1
00:00:02,125 --> 00:00:04,125
[SHOUTS]
2
00:00:05,461 --> 00:00:07,461
[PRINTERS WHIRRING]
3
00:00:09,565 --> 00:00:13,000
- Mmm. Jam.
- [PRINTER BEEPING]
4
00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:19,344
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
5
00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:22,467
[YAWNS, LAUGHS]
6
00:00:22,503 --> 00:00:24,102
[FOOTSTEP SPLASHES]
7
00:00:24,138 --> 00:00:25,871
Okay, okay.
8
00:00:25,906 --> 00:00:28,206
The only explanation
is I'm still asleep,
9
00:00:28,242 --> 00:00:30,409
dreaming that the house is flooded.
10
00:00:30,444 --> 00:00:33,145
What does it mean? What does it mean?
11
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:35,147
It probably means you're
under a lot of stress
12
00:00:35,182 --> 00:00:38,016
because this is not a dream
and the house is flooded.
13
00:00:38,052 --> 00:00:40,619
- D'oh!
- Cowabunga!
14
00:00:40,654 --> 00:00:42,788
[MARGE HUMMING]
15
00:00:42,823 --> 00:00:44,056
[GASPS]
16
00:00:44,091 --> 00:00:45,857
MARGE: Oh, my God. This is horrible!
17
00:00:45,893 --> 00:00:47,726
Although, I do like the sofa better
18
00:00:47,761 --> 00:00:49,194
where the water's carrying it.
19
00:00:54,034 --> 00:00:56,702
How did this happen?
20
00:00:58,238 --> 00:01:00,205
Homie, I don't like
where the painting is.
21
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,707
Maybe you're upset about something else.
22
00:01:01,742 --> 00:01:02,741
Are you hungry?
23
00:01:02,776 --> 00:01:04,242
Why don't you make some pork chops?
24
00:01:04,278 --> 00:01:05,477
Fine.
25
00:01:05,512 --> 00:01:08,313
Now can you hang the painting?
26
00:01:08,349 --> 00:01:10,449
Always with the painting.
27
00:01:12,686 --> 00:01:14,953
MARGE: Perfect. Wait, no, no, it's not.
28
00:01:14,989 --> 00:01:17,556
Try again.
29
00:01:17,591 --> 00:01:20,459
Mm. No, split the difference.
30
00:01:22,096 --> 00:01:23,895
See?
31
00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:27,766
When you listen to me,
we make a great team.
32
00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:30,769
It's almost like I can hear the ocean.
33
00:01:30,804 --> 00:01:32,871
I guess we're both at fault.
34
00:01:32,906 --> 00:01:34,706
In a way, that's refreshing.
35
00:01:34,742 --> 00:01:36,842
Do you want me to apologize anyway?
36
00:01:36,877 --> 00:01:39,945
- I'd be happy to.
- Aw, no, thanks, sweetie.
37
00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:42,848
HOMER: Hmm. Well, either way, I'm sorry.
38
00:01:42,851 --> 00:01:45,385
Okay, now, when we try
to sell the house,
39
00:01:45,452 --> 00:01:47,586
no one mention the water.
40
00:01:47,621 --> 00:01:49,588
Just tell me you paid the insurance.
41
00:01:49,623 --> 00:01:51,456
You mean that bill that's
floating right there?
42
00:01:51,492 --> 00:01:54,359
[LAUGHS] It's not due
till tomorrow, so relax.
43
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:57,562
My origami project.
44
00:01:57,598 --> 00:02:01,033
Don't worry, sweetie. We'll
have a funeral for it.
45
00:02:01,068 --> 00:02:03,035
GIL: All right.
46
00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:06,872
I-I'll just pull up your policy.
Alt-Control-F... Aw, damn it!
47
00:02:06,907 --> 00:02:09,074
Kate! Kate, can you get in here?
48
00:02:09,109 --> 00:02:12,444
It's a different generation that
knows how to work these things.
49
00:02:15,382 --> 00:02:17,582
- Enjoy.
- Eh, the kids, huh?
50
00:02:17,618 --> 00:02:20,252
They just know how to do it.
Now let's see here.
