1
00:00:05,754 --> 00:00:07,754
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

2
00:00:11,684 --> 00:00:13,117
I'm scared, Mom.

3
00:00:13,152 --> 00:00:14,552
What if they take me?

4
00:00:14,587 --> 00:00:16,487
Don't worry, Barterfinger.

5
00:00:16,522 --> 00:00:18,322
You're always the last.

6
00:00:18,357 --> 00:00:21,859
Even boxes of stale raisins go
before you, Butterfinger...

7
00:00:21,894 --> 00:00:23,427
I mean, Barterfinger.

8
00:00:23,462 --> 00:00:24,962
(GASPS)

9
00:00:24,997 --> 00:00:26,730
No one ever wants the apple.

10
00:00:26,766 --> 00:00:29,856
They must be afraid there's
a razor blade in me.

11
00:00:29,892 --> 00:00:32,192
Yeah. That's the reason.

12
00:00:32,227 --> 00:00:34,657
Maybe you'll be dipped in caramel.

13
00:00:34,693 --> 00:00:36,189
Oh, whoop-dee-doo.

14
00:00:36,224 --> 00:00:37,575
(ALL GASPING)

15
00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:39,243
What the... Where am I going?

16
00:00:39,278 --> 00:00:41,378
You're going to heaven, Dad.

17
00:00:41,414 --> 00:00:44,127
GRAMPA: Those pearly gates
look a lot like teeth!

18
00:00:44,162 --> 00:00:45,716
Change is always hard.

19
00:00:45,751 --> 00:00:47,690
Well, I guess that...

20
00:00:47,741 --> 00:00:49,908
(GRAMPA SCREAMING)

21
00:00:49,965 --> 00:00:51,965
Cigarette breath!

22
00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:57,003
Oh, thank God.

23
00:00:57,039 --> 00:00:58,705
We made it through the night.

24
00:01:01,176 --> 00:01:03,977
And now you're on a high shelf,

25
00:01:04,012 --> 00:01:07,848
where they'll forget about you forever!

26
00:01:07,883 --> 00:01:11,017
(CRYING): Why won't the earth take me?

27
00:01:11,053 --> 00:01:13,347
I hear you, my friend.

28
00:01:14,122 --> 00:01:16,590
Mmm, candy.

29
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:18,080
Homer, no!

30
00:01:18,115 --> 00:01:19,659
Don't be silly, honey.

31
00:01:19,695 --> 00:01:21,294
Chocolate doesn't feel anything.

32
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:23,163
No! God, no!

33
00:01:23,198 --> 00:01:24,798
Dad...!

34
00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:27,133
I can't listen to this horror!

35
00:01:27,169 --> 00:01:28,468
Okay, I'm on it.

36
00:01:28,504 --> 00:01:29,669
(SCREAMS STOPS ABRUPTLY)

37
00:01:29,705 --> 00:01:31,037
Thank you.

38
00:01:32,074 --> 00:01:33,707
(CHEWING NOISILY)

39
00:01:45,459 --> 00:01:48,879
(THE EXORCIST THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

40
00:01:57,142 --> 00:01:59,208
(THUNDER CRASHES)

41
00:01:59,310 --> 00:02:01,310
♪ ♪

42
00:02:09,837 --> 00:02:13,085
It's here! Maggie's first Pazuzu!

43
00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:14,932
Your father ordered this because...

44
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:16,834
Mm, why did you order this?

45
00:02:16,869 --> 00:02:18,669
I thought it was pizza.

46
00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:20,404
Yeah, I'll send it back tomorrow.

47
00:02:20,439 --> 00:02:22,706
Tonight we have a cocktail party.

48
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,541
And we came early.

49
00:02:24,660 --> 00:02:27,861
And I left my face on your hand towel.

50
00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:29,396
(MARGE GRUMBLES)

51
00:02:30,399 --> 00:02:31,365
Hmm.

52
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,899
(HUMMING A MELODY)

53
00:02:34,837 --> 00:02:36,770
(GROANS)

54
00:02:36,805 --> 00:02:38,171
Don't worry, Maggie.

55
00:02:38,207 --> 00:02:40,507
While Mommy and Daddy
carouse downstairs,

56
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:43,276
you'll be here in the dark with Pazuzu!

