1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:05,063
Theorizing that one could time travel
within his own lifetime,
2
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:08,835
Dr. Sam Beckett stepped
into the Quantum Leap accelerator...
3
00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:10,842
and vanished.
4
00:00:15,168 --> 00:00:17,762
He awoke to find himself
trapped in the past,
5
00:00:17,787 --> 00:00:21,382
facing mirror images
that were not his own...
6
00:00:21,407 --> 00:00:25,537
and driven by an unknown force
to change history for the better.
7
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:30,504
His only guide on this journey is Al,
an observer from his own time,
8
00:00:31,019 --> 00:00:35,615
who appears in the form of a hologram
that only Sam can see and hear.
9
00:00:35,999 --> 00:00:40,299
And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself
leaping from life to life,
10
00:00:40,324 --> 00:00:43,418
striving to put right
what once went wrong...
11
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:46,276
and hoping each time
that his next leap...
12
00:00:46,601 --> 00:00:48,831
will be the leap home.
13
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,178
Quantum leaping through time,
I've leaped into an electric chair,
14
00:00:57,257 --> 00:01:00,658
gunfights, and a variety ofhandcuffs.
15
00:01:00,715 --> 00:01:03,548
It looks like I finally
rated a cushy time.
16
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,825
Thank you.
17
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,833
No.
18
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,170
Thank you.
19
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,075
Good morning, tiger.
20
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:22,912
Good morning.
No, no, you gotta stop doing that.
21
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,713
You want me to stop?
No. Yes, please. Please!
22
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,720
Mom.
23
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,188
My God, Mom.
What would Dad say?
24
00:01:32,518 --> 00:01:33,689
Oh, boy.
25
00:02:50,176 --> 00:02:53,236
I mean what would he say?
26
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:58,910
I can well imagine that
this might look a little...
27
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,504
Neil, your father has been
dead for three years,
28
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,675
and not once during that time
has he said a word.
29
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,775
I don't think he's gonna start now.
30
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,946
Jane.
Don't...
31
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,150
Oh, I'm so sorry.
32
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,490
We, uh, wanted to surprise you.
33
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,497
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
34
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:21,193
- A day early.
- That's very nice of you.
35
00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:28,330
Uh, Joe, this is, uh,
36
00:03:28,355 --> 00:03:30,619
my son Neil and his wife, Liz.
37
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:34,161
This is Joe Thurlow.
Joe is an actor.
38
00:03:34,395 --> 00:03:37,489
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
39
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:42,783
You know, maybe we could just
meet you in the other room
in just a second or so, huh?
40
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:46,019
Oh, sure.
41
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:49,324
Come on. Come on, Neil.
42
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:55,191
I told you we should've called first.
Oh, I feel so embarrassed.
43
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,101
Don't say it.
44
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,140
Say what?
45
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:05,372
That Neil looks
a little older than 19.
46
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:09,211
Actually, no, he looks
a lot more like 30.
47
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:12,911
That's because he is 30.
48
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,920
Thirty?
49
00:04:17,419 --> 00:04:21,082
Either you're incredibly polite,
or you don't know how to subtract.
50
00:04:21,107 --> 00:04:24,668
I'm not gonna be 40.
I'm gonna be 50...
51
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:28,568
and a grandmother.
52
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,865
I hate birthdays.
53
00:04:30,911 --> 00:04:34,039
I hate surprises.
54
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:38,271
Come on.
You don't look a day over...
55
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,210
Thirty-nine.
56
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,524
I don't understand it.
57
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,526
You're a woman.
Why don't you ask her?
58
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:57,496
- I am not going to ask her. You ask her.
- Ask me what?
59
00:04:57,537 --> 00:05:02,668
- Uh, how you like New York
compared to Cleveland?
- I'm having the time of my life.
60
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:06,137
I'm singing for the first time
in years and it feels great.
61
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:10,702
- That's my tape playing.
- That's you?
62
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:14,305
- Mm-hmm.
- Neil, she's fabulous.
63
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,849
Well, Joe thinks I have
a great career ahead of me.
64
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:21,684
Yeah. Well, so do I.
I mean, I-I do. I do.
65
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,986
Uh, what's this?
66
00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:28,222
Oh, Joe took me on my first
peace march last week.
67
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:31,526
Peace march, singing career.
68
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:35,056
What's next? I mean,
am I gonna have to start
calling him "Dad," or something?
69
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,763
Joe is just a friend.
70
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,672
I'm sorry, Mom,
but it all looks so...
71
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:46,202
- Oh, never mind. Never mind.
- So, you're pregnant.
72
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:49,909
- Yeah.
- Oh, I got some things for the baby.
73
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:53,043
- Oh, that's so sweet of you.
- They're in the other room. I'll go get them.
74
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,113
Oh, here. No, let me...
let me go get...
Let me.
75
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,125
Joe, uh,
Mm-hmm?
76
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:02,321
Why don't you stay
and chat with Neil?
77
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:07,093
Yes, let's chat.
78
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,931
These are beautiful.
Thank you so much.
79
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,169
And this is for you.
80
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:19,110
Oh, goody.
81
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,439
Watercolors.
82
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:29,346
Thank you.
By the way, all the folks back home
said to send you their love.
83
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:33,917
Everybody misses you, Jane,
and especially us.
I miss you too.
84
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,224
And even though you've made
a lot of new friends here,
85
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:39,629
there's no friends like...
86
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,158
like old friends at home.
87
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,969
Liz, what are you trying to say?
88
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:52,137
Well, just that it must be nice
to have someone so young
paying attention to you.
89
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:56,012
Oh, Joe is the best thing
that's happened to me
in a long, long time.
90
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,847
Please, be happy for me.
Oh, I want to, Jane.
91
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,410
I really do, but...
But what?
92
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:07,120
Well, it's just that I always pictured you
with someone who's old enough to vote.
93
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,330
What did you do
before you were an actor?
94
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:19,600
Uh, this and that.
Hmm.
95
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:23,473
Did you go to school?
Huh? Oh, yeah.
Oh, you bet I did.
96
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,536
How was your trip out?
Which school did you go to?
97
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,275
Which school did I go to?
I went to, uh...
98
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:33,149
I went to a lot of different schools.
99
00:07:33,246 --> 00:07:37,080
First time in New York?
You have graduated
from high school, haven't you?
100
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:40,855
Yes, he did. And for the record,
101
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:46,195
he's 25 and has voted in every
presidential election since, uh...
102
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,666
Uh, Ford and Carter.
Who are they?
103
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,838
Nixon and McGovern.
I don't know what I was...
104
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,703
Uh, darling.
Hmm?
105
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:58,040
Nixon ran against
Hubert Humphrey last year.
106
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:01,046
You've been voting since
theJohnson-Goldwater election.
