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It all started when a time-travel
experiment I was conducting...
2
00:00:04,867 --> 00:00:07,802
went... a little caca.
3
00:00:07,870 --> 00:00:11,362
In the blink of a cosmic clock,
I went from quantum physicist...
4
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,807
to air force test pilot,
5
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which could have been fun
if I knew how to fly.
6
00:00:18,347 --> 00:00:22,044
Fortunately, I had help...
an observer from the project named Al.
7
00:00:22,118 --> 00:00:26,555
Unfortunately, Al's a hologram,
so all he can lend is moral support.
8
00:00:26,622 --> 00:00:29,614
Anyway, here I am,
bouncing around in time,
9
00:00:29,692 --> 00:00:31,626
putting things right
that once went wrong...
10
00:00:31,694 --> 00:00:35,721
a sort of time-traveling Lone Ranger
with Al as my Tonto,
11
00:00:35,798 --> 00:00:38,733
and I don't even need a mask.
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Oh, boy.
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Bouncing around in time
can be a little disorienting,
14
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a little taxing on the nerves,
15
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a little jolting to the... equilibrium.
16
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It can also be very rewarding.
17
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Unfortunately, like the Bible says,
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the Lord giveth...
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And the Lord taketh away.
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Not gonna do it.
I want heirs, Tess.
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I want Riata to stay in the family,
to go to my grandsons.
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Well, I don't see that happening, Chance. So
if you're so damn set on disinheriting me...
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if I don't lift up my tail
and act like a brood mare,
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then maybe you should figure out some way to
take the spread with you when the time comes.
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It's all my fault. I raised you
to run this place like a man,
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and now you don't
know how to be a woman.
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That's just fine with me. I never
did take to sashayin' and swoonin'.
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Well, your mama, God rest her soul, she'd
have made a woman of you instead of a cowboy.
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Why can't I be both?
'Cause it ain't natural.
30
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Get married, Tess.
Who do you expect me to marry?
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Ben or Eddie...
32
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or Zeke?
33
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I won't breed with inferior stock,
Chance.
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The man I marry has to be
more of a man than I am.
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Now, daughter, I'm here to tell you.
I don't want to hurt your feelings,
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but any man on this ranch
is more man than you are.
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Bull. Nobody here can keep
up with me, including Wayne.
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Aw, now you're talkin'
like a fool, girl.
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And I'll tell you what. If
there's a man on this ranch
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who can keep up with me for
one week, then I'll marry him.
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But if he can't, then we forget about
this marriage business once and for all.
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Honey, you just overplayed your hand.
I pick.
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No. I pick him.
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I pick...
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Him.
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Tess, you can't be serious.
47
00:04:06,442 --> 00:04:09,536
You said any man on the ranch,
Chance, and a deal's a deal.
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Right, Doc? Right.
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- You go for it, Doc?
- Go for what?
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Marriage, son.
To Tess and 50,000 acres of Riata.
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If you can outride,
out rope and all-around out cowboy me.
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00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,818
- You're kiddin', right?
- This is Texas, son.
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We don't kid about our land,
our women or our livestock.
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- Now, what's the matter with that little pig?
- Uh... Wha...
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- It's hog cholera, ain't it?
- Hog cholera, uh...
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Well, you... you never know with pigs.
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Damn, I was afraid of that. We're gonna
have to shoot the whole mess of'em.
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- Shoot 'em?
- Then burn 'em.
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No, no, no, no, no. You can't...
You can't shoot 'em,
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because I, uh, haven't made
a... a diagnosis yet.
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Uh, okay?
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Well, what do ya say?
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I'll take the pig.
You keep the daughter.
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Well, pick another one.
Nope. It's Doc or nothin'.
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Come on, Tess.
Or nothin', Chance.
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00:05:41,937 --> 00:05:43,928
Doc's a fool.
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Thad and me...
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thad and me
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All he does is chew and chew
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Thad and me
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All he does is
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Baa at me
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Every time I leap,
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I do this song and dance to find
out who I am and where I live.
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00:06:31,787 --> 00:06:35,746
Sometimes... it's hard,
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and sometimes it's easy.
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All he does is baa at me
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00:06:47,436 --> 00:06:51,484
Figuring out the names of everyone I'm
supposed to know is a little tougher,
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especially if they're alone.
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- Hey, Doc.
- Hi, uh, pard.
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What happened to you?
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00:07:00,716 --> 00:07:03,014
Oh, just had a little accident.
83
00:07:03,085 --> 00:07:05,883
Looks like you got us
another patient there.
84
00:07:05,954 --> 00:07:08,512
Yeah, gotta figure out what's
causin' this little guy's runny nose.
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00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:09,801
Think it might be the hog cholera?
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00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:12,350
No, it's not hog chol... cholera.
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Whatever you say, Doc.
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Listen, I fed and watered all the
animals and, uh, cleaned out the cages.
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Thanks, uh, pard.
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00:07:23,071 --> 00:07:27,405
See ya tomorrow, Doc.
Come on, Pard. Let's go.
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00:07:33,282 --> 00:07:35,842
Couldn't you give 'em name tags?
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Or tattoos.
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00:07:41,723 --> 00:07:45,352
Tina's got her name in a tattoo.
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00:07:45,427 --> 00:07:48,260
Course, that wouldn't do you much good,
because it's...
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00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:51,493
It's in a super private part
of her anatomy.
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00:07:52,935 --> 00:07:58,202
Of course, she always thought
you were kind of cute.
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00:07:58,273 --> 00:08:03,575
Uh, Sam, you've never seen
Tina's tattoo, have you?
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00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:21,452
- You didn't answer my question, Sam.
- What?
99
00:08:21,530 --> 00:08:27,196
- Did you ever see Tina's tattoo?
- Are you serious?
100
00:08:27,269 --> 00:08:29,863
You've seen it.
101
00:08:31,273 --> 00:08:36,142
Al, I don't even remember Tina,
let alone her tattoo.