57
00:02:43,311 --> 00:02:45,879
(TO "WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING):
♪ When Pazuzu's eyes ♪

58
00:02:45,914 --> 00:02:47,347
♪ Are glaring ♪

59
00:02:47,383 --> 00:02:51,118
♪ It's time to go to bed ♪

60
00:02:51,153 --> 00:02:54,321
♪ You'll see demon shadows fighting ♪

61
00:02:54,356 --> 00:02:58,125
♪ But it's just inside your head ♪

62
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:02,095
♪ When Pazuzu's eyes are staring ♪

63
00:03:02,131 --> 00:03:05,399
♪ The moonlight will turn red ♪

64
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:10,804
♪ 'Cause Pazuzu's in your nightmares ♪

65
00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:13,774
♪ Until we all ♪

66
00:03:13,809 --> 00:03:16,676
♪ Are dead. ♪

67
00:03:16,712 --> 00:03:18,078
Sweet dreams, Maggie.

68
00:03:18,113 --> 00:03:20,180
Don't let the Beelzebubs bite.

69
00:03:20,215 --> 00:03:21,715
(DOOR CREAKS)

70
00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:23,984
♪ ♪

71
00:03:24,019 --> 00:03:26,686
- (PIANO PLAYING)
- (LIVELY CHATTER)

72
00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:28,622
Nobody's eating my chowder.

73
00:03:28,657 --> 00:03:31,024
Maybe I can take it back home with me.

74
00:03:35,564 --> 00:03:39,666
Maggie, sweetie, you should be in bed.

75
00:03:39,701 --> 00:03:42,302
(DEMONIC VOICE): No one leaves alive.

76
00:03:42,337 --> 00:03:44,604
Ooh, her first words!

77
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,239
Did someone get that on their phone?

78
00:03:46,275 --> 00:03:48,408
LENNY: Aw, she's got red eye.

79
00:03:48,444 --> 00:03:50,377
She's a demon from hell!

80
00:03:50,412 --> 00:03:52,279
Also, generic cola?

81
00:03:52,314 --> 00:03:53,580
Really? (CHUCKLES)

82
00:03:53,615 --> 00:03:55,282
Cocktail fail.

83
00:03:55,317 --> 00:03:56,550
(GROANS)

84
00:03:56,585 --> 00:03:57,717
Thank you.

85
00:03:57,753 --> 00:03:58,885
(ALL SCREAMING)

86
00:04:04,092 --> 00:04:05,292
(CELL DOOR SLAMS)

87
00:04:05,327 --> 00:04:07,727
Well, at least we still got the liquor.

88
00:04:09,431 --> 00:04:10,664
(WHINES, GRUNTS)

89
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,300
(GURGLES)

90
00:04:13,335 --> 00:04:14,901
Ah, my chowder!

91
00:04:14,937 --> 00:04:16,970
Someone's starting the terrible twos.

92
00:04:17,005 --> 00:04:18,438
(CHUCKLES)

93
00:04:18,474 --> 00:04:21,074
(DEMONIC VOICE): Someone's
having an affair with his nurse.

94
00:04:22,311 --> 00:04:25,545
- Say "ah."
- A... dulterer.

95
00:04:25,581 --> 00:04:27,747
179? I...

96
00:04:27,783 --> 00:04:28,748
(GRUNTS)

97
00:04:28,784 --> 00:04:31,084
(CHOKING LAUGH)

98
00:04:31,119 --> 00:04:34,488
I'm afraid that little
devil needs an exorcism.

99
00:04:34,523 --> 00:04:37,757
I'm afraid they didn't teach
me those at Pepperdine.

100
00:04:37,793 --> 00:04:39,092
♪ ♪

101
00:04:39,127 --> 00:04:41,761
Bible ribbons, that'll hold her.

102
00:04:41,797 --> 00:04:43,997
(GRUNTING)

103
00:04:44,032 --> 00:04:45,465
- (GROANS)
- (TOY SIREN WAILING)

104
00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:48,101
Oh, good, the police are here.

105
00:04:48,136 --> 00:04:49,803
(CHOKES)

106
00:04:49,838 --> 00:04:51,338
(OWL HOOTS)

107
00:04:52,407 --> 00:04:55,008
When is that exorcist gonna get here?

108
00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:56,476
Marge, we'll be fine.

109
00:04:56,512 --> 00:04:58,578
Maggie just learned what a circle is.

110
00:05:00,382 --> 00:05:03,083
HOMER: Okay, whoever she stops
at has to change her diaper,

111
00:05:03,118 --> 00:05:05,418
which appears to contain flaming lava.

112
00:05:05,454 --> 00:05:08,054
MARGE: Oh, you just never
want to change a diaper.

113
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,589
(HOMER WHIMPERS)

114
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,024
I'll handle this.