107
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,139
Right. I voted for
Johnson and Goldwater.
108
00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:05,583
You know, I am tired.
109
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,722
Why don't we go back
to the hotel and freshen up?
110
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,724
We're staying at the Hampstead.
111
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:15,250
And tonight we'd like to
take you someplace special.
112
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,263
Uh...
Your choice.
113
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,492
We want your 50th birthday
to be one you won't forget.
114
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,832
Oh, boy.
Mm-hmm,
you can say that again.
115
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,543
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
116
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,738
Bye.
Thanks again.
117
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,182
A singing career.
Of course she fell for him.
118
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:40,277
Maybe he just likes her voice.
It is possible, you know.
119
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:44,450
Yes. Yes. So is my dancing Swan Lake
in a tutu, but highly unlikely.
120
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:50,891
And did you see
that outfit she had on?
She's in love and you're jealous.
121
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:54,297
Jealous? Jealous?
Liz, he's five years younger than me.
122
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:59,067
What could he possibly see in her?
Neil, your mother
is a wonderful woman.
123
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,597
She lied to me.
They're shacking up.
124
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,906
She's lost it.
I swear, she's lost it.
125
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,912
They think I've lost it.
126
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:10,279
Oh, I didn't get that really.
127
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,716
I really wasn't much help, was I?
128
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,812
Oh, Joe, I'm sorry I didn't tell them
that you were living here.
129
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,256
I know how bad
you want to get married
and get this all out in the open,
130
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:22,887
but, well, maybe it's
just not the right time.
131
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:26,455
- Okay.
- The kids need more time
to get to know you better, you know?
132
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:31,698
Well, that's fine.
They can get to know me tonight
at your birthday party.
133
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,969
Birthday party, my foot.
They want me to come back to Cleveland.
134
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:38,478
Is that what Liz told you?
Well, not in so many words,
but I know it's true.
135
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,207
They think I'm too old
to start singing.
136
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:44,512
And worse, they think
I'm too old to be in love.
137
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,644
Uh-oh. Look at the time.
You better hurry.
Huh?
138
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,621
There's your script.
Script?
139
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:53,387
- My Danish prince.
- "H-Hamlet. '"
140
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,793
I'm so proud of you. The lead
in your first New York production.
141
00:09:56,863 --> 00:10:02,358
In front of people?
Well, okay, so there were only
80 people the opening week,
142
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:05,928
but even Laurence Olivier
had to start somewhere.
143
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:08,615
Oh, boy. Yeah. Hmm.
144
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:15,440
To be or...
145
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,507
not to be...
146
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,450
that is the question.
No!
147
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,422
No, no, no.
148
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,857
Joe,
149
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,259
you're not breathing.
150
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,263
Feeling, smelling.
151
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,027
Smelling?
Everybody, listen and learn.
152
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,035
Sensory acting.
153
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:39,436
- This is...
- Denmark, 1500.
154
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,940
Deception is in the air.
155
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:45,501
- Everything is...
- Damp, musty, frigid.
156
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:49,913
That sounds like my third wife,
or was it my second or fourth...
most of my wives.
157
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,042
Smell.
158
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:57,147
Can you smell
those Danish fjords, Joe?
159
00:10:57,224 --> 00:11:02,821
To be, or not... to be.
That is the question.
160
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,887
And the answer is this guy
should be in a straightjacket.
161
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,331
What's so funny?
162
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:09,926
I was just kind of...
163
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,904
Smelling Hamlet's insanity.
164
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,464
I thought so. Yes, that's right.
Do it. Now use the words.
165
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,740
Ah, whether it is nobler in the mind...
166
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:26,616
To suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune.
167
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:30,589
Go with it.
Or to take arms against a...
168
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:33,251
Sea of troubles,
and by opposing end them.
169
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:37,922
To die. To sleep no more.
170
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:42,165
That was absolutely marvelous!
171
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:45,602
Oh Joe, if only you'd smelled
like that last week.
172
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:48,300
But that's the past.
This is the present.
We must go on.
173
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,900
And if we all work
very, very, very hard,
174
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:53,878
tomorrow night
we just might have a chance.
175
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:56,040
Take five.
176
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,878
You are so far out.
Oh, well...
177
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:07,052
- It's really intense watching you.
- I know just what you mean.
178
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:11,257
I didn't know
your mother was coming.
Mother?
179
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,265
Mother? Every guy should have
a mother like that.
180
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,632
That is if she's your mother...
I hope she's not your mother.
181
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:19,433
- Hi.
- Hi.
182
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:23,738
Neil and Liz want to meet us for dinner
tonight at the Black Light Club, 8:00.
183
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:28,076
So, uh, come home early, okay?
Mm-hmm.
184
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,412
That-That must beJane,
185
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:34,113
and that must be Petra.
186
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:37,588
You know, Sam,
I know Jane is attractive,
187
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:41,855
but don't you think maybe she's
a little, uh, long in the tooth for you?
188
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:45,295
Her teeth look just great to me.
No, no, no.
189
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:48,766
I mean, don't you think
she's more right for me?
Oh, no. No, no.
190
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:51,702
She's much too sophisticated for you.
She's too old for you, Sam.
191
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:55,105
Men marry younger women all the time.
And I think it's a crummy double standard.
192
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,473
That says that women
can't do the same thing.
She's too...
193
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:01,605
Why am I talkin' to you?
What am I here for?
194
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,279
Jane doesn't die, does she?
Oh, no.
195
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,186
It's much worse than death.
What?
196
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,816
In two days, she goes home.
197
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,326
Home? Do I go...
Does Joe go with her?
198
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,852
No. She spends
the rest of her life alone.
Alone?
199
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,455
Without love.
Without love?
200
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:22,366
In Cleveland.
In Clev...
201
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:36,310
So I must be here to keep
Jane and Joe together, right?
202
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:39,580
I don't know.
You don't know?
What do you mean?
203
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:43,180
September 10, 1969.
That's tomorrow.
204
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,589
That's right, it is.
Yeah.
205
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:50,096
ButJoe, he doesn't go on as Hamlet.
The play gets canceled.
206
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:54,182
And there's agents in the audience
so he blows his big break.
207
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,235
And his life goes
downhill from there.
208
00:13:56,303 --> 00:14:01,798
He becomes an extra in movies,
and he goes into real estate.
209
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:07,040
So it has to be that you're here
to make sure he goes on
as Hamlet. Gotta be.
210
00:14:08,549 --> 00:14:11,712
Well, what aboutJane?
Does she ever sing again?
211
00:14:11,785 --> 00:14:16,051
Let's see.
Sing, well, there's nothing
about singing in here.
212
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:19,354
Uh, she doesn't have a great life.
But at least she's got her family.
213
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:22,418
You should hear her sing, Al.
I mean, she-she has a terrific voice.
