The hard part about time travel is that it often leaves me in the dark.
Fortunately, there always seems to be someone around to offer me a helping hand...
or paw.
But no matter whether my faithful companion has two legs or four,
it doesn't really matter.
I usually wind up doing the dirty work myself.
But that's okay, because helping people out...
is like music to my ears.
Chick! Huh?
Chick!
Earth to Chick.
Stop clowning around and read the commercial.
Today.
I'm sorry. Um, what were you saying?
You see that piece of paper in your hand?
- Uh-huh. - Read it. Into the microphone.
Oh, my God. I'm a deejay.
So...
So, come taste the hottest new flavors...
at the coolest place in town,
at Boorman... Boor... Boor... Boor...
Boorman's Frosty Freeze Ice Cream.
Pistachio, coffee, and now tutti-frutti.
Chick, may I see you for a moment?
- Right now? - No.
After Ike gets out of office.
Right.
So, Eisenhower was still president.
That meant I was somewhere in the '50s. Well, it was a start.
Man, I never thought I'd live to see Howlin' Chick Howell play Pat Boone.
We're talkin' weird.
Sometimes, you know, weird things just happen.
Yeah, like unemployment.
Particularly to deejays who go blank on the air.
Every once in a while you meet someone who instantly rubs you the wrong way.
You don't know why. They just do. And for some reason,
you just wanna rub 'em back.
Do you know why my father started this station?
- As a tax dodge? - Because he loved music. And so do I.
I think that makes it unanimous.
- They told me you never took anything seriously. Now I believe them. - I take lots of things seriously.
- Name two. - Quantum physics and time travel.
No wonder you've had 12 jobs in the last eight years.
What are you so wound up about? Come on. It's only... rock and roll.
Three words. "Chick, you're fired"?
Your record's ending.
Will suddenly bring showers
Rain to grow
The flowers
Man, you've really got it bad for her, don't you? Who?
Rachel. Rachel?
Uh... Uh, forget it. No. No way.
Nice try, Kemo Sabe, but old Brian knows all, sees all.
Ever since you've been here, you've been makin' goo-goo eyes at her.
I have? Mm-hmm. But I'm tellin' you.
She's only got time for one thing in her life...
to carry on the work of her sainted father.
And that's it.
Hey, what are you doin'? Uh, just gettin' ready...
to spin some more stacks of wax.
Just do your sign-off and get out of here.
I got a shift to do. Mouths to feed.
Cars to pay off. Homes to repair.
This is... Howlin' Chick Howell...
on, um,
"fow"...
uh, WOF, 730 AM,
signing off.
Couldn't think of anything snappy to say.
Sometimes happens.
Man, you've really got it bad.
Now, now, Fred.
I appreciate your opinion,
but no matter how many editorials you publish, I am not gonna stop playing rock and roll.
I'm not asking you to change everything you do, Rachel. Just don't play those records.
You talk about rock and roll like it's some kind of contagious disease, like... like...
Chicken pox?
No, I think it's just inappropriate.
And so would your father.
You don't know the first thing about what my father would say to this.
Rachel, I am not the only one worried...
about what rock and roll is gonna do to the kids in this city.
You... You don't seriously believe...
that-that music is a threat to the kids, do you?
- Chick, stay out of this. - Believe it, Sam.
A lot of people did back in the '50s.
Well, that's ridiculous. Chick.
You think it's ridiculous to be concerned about the welfare of our children?
Or the undermining of family values?
No, it's just that...
What we're talking about, it's just music.
What we are talking about...
is the future of America.
Is this guy a dinosaur or what?
Oh, you think that's funny?
No, sir. I don't think it's funny. Well, I do!
So did I. I thought it was hysterical.
I think what Rachel is trying to say...
is that the idea that music...
can make people misbehave is wrong.
And even if it were true, which it isn't,
isn't this just simply a matter of... of people not...
listening to a particular radio station that might be playing music...
that they might not want heard played?
You don't have kids, do you, Mr. Howell?
You can't watch 'em 24 hours a day.
Soon as you turn your back, they do exactly what they want.