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- You're hiding behind your Swiss cheese brain.
- What the hell is wrong with you?
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Nah, it couldn't be you.
You're stuck here in 1956.
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56's? I'm still a baby. My
sister Kate's not even born yet.
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Who's President, Eisenhower?
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00:08:50,359 --> 00:08:53,590
- Ike Bentenhoff.
- What?
107
00:08:53,662 --> 00:08:55,096
He works in Imaging Control.
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00:08:55,097 --> 00:08:59,396
At the Christmas party, when Lucille and I
slipped off into the energizing chamber...
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00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:01,732
- to... to...
- I know, I know.
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Exchange gifts, that dirty dog took
advantage of my absence to cozy up to Tina.
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00:09:07,743 --> 00:09:12,146
- Tina's cheating on you?
- Can you believe it?
112
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It boggles the mind.
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Come in here, Al.
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00:09:23,158 --> 00:09:25,558
It's like Noah's Ark.
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00:09:25,627 --> 00:09:27,959
Well, this is kinda fun.
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00:09:29,965 --> 00:09:33,264
Oh, listen, Al. You figure out
what I'm here to do?
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Oh, uh, no, I haven't finished
the computation yet.
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Uh, just a second.
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Uh, well, according to Ziggy,
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there's a 72% chance
you're here to cure the pig.
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For a minute I thought I was
here to marry Tess. Huh! Oh.
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00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:56,521
"Oh," what? Oh, oh, well, I haven't
run a number on that yet. Wait.
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Oh, it's not so bad, Sam.
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Uh, there's only a 47% chance
you're gonna marry this girl Tess.
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00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:08,863
- Hey, Al, do pigs like milk?
- Oh, they adore it.
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Do you know what's wrong with this...
with him?
127
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Uh, it's not a him, Sam. It's a girl.
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Trust me, Sam.
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00:10:21,616 --> 00:10:25,677
Runny nose, watery eyes...
130
00:10:25,754 --> 00:10:29,918
Squeaky voice... loud squeaky voice.
131
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,488
I don't know, Al. I don't know...
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00:10:34,563 --> 00:10:38,431
Al. Al, that raccoon can see you.
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Oh, well, almost all animals can see me.
134
00:10:41,803 --> 00:10:44,146
But, you know, there must be
somethin' weird lookin' about me,
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because I seem to intimidate them.
136
00:10:45,907 --> 00:10:48,171
Maybe it's your clothes.
137
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Hey, Al.
Here's a scrapbook on Tess McGill.
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- Look at this.
- What?
139
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:04,120
Well, it-it's Doc's diary.
140
00:11:04,192 --> 00:11:07,593
Correction, it's your diary.
141
00:11:07,662 --> 00:11:10,426
Well, technically it is, but,
142
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I mean, you know,
in reality it's...
143
00:11:13,668 --> 00:11:17,399
Just go ahead
and read the diary, Sam.
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"I saw her today. She was having trouble
getting her prize stallion to mate.
145
00:11:24,045 --> 00:11:26,570
That's a cross we all have to bear...
146
00:11:26,648 --> 00:11:30,345
performance under pressure.
147
00:11:30,419 --> 00:11:33,718
"I wanted to take her in my arms,
to kiss her cheeks, her eyes, her lips,
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"but after all these years,
I'm still dumbstruck in her presence.
149
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Will I ever have the courage
to tell Tess how much I love her?"
150
00:11:40,629 --> 00:11:43,462
Al, Doc's in love with Tess.
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00:11:43,532 --> 00:11:45,796
Uh-oh.
"Uh-oh," what?
152
00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:49,462
Well, uh, there's a 97% probability...
153
00:11:49,538 --> 00:11:53,406
that someone who's been sending
her love letters will marry Tess.
154
00:11:53,475 --> 00:11:58,412
Well, uh, then I'm okay, because this
is a diary. It's not love letters.
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Don't fight it, Sam.
You're here to marry this cowboy.
156
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Uh, boy-girl. Cowgirl. Girl.
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Tess, look here.
158
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Mornin', Doc.
159
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Chance.
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00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:30,942
Does your bein' here
mean we got to shoot 'em?
161
00:12:31,012 --> 00:12:33,003
Shoot 'em?
162
00:12:33,081 --> 00:12:35,982
Oh, uh, no, no. Uh, I haven't
figured out what's wrong with Piggy,
163
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but it's not hog cholera.
Piggy?
164
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That's what I-I... named the little pig.
165
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Piggy.
166
00:12:44,526 --> 00:12:47,188
Then you're here
to take me on, Doc?
167
00:12:47,262 --> 00:12:51,722
That's right, Tess.
I'm here to take you on.
168
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:55,031
Yahoo, boys!
We got us a contest!
169
00:12:59,074 --> 00:13:01,542
Get you in shape.
170
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Come on. Take this, would ya?
Take this thing.
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Easy.
172
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Here, Doc. You don't have to do that. Oh.
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Take that one.
Thanks.
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00:13:20,028 --> 00:13:22,519
First thing my Dad taught me
about mounting an unknown horse...
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00:13:22,597 --> 00:13:27,261
was to look him straight in the eye
and show him who's boss.
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00:13:27,335 --> 00:13:30,862
Then, with a good grip on the reins,
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00:13:30,939 --> 00:13:33,567
mount quickly and take a firm seat.
178
00:13:33,642 --> 00:13:36,543
After that, the rest was easy.
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Uuh!
180
00:13:54,663 --> 00:13:59,430
Hey, Doc! Got a bottle of liniment for
you right here! Get up there!
181
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,730
What the hell's got into you, Doc?
182
00:14:02,804 --> 00:14:06,638
All of Texas knows nobody's ever
ridden Widowmaker, except me.
183
00:14:11,279 --> 00:14:13,270
Ooh!
184
00:14:16,851 --> 00:14:19,752
Hope you don't mind, Doc.
185
00:14:24,025 --> 00:14:26,516
Just a little cowboy humor.