115
00:05:12,861 --> 00:05:15,996
- (GASPS)
- (SHOUTING GIBBERISH)

116
00:05:16,031 --> 00:05:18,431
(MUFFLED GIBBERISH)

117
00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:20,467
(LOSING BREATH)

118
00:05:23,705 --> 00:05:25,305
Oops. Sorry about that.

119
00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:27,040
First thing, we'll see just how powerful

120
00:05:27,075 --> 00:05:29,376
our demon here truly is.

121
00:05:29,411 --> 00:05:31,244
The chicken goes...

122
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,914
(DEMONIC ROARING)

123
00:05:35,183 --> 00:05:36,783
Well, there's only one answer here,

124
00:05:36,818 --> 00:05:39,319
- cut her loose!
- Are you sure?

125
00:05:39,354 --> 00:05:41,521
If you can't trust a Catholic
priest with a child,

126
00:05:41,557 --> 00:05:42,789
who can you trust?

127
00:05:42,824 --> 00:05:43,757
(MARGE GROANS)

128
00:05:46,395 --> 00:05:48,395
♪ ♪

129
00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:55,468
By the power of Christ,
I say devil be out!

130
00:05:55,504 --> 00:05:57,137
That's all you've got?

131
00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:58,805
Well, I say it three times.

132
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,040
This guy's good.

133
00:06:00,075 --> 00:06:01,641
Devil be out!

134
00:06:01,677 --> 00:06:07,013
I am Pazuzu, demon of
the southwest wind.

135
00:06:07,049 --> 00:06:10,383
Wait, wait, so you're not even
as powerful as the south wind

136
00:06:10,419 --> 00:06:11,851
or the west wind?

137
00:06:11,887 --> 00:06:13,420
How lame is that?

138
00:06:13,455 --> 00:06:14,921
I used to be very important.

139
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,189
Google it.

140
00:06:16,224 --> 00:06:18,024
- Devil be out!
- (THUNDER CRASHES)

141
00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:20,527
Google it!

142
00:06:22,898 --> 00:06:24,898
♪ ♪

143
00:06:26,735 --> 00:06:28,602
Your baby is saved.

144
00:06:28,637 --> 00:06:30,437
Fantastic.

145
00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:32,872
She's not going to be a
religious weirdo, is she?

146
00:06:32,908 --> 00:06:34,741
- No.
- Fantastic.

147
00:06:34,776 --> 00:06:36,009
Now hush.

148
00:06:36,044 --> 00:06:38,178
Pazuzu is still among us.

149
00:06:38,213 --> 00:06:39,512
But where?

150
00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:42,849
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

151
00:06:42,884 --> 00:06:44,150
(GASPS) Bart?

152
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,952
(DEMONIC VOICE): Let me out, let me out!

153
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:48,688
This boy has the darkest
soul I've ever seen.

154
00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:51,591
It's worse than working
for David Schwimmer!

155
00:06:51,627 --> 00:06:54,861
Yo, Pazuzu, grow me some horns.

156
00:06:54,896 --> 00:06:56,062
(HOMER CHUCKLES)

157
00:06:56,098 --> 00:06:58,999
Those aren't horns, those
are nubs. (LAUGHS)

158
00:06:59,901 --> 00:07:01,568
No, no, no!

159
00:07:01,603 --> 00:07:04,270
(NASALLY): Well, at least it'll
get me out of jury duty.

160
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,377
♪

161
00:07:10,428 --> 00:07:13,930
♪ Lisa, Lisa wants a better life ♪

162
00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:17,700
♪ Lisa, Lisa, go under the knife ♪

163
00:07:17,736 --> 00:07:21,938
♪ Homer, Homer got a button wife. ♪

164
00:07:22,630 --> 00:07:26,776
So, anyone want to pick up
litter at the park today?

165
00:07:26,811 --> 00:07:28,111
How about you, Maggie?

166
00:07:28,146 --> 00:07:30,280
She's still got a touch of Pazuzu.

167
00:07:30,315 --> 00:07:31,848
At least she never threw up.

168
00:07:31,883 --> 00:07:33,883
(DEMONIC RETCHING)

169
00:07:40,225 --> 00:07:41,691
That's just great.

170
00:07:41,726 --> 00:07:43,826
Everywhere but the sink.

171
00:07:44,629 --> 00:07:47,664
(GROANS) Sometimes I think I
was born in the wrong family.

172
00:07:47,699 --> 00:07:49,599
(CAT MEOWING)

173
00:07:49,634 --> 00:07:51,766
Oh? Hey, Mr. Cat.

174
00:07:51,802 --> 00:07:53,269
What are you playing with?

175
00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:55,038
A secret door?

