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00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,381
CHORUS SINGS:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,010
(school bell rings)
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(whistle blows)
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00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:20,895
(beeping)
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00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,485
(playing the blues)
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(playing the blues)
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(tires screeching)
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D’oh!
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(screams)
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00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,622
(tires screeching)
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00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,375
(medieval folklore music
playing)
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00:00:57,932 --> 00:01:00,727
♪ ♪
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KRUSTY:
Hey, hey, kids!
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It’s a beautiful,
sunny Saturday morning.
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So get ready for six hours
of cartoons!
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(goofy laugh)
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Today’s Krusty’s Korean
Kartoon Kavalcade starts
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00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:42,227
with an exciting adventure
of "The Trans-Clown-O-Morphs."
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♪ Trans-Clown-O-Morphs ♪
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♪ Transforming clowns
that morph ♪
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00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,528
♪ Sent to Earth to defeat
the evil Dino-Robo-Bots ♪
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♪ Trans-Clown-O-Morphs ♪
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00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,786
♪ Transforming clowns
that morph ♪
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00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:04,916
♪ And their human friend
is you ♪
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00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,754
Back off,
Pterodactyl-bots.
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00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,548
You’ll never conquer
Big Top City.
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00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,842
Oh, really?
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It’s time to make you
Trans-Clown-O-Morphs extinct.
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Oh, no!
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Only my Saturday morning viewers
can save me!
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Buy my cereal,
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find the secret code inside
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00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,314
and text me the message
"start the day with Kellogg’s"
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00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,524
or I will die.
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00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:30,817
Enough from you!
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(grunts)
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Hurry!
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Guess no one’s buying my cereal.
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Buy or I’ll die.
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00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:41,411
Mom, we need to throw out
all this Krusty cereal
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00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,121
and get Robot Clown cereal!
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Every week we have
to buy something else
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to save that transforming
clown that morphs.
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I want you to watch a show
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that isn’t just
one long commercial.
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ANNOUNCER:
Justin Leonard lines up
the putt.
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This is for par and a share
of sixth place.
48
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,765
Mom, we need
a Callaway titanium
49
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,142
perimeter-weighted driver!
50
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,894
It adds yards to any swing.
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00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,354
(groans)
You two have been bombarded
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00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,356
with enough commercial images.
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00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,610
Lisa, I’ve got a big bunch
of black bananas.
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You know what that means.
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Banana bread!
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And Bart, you go with your
father to Shelbyville
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00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,620
to get the beanbag chairs
re-beaned.
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00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,247
Oh, no, I hate
the beanbag store.
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00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:28,750
The clerks are always shouting
in Hebrew on their cell phones.
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00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,795
So Dean Martin would
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00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,756
show up at the last minute
and do everything
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-in just one take?
-That’s right.
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00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,594
But Wikipedia said he was
"passionate about rehearsal."
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Don’t you worry about Wikipedia.
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00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,514
We’ll change it
when we get home.
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00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,392
We’ll change a lot of things.
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Hey, check it out!
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00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:51,147
I wouldn’t mind driving that
over a prairie dog village.
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Honk to the driver!
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(honking)
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(horn tooting)
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00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,862
Martin?!
What’s a tool like you
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00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,197
doing on something
cool like that?
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00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,740
Yeah, what’s
the deal, loser?
75
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:03,159
I’m operating
a Combine Harvester.
76
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,912
It’s part of my duties
as a member of 4-H.
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00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,747
4-H Club?
Is it dangerous?
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00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,500
Indeed, it has
the most finger loss
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00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,335
of any youth organization.
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Can I join, Dad?
Can I? Can I? Can I?
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00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,839
Son, a lot of these
youth organizations
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00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,509
encourage parents to get
involved in the activities.
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00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,927
-Not this one.
-Sold!
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See ya.
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00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,519
"I pledge my head
to clearer thinking,
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my heart to greater loyalty,
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00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,146
my hands.."
oh, man,
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how many "H’s"
does this thing have?