186
00:14:26,595 --> 00:14:29,792
Well, I...
I always liked a good joke.
187
00:14:59,194 --> 00:15:02,561
Ever do any ropin', Doc?
188
00:15:02,631 --> 00:15:04,895
Well, it's been a while.
189
00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:07,434
You, uh, knot your rope to the horn,
or you dally it?
190
00:15:07,502 --> 00:15:10,938
- Dally?
- From the Mex... dale vuelta.
191
00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:12,997
It means to give it a turn.
192
00:15:13,074 --> 00:15:15,668
See, you just take the rope
in your hand like this,
193
00:15:15,744 --> 00:15:18,907
give it a turn
around the horn for leverage.
194
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,313
Easier to release.
195
00:15:22,384 --> 00:15:25,319
It's your turn, Doc. You up to it?
196
00:15:25,387 --> 00:15:28,914
Dale... Vuelta.
197
00:15:28,990 --> 00:15:31,891
- Dale vuelta.
- Yeah. Go get 'em.
198
00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:35,795
Yah!
199
00:15:44,305 --> 00:15:46,967
What were you two palaverin' about?
200
00:15:47,042 --> 00:15:50,534
Oh, I was just, uh,
showin' him how to dally his rope.
201
00:16:10,298 --> 00:16:14,234
You tell him to keep his thumb up?
202
00:16:14,302 --> 00:16:17,396
Wayne, if he's not careful
that rope will jerk his thumb off.
203
00:16:17,472 --> 00:16:19,838
You wanna win this contest or not?
204
00:16:21,242 --> 00:16:24,700
Now, I'm tellin' you somethin'.
The main mistake you're makin' is...
205
00:16:24,779 --> 00:16:27,247
pick one and stay on him, patient.
206
00:16:27,315 --> 00:16:31,411
Even if another one is closer,
don't go after this'un and after that'un.
207
00:16:31,486 --> 00:16:36,082
Pick one and stay with that one.
Now go try it again. Go on.
208
00:16:36,157 --> 00:16:39,923
Whoo! Yeah!
209
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,476
Gosh, Doc. Didn't I tell you
to keep your thumb up?
210
00:16:55,543 --> 00:16:57,977
- No!
- I'm sorry.
211
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,441
God!
212
00:17:01,516 --> 00:17:05,282
I guess I'll just have to...
grow a new one.
213
00:17:08,656 --> 00:17:11,648
Heh! Just a little
cowboy humor there, Wayne.
214
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,887
Yeah. Giddap!
215
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:44,688
Where you goin', Doc?
216
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:48,957
Oh, I just... I thought I might
go home and have a hot bath,
217
00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:54,093
eat a little supper, have a hot
bath... Well, we got business in town.
218
00:17:54,169 --> 00:17:57,866
There's a buyer interested in one of our prize
bulls, and if you intend to run Riata with me,
219
00:17:57,939 --> 00:18:01,272
- I think maybe you better come along.
- Without a bath?
220
00:18:01,342 --> 00:18:03,674
You got it, cowboy.
221
00:18:03,745 --> 00:18:06,646
Bonanza was never like this.
222
00:18:20,728 --> 00:18:22,889
Wayne, I want a good hand.
223
00:18:22,964 --> 00:18:25,125
Yeah, I know you do.
224
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,192
Now, Orly, you weren't serious
when you offered 6,000...
225
00:18:28,269 --> 00:18:31,397
for my prize-winnin' bull,
were you?
226
00:18:31,472 --> 00:18:36,842
I heard rumors that bull's gone the way
of Hollywood, if you know what I mean.
227
00:18:36,911 --> 00:18:42,076
Not true, Orly. Hell, half my
heifers are fightin'to get near him,
228
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:45,347
and the other half
just sit back and admire his work.
229
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:48,981
Now, don't ya think 7,500
would be a more Christian offer?
230
00:18:49,057 --> 00:18:50,991
Hmm.
231
00:18:52,727 --> 00:18:55,924
No, thanks.
I'll just stick with beer.
232
00:18:55,997 --> 00:18:59,143
Part of bein' a cowboy is bein' able to hold
your liquor while you're holdin' your cards.
233
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:01,226
I said, no, thank you.
And I said drink it.
234
00:19:01,302 --> 00:19:02,701
- Wayne!
- What?
235
00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:05,830
Back off. Well, ante up, Doc.
236
00:19:05,907 --> 00:19:09,673
You're losin'bad, and I ain't marryin'
no man who can't beat me at poker.
237
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:16,349
Tina and I met
over a poker table...
238
00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:18,408
in Las Vegas.
239
00:19:19,487 --> 00:19:22,752
I had a flush. She had a pair.
240
00:19:23,758 --> 00:19:25,749
Oh, what a pair.
241
00:19:25,827 --> 00:19:29,763
- Gimme two, Wayne.
- She ran out on me, Sam.
242
00:19:29,831 --> 00:19:32,925
She took my second-most-favorite organ...
243
00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:37,028
and stomped it to death
with her four-inch spike heels.
244
00:19:37,105 --> 00:19:41,599
- Coulda been worse.
- You tryin' to bluff us there, Doc?
245
00:19:46,547 --> 00:19:51,143
You'll never guess who she ran off with...
Gooshie.
246
00:19:51,219 --> 00:19:54,052
- Gooshie?
- Gooshie?
247
00:19:54,122 --> 00:19:56,113
Yeah. G-G-Gooshie.
248
00:19:56,190 --> 00:20:00,092
It's, uh, Navajo for...
249
00:20:01,262 --> 00:20:03,253
I'll see ya.
250
00:20:03,331 --> 00:20:06,061
You know,
you're wasting your money, Sam.
251
00:20:06,134 --> 00:20:08,967
Three kings.
He's got a full boat, aces over eights.
252
00:20:09,037 --> 00:20:10,971
Wayne?
253
00:20:11,039 --> 00:20:15,635
Yeah. Two dollars and, uh,
254
00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:17,644
two more.
