1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,339
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,173
Animation is so great.

3
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,300
It's way better than

4
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,260
whatever the alternative is.

5
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,097
Seems like animated shows are everywhere,

6
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,973
or were last year.

7
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,851
Cool. Japanimation.

8
00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:51,194
Electro-web, deploy!

9
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:55,573
Now I control the roboverse!

10
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,411
Your laugh is incorrect, Meganaut!

11
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:03,039
Activate prawn power!

12
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,351
Man, that Princess Tempura
is one heck of a transformazoid.

13
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,061
Wait, I'm confused.

14
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,522
Why was a wolf shooting a web?

15
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,440
Cartoons don't have to make sense.

16
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,109
He's right, you know.

17
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:34,654
Daddy, are you sure it's OK
for us to watch cartoons?

18
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,990
Mm-hmm. This one's fine and dandy, Roddy.

19
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:39,742
It's approved by a council
of Presbylutheran ministers.

20
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,416
Whatcha making there, Gravey?

21
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,835
It's a pipe bomb, Jobriath,

22
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,087
for to blow up planned parenthood.

23
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,631
I don't know, Gravey.

24
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,718
I'm sick of your lack of faith.

25
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,307
But, Gravey...

26
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,894
Yay!

27
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:10,023
And then, I created the voice
of Yellow-Bellied Yak.

28
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,733
All I need is some courage.

29
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:12,984
Courage, I tell you.

30
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,111
Excuse me, but isn't that voice

31
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,280
very similar to the Cowardly Lion?

32
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,866
Also, sir, your Loudmouth Leopard

33
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,743
is a rip-off of Jackie Gleason.

34
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:24,537
Hamina, hamina, hamina, hamina.

35
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,832
And Klutzy Kat sounds
exactly like Jerry Lewis

36
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,792
with the stealing and the lawsuit!

37
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:33,963
And, oh, nice judge, don't hurt
a person with the thing.

38
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,021
And... cut!

39
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,482
After a tough day on the set,

40
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,026
how do Itchy and Scratchy relax?

41
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:57,695
With Laramie extra-tar cigarettes.

42
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,322
Here's your smoke, Mr. Itchy.

43
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:00,990
Thank you, Louie.

44
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:13,044
Mm-hmm! And now,
there's more nico-glycerol.

45
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:14,462
I don't know what's in them.

46
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,673
I just know I can't stop smoking them.

47
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:28,142
Wait a minute. Was that cat
making out with that mouse?

48
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,228
'Cause if they were...

49
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,942
Folks, you're about to witness
the exciting new process

50
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:38,236
of motion-capture animation.

51
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,282
- Now, we'll need a volun...
- Pick me! Pick me!

52
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,494
Now, when you move any part of your body,

53
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:49,664
our furry friend will copy you exactly.

54
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,128
I'm a little teapot short and stout.

55
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,964
Here is my handle, here is my spout.

56
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:04,971
Uh, let me see.

57
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,890
I'll make him
an offer he can't refuse.

58
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,767
And that's the truth.

59
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,649
That dog's a riot.

60
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,110
Thank you.

61
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,362
Don't spay or neuter your pets.

62
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,488
Good night!

63
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:28,369
Zipperoonie.

64
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:32,081
Oh, yeah.

65
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,624
Urinal cake eroding.

66
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,961
Eroding, eroding... Gone!

67
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:46,179
That motion-capture suit is
just what this country needs.

68
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:48,097
Just think of all the hilarious motions

69
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,767
that are going uncaptured, like this.

70
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,981
See? Now wouldn't you love
to see that move

71
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,025
performed by a cartoon possum?

72
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:02,362
An opossum capering around like that
would be a smash hit.

73
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,572
That would be the world's
funniest marsupial.

74
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:08,201
You're right. That suit gizmo
could be worth billions.

75
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,578
And I'm going to get
a piece of the action.

76
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,668
So, does he still work here, or what?

77
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:23,216
I'd like to withdraw my life savings,
please. And hurry!

78
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,343
Uh, sir, this is a joint account.

79
00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:27,678
Uh, you'll need
your wife's signature, too.

80
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,348
Oh! Yes, of course.

81
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,059
Uh, she's behind that plant.

82
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,686
Hello, Marge.

83
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,063
Hi, Homie.

84
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,439
Sign this, please.

85
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,358
You're the boss.

86
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:43,277
Daddy, ask the man
for some candy.

87
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,280
No, no. No candy for you.

88
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:49,158
Well, at least
get some candy for yourself.

89
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,452
Kids.

90
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,373
Here's your candy.

91
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:56,457
So long, sucker!

92
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,751
Uh, sir, your life savings.

93
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:02,713
Uh, yes, I see that it's in bill form.

94
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:03,840
Excellent.

