1 00:00:01,476 --> 00:00:03,642 Can't let you do it. 2 00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,452 Can't let you break my record. 3 00:00:08,487 --> 00:00:09,653 [GROANS] 4 00:00:14,209 --> 00:00:17,110 LENNY, CARL AND BARNEY: 27... 28... 5 00:00:17,156 --> 00:00:19,473 Okay, Homer, this is the last pickled egg. 6 00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:21,483 Keep it down and you win 50 bucks. 7 00:00:21,518 --> 00:00:24,719 [GRUNTING]: Okay. If I win, we're going out for omelets. 8 00:00:24,755 --> 00:00:26,354 [MOANS] 9 00:00:27,691 --> 00:00:31,793 Yeah! I am the champion of this very bad idea. 10 00:00:31,828 --> 00:00:33,461 - [RUMBLING] - Uh-oh. 11 00:00:33,497 --> 00:00:34,896 He's gonna blow. 12 00:00:38,402 --> 00:00:41,236 Hey, Moe, you're not gonna serve those eggs, are you? 13 00:00:41,271 --> 00:00:44,906 No, no. I, uh, I find another use for them. 14 00:00:52,482 --> 00:00:53,848 Hmm. 15 00:00:53,884 --> 00:00:57,285 I was 50 bucks up until I blew every egg out of my belly. 16 00:00:58,789 --> 00:00:59,955 - Oh! - [HORN HONKS] 17 00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:02,090 MAN: Whoa! Hey, there, pal. 18 00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:05,994 [CHUCKLES] I'm afraid that was the mayor's favorite light pole. 19 00:01:06,029 --> 00:01:07,996 - [SHRIEKS] - You give me the car, 20 00:01:08,031 --> 00:01:11,900 I give you 500 bucks and I make all of this go away. 21 00:01:11,935 --> 00:01:15,203 Uh, this is awkward. 22 00:01:15,238 --> 00:01:17,105 You don't have to thank me. 23 00:01:17,140 --> 00:01:18,473 Ugh! 24 00:01:19,509 --> 00:01:21,076 Marge. 25 00:01:21,111 --> 00:01:22,911 When you start a sentence with "Marge," 26 00:01:22,946 --> 00:01:24,212 it's really bad. 27 00:01:24,247 --> 00:01:26,881 Marge, Marge, Marge. 28 00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:29,851 - I sold our car. - [GASPS] 29 00:01:29,886 --> 00:01:32,387 - What are you gonna drive? - Your car. 30 00:01:32,422 --> 00:01:35,190 Oh. Well, then I guess I'll be riding the bus. 31 00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:38,893 That's right. Like rock stars and Rosa Parks. 32 00:01:38,929 --> 00:01:42,130 Now just wait till you see what's become of our car. 33 00:01:42,165 --> 00:01:45,066 Feast your eyes on this. 34 00:01:45,102 --> 00:01:47,736 ♪ Four-legged angel ♪ 35 00:01:47,771 --> 00:01:50,038 ♪ Who will speak for you? ♪ 36 00:01:50,073 --> 00:01:52,674 - ♪ Raised in the rain ♪ - [GRUNTING SOFTLY] 37 00:01:52,709 --> 00:01:55,977 ♪ With no bone to chew ♪ 38 00:01:56,013 --> 00:01:59,114 ♪ Well, maybe ♪ 39 00:01:59,149 --> 00:02:01,316 ♪ Someone will love you. ♪ 40 00:02:01,351 --> 00:02:02,884 Why are you showing me this? 41 00:02:02,919 --> 00:02:04,052 I don't get it. 42 00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:06,454 And I'm crying. [CRIES] 43 00:02:06,490 --> 00:02:08,256 Lousy wrong channel. 44 00:02:09,693 --> 00:02:12,260 ANNOUNCER: The Legends of Demolition Derby-Derby-Derby 45 00:02:12,295 --> 00:02:15,096 are coming to Springfield- Springfield-Springfield! 46 00:02:15,132 --> 00:02:16,664 So shut up! 47 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,099 And get your ass-ass-ass 48 00:02:18,135 --> 00:02:21,002 over-over-over here-here-here! 49 00:02:21,038 --> 00:02:22,337 Proceeds go 50 00:02:22,372 --> 00:02:23,972 to stuttering-stuttering-stuttering. 51 00:02:24,007 --> 00:02:26,541 Wait for it. Wait for it. 52 00:02:30,313 --> 00:02:33,248 ANNOUNCER: We've got all the Demolition Derby greats! 53 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:35,150 Vince "Dead Tooth" McGee! 54 00:02:35,185 --> 00:02:37,185 James "Psychiatric Disorder" Porter. 55 00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:38,420 "Meth" MacFarland. 56 00:02:38,455 --> 00:02:40,455 Mysterious Fandango 57 00:02:40,490 --> 00:02:43,091 and a very drunk Billy Joel. 58 00:02:43,126 --> 00:02:45,994 I'm sorry, but most of these names mean nothing to me. 59 00:02:46,029 --> 00:02:47,662 Here it comes! 