1 00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:11,058 The first rule of quantum leaping is to find out who I am. 2 00:00:13,935 --> 00:00:16,634 Then, who I'm here to help. 3 00:00:16,705 --> 00:00:20,197 Charlie-san! 4 00:00:20,276 --> 00:00:24,372 Third, if I've made a mistake, know how to make up for it. 5 00:00:24,447 --> 00:00:28,713 And always, always know when to leave. Sayonara, Sam. 6 00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:40,691 Which brings me back to the first rule of quantum leaping 7 00:00:40,763 --> 00:00:43,926 finding out who I am. 8 00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:48,196 Sam? 9 00:00:48,270 --> 00:00:50,932 My name! 10 00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:55,238 I'm gonna be called by my own name. Who is it? 11 00:00:55,311 --> 00:00:58,303 It's Gloria, you yo-yo, who else would it be? 12 00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:00,940 I have to run to the store. I ran my last pair of stockings. 13 00:01:01,016 --> 00:01:04,611 You need anything? Uh, no, no. I'm fine. 14 00:01:04,687 --> 00:01:07,554 Will you zip me up? 15 00:01:07,623 --> 00:01:11,923 You'd better hurry up. You'll be late for your new job. 16 00:01:11,994 --> 00:01:15,987 Uh, yeah, right. My new... My new job. 17 00:01:16,065 --> 00:01:18,363 Like it's no big deal. An executive position like this... 18 00:01:18,434 --> 00:01:22,063 opens up once every five years and never to someone our age, 19 00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:26,665 Miss Youngest Executive Secretary at the company. 20 00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:29,677 Miss? 21 00:01:45,561 --> 00:01:47,688 Wow! 22 00:01:51,567 --> 00:01:54,229 Oh, my God. 23 00:01:54,303 --> 00:01:56,737 It's true! 24 00:01:58,807 --> 00:02:01,241 No, you... You could lower that. 25 00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:05,178 I'm a woman! And I'm in love. 26 00:02:05,247 --> 00:02:08,808 If it was anybody else, Sam, I'd be all over you like a cheap suit. 27 00:02:08,884 --> 00:02:11,079 Stop it. What? 28 00:02:11,153 --> 00:02:14,884 I'm just... I'm enjoying the view. 29 00:02:14,957 --> 00:02:17,619 Let's face it. You're a knockout. 30 00:02:18,928 --> 00:02:24,127 You mean... you see me a-as her? 31 00:02:24,199 --> 00:02:27,657 Course I see you as her. And back in the waiting room, I see her as you. 32 00:02:27,736 --> 00:02:32,298 - That's the way it works, don't you remember? - No, not really. 33 00:02:32,374 --> 00:02:35,434 Al, this-this... This feels really weird. 34 00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:40,107 Think about how Samantha feels. She's so confused, we're using Verbena Beeks. 35 00:02:40,182 --> 00:02:44,585 Antidepressants? Dr. Verbena Beeks. 36 00:02:44,653 --> 00:02:48,919 She's the project shrink. I used to think she was cute. 37 00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:52,324 Would you stop looking at me like that! Sam, you better get used to it. 38 00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:54,988 You're gonna have to convince everybody you're a woman. No! 39 00:02:55,064 --> 00:02:58,522 Yes! Yes, that's the rule, Sam. 40 00:02:58,601 --> 00:03:01,593 Everybody has to believe you are Samantha... 41 00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:04,434 so that whatever's wrong here can be made right. 42 00:03:04,506 --> 00:03:06,997 Well, just what is that, please? I don't know. 43 00:03:07,076 --> 00:03:10,705 Gooshie and I haven't had time to feed any programs through Ziggy. 44 00:03:10,779 --> 00:03:13,339 Well, would you do it, please? Get on it. 45 00:03:13,415 --> 00:03:16,816 Whatever you say, beautiful. 46 00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:19,615 Get out of here. Just get out of my bathroom. 47 00:03:19,688 --> 00:03:23,283 You have a wonderful sense of humor. 48 00:04:43,973 --> 00:04:46,100 Detroit, Michigan, 1961. 49 00:04:46,175 --> 00:04:49,440 Roger Maris is about to break Babe Ruth's home run record. 50 00:04:49,512 --> 00:04:52,174 But am I wearing cleats, sliding into second? No. 51 00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:56,014 I'm wearing three-inch high heels and trying desperately not to fall on my... 52 00:04:56,085 --> 00:04:58,178 face. 53 00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,313 I told you you should have worn a girdle. 54 00:05:00,390 --> 00:05:02,221 I'm not into bondage. 55 00:05:02,292 --> 00:05:05,261 Do you remember how Debbie Moore used to say that before she had her baby? 56 00:05:05,328 --> 00:05:07,762 Now she wouldn't be caught dead without one. 57 00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:10,560 I still can't believe she went back to work. 58 00:05:10,633 --> 00:05:12,999 What's wrong with that? 59 00:05:13,069 --> 00:05:16,129 Excuse me, but aren't you the same girl that said, 60 00:05:16,205 --> 00:05:19,174 "The day I get that gold band is the day I quit work, 61 00:05:19,242 --> 00:05:21,710 start shopping and eat anything chocolate." 62 00:05:21,778 --> 00:05:23,712 Great. I'm a gold digger. 63 00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:26,442 I'd never say that about my best friend. 64 00:05:26,516 --> 00:05:29,212 Let's just say you're mentally prepared... 65 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:32,220 for a life different than the one you're in. 66 00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:35,485 That's our bus! Hey, wait! 67 00:05:40,263 --> 00:05:42,823 Hold it. 68 00:05:42,899 --> 00:05:46,357 Ah, ooh, ah. 69 00:05:46,436 --> 00:05:49,872 No stockings? You're such a bohemian. 70 00:06:03,152 --> 00:06:05,677 Two hours as Samantha, and I knew that the lyrics... 71 00:06:05,755 --> 00:06:09,156 to "I Enjoy Being a Girl" were not written by one. 72 00:06:09,225 --> 00:06:11,318 Whew! I only hope my job... 73 00:06:11,394 --> 00:06:15,592 doesn't require anything more than sharpening pencils or mailing a letter. 74 00:06:15,665 --> 00:06:17,895 At least until Ziggy figures out why I'm here. 75 00:06:25,074 --> 00:06:27,372 What's wrong? 76 00:06:27,443 --> 00:06:29,707 Buddy got his promotion. 77 00:06:29,779 --> 00:06:33,545 - Buddy? - My fiancé... 