255
00:20:17,712 --> 00:20:20,078
He's cheating.
256
00:20:20,148 --> 00:20:24,175
He took the best cards from the
last hand, three aces and two eights.
257
00:20:24,252 --> 00:20:26,413
That's what he's got,
aces and eights.
258
00:20:26,487 --> 00:20:27,517
What about it, Doc?
259
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:31,584
You gonna stare into space like a
castrated steer, or are you gonna call me?
260
00:20:31,659 --> 00:20:34,059
- Can't beat a full boat.
- How do you know what I'm holding?
261
00:20:34,095 --> 00:20:36,928
Because you're cheating.
262
00:20:44,739 --> 00:20:47,139
- That's it.
- Hold it, Wayne.
263
00:20:49,711 --> 00:20:51,872
Doc, you better know
what you're sayin'.
264
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:55,939
- I do. Tell them Wayne was palming,
- He was palming,
265
00:20:56,017 --> 00:20:58,008
stacking, shifting,
stacking, shifting...
266
00:20:58,086 --> 00:21:01,385
dealing seconds, dealing base,
dealing sides... cheating.
267
00:21:01,456 --> 00:21:04,050
- Cheating.
- That's why I know...
268
00:21:04,125 --> 00:21:07,788
that... he's got aces and eights.
269
00:21:09,297 --> 00:21:12,858
I got a right to stomp him, Chance.
Not if he's tellin' the truth.
270
00:21:12,934 --> 00:21:15,732
And there's an easy way to find out.
271
00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:23,404
He was cheating, Sam. I swear it.
272
00:21:26,914 --> 00:21:30,570
Uh, Wayne, look, I'm sorry.
I apologize. I just...
273
00:21:30,571 --> 00:21:32,147
That ain't good enough.
274
00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:33,915
Yes, it is.
275
00:21:36,591 --> 00:21:38,559
Buy me a drink, Wayne.
276
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,530
Well, Orly, let's me and you
go talk a little bull. Eh, heh!
277
00:21:49,604 --> 00:21:52,004
I'll hold the money.
278
00:21:54,075 --> 00:21:55,540
Let's get something straight, Wayne.
279
00:21:55,541 --> 00:21:58,512
This is my test, and I'm gonna win it
fair or I'm not gonna win it at all.
280
00:21:58,579 --> 00:22:00,774
You gonna marry Doc?
I ain't marryin' no man.
281
00:22:00,848 --> 00:22:03,749
You are if he wins.
Doc can't out cowboy me.
282
00:22:03,818 --> 00:22:07,015
I don't know, Tess.
There's somethin' different about Doc.
283
00:22:07,088 --> 00:22:09,079
Aces and eights.
284
00:22:10,658 --> 00:22:13,183
That's a dead man's hand,
isn't it... isn't it?
285
00:22:14,395 --> 00:22:17,762
Isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
286
00:22:21,836 --> 00:22:26,500
Ah! Oh!
Turn over Tess's hand.
287
00:22:26,574 --> 00:22:30,874
Forget it, Al. You were wrong.
Sam, turn over Tess's hand.
288
00:22:31,879 --> 00:22:33,870
Come on!
289
00:22:36,017 --> 00:22:38,884
See, I knew it... aces and eights.
290
00:22:38,953 --> 00:22:42,081
He was cheatin'.
He dealt 'em to her so she could beat you.
291
00:22:44,225 --> 00:22:47,092
So that's how she's gonna play it.
292
00:23:03,177 --> 00:23:06,874
You oughta take some salt tablets
and some water.
293
00:23:06,948 --> 00:23:08,939
I ain't thirsty.
294
00:23:11,385 --> 00:23:13,478
No sense killin' yourself.
295
00:23:13,554 --> 00:23:16,352
You're two posts behind,
and there are only three holes left.
296
00:23:16,424 --> 00:23:20,724
- I don't need no help!
- Oh, Women's Lib is gonna love you.
297
00:23:20,795 --> 00:23:23,787
What's that?
Somethin' on the horizon,
298
00:23:23,865 --> 00:23:25,856
like that storm.
299
00:23:27,535 --> 00:23:29,765
We'll beat it. It's an hour off.
300
00:23:37,845 --> 00:23:39,836
Here.
301
00:23:39,914 --> 00:23:41,905
I ain't thirsty.
302
00:23:45,653 --> 00:23:47,814
Tess,
303
00:23:47,889 --> 00:23:50,050
you're pale,
304
00:23:50,124 --> 00:23:54,060
you're hot,
and I'll bet nauseous.
305
00:23:54,128 --> 00:23:57,495
I want you out of the sun.
I ain't no quitter.
306
00:23:57,565 --> 00:23:59,726
Look, nobody said you were.
307
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:04,032
It's just, there's some things that...
that a man can do better than a woman.
308
00:24:04,105 --> 00:24:07,233
There ain't nothin' that
you can do better than me.
309
00:24:07,308 --> 00:24:10,554
And there are some things that a woman can
do better than a man, like havin' babies.
310
00:24:10,578 --> 00:24:15,606
Babies? I ain't havin' no babies.
311
00:24:15,683 --> 00:24:19,363
Isn't that why you're gettin' married, so you
can have children and keep Riata in the family?
312
00:24:19,420 --> 00:24:21,718
I ain't gettin' married.
313
00:24:21,789 --> 00:24:24,724
Well, you are if I can
keep up with you,
314
00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:27,283
and, uh, I figure that
I'm ahead on points.
315
00:24:29,630 --> 00:24:33,225
Come on. Let go of me! I
ain't lettin' no man...
316
00:24:33,301 --> 00:24:35,292
Whoop.
317
00:24:57,625 --> 00:25:03,029
Pard and me
Pardon me for loving you
318
00:25:09,003 --> 00:25:11,904
What is it, Doc?
319
00:25:11,973 --> 00:25:16,876
Heat exhaustion. Get me a half teaspoon of salt
in a quart of cold water, and get me a washcloth.