214
00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:25,465
It would be a shame.
It would be a waste
if she never did anything with it.
215
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,796
Oh.
216
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,802
Oh.
Hmm? What?
217
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,430
That brings back memories.
That really brings back...
Ex-wife?
218
00:14:32,506 --> 00:14:35,907
Yeah, my fifth.
Or was it my fifth?
Your f...
219
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,001
Yeah, it was the fifth.
It was the fifth.
220
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:41,241
She always had a dream of skating...
221
00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:44,474
professionally...
222
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,485
in the roller derby.
Roller derby?
223
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:51,547
Yeah. And it was hard watching her
build her hopes up for those tryouts,
224
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:54,389
you know, and then fail.
225
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:58,830
She never got it.
She fell on her tushy all the time.
Al.
226
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:02,198
So she tried a little ice skating,
227
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,260
but it wasn't the same,
it wasn't the same.
228
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:06,329
Finally we broke up.
229
00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:10,341
Are you telling me that
you broke up with your fifth wife...
230
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:15,211
because she couldn't
get into the roller derby game?
No. She ran off with a bricklayer.
231
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:18,410
I'll tell you though.
Every time I see a roller skate,
232
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,419
I get all choked up.
Al.
233
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:25,049
It just goes to show you that
some dreams are supposed to
stay up in the clouds.
234
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:28,390
What are you talking about?
No, you can never give up
on your dreams.
235
00:15:28,462 --> 00:15:31,522
What if you build her up
and she tries and then she fails?
236
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,532
What if she doesn't fall on her tushy?
What if she succeeds?
237
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,534
You can't hit a home run
if you don't come up to the plate.
238
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,537
Ziggy says there's a 91% probability...
You told me that once...
239
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,130
that you're here to go on as Hamlet.
240
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:44,268
There's nothing in here
about a singing career. Nothing!
241
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,108
You're here to go on
as Hamlet. Okay?
242
00:16:23,951 --> 00:16:25,885
More. More!
No.
243
00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:27,887
More!
Not another one.
244
00:16:27,955 --> 00:16:30,583
Come on.
I could listen to you all night.
Oh, darling.
245
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,785
- You're probably the only person
on earth who could.
- Probably?
246
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:38,923
- Now don't get on me again about making
the rounds of agents and managers.
- But your tape.
247
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:41,433
It needs work.
It's perfect.
248
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:44,927
Look, Jane.
249
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,403
If you don't believe
in your talent, nobody else is.
250
00:16:50,978 --> 00:16:55,074
I mean, what's the worst thing
that anybody could say?
I sound like Tiny Tim?
251
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,481
Never. Now, come on.
252
00:17:00,821 --> 00:17:04,257
Did l...
Did I say something wrong?
253
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,349
Wrong?
254
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:10,385
Oh, you're the only person
I've ever known who sees me
for what I could be.
255
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:15,231
Nobody's ever
believed in me like you.
256
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,236
Why?
257
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,366
Well, what you did.
258
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:27,539
I mean, moving to New York
and everything. That...
259
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:32,313
That took a lot of courage.
I admire you for that.
260
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,548
I admire your voice.
261
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,191
I admire your eyes.
262
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,155
I am a very lucky woman.
263
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,893
You are pretty incredible.
264
00:17:46,967 --> 00:17:48,958
So are you.
265
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:06,018
Hi.
How are you?
266
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,020
Jane.
Yeah?
267
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,750
- We've got a surprise for you.
- Hey, Janie.
268
00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:13,019
- Ted?
- Jane!
269
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:17,257
It is so good to see you. Zowie!
270
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:20,094
You look, uh, different.
271
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:23,034
I like it. I like it.
Well, you haven't changed a bit.
272
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:28,769
Uh, Ted, I'd like you
to meet my friend, Joe Thurlow.
273
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:31,504
Joe. You know, when you left,
274
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,240
Cleveland lost its prettiest girl.
275
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,748
When you left,
Cleveland lost its biggest liar.
276
00:18:36,817 --> 00:18:39,285
No, no, no.
I'm telling you the truth.
277
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:42,879
How could you leave, Jane?
Well, I'm sure
you haven't been lonely.
278
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:45,925
- I've been very lonely.
- So, Ted.
279
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,153
What business are you in?
280
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:53,256
Uh, oh, I, uh...
I run a little, uh, textiles operation.
281
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:57,736
Little? Ted's company
employs 2,000 people.
282
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,602
My biggest customer is the U.S. Army.
283
00:19:00,674 --> 00:19:05,236
And, boy, do they run through
uniforms in Vietnam, I can tell you.
284
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,246
You sound like that's a good thing.
285
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:10,806
Watch out, Ted.
Joe's one of the war protesters.
286
00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:16,220
Ah, so, uh, you're anti-American.
287
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,348
No. Actually,
I'm just the opposite.
288
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:23,260
I just think that this war
is gonna cost us in more ways
than you could imagine.
289
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:26,891
- Now, look, you two, please.
- You hippies think you have
so much to say about what's right.
290
00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:30,425
Why can't you just
keep your mouth shut?
Freedom of speech is my fundamental right.
291
00:19:30,504 --> 00:19:33,302
Yeah. Well, men lost their lives
defending that right.
292
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:38,868
And a lot more are gonna lose
their lives needlessly.
You know, you're a coward.
293
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,607
What is your draft status, anyway?
Oh, what do you know?
294
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,512
Joe, they're playing our song.
295
00:19:46,787 --> 00:19:48,846
Excuse us, Ted.
296
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:55,359
...is our song?
It is now.
297
00:19:56,930 --> 00:20:00,627
- Punk.
- Our plan's not working.
298
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,032
Uh, just give it some time.
299
00:20:03,103 --> 00:20:06,869
Why do you two have to be so sneaky?
Neil, just ask her to come home.
300
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,874
And, Ted, just ask her to marry you.
301
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:12,241
What? Tell the truth?
No.
302
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:17,910
Darling, I know you feel
she'd be safer in Cleveland, but...
303
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,043
maybe she's really found love.
304
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,884
She thinks she's found love.
Take it from me.
305
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:24,947
This relationship is doomed.
306
00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:29,189
A 25-year spread in age
is just too much to overcome.
307
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,657
Joe is bound to get tired of her.
308
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:36,065
And when he does, I'll be there.
309
00:20:45,879 --> 00:20:47,813
Excuse me.
310
00:20:47,881 --> 00:20:49,815
May I cut in, young man?
311
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:02,659
Joe. What a coincidence
running into you here.
312
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:05,289
Yeah. Hi.
313
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:09,461
Wow, Nehru jackets are so sexy.
314
00:21:10,804 --> 00:21:13,773
Yeah. Well, I'll, uh,
I'll see you tomorrow.
315
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:18,038
You know, I remember
when you could dance to music.