78 00:06:33,616 --> 00:06:36,176 If you can call a guy who's married your fiancé. 79 00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:38,277 I don't think so. 80 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:40,447 I can't believe he did this. 81 00:06:40,523 --> 00:06:44,459 This is what we've been waiting for, so he could leave Gail. 82 00:06:44,527 --> 00:06:47,360 He didn't even ask for me to be his secretary. 83 00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:49,921 I'm sorry. 84 00:06:49,999 --> 00:06:52,092 You were right, Sam. 85 00:06:52,168 --> 00:06:55,899 Married men are just a one-way ticket to Nowheresville. 86 00:06:55,972 --> 00:06:57,940 I don't know why I keep believing. 87 00:06:58,007 --> 00:07:00,532 Sometimes I think I should just give it all up. 88 00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:04,011 Gloria. 89 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,980 I'll be fine. 90 00:07:06,049 --> 00:07:09,712 I'm always fine. 91 00:07:35,678 --> 00:07:38,044 From my heart. 92 00:07:39,615 --> 00:07:41,776 I hope everything's there. 93 00:07:41,851 --> 00:07:44,445 Uh, yeah. Well, I... I hope so too. 94 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:48,786 If there is any problem, I'm the man to talk to. 95 00:07:48,858 --> 00:07:53,761 I did the move myself, beautiful. 96 00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:57,391 Beautiful? Oh, okay. Miss Stormer. 97 00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:00,402 But, um, if you like, 98 00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:03,303 I could call you Samantha, and, uh, 99 00:08:03,372 --> 00:08:06,205 you could call me Big John. 100 00:08:08,778 --> 00:08:11,838 I'm gonna call you "dead" if you don't get outta my face. 101 00:08:11,914 --> 00:08:14,508 Aw. I was just trying to be friendly. 102 00:08:14,584 --> 00:08:17,451 Be friendly on your own time, Johnny, 103 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,818 or you'll be delivering mail for Studebaker. 104 00:08:19,889 --> 00:08:22,756 On the double, Mr. Wright. Miss Stormer, in my office. 105 00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:26,761 And bring a pad and pencil. 106 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:30,697 Great guy. 107 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:06,434 I didn't realize until I watched you walk through that door, 108 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:10,165 how incredibly beautiful you really are. 109 00:09:10,239 --> 00:09:13,208 Whatever I did, I'm sorry. 110 00:09:13,276 --> 00:09:17,269 I'm sorry, too, that... I didn't become a vice president sooner. 111 00:09:17,346 --> 00:09:22,306 But we'll make up for that... starting tonight? 112 00:09:22,385 --> 00:09:25,912 Drinks... to celebrate our... 113 00:09:25,988 --> 00:09:27,922 Our new positions. 114 00:09:27,990 --> 00:09:31,153 My natural instinct was to punch him out. 115 00:09:31,227 --> 00:09:34,458 But as Al said, I had to play this as Samantha. 116 00:09:36,199 --> 00:09:39,464 I don't think so, Mr. Wright. 117 00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:43,062 - Buddy. Buddy. - Buddy. 118 00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:45,903 What do you mean you don't think so? 119 00:09:45,975 --> 00:09:48,500 Well, you're ma-married. 120 00:09:48,578 --> 00:09:51,172 So? 121 00:09:51,247 --> 00:09:53,807 So, I-I... I don't date married men. 122 00:09:53,883 --> 00:09:56,875 I figured I was just the fella to change all of that. 123 00:09:56,953 --> 00:09:59,854 You figured wrong. Samantha, I understand... 124 00:09:59,922 --> 00:10:03,653 playing hard to get in the steno pool, but you've got the job now. 125 00:10:03,726 --> 00:10:09,062 I overlooked some very eligible gals to, uh, 126 00:10:09,131 --> 00:10:11,122 give it to you. 127 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,498 This is sexual harassment! 128 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:16,936 I don't know what that is, but I like the sound of it. 129 00:10:17,006 --> 00:10:19,770 Why don't you just explain that to me tonight over drinks? 130 00:10:19,842 --> 00:10:23,744 Why don't you let your wife explain it to you? 131 00:10:25,815 --> 00:10:28,648 Samantha. Samantha. 132 00:10:28,718 --> 00:10:33,348 I would. Only my... 133 00:10:33,422 --> 00:10:37,518 Well, my wife... won't be sober enough... 134 00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:40,289 to even say hello when I get home tonight. 135 00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:48,731 Get me Bixby's market research. I need it for my 10:30. 136 00:10:48,804 --> 00:10:51,466 And put on some makeup. 137 00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:54,600 You're representing Buddy Wright out there. 138 00:11:21,837 --> 00:11:26,240 How's the girl of my dreams? 139 00:11:26,309 --> 00:11:29,278 You know, this is... It's degrading. 140 00:11:29,345 --> 00:11:32,678 I mean, first he... He chases me around his office, 141 00:11:32,748 --> 00:11:36,479 a-and then... and then he says I gotta wear lipstick! 142 00:11:36,552 --> 00:11:42,184 It's a pity they didn't have the wet look in '61... 143 00:11:42,258 --> 00:11:45,421 'cause you would look fabulous with wet lips. 144 00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:47,621 I'm so happy about that. 145 00:11:47,697 --> 00:11:49,790 This is... This is hard on me, Sam. Oh? 146 00:11:49,865 --> 00:11:53,801 It's hard on me. I can't stop thinking about you. 147 00:11:53,869 --> 00:11:59,569 Time has packaged my best friend inside a goddess of love. 148 00:12:01,644 --> 00:12:05,273 It's got me worried, Sam. I'm talking to Dr. Beeks. 149 00:12:05,348 --> 00:12:07,282 Sam? 150 00:12:07,350 --> 00:12:11,013 I've been looking everywhere for you. 151 00:12:11,087 --> 00:12:13,351 Buddy called. He explained everything. 152 00:12:13,422 --> 00:12:18,291 The reason why he didn't tell me about the promotion was because he wanted it to be a surprise. 153 00:12:18,361 --> 00:12:21,125 He wants to marry me! He's already married. 