95
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:10,304
I'd like to buy 500 shares
of Animotion Incorporated.

96
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,351
OK. Uh, now before I execute this order,

97
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,937
are you sure you understand
the risks of stock ownership?

98
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,272
Absolutely.

99
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,524
We're in the money.

100
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,776
We're in the money.

101
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,741
You heard the monkey. Make the trade.

102
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,121
For automated stock prices,

103
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,873
please state the company name.

104
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,916
- Animotion.
- Animotion,

105
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,751
up one and one-half.

106
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:44,547
- Yahoo!
- Yahoo, up six and a quarter.

107
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,299
Huh? What is this crap?

108
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:49,343
Fox Broadcasting, down eight.

109
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,804
Sleep tight, my beloved.

110
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,849
You're my ticket out of this hellhole.

111
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:56,559
- Homer!
- Sorry.

112
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,270
Our ticket out of this hellhole.

113
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,067
Turning to the stock market,
Animotion is up an eighth...

114
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,819
- Yes!
- ...after plunging

115
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,738
75 points this morning.

116
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,365
Oh, I hope plunging means up

117
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,367
and 75 means 200.

118
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,245
The firm declared super-duper bankruptcy,

119
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:20,082
which is terrible news for the company's
only stockholder, Homer Simpson.

120
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,586
Family meeting!

121
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,129
Family meeting!

122
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,615
OK, people, let's keep this short.

123
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,300
We all want to get home to our families.

124
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,678
All right, first item,

125
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,223
I lost our life savings
in the stock market.

126
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,183
Now, let's move on to the real issue,

127
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,769
Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup.

128
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:43,022
Well, maybe if Mom didn't
make such dry waffles.

129
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,106
There, I said it.

130
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,459
Well, maybe if you ate some meat

131
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,527
you'd have a natural lubricant.

132
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,904
You lost all our money?

133
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:52,573
Point of order,
I didn't lose all the money.

134
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,992
There was enough left for this cowbell.

135
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,330
Damn you, eBay!

136
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:09,048
I have a great way
to solve our money woes.

137
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:12,385
You rent your womb
to a rich, childless couple.

138
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,845
If you agree,
signify by getting indignant.

139
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,807
Are you crazy? I'm not going to be
a surrogate mother.

140
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,685
Come on, Marge. We're a team.

141
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:24,230
It's uter-us, not uter-you.

142
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,399
Forget it.

143
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,779
You know, Homer, I got
a great way to make money.

144
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,489
I'm a human guinea pig.

145
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,157
You mean, like medical testing?

146
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,244
Yeah, medical, military, chewing stuff.

147
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,204
- Chewing stuff?
- Yeah,

148
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,956
like you chew on a telephone wire

149
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,249
till you get a shock.

150
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,209
Oh, oh, right. OK.

151
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,253
Yeah, but aren't
those experiments dangerous?

152
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,338
Ah, you get a few side effects.

153
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,341
- Are those ears?
- Ow! Not so loud!

154
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,350
First, we'll test this
experimental perfume on you.

155
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,185
It burns! It burns!

156
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,816
- We'll call it "Desert Breeze."
- Mm-hmm.

157
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:15,072
That appetite suppressant is amazing.

158
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:18,284
Homer, you really have
no desire to eat that food?

159
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,245
Food? I'm blind!

160
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,000
Who's going to buy a pill
that makes you blind?

161
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,419
We'll let marketing worry about that.

162
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,890
Where did that rat come from?

163
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,600
He must have brought it in with him.

164
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,312
Damn it.

165
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,897
Man, is he dumb.

166
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,482
Where do they get these subjects?

167
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,942
He's a little too well-fed to be a wino.

168
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,486
Hey, what's that?

169
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,446
Zoom in on section eight.

170
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:01,160
Rotate 20 degrees.

171
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:12,880
Mr. Simpson, I'm afraid you have a crayon
lodged in your brain.

172
00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:15,424
There's a crayon in my brain?

173
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,512
But I've had thousands of head x-rays.

174
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,514
How come no one ever noticed it before?

175
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,182
Oh, I can answer that.

176
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,142
You see, whenever I pick up an x-ray,

177
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,852
I always hold it like this.

178
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:30,648
My thumb must have covered up
the crayon every time.

179
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,068
I'll show myself out.

180
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,088
Do you have any idea
how this might have happened?

181
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:39,407
Well, I'm not sure,
but it might have happened

182
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,826
when I was six.

183
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:44,912
Fourteen,

184
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:47,873
fifteen,

185
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,376
sixteen!

186
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,461
Whoo-hoo!

187
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,673
Oh, I don't feel so good.

188
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,886
Uh, I think that's all of them.

189
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,972
Mr. Simpson, this could be responsible

190
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,141
for your subnormal intelligence.

