ME IN CENTER.
I DROPPED IT. WE LOST THE GAME.
EVERYBODY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS A LOSER,
SO I FIGURED I WAS, AND I QUIT.
THAT'S IT.
YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I WORE THIS UNIFORM?
NO.
THE DAY I STOLE HOME.
TO MAKE THE TRAIN.
THEN MY DAD DIED, AND I QUIT BASEBALL.
TODAY DOWN IN SEASMOKE,
I REALIZED IT WAS KATIE WHO GOT ME TO PLAY AGAIN.
WHEN I QUIT IN THE MINORS,
SHE WASN'T AROUND TO BRING ME BACK.
WHEN I WAS 10, SHE GAVE ME THIS PENDANT--
A SILVER BASEBALL ON A CHAIN.
TOLD ME TO WEAR IT TO REMIND ME THAT I WAS A BALL PLAYER.
SHE KNEW BETTER THAN ANYBODY,
ESPECIALLY ME.
WHEN I WASN'T PLAYING THE GAME,
I WAS LOST.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, APS.
IN THE PAST 14 YEARS,
I'VE BEEN ONE LOST SON OF A BITCH.
THING IS, IF THAT WERE ME,
SHE'D HAVE FOUND OUT WHAT TO DO BY NOW
AND WOULD HAVE DONE IT.
DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
YEAH?
YEAH.
WHERE'S THE PENDANT?
I GAVE IT TO ROBIN PARKS.
WHY'D YOU DO THAT, BILL?
I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO HER.
I KNEW IT 20 YEARS AGO!
YOU HAD SEX WITH MY PROM DATE.
SHE WAS NEVER YOUR PROM DATE.
HOW WAS SHE?
ARE YOU KIDDING? SHE WAS HOT.
A LITTLE HOT? MEDIUM HOT? EXTREMELY HOT?
EXTREMELY HOT.
WELL, EXTREMELY HOT. WELL, THAT'S IT.
I'LL JUST KILL MYSELF.
I'M SORRY, APPLEBY.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
ROBIN PARKS STILL LIVES HERE
IN THE HOUSE SHE GREW UP IN,
AND SHE'S DIVORCED.
I'VE BEEN BIDING MY TIME,
WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT TO LEAVE TRIPPY AND THE KIDS.
BUT NOT ANYMORE BECAUSE FROM THIS MOMENT ON,
ROBIN PARKS IS A COMPLETE SLUT!
THERE, I'VE SAID IT, I'M FREE OF HER.
SHE'S ALL YOURS, BILL.
NICE.
I GOT IT!
I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER ASHES.
DOWN HERE IS GRANDFATHER CHANDLER'S POOL.
WHENEVER KATIE WAS FEELING BAD,
SHE WOULD TOUCH THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL.
IT MADE HER FEEL BETTER.
IT'S GONE.
GO HOME. GET SOME SLEEP.
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
YOU'LL GET IT.
WHAT ABOUT BURYING HER IN SEASMOKE?
I ALREADY THOUGHT OF THAT.
IT'S WRONG.
THAT'S WHERE SHE KILLED HERSELF.
I'LL COME BY LATER. WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
IT'S OK. I KNOW WHAT TO DO.
HI, HANK.
BILLY.
CAN I TALK TO YOU?
YEAH. COME ON IN.
HANK WAS UPSTAIRS GETTING GRACE.
I WAS ABOUT TO GIVE KATIE'S ASHES
BACK TO HER PARENTS,
THE LAST PLACE SHE WANTED TO GO.
ALL THEY DID WAS DRAG THIS POOR HORSE
UP TO THIS PLATFORM AND PUSH HIM OFF
INTO A TANK OF WATER.
EVERYBODY LAUGHED AND CLAPPED.
I CRIED.
I THOUGHT IT WAS MEAN.
LET'S GO!
THAT'S ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO, BILLY BOY.
I WANT TO LEAP OFF THIS PIER AND FLY HIGH IN THE AIR
AND HANG OUT WITH THE WIND AND DRIFT WITH THE CLOUDS.
AND AT NIGHT, WITH THE SEA WILD,
I'D MEET MY LOVER HIGH ON A CLIFF,
AND WE'D SWOOP DOWN INTO THE OCEAN
AND SWIM ALL THE WAY AND TOUCH THE BOTTOM,
UP THROUGH THE DARK WATER AND BREAK THE SURFACE,
AND THEN WE'D FLY TO JAMAICA
FOR PINA COLADAS.
GOD, I WISH I COULD DO THAT.
HELLO, BILLY.
HI, GRACE.