154 00:12:21,197 --> 00:12:24,360 This is why you're here, Sam. He's leaving Gail. 155 00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:28,199 He was waiting for the promotion, so he could afford to fight for custody of the children. 156 00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:30,761 - I'm getting married! - No, she's not. 157 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,207 Gloria, "I'm leaving my wife"... 158 00:12:34,276 --> 00:12:36,642 It's the oldest lie in the book. 159 00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:41,513 Don't spoil this for me. You're my best friend. Just be happy for me, please. 160 00:12:41,584 --> 00:12:43,552 Gloria... I gotta get back. 161 00:12:43,619 --> 00:12:46,816 Culpepper'll be screaming for me. 162 00:12:46,889 --> 00:12:49,153 Oh, I'm so happy! 163 00:12:51,861 --> 00:12:55,262 - What happens? - Well, when she finds out... 164 00:12:55,331 --> 00:12:58,698 Mr. Wrong won't marry her... 165 00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:03,069 She commits suicide. 166 00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:12,943 I have come to the conclusion that women are part masochist. 167 00:13:13,014 --> 00:13:17,348 It's like someone designed a modern-day torture rack you can wear: 168 00:13:17,419 --> 00:13:21,856 from the bra, to the stockings, to the tight skirts, 169 00:13:21,923 --> 00:13:24,016 and the shoes from hell. 170 00:13:24,092 --> 00:13:27,493 They get up everyday and perform this weird binding ritual. 171 00:13:27,562 --> 00:13:30,258 And for what? 172 00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:34,495 Wow! You look terrific. 173 00:13:34,569 --> 00:13:37,037 I'm supposed to look conservative. 174 00:13:37,105 --> 00:13:42,407 You couldn't look conservative if you tried. 175 00:13:42,477 --> 00:13:45,344 Thanks. Come here. 176 00:13:49,584 --> 00:13:51,643 Eat your heart out, Marilyn. 177 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:55,781 If anybody but my best friend were working for Buddy, I'd be worried. 178 00:13:55,857 --> 00:13:59,156 Anyone else and you'd have good reason. 179 00:13:59,227 --> 00:14:04,494 Please don't. I told you last night. I love him and he loves me. 180 00:14:04,566 --> 00:14:06,500 That's all that matters. 181 00:14:06,568 --> 00:14:09,093 What about his wife and kids? 182 00:14:09,170 --> 00:14:12,037 She is a monster, Sam. 183 00:14:12,107 --> 00:14:15,008 She drinks and she fights with him. 184 00:14:15,076 --> 00:14:18,204 She doesn't care about herself or the children... 185 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:22,216 Not to mention the affair she's having with the tennis pro at the club. 186 00:14:22,284 --> 00:14:26,880 Buddy is so unhappy. He said I'm his only hope. 187 00:14:26,955 --> 00:14:29,753 Do you know how special that makes me feel? 188 00:14:29,824 --> 00:14:33,590 Gloria, you shouldn't need a man to make you feel special. 189 00:14:33,662 --> 00:14:36,028 But I do. Why? 190 00:14:36,097 --> 00:14:39,555 You are beautiful... I'm not beautiful. 191 00:14:39,634 --> 00:14:42,501 I'm cute, maybe, but I'm not beautiful. 192 00:14:42,570 --> 00:14:47,234 But you are. And not just on the outside, 193 00:14:47,309 --> 00:14:51,609 but in here, where it counts. 194 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,410 Men don't want what's in here. 195 00:14:54,482 --> 00:14:56,916 They want what you've got. 196 00:14:56,985 --> 00:14:59,112 Except for Buddy. 197 00:14:59,187 --> 00:15:02,020 He was the one in a million that loved me for myself. 198 00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:04,923 I wish that were so, Gloria, but... 199 00:15:04,993 --> 00:15:07,188 having just spent a day with him, I-I... 200 00:15:07,262 --> 00:15:09,196 It makes me doubt it. 201 00:15:09,264 --> 00:15:11,391 Why should I believe you? 202 00:15:11,466 --> 00:15:15,163 Have you ever had a man love you for anything besides your body? 203 00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:22,700 I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. 204 00:15:22,777 --> 00:15:24,904 No, that's... It's okay. 205 00:15:24,979 --> 00:15:28,642 Oh, Sam, I love him, and he loves me. 206 00:15:28,717 --> 00:15:32,050 Don't ask me to give up my one chance at happiness. 207 00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:39,889 Iacocca's got Eisenhower hawking for him at $ 1,000 a plate! 208 00:15:39,961 --> 00:15:42,361 Can you believe it? The president of the United States! 209 00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:44,864 He's a hell of a showman. 210 00:15:44,933 --> 00:15:47,424 Of course, he's gotta be... 211 00:15:47,502 --> 00:15:51,700 after that A-bomb of an Edsel last year. 212 00:15:51,773 --> 00:15:55,231 I liked the Edsel. It was a dog, Ted. 213 00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,471 Nobody wanted a car with a zero for a grille. 214 00:15:57,545 --> 00:16:00,139 Maybe not. But I'm not so sure... 215 00:16:00,215 --> 00:16:03,707 the public wants what we've got on the drawing boards. What are you talking about? 216 00:16:03,785 --> 00:16:07,380 I had before me a firsthand definition of sleaze. 217 00:16:07,455 --> 00:16:11,619 Buddy had perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect eyes and perfect chin. 218 00:16:11,693 --> 00:16:14,253 But they weren't the arrow that made women like Gloria fall. 219 00:16:14,329 --> 00:16:18,629 It was the velvet tones all neatly wrapped in wit and charm. 220 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,634 We can't base our designs on California, Ted. 221 00:16:20,702 --> 00:16:24,638 They're avocado growers and movie stars... 222 00:16:24,706 --> 00:16:27,106 with kinky tastes... He was a master of manipulation, 223 00:16:27,175 --> 00:16:29,109 for foreign sports cars. And he knew it. 224 00:16:29,177 --> 00:16:32,146 Yes, but they spend more time on the freeways than they do in their homes. 225 00:16:32,213 --> 00:16:34,238 We're gonna get 'em with our '62s. 226 00:16:34,315 --> 00:16:39,150 I'm looking down the road five, 10 years. What's the public going to want then? 227 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:42,781 The same dream machines that they want right now: 228 00:16:42,857 --> 00:16:47,624 fins, chrome, flash and horsepower. 