316
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:23,048
You still can.
Yeah, well, maybe you can.
And your friend.
317
00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:29,916
Speaking of which, uh,
doesn't he strike you as a little, uh...
Young?
318
00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,924
Well, uh, now that you mention it.
319
00:21:31,992 --> 00:21:36,725
Don't you think you'd be happier
with somebody a little more, uh, mature,
320
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,264
well-seasoned,
debonair, charming?
321
00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:42,563
Oh, you mean like you?
You flatter me. Thank you.
322
00:21:42,636 --> 00:21:46,299
I'm happy with Joe.
323
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:49,103
I'm happy that you're happy.
324
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:52,474
So, I guess we're, uh...
we're all happy.
325
00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:57,583
Neil tells me that you've
got a singing career going.
326
00:21:57,651 --> 00:22:01,985
I know how tough that must be
to get something like that started.
327
00:22:02,055 --> 00:22:04,489
Especially, uh...
328
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:06,787
You mean, in the over-40 crowd?
329
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:10,456
A lot of people
get started late in life.
330
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:13,431
I'm not gonna turn 50
and act like an old grandmother,
331
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:17,436
even though that is
what I'm about to become.
332
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:21,270
Old? No, no, no, not you. Come on.
333
00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,935
Hey, you know,
I have a brainstorm.
334
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:28,504
Why don't you come back to Cleveland
and sing? People love you there.
335
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,981
People love me here.
336
00:22:38,792 --> 00:22:42,455
You must think your mother's
lost her mind, coming to New York
to become a singer, right?
337
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:44,224
I wouldn't say that.
Why would you say that?
338
00:22:44,297 --> 00:22:47,425
Look. Why don't we, uh...
339
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:51,630
Why don't we all be honest here.
You came to bring your mother
back to Cleveland, right?
340
00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:55,402
Jane is a terrific singer.
She deserves to have
a chance at success.
341
00:22:55,475 --> 00:23:00,037
Most women her age
take up watercolors.
Most women don't have her voice.
342
00:23:00,113 --> 00:23:02,843
Look, we just don't want
to see her disappointed.
Or hurt.
343
00:23:02,916 --> 00:23:05,908
You know, at her age,
she might not get over it.
What she might not get over...
344
00:23:05,986 --> 00:23:09,149
is knowing whether
she could've made it or not,
because you wouldn't let her try.
345
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:13,215
Look, I've been listening to her
sing around the house my whole life.
346
00:23:13,293 --> 00:23:17,024
I love her, but she is nothing special.
347
00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:22,500
All right. I'll tell you what.
348
00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:25,163
If I can prove to you
that she has talent,
349
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,172
that she's special,
350
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,333
will you go back
to Cleveland, alone?
351
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,172
No. I don't know. That's...
You're on.
352
00:23:31,244 --> 00:23:33,508
Liz?
Look, we're not being objective.
353
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:36,572
I mean, your mother
thought you were too messy
to be an accountant.
354
00:23:36,649 --> 00:23:40,517
Didn't even think
you'd pass the C.P.A. Exam.
Well, she was wrong. I showed her.
355
00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:44,023
Yeah. Now it's her turn.
Let her show you.
We accept your challenge.
356
00:23:45,025 --> 00:23:49,394
- Right, Neil?
- L... All right.
357
00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:57,866
Joe? Where's he going?
358
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:00,599
Sure, man.
Thanks.
L-I really appreciate it.
359
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:04,165
What's going on?
I just talked to the band leader
and asked him if you could sing.
360
00:24:04,244 --> 00:24:07,702
And he's all for it.
They know... It's all set.
361
00:24:07,781 --> 00:24:09,874
I can't.
What?
362
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:12,816
You just sang for me
and you were terrific!
Now, come on.
363
00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:14,547
For me.
364
00:24:16,056 --> 00:24:20,083
Okay. Let me put on some lipstick.
Mom, don't do this to yourself.
365
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,287
Look around.
This is not your living room.
366
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:30,193
It's all right.
367
00:24:30,270 --> 00:24:32,830
The Black Light Club
introduces a fab new singer.
368
00:24:32,906 --> 00:24:36,239
Everybody, let's give it up
forJane Lindhurst!
369
00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:00,999
Start singing.
370
00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:03,501
Oh, no.
371
00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:05,663
This is even more
embarrassing than I thought.
372
00:25:08,775 --> 00:25:12,370
I-I can't.
373
00:25:13,379 --> 00:25:16,610
What's wrong?
Come on, mellow out.
374
00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:18,844
Gee, she's really upset.
375
00:25:25,292 --> 00:25:27,783
I'm sorry. I, uh...
376
00:25:30,331 --> 00:25:32,799
I feel like such a fool.
377
00:25:34,735 --> 00:25:37,033
It's my fault. I should've
given you more time.
378
00:25:37,104 --> 00:25:42,371
Oh, give me a hundred years.
I still wouldn't have been ready.
379
00:25:43,411 --> 00:25:48,405
Look, I don't believe that.
An hour ago you felt
really great about singing.
380
00:25:49,717 --> 00:25:53,585
It's one thing singing for somebody
you know, you, the kids.
381
00:25:53,654 --> 00:25:56,020
But this is New York.
382
00:25:56,090 --> 00:25:58,684
Neil's right.
383
00:25:58,759 --> 00:26:03,321
Why am I putting myself
through this?
Because it's something you want.
384
00:26:03,397 --> 00:26:07,561
It's okay to want something for yourself.
It's okay to want success.
385
00:26:07,635 --> 00:26:10,160
It's even okay for Neil
to be wrong about you.
386
00:26:10,237 --> 00:26:12,637
Neil only wants
what's right for her, Joe.
387
00:26:12,706 --> 00:26:14,674
Neil wants what's best for Neil.
388
00:26:14,742 --> 00:26:18,007
You're saying her son wants to hurt her?
389
00:26:18,079 --> 00:26:21,913
No. I'm just saying he only wants her
to do what makes him comfortable.
390
00:26:21,982 --> 00:26:25,577
Listen to me. Neil has got to let go.
391
00:26:25,653 --> 00:26:30,352
He's gotta let you live your own life.
And you've gotta help him, 'cause
he's never gonna do it by himself.
392
00:26:30,424 --> 00:26:32,824
Boyfriends come and go, Joe.
393
00:26:32,893 --> 00:26:37,057
But her son will
always be there for her.
394
00:26:37,131 --> 00:26:39,065
Ted's right.
395
00:26:40,401 --> 00:26:43,029
L-I can't cut Neil out of my life.
396
00:26:43,104 --> 00:26:46,665
I didn't say that.
I just don't think that he should con...
397
00:26:46,740 --> 00:26:49,641
Sorry, I-I didn't mean
to cause a problem.
Yeah.