60 00:02:47,697 --> 00:02:49,931 ANNOUNCER: And making his triumphant return 61 00:02:49,966 --> 00:02:53,301 to the Crash Zone after a full skull transplant, 62 00:02:53,336 --> 00:02:55,670 Gene "No Helmet" Dupree! 63 00:02:55,705 --> 00:02:59,307 Eh? My car in a demolition derby! 64 00:02:59,342 --> 00:03:01,843 And we got primo tickets for Saturday night. 65 00:03:01,878 --> 00:03:03,645 Look at them fan. 66 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:04,946 Wait, wait, wait. 67 00:03:04,981 --> 00:03:07,182 This is the point where Lisa always ruins it. 68 00:03:07,217 --> 00:03:08,316 No, I'm good with it. 69 00:03:08,351 --> 00:03:09,484 People get out their aggression 70 00:03:09,519 --> 00:03:11,786 and destroy carbon-burning cars. 71 00:03:11,822 --> 00:03:13,121 See? Ruined it. 72 00:03:13,156 --> 00:03:14,656 GRAMPA: And then I noticed 73 00:03:14,691 --> 00:03:18,126 there wasn't any more cinnamon on top of my rice pudding. 74 00:03:18,161 --> 00:03:20,328 And I said, "Where's the cinnamon?" 75 00:03:20,363 --> 00:03:23,398 And they said, "There never was any cinnamon, Abe." 76 00:03:23,433 --> 00:03:25,200 Fine, Dad, we'll get you some cinnamon! 77 00:03:25,235 --> 00:03:27,001 I can't tolerate cinnamon! 78 00:03:27,037 --> 00:03:29,671 So, I started asking everyone in the TV room 79 00:03:29,706 --> 00:03:31,072 if they remembered the cinnamon 80 00:03:31,108 --> 00:03:33,141 and the answer will surprise you. 81 00:03:33,176 --> 00:03:34,876 The results were incon... 82 00:03:34,911 --> 00:03:36,911 - [INAUDIBLE] - When did you get that put in? 83 00:03:36,947 --> 00:03:38,913 Worth every penny. 84 00:03:38,949 --> 00:03:41,683 But how many pennies is that? 85 00:03:41,718 --> 00:03:43,718 Homer Simpson, you can't just... 86 00:03:43,753 --> 00:03:46,187 ["THEME FROM A SUMMER PLACE" BY PERCY FAITH PLAYING] 87 00:03:55,232 --> 00:03:56,498 Hmm. 88 00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:58,166 All right, young'uns. 89 00:03:58,201 --> 00:04:00,835 You know that movie Cars that you likes? 90 00:04:00,871 --> 00:04:02,170 ALL: Uh-huh. 91 00:04:02,205 --> 00:04:04,172 Well, all your favorite characters 92 00:04:04,207 --> 00:04:06,875 is gonna commit suicide here today. 93 00:04:06,910 --> 00:04:08,109 - Huh? - What? 94 00:04:11,781 --> 00:04:13,548 ANNOUNCER [BRITISH ACCENT]: Ladies and gentlemen, 95 00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:16,551 please silence all cell phones 96 00:04:16,586 --> 00:04:19,954 and holster all truck nuts. 97 00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:23,758 And now, in conformance with the latest paleontological theories 98 00:04:23,793 --> 00:04:28,863 about dinosaurs, please welcome the all-new Truckasaurus Two. 99 00:04:28,899 --> 00:04:31,199 [AUDIENCE BOOING] 100 00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:33,635 [ROBOTIC]: I love you, Steven Spielberg. 101 00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:35,537 ANNOUNCER: Now, a brief moment in memory 102 00:04:35,572 --> 00:04:39,207 of those we lost in the past week. 103 00:04:39,242 --> 00:04:41,643 [AUDIENCE CLAPPING] 104 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,881 [AUDIENCE BOOING] 105 00:04:46,917 --> 00:04:49,284 [AUDIENCE CLAPPING] 106 00:04:51,788 --> 00:04:53,154 And now... 107 00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:55,256 [SOUTHERN ACCENT]: Let the bash-'em-ups begin! 108 00:04:57,928 --> 00:05:00,161 If I get hit by a brain, can I keep it? 109 00:05:00,197 --> 00:05:02,230 Be sure to get it signed afterwards. 110 00:05:02,265 --> 00:05:03,431 [GASPS] There's our car! 111 00:05:04,768 --> 00:05:08,636 Wow. Without Dad's weight in it, it really moves. 112 00:05:08,672 --> 00:05:11,139 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 113 00:05:15,412 --> 00:05:17,078 Oh, my God, this is it. 114 00:05:17,113 --> 00:05:19,681 Only one car stands in our way. 115 00:05:19,716 --> 00:05:21,583 ANNOUNCER: It's down to Homer's Boner 116 00:05:21,618 --> 00:05:26,287 and Car-rak Obama, the Affordable Healthcare Mobile, 117 00:05:26,323 --> 00:05:29,123 which you can't kill no matter how hard you try. 118 00:05:29,159 --> 00:05:31,693 [AUDIENCE BOOING, WHISTLING] 119 00:05:33,163 --> 00:05:34,495 [ENGINE REVS] 120 00:05:34,531 --> 00:05:37,699 My whole life has been leading to this one moment. 