229 00:16:47,695 --> 00:16:49,856 Lots ofhorsepower. 230 00:16:49,931 --> 00:16:52,297 The bigger, the better. 231 00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:55,928 And wait till we put this baby on the market. 232 00:16:56,004 --> 00:17:00,304 Five-hundred cubic inches, 450 horsepower. 233 00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:03,003 Three inches wider and ten inches longer than the biggest Caddy. 234 00:17:03,077 --> 00:17:06,478 What about fuel economy? 235 00:17:06,548 --> 00:17:09,745 Miss Stormer has a point. What about it, Buddy? 236 00:17:09,818 --> 00:17:12,218 What does it get, seven miles to the gallon? 237 00:17:12,287 --> 00:17:14,721 Maybe eight. But I got that covered, Ted. 238 00:17:14,789 --> 00:17:20,193 I reduced the trunk and I enlarged the gas tank. This baby will hold 40 gallons. 239 00:17:20,261 --> 00:17:23,059 My God, what'll it cost to fill up? 240 00:17:23,131 --> 00:17:26,430 At 30 cents a gallon, $12. 241 00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:31,461 But we're not gonna try to market this model to... secretaries. 242 00:17:33,041 --> 00:17:36,306 Could I have a cup of coffee, please? Ted, coffee? 243 00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:38,641 Yes, black. 244 00:17:41,416 --> 00:17:45,216 I like mine like my women, 245 00:17:45,286 --> 00:17:47,686 hot and sweet. 246 00:18:05,573 --> 00:18:08,804 Don't even start unless you want to eat your teeth for lunch. 247 00:18:16,484 --> 00:18:19,976 What are you doing? 248 00:18:20,054 --> 00:18:22,579 Hot and sweet. 249 00:18:22,657 --> 00:18:25,990 What? 250 00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:30,053 I want a beer. A light beer. 251 00:18:30,131 --> 00:18:32,122 I wanna make some microwave popcorn. 252 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,828 I wanna sit down in front of the TV, start the VCR. 253 00:18:34,903 --> 00:18:37,838 Oh, that time of the month, huh? 254 00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:44,473 Uh, no. I-I don't... I don't think so. 255 00:18:46,447 --> 00:18:48,745 I just... 256 00:18:48,816 --> 00:18:51,114 I just wanna go home. 257 00:18:51,185 --> 00:18:54,677 That's what I wanna talk to you about. I have a huge favor to ask. 258 00:18:54,756 --> 00:18:58,089 If you do this, I promise I'll go on that double date your mother set up tomorrow. 259 00:18:58,159 --> 00:19:00,389 Double date? Buddy wants to come by the apartment tonight. 260 00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:03,953 I thought you could go to a movie? No. 261 00:19:04,032 --> 00:19:07,263 Please, Sam, I need some time alone with Buddy to plan our future. 262 00:19:07,335 --> 00:19:10,668 If he's planning your future the way he's planning this company's, you're in trouble. 263 00:19:10,738 --> 00:19:13,673 What is that supposed to mean? 264 00:19:13,741 --> 00:19:16,141 Nothing. Gloria, 265 00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:18,337 I-I-I just wish you would open your eyes. 266 00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,973 If Buddy wants to talk, really talk about your future, 267 00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:23,847 why does it have to be at the apartment? 268 00:19:23,918 --> 00:19:27,786 I'm way over 21, Sam. 269 00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:32,888 I just don't want you hurt. 270 00:19:32,961 --> 00:19:36,829 Does that mean "Yes"? 271 00:19:36,898 --> 00:19:39,332 Maybe. 272 00:20:07,695 --> 00:20:10,630 Ahhh. 273 00:20:11,799 --> 00:20:14,233 - What are you doing here? - Oh, uh... 274 00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:19,330 I-I just came home to change clothes and, uh, drop the iron maidens. 275 00:20:19,407 --> 00:20:22,035 You don't have time. Buddy'll be here any minute. 276 00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:25,637 Yeah, well, you know, um, 277 00:20:25,713 --> 00:20:28,978 maybe the three of us should talk about your future. 278 00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:31,211 Sam, if you want me to go on that double date... 279 00:20:31,285 --> 00:20:33,412 with you tomorrow night, you'll get out of here now! 280 00:20:33,488 --> 00:20:35,888 About that double date. That's another thing... 281 00:20:45,266 --> 00:20:47,200 Ha-ha! Oh. 282 00:20:52,907 --> 00:20:56,900 Oh, uh, I didn't know that you two were roomies. 283 00:20:56,978 --> 00:21:00,277 If I were a different kind of guy... 284 00:21:00,348 --> 00:21:02,612 You wouldn't be here. 285 00:21:03,718 --> 00:21:07,279 Samantha was just going to the movies. 286 00:21:07,355 --> 00:21:09,619 In those? 287 00:21:09,691 --> 00:21:14,390 Yeah, I thought I might just, you know, go do a power walk in the park. 288 00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:16,862 Get a little aerobics exercise, get the old heart rate up. 289 00:21:16,931 --> 00:21:20,332 Since you're already going for a walk, would you mind taking Bubbles? 290 00:21:21,669 --> 00:21:25,002 Samantha! Do it for me, please. 291 00:21:29,844 --> 00:21:33,746 Thanks, doll. See you in the morning. 292 00:21:33,815 --> 00:21:37,717 The name's Samantha. 293 00:21:55,970 --> 00:21:59,337 - Personally, I prefer leaving the lights on. 294 00:21:59,407 --> 00:22:03,844 - You keep that up, tiny teeth, and I'll feed ya to Ziggy. 295 00:22:03,911 --> 00:22:08,507 - A little testy tonight, aren't we? - You would be too, if... 296 00:22:08,583 --> 00:22:11,381 If what? Never mind. 297 00:22:11,452 --> 00:22:14,478 Just save Madam Butterfly up there from cashing in her cookies... 298 00:22:14,555 --> 00:22:16,750 and get back to being a guy. 299 00:22:16,824 --> 00:22:20,282 How? Gloria is convinced that Buddy's Mr. Wonderful, 300 00:22:20,361 --> 00:22:23,990 that... that he's got a witch for a wi... 301 00:22:24,065 --> 00:22:26,829 A witch for a wife and that she's his only salvation. 302 00:22:26,901 --> 00:22:29,631 Look, all women fall for that one, 303 00:22:29,704 --> 00:22:32,172 especially single girls Gloria's age. 304 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,640 What does age have to do with it? 305 00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:39,112 She's 27 years old. She's fighting the biological clock. 