1
00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,589
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,732
D-oh!

3
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,029
Woof.

4
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:26,585
Hey, open up!

5
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,797
I've been standing here
all morning.

6
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,174
Hey, Homer.
What are you doing at work?

7
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,301
The plant's closed
for fumigation.

8
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,979
No one told me
the plant was closed.

9
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,106
Didn't you get the e-mail?

10
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:47,065
What's an e-mail?

11
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,525
It's a computer thing

12
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,859
like an electric letter.

13
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,444
Or a quiet phone call.

14
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,029
I don't have a computer.

15
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,282
Too bad.
That's why you're at work

16
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,535
while we're living it up
on our day off.

17
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,578
Hey, Karl,
turn up the car radio.

18
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,206
Why not?
Anything goes today.

19
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:10,296
That does it.
I'm getting a computer...

20
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,298
as soon as somebody
lets me out of here.

21
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:17,846
Oh. I'm so stupid.

22
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,643
Um, I guess I'll take that one.

23
00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,311
Do you need a paperweight?

24
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,581
Because if you buy that machine
that's all you're going to have

25
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:28,815
is an expensive paperweight.

26
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,650
Well, a paperweight
would be nice

27
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,169
but what I really need
is a computer.

28
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,611
How about that one?

29
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,322
Mm-hmm. That technology
is three months old.

30
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,324
Only suckers buy
out-of-date machines.

31
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,368
Uh, you're not a sucker,
are you, sir?

32
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:41,578
Heavens, no.

33
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:44,581
Oh, good. Because if you were,
I'd ask you to leave the store.

34
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,708
I just need something
to receive e-mail.

35
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,919
You'll need a top-of-the-line
machine for that.

36
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:51,796
That's the same computer

37
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,923
astronauts use
to do their taxes.

38
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,091
I was an astronaut.

39
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,426
Of course you were.

40
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,808
$5,000?

41
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,477
You only have ten seconds
to decide, sir.

42
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,376
This is the best computer
in the world

43
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,523
and always will be, right?

44
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,524
Absolutely.

45
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,526
Just run the deed to your house
through here.

46
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,114
You are on your

47
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,032
...fifth...

48
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,241
...mortgage.

49
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,162
Hey, Lisa.

50
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:27,373
Check out my new computer.

51
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,584
Dad, you shouldn't drag
that around.

52
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,503
That's right, top of the line.

53
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,009
Stupid pothole.

54
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,177
Don't worry, head.

55
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,804
The computer
will do our thinking now.

56
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:48,478
Oh, yeah, perfect.

57
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:52,232
Now, then, computer,
kill Flanders.

58
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,816
Did I hear my name?

59
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:54,901
My ears are burning.

60
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:56,110
Good start.

61
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,445
Now finish the job.

62
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,738
Oh, you're busy.

63
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,531
Catch you later, compu-tater.

64
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,575
Oh, $5,000 for a computer

65
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,786
and it can't handle
a simple assignment.

66
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:09,958
Dad, I'll set up your computer.

67
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,210
Why don't you and Bart
go play in the backyard?

68
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,293
You're it.

69
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:19,841
Why you little!

70
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,263
OK, you're ready to go.

71
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,139
I've written down
the basic commands

72
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,933
so that anyone
can understand them.

73
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,269
Homer,

74
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,104
bring that back in the house.

75
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,605
Fine.

76
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,986
Ooh, it's dancing Jesus.

77
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,405
Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.

78
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,657
If there's a better use
for the Internet

79
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,284
I haven't found it.

80
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,245
If you've committed a crime
and you want to confess

81
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,246
click "yes."

82
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,123
Otherwise, click "no."

83
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:51,541
You have chosen "no"

84
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,669
meaning you've committed a crime
but don't want to confess.

85
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:55,670
A paddy wagon...

86
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,046
...is now speeding to your home.

87
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,131
Hey!

88
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:01,676
While you wait... why not buy
a police cap or t-shirt?

89
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:05,013
You have the right
to remain fabulous.

90
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,726
Here it is, everybody.

91
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,353
The world's greatest website.

92
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:17,400
- Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah...
- Hello, hello, hello, hello...