And then some.
I'm sure that you and the other parents...
have instilled in your children proper family values...
so that they know what's right and what's wrong,
so that no matter what they listen to, they'll do the right thing.
Rachel, I didn't want to have to do this.
Here comes the windup. You leave me no choice.
Here comes the pitch. I'm pulling my advertising.
From now on, my paper and my hardware store will do their radio spots elsewhere.
Oh, come on, Fred! And believe me,
so will a lot of other businesses.
I carry a fair amount of weight in this town.
Yeah, and a lot of it's hangin' over your belt.
Go ahead. Pull your advertising. See if I care.
You may not. But what about all the other people who work for you and their families?
I'm not gonna stop playing rock and roll.
- Maybe you won't have a choice. - What do you mean by that?
I mean that tomorrow at the city council meeting,
I intend to propose a law that will ban rock and roll from being played over the airwaves.
You can't do that!
Good-bye, Fred.
Can he?
I don't know. Uh, maybe they could pass some kind of weird blue law.
What are you looking at?
I was just thinking that you...
handled that... well.
Thank you.
Oh, and Chick... Yes?
If you're late again tomorrow, you're fired.
Sounds like love to me.
Can you believe her?
Who?
Who... Rachel. Uh... Oh. Oh.
Uh, well, Ziggy figures there's a 92.4% certainty...
that you're here to save her.
Well, I hope she doesn't die, because the way I feel right now, I just might let her.
No, she doesn't die. But the station does.
In about a year.
And then after that, her life goes right downhill.
So in order to save Rachel, I gotta save the station.
Yeah. You gotta make the station number one.
The only way to do that is rock and roll.
Holy mackerel! Look at this beautiful 'Vette!
"Chick Howell." Oh, that's... This is your car.
Uh-oh.
Why do I get the feeling this is not gonna be so easy?
You're on time! 2:46 to spare.
Do you have even the faintest idea of what your first record is going to be?
Something, uh, by the Beatles.
Who are the Beatles?
Oh, you mean... you mean Buddy Holly and the Crickets, don't you?
Uh, right. Yeah. Right. Beatles, Crickets...
they're all related.
Yeah.
Buenos dias. Boy am I glad to see you.
I gotta play some music, Al. I don't remember anything. What about this?
Ah, no good. That's a "No."
Johnny Horton, "The Battle of New Orleans"?
Sam, get real. I don't remember any music, Al.
This is not about music. This is about talking.
We got the team to make the girls scream. The man of the hour with the radio power.
The doctor of love that knows... What's the matter?
Say it out loud. You gotta get this in two minutes, Sam! We got the team...
that makes the girls scream... You got a piece of paper and a pencil?
Get a paper and pencil.
You're going on the air. We got the team...
Hey! Didn't you see the movie?
Good morning, Peoria! Ow!
This is Howlin' Chick Howell...
comin'to you live on WOF.
Would you excuse me, folks, for just a second?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but is there a dog in here?
Excuse me. Is there a dog... Would you get off my lap...
Oh... Oop... Oop. Sorry.
Sorry. My mistake, folks. That's our advertising manager.
Would you let go of my leg? Let go! Would you let go...
And stay out!
Great. Finally, a parking space for me.
And speaking of space,
how about those Russians, huh?
Hey, I had a great idea. Instead of monkeys,
why don't we stick old Khrushchev on the end of a satellite and throw him into orbit?
I mean, how many Alfred Hitchcock look-alikes do we need, anyway?
Talk about your Vertigo. Whoa!
And don't look down!
But enough chat-chit. Let's put on a hit.
Goodness gracious, it's Jerry Lee Lewis, "Great Balls of Fire,"
which is probably what old Nikita baby will be singing upon reentry.
I just made a complete and total idiot out of myself.
Well, if it's any consolation, I think they liked it, Sam.
This is great, Al.
Flash. President Eisenhower, in a surprise move,
resigned from office this morning in order to join a Buddhist monastery.
Said Ike, "I just like being around guys with less hair than me. "
Something...
just hot off the presses.