306 00:22:39,180 --> 00:22:41,876 Those little eggs are ticking off like time bombs. 307 00:22:41,949 --> 00:22:45,043 Al, a woman can have a healthy baby into her 40s. 308 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,054 I know, but people didn't realize that in 1961. 309 00:22:48,122 --> 00:22:50,590 We're talking serious old maid here. 310 00:22:50,658 --> 00:22:52,990 She's probably up there shredding newspapers right now. 311 00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,858 - I wish that's what she was doing. 312 00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:58,023 I'm warning you! 313 00:23:00,201 --> 00:23:02,829 What is your problem? 314 00:23:02,904 --> 00:23:06,738 You! You! You... hermaphrodite, you. 315 00:23:06,808 --> 00:23:09,038 You're drivin' me crazy! 316 00:23:09,110 --> 00:23:12,238 I'm not performing with Tina, so she thinks I've got somebody on the side. 317 00:23:12,313 --> 00:23:16,716 Beeks is laying this load of repressed homosexual crap on me. 318 00:23:16,784 --> 00:23:18,979 And every time I see you, 319 00:23:19,053 --> 00:23:23,649 I've gotta deal with... this. 320 00:23:23,724 --> 00:23:27,251 I'm outta here. Well, you should get outta here. 321 00:23:27,328 --> 00:23:29,694 I can't believe that... Al, look out! 322 00:23:34,101 --> 00:23:37,229 Yeah, close the door. 323 00:23:39,140 --> 00:23:42,337 Come on, Bubbles. 324 00:23:42,410 --> 00:23:46,847 Figure that Buddy would have a dog named Bubbles. 325 00:23:48,916 --> 00:23:53,376 Come here. Come here. 326 00:23:53,454 --> 00:23:57,447 This is great, you know. 327 00:23:57,525 --> 00:23:59,925 Gloria won't listen to me. 328 00:23:59,994 --> 00:24:03,395 My best friend's got a crush on me, and I'm a woman. 329 00:24:05,499 --> 00:24:09,595 Whatever I did to deserve this... You listening to me? 330 00:24:11,172 --> 00:24:13,436 I don't deserve this. 331 00:24:22,583 --> 00:24:25,245 What a glorious morning! 332 00:24:27,054 --> 00:24:28,749 There's Peeping George. 333 00:24:28,823 --> 00:24:31,815 Don't you think you oughta put a... a robe on or... 334 00:24:31,893 --> 00:24:35,351 You're the one that's always saying we should give the little guy a thrill. 335 00:24:35,429 --> 00:24:37,920 Besides, I'm too happy today to hide anything. 336 00:24:37,999 --> 00:24:40,433 Oh, for heaven's sakes, Gloria. 337 00:24:44,772 --> 00:24:46,706 What has gotten into you? Nothing. 338 00:24:46,774 --> 00:24:52,474 Nothing? You never get up before noon on Saturday. You never cook. 339 00:24:52,546 --> 00:24:55,344 And I'm the one that's always pulling you away half-naked from the window. 340 00:24:58,786 --> 00:25:01,812 Did Buddy tell his wife? 341 00:25:01,889 --> 00:25:05,347 Oh, that's it. Yes. 342 00:25:07,328 --> 00:25:09,319 So he's moving out? 343 00:25:09,397 --> 00:25:11,331 Well, not yet. He and Gail decided... 344 00:25:11,399 --> 00:25:15,995 it would be easier on the children if they waited until after the holidays. 345 00:25:16,070 --> 00:25:18,470 Gloria, it's almost two months till Christmas. 346 00:25:18,539 --> 00:25:21,269 No, it's only a month till Thanksgiving. 347 00:25:21,342 --> 00:25:25,472 And then Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, then President's Day... 348 00:25:25,546 --> 00:25:28,208 President's Day? And before you know it, it's the Fourth ofJuly. 349 00:25:28,282 --> 00:25:30,978 We know that a man can't leave his wife on the Fourth ofJuly. 350 00:25:31,052 --> 00:25:33,418 It would be un-American. I'm sure they have a family barbecue, 351 00:25:33,487 --> 00:25:35,887 and I'll bet that Buddy's a whiz at lighting charcoal with... 352 00:25:35,957 --> 00:25:40,326 Stop it! Just stop it! Buddy said he's leaving Gail after the holidays and he will. 353 00:25:40,394 --> 00:25:43,852 - No, he won't. - What do you have, a crystal ball? 354 00:25:43,931 --> 00:25:45,865 In a way. 355 00:25:45,933 --> 00:25:48,663 It's telling me that Buddy will never leave his wife. 356 00:25:48,736 --> 00:25:50,704 Buddy is not Tony! 357 00:25:52,006 --> 00:25:53,974 Tony? 358 00:25:54,041 --> 00:25:56,236 It's not my fault Tony lied to you. 359 00:25:56,310 --> 00:25:58,505 It's not my fault Tony didn't leave his wife. 360 00:25:58,579 --> 00:26:01,070 So don't try and spoil it for me... 361 00:26:01,148 --> 00:26:04,584 just because of what happened to you two years ago! 362 00:26:30,311 --> 00:26:32,802 I'm sorry. 363 00:26:35,883 --> 00:26:37,851 So am I. 364 00:26:37,918 --> 00:26:41,251 I shouldn't have brought up Tony. It was a mean thing to do. 365 00:26:41,322 --> 00:26:43,449 No. 366 00:26:43,524 --> 00:26:48,552 Now and then I... need reminding about things like that. 367 00:26:48,629 --> 00:26:51,621 Sam, please give Buddy a chance. 368 00:26:51,699 --> 00:26:56,102 Try and see it from my point of view. 369 00:26:59,273 --> 00:27:01,434 I'll try. 370 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:11,447 I'll tell you what. Uh, it's a b-beautiful day. 371 00:27:11,519 --> 00:27:16,513 Um, how about brunch? At the Pump Room. 372 00:27:16,590 --> 00:27:19,491 Then we'll go shopping at Horne's. I didn't say anything about shopping. 373 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,620 A blind date is the perfect excuse for a new dress. 374 00:27:22,696 --> 00:27:24,755 I bet your mother'll even reimburse you. 375 00:27:24,832 --> 00:27:27,630 I've been thinking about backing out of tonight. Oh, no way! 376 00:27:27,701 --> 00:27:30,761 Your mom would kill you and me both. 377 00:27:30,838 --> 00:27:36,071 We'll find a gorgeous new dress, and then we'll splurge at the Pink Door on a new hairdo. 378 00:27:36,143 --> 00:27:38,805 It'll be the perfect girl's day! 379 00:27:43,951 --> 00:27:47,853 When your mother told me she had this beautiful daughter living in Detroit, 380 00:27:47,922 --> 00:27:49,947 I thought she was exaggerating. 381 00:27:50,024 --> 00:27:54,324 Mothers have a way of doing that, but not yours. 382 00:27:54,395 --> 00:27:57,421 If anything, she understated. 383 00:27:57,498 --> 00:28:00,729 You are gorgeous. 384 00:28:03,003 --> 00:28:05,028 Thank you. Dick, 385 00:28:05,106 --> 00:28:07,597 I think you're embarrassing Miss Stormer. 