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Yeah, there’s a bunch.
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Let’s skip the oath and, uh,
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get you behind the wheel
of something you can’t handle.
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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Raise articulator,
set hydraulic brakes
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and endorse farm subsidy check
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for crops I didn’t grow.
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♪ ♪
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Okay, 4-H-ers,
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00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,214
here’s your summer project:
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00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,842
pick a calf and raise him up
big, strong
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and, of course, God-fearing.
102
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And at the end of the summer,
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the best calf wins
a blue ribbon.
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I want a tough one.
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(gruntin) Whoa!
106
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I didn’t come here today
expecting to fall in love.
107
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,404
Hmm.
108
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,281
Hey, it’s the runt.
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00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,324
I’ll take anything
but the runt.
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(mooing)
111
00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:12,497
Aww... looks like
we’re partners.
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You’re a scrappy little misfit,
just like me.
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Anyone want to trade?
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No reasonable offer refused.
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I’ll take a chicken.
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(Ralph grunting)
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Pullet, Bantam, Orpington,
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Pullet, Flemish Giant,
119
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-Pullet, Leghorn...
-Keep it down!
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I’m trying to feed my runt.
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Here, I’ll show you what to do.
122
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All right,
I get it, I get it.
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By the way,
I’m Mary.
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I’m Bart.
This is my calf, Lulubelle.
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Uh, you know
that’s a boy, right?
126
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,074
Oh, I thought she was
peeing out of her nipple.
127
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How ’bout you just
call him "Lou"?
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That’s great.
It rhymes "moo."
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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(crowing)
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So what do you think
of my calf?
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00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:22,210
Now son, I’m not here to judge.
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(whispers):
Actually, yes, you are.
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Eh, what?
Oh, right, I am.
137
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Well, I don’t know
much about cows,
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but I think we have a winner!
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(applause)
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You’re the greatest cow
in the world!
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I’m going to be
your friend forever.
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Bart, you do know
what happens next?
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Something happens next?
144
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,606
Son, your calf is going
to be taken to a feedlot...
145
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:44,941
Lots of feed-- that sounds good.
146
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...then slaughtered.
147
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,069
But he won!
148
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,238
Why don’t you kill
the loser cows?
149
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,614
Oh, we will,
150
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,991
but your cow
gets to go first.
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00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,376
Mom, they’re going to kill Lou
152
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,503
and make him into food and
fringe vests for gay cowboys.
153
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,171
Can we buy him back? Can we?
154
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,090
(groans)
155
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,759
Aw, honey, we’d love to,
156
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:16,556
but a prizewinning bull
is thousands of dollars.
157
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:17,974
Oh, man.
158
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,226
Son, let this be a lesson:
159
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:23,938
never work hard and don’t form
emotional attachments.
160
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,107
Also, don’t be a cow.
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(mooing)
162
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Lou?
163
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,324
(mooing continues)
164
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,619
Oh, man, now I feel so bad
I’m imagining I hear your voice.
165
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(mooing angrily)
166
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,706
Leave me alone!
167
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:42,915
It’s not my fault
there’s nothing good to eat
168
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on this planet except meat!
169
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,169
(mooing continues)
170
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,588
I can’t help you!
171
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,590
I’m just a little boy!
172
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,633
(sobbing)
173
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,135
Bart, are you all right?
174
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,345
I hear Lou mooing
in my head.
175
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,014
What you heard
was your conscience
176
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,932
telling you to stop
eating meat.
177
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,768
If I could save Lou,
I’d never eat meat again.
178
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,979
Not even prosciutto and melon!
179
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,856
(pounding, chicken clucking)
180
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,068
"Anguished Animals III"?
181
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,112
That wasn’t my conscience
mooing, it was...
182
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,281
Tress MacNeille!
183
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,949
(chuckles sheepishly)
184
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,368
All right,
so I put that there
185
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,662
to get you to stop
eating meat.