176
00:07:55,073 --> 00:07:58,041
We don't have smoke
alarms, but we have this?

177
00:07:58,076 --> 00:08:00,677
HOMER (IN DISTANCE):
Smoke is its own alarm.

178
00:08:01,205 --> 00:08:03,305
No, no, Snowball, come back!

179
00:08:03,307 --> 00:08:05,307
It's too dangerous!

180
00:08:08,219 --> 00:08:12,221
Sometimes tiny doors lead
to big opportunities.

181
00:08:12,257 --> 00:08:15,291
- (GASPS) You could talk?
- Indeed.

182
00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:18,061
For centuries, the cat has been
the symbol of intelligence,

183
00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:19,829
the other world savoir faire...

184
00:08:19,864 --> 00:08:21,397
Ooh, shiny!

185
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:23,399
Oh, there it is. Where'd it go?

186
00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:25,168
There it is. Where'd it go?

187
00:08:25,203 --> 00:08:26,903
There it is. Where'd it go?

188
00:08:26,938 --> 00:08:28,237
(CLEARS THROAT) Enough.

189
00:08:28,273 --> 00:08:30,406
Let's go meet your other family.

190
00:08:30,442 --> 00:08:32,742
(GASPS) Other family?

191
00:08:32,777 --> 00:08:36,679
Already the talking cat isn't
the most interesting thing.

192
00:08:36,715 --> 00:08:38,715
- (DOOR CREAKS)
- (LISA GASPS)

193
00:08:42,387 --> 00:08:46,622
Whoa! For a Halloween show
middle segment, this is amazing.

194
00:08:46,658 --> 00:08:48,658
- (HOMER HUMMING A MELODY)
- (BART CHEWING NOISILY)

195
00:08:50,628 --> 00:08:54,397
Every girl's dream, a perfect family.

196
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:57,600
(SCREAMS)

197
00:08:57,635 --> 00:08:59,702
Good morning, sleepyhead.

198
00:08:59,738 --> 00:09:02,171
For breakfast, tofu or kale?

199
00:09:02,207 --> 00:09:04,006
Oh, that's nice.

200
00:09:04,042 --> 00:09:05,875
But what's with the button eyes?

201
00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:08,378
We don't all have button eyes, silly.

202
00:09:08,413 --> 00:09:10,079
Some have button mouths.

203
00:09:10,115 --> 00:09:11,881
(MUFFLED): What's up?!

204
00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:15,218
Lisa, would you like to jam with us?

205
00:09:15,253 --> 00:09:16,719
You like jazz?

206
00:09:22,093 --> 00:09:24,494
(LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

207
00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:32,885
You're all good, but not better than me.

208
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,904
I wish I could stay forever.

209
00:09:34,939 --> 00:09:36,773
Oh, but you can.

210
00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:39,278
All right. Let me guess.

211
00:09:39,318 --> 00:09:42,385
Do you have to sew buttons over my eyes?

212
00:09:42,421 --> 00:09:44,054
Don't worry, sugar plum,

213
00:09:44,089 --> 00:09:45,889
we'll give you a button to bite on

214
00:09:45,924 --> 00:09:47,491
while we sew 'em on.

215
00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:49,826
- (SCREAMS)
- Hold steady.

216
00:09:50,496 --> 00:09:53,163
(PANTING)

217
00:09:53,198 --> 00:09:55,165
Oh, sweetie, you're just in time.

218
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,967
I killed a snake with
your saxophone and...

219
00:09:57,002 --> 00:09:58,301
Can you blow its head out?

220
00:09:58,337 --> 00:10:00,804
Here, let me just wipe the
blood off the mouthpiece.

221
00:10:00,839 --> 00:10:02,606
Buttons, please.

222
00:10:05,744 --> 00:10:08,178
Hmm, something's missing.

223
00:10:08,213 --> 00:10:11,548
Didn't we have a kid
between Bart and the baby?

224
00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:14,518
Little smarty pants, plays
the flute, I think.

225
00:10:14,553 --> 00:10:16,853
Lisa. She's been gone for days.

226
00:10:16,889 --> 00:10:18,822
And the police have been no help.

227
00:10:18,857 --> 00:10:21,791
That's not true. I helped you
reassemble that high chair.

228
00:10:23,128 --> 00:10:24,861
Damn it!

229
00:10:24,897 --> 00:10:26,897
(WIGGUM GRUNTING)

230
00:10:29,134 --> 00:10:31,868
Well, we got two kids
now, so no favoritism.