386 00:28:07,675 --> 00:28:11,941 What woman doesn't like being told how gorgeous she is? Me. 387 00:28:12,012 --> 00:28:16,039 Are you in the automotive industry? Washers. 388 00:28:16,117 --> 00:28:19,814 - Clothing washers? - No. Little rubber circles. 389 00:28:19,887 --> 00:28:23,288 We make them in 786 sizes out of 31 different materials. 390 00:28:23,357 --> 00:28:25,450 Everything from paper to plastic. 391 00:28:25,526 --> 00:28:30,463 You'll find our washers in every car manufactured in Detroit. 392 00:28:30,531 --> 00:28:33,659 That's fascinating. 393 00:28:33,734 --> 00:28:37,170 Please, don't encourage him. He'll bore you to death. 394 00:28:37,238 --> 00:28:39,638 I can't imagine. 395 00:28:39,707 --> 00:28:41,902 See? You've been out of the circuit too long. 396 00:28:41,976 --> 00:28:46,174 He was married at 19, and after 20 years, she split on him. 397 00:28:46,247 --> 00:28:51,480 My wife... ex-wife... Had other ideas about... 398 00:28:51,552 --> 00:28:55,215 what she thought her life should be like. 399 00:28:55,289 --> 00:28:57,917 And I wasn't included. 400 00:28:57,992 --> 00:29:03,020 Drop the violins. This is a night for the future. 401 00:29:03,097 --> 00:29:06,863 Isn't that right, sweetheart? 402 00:29:22,716 --> 00:29:26,618 I have to go... to the ladies room. 403 00:29:26,687 --> 00:29:29,588 - I'll come with you. - No. 404 00:29:29,657 --> 00:29:33,218 I'd rather go by myself. 405 00:29:41,769 --> 00:29:45,637 Feisty little wench, but I like that. 406 00:29:49,276 --> 00:29:51,141 Calling somebody we know? 407 00:29:51,212 --> 00:29:55,444 You. So we can talk, and I won't look like a lunatic. Where have you been? 408 00:29:55,516 --> 00:29:57,746 I've been with Beeks. 409 00:29:57,818 --> 00:30:00,582 She says I'm gonna need five years of analysis... 410 00:30:00,654 --> 00:30:04,750 before I'll be able to deal with you as a... a woman. 411 00:30:04,825 --> 00:30:07,760 I'm not a woman! 412 00:30:07,828 --> 00:30:10,820 That's what I keep telling myself. 413 00:30:10,898 --> 00:30:13,389 Al, I'm ruining Samantha's life. 414 00:30:13,467 --> 00:30:16,595 I just slugged her date with my purse for grabbing my knee. 415 00:30:16,670 --> 00:30:20,697 He grabbed... That dirty dog. 416 00:30:20,774 --> 00:30:24,005 Would you stop that? When am I gonna get outta here? 417 00:30:24,078 --> 00:30:27,309 When you stop Gloria from committing suicide. 418 00:30:27,381 --> 00:30:31,181 - Which is? - Tonight. 419 00:30:33,220 --> 00:30:36,121 I didn't really think that talking to a woman after all these years... 420 00:30:36,190 --> 00:30:38,988 would be so easy, so comfortable. 421 00:30:39,059 --> 00:30:42,995 Some of it has to do with being lucky enough to find a woman with your sensitivity. 422 00:30:43,063 --> 00:30:47,022 I wasn't going to go out on this date. Ever since Edith asked me to move out, 423 00:30:47,101 --> 00:30:51,595 I've locked myself away in my tiny apartment, angry at the world. 424 00:30:51,672 --> 00:30:53,606 Tonight I don't feel angry at all. 425 00:30:53,674 --> 00:30:55,869 That's because of you, Gloria. I'm glad I came. 426 00:30:55,943 --> 00:30:58,468 I just wanted you to know that. I was wondering if... 427 00:30:58,545 --> 00:31:03,949 Would you excuse me for a moment? Sure. 428 00:31:05,552 --> 00:31:08,612 Big guy, I think we got us a couple of hot ones. 429 00:31:17,131 --> 00:31:19,656 Mrs. Wright? Yes? 430 00:31:19,733 --> 00:31:23,362 We haven't met. My name is Gloria. 431 00:31:23,437 --> 00:31:25,302 Gloria Collins. 432 00:31:25,372 --> 00:31:28,899 Oh, yes. Mrs. Davenport is sponsoring you into theJunior League. 433 00:31:28,976 --> 00:31:31,740 No. Buddy's Gloria. 434 00:31:32,780 --> 00:31:36,238 - His new secretary? - No. 435 00:31:36,317 --> 00:31:38,785 I just wanted you to tell you that I know how difficult... 436 00:31:38,852 --> 00:31:40,979 it's going to be going through the divorce. 437 00:31:41,055 --> 00:31:44,855 And I'm going to do everything I can to make it easier on the children. 438 00:31:44,925 --> 00:31:48,361 Sit down, Miss... Collins? 439 00:31:51,298 --> 00:31:54,790 I'm going to try to do this as gracefully as possible. 440 00:31:58,739 --> 00:32:01,333 Buddy and I have an arrangement. 441 00:32:01,408 --> 00:32:04,844 He has his personal life, and I have mine. 442 00:32:04,912 --> 00:32:08,848 Now, whatever lies my husband has obviously told you, 443 00:32:08,916 --> 00:32:11,077 he will never divorce me. 444 00:32:11,151 --> 00:32:13,847 Buddy is far too egotistical to give up the status... 445 00:32:13,921 --> 00:32:16,822 he acquired when he married me. 446 00:32:16,890 --> 00:32:21,850 And if he ever tries, I will strip him to his shorts. 447 00:32:21,929 --> 00:32:26,195 My advice to you, dear, is to quietly close your hope chest on this one, 448 00:32:26,266 --> 00:32:28,530 and try someone else's husband. 449 00:32:28,602 --> 00:32:34,199 Good-bye, Miss Collins. You will forgive me if I don't shake your hand. 450 00:32:38,045 --> 00:32:40,309 What happens tonight that sends her over the deep end? 451 00:32:40,381 --> 00:32:43,282 There's no data on that. All we know... 452 00:32:43,350 --> 00:32:46,683 is that on October 16, 1961, 453 00:32:46,754 --> 00:32:49,279 Gloria Collins committed suicide by... 454 00:32:49,356 --> 00:32:51,756 Samantha! 455 00:32:51,825 --> 00:32:54,157 Bye, Mom. Gloria left. 456 00:32:54,228 --> 00:32:56,526 What? I don't know what happened. 457 00:32:56,597 --> 00:33:01,034 We were talking. She excused herself and went to this table in the next room. 458 00:33:01,101 --> 00:33:04,070 She was talking to a rather attractive woman, 459 00:33:04,138 --> 00:33:07,938 and after a minute or so, Gloria got very upset and she ran out. 460 00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:15,705 - Do you know them? - Unfortunately. 461 00:33:15,783 --> 00:33:18,343 This is it, Sam. Hari-kari time. 462 00:33:18,419 --> 00:33:23,118 Is there anything I can do? Pray. 463 00:33:58,658 --> 00:34:02,025 Gloria, it's Sam. I'm comin' out. 464 00:34:04,264 --> 00:34:06,630 I just wanna talk to you. Go away. 465 00:34:06,700 --> 00:34:10,329 - I can't. You're my friend. - Then let me do this. It's my choice. 