398
00:26:53,414 --> 00:26:55,609
Love's a funny thing, huh?
399
00:26:55,683 --> 00:27:00,017
Makes you do strange things.
Oh, hell, Al.
It's not Neil's fault.
400
00:27:00,087 --> 00:27:03,887
He thinks he's doing
the right thing.
What do you think?
401
00:27:03,958 --> 00:27:06,927
I... I don't know.
402
00:27:06,994 --> 00:27:11,454
You've known her for one day.
Neil has known her his entire life.
403
00:27:11,532 --> 00:27:14,558
And you push her too hard,
and she's gonna wish
she'd never even known you.
404
00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:19,402
Well, I may not have the answer, Al,
but that doesn't mean that Neil does.
405
00:27:19,473 --> 00:27:21,407
You shouldn't even be here.
Huh?
406
00:27:21,475 --> 00:27:24,569
You should be rehearsing Shakespeare.
Oh, come on.
407
00:27:24,645 --> 00:27:27,239
You're not here to help her.
408
00:27:33,387 --> 00:27:35,321
Where's Mom?
409
00:27:35,389 --> 00:27:38,324
She had to, uh, powder her nose.
410
00:27:40,161 --> 00:27:44,257
Oh, uh, my nose
is a little shiny too. Excuse me.
411
00:27:50,504 --> 00:27:53,598
Don't feel bad.
You meant well.
412
00:28:00,948 --> 00:28:05,180
So, Joe. I believe you owe me an apology.
What were you afraid of anyway?
That she'd be good?
413
00:28:05,252 --> 00:28:08,551
What I'm afraid of is you.
You live with my mother,
414
00:28:08,622 --> 00:28:11,386
you're younger than me,
and you don't have a job.
415
00:28:11,458 --> 00:28:14,518
Ah, the triple threat.
416
00:28:14,595 --> 00:28:18,395
- I'm not sponging off of her.
- Well, how much rent are you paying her?
417
00:28:18,465 --> 00:28:21,866
- What does that have to do with...
- I thought so.
418
00:28:21,936 --> 00:28:25,133
I'm not a gigolo.
Oh, come on, Joe.
419
00:28:25,206 --> 00:28:28,937
I mean, when are you
gonna get a real job, huh?
I'm an actor.
420
00:28:29,009 --> 00:28:31,603
Okay, I may not be a C.P. A...
421
00:28:31,679 --> 00:28:36,343
or own a huge corporation
and wear three-piece suits,
but acting is legitimate work.
422
00:28:36,417 --> 00:28:39,079
Yeah, I knew a guy once
who called himself an actor.
423
00:28:39,153 --> 00:28:42,611
The only acting he ever did is when
he called home to borrow money.
424
00:28:42,690 --> 00:28:47,650
Died broke. Drained his family.
Broke his poor mother's heart.
425
00:28:47,728 --> 00:28:52,995
I'm doing a play tomorrow night.
It's off-Broadway, and it pays.
Off-Broadway?
426
00:28:53,067 --> 00:28:57,663
- It's Hamlet.
- Oh, Hamlet. No kidding?
Very impressive.
427
00:28:57,738 --> 00:29:00,229
Why don't you come see it
and judge for yourself?
428
00:29:00,307 --> 00:29:04,004
Well, thanks for the invitation,
old man. Count me in.
429
00:29:04,078 --> 00:29:08,742
How about you, Neil?
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
430
00:29:08,816 --> 00:29:11,114
Uh, Neil, don't you think
we ought to get going?
431
00:29:11,185 --> 00:29:14,416
Because you have to be back at work
and we have an early train to catch
tomorrow morning.
432
00:29:14,488 --> 00:29:18,982
No, we don't.
We're gonna take the red-eye
tomorrow night, after the show.
433
00:29:19,059 --> 00:29:23,519
- Show?
- Yes. Uh, Joe here has
invited us all to the theater.
434
00:29:23,597 --> 00:29:26,589
Well, Joe, isn't that sweet?
435
00:29:26,667 --> 00:29:29,158
He's persistent.
You gotta give him that.
436
00:29:29,236 --> 00:29:31,761
Yes, I suppose I do.
437
00:29:41,081 --> 00:29:45,745
After the club, I hoped that maybe dinner
would give me a chance to win Neil over.
438
00:29:45,819 --> 00:29:48,879
Unfortunately, it didn't work.
439
00:29:48,956 --> 00:29:50,947
The next day,
I thought it would be a good idea...
440
00:29:51,025 --> 00:29:54,358
to giveJane
some time alone with her family
and sent them off shopping.
441
00:29:54,428 --> 00:29:56,521
And as much as I wanted to go along,
442
00:29:56,597 --> 00:30:02,536
I thought the only way
to make a good impression was
to show them that I was a good actor.
443
00:30:02,603 --> 00:30:08,098
However, no matter how hard I tried,
only one thought kept running
through my mind:
444
00:30:09,343 --> 00:30:13,336
"Did people throw rotten vegetables
at bad actors in the '60s? '"
445
00:30:13,414 --> 00:30:16,508
- Say, what kind ofjoint is this?
- It's an art house.
446
00:30:16,583 --> 00:30:19,746
Well, tell Art to get a real theater.
447
00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:22,653
Look, Neil, it doesn't matter
what kind of theater it is.
448
00:30:22,723 --> 00:30:25,487
It just matters
what's up on the stage.
449
00:30:25,559 --> 00:30:27,720
Well, that's very nice
of you to say, Ted.
450
00:30:27,795 --> 00:30:30,286
Oh, Neil, could you get me
a program? I didn't get one.
451
00:30:30,364 --> 00:30:32,855
Oh, I'll get it.
I'm gonna help him.
452
00:30:32,933 --> 00:30:35,163
Excuse me.
453
00:30:38,105 --> 00:30:41,438
Say, Ted.
Whose side are you on?
454
00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:45,501
Take a look. I've seen slums
with more class than this place.
455
00:30:45,579 --> 00:30:48,139
I bet this whole thing's a joke.
456
00:30:48,215 --> 00:30:52,276
I have a feeling your mother's
in for a big disappointment.
457
00:30:56,523 --> 00:30:59,014
Two minutes, everybody.
458
00:31:03,664 --> 00:31:06,394
Sam, what are you doing with that script?
You don't need that.
I know.
459
00:31:06,467 --> 00:31:09,561
You've got a photographic memory.
I know, I do.
But I'm just a little nervous.
460
00:31:09,636 --> 00:31:14,300
Give me a break.
I mean, this is...
Okay, everybody. Listen up. On stage.
461
00:31:14,375 --> 00:31:19,312
Now, these are desperate times.
The competition is fierce.
462
00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:21,644
And we're getting lost in the shuffle.
463
00:31:21,715 --> 00:31:25,811
I'm sorry to tell you this,
but tonight will be the last performance.