231
00:10:31,904 --> 00:10:35,026
Maggie will get Lisa's room,
Maggie will get Lisa's clothes,

232
00:10:35,072 --> 00:10:36,572
Bart will get Lisa's homework.

233
00:10:37,476 --> 00:10:39,209
Cowabunga!

234
00:10:39,244 --> 00:10:40,377
(MARGE HUMMING)

235
00:10:40,412 --> 00:10:42,546
(GASPS) Bart! How'd you find me?

236
00:10:42,581 --> 00:10:44,267
I had an informant.

237
00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:46,149
I know, he can talk.

238
00:10:46,184 --> 00:10:48,251
He can? I just followed him in.

239
00:10:48,287 --> 00:10:51,321
Oh, God. Now I'll have to talk to him.

240
00:10:51,356 --> 00:10:54,558
Uh, I don't think he's coming back.

241
00:10:54,593 --> 00:10:56,393
How can you be so calm?

242
00:10:56,428 --> 00:10:58,428
I bore both those children.

243
00:10:58,463 --> 00:11:01,620
Hey, your stories aren't great,
but I wouldn't call them boring.

244
00:11:01,655 --> 00:11:02,687
(GROANS): Oh.

245
00:11:02,722 --> 00:11:04,601
I'm going in there now.

246
00:11:07,306 --> 00:11:09,990
You really did it this time, Homer.

247
00:11:10,026 --> 00:11:11,859
You lost your family.

248
00:11:11,895 --> 00:11:14,162
Wait, you can speak on this side?

249
00:11:14,197 --> 00:11:15,863
Yes, I just don't like to.

250
00:11:15,899 --> 00:11:17,565
Makes the dog feel inferior.

251
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,833
(WHINING BARK)

252
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:19,834
All right.

253
00:11:19,869 --> 00:11:21,536
(GRUNTING)

254
00:11:21,571 --> 00:11:23,171
Oh! So tight.

255
00:11:23,206 --> 00:11:26,007
Why did I eat that
second lunch at lunch?

256
00:11:26,042 --> 00:11:27,875
Someone kick me in the ass!

257
00:11:27,911 --> 00:11:29,477
(GRUNTS) Thank you!

258
00:11:31,881 --> 00:11:34,549
What is it about this
world that's so great?

259
00:11:34,584 --> 00:11:37,385
The Homer in this world
doesn't pass gas.

260
00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:39,954
That was a three-button job.

261
00:11:39,989 --> 00:11:42,190
Would you like to have two eyes?

262
00:11:42,225 --> 00:11:44,859
We can talk to each other
while you watch TV.

263
00:11:44,894 --> 00:11:48,129
Just what Homer needs,
an excuse to get lazier.

264
00:11:48,164 --> 00:11:49,597
Why, you little...

265
00:11:49,632 --> 00:11:53,801
I'll lazy you, you otherworldly...

266
00:11:53,837 --> 00:11:55,937
- What the...
- That was my Bart!

267
00:11:55,972 --> 00:11:59,207
Boy, sure is hard to see
with buttons on your eyes.

268
00:11:59,242 --> 00:12:01,209
D'oh!

269
00:12:01,244 --> 00:12:03,244
(GASPS) You killed my husband!

270
00:12:05,815 --> 00:12:08,716
HOMER: Spider wife, dead son,
two girls with button eyes?

271
00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:11,753
I think this marriage has
finally gotten out of its rut.

272
00:12:12,489 --> 00:12:14,455
(VACUUM WHIRRING)

273
00:12:14,491 --> 00:12:17,425
Yep, I got everything
just the way I want it,

274
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:20,561
including an extra me to go to
parent-teacher conferences.

275
00:12:20,597 --> 00:12:23,765
Oh! Bart drew this
picture of his family.

276
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,967
Now we're getting visits
from a social worker

277
00:12:26,002 --> 00:12:27,502
and an exterminator.

278
00:12:27,537 --> 00:12:29,003
I'll be ready.

279
00:12:29,038 --> 00:12:30,438
- (GUNSHOT)
- (CHAIN SAW BUZZES)

280
00:12:30,473 --> 00:12:33,074
And I've learned, no
matter how bad things are,

281
00:12:33,109 --> 00:12:36,010
they can get much, much worse.

282
00:12:36,045 --> 00:12:38,030
(MUFFLED): Huh, you're telling me.

283
00:12:38,621 --> 00:12:40,836
Haw... haw.

284
00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:44,725
(INSTRUMENTS WARMING UP)

285
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,193
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- (INSTRUMENTS STOP)

286
00:12:46,229 --> 00:12:48,629
No one will be seated
during the third act

287
00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:50,331
of this Halloween show.