93
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,277
You'd think all the noises
would be annoying

94
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,360
but they're not.

95
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,113
I got suspended
from school today.

96
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:23,239
No kidding?

97
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,283
What do you think
of my page, Lisa?

98
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:26,284
Be honest.

99
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:27,285
It's great, isn't it?
Go ahead

100
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:28,911
and say it's great
if you want to.

101
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,788
They found a switchblade
in my locker.

102
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,916
Well, a web page is supposed
to be a personal thing.

103
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,170
You've just stolen copyrighted
material from everyone else.

104
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,963
They can sue you for that.

105
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,298
I took a swing at a cop.

106
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,425
They can't sue me
if they don't know who I am.

107
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:45,511
I'll just call myself Mr. X.

108
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:48,973
I'm just mad all the time.

109
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,934
Yup, you can't
go wrong with Mr. X.

110
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,147
Mom wants you to come to bed.

111
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:59,650
I can't. My web page
hasn't gotten a single hit.

112
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,612
Come on.

113
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,781
You have to offer
people something...

114
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,075
a joke, an opinion, an idea.

115
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,331
That lousy pothole.

116
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:14,582
Why don't they fix it?

117
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:17,418
I heard Mayor Quimby
spent the street repair fund

118
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,045
on a secret swimming pool
for himself.

119
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,005
- Get out. Who told you that?
- Nelson.

120
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:24,342
Ooh, that's the kind of dirt
that belongs on my web page.

121
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,387
You can't post that
on the Internet.

122
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,930
You don't even know
if it's true.

123
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,641
Nelson has never steered me
wrong, honey.

124
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,351
Nelson is gold.

125
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,603
You know,
it might have been Jimbo.

126
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:37,730
Beautiful.
We have confirmation.

127
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,654
Let's see here.

128
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:47,115
X-rated girls...
already bookmarked...

129
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,366
Dial "X" for sex.

130
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,451
Mr. X?

131
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:54,539
Hmm, shall I cross
the final frontier?

132
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,546
What's this?

133
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,674
"Stolen funds?

134
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,717
Pothole money used
for swimming pool"?

135
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,595
There's no emoticon
for what I'm feeling.

136
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,390
Our Mayor's corrupt?

137
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,393
Oh, Mr. X has done this town
a great service

138
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:16,956
despite his poor grammar
and spelling.

139
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:20,231
Seymour, are you looking
at naked ladies?

140
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:21,441
No, Mother.

141
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,525
You sissy.

142
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,946
What's all this about
a secret swimming pool?

143
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:30,116
Uh, well, what secret
swimming pool is that?

144
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,369
Hey, let's look
behind that door.

145
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,246
Don't go in there.

146
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,799
Good lord, we've discovered
the ruins of an ancient city.

147
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,801
OK, you do better.

148
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,474
I did it.

149
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,350
I changed the world.

150
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:59,270
Now I know exactly
how God feels.

151
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,689
You want turkey sausage or ham?

152
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:04,317
Bring me two of every animal.

153
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,031
A new Internet watchdog

154
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:11,741
is creating a stir
in Springfield.

155
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,368
Mr. X, if that is his real name,

156
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,329
has come up
with a sensational scoop.

157
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:17,330
Darn tootin'.

158
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,540
But we must never forget
that the real news

159
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,624
is on local TV

160
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:23,336
delivered by real,
officially licensed newsmen

161
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,795
like me, Kent Brockman.

162
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,923
Coming up,
how do they get those dogs

163
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,286
to talk on the beer commercials?

164
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,717
Cowboy Steve will tell you.

165
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:33,346
I'm happy you got
the potholes filled

166
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,807
but it's still irresponsible
to present rumors as facts.

167
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,809
Maybe you should quit
while you're ahead.

168
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,729
No way. Mr. X is going
to keep on digging and probing

169
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,315
until every person
in this town is in jail.

170
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,237
Argh! A coconut bagel!

171
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,030
Like poison, it tastes.

172
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,657
All right,
I'll tell you a secret.

173
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,410
My bagels are nothing
but week-old doughnuts.

174
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,955
Aw, who am I
to point the finger?

175
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,791
I once ran over a guy
in a parking lot

176
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,752
and dumped the body
on a golf course.