464
00:31:25,886 --> 00:31:28,446
What? You're kidding.
Unless... Unless...
465
00:31:28,522 --> 00:31:31,980
- we are willing to make
drastic changes immediately.
- Like what?
466
00:31:32,059 --> 00:31:34,050
- Do you trust me?
- Absolutely.
467
00:31:34,128 --> 00:31:37,757
All right.
We must be courageous.
We must be innovative.
468
00:31:37,831 --> 00:31:39,822
We must be...
469
00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:42,926
- nude!
- Oh, wow! Dynamite! That's great!
470
00:31:43,003 --> 00:31:47,440
Just wait a second here, uh, l...
This must be why
Joe never went on.
471
00:31:47,508 --> 00:31:50,409
Joe, you heard him.
We'll all be out of a job tomorrow!
472
00:31:50,477 --> 00:31:52,411
- I've got two kids to support.
- Count me in.
473
00:31:52,479 --> 00:31:54,674
All right. All right.
Bring the house lights down!
474
00:31:54,748 --> 00:31:58,946
Joe, uh, is it my imagination
or do I detect a trace
of hesitation here?
475
00:31:59,019 --> 00:32:00,953
You're not gonna
let us down, are you?
476
00:32:01,021 --> 00:32:03,319
No, I-I just don't think
that nudity is the solution.
477
00:32:03,390 --> 00:32:06,382
No, wait a minute.
L-I just feel we don't...
Why don't you just try it?
478
00:32:06,460 --> 00:32:08,826
Give me that! Give me that!
All right. Ready?
479
00:32:08,896 --> 00:32:10,830
- Places.
- Woo-hoo!
480
00:32:10,898 --> 00:32:12,832
And, uh, curtain.
481
00:32:15,502 --> 00:32:17,436
Al, I can't...
Huh?
482
00:32:17,504 --> 00:32:20,996
I can't do this.
What do you mean
you can't do this?
483
00:32:21,074 --> 00:32:24,373
You got...
This is joe's big break.
This is everybody's big break.
484
00:32:24,445 --> 00:32:27,414
This is why you're here.
Now, come on, don't blow it.
485
00:32:27,481 --> 00:32:30,279
What aboutJane's family?
Hey, your mustache
looks stupid and your beard.
486
00:32:30,350 --> 00:32:33,183
Jane's family, it doesn't matter.
This is 1969.
487
00:32:33,253 --> 00:32:35,380
Everybody was nude on the stage.
488
00:32:35,456 --> 00:32:38,391
Oh! Calcutta! uh, Hair.
All that stuff.
489
00:32:38,459 --> 00:32:40,723
Come on. Don't be a prude.
Now, get out there!
490
00:32:57,578 --> 00:33:02,072
But now, my cousin Hamlet,
and my son.
491
00:33:02,149 --> 00:33:05,482
That's your cue!
Get out there! Hurry up!
492
00:33:06,587 --> 00:33:10,318
Sam, that's your cue. Go!
493
00:33:10,390 --> 00:33:14,656
Well, good night.
If you do meet Horatio and Marcellus,
Come on.
494
00:33:14,728 --> 00:33:17,595
The rivals of my watch,
bid them make haste.
495
00:33:18,599 --> 00:33:20,829
I think I hear them.
496
00:33:22,936 --> 00:33:27,999
A little more than kin
and less than kind.
497
00:33:30,978 --> 00:33:36,814
Oh, boy.
Not so, my lord.
I am too much in the sun.
498
00:33:36,884 --> 00:33:39,444
Oh, I die.
499
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,511
Horatio...
500
00:33:43,857 --> 00:33:47,520
the potent poison
quite o'er-crows my spirit.
501
00:33:50,063 --> 00:33:53,829
I cannot live to hear
the news from England.
502
00:33:55,903 --> 00:34:01,068
But I do prophesy
the election lights on Fortinbras.
503
00:34:02,175 --> 00:34:05,372
He has my dying voice.
504
00:34:05,445 --> 00:34:08,903
The soldiers'music and the rites of war...
505
00:34:08,982 --> 00:34:11,143
speak loudly for him.
506
00:34:11,218 --> 00:34:15,882
Take the bodies.
Such a sight as this becomes the field,
507
00:34:15,956 --> 00:34:18,754
but here shows much amiss.
508
00:34:18,825 --> 00:34:23,319
Go, bid the soldiers shoot.
509
00:34:28,068 --> 00:34:31,504
Wow. What a way to make a living.
510
00:34:31,572 --> 00:34:34,564
Well, I'm proud ofJoe.
What he did took courage.
511
00:34:34,641 --> 00:34:37,007
Or drugs. Lots of them.
512
00:34:37,077 --> 00:34:41,480
I found their performances
very... moving.
513
00:34:41,548 --> 00:34:45,644
Well, yeah. They moved, all right,
and jiggled and flapped a bit.
514
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,711
Neil!
Sorry, Mom, but it's true.
515
00:34:48,789 --> 00:34:51,451
I'm going backstage
to congratulateJoe.
516
00:34:57,631 --> 00:35:00,657
I have never been
so totally and completely...
517
00:35:00,734 --> 00:35:03,931
humiliated in my life.
518
00:35:04,004 --> 00:35:05,699
What are you complaining about?
519
00:35:05,772 --> 00:35:07,672
You should be proud.
What?
520
00:35:07,741 --> 00:35:09,436
That audience was riveted.
521
00:35:09,509 --> 00:35:14,276
Oh, please.
It was like they were
watching... a car wreck.
522
00:35:14,348 --> 00:35:18,079
Like it was horrible, but you were
too fascinated to look away.
523
00:35:19,086 --> 00:35:22,283
Thank you.
Thank you for your support.
524
00:35:22,356 --> 00:35:24,722
There were some nice things
on that stage.
525
00:35:24,791 --> 00:35:27,021
As a matter of fact,
there were two nice things.
Al.
526
00:35:27,094 --> 00:35:29,585
Yeah.
Hi.
527
00:35:29,663 --> 00:35:32,530
Ophelia.
Petra, hi.
528
00:35:32,599 --> 00:35:36,467
Oh, Joe!
529
00:35:37,938 --> 00:35:40,498
- Joe!
- Jane!
- Mom!
530
00:35:40,574 --> 00:35:43,065
Ted!
Uh, Jane.
531
00:35:43,143 --> 00:35:45,304
- Ophelia.
- Neil!
532
00:35:45,379 --> 00:35:47,313
Oh, boy.
533
00:35:51,785 --> 00:35:56,415
Well, that was
certainly illuminating.
Oh, shut up, Ted!
534
00:35:56,489 --> 00:35:58,980
Petra.
No, Sam. No.
535
00:35:59,059 --> 00:36:01,550
See you later.