320
00:25:16,944 --> 00:25:18,935
All right.
321
00:25:38,733 --> 00:25:42,100
Here you go, Doc. I got the well water
and salt like y'all... Oh, Lordy!
322
00:25:42,169 --> 00:25:44,364
Pour me a glass.
323
00:25:45,740 --> 00:25:49,437
She gonna be all right?
Soon as I get her cooled off...
324
00:25:49,510 --> 00:25:52,240
and get some fluids in her,
she'll be fine.
325
00:25:52,313 --> 00:25:54,474
Fetch me a fan, would ya?
All right.
326
00:25:54,548 --> 00:25:56,880
"Fetch." I'm talkin' like them.
327
00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:16,768
I'll go get the animals.
328
00:26:16,837 --> 00:26:19,032
- Good idea.
- Yeah.
329
00:26:23,678 --> 00:26:28,047
What happened?
I mentioned babies and you fainted.
330
00:26:28,115 --> 00:26:33,451
I swooned?
Well, yeah. Uh, drink this.
331
00:26:36,223 --> 00:26:39,215
Salt water?
Just drink it, please.
332
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,588
Why'd you bring me here?
333
00:26:47,589 --> 00:26:51,866
It's closer than your place. Now, just
drink a little bit more, and slowly.
334
00:26:53,607 --> 00:26:55,598
That's it.
335
00:27:02,316 --> 00:27:04,307
You... You man!
336
00:27:10,624 --> 00:27:12,615
Oh, that's smart.
337
00:27:12,693 --> 00:27:16,493
You're... You got heat prostration,
and you cover yourself up with a blanket.
338
00:27:16,564 --> 00:27:20,398
Pass out again if you want to.
I'll just take off all of your clothes.
339
00:27:24,638 --> 00:27:27,368
- Hi, Miss McGill. Feelin' any better?
- Hi, B...
340
00:27:30,177 --> 00:27:32,839
Doc, if you don't mind...
I put the animals up.
341
00:27:32,913 --> 00:27:36,144
I'd kinda like to get back.
Looks like it's gonna be a pretty big one.
342
00:27:36,217 --> 00:27:39,118
Yeah, well it's fine by me.
343
00:27:39,186 --> 00:27:42,019
Well, I better get home too.
344
00:27:42,089 --> 00:27:46,753
Yeah, you're not goin' anywhere
for at least an hour.
345
00:27:46,827 --> 00:27:48,818
You, uh...
346
00:27:49,830 --> 00:27:51,821
You want...
347
00:27:53,267 --> 00:27:55,827
You want the boy to stay?
348
00:27:57,805 --> 00:28:01,206
- No.
- Y'all take care now, you hear?
349
00:28:06,379 --> 00:28:09,572
Thank you for trusting me.
350
00:28:10,651 --> 00:28:13,779
I don't trust ya, Doc. I trust me.
351
00:28:23,864 --> 00:28:27,027
What's wrong with Piggy?
352
00:28:29,136 --> 00:28:31,400
She has allergies.
353
00:28:32,540 --> 00:28:34,531
What?
354
00:28:34,608 --> 00:28:39,238
Uh, she's allergic to something
on your ranch. She's fine here.
355
00:28:40,714 --> 00:28:43,205
Then you keep her.
356
00:28:43,284 --> 00:28:48,017
Well, thank you, Tess.
That's, uh... That's mighty nice.
357
00:28:49,457 --> 00:28:53,587
Just payment for the doctorin' and
the loan of the clothes, that's all.
358
00:28:55,729 --> 00:28:58,755
Shh, shh, shh. Easy.
359
00:28:58,833 --> 00:29:01,666
Easy, Piggy.
That ol' thunder can't hurt you.
360
00:29:03,204 --> 00:29:06,002
She can't understand you.
361
00:29:06,073 --> 00:29:09,565
I'm just usin' my voice to...
soothe her.
362
00:29:16,984 --> 00:29:19,282
Thunder scares me.
363
00:29:19,353 --> 00:29:24,256
Always has, always will.
I guess I'm no smarter than Piggy.
364
00:29:24,325 --> 00:29:27,817
There's no sin in bein' afraid.
It is in Texas.
365
00:29:32,099 --> 00:29:34,727
Well, I think the worst is over.
366
00:29:37,438 --> 00:29:40,566
You wanna dance?
367
00:29:40,641 --> 00:29:42,666
What?
368
00:29:42,743 --> 00:29:44,802
Dance.
369
00:29:50,416 --> 00:29:52,216
I don't dance.
370
00:30:35,260 --> 00:30:36,260
No!
371
00:30:36,931 --> 00:30:37,649
What did I do?
372
00:30:37,650 --> 00:30:39,309
It's not what you did.
It's what you're gonna do.
373
00:30:39,333 --> 00:30:41,267
I ain't gonna lose in here
what I won out there.
374
00:30:41,335 --> 00:30:44,361
I didn't think dancing
was part of the contest.
375
00:30:44,438 --> 00:30:45,837
Everything's part of the contest, Doc,
376
00:30:45,838 --> 00:30:49,019
and so far you ain't been able to keep up
with me at anything except posthole diggin'!
377
00:30:49,043 --> 00:30:53,036
And poker.
I figure I'm ahead in poker.
378
00:30:59,653 --> 00:31:01,917
I didn't know Wayne
was gonna do that.
379
00:31:06,293 --> 00:31:08,818
I'm-I'm glad you weren't in on it.
380
00:31:12,166 --> 00:31:15,499
So...
So...
381
00:31:15,569 --> 00:31:20,302
Uh, the way I see it, I bested you
in ropin', wranglin' and drinkin',
382
00:31:20,374 --> 00:31:23,207
and you got a leg up on me...
383
00:31:23,277 --> 00:31:27,646
in poker, posthole diggin'
and dancin'.
384
00:31:27,715 --> 00:31:32,118
Sounds like a tie to me. Contest
wasn't to tie me. It was to beat me.