177
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:08,923
What a bombshell.

178
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,594
In the interest of public safety

179
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:17,181
we have confiscated every
doughnut, bagel, cruller

180
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,016
and bear claw in the city.

181
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,184
And some coffee.

182
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,063
This morning, Mr. X reported
that your own department...

183
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:27,692
I know, I know, but I assure you
the police do not take prisoners

184
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:31,070
out of their cells
and race them... anymore.

185
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,006
What about using the electric
chair to cook chicken?

186
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:34,508
Yeah, uh,
this press conference is over.

187
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,034
- Wait. I have one more.
- No, it's over, Phil. It's over.

188
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,161
According to my uncle.

189
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,582
Miss Springfield
isn't as beautiful as she seems.

190
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,501
Word is, she uses
appearance-altering cosmetics?

191
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,628
- Oh, my God.
- That's shocking.

192
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,255
The public should be warned.

193
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:50,923
I wish Mr. X were here.

194
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,967
Oh, I don't know, Carl.

195
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:55,219
He might be closer
than you think.

196
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,178
Are you him?

197
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,262
- Are you Mr. X?
- No.

198
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,348
But you talk
in that real sly voice.

199
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,517
Hey, hey, everybody!
Homer's Mr. X.

200
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,601
I am not.

201
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,228
Or am I?

202
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,229
Are you?

203
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,230
No!

204
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,608
Well, if Mr. X were here
right now

205
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,568
I'd buy him a tall frosty.

206
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:12,069
Hey, Moe, can you keep a secret?

207
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,529
- No.
- Not even a little one?

208
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,072
- No.
- What if I just whisper it?

209
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,907
No, I tells you.

210
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,495
I've been sitting
on the toilet.

211
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,957
All the live-long day.

212
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,710
Is everything ready for
the secret meeting, Smithers?

213
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:28,711
Yes, sir.

214
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,671
I hope no one
finds out about this.

215
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,798
It's pure journalistic dynamite.

216
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,343
Uh... sir, this place
could be bugged. Shh!

217
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,387
OK, now we can talk.

218
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,139
Turn it off!

219
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,980
Journalistic dynamite.

220
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,153
Then it's agreed.

221
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,073
I'll supply you terrorists
with deadly uranium.

222
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,200
You are a credit
to the great Satan.

223
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,534
Oh, pshaw!

224
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,955
I love spying.

225
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,542
Oh, don't worry
about those fumes.

226
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,878
They'll be sucked
into that air vent.

227
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:18,928
This place is falling apart.

228
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,266
"And who's selling the uranium
to the terrorists?

229
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,271
Mm-hmm. "Montgomery Burns."

230
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,942
Now we wait.

231
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,821
Let go of me!

232
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,030
I'm innocent.

233
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,990
Whoa. He's in trouble.

234
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:43,911
We'd like to award this year's
Pulitzer Prize to Mr. X.

235
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:49,041
Unfortunately,
we don't know who he is

236
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:53,045
so his cash award will be used
to feed starving children.

237
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,297
No!
Move! Move!

238
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,800
I'm Mr. X! Gimme! Gimme!

239
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:01,595
We'll need some proof.

240
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,389
Ta-da!

241
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:06,225
He is Mr. X. Hah!

242
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:08,227
Thank you, folks.

243
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,186
And now I'm off

244
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,064
to expose more secret
conspiracies and...

245
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,942
Ooh! Oh, I bit my tongue!

246
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,571
I'm proud that
you won the Pulitzer.

247
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:19,739
Finally.

248
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:22,992
But I do feel bad
about the starving children.

249
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,827
They're with God now.

250
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,537
Oh. Well, that's good.

251
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,542
Hey, guys, how's it going?

252
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,837
Oh, don't worry
about the Mr. X thing.

253
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,672
I'm just here for a beer.

254
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,674
Uh, I don't know if I want you

255
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,468
in here no more, Homer.

256
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:44,263
I got a lot of secrets
I'd prefer to keep clandestine.

257
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,432
Terrible, disturbing secrets.

258
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,309
...so hungry.

259
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,186
I smell another Pulitzer.

260
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:51,896
Yikes!