121 00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:39,968 [ENGINES REVVING] 122 00:05:40,003 --> 00:05:42,170 Oh! My chest hurts! 123 00:05:42,205 --> 00:05:43,338 That's called pride. 124 00:05:43,373 --> 00:05:44,439 [ENGINE REVS] 125 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:45,740 My arm is numb! 126 00:05:45,775 --> 00:05:46,874 Numb with pride. 127 00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:47,976 [ENGINE REVS] 128 00:05:48,011 --> 00:05:50,612 Son, I need to go to the hospital. 129 00:05:50,647 --> 00:05:52,680 Huh? 130 00:05:52,716 --> 00:05:54,582 Sure, Dad. 131 00:06:00,257 --> 00:06:02,824 ["ADAGIO FOR STRINGS" BY SAMUEL BARBER PLAYING] 132 00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:07,161 [CRASHING] 133 00:06:11,701 --> 00:06:13,868 - I missed it. - [EXPLOSION] 134 00:06:13,903 --> 00:06:15,970 Can you see the pain you're causing him? 135 00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:18,306 Go on, git! 136 00:06:18,341 --> 00:06:21,643 I'm sorry to say it, uh, doesn't look good. 137 00:06:21,678 --> 00:06:26,314 Homer, your father would like to see you, uh, one last time. 138 00:06:26,349 --> 00:06:29,250 I hope you've got a return receipt on that balloon. 139 00:06:29,286 --> 00:06:32,487 - I always do. - [CHUCKLES SADLY] 140 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:36,324 [WEAKLY]: Homer, there's something I need to tell you. 141 00:06:36,359 --> 00:06:40,328 I'll give you two a moment in this, uh, semiprivate room. 142 00:06:40,363 --> 00:06:42,497 Where is the nurse with my... 143 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:46,901 Son, I did a terrible thing many years ago 144 00:06:46,936 --> 00:06:50,672 and I need you to forgive me before... [COUGHS] 145 00:06:50,707 --> 00:06:53,174 Before it's too late. 146 00:06:53,209 --> 00:06:56,277 [CRYING]: Anything, Dad. 147 00:06:56,313 --> 00:06:57,879 [WHISPERS INAUDIBLY] 148 00:06:57,914 --> 00:06:59,213 Uh-huh. 149 00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:00,682 [WHISPERS INAUDIBLY] 150 00:07:00,717 --> 00:07:02,050 Uh-huh. 151 00:07:02,085 --> 00:07:03,718 [WHISPERS INAUDIBLY] 152 00:07:03,753 --> 00:07:05,620 You already said that part. 153 00:07:05,655 --> 00:07:08,189 Remember, you can't tell anyone. 154 00:07:08,224 --> 00:07:09,390 It's awful! 155 00:07:09,426 --> 00:07:11,559 I swear. Now get to the point. 156 00:07:11,594 --> 00:07:14,962 [WHISPERS INAUDIBLY] 157 00:07:14,998 --> 00:07:16,397 You didn't! 158 00:07:17,934 --> 00:07:19,400 Okay. [SIGHS] 159 00:07:19,436 --> 00:07:20,968 I forgive you. 160 00:07:21,004 --> 00:07:24,505 Your conscience is the one clean thing in this room. 161 00:07:24,541 --> 00:07:25,707 [MOANS WEAKLY] 162 00:07:27,644 --> 00:07:30,645 Well, we tried everything we could... 163 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,113 and the last thing worked. 164 00:07:32,148 --> 00:07:34,449 [GASPS] How did you save him? 165 00:07:34,484 --> 00:07:36,250 When a body is in too much pain, 166 00:07:36,286 --> 00:07:39,420 the brain releases a hormone to bring a merciful death. 167 00:07:39,456 --> 00:07:42,623 But an expensive new drug blocks that and keeps him alive. 168 00:07:42,659 --> 00:07:44,492 What a glorious day! 169 00:07:44,527 --> 00:07:46,294 I'm gonna live 170 00:07:46,329 --> 00:07:50,398 and my son has forgiven me for the worst thing I ever did. 171 00:07:50,433 --> 00:07:52,967 Yes. Forgiven. 172 00:07:53,002 --> 00:07:54,736 [GRUNTS] 173 00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:58,973 [GASPS] Sir, you just destroyed a box of hospital cotton balls. 174 00:07:59,008 --> 00:08:00,808 - That's $75,000. - D'oh! 175 00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:05,347 [LAUGHS] Now I want to watch my favorite new show, 176 00:08:05,382 --> 00:08:07,816 currently in its 17th season. 