This just in from Washington. The F.T.C. announced yesterday...
a campaign to end misrepresentation in advertising.
Executives at the Himalaya Bra Company...
could not be reached for comment.
Ooh! And neither could my girlfriend. Neither could my girlfriend.
- I'm dyin', Al. - Don't quit now, Sam. You're on a roll.
Say anything. Tell 'em something you know about.
Something I know about? Uh...
Boy, have I got a surprise for you campers.
The Invisible Man has dropped by to say a few words.
So tell me, Viz,
what's your favorite part about being invisible?
Women's dressing room at Landon's Department Store.
And-And, uh, what's the worst part?
Trying to find my mouth with my cigar.
And that's nothing compared to when you get the Invisible Girl in the backseat of the car.
Al, this is incredible.
I feel like a different person.
It's like I've been given... a license to play.
To be... a-a completely different person.
Well, like, you know, like they're gonna say in the '60s,
like, "Let it all hang out," like.
Man, you are on fire.
Well, y... Sometimes you just get lucky, that's all.
Whoa!
Then again,
sometimes you don't.
I remember where my father built this console.
- He did it in our garage. - Ow!
- You all right? - Yeah, yeah.
- Started like the guys at Apple, huh? - What's Apple?
Uh, no, no. "Wapple."
WAPL. It's a radio station I worked for in upstate New York.
Oh.
I used to sit and watch him for hours.
He was determined to have the number-one radio station on Earth... or at least Peoria.
Is that what you want?
No. I want to have the number-one radio station in the universe.
But right now, I'd settle for just getting right back on the air.
Maybe I can help you with that.
I can't believe that you did it.
Well...
Oh, my God!
- What? - Sam, you gotta see this.
What is it, Al? It is. It's Chubby Checker!
Chubby Checker? I can't believe it!
Do I know you? Friend of yours?
- Sam! - Uh...
Yes! It's Chubby Checker.
- Huh? - Come on, baby Let's do the Twist
"The Twist"!
It's a pretty good demo, but I was just tellin' him...
I don't think it's really... it really has what it takes.
- The Twist? - Say, can I borrow that for my act?
Uh, sure. But I-I got it from-from you.
Sam! Sam! If you want this station to be number one,
tell her to play that demo!
If you want this station to be number one, you gotta play this demo.
That's good. I like that.
Okay, I'll give it a play.
I mean, assuming I can still play rock and roll after the council meeting.
Believe me, nobody is gonna pass a law banning rock and roll.
- Hey, I like that. That's good. - Come on, baby
I can't believe it! Without rock and roll, I am dead.
It was my ticket to number one! The station was actually starting to make money with it.
Now what am I gonna do? Play classical or jazz?
I'll be lucky if I don't have to sell the station in a year.
She could hold out another 18 months...
if she doesn't eat or pay any salaries. Well... Maybe...
I had Ziggy run some figures, and it's grim with a capital "G."
Maybe... maybe you can make an appeal.
With whom? The Supreme Court? That'll be quick.
No, no, no, no. With rock and roll, I had a chance.
Now all we can do is pull up the drawbridge, get ready for the dark ages...
That's it. What?
Sam, I don't like that look in your eye.
We're gonna go back and pull up the drawbridge. Sam!
Mr. Mayor. Leland.
Sheriff. Well, you did it, Fred.
Yes, we did, didn't we? Got the headline all ready.
"Rock and Roll Is Told to Stroll."
Before you know it, he'll be buckin' for your job.
Just tryin' to move up in the organization.
Oh, well, in that case... Millie, three more menus,
and give Leland the bill.
Sam, I think this last leap back in time...
has added more holes to that Swiss cheese brain of yours,
because this... this is completely harebrained.
Chick, your record's ending.
Okay, okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, this afternoon the city council passed a law, effective immediately,
that forbids the airplay of music known as rock and roll.
Now, we here at WOF believe that is wrong,
and accordingly, we intend to keep playing rock and roll...
until we can persuade them to change their minds.
So with that in mind... Damn it!
Honey! It's only music!
That they're not allowed to play.
...In a non-hysterical way what we're going to do.