261
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,149
Well, Helen, as it says
in the Bible...

262
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,527
I'll tell you later.

263
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,365
Oh, nobody's visiting
my web page anymore.

264
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,618
My counter
is actually going down.

265
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,749
Well, you can't post news

266
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,459
if you don't have any.

267
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,336
That's a great idea.

268
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,004
I'll make up some news.

269
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:20,257
At least take off
your Pulitzer Prize

270
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,342
when you say that.

271
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,179
Let's see now.

272
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:28,349
"Bulletin... New race discovered

273
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:32,353
living six inches under Denver."

274
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,396
Oh, Dad.

275
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,690
"All named Morton."

276
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,109
Or... "Mortonson."

277
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,321
This Mr. X says
Spanish and Italian

278
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,823
are the same language.

279
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,282
Well, that's surprising.

280
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,619
They're controlling our minds
with flu shots.

281
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:49,995
I knew it.

282
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,664
Well, kids, now aren't you glad

283
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,040
we don't believe
in inoculations?

284
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,418
Yeah.

285
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,212
Mommy?

286
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,965
Hey, Mr. X, I got a tip for you.

287
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:03,592
In science class,
they're dissecting frozen hoboes

288
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,219
and I have the bindles
to prove it.

289
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,346
Real news is great, son,

290
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:11,058
but I'm getting 1,000 hits
an hour with grade-A bull plop.

291
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,812
Give me 100 lotto tickets, Apu,

292
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,856
because Mr. X is on a roll.

293
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,650
Stop it, Apu.

294
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,277
You're scaring me.

295
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:26,531
What's going on?

296
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:31,203
Help! I'm being kidnapped!

297
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,341
Whoo!

298
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,386
This is not a library. Whoo!

299
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:48,804
Save me, Mr. X!

300
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,015
Wait. I'm Mr. X.

301
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:57,313
Huh? Whuzza?

302
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,573
What the hell?

303
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:14,163
How did I get here?
What is this place?

304
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,249
This is the island.

305
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,334
How do I get out of here?

306
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,920
Oh, no one leaves the island.

307
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,797
So I'm a prisoner? How come?

308
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,925
Because you know something.

309
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,092
But I don't know anything.

310
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,344
At least I don't think I do.

311
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,762
See you tomorrow.

312
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,180
No, you won't!

313
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,431
Hello, operator?

314
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,017
I'd like to report
a really weird island.

315
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,977
Please send lots of rescue
'copters to...

316
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:43,442
Oh, well, all right. Whatever.

317
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,703
Welcome, friend. I'm Number Six.

318
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,121
I'm number 15.

319
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,623
What number are you?

320
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,124
I am not a number.

321
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,208
I am a man

322
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,335
and don't you ever...

323
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:02,628
Oh, wait, I'm Number Five.

324
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,880
Ha-ha, in your face, Number Six!

325
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,632
Yes, well done.

326
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,884
Who are all these oddballs?

327
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,428
Well, they keep us here
because we know too much.

328
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:14,556
Number 27 there knows how
to turn water into gasoline.

329
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,810
Number 12 knows the deadly
secret behind Tic-Tacs

330
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,479
and I invented
the bottomless peanut bag.

331
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,146
Wow!

332
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,483
So, who brought us here?

333
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:25,567
I don't know.

334
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,945
- Did you bring us here?
- No.

335
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,032
Don't worry.

336
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,326
If even half of your
husband is out here.

337
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,120
Officer Scraps will find him.

338
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,372
Oh, that's a darling
name for a dog.

339
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,968
Yep, he's on the trail,
all right.

340
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,389
Better go fish him out, Lou.

341
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:56,472
OK, Chief.

342
00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:00,686
Uh, the shoes are
part of the uniform.

343
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:01,979
Right, Chief.

344
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,866
Oh, they drugged the tea.

345
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,577
They knew my one weakness.

346
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,624
Hello, Number Five.

347
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,876
How's every little thing?

348
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,003
Who are you and why are
you holding me here?

349
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:28,922
I want answers now
or I want them eventually!

350
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,507
Fair enough.
I'll level with you.

351
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:34,386
Ow. Please, don't do that.