191
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,684
Hey, I came here to be drugged,

192
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,061
electrocuted and probed, not insulted.

193
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,105
We could remove the crayon for you.

194
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,691
It could vastly increase your brain power,

195
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,067
or it could possibly kill you.

196
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:19,196
Hmm... increase my killing power, eh?

197
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,240
Let's do it.

198
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,995
Oh, Homer, where have you been?

199
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:30,082
I just underwent a procedure
to increase my IQ 50 points.

200
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,251
- Really?
- And they gave me

201
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,920
this spiffy nerd ensemble, too.

202
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,922
Do you feel smarter?

203
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,759
Is the capital of North Dakota Bismarck?

204
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,219
It is.

205
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:45,014
I don't believe it.
Say something else smart.

206
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,891
Dr. Joyce Brothers may be well known,

207
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:50,144
but her psychological
credentials are highly suspect.

208
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,187
It's true!

209
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,859
Now, who's up for a trip
to the library tomorrow?

210
00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,905
Notice I no longer say
"liberry" or "tomorry."

211
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:03,157
I'd love to go to the library with you.

212
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,742
It's a date.

213
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,041
Dad, did you read all these books today?

214
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,753
Everything from Hop on Pop
to Death Be Not Proud.

215
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,798
It's so tragic the way they hopped on Pop.

216
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,342
I always dreamed
you'd be my library buddy.

217
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,135
- Get out.
- No, really.

218
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:26,180
I think books have an amazing
power to bring people together.

219
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,933
Look, even Cletus is checking one out.

220
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,560
Now, hold still.

221
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,897
Nothing cracks a turtle like Leon Uris.

222
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,234
Ow! Dang it! Ow!

223
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,903
That sonata may not be

224
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,321
a Glenn Gould performance,

225
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:45,491
but I must say it's "good as Gould."

226
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,038
Hey, Flanders, heading for church?

227
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,123
Well, I thought I could
save you a little time.

228
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,084
Ooh, found a new shortcut?

229
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,878
Better. I was working
on a flat tax proposal

230
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:01,298
and I accidentally proved there's no God.

231
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,467
We'll just see about that.

232
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:07,054
Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mistake.

233
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,431
Nope, it's airtight.

234
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,017
Can't let this little doozy get out.

235
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,652
Welcome to the third lecture in our series

236
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,988
on "not putting things up your nose."

237
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,240
Please welcome Homer Simpson.

238
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,619
I am here to give hope to the least of you

239
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,289
because we all have a crayon up our nose.

240
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,749
Maybe it's not a crayon made of wax.

241
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,545
- Maybe it's a crayon made of prejudice.
- Question.

242
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,839
- Yes, Nelson.
- A moron says what?

243
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,507
Not being a moron, I wouldn't know.

244
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,467
However...

245
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,636
- What?
- Ladies and gentlemen,

246
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,055
I give you your moron.

247
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,727
You see, it's cool to be smart.

248
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,814
So be like me, and use your minds.

249
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,691
Paint a painting, sing a song,

250
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,359
and dance a dance.

251
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,197
Thank you. Unfortunately,
due to budget cuts,

252
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,325
we are canceling art, music and dance.

253
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,743
Please evacuate the auditorium

254
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,912
before it's bulldozed into a mini-mall.

255
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,171
So... is that your usual coffee mug?

256
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,715
- Yup.
- Huh. Looks a little bigger.

257
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,593
It's not.

258
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,679
Whatcha mailing, Homer?

259
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:34,099
I've compiled a thorough
safety report on this plant.

260
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,060
How come you're not
giving it to Mr. Burns?

261
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,854
I've decided to disintermediate
the local authorities

262
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,941
and send it straight to
the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

263
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,943
Yeah, and just in time.

264
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,862
Every day there's more skin on my pillow.

265
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,281
Yeah, it's nice to have
someone with brains

266
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,866
in this nuclear plant.

267
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,743
Homer's the guy who rigged up my pants

268
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,453
with this special codpiece.

269
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:56,538
- Comfy, isn't it?
- Oh, yeah.

270
00:15:56,622 --> 00:16:00,125
It provides the freedom and protection
I so sorely need.

271
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,460
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

272
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,426
It seems the federales

273
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,221
have been tipped off
by an anonymous whistle-blower.

274
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,684
Now, while the plant
is brought up to code,

275
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,936
there will be massive layoffs.

276
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,729
That is to say, total layoffs.

277
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,981
Toodles.

278
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,406
Way to put us
out of work, genius.

279
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,409
I can't feed my family with a codpiece.

280
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,745
Hey, you can't hate me.

281
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,539
I'm your better.

282
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:40,791
Your better!

283
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:43,961
Ooh, you've really done it
this time, dum-dum.

284
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,719
Burn! Burn! Burn!