466 00:34:10,403 --> 00:34:14,100 - Suicide is not a choice. - Neither is living. 467 00:34:14,174 --> 00:34:19,202 - Why not? - I love him, Sam. 468 00:34:19,279 --> 00:34:23,545 Even realizing what a fool he made of me, I still love him. 469 00:34:23,617 --> 00:34:27,018 I can't pretend I don't. 470 00:34:27,087 --> 00:34:31,649 I can't pretend the pain I feel isn't real, and it'll go away tomorrow. 471 00:34:31,725 --> 00:34:33,989 Suicide won't change that. 472 00:34:34,060 --> 00:34:37,029 It'll end it. 473 00:34:37,097 --> 00:34:41,227 So will time. Only, it'll give you a second chance. 474 00:34:41,301 --> 00:34:44,031 You're not the first woman to love the wrong man. 475 00:34:44,104 --> 00:34:46,368 It doesn't matter anymore. 476 00:34:46,439 --> 00:34:49,897 Gloria, Buddy's not worth dying over! 477 00:34:55,715 --> 00:34:58,149 Is that what I'm doing? 478 00:34:58,218 --> 00:35:00,186 That's what he'll think. 479 00:35:00,253 --> 00:35:04,883 And he'll be right. He'll think you're killing yourself over him. 480 00:35:04,958 --> 00:35:09,759 Do you want to give him that? No. 481 00:35:09,830 --> 00:35:11,764 Give me your hand. 482 00:35:16,570 --> 00:35:19,596 Come on, now. Nice and slow. 483 00:35:19,673 --> 00:35:21,698 Oh. Easy. 484 00:35:21,775 --> 00:35:24,039 Aaah! 485 00:35:24,110 --> 00:35:26,908 It's all right. It's all right. 486 00:35:33,987 --> 00:35:36,251 Sam! 487 00:35:39,626 --> 00:35:41,890 - Kick your shoes off! - I can't! 488 00:35:41,962 --> 00:35:45,955 Grab my leg and kick 'em off. 489 00:35:46,032 --> 00:35:48,296 That's it. 490 00:35:48,368 --> 00:35:49,926 Don't look down! Oh, my God! 491 00:35:50,003 --> 00:35:52,301 Look at me! 492 00:35:52,372 --> 00:35:55,899 Put your left foot toward me. Slide it real easy. 493 00:35:58,612 --> 00:36:00,546 Aren't you gonna... 494 00:36:00,614 --> 00:36:03,174 Keep comin'. Crawl over me. No! 495 00:36:03,250 --> 00:36:07,118 It's the only way. Just do it. 496 00:36:14,527 --> 00:36:17,894 Hang on! 497 00:36:17,964 --> 00:36:21,832 Ah. Ah. 498 00:36:26,973 --> 00:36:29,498 Grab my arm! 499 00:36:29,576 --> 00:36:32,602 Hold on! 500 00:36:32,679 --> 00:36:35,671 I've got you! 501 00:36:47,928 --> 00:36:50,988 I made you some warm milk. 502 00:36:56,136 --> 00:37:00,732 My mom used to bring me warm milk on rainy nights. 503 00:37:00,807 --> 00:37:05,301 Moms know best. 504 00:37:05,378 --> 00:37:07,539 I don't know about that, Sam. 505 00:37:09,582 --> 00:37:12,676 She used to tell me that... 506 00:37:12,752 --> 00:37:15,983 someday a Prince Charming would come along, 507 00:37:16,056 --> 00:37:21,255 and we'd get married and buy a beautiful house... 508 00:37:21,328 --> 00:37:26,061 and have a couple of kids. 509 00:37:26,132 --> 00:37:29,693 She really blew that one. 510 00:37:29,769 --> 00:37:33,728 You're not exactly an old maid. 511 00:37:33,807 --> 00:37:37,072 It's not gonna happen for me. 512 00:37:37,143 --> 00:37:41,443 I've been waiting for nine years, and it's just not gonna happen. 513 00:37:42,782 --> 00:37:44,773 Is that what you've been waiting for? 514 00:37:44,851 --> 00:37:48,116 For a man to come and take you away? 515 00:37:48,188 --> 00:37:52,124 Why do you think I'm in the secretarial pool? 516 00:37:52,192 --> 00:37:54,251 I thought it was because you enjoyed what you were doing. 517 00:37:54,327 --> 00:37:56,261 I hate it. 518 00:37:56,329 --> 00:38:00,163 But that's the only place you can meet eligible guys. 519 00:38:00,233 --> 00:38:02,201 Like Buddy? 520 00:38:04,571 --> 00:38:09,975 Gloria, you can't use your job as an excuse to meet guys. 521 00:38:10,043 --> 00:38:14,605 I can't spend the next 30 years in the secretarial pool either. Then get out. 522 00:38:14,681 --> 00:38:17,844 And do what? Whatever you want. 523 00:38:17,917 --> 00:38:21,648 I... I want... 524 00:38:21,721 --> 00:38:26,055 What? I want to design cars. 525 00:38:26,126 --> 00:38:28,856 Then do it. Right. 526 00:38:28,928 --> 00:38:31,522 I'm gonna go into the office Monday morning and say, 527 00:38:31,598 --> 00:38:36,535 "Excuse me, but I have an art degree and that qualifies me for the design program." 528 00:38:36,603 --> 00:38:38,901 Why not? Because. 529 00:38:38,972 --> 00:38:41,532 There's never been a woman in the program. 530 00:38:41,608 --> 00:38:43,735 Well, then, 531 00:38:45,311 --> 00:38:48,280 you'll have to be the first. 532 00:38:48,348 --> 00:38:50,543 Do you know how hard that would be? 533 00:38:52,352 --> 00:38:57,221 Yeah, I think I do. And you know what? 534 00:38:57,290 --> 00:39:02,023 You're gonna have to be twice as good just to be considered an equal. 535 00:39:02,095 --> 00:39:05,895 I don't know if I can do that, Sam. 536 00:39:05,965 --> 00:39:09,492 I don't know either, but you gotta try. 537 00:39:09,569 --> 00:39:12,970 You have got to be what makes you feel good about yourself. 538 00:39:13,039 --> 00:39:16,167 And then what? 539 00:39:16,242 --> 00:39:19,370 And then maybe you'll like you. 540 00:39:19,446 --> 00:39:23,007 Because if you don't like yourself, Gloria, 541 00:39:23,083 --> 00:39:26,177 no one else will either. 542 00:39:26,252 --> 00:39:30,916 Except guys like Buddy, and you're not that desperate. 543 00:39:34,828 --> 00:39:37,092 I was tonight. 544 00:39:39,799 --> 00:39:42,495 Thank you. 545 00:39:45,071 --> 00:39:47,505 Oh, I hope when the right guy finds you, 546 00:39:47,574 --> 00:39:50,509 he realizes what a good woman you are. 547 00:39:57,350 --> 00:40:00,012 Why don't you get some rest? 548 00:40:00,086 --> 00:40:02,020 Good night, Sam. 549 00:40:08,962 --> 00:40:11,157 Good night. 550 00:40:36,189 --> 00:40:38,316 Ah! Hi, cutie. 551 00:40:38,391 --> 00:40:40,757 You look great in powder blue. 552 00:40:40,827 --> 00:40:44,490 I'm gonna put a bell around your neck. Where were you? 553 00:40:44,564 --> 00:40:47,863 I was with Tina. 554 00:40:47,934 --> 00:40:51,700 I thought you were having problems with Tina. 555 00:40:51,771 --> 00:40:54,638 I was but Beeks fixed that. 556 00:40:54,707 --> 00:40:58,336 She got me to accept you're my best friend, and love is part of friendship. 