352
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,305
- Sorry.
- I'll be blunt.

353
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,724
Your web page has
stumbled upon our secret plan.

354
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:39,892
That's impossible.

355
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,852
All my stories are bull plop.

356
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,312
Bull plop!

357
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,563
Don't be cute.

358
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,066
I'm referring
to the flu shot expose.

359
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,776
You see, we're the ones
loading them

360
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,694
with mind-controlling additives.

361
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,112
But why?

362
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:55,574
To drive people
into a frenzy of shopping.

363
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,827
That's why flu shots are given
just before Christmas.

364
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,204
Of course.

365
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,081
It's so simple.

366
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,248
Wait. No, it's not.

367
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:04,625
It's needlessly complicated.

368
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,877
Yes, it is.
And we can't have you out there

369
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,212
mucking it up, now, can we?

370
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,296
No, sir.

371
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:10,297
There's a good boy.

372
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,715
Let's get you some ice cream.

373
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,051
There we are.

374
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,055
Look, you can drug me
all you want

375
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,389
but my family won't rest

376
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,266
till they find
my drug-bloated corpse.

377
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,727
I wouldn't count on that,
Number Five.

378
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,187
As far as your family knows.

379
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,439
Homer Simpson is walking
in the front door

380
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,650
right about now.

381
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:32,444
I'm sorry. What?

382
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,572
Homie!

383
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,450
Marge, honey,
fraulein, I'm home.

384
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,369
You're not my husband.

385
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:43,163
Jah, please forgive
my unexplained two-week absence.

386
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,414
To make it up to you

387
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:47,292
we will go out to dinner
at a sensibly priced restaurant

388
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,628
then have a night
of efficient German sex.

389
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:52,297
Well, I sure don't
feel like cooking.

390
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,269
Aren't there any evil movies on?

391
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,271
Maybe something
about an evil island?

392
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,481
There's something really
different about you, Dad.

393
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,651
I am a new tie wearing.

394
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:13,986
Oh, yeah.

395
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,282
I'm tired of being
drugged and gassed.

396
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:19,992
There's got to be a way
to escape.

397
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,535
Psst.

398
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:24,079
I've worked on this
for 33 years.

399
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,498
It's made out of
toilet paper rolls

400
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,584
toothpicks and plastic forks.

401
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:32,588
And the sail is made
of scabs and dynamite.

402
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,007
It's small and it's smelly

403
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,967
but it should carry
both of us to...

404
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,261
Whoo-hoo!

405
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:44,349
Tha-that's the third time
that's happened.

406
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,024
Oh, no, an anti-escape orb!

407
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,034
Huh. That was easy.

408
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:07,623
Why did you think
a big balloon would stop people?

409
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,041
Shut up, that's why!

410
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,210
Ooh! What a horrible
four months!

411
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,669
Now to warn everybody.

412
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,714
Attention, some crazy creeps
on an island somewhere

413
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,549
are secretly running the world.

414
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,636
- Hey!
- Sorry, old chap

415
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,387
but you're proving
quite the caterpillar

416
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,722
in our buttermilk.

417
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,474
We're shutting you down.

418
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:26,558
Not a chance.

419
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,435
No one can silence me but me.

420
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:31,313
That arranged can be.

421
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,396
Wha...?

422
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,905
Yes, fight and struggle.

423
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:44,910
If I know me, he won't like
being kicked in the crotch.

424
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:47,371
Gott im Himmel!

425
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,414
Oh, Marge, it's me,
The real Homer.

426
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,541
Oh, Homie!

427
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,674
Bravo, Number Five.

428
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,593
But you know what happens
to bad little fishies

429
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,136
who wriggle through the net?

430
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,554
Can I turn this off?

431
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,473
- Absolutely.
- Hey!

432
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,058
Nice to have you back, Homer.

433
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,061
The dog thinks so, too.

434
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:14,231
"The dog thinks..."

435
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,567
Bad dog.

436
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,282
Once you get used
to the druggings

437
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,075
this isn't a bad place.

438
00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:26,952
Oh, it's wonderful.

439
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,413
Truly God's country.

440
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,501
See you on the island.

441
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:37,462
Yes, the island.

442
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,182
Captioned by
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