186
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,831
But your body is going
to miss the protein,
187
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,625
so you’ll have
to take these pills.
188
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,294
Sorry, Lis.
189
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,046
I can’t be
a vegetarian.
190
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,547
I love the taste of death.
191
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,091
But please, help me
get my cow back.
192
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,010
Okay, meet me halfway.
193
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:38,262
Stop stirring your lemonade
with a sausage.
194
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,847
(groans):
Give me a minute.
195
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,599
-Come on.
-(groans)
196
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,810
-It’s a no-brainer.
-Okay.
197
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:54,945
Aw, man, I never figured
the gate would be locked.
198
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,614
It’s like they knew
we were coming.
199
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,491
Don’t worry; I called
some animal activists
200
00:10:58,574 --> 00:10:59,575
who can help us
get in.
201
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,160
I’ll just give
the signal.
202
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,162
Milk is murder.
203
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,915
Cheese is
genocide.
204
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,626
Good to see you, Windsong.
205
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,795
-Windsong?
-Yeah, it’s my code name.
206
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,713
This is Compost
and this is Solar Panel.
207
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,090
What’s my code name?
208
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,883
(all murmuring)
209
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,889
Lisa’s Brother.
210
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:23,140
(groans)
211
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,727
Forgive us for this violation,
Mother Fence.
212
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,271
We honor
your chain-link spirit.
213
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:37,905
Lou.
214
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:40,950
Lou.
215
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,078
Lou, where are you,
little buddy?
216
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,746
(moos)
217
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,082
Lou, what happened to you?
218
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:49,792
You got fat.
219
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:50,918
Of course he did.
220
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,796
His food is laced
with growth hormones.
221
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,719
I don’t care how much
of a pumped-up freak you are.
222
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,263
I still love you.
223
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,140
The way Barry Bonds’ kids
probably still love him.
224
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,021
(straining):
Come on. Come on.
225
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,481
How we going to get
him out of here?
226
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,482
(gasps)
227
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,075
Wow, you did learn a lot
at 4-H.
228
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,035
Hell, yeah.
229
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,121
(moos)
230
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,124
That was a
practice cow.
231
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,792
(all mooing)
232
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,885
(mooing)
233
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,178
What are we going
to do with him?
234
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,430
Well, your friend Mary
from 4-H lives on a farm.
235
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:45,473
Lou can stay with her.
236
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:48,100
Hmm, a cow on a farm.
237
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,227
With a moo-moo here
and a moo-moo there...
238
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,729
Yes, it works.
239
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,523
All right, Lou,
to freedom!
240
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,691
Lou?
241
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,152
(bored mooing)
242
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,240
(backup warning beeping)
243
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:11,081
Howdy, what’s yours
that mine’s is Cletus?
244
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,334
-Huh?
-He wants to know
your name.
245
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:14,293
Oh, I’m Bart Simpson.
246
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:15,294
Is Mary here?
247
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:16,962
Hang on.
248
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:20,216
Hey, Mary, there’s a boy here
askin’ on you!
249
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,926
Hey, Bart.
250
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,719
I didn’t know
Cletus was your dad.
251
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,972
She had a regular city birth
in a gas station.
252
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,058
The feedlot wants to kill Lou
and I can’t keep him.
253
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,100
-Can I give him to you?
-(gasps)
254
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,228
Oh!
255
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:36,982
Brandine, a young feller
just offered Mary a cow!
256
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,442
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God!
257
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,069
What’s going on?
258
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,821
According to the traditions
of the hill folk,
259
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,572
by giving our
daughter a cow,
260
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,783
you’ve made a formal
proposal of marriage.
261
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:46,951
Huh?
262
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,244
(gasps)
263
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,371
This calls for a hoedown.
264
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:54,416
Blow her a song of love.
265
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,836
(blows notes repeatedly)
266
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,880
Whoa, I said love,
not lust.
267
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,218
I can’t get married.