177 00:08:07,851 --> 00:08:10,152 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 178 00:08:27,838 --> 00:08:31,840 It looks like another murder at Jackson Island Naval Base. 179 00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:33,742 That's what makes America great. 180 00:08:33,777 --> 00:08:36,511 Prompt investigation of in-house naval crimes. 181 00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:38,547 Homie, look who's here. 182 00:08:38,582 --> 00:08:39,915 Yeah, I see. 183 00:08:39,950 --> 00:08:42,017 Oh, Homer, are you a Sunday puzzle? 184 00:08:42,052 --> 00:08:44,686 'Cause you sure seem down and a'cross. 185 00:08:44,722 --> 00:08:47,522 My dad did something to me I can never forgive. 186 00:08:47,558 --> 00:08:49,491 No worse than what God did to his son 187 00:08:49,526 --> 00:08:50,926 and they wrote a book together. 188 00:08:50,961 --> 00:08:52,461 Bye. 189 00:08:52,496 --> 00:08:55,831 He tricked me with his code blue and his flatlining. 190 00:08:55,866 --> 00:08:57,699 And I fell for it like a sap. 191 00:08:57,735 --> 00:08:58,934 What did he do? 192 00:08:58,969 --> 00:09:01,336 I promised him not to say what he told me, 193 00:09:01,372 --> 00:09:04,539 but I will never look at him the same way again. 194 00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:07,743 Yeah, but you forgave me, so that means you have to love me. 195 00:09:07,778 --> 00:09:09,411 Nyeah, nyeah, nyeah, nyeah, nyeah. 196 00:09:09,446 --> 00:09:11,046 Marjorie, I'm sorry, 197 00:09:11,081 --> 00:09:13,949 but I do not want to be in the same room with this man. 198 00:09:13,984 --> 00:09:15,217 I'm going to Moe's. 199 00:09:15,252 --> 00:09:16,718 Then I'm going to Moe's! 200 00:09:16,754 --> 00:09:19,254 Then I'm staying here. [GRUMBLES] 201 00:09:21,225 --> 00:09:22,891 A gun and a sailor hat. 202 00:09:22,926 --> 00:09:25,127 Nothing screams naval crime more than that. 203 00:09:25,162 --> 00:09:28,230 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 204 00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:29,765 I'm going to Moe's. 205 00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:32,734 I hate seeing a father and a son 206 00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:34,536 sit at opposite ends of the bar 207 00:09:34,571 --> 00:09:36,405 'cause it means I got to walk more. 208 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,107 Now come on, youse guys. Bury the ol' hatchet. 209 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,742 [BOTH GROAN] 210 00:09:40,778 --> 00:09:42,210 Hey, life is short. 211 00:09:42,246 --> 00:09:44,112 You could be killed by a drunk driver, 212 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,948 die of cirrhosis, stabbed in a bar fight. 213 00:09:46,984 --> 00:09:49,918 All kinds of random bad things happen to my customers. 214 00:09:49,953 --> 00:09:51,653 All right, look, here's 50 cents, huh? 215 00:09:51,688 --> 00:09:53,889 Play the jukebox and the love tester. 216 00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:55,323 [HOMER AND GRAMPA GROAN] 217 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,893 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 218 00:09:57,928 --> 00:09:59,394 ♪ And don't you come back ♪ 219 00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:01,897 ♪ No more, no more, no more, no more ♪ 220 00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:03,832 ♪ Hit the road, Jack. ♪ 221 00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:06,067 You heard Ray Charles. 222 00:10:06,103 --> 00:10:09,070 Actually, in my jukebox, we can't afford no Ray Charles. 223 00:10:09,106 --> 00:10:11,173 It's a white guy named, uh, Charles Ray. 224 00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,508 Excellent vision, excellent vision. 225 00:10:13,544 --> 00:10:16,945 Dad, Grampa, the place we're going is the perfect way 226 00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:18,747 to make you guys friends again. 227 00:10:18,782 --> 00:10:20,816 I went there for Janey's last birthday party. 