557 00:40:58,411 --> 00:41:03,212 Once I believed that, I took Tina up to a little cabin in the mountains and... 558 00:41:03,283 --> 00:41:06,980 Well, you know. Yeah. 559 00:41:07,053 --> 00:41:09,681 I know. 560 00:41:09,756 --> 00:41:11,690 We ever gonna be the same? 561 00:41:11,758 --> 00:41:13,726 Course we are, as soon as you leap. 562 00:41:13,793 --> 00:41:16,626 Why haven't I leaped? 563 00:41:16,696 --> 00:41:18,630 Gloria's not gonna try again, is she? 564 00:41:18,698 --> 00:41:23,328 Uh, no, no, no. She's gonna marry, uh, Parker. 565 00:41:23,403 --> 00:41:25,633 The little guy? The guy she met tonight? 566 00:41:25,705 --> 00:41:28,674 Yeah. They're gonna have a couple of kids. 567 00:41:28,741 --> 00:41:32,199 They're gonna move to California. They're gonna raise avocados. 568 00:41:32,278 --> 00:41:35,179 I thought I started women's lib. Hmph. 569 00:41:35,248 --> 00:41:37,876 Well, you did in a way. 570 00:41:37,951 --> 00:41:43,082 Gloria talked Samantha into joining the design program with her. 571 00:41:43,156 --> 00:41:45,317 It turned out Samantha had the real talent. 572 00:41:45,391 --> 00:41:47,985 She ended up heading the entire division. 573 00:41:48,061 --> 00:41:51,053 Oh, and get this. She adopted a little girl... 574 00:41:51,130 --> 00:41:54,793 and started one of the first organizations for single parents in the country. 575 00:41:54,867 --> 00:41:58,303 - She never married? - No. What a waste. 576 00:42:00,173 --> 00:42:02,232 I'm really confused now, Al. 577 00:42:02,308 --> 00:42:06,768 If Gloria's okay and Samantha's emancipated, why haven't I leaped? 578 00:42:06,846 --> 00:42:09,815 Ziggy has a fascinating theory about that. 579 00:42:09,882 --> 00:42:12,817 He says you want to get even with Buddy... 580 00:42:12,885 --> 00:42:16,981 for chasin' you around the office and makin' you wear lipstick. 581 00:42:17,056 --> 00:42:21,288 Revenge? Oh, come on. I'm not leaping because I want revenge? 582 00:42:21,361 --> 00:42:23,955 Very... female. 583 00:42:30,603 --> 00:42:34,630 Al was right. I wanted revenge. 584 00:42:34,707 --> 00:42:38,040 So I slipped into Samantha's spiked heels, 585 00:42:38,111 --> 00:42:43,708 put on the most revealing dress I could get my... hairy chest into, 586 00:42:43,783 --> 00:42:48,948 and was ready to give Buddy a lesson in sexual harassment he'd never forget. 587 00:42:57,930 --> 00:43:02,526 You wanted me? 588 00:43:02,602 --> 00:43:04,661 How's Gloria? 589 00:43:04,737 --> 00:43:08,833 In Ann Arbor, visiting her mother for a few days. 590 00:43:08,908 --> 00:43:13,470 You know, she gave me quite a little upset Saturday night. Well, 591 00:43:13,546 --> 00:43:18,142 that's because Gloria doesn't know how to play the game. 592 00:43:18,217 --> 00:43:20,185 And you do? 593 00:43:24,590 --> 00:43:27,923 What do you think? 594 00:43:35,034 --> 00:43:40,563 I knew it all along. 595 00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:44,406 Yeah. 596 00:43:44,477 --> 00:43:49,073 I had you figured from the start. I did. 597 00:43:49,148 --> 00:43:54,677 All of that playing hard to get in the secretarial pool... 598 00:43:56,222 --> 00:43:59,623 didn't have me fooled for one second. 599 00:44:02,795 --> 00:44:05,923 It didn't? Nope. 600 00:44:05,998 --> 00:44:10,458 You were just waiting for the, uh, "Wright" man. 601 00:44:12,872 --> 00:44:15,864 Was I? 602 00:44:17,944 --> 00:44:21,812 All that coy, "Oh, I don't date married men." 603 00:44:21,881 --> 00:44:23,974 That was just a smoke screen. 604 00:44:24,050 --> 00:44:27,542 Right, baby? 605 00:44:29,622 --> 00:44:32,420 You know me so well. 606 00:44:34,660 --> 00:44:37,322 Buddy, 607 00:44:37,397 --> 00:44:39,331 there's, um... 608 00:44:39,399 --> 00:44:43,426 There's just one thing you don't know. 609 00:44:43,503 --> 00:44:47,098 Tell me, baby. 610 00:44:47,173 --> 00:44:50,802 I'm a man. 611 00:44:50,877 --> 00:44:54,472 What? I'm a man, 612 00:44:54,547 --> 00:44:59,382 a male, a person of the masculine gender. 613 00:45:01,454 --> 00:45:04,252 What are you talking about? 614 00:45:04,323 --> 00:45:08,020 You're trying to make it with a man. 615 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,767 No way. Not with this body. 616 00:45:17,837 --> 00:45:19,896 Bodies can be deceiving. 617 00:45:21,974 --> 00:45:24,704 You can't be a man! 618 00:45:24,777 --> 00:45:27,177 Why, because I turn you on? 619 00:45:27,246 --> 00:45:31,182 W... Yeah. Um, ah... 620 00:45:31,250 --> 00:45:33,810 I-I-I mean, no! 621 00:45:33,886 --> 00:45:37,378 No. Oh, no! I... I, uh... 622 00:45:37,457 --> 00:45:40,722 You, you were a, uh... You mean you had a... 623 00:45:40,793 --> 00:45:43,728 Y-You did a ChristineJorgensen? 624 00:45:43,796 --> 00:45:46,287 No, no. I didn't say I used to be a man. 625 00:45:46,365 --> 00:45:50,267 I said... I am a man. 626 00:45:50,336 --> 00:45:52,998 And I'll prove it to you. 627 00:45:53,072 --> 00:45:56,200 No! 628 00:45:56,275 --> 00:46:02,145 If you look closely, you'll notice that I walk like a man. 629 00:46:02,215 --> 00:46:04,183 I stand like a man. 630 00:46:04,250 --> 00:46:06,514 And I know things that only a man can know. 631 00:46:06,586 --> 00:46:09,146 Like what it feels like to get kicked in the crotch, 632 00:46:09,222 --> 00:46:11,986 how the pain just keeps growing and growing. 633 00:46:12,058 --> 00:46:15,152 And then that wonderful sensation when it finally subsides. 634 00:46:15,228 --> 00:46:19,096 Or what it's like to walk around high school with your books in front of you... 635 00:46:19,165 --> 00:46:23,192 to cover up an embarrassing case of pubescent hormonal overload. 636 00:46:23,269 --> 00:46:25,430 You had a brother? 637 00:46:25,505 --> 00:46:28,941 Does a brother tell his sister what he did looking at his first centerfold? 638 00:46:31,777 --> 00:46:34,211 No, you stay away from me. 639 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,214 I thought I turned you on. 640 00:46:37,783 --> 00:46:41,275 I don't have time for this stupid game. 641 00:46:41,354 --> 00:46:45,051 Speaking of games, why don't I show you how I throw a baseball. 642 00:46:50,463 --> 00:46:53,864 Or better yet, how I throw a punch. 643 00:47:06,812 --> 00:47:11,909 Not yet. Not yet. 644 00:47:16,053 --> 00:47:19,489 I'm ready to leap now. 645 00:47:35,340 --> 00:47:37,274 Oh, boy.