268
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:05,886
I’m only ten.
269
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:09,014
And I have dreams.
I got 1580 on my DQAT.
270
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,015
DQAT?
271
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,767
Dairy Queen
Aptitude Test.
272
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,395
800 ice cream,
780 Brazier.
273
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,730
Bart, I’ll find a way to
get you out of this wedding.
274
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:20,150
In the meantime, just say yes,
so Lou will be safe.
275
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:21,735
Look how happy he is.
276
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,616
I wished I had a tail
what did swap away flies.
277
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,118
Mine just hangs there.
278
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,703
(gulps)
279
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:33,163
All right, sir,
I’ll marry your daughter.
280
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,540
We’re gonna have us
281
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,584
the fanciest wedding
in the county.
282
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,336
Cletus, open up a wall
so Dia-Betty can come.
283
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:43,215
Oh, just bring ’em to a window,
so I can pinch ’em.
284
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,718
We always figured
someday Mary would marry.
285
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,887
That’s why we called her Mary.
286
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:51,724
We name all our kids after what
we think’s gonna happen to ’em.
287
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,517
Ain’t that right,
Stabbed-in-jail?
288
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,936
We’ll see who stabs who.
289
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,646
♪ Doot de-doo de-doo
doo-de de-doo. ♪
290
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,814
(gasps)
291
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,190
Strained spinach?
292
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,901
I’m not going
to eat that.
293
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,028
It’s yucky.
294
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,698
Yo, I’m the coolest puppet
in Sockville,
295
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:11,035
and I love
strained spinach.
296
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:12,036
Really?
297
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,246
I guess I’ll
try it then.
298
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,956
(chewing loudly)
299
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,419
Mmm, I wonder
if Maggie would like it.
300
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,505
Mom, Dad!
301
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,133
Bart’s marrying
one of Cletus’ daughters.
302
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,053
We’re putting a stop
to this right now.
303
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,346
Wait.
304
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,306
If you stop the wedding,
Bart’s cow will die,
305
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:33,724
and he really cares
about that cow
306
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:37,227
and Bart doesn’t usually care
about stuff, so help.
307
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,563
Hmm... all right,
I’ve got an idea,
308
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,398
but it’ll take
a lot of sewing.
309
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,858
-I’ll get your fabrics.
-And I’ll make sure
310
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,319
Flanders doesn’t bother us.
311
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,197
-(grunts)
-Ow! What was that for?
312
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,866
Bart’s in trouble and we don’t
need your stupid comments.
313
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,660
(chuckling):
Zippin’ it up.
314
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,663
(jug band playing)
315
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,054
Okay, let’s set up the
chitlin bar over here.
316
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,515
Uh, start drizzling the crawdad
reduction on the possum pouches.
317
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,933
And excuse me,
318
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,560
why are the spittoons
so far from the chaw station?
319
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,646
This is a wedding, people,
not a funeral.
320
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,111
Here you go,
sweetheart.
321
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,071
Something old...
322
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,616
...something new,
323
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,201
something burrowed,
324
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:36,120
and something stew.
325
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,163
Mama, you know I love
your somethin’ stew,
326
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,873
but I got no appetite
for any of this.
327
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,125
Aw...
328
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,876
you just got cold feet...
329
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,713
’cause you’re barefoot
and our floor’s made of mud.
330
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,590
Have you seen my sister?
331
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,051
No, and she’s cutting it
pretty close.
332
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,845
We’re about ten minutes away
from "You may kiss the bride."
333
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:54,388
Kiss?!
334
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:56,682
I thought we were
just getting married.
335
00:16:56,765 --> 00:17:01,353
Do you, Bart Simpson,
take Mary Wrestlemania Spuckler
336
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,272
to be your lawful
wedded wife
337
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,607
for as long as you
both shall reckon?
338
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,861
(gulps)
339
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,487
I do.
340
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,115
And since we don’t need
to hear from womenfolk
341
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,576
what they think,
I now pronounce you...