228 00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:22,617 You think you can solve our problems 229 00:10:22,653 --> 00:10:24,586 at a kids' birthday party place? 230 00:10:24,621 --> 00:10:27,522 It's cheaper than therapy and it comes with cake. 231 00:10:27,558 --> 00:10:31,426 If cake solved problems, Homer would have a Nobel Peace Prize. 232 00:10:31,462 --> 00:10:33,261 That's a bullcrap prize. 233 00:10:33,297 --> 00:10:34,796 They gave it to Kissinger. 234 00:10:37,234 --> 00:10:39,367 Welcome to the Escape Zone. 235 00:10:39,403 --> 00:10:43,038 The latest attempt to get people to save a dying mall. 236 00:10:43,073 --> 00:10:45,607 Now, would you like to be buried alive? 237 00:10:45,642 --> 00:10:46,808 Done it for real. 238 00:10:46,844 --> 00:10:48,877 How about Medieval Dungeon? 239 00:10:48,912 --> 00:10:51,947 Got to be less torture than listening to him. Hey. 240 00:10:51,982 --> 00:10:53,148 Thank you. 241 00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:55,817 Okay, you two are trapped in a dungeon. 242 00:10:55,853 --> 00:10:59,254 The only way out is to solve ten puzzles by working together. 243 00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:00,355 Yeah, whatever. 244 00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:02,357 - Super! - [DOOR LOCKS] 245 00:11:02,392 --> 00:11:04,125 They're just sitting there. 246 00:11:04,161 --> 00:11:06,394 I bet they'd hurry if they knew we had balloons. 247 00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:07,896 They're moving. 248 00:11:07,931 --> 00:11:12,133 Son, if you take this sword and stick it in that magic portal, 249 00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:15,370 I think it might open a bookcase somewhere. 250 00:11:15,405 --> 00:11:18,540 [GASPS] Yes, that makes perfect sense. I'll just... 251 00:11:18,575 --> 00:11:20,742 [SCREAMING] 252 00:11:20,777 --> 00:11:22,377 [LAUGHING] 253 00:11:23,847 --> 00:11:27,182 Homer? You're not getting out to say good-bye to your dad? 254 00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:29,251 He's probably afraid we'll see how much 255 00:11:29,286 --> 00:11:31,253 the car lifts when he gets out. 256 00:11:31,288 --> 00:11:34,222 No, I'm not. 257 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,658 There's only one way to make you guys understand. 258 00:11:36,693 --> 00:11:39,261 I'll tell you what Grampa told me. 259 00:11:39,296 --> 00:11:41,596 [STAMMERING] That was in confidence. 260 00:11:41,632 --> 00:11:45,200 And in this family, we keep our promises. Starting now. 261 00:11:45,235 --> 00:11:47,235 I am telling. 262 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:50,505 Oh, God. Oh, God. I hate conflict. 263 00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:52,340 [PANICKED BREATHING] 264 00:11:52,376 --> 00:11:55,410 - Then just leave your body. - Okay. 265 00:11:55,445 --> 00:11:56,645 Hey! 266 00:11:59,716 --> 00:12:02,050 When I was growing up, my dad loved to make 267 00:12:02,085 --> 00:12:04,119 model World War II airplanes. 268 00:12:04,154 --> 00:12:05,554 [IMITATING AIRPLANE] 269 00:12:05,589 --> 00:12:07,222 Watch it, son. You're gonna break the wing. 270 00:12:07,257 --> 00:12:09,691 Oh, now you got glue up your nose. 271 00:12:09,726 --> 00:12:12,627 Oh! Don't eat the decal. How many have you had? 272 00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:15,964 Just leave me be. 273 00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:20,569 Oh! 274 00:12:20,604 --> 00:12:23,371 I work hard all week at the model plane factory, 275 00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:25,407 and this hobby is my one escape. 276 00:12:25,442 --> 00:12:28,109 Can you please watch this little monster? 277 00:12:28,145 --> 00:12:29,744 HOMER: When he gave me to her, 278 00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,746 it was the best thing he could've done. 279 00:12:31,782 --> 00:12:33,748 - This is the dough. - Dough. 