Coming to you live... almost live...
from the interstellar, out-of-the-cellar, stand-up-and-tell-her rock group,
Bill Haley and the Comets, Comets, Comets, Comets!
I want him off the air now. Break down the door if you have to. Just do it.
Honey, they're not bank robbers. Theora...
That's private property, Fred.
With private citizens who are openly breaking the law.
Which you are sworn to uphold. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Look, I'm not gonna tell anybody to go bustin' down any doors, particularly with a reelection coming up.
Now, bad publicity is something none of us needs.
But that's exactly what this will be if we don't do somethin'about it.
Maybe we can do this another way. What do you mean?
I mean, there's more than one way to skin a cat.
Well, if we're gonna go down in flames,
I'll help you pick out the records.
This one is really wild.
That's perfect.
I'd like to read you something that, uh, we dug out of the news files here from the Peoria Dispatch.
It was written a couple of weeks ago by your friend and mine, Frederick R. Beaman.
"I am not against music. I love music. But rock and roll is not music.
"It is nothing more than the half-articulate speech of a group of people of extreme dress and style...
whose radical intention is to excite and inflame the youth of our community."
Now I would like to read you something...
written by a group of long-haired, weirdly dressed radicals...
in 1791.
It's called the First Amendment.
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...
"or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech,
"or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble...
and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."
Now, I believe in the freedom of the press, and I believe that Mr. Beaman has a right to print...
whatever he wants to about rock and roll.
But the First Amendment also guarantees freedom of speech.
And since Mr. Beaman also admits that rock and roll is at least in some form speech...
uh, "half articulate speech," to be exact...
then I guess that rock and roll is also guaranteed by the First Amendment,
and we'd just like to exercise that right.
But, hey, enough seriousness.
It's time to get back into the swing of things,
and what better way than by taking a sea cruise?
Oh, that was good!
Yeah.
It's your station. My hero.
WOF. Oh, hello, Fred.
- No, we're perfectly serious. - Old man rhythm is in my shoes
- Well, you know where to find us. - It's no use sittin' here and singin'the blues
So be my guest You've got nothing to lose Damn!
Won't you let me take you on a sea cruise
Ooh-wee Ooh-wee, baby Fred Beaman, I hate you!
Ooh-wee Ooh-wee, baby
But the question is,
I mean, why does he hate you and rock and roll?
I don't know.
You know, I think until he got on this kick, nobody paid much attention to him.
And now he sorta likes being the focal point.
Yeah, I guess so... Oh, damn. The lights went out.
No kidding. You got any kind of a backup?
A-A generator or something?
Uh, there's a civil defense generator in the basement, but I don't know how to work it.
I don't even know if it does work. Only one way to find out.
Chick!
Sorry. I was just trying, uh, find, uh, the door.
Doorknobs are usually placed a little lower, aren't they?
They're off the air.
Front page tomorrow, Leland.
No more rock and roll in Peoria.
All righty. Here's where we separate the men from the boys.
Okay, so I'm only... 12.
Okay. All right.
All right.
Ouch!
Come on.
All set? Okay, on three. Yep.
Ready? One, two, three!
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Let there be light.
Good evening, Peoria!
Yes! I know what you're thinking.
You're saying to yourselves, "Hey, where's my good old buddy Howlin'Chick"...
"been for the last hour and a half?"
Well, the honest truth is, I was kidnapped by spacemen,
taken somewhere into the future and forced to eat Chinese food for a week.
Oh, and I'm still hungry.
Mmm. But now the good news is, I'm back. And I know exactly what all the hits are gonna be in the future,
and here's one right now.
Next time,
I get a generator that can work the transmitter and the air conditioning at the same time.
Yeah, I'll drink to that.
Maybe I'll let you buy me one after this.
Ooh, yeah Just like this
Uh, the... phone.
WOF. Rachel? Fred.
Welcome back.
I don't know how you did it, but it sure was a slick trick. Unfortunately, you're still breaking the law.
Now, I've been talking to some of my fellow advertisers.
You keep this up, and they might not go back to you even if you do drop rock and roll.