288
00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:53,200
What you're about to
see is so disgusting

289
00:12:53,236 --> 00:12:56,070
you'll watch Game of
Thrones to calm down.

290
00:12:56,105 --> 00:12:58,005
You have been warned.

291
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,040
♪ ♪

292
00:13:10,786 --> 00:13:13,821
Man, am I jealous of you guys.

293
00:13:13,856 --> 00:13:16,857
Two weeks in Lima, Ohio,
with Patty and Selma

294
00:13:16,893 --> 00:13:18,926
while I'm stuck here working.

295
00:13:18,961 --> 00:13:21,829
It's gonna be lonely. So lonely.

296
00:13:21,864 --> 00:13:23,931
Well, if you really want us to stay...

297
00:13:23,966 --> 00:13:26,066
We've already kissed good-bye
and the car heard it!

298
00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:30,070
(TIRES SCREECHING)

299
00:13:30,106 --> 00:13:32,706
They're gone. Not a second to waste.

300
00:13:32,742 --> 00:13:34,742
(LAUGHING)

301
00:13:37,813 --> 00:13:39,880
(TO "ON THE ROAD AGAIN"):
♪ Left alone again ♪

302
00:13:39,916 --> 00:13:42,883
♪ Yes, I'm eating provolone again ♪

303
00:13:42,919 --> 00:13:46,854
♪ Food just tastes better in
the bathroom now and then ♪

304
00:13:46,889 --> 00:13:50,259
♪ I just love being left alone again ♪

305
00:13:51,393 --> 00:13:53,727
♪ Left alone for days ♪

306
00:13:53,763 --> 00:13:57,364
♪ I ate two dozen bags of Frito-Lays ♪

307
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,768
♪ I'm gonna brush my
teeth with mayonnaise ♪

308
00:14:00,803 --> 00:14:04,338
♪ Now my sweat tastes just
like doughnut glaze. ♪

309
00:14:05,641 --> 00:14:07,007
(SHRIEKS)

310
00:14:08,077 --> 00:14:10,844
(SHRIEKING)

311
00:14:12,949 --> 00:14:15,115
Not a single morsel in the house!

312
00:14:15,151 --> 00:14:17,117
(GASPS)

313
00:14:17,153 --> 00:14:18,419
A forgotten hot dog.

314
00:14:19,622 --> 00:14:21,255
Oh, you're shivering.

315
00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:22,990
I'll take care of that.

316
00:14:24,961 --> 00:14:27,328
(TO "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"):
♪ Happy birthday to meat ♪

317
00:14:27,363 --> 00:14:29,430
♪ I can't wait to eat. ♪

318
00:14:29,465 --> 00:14:32,333
- Now to slit it down the middle.
- (DOG BARKS)

319
00:14:32,368 --> 00:14:34,134
I'm not splitting it with you.

320
00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:36,203
I'm just teaching you how it's done.

321
00:14:36,239 --> 00:14:37,104
(BARKS)

322
00:14:37,139 --> 00:14:38,973
(GROANS)

323
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,641
Still frozen.

324
00:14:42,178 --> 00:14:44,678
(SCREAMS) My finger!

325
00:14:44,714 --> 00:14:46,213
My hot dog!

326
00:14:49,118 --> 00:14:50,985
(SIZZLING)

327
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,653
My finger! My poor...

328
00:14:52,688 --> 00:14:53,988
(MOANING)

329
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,789
delicious finger.

330
00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:57,658
(SNIFFS) Wait a minute.

331
00:14:57,693 --> 00:14:59,860
I can't eat my own finger. It's unholy.

332
00:14:59,895 --> 00:15:01,395
Also, it's not quite done.

333
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:04,531
But sometimes a man has
to do the unthinkable,

334
00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:07,935
like eat something medium-rare.

335
00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:08,936
Oh!

336
00:15:08,971 --> 00:15:10,537
(FIREWORKS WHISTLING, POPPING)

337
00:15:10,573 --> 00:15:12,673
- (TO "HALLELUJAH CHORUS")
- ♪ Hey, you ate you ♪

338
00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:14,475
♪ You tasted great, you ♪

339
00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:16,677
♪ Hey, you ate you, hey, you ate you ♪

340
00:15:16,712 --> 00:15:19,113
♪ You cooked and ate you. ♪

341
00:15:19,148 --> 00:15:21,211
- (PHONE CHIMES)
- Hmm?

342
00:15:21,236 --> 00:15:22,469
Hmm.