285
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,679
Burn! Burn! Burn!

286
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,180
Effigy, eh?

287
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,182
Yeah, nothing burns like an effigy.

288
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,102
Hey, that's me.

289
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,645
Stop that.

290
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,231
The fire inspector would be appalled.

291
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,859
Don't tell me how to feel.

292
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,862
So, you all hate me?

293
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:11,280
That's right, brainiac.

294
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,656
You cost us our jobs,

295
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,742
which we need for working.

296
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,660
Not to mention driving to.

297
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,037
And I was a lot happier

298
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,581
before I knew Dame Edna was a man.

299
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:21,790
A lot happier.

300
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,167
You ain't welcome here

301
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,085
no more, smart boy.

302
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:28,172
Hmm. I'm detecting a distinct strain

303
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:31,592
of anti-intellectualism
in this tavern... Ah!

304
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,761
Power off, Einstein.

305
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,890
Lisa, why didn't you warn me?

306
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:41,435
Being a brain has alienated me
from all my friends.

307
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:45,397
Dad, as intelligence goes up,
happiness often goes down.

308
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,191
In fact, I made a graph.

309
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,818
I make a lot of graphs.

310
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,945
Well, what gets you through the day?

311
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,491
Oh, many things, tai chi, chai tea.

312
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,036
But I find, when I can't keep the unhappy
thoughts from swirling in my brain,

313
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,622
the best thing is
usually a nice, long walk.

314
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,917
A walk? That's a really good idea.

315
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,055
Do you take this woman

316
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,099
to be your lawfully wedded wife?

317
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,725
I do.

318
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,477
One groom...

319
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,312
Two grooms?

320
00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:26,605
But he...

321
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:27,940
But you can't...

322
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,858
Oh, my medication.

323
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:32,986
Radical.

324
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,114
Is that your final answer?

325
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,201
I don't understand.

326
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,078
That wasn't funny.

327
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,664
Wait a minute.
Somebody's not laughing here.

328
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,041
- It's him.
- Hey, don't blame me.

329
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,043
This movie is tired and predictable.

330
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,546
You know she's going to
wind up marrying Richard Gere.

331
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,383
I thought she'd wind up
with that rich snob.

332
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,802
Ably played by Bill Paxton.

333
00:18:56,885 --> 00:19:00,389
It's Bill Pullman, you fool! Ah!

334
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,560
Point out your plot holes elsewhere.

335
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,563
Is there no place for the man

336
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,524
with the 105 IQ?

337
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:30,085
I'm a Spaulding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

338
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,796
Change me back to the blissful boob I was.

339
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,840
I'm sorry, we don't play God here.

340
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:37,926
That's ridiculous.
You do nothing but play God.

341
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,637
And I think your octoparrot would agree.

342
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,223
Polly shouldn't be.

343
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,267
Look, what if we gave you the name

344
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,768
of an unlicensed surgeon?

345
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,562
Oh, that would be heaven.

346
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,190
"Moe Szyslak"?

347
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,150
That's right. I'm a surgeon.

348
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,530
So what do you want here?

349
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,574
Appendectomy? Lipo?

350
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,117
Or... the sampler?

351
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,368
That's very popular.

352
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,579
I want you to stick this crayon

353
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,372
into my brain.

354
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,832
No problem.

355
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:12,002
The ol' Crayola oblongata.

356
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,886
Ah. Now for a little powder blue.

357
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,349
Oh, no. He wouldn't.

358
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:28,560
All right. Tell me when I hit
the sweet spot.

359
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,396
Deeper, you pusillanimous pilsener-pusher.

360
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,940
All right, all right.

361
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:37,069
Defense! Uh! Uh! Defense! Uh! Uh!

362
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:40,155
Uh, that's pretty dumb, but, uh...

363
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,407
Extended warranty?

364
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:43,784
How can I lose?

365
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:44,868
Perfect.

366
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:50,374
Sweetheart, a missing crayon
could be anywhere.

367
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,210
Who wants lottery tickets?

368
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,462
OK, it's in his brain.

369
00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:57,005
Dad, how could you?

370
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,675
We were connecting
in such a meaningful way.

371
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,218
We were what-what in a what-what?

372
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,555
Yeah, which reminds me, I need a sandwich.

373
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:08,558
Hey, what's this?

374
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:09,744
I don't know. Must be something

375
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,520
I wrote before Moe fixed me.

376
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,441
"Lisa, I'm taking the coward's way out,

377
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,361
but before I do, I just want you to know,

378
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:23,865
being smart made me appreciate
how amazing you really are."

379
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,535
Oh, Dad.

380
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,871
Oh, you want a hug.

381
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,291
Well, that I know how to do.

382
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,798
Mmm... ug.

383
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,702
Captioned by
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