HOW ARE YOU?
UH...
I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH KATIE'S ASHES.
WHAT ABOUT ST. THOMAS'?
I'M SORRY, GRACE, BUT ST. THOMAS' IS WRONG.
KATIE NEVER WENT TO CHURCH.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF HER.
TRUST ME.
HANK, I'M LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HER.
THANKS.
DOES ROBIN PARKS LIVE HERE?
YOU MEAN MY MOM?
IS SHE HOME?
I THINK SHE'S UPSTAIRS.
ROBIN?
HI. IT'S ME.
BILLY WYATT.
BILLY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?
I CAN'T TELL YOU RIGHT NOW.
UH, DO YOU HAVE MY PENDANT?
WHAT PENDANT?
MY BASEBALL PENDANT.
I GAVE IT TO YOU THAT NIGHT.
REMEMBER?
OH, THAT.
I DON'T KNOW IF I STILL HAVE IT.
UH, IF I DO, IT WOULD BE IN HERE.
BUT I'M NOT...SURE.
THIS?
YEAH.
CAN I HAVE IT BACK?
SURE.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
YEAH?
YEAH.
SO DO YOU.
YEAH?
YEAH.
LISTEN, I'M IN SORT OF A RUSH RIGHT NOW,
BUT CAN I... CALL YOU SOME TIME?
SURE.
GREAT.
WYATT!
YOU'RE PINCH HITTING.
NOW!
BILLY.
ONE RUN WINS IT.
NOW PINCH HITTING FOR COSTNER,
NUMBER 9, BILLY WYATT.
OK, BILL!
GO, BILL!
PLAY BALL!
ROBIN, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHEN WE WERE 16, DID BILL EVER MENTION
THAT I WANTED TO TAKE YOU TO THE PROM?
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
INTERESTING.
GO, BILL!
NICE HIT! GO, BILL!
GREAT! GO! GO! GO!
SAFE!
WAY TO GO, BILL!
ATTA BOY, WYATT.
NOW BATTING FOR THE SPIRITS,
NUMBER 8, GARRETT FINLEY.
SAFE!
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT, BILL!
GREAT GAME, BILL,
JUST GREAT.
I WAS TALKING TO ROBIN BEFORE YOU STOLE HOME.
SHE SAID YOU NEVER MENTIONED
THAT I WANTED TO TAKE HER TO THE PROM.
I DON'T REMEMBER.
I ASKED HER. TRUST ME.
I DON'T TRUST YOU, BILL.
WOO!
* SHE COMES ON LIKE A ROSE *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* BUT EVERYBODY KNOWS *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* SHE'LL GET YOU IN DUTCH *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* WELL, YOU CAN LOOK, BUT YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH *
* POISON IVY *
* LATE AT NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPIN' *
* POISON IVY COMES A-CREEPIN' *
* ALL AROUND *
* SHE'S AS PRETTY AS A DAISY *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* BUT LOOK OUT, MAN, SHE'S CRAZY *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* SHE'LL REALLY DO YOU IN *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* IF YOU LET HER GET UNDER YOUR SKIN *
* POISON IVY *
* WELL, LATE AT NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPIN' *
* POISON IVY COMES A-CREEPIN' *
* ALL AROUND *
* MEASLES MAKE YOU BUMPY *
* THE MUMPS WILL MAKE YOU LUMPY *
* AND CHICKEN POX WILL MAKE YOU JUMP AND TWITCH *
WOO!
* THE COMMON COLD WILL FOOL YOU *
* AND WHOOPING COUGH CAN COOL YOU *
* BUT POISON IVY LOVE WILL MAKE YOU *
* POISON IVY LOVE WILL MAKE YOU *
* POISON IVY LOVE WILL MAKE YOU ITCH *
* YOU'RE GONNA NEED AN OCEAN *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* OF CALAMINE LOTION *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* YOU'LL BE SCRATCHIN' LIKE A HOUND *
* DUM DA DUM DA DUM *
* THE MINUTE YOU START TO MESS AROUND *
* WITH POISON IVY *
* POISON IVY *
* OH, LATE AT NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPIN' *
* POISON IVY COMES A-CREEPIN' *
* ALL AROUND *
* LATE AT NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPIN' *
* POISON IVY COMES A-CREEPIN' *
* ALL AROUND *
WOO!
* NA NA NA NA NA *
* OH *
* NA NA NA NA NA NA *
* OH *
* NA NA NA NA NA NA *
* OH *
* NA NA NA NA NA NA *
* OH *
* NA NA NA NA NA NA *
* OH **
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1988 WARNER BROS., INC.