I'm afraid that's right, Rachel.
Now, I'm holdin' 'em back for right now,
but I don't know how much longer I can do it.
Tell him he'd better try harder, because as soon as we hang up, we're gonna call every newspaper, radio and TV station in the state.
We'll find out how much he likes bad P.R.
Oh, Fred, in about ten seconds,
I'm gonna call every news organization in this state.
I'll be seeing you on the front page.
Damn!
You mind if I ask you a personal question?
Well, since my saying no probably won't stop you,
go ahead.
Why are you doing this?
Seriously.
There was a poem...
in high school, I think, that I never forgot...
until now.
I think it ended with...
"And everywhere, the ceremony of innocence is drowned.
"The best lack all conviction,
while the worst are full of passionate intensity."
I guess I just think it's time for the best to exhibit a little passionate intensity.
And now it's your turn.
Well,
I think it's partly because it's what my father would've done.
- Sounds like he was a great guy. - Oh, he was.
He had great plans for this place.
He wanted to be the first to broadcast in stereo.
Oh! Oh! And he always used to say,
"The future of radio is FM, Rachel."
FM. He was such a dreamer.
Oh, I'm not sure that's such a bad dream.
Chick! Chick, the record.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Yeah, well, you know, for the last couple of minutes,
you folks have been listening to something by, uh, Dull Needle and the Statics.
A lot of people find it repetitive. I like to think of it as just plain, old daring.
Okay. For all you dancing machines out there who didn't rest,
here's a little change of pace to help you catch your breath.
No, it's a request that's just come in from, uh, me,
and I'd like to dedicate it...
to the girl I'd most like to share a civil defense shelter with.
What'd you do that for?
For taking advantage of me in a weak moment.
Advantage? Well, yes.
What would you call it? I'd call it love.
- We were dancing, and... - No, no, no, no.
I would call it rampaging hormones.
I think you were starting to enjoy it,
and you got scared.
- Maybe I just didn't like it. - She's lying, Sam.
It's like in the third grade. You only pull the pigtails of the one you love.
Maybe you were afraid of liking it too much.
That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
Good, Sam. Now, come on. Make a move.
- Is it? - Now, go in for the kill.
Yeah, that-that's it. Now move in real fast, like you're gonna kiss her real hard,
but then...
Looks like you've already got the hang of it.
Uh...
Well, geez louise. Uh...
Seems like you've got everything under control here.
Maybe you should put on a long-playing record.
There he goes.
Uh-oh. Hey, you can't do that!
Oh, good try, folks.
Oh, boy.
What?
We're not... We're not broadcasting anymore.
Sam, they've cut the transmission cables.
It looks like we're off the air permanently.
Rock, rock, rock and roll! Rock, rock, rock and roll!
Looks like they cut our transmission cable.
I just said that.
Of all the lowdown, sleazy, cheap things to do...
You can say that again. You cooked up this whole thing just to get me alone with you.
What? What?
I knew I should never have listened to you!
Me? You're the one who wanted to do this.
You're the one who wanted to barricade us in here.
Rachel! How do I know that we're even off the air?
Look at the meters! Listen to the radio!
How do I know you didn't just rig this up this afternoon when you were fixing it?
Right. I suppose I made a deal with Beaman to call you on the phone?
I wouldn't put it past you! Now I'm gonna lose my radio station, and it's all because of...
Oh, hell. It isn't because of you. God, I should've done what they said!
I should've stopped playing rock and roll. Ooh! That's blasphemy.
Next thing you know, she's gonna be stepping on Elvis's blue suede shoes.
Look, Rachel, I know what you're thinking,
but now's the time when you gotta hang tough.
It's no use. You can't fight city hall.
Sure, you can. You just gotta keep pluggin'away at it.
Don't let 'em wear you down. They're human. They get tired.
They wanna go home too.
But to make this station number one...
Is that... Is that really what this is all about?
- No. - Attagirl. That's the way to talk.
I didn't think so.
Phone.
When it rains, it pours.
Calling to gloat, Fred?