280 00:12:33,784 --> 00:12:38,453 Yes, dough. Now, I need someone very strong to roll this out. 281 00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:40,522 YOUNG HOMER: ♪ Recipes ♪ 282 00:12:41,758 --> 00:12:47,029 ♪ For the oven in my mind ♪ 283 00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:50,865 ♪ 3x5 cards with the recipes ♪ 284 00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:56,137 ♪ Of my mother's pies ♪ 285 00:12:56,173 --> 00:12:58,506 ♪ Apple cobbler ♪ 286 00:13:00,177 --> 00:13:03,011 ♪ Peach pie, key lime, and meringue ♪ 287 00:13:05,949 --> 00:13:10,452 ♪ Pies made for me by my mother ♪ 288 00:13:10,487 --> 00:13:14,656 ♪ While my father would harangue ♪ 289 00:13:14,691 --> 00:13:17,292 ♪ Can it be that ♪ 290 00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:20,862 ♪ It was all so tasty then? ♪ 291 00:13:20,897 --> 00:13:22,831 ♪ Was her rhubarb ♪ 292 00:13:22,866 --> 00:13:26,134 ♪ So sublime? ♪ 293 00:13:26,169 --> 00:13:28,036 ♪ If we had the chance ♪ 294 00:13:28,071 --> 00:13:31,172 ♪ To bake it all again ♪ 295 00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:32,874 ♪ Tell me, would we? ♪ 296 00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:36,845 ♪ Could we? ♪ 297 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,382 Love you. 298 00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:41,850 HOMER: She loved me. 299 00:13:41,885 --> 00:13:44,819 And for each pie she made, she wrote down the recipe 300 00:13:44,855 --> 00:13:47,522 and put a special note to me on the back. 301 00:13:47,557 --> 00:13:49,858 We don't know what life will bring, 302 00:13:49,893 --> 00:13:53,061 so on your birthday or any day you need it, 303 00:13:53,096 --> 00:13:55,563 you'll know that your mother loved you 304 00:13:55,599 --> 00:13:58,366 and have reasons to love yourself. 305 00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:02,137 You just taught me food is love. 306 00:14:02,172 --> 00:14:05,073 I like myself. 307 00:14:05,108 --> 00:14:06,808 HOMER: That lunch box 308 00:14:06,843 --> 00:14:09,224 was the most valuable possession I ever had. 309 00:14:10,447 --> 00:14:12,714 [SOBBING] When she left, 310 00:14:12,749 --> 00:14:15,216 those recipes were all I had left of her. 311 00:14:15,252 --> 00:14:17,185 And that's the end. What a sweet story. 312 00:14:17,220 --> 00:14:19,254 And there's some things that shouldn't be gone into 313 00:14:19,289 --> 00:14:22,057 until a man is dead and can't be kicked. 314 00:14:22,092 --> 00:14:23,992 After she ran away, my father was furious 315 00:14:24,027 --> 00:14:26,027 and did something terrible. 316 00:14:27,964 --> 00:14:29,864 He threw my recipes off a cliff. 317 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,867 Everything that reminded him of her. 318 00:14:39,276 --> 00:14:40,675 He lied to me. 319 00:14:40,711 --> 00:14:44,245 He told me she took the recipes with her when she left. 320 00:14:44,281 --> 00:14:45,880 Are you sure, Daddy? 321 00:14:45,916 --> 00:14:48,583 Yes. And don't ask me again till I'm on my deathbed. 322 00:14:49,986 --> 00:14:53,788 [STAMMERS] Wait. Why are you looking like that? 323 00:14:53,824 --> 00:14:56,057 If this man had had those notes, 324 00:14:56,093 --> 00:14:58,193 his life would've been different. 325 00:14:58,228 --> 00:14:59,694 He would've had confidence. 326 00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:01,763 He would've had his mother with him! 327 00:15:01,798 --> 00:15:03,565 I would've had hair! 328 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,767 Homie, that's not very realistic. 329 00:15:05,802 --> 00:15:08,057 And I would've been more realistic. 330 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:12,164 - MARGE: Grampa, so thoughtless. - Mean old man. 331 00:15:12,189 --> 00:15:14,322 His slippers don't even have bottoms anymore. 332 00:15:14,358 --> 00:15:18,293 I never thought I'd say this word, but here it comes: Coot. 333 00:15:18,328 --> 00:15:20,529 Homer, why are you smiling? 334 00:15:20,564 --> 00:15:24,888 We're finally hating together as a family. 335 00:15:26,036 --> 00:15:28,970 What do you say we all go to that home and yell at Grampa? 