385
00:31:32,186 --> 00:31:34,484
Well, I still have tomorrow.
Tomorrow's Sunday,
386
00:31:34,555 --> 00:31:39,720
and, unless you intend to out pray me,
you just lost, Doc.
387
00:31:39,793 --> 00:31:41,954
Look, Tess.
388
00:31:42,029 --> 00:31:44,156
Come on.
You owe me a tiebreaker.
389
00:31:48,168 --> 00:31:51,501
Okay. One last test.
390
00:31:51,572 --> 00:31:56,407
Shoot.
You want to marry me, Doc?
391
00:31:56,477 --> 00:31:58,468
Ride Widowmaker.
392
00:32:03,350 --> 00:32:05,341
That's what I thought.
393
00:32:33,147 --> 00:32:36,048
I like you, too, Piggy. Yeah.
394
00:32:38,052 --> 00:32:40,043
Funny thing is...
395
00:32:41,155 --> 00:32:44,989
Till we danced, I didn't realize
how much I liked her.
396
00:33:10,451 --> 00:33:12,442
Tess!
397
00:33:16,557 --> 00:33:19,025
I'm comin', Chance.
The Lord has waited all week for...
398
00:33:19,093 --> 00:33:22,790
Ain't that Doc
and Widowmaker down there?
399
00:33:25,432 --> 00:33:28,492
Al, Widowmaker.
400
00:33:28,569 --> 00:33:30,560
Oh, hello, Widowmaker.
401
00:33:31,605 --> 00:33:36,736
Do you know where she and that
jockstrap breath went over the weekend?
402
00:33:36,810 --> 00:33:41,474
To Vegas. Can you believe it?
Our Vegas. Al.
403
00:33:41,548 --> 00:33:45,951
If that Tina came to me on her knees...
on her knees and begged me,
404
00:33:46,019 --> 00:33:49,216
I wouldn't give her the
sweat off of my... Al.
405
00:33:50,691 --> 00:33:53,091
Oh, uh, you want me
to control the horse.
406
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,594
Please.
407
00:33:55,662 --> 00:33:58,426
- Hey, Doc, you crazy?
- Ask Tess.
408
00:33:58,499 --> 00:34:02,959
He's gonna get himself killed.
Is this here part of the contest?
409
00:34:03,036 --> 00:34:05,231
This is the contest.
410
00:34:05,305 --> 00:34:08,103
Come on, boys!
He's gonna try her again!
411
00:34:08,175 --> 00:34:11,406
Ohhmmm.
412
00:34:11,478 --> 00:34:14,038
- You ready? Al?
- Ohhmmm.
413
00:34:14,114 --> 00:34:16,275
- Al?
- Yeah, yeah. Get on. Go ahead.
414
00:34:16,350 --> 00:34:19,444
Ohhmmm.
415
00:34:25,225 --> 00:34:27,523
Ohhmmm... What?
416
00:34:27,594 --> 00:34:32,361
No, I'm busy right now.
Ohhmmm.
417
00:34:32,432 --> 00:34:35,424
- No, I can't come to the phone right now.
- Al.
418
00:34:35,502 --> 00:34:38,369
Ohhmmm... Who is it?
419
00:34:39,339 --> 00:34:41,500
Tina? Uh, um...
420
00:34:41,575 --> 00:34:45,807
Uh, just... just stay right there
for a while, uh, Sam.
421
00:34:45,879 --> 00:34:48,677
I'll be right back, huh?
Yeah. Just...
422
00:34:48,749 --> 00:34:50,740
Just...
423
00:34:54,221 --> 00:34:55,745
Yee-aa-aah!
424
00:35:01,128 --> 00:35:03,028
Ride him, Doc!
425
00:35:04,064 --> 00:35:06,862
- Come on.
- Come on, Doc.
426
00:35:07,868 --> 00:35:09,392
Come on, Doc.
Come on, Doc.
427
00:35:11,705 --> 00:35:14,333
Come on, Doc!
Ride him!
428
00:35:15,642 --> 00:35:19,009
- Ride him, Doc!
- Come on, Doc!
429
00:35:33,093 --> 00:35:36,324
- God dang!
- All right. I seen some ridin' out there.
430
00:35:36,396 --> 00:35:39,058
Good ride, Doc.
431
00:35:39,132 --> 00:35:42,533
Good ride. You know, I think
Widowmaker could use a new name.
432
00:35:42,603 --> 00:35:46,699
- Welcome to the family, son.
- Thanks, but no thanks. I just, uh...
433
00:35:46,773 --> 00:35:50,937
I wanted to see if I could ride him,
not her.
434
00:36:10,430 --> 00:36:12,557
Oh, now, now, daughter.
435
00:36:12,633 --> 00:36:15,534
I guess the laugh's on me.
Nobody's laughin', Tess.
436
00:36:15,602 --> 00:36:17,832
They better not.
437
00:36:17,905 --> 00:36:20,567
Go after him.
438
00:36:20,641 --> 00:36:22,632
Chase a man?
439
00:36:22,709 --> 00:36:27,908
A calf has to be roped before you can
put your brand on him. Why not a man?
440
00:36:27,981 --> 00:36:29,972
It'd be humiliating.
441
00:36:30,050 --> 00:36:33,577
Any more than what you've
been doin' to Doc this past week?
442
00:36:33,654 --> 00:36:38,216
Tess, for once in your life, act
like a woman instead of a cowboy.
443
00:36:38,292 --> 00:36:40,590
Hmm?
444
00:36:43,230 --> 00:36:45,824
You gotta trust me, Doc.
445
00:36:45,899 --> 00:36:49,096
I'm doin' what I think is best.
446
00:36:49,169 --> 00:36:52,366
Winning a contest isn't enough.
I mean, she's gotta want...
447
00:36:52,439 --> 00:36:54,771
You always talk to yourself,
Doc?
448
00:36:55,776 --> 00:36:57,835
You always...