343
00:15:22,503 --> 00:15:24,503
(HUMS SOFTLY)

344
00:15:26,722 --> 00:15:28,889
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.

345
00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:30,924
It makes complete sense.

346
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,728
I eat more and exercise less
than the most succulent pig.

347
00:15:34,764 --> 00:15:36,297
Of course I'm delicious!

348
00:15:36,332 --> 00:15:40,034
But I must never eat me again. Never!

349
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:43,404
On the other hand is my other finger.

350
00:15:43,439 --> 00:15:45,973
And one thing I love is consistency.

351
00:15:46,008 --> 00:15:48,008
(HUMMING "HALLELUJAH CHORUS")

352
00:15:49,942 --> 00:15:51,375
Hey, there, Homer Aloner.

353
00:15:51,377 --> 00:15:54,512
In the absence of the missus,
you want something delicious?

354
00:15:54,547 --> 00:15:56,881
(SIGHS)

355
00:15:56,916 --> 00:15:59,584
Don't worry, I'll be back.

356
00:16:04,424 --> 00:16:06,157
(WHEELS SQUEAKING)

357
00:16:06,192 --> 00:16:08,392
Oh. Ooh, yuck.

358
00:16:08,428 --> 00:16:10,094
Oh, disgusting.

359
00:16:10,129 --> 00:16:12,730
Homer Simpson, you don't
like steak anymore?

360
00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:16,033
Actually, I've become a bit of a me-gan.

361
00:16:16,069 --> 00:16:18,836
Do you have any spaghetti
with my-balls? Uh, meatballs?

362
00:16:18,872 --> 00:16:20,771
"Me-gan? My-balls?"

363
00:16:20,807 --> 00:16:23,274
Are you eating forbidden fruit?

364
00:16:23,309 --> 00:16:25,376
Fruit? Ugh.

365
00:16:28,581 --> 00:16:30,248
Sorry, Flanders,

366
00:16:30,283 --> 00:16:33,751
but I've got more delicious
meat in my little finger

367
00:16:33,786 --> 00:16:36,087
than you have on this
whole picnic table.

368
00:16:36,122 --> 00:16:37,421
Speaking of which...

369
00:16:37,457 --> 00:16:40,858
("BUSTIN' LOOSE" BY REBIRTH
BRASS BAND PLAYING)

370
00:16:42,729 --> 00:16:43,794
♪ Whoo ♪

371
00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:45,463
♪ ♪

372
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,213
♪ Whoo. ♪

373
00:17:02,248 --> 00:17:03,814
♪ ♪

374
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:10,221
I have really gone to a lot of trouble

375
00:17:10,256 --> 00:17:11,989
not to leave the house.

376
00:17:12,025 --> 00:17:13,758
MARGE (IN DISTANCE): Homie, we're home!

377
00:17:13,793 --> 00:17:14,759
(SHRIEKS)

378
00:17:14,794 --> 00:17:17,228
What's with the gloves?

379
00:17:17,263 --> 00:17:20,498
Uh, I was watching
Breakfast at Tiffany's,

380
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:22,767
and I thought I could be more elegant.

381
00:17:22,802 --> 00:17:25,102
Elegant? With your waistline?

382
00:17:25,138 --> 00:17:26,971
I don't think so.

383
00:17:27,006 --> 00:17:30,908
Actually, Homer, you look
like you've lost 20 pounds.

384
00:17:30,944 --> 00:17:32,944
Well, I have been cutting back.

385
00:17:32,979 --> 00:17:34,946
That means something
different to me than you.

386
00:17:34,981 --> 00:17:36,280
What's wrong with your leg?

387
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,583
Nothing. It was perfect.

388
00:17:38,618 --> 00:17:40,117
(MARGE GRUMBLES)

389
00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:43,287
(WHIRRING IN DISTANCE)

390
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:46,490
(GROANING)

391
00:17:46,526 --> 00:17:50,361
Homie, you shouldn't be snacking
in the middle of the night.

392
00:17:50,396 --> 00:17:51,495
It can't be good for your...

393
00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:53,397
(MARGE SCREAMS)

394
00:17:56,903 --> 00:17:59,370
This is, without question,

395
00:17:59,405 --> 00:18:02,640
the worst moment of our entire marriage.

396
00:18:02,675 --> 00:18:04,041
- What about...
- This is worse.

397
00:18:04,077 --> 00:18:05,643
Opa!

398
00:18:05,678 --> 00:18:08,212
HOMER: Marge, I admit it,
this is a rough patch.

399
00:18:08,247 --> 00:18:09,780
But I know when to stop.