No, not exactly. We're just kind of wonderin' when you're gonna come out now that you can't broadcast anymore.
I'm not coming out, Fred.
If I have to make an antenna out of bobby pins,
I'm going back on the air... with rock and roll.
I don't think that's such a good idea, Rachel.
Sheriff Foley here is about to run out of patience. He might just arrest you if you do.
Tell Sheriff Foley to take his nightstick and shove it...
Jake?
That was great.
You said, "When it rains, it pours"?
Yeah. What kind of gutters are on this building?
I don't know. They're sort of old and green. Copper!
Oh, we may be on the air sooner than you think.
Rock, rock, rock and roll! Rock, rock, rock and roll!
Sam, your face is gettin' kinda pink.
It's gonna match your shirt in a minute.
Al, why am I doing this?
Uh, you need to get one more merit badge before you make Eagle.
You know what I mean. Rachel already stood up to Beaman.
She proved she can turn this station around.
She can, if the Mongol horde down there will let her.
You don't have any horde repellent on you, do you?
What? Hit it!
Okay!
Hey. Look, Sam! I'm... I'm leaping!
No you're not leaping. You're standing too close to the antenna. Move away.
- Huh? - Move away.
Come on. Move away.
See? Rats.
Mr. Beaman, what exactly prompted your campaign against rock and roll?
It's simple. I'm an American.
I want to keep what's good and right about America intact. Anything that threatens that, well...
I'm a fighter, not a watcher. You can say that again.
Dagnabbit, if they keep this up, I'm gonna have to change my name to...
They're back on the air. Damn it to hell!
But hey, I know how much you love old Howlin' Chick...
But what you're really here for is, uh, rock and roll.
Mayor, you oughta consider rescinding your law.
We're not rescinding anything!
If you'd done what you were supposed to do and arrested Rachel when I told you, none of this would've happened.
Arresting somebody's the last thing we should do. That's liable to set this whole thing off.
I think Jake's right, Fred. The last thing we need in front of all this press is trouble.
My God. Some of this press is even national.
What we need is to show them that we know how to handle things like this!
If you don't, I do. Fred, what are you doing?
Someone's trying to get in!
- Leave my station alone! - You broke the law, Rachel!
A stupid law, Fred! Couch. Come on.
Sam, forget the couch. That's not gonna stop Beaman.
Oh, I think I'm gonna get a hernia. You got any better ideas?
- Well, I'm just following you! - I got Ziggy workin' on it.
As a matter of fact, look!
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Come on. I know a way to stop Beaman.
Frank, stop it!
I'd like to read you something we found in our news files...
dated August 16, 1945,
the day after theJapanese surrendered, and World War II ended.
"The guns are silent now,
"and so are many of the men whose hands once held them.
"Never again will they see their wives or mothers.
"Never again will they hear their children laugh.
"And never again will they smell the sweet scents of home.
"And for what?
"For what did these husbands and fathers, these brothers and sons,
"give their lives so many thousands of miles from home?
"I say it was for one word, and that word is 'freedom.'
"The freedom to pray.
"To write, to speak, to feel, to be.
"As we see fit, and not as others would dictate to us.
"To this freedom, which has been so dearly bought for us,
"it is up to us, the living, to dedicate our lives and our futures...
to its eternal protection."
These words were written by Frederick Beaman,
the editor of the Peoria Dispatch.
And I sincerely hope that Mr. Beaman...
would see it in his heart that...
all we are looking for here...
is... a little freedom too.
But, uh, this is different.
We-We fought for freedom.
Thi... This is...
Come on, Fred. Let's go home.
Why haven't I leaped?
I don't know. Oh.
According to Ziggy, uh,
Rachel sticks with rock and roll, and WOF becomes...
the number-one station in Peoria!
And a year later, she and you get married!
Married? Is that a proposal?
Well? Well, uh, I just think we should get to know each other a little better.
Fine. You can buy me breakfast.
After you finish your shift.
Don't say a word.
Omeyn
And today, Karen Basch is a bat mitzvah.
Rabbi. Nu?
Oy vey. I'm the rabbi.