See you later.
Sam, I don't believe you!
536
00:36:01,628 --> 00:36:04,426
Oh, my God.
Al, I think I've lostJane.
537
00:36:04,497 --> 00:36:07,989
You lostJane?
You've lost you're mind! Kicking that
beautiful Ophelia with nothing on.
538
00:36:08,068 --> 00:36:10,662
So what? What does that
have to do with anything?
539
00:36:10,737 --> 00:36:13,934
No! No, I mean it.
Now, go away. I'm not foolin' around!
540
00:36:14,007 --> 00:36:18,740
It's, uh, Rob Jackson
from Rosenfeld and Adams.
541
00:36:18,812 --> 00:36:20,302
Rosenfeld and Guilden...
What is that?
542
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:22,644
Oh, wait. Whoa!
Open the door!
That's an agent!
543
00:36:22,715 --> 00:36:25,013
Oh, man.
Hurry up!
544
00:36:25,085 --> 00:36:27,144
- Uh, hi.
- Hi.
545
00:36:27,220 --> 00:36:30,121
Mr. Jackson, I'm sorry,
I, uh, I'm just getting dressed here.
546
00:36:30,190 --> 00:36:33,353
Come on... Come on in here.
I'll just be a second.
What's goin' on with Jane?
547
00:36:33,426 --> 00:36:37,362
Yeah. I think you, uh,
you did a great job tonight,
all things considered.
548
00:36:37,430 --> 00:36:41,833
Oh, well. Thank you.
Uh, Sam, Ziggy says you've
gotta do something drastic.
549
00:36:41,901 --> 00:36:43,994
Or else it's adios, bye-bye!
No.
550
00:36:44,070 --> 00:36:48,666
Yes, really.
Uh, in fact, I think you'd be perfect
for this job we're about to cast.
551
00:36:48,741 --> 00:36:53,610
Really? You-You really think
that my acting was that good, huh?
552
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,773
Oh, your acting was, uh, was fine.
553
00:36:55,849 --> 00:36:58,511
But what I'm really
interested in is your look.
554
00:36:58,585 --> 00:37:01,486
Uh, you see, we're looking
for the new Boxer Boy.
555
00:37:01,554 --> 00:37:05,547
You know, Boxer Boy Underwear?
"Lasts a lifetime plus 10 years"?
556
00:37:05,625 --> 00:37:09,220
- Yeah, hey,
I've still got a pair of those.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
557
00:37:09,295 --> 00:37:12,890
Well, I think I am looking
at the new Boxer Boy.
What do you say?
558
00:37:12,966 --> 00:37:17,699
Sam, this is great.
Ziggy says that this sets Joe...
uh, sets you up for life.
559
00:37:17,770 --> 00:37:19,965
I'm sorry, I don't think I can do it.
560
00:37:20,039 --> 00:37:21,870
What?
I'm sorry.
Let me ask you though.
561
00:37:21,941 --> 00:37:24,501
Is there like a jingle?
Yeah.
562
00:37:24,577 --> 00:37:27,375
You got a singer for that yet?
No, not yet.
563
00:37:27,447 --> 00:37:32,475
Okay, well, I can't sign with you
unless you sign a terrific singer too.
564
00:37:32,552 --> 00:37:35,521
Sam, Ziggy said "drastic, '"
not "overboard. '"
565
00:37:35,588 --> 00:37:37,579
You're shooting down
Joe's whole life here.
566
00:37:37,657 --> 00:37:42,856
I get it. You're talkin' about
what's-her-name, the one
who plays Ophelia, right?
567
00:37:42,929 --> 00:37:46,160
No, no, no.
Her name is Jane Lindhurst.
568
00:37:46,232 --> 00:37:48,393
Sam, you're taking
chivalry a bit too far.
569
00:37:48,468 --> 00:37:51,437
Well I'd have to hear her sing first.
Okay. All right.
570
00:37:51,504 --> 00:37:55,907
- I can arrange for that.
- How you gonna do that?
She's taking the 12:01 to Cleveland.
571
00:37:55,975 --> 00:38:00,776
Tell you what.
You meet me at the Black Light,
the Black Light Club, in an hour, okay?
572
00:38:00,847 --> 00:38:03,839
And, uh, I'm gonna go find her
and I'll tell her the good news.
573
00:38:03,917 --> 00:38:05,851
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
574
00:38:12,358 --> 00:38:15,088
Hi.
Oh, hi.
575
00:38:22,869 --> 00:38:25,929
Don't you have any newer pictures of me?
I've changed a little.
576
00:38:27,373 --> 00:38:32,401
Sometimes I wish that
you could've stayed five
and I could've stayed 25.
577
00:38:32,478 --> 00:38:35,140
Oh. Not me.
578
00:38:35,215 --> 00:38:39,379
That was the year that I-I broke
Great-grandma's platter. What was it?
579
00:38:39,452 --> 00:38:41,818
Bavarian and priceless.
580
00:38:43,189 --> 00:38:48,718
Bavarian and priceless, that's right.
I lied. I said Billy broke it,
and you knew better.
581
00:38:48,795 --> 00:38:51,286
Oh, I spent a whole lot of time
in the corner over that one.
582
00:38:52,865 --> 00:38:56,062
That was the first fib
you ever told me.
583
00:38:56,135 --> 00:38:58,126
You know, you used to say that...
584
00:38:58,204 --> 00:39:03,437
the only thing worse
than lying to other people
was lying to yourself.
585
00:39:04,544 --> 00:39:08,412
I didn't understand
what you meant then,
586
00:39:08,481 --> 00:39:11,644
but... I do now.
587
00:39:12,652 --> 00:39:15,314
You think I'm not being
honest with myself.
588
00:39:18,157 --> 00:39:20,182
Maybe you're right.
589
00:39:23,196 --> 00:39:25,187
This isn't you, Mom.
590
00:39:26,499 --> 00:39:29,059
You're not some wild, young singer.
591
00:39:32,272 --> 00:39:35,708
Don't you think it's time
that you came home?
592
00:39:45,551 --> 00:39:48,486
Well, here we are
on the street again.
593
00:39:48,554 --> 00:39:50,784
How come there are
eight billion cabs in New York City,
594
00:39:50,857 --> 00:39:52,791
but you can never find one
when you want one?
595
00:39:52,859 --> 00:39:56,317
It's the Bermuda Triangle,
New York. Never mind.
What?
596
00:39:58,464 --> 00:40:01,456
And how come you didn't tell me earlier
that she was gonna take the train?
597
00:40:01,534 --> 00:40:03,764
I told you as soon as I found out.
598
00:40:03,836 --> 00:40:09,502
Now, listen. What do you think is
gonna happen ifJane starts to sing
for this agent and she can't?
599
00:40:10,677 --> 00:40:12,872
I say she can.