336 00:15:29,006 --> 00:15:31,073 Oh, that would be lovely. 337 00:15:31,108 --> 00:15:33,642 Now enjoy this sweet song of hate. 338 00:15:33,677 --> 00:15:37,746 ♪ If I could save hate in a bottle ♪ 339 00:15:37,781 --> 00:15:41,149 ♪ The first thing that I'd like to do ♪ 340 00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:43,718 ♪ Is to hate every day ♪ 341 00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:46,688 ♪ Till eternity passes away ♪ 342 00:15:46,723 --> 00:15:50,992 ♪ Then end with a giant screw you ♪ 343 00:15:51,028 --> 00:15:54,896 ♪ But there never seems ♪ ♪ to be enough time ♪ 344 00:15:54,932 --> 00:15:57,365 ♪ To hate the things you want to hate ♪ 345 00:15:57,401 --> 00:15:59,768 ♪ Once you hate them. ♪ 346 00:15:59,803 --> 00:16:01,736 [SOBBING] 347 00:16:01,772 --> 00:16:03,238 [MARGE MOANS SOFTLY] 348 00:16:03,273 --> 00:16:06,708 - Lousy Grampa. - MARGE: So heartless. 349 00:16:06,743 --> 00:16:09,044 Always calls me "buddy" or "fella." 350 00:16:09,079 --> 00:16:11,413 Don't forget he's hard of hearing. 351 00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,248 [YELLING]: Lousy Grampa! 352 00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:15,016 [YELLING]: So heartless! 353 00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,385 [YELLING]: What you did was crap, Grampa! 354 00:16:17,421 --> 00:16:20,722 - I want to yell at him first. - I want to yell at him first. 355 00:16:20,757 --> 00:16:23,525 Hey, has anyone considered the silent treatment? 356 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,393 The silent treatment doesn't work. 357 00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:28,430 It doesn't work. 358 00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:31,032 It does not work. 359 00:16:31,068 --> 00:16:33,235 [GRUNTS] Okay, fine, it works. 360 00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:35,804 It works so well. 361 00:16:35,839 --> 00:16:38,807 Please say something. 362 00:16:38,842 --> 00:16:40,709 [GRUNTS] 363 00:16:40,744 --> 00:16:42,744 How long has it been? Three months? 364 00:16:42,779 --> 00:16:45,247 I don't even remember a time before this. 365 00:16:48,285 --> 00:16:49,584 Where's Grampa? 366 00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:53,488 - He hasn't touched his lunch. - Or his lunch meds. 367 00:16:53,524 --> 00:16:57,926 "My beloved family..." Oh, boy. 368 00:16:57,961 --> 00:17:00,262 GRAMPA: "I've learned an important lesson, 369 00:17:00,297 --> 00:17:02,831 never get things off your chest. 370 00:17:02,866 --> 00:17:05,400 Which reminds me of a gal named Chesty Lazar. 371 00:17:05,435 --> 00:17:09,571 She ran a speakeasy on Hawaii right before Pearl Harbor. 372 00:17:09,606 --> 00:17:11,306 Pearl Harbor was the name of the lady 373 00:17:11,341 --> 00:17:12,974 who bought the joint..." 374 00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:15,777 Digression... digression... 375 00:17:15,812 --> 00:17:18,480 Crazy talk... Ah, here's the end. 376 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:19,781 GRAMPA: The point is, 377 00:17:19,816 --> 00:17:22,651 confessing don't really make you feel better, 378 00:17:22,686 --> 00:17:25,520 'cause it don't redo the bad thing you did. 379 00:17:25,556 --> 00:17:29,839 So I'm gonna undo what I done if it's the last thing I do. 380 00:17:30,227 --> 00:17:32,494 Hmm. Mm. 381 00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:36,531 Oh, no. He's heading for that cliff to look for those recipes. 382 00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:38,133 I'm gonna find him, save him, 383 00:17:38,168 --> 00:17:41,836 and tell him I can't wait till he dies. 384 00:17:42,873 --> 00:17:45,006 Leave me alone. I'm gonna find it. 385 00:17:45,042 --> 00:17:48,009 Don't do it, Dad! Most is forgiven! 