342
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,161
MARGE:
Stop the wedding!
343
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,579
(all gasp)
344
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:21,123
Bart is a ten-year-old boy.
345
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:24,585
He still sits in the driveway
and pretends to drive the car.
346
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,962
(all laughing)
347
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,964
Mom, I have to do this.
348
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,466
I love that
big ol’ cow.
349
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,800
How could
you say that?
350
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,886
I starved myself to
get into this dress.
351
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,721
No, no, no, no, no,
you look great, honey.
352
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,140
Mom, if I don’t get married,
they’ll take Lou.
353
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,601
I’m sorry, Bart,
354
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:44,021
but sometimes
your mom knows best.
355
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,648
Son, I’m afraid
hillbilly law is clear.
356
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,650
If this marriage is off,
357
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,028
then that cow is going
back to the feedlot,
358
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,405
and Mary must taste
the bitter agony
359
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,949
of being an old maid of 11.
360
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,618
Don’t feel
bad, sweetie.
361
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,995
I was 13 when I
married your father.
362
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,415
Yeah, and you’d already
been divorced four times.
363
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,420
Good-bye, Lou.
364
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,880
I’ll never forget you.
365
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:13,175
(moos)
366
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,052
Mom, how could
you do this to me?
367
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:16,428
Sweetie, don’t you think
368
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,971
your mom might have
a trick up her sleeve?
369
00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:18,972
No.
370
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,641
Trust me.
371
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,726
HOMER:
D’oh! I mean, moo!
372
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,064
Okay, they bought it.
373
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,649
Have you got Lou in your car?
374
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,484
Roger that.
375
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:31,401
(bumper scraping road)
376
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,196
You guys come and get me as soon
as they dump me in the feedlot.
377
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,495
Huh?
378
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,747
Ooh, "Laughter House."
379
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,374
With the world
in the shape it’s in,
380
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,334
we could all use some comedy.
381
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:54,174
Okay, have fun at
the Laughter House.
382
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,844
Now I’ll just turn off my
phone to save the battery.
383
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,561
Great plan, Mom.
384
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,688
But where is Lou
going to go?
385
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,523
Don’t worry, Bart.
386
00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:12,025
In India, your cow
will be treated like a god
387
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,944
and receive the food
and medical care
388
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:17,156
that in America would go
to human beings.
389
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,782
(moos)
390
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,367
Lou,
391
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,703
if that plane leaves the ground
and you’re not on it,
392
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:23,912
you’ll regret it.
393
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,416
Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow, but soon,
394
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,877
and definitely
after they kill you
395
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,712
and make you into sloppy joes.
396
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,515
Here’s looking at you, cud.
397
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:54,443
Okay, Lisa, I’m turning
my phone back on
398
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,653
to see if your father
is ready to be picked up.
399
00:19:56,737 --> 00:20:00,657
Huh, I have
over 400 text messages.
400
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:03,118
-(machinery clicking
and pounding)
-Ready... for... pickup.
401
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,413
Ready...
for... pickup.
402
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,168
I’m a human being!
403
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:12,377
Let me go!
404
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,718
(groans)
405
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,179
FEMALE VOICE:
You are now entering
the killing floor.
406
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,056
Hmm, that sounds
like Tress MacNeille.
407
00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:29,269
(screaming)
408
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:40,656
Marge, kids,
the things I saw.
409
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:43,533
It makes me never want
to eat meat again.
410
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,995
Just fish, chicken,
burgers, veal on Fridays,
411
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,538
deer, but only
in season;
412
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:52,292
and if necessary, the
sweetest meat of all: human.
413
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,586
For you, Dad,
I consider that a victory.
414
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,632
You’re in a better place now,
Lou,
415
00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:01,593
and I’ll always be proud
that for once in my life,
416
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,553
I had a cow, man.
417
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,293
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
418
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,394
Shh.
419
00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:57,524
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