400
00:18:09,816 --> 00:18:12,316
And when would that be?
When you're just a mouth?

401
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,685
You see how she is,
Doc? Always negative.

402
00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:16,153
She makes me feel like nothing.

403
00:18:16,189 --> 00:18:18,489
You are almost nothing!

404
00:18:18,524 --> 00:18:20,057
Almost nothing.

405
00:18:20,093 --> 00:18:22,827
Homer, have you considered
your wife's feelings?

406
00:18:22,862 --> 00:18:24,996
Perhaps she takes this new diet of yours

407
00:18:25,031 --> 00:18:26,697
as a comment on her cooking.

408
00:18:26,733 --> 00:18:27,999
Marge?

409
00:18:28,034 --> 00:18:30,234
I won't deny that's a part of it.

410
00:18:30,269 --> 00:18:31,569
See? Progress.

411
00:18:31,604 --> 00:18:32,737
Now, excuse me.

412
00:18:32,772 --> 00:18:35,806
I need to go get famous
talking about you.

413
00:18:35,842 --> 00:18:38,376
Homie, I'm afraid this is it.

414
00:18:38,411 --> 00:18:42,179
Your self-destructive
behavior has gone too far.

415
00:18:42,215 --> 00:18:43,981
(MUFFLED): But, Marge...

416
00:18:44,017 --> 00:18:46,250
Good-bye, my love.

417
00:18:46,285 --> 00:18:48,552
(SOBBING)

418
00:18:48,588 --> 00:18:51,222
Maybe, deep down, that's
why I ate myself...

419
00:18:51,257 --> 00:18:53,524
Because I hate myself.

420
00:18:53,559 --> 00:18:56,394
MAN: Sounds like someone
had a breakthrough.

421
00:18:56,429 --> 00:18:58,863
Hi. I'm famous
cooker-upper Mario Batali.

422
00:18:58,898 --> 00:19:01,399
- You mean "chef"?
- I don't care for that term.

423
00:19:01,434 --> 00:19:04,402
Well, I know I don't belong
in therapy, but why are you?

424
00:19:04,437 --> 00:19:06,504
I got depressed because I ran out

425
00:19:06,539 --> 00:19:08,172
of exciting new ingredients.

426
00:19:08,207 --> 00:19:10,841
Homer, we need to talk.

427
00:19:10,877 --> 00:19:12,710
Could we wok and talk?

428
00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:14,145
Well, sure.

429
00:19:15,214 --> 00:19:16,981
(SIGHS)

430
00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:26,257
HOMER: My dearest family,
I love you so much.

431
00:19:26,292 --> 00:19:29,427
And I think I've found a way
to earn your forgiveness.

432
00:19:29,462 --> 00:19:31,062
Please come home.

433
00:19:31,097 --> 00:19:33,064
Come home to flavor.

434
00:19:41,307 --> 00:19:43,908
He wanted me to pass
on these final words.

435
00:19:43,943 --> 00:19:45,376
"I've failed as a man,

436
00:19:45,411 --> 00:19:47,445
but I have succeeded as an ingredient."

437
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:48,579
I call the brain!

438
00:19:50,616 --> 00:19:51,949
(SIGHS): Ah.

439
00:19:51,984 --> 00:19:53,918
He's gone.

440
00:19:53,953 --> 00:19:58,422
Well, I guess I can be proud
that he succeeded at something.

441
00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,458
Oh, it's a lot more than something.

442
00:20:00,493 --> 00:20:03,094
Homer's the biggest thing
in food since free refills.

443
00:20:03,129 --> 00:20:04,495
(SLURPING)

444
00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:06,464
(TO "HALLELUJAH CHORUS"):
♪ Hey, you ate you ♪

445
00:20:06,499 --> 00:20:08,632
♪ You tasted great, you ♪

446
00:20:08,668 --> 00:20:10,668
♪ Hey, you ate you, hey, you ate you ♪

447
00:20:10,703 --> 00:20:12,670
♪ You cooked and ate you. ♪

448
00:20:12,705 --> 00:20:14,839
How did they get so
much meat out of Homer?

449
00:20:14,874 --> 00:20:18,075
Well, they mixed in some Barney,
Comic Book Guy and horse.

450
00:20:18,111 --> 00:20:19,510
Horse?!

451
00:20:21,207 --> 00:20:23,536
Do you know what it's
like to have everyone

452
00:20:23,564 --> 00:20:24,897
eat of your body?

453
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,857
Yeah, like, every Sunday, pal.

454
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:27,933
(MUNCHING)

455
00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:30,601
Uh, you know,
you don't get more of those.