449
00:36:57,911 --> 00:37:01,074
come into a man's house
without knocking?
450
00:37:01,148 --> 00:37:03,241
Sorry.
451
00:37:03,317 --> 00:37:05,785
You oughta wear a dress more often.
452
00:37:05,852 --> 00:37:07,945
Kinda hard to work a ranch
wearin' a dress.
453
00:37:08,021 --> 00:37:10,888
- Don't you ever back off?
- Can't afford to.
454
00:37:10,958 --> 00:37:15,510
Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're a Texan, and
Texans gotta be tougher than rawhide.
455
00:37:15,511 --> 00:37:16,794
What do you want, Tess?
456
00:37:16,863 --> 00:37:20,299
Well, I was just wonderin'...
457
00:37:20,367 --> 00:37:24,963
why you risked your life
for 50,000 acres of prime Texas land...
458
00:37:25,038 --> 00:37:26,249
and then turned it down.
459
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:28,872
Is that what you think this
is about? Getting Riata?
460
00:37:28,942 --> 00:37:33,311
- Well, it sure as hell ain't about love.
- You speakin' for me or for yourself?
461
00:37:36,883 --> 00:37:41,286
Doc, in all the years
we've known each other,
462
00:37:41,355 --> 00:37:44,791
the only thing we ever talked
about was sick critters.
463
00:37:47,627 --> 00:37:52,189
- Okay, uh, how about those Dodgers?
- What?
464
00:37:52,265 --> 00:37:57,703
Look, Tess, it's hard to talk to you
about anything except Riata.
465
00:37:57,771 --> 00:38:03,004
Especially if, uh...
I mean, if a fella's shy.
466
00:38:03,076 --> 00:38:06,273
You never struck me as bein' shy.
Well, I was.
467
00:38:06,346 --> 00:38:09,281
At least I was when
it came to expressing...
468
00:38:10,283 --> 00:38:12,513
my feelings for you.
469
00:38:14,654 --> 00:38:16,645
So, uh,
470
00:38:18,492 --> 00:38:20,653
I wrote 'em all down.
471
00:38:53,894 --> 00:38:56,192
This isn't fair, you know.
472
00:38:56,263 --> 00:38:59,323
You can't expect me to do this
and not get involved.
473
00:38:59,399 --> 00:39:02,300
So if Tess falls in love with Doc,
474
00:39:02,369 --> 00:39:06,738
I'd appreciate it if you'd just
leap me outta here as soon as possible.
475
00:39:12,279 --> 00:39:14,270
Doc.
476
00:39:15,882 --> 00:39:19,181
Can we dance?
477
00:39:19,252 --> 00:39:21,243
Sure.
478
00:39:37,537 --> 00:39:43,032
Doc, Riata's in my blood.
I just can't give her up.
479
00:39:43,110 --> 00:39:45,305
Nobody's askin' you to.
480
00:39:45,378 --> 00:39:49,940
But if I marry you, then all the men'll
look to you after Chance is gone.
481
00:39:51,485 --> 00:39:53,646
Couldn't we run it together?
482
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,351
Together?
483
00:40:03,363 --> 00:40:05,354
Together.
484
00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:23,913
Tess! Tess McGill!
485
00:40:23,984 --> 00:40:26,851
I know you're in there.!
486
00:40:27,554 --> 00:40:30,318
Wayne, what're you doin' here?
487
00:40:30,390 --> 00:40:32,984
I wanna know if you're marryin' Doc.
488
00:40:33,059 --> 00:40:36,358
Well, that's none
of your damn business.
489
00:40:36,429 --> 00:40:38,954
Now, Tess, I figure it is.
490
00:40:39,966 --> 00:40:43,212
I ain't been bustin' my butt for you all
these years to have you go run off with Doc.
491
00:40:43,236 --> 00:40:45,704
You were paid for every day you worked,
and plenty you didn't.
492
00:40:45,772 --> 00:40:49,572
Do you think I worked at Riata for
three squares and 50 bucks a month?
493
00:40:52,879 --> 00:40:57,179
I ain't some bowlegged cowboy
like Eddie or Zeke.
494
00:40:57,250 --> 00:41:01,311
I... I was hopin' some day to rope you.
495
00:41:01,388 --> 00:41:04,221
- You mean Riata.
- You can keep Riata.
496
00:41:07,794 --> 00:41:10,262
I want you.
497
00:41:10,330 --> 00:41:12,321
What?
498
00:41:19,606 --> 00:41:21,870
I love you, Tess.
499
00:41:21,942 --> 00:41:24,342
I have ever since
the first day I rode in.
500
00:41:24,411 --> 00:41:26,402
Just...
501
00:41:29,015 --> 00:41:31,643
Just never had the guts to say so.
502
00:41:33,987 --> 00:41:36,615
But I wrote these letters.
503
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:04,741
Would you mind
if I danced with Wayne...
504
00:42:06,219 --> 00:42:08,619
just to see how it feels?
505
00:42:11,391 --> 00:42:14,758
Uh...
No. Sure.
506
00:42:19,332 --> 00:42:21,323
Uh...
507
00:42:24,404 --> 00:42:27,771
I don't know how to dance, Tess.
508
00:42:27,841 --> 00:42:31,470
That's okay. I'll lead.
509
00:42:42,856 --> 00:42:45,552
Wayne danced about as well as I did...
510
00:42:45,625 --> 00:42:49,959
with Miss Morgan
at my kindergarten graduation.
511
00:42:50,030 --> 00:42:55,161
She married the principal that summer, and I
didn't get over it until I met Miss Sedlack.
512
00:42:55,235 --> 00:42:59,433
She was my first-grade teacher.
513
00:42:59,506 --> 00:43:02,964
I hoped getting over Tess
wouldn't take as long.
514
00:43:06,913 --> 00:43:09,381
At least you're still my girl.
515
00:43:09,449 --> 00:43:12,043
Oop.