386 00:17:50,914 --> 00:17:53,548 Wait, what's your rope tied to? 387 00:17:53,584 --> 00:17:55,183 [BOTH SCREAMING] 388 00:17:56,486 --> 00:17:57,519 [GROANS] 389 00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:58,620 - Hmm? - Hmm? 390 00:17:58,655 --> 00:18:00,322 [BOTH GROAN] 391 00:18:00,357 --> 00:18:01,556 [GASPS] Oh, my God. 392 00:18:04,328 --> 00:18:06,528 ALL: Please be okay. Please be okay. 393 00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,363 [GRUNTING] 394 00:18:08,398 --> 00:18:10,198 Oh... 395 00:18:10,234 --> 00:18:11,299 Hmm? 396 00:18:11,335 --> 00:18:13,535 - [GRUNTING] - [LAUGHS] 397 00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,238 [GRUNTING] 398 00:18:17,674 --> 00:18:19,241 [SIGHS, SOBS] 399 00:18:19,276 --> 00:18:20,742 GRAMPA: Don't worry, son. 400 00:18:20,777 --> 00:18:23,245 This will give you all the rope you need. 401 00:18:24,748 --> 00:18:28,350 Dad, no! I love you. Mom left, but you were there. 402 00:18:28,385 --> 00:18:30,719 Cranky, a little drunk, sometimes not there, 403 00:18:30,754 --> 00:18:32,554 but you were always there. 404 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,190 [SOBBING]: Oh. You love me. 405 00:18:35,225 --> 00:18:37,158 That's all I need to hear. 406 00:18:37,194 --> 00:18:38,393 [SCREAMS] 407 00:18:39,630 --> 00:18:42,864 [SCREAMS, LAUGHS] 408 00:18:42,899 --> 00:18:45,667 Good thing I also threw out your mother's bed when she left. 409 00:18:45,702 --> 00:18:50,105 I can still smell her perfume. [INHALES DEEPLY] 410 00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:52,107 And I've got the recipes back. 411 00:18:52,142 --> 00:18:53,842 [HOLLOW RATTLING] 412 00:18:53,877 --> 00:18:55,043 Huh? 413 00:18:55,078 --> 00:18:59,347 Oh. They're gone, just like Mom. 414 00:18:59,383 --> 00:19:02,384 - I'm sorry, son. - It's okay, Dad. 415 00:19:02,419 --> 00:19:04,519 Life doesn't always give you neat endings 416 00:19:04,554 --> 00:19:06,388 that tie everything up in a bow. 417 00:19:08,225 --> 00:19:12,761 Mmm. This pie is fantastic. 418 00:19:12,796 --> 00:19:16,197 It's what I imagine eating great jazz would be like. 419 00:19:16,233 --> 00:19:18,033 Always with the jazz. 420 00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:21,636 It tastes exactly like my mom used to make. 421 00:19:21,672 --> 00:19:23,872 Exactly! 422 00:19:23,907 --> 00:19:26,941 Excuse me, how the hell did you get this recipe? 423 00:19:26,977 --> 00:19:28,943 It was a miracle, actually. 424 00:19:28,979 --> 00:19:32,314 33 years ago, this place wasn't doing well, 425 00:19:32,349 --> 00:19:35,283 possibly due to our location under a cliff. 426 00:19:35,319 --> 00:19:37,752 I went out to contemplate my fate... 427 00:19:37,788 --> 00:19:41,489 when suddenly, like a gift from God, the recipes came. 428 00:19:41,525 --> 00:19:44,926 [MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS] 429 00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:50,098 I'd never seen such recipes, 430 00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:52,167 such brilliant fruit combinations 431 00:19:52,202 --> 00:19:54,502 and such beautiful messages on the back. 432 00:19:58,442 --> 00:20:00,975 [GASPS] Those messages were for me. 433 00:20:01,011 --> 00:20:04,245 Well, then you should have them. 434 00:20:04,281 --> 00:20:07,816 [GASPS] Everything tied up in a bow. 435 00:20:13,023 --> 00:20:15,457 What's it say? 436 00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,426 It says, uh... 437 00:20:18,462 --> 00:20:21,363 "Your father is an okay guy." 438 00:20:21,398 --> 00:20:25,133 - Aw, thanks for telling me. - Thanks for buying it. 439 00:20:25,168 --> 00:20:26,401 [BOTH LAUGHING] 440 00:20:27,812 --> 00:20:29,559 Mr. Simpson, based on your budget, 441 00:20:29,584 --> 00:20:32,818 I am afraid there's only one car on this lot you can afford. 442 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,932 - [GASPS] - You know this car? 443 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,800 Do I! 444 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:39,770 Aw, I thought that's where you were. 445 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,973 - [MEOWING] - Geez, what's wrong with her? 446 00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:48,995 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com -