Well, you don't know.
600
00:40:12,945 --> 00:40:15,209
She could be blowing
two careers instead of one.
601
00:40:15,281 --> 00:40:17,374
How do you think she's gonna
feel about that afterwards?
602
00:40:17,450 --> 00:40:19,850
How do you thinkJoe
is gonna feel about that?
603
00:40:19,919 --> 00:40:22,513
J-Joe is gonna feel miserable
if he doesn't help her.
604
00:40:24,691 --> 00:40:27,751
You know, I hate it
when you're right.
605
00:40:27,827 --> 00:40:30,318
What?
Uh-oh. Looks like
she's starting to leave, Sam.
606
00:40:30,396 --> 00:40:32,421
Go, go, go.
607
00:40:32,498 --> 00:40:35,990
Come on, shake a leg, Janie.
Shake a leg, come on.
608
00:40:37,470 --> 00:40:39,438
All right, that's it.
609
00:40:42,942 --> 00:40:45,069
Jane! Wait a second! Wait a second!
610
00:40:45,144 --> 00:40:47,544
Oh, no.
You can't run out on me like this.
611
00:40:47,613 --> 00:40:51,276
You gotta give me a chance to explain.
What's to explain?
You're 25.
612
00:40:51,351 --> 00:40:54,514
She's 25. It's only natural.
Yeah, but nothing happened!
613
00:40:54,587 --> 00:40:57,112
I didn't invite Petra to my room.
She invited herself.
Come on, Mom.
614
00:40:57,190 --> 00:40:59,852
If it isn't Petra,
it'll be somebody else.
615
00:40:59,926 --> 00:41:02,588
And then one day
you'll stop turning them down.
616
00:41:02,662 --> 00:41:06,621
I can't compete.
The only thing that sags
on her are her morals.
617
00:41:06,699 --> 00:41:09,566
You're going downhill, Sam.
Look. Look.
What about your career?
618
00:41:09,635 --> 00:41:13,401
If you're not gonna stay here for us,
at least stay for yourself.
Give your career a chance.
619
00:41:13,473 --> 00:41:17,409
I did and I failed.
Look, you only froze once!
620
00:41:21,247 --> 00:41:24,375
Jane! Jane! Excuse me.
621
00:41:24,450 --> 00:41:27,317
Jane, listen to me.
622
00:41:27,387 --> 00:41:31,323
Lots of people fail
their first time out.
Don't give up on yourself.
623
00:41:31,391 --> 00:41:35,157
Joe, we have to make a train.
Shut up, Ted.
I'm not talkin' to you.
624
00:41:35,228 --> 00:41:38,095
Now you take
your hands off her...
Or what?
625
00:41:38,164 --> 00:41:42,100
- Or this!
- Joe!
626
00:41:42,168 --> 00:41:44,398
Ted! Ted, no! Stop!
Get up, you draft-dodging...
627
00:41:44,470 --> 00:41:46,404
Stop! Stop, you two! Stop it!
628
00:41:46,472 --> 00:41:49,339
Just leave us alone a minute.
Get in the cab.
629
00:41:49,409 --> 00:41:51,843
Joe, are you all right? Joe.
630
00:41:51,911 --> 00:41:55,074
You're lucky he didn't give you
a flying noodle kick, you nozzle.
631
00:41:55,148 --> 00:41:57,946
I know you think I'm crazy
for going on tonight, but I had to.
632
00:41:58,017 --> 00:42:01,282
A lot of people were depending upon me.
There was an agent in the audience.
633
00:42:01,354 --> 00:42:04,016
Some guy from Rosenfeld and Adams.
634
00:42:04,090 --> 00:42:06,820
And he thinks that l...
635
00:42:06,893 --> 00:42:09,987
that I could be the next Boxer Boy.
636
00:42:10,062 --> 00:42:13,122
You mean the shorts
that last a lifetime plus 10 years?
Yes. Yeah.
637
00:42:13,199 --> 00:42:15,827
That-That's it. I'll be set.
638
00:42:15,902 --> 00:42:20,134
We'd be set. I know
it's not Shakespeare, but it's a job.
639
00:42:20,206 --> 00:42:23,266
Yes. I'm-I'm real happy
that one of us could make it big.
640
00:42:23,342 --> 00:42:25,333
No, no, no.
You don't understand.
641
00:42:25,411 --> 00:42:28,141
I told him I wouldn't sign with him
unless he signed you too.
642
00:42:28,214 --> 00:42:30,546
He wants to hear you sing.
643
00:42:30,616 --> 00:42:33,278
Oh, no, Joe.
I can't let you do that.
It's too late. I already did it.
644
00:42:33,352 --> 00:42:37,015
No, I couldn't possibly
jeopardize your...
Jane. Jane.
645
00:42:37,089 --> 00:42:41,685
- We deserve a chance.
- Action speaks louder
than words, Sam.
646
00:42:41,761 --> 00:42:46,460
What kind of a life?
I mean, what about kids,
or what...
647
00:42:46,532 --> 00:42:49,501
Attaboy.
648
00:42:49,569 --> 00:42:52,299
Nobody knows what the future holds.
649
00:42:52,371 --> 00:42:54,839
I could be dead tomorrow,
650
00:42:56,342 --> 00:42:58,469
or we could live together
for the next 50 years.
651
00:43:00,079 --> 00:43:02,946
Take a chance.
652
00:43:10,156 --> 00:43:12,090
Oh, Joe.
Now, now, now.
653
00:43:12,158 --> 00:43:15,286
Joe, no. I can't.
I really can't.
Listen to me. Listen to me.
654
00:43:16,629 --> 00:43:20,190
No matter how you do,
I'll still love you.
655
00:43:28,207 --> 00:43:30,334
Okay.
Okay. Now, give 'em hell.
656
00:43:30,409 --> 00:43:32,400
All right.
657
00:44:41,247 --> 00:44:43,442
She's good.
658
00:44:49,855 --> 00:44:53,450
Sam, you did it.
You did it.
659
00:44:53,526 --> 00:44:56,017
Jane and Joe sign
with Rosenfeld and Adams.
660
00:44:56,095 --> 00:44:58,029
And then in a week
they get married,
661
00:44:58,097 --> 00:45:02,500
and then Joe goes on
to make a fortune
selling underwear on TV.
662
00:45:02,568 --> 00:45:08,234
What aboutJane?
Well, she doesn't have much of a career.
663
00:45:08,307 --> 00:45:12,471
But, you know,
she does a couple of commercials.
Sings with a band every once in a while.
664
00:45:12,545 --> 00:45:15,810
And she's happy.
That's the thing, she's really happy.
665
00:45:40,573 --> 00:45:42,803
Go! Go!
666
00:45:46,045 --> 00:45:47,979
Oh, boy!