516
00:43:12,118 --> 00:43:14,109
That's it.
517
00:43:18,191 --> 00:43:20,955
- Fickle.
- You're lookin'pretty sharp, Sam.
518
00:43:24,264 --> 00:43:28,030
Oh, hello. I love those silver tips
on your boots. Those are nice.
519
00:43:28,101 --> 00:43:33,300
And, oh, you've got matching ones
on your collar. Ha-ha! "Trés" western.
520
00:43:33,373 --> 00:43:37,400
Oh, come on, Sam. Gimme a break.
I knew you could ride that nag.
521
00:43:37,477 --> 00:43:43,416
Nag? You call that half ton of Texas
lightning that tried to castrate me a nag?
522
00:43:43,483 --> 00:43:46,043
Yeah, but he didn't.
You rode him, cowboy!
523
00:43:46,119 --> 00:43:48,587
Oh, gee, shucks, Mr. Dillon.
524
00:43:48,655 --> 00:43:52,853
Sam, if I hadn't taken that phone call,
I would have lost Tina forever.
525
00:43:52,926 --> 00:43:54,917
She's back?
Yeah.
526
00:43:54,994 --> 00:43:59,624
She gave Gooshie a case
of mouthwash and sent him packing.
527
00:43:59,699 --> 00:44:02,497
She only did it
to make me jealous.
528
00:44:02,569 --> 00:44:06,164
And-And she never slept
with that rotten bum.
529
00:44:09,576 --> 00:44:12,374
I believe her.
You believed Ziggy.
530
00:44:12,445 --> 00:44:15,141
Well, technically Ziggy wasn't wrong.
531
00:44:15,215 --> 00:44:19,276
He said he predicted Tess would marry
someone who wrote her love letters.
532
00:44:19,352 --> 00:44:21,513
You're right, Al.
Yeah. Of course.
533
00:44:21,588 --> 00:44:23,749
I can't blame Ziggy.
No.
534
00:44:23,823 --> 00:44:26,758
I mean, you were the one who said
I had to marry her to leap. Me?
535
00:44:26,826 --> 00:44:29,954
Yeah, you.
I don't know that I ever said that.
536
00:44:30,029 --> 00:44:34,193
I do. Well, I, uh... You know,
I never really believed it.
537
00:44:34,267 --> 00:44:37,259
You didn't, huh?
Did you?
538
00:44:38,505 --> 00:44:40,837
Come here. Come here.
539
00:44:40,907 --> 00:44:42,898
What?
Look in here.
540
00:44:46,379 --> 00:44:48,370
Check it out.
541
00:44:49,449 --> 00:44:51,440
Go on.
542
00:44:56,589 --> 00:44:59,649
You had a lot to overcome, Sam.
543
00:45:03,596 --> 00:45:05,587
Hi, Doc.
544
00:45:14,274 --> 00:45:16,435
Could you just once use the door?
545
00:45:22,182 --> 00:45:24,173
Happy?
Thank you.
546
00:45:26,553 --> 00:45:29,818
Best man's lookin'real sharp.
Sharp indeed.
547
00:45:29,889 --> 00:45:32,619
Thanks, son.
548
00:45:33,793 --> 00:45:37,490
Uh, Tess getting married might still
be your ticket out of here.
549
00:45:37,564 --> 00:45:39,794
Ziggy's sayin' there's
a 50-50 chance...
550
00:45:39,866 --> 00:45:43,700
that you'll leap the minute
she says, "I do." Ziggy.
551
00:45:43,770 --> 00:45:45,761
Uh, you seen Piggy?
552
00:45:45,839 --> 00:45:48,634
She's around here someplace.
You want me to go find her?
553
00:45:48,635 --> 00:45:50,105
No, that's okay. I'll look.
554
00:45:50,176 --> 00:45:52,167
Piggy?
555
00:45:53,646 --> 00:45:55,637
Piggy.
556
00:45:57,550 --> 00:45:59,882
Piggy
557
00:46:00,887 --> 00:46:03,321
Here, Piggy. Souee!
558
00:46:03,389 --> 00:46:05,482
Piggy souee
559
00:46:05,558 --> 00:46:08,425
Piggy. Piggy souee.
560
00:46:08,495 --> 00:46:10,963
Piggy souee, piggy souee
561
00:46:11,030 --> 00:46:13,999
Oh, how my heart yearns for you
562
00:46:14,067 --> 00:46:16,262
Oh, Piggy
563
00:46:16,336 --> 00:46:18,429
My Piggy souee
564
00:46:19,772 --> 00:46:23,970
Well, I love you, gal
and I need you, Piggy, souee
565
00:46:24,043 --> 00:46:28,343
Why don't you go ahead and try it? Buddy.
566
00:46:28,414 --> 00:46:30,974
Yeah, Doc?
567
00:46:31,050 --> 00:46:35,919
Uh, why don't you try "Peggy Sue"?
It might sound a little better.
568
00:46:35,989 --> 00:46:37,980
All right.
569
00:46:42,862 --> 00:46:45,763
Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue
570
00:46:45,832 --> 00:46:48,266
Oh, how my heart yearns for you
571
00:46:48,334 --> 00:46:50,461
Oh, oh, Peggy
572
00:46:50,537 --> 00:46:54,268
My Peggy Sue
573
00:46:54,340 --> 00:46:58,777
Well, I love you, gal
and I need you, Peggy Sue
574
00:47:00,446 --> 00:47:03,643
Oh, I need you, Peggy Sue
575
00:47:03,716 --> 00:47:06,207
With a love that's rare and true
576
00:47:06,286 --> 00:47:10,518
Oh, Peggy, my Peggy Sue
577
00:47:10,590 --> 00:47:12,581
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
578
00:47:12,659 --> 00:47:16,561
Well, I love you, gal
and I need you, Peggy Sue
579
00:47:18,765 --> 00:47:21,461
Thanks, Frankie. You was terrific.
580
00:47:21,534 --> 00:47:24,435
If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.