51
00:02:20,287 --> 00:02:21,920
[MURMURS QUIETLY]
52
00:02:21,955 --> 00:02:24,022
You're in luck! The policy I sold you
53
00:02:24,058 --> 00:02:26,391
covers the full replacement
value of your house.
54
00:02:26,427 --> 00:02:27,626
[HOMER WHOOPS]
55
00:02:27,661 --> 00:02:30,829
We also pay for six months
temporary housing.
56
00:02:30,864 --> 00:02:33,665
Now the bad news: Your policy
is the only one I've sold.
57
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,233
It just cost the company a bundle,
58
00:02:35,269 --> 00:02:37,002
and I'm gonna lose my job.
59
00:02:37,037 --> 00:02:38,937
Gee, sorry, ol' Gil.
60
00:02:38,972 --> 00:02:42,140
That's okay, I got options:
Unemployment, suicide.
61
00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:44,443
When one door closes, a coffin opens.
62
00:02:44,478 --> 00:02:47,312
Eh, what am I saying?
I don't make coffin money.
63
00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:49,614
But now I got something to work towards!
64
00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:51,116
That's right.
65
00:02:51,151 --> 00:02:54,119
Kate, can you tell me
how to charge a cell phone?
66
00:02:55,956 --> 00:02:58,990
Whoa, whoa, whoa, so wall
holes make things charge?
67
00:02:59,026 --> 00:03:00,725
[LAUGHS] What's next?
68
00:03:03,497 --> 00:03:06,364
There are some nice Airbnb
options on the Westside.
69
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,101
Ooh. Huh? Huh?
70
00:03:09,136 --> 00:03:10,669
Mm, I'd feel kind of weird
71
00:03:10,704 --> 00:03:14,639
sleeping in the bedroom
of someone I know.
72
00:03:14,675 --> 00:03:16,975
Everything okay with the room?
73
00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:18,810
[SHOUTS] You're not supposed to be back
74
00:03:18,846 --> 00:03:20,679
from your vacation for three weeks.
75
00:03:20,714 --> 00:03:22,380
It's not a vacation.
76
00:03:22,416 --> 00:03:24,483
My dad is doing seasonal fruit picking.
77
00:03:24,518 --> 00:03:26,151
Come on, Milhouse.
78
00:03:26,186 --> 00:03:29,488
I need you on my shoulders
to reach the high apples.
79
00:03:29,523 --> 00:03:31,490
And I don't want to be in a room
80
00:03:31,525 --> 00:03:34,960
where guys walked around
with their dinguses out.
81
00:03:34,995 --> 00:03:37,662
No! No, don't imagine that!
82
00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:42,701
So, son, uh, word on the street
is you've come into some money.
83
00:03:42,736 --> 00:03:44,236
Yeah?
84
00:03:44,271 --> 00:03:47,472
I was wondering, you know, uh...
just hear me out...
85
00:03:47,508 --> 00:03:50,075
I've always considered
you a friend, and...
86
00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:52,077
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
87
00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:54,746
This is the most precious
kind of money there is:
88
00:03:54,781 --> 00:03:56,748
Unearned, and it's mine.
89
00:03:56,783 --> 00:03:58,917
And you're not getting at it
just because you need
90
00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:01,319
a bigger TV or a room
with a window or...
91
00:04:01,355 --> 00:04:02,821
An operation.
92
00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:05,557
You need an operation?
What's the matter?
93
00:04:05,592 --> 00:04:07,325
If it's all the same, it's embarrassing,
94
00:04:07,361 --> 00:04:09,394
and I'd rather not discuss it publicly.
95
00:04:09,429 --> 00:04:10,896
Really? What could it be?
96
00:04:10,931 --> 00:04:13,832
Look, it's important to me and pricey.
97
00:04:13,867 --> 00:04:15,634
What could it be?
98
00:04:18,372 --> 00:04:20,338
"Pane in the ass"?
99
00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:22,107
[BUZZING]
100
00:04:22,142 --> 00:04:23,542
[IMITATES BUZZER] Hands off!
101
00:04:23,577 --> 00:04:25,210
I need professional help!
102
00:04:25,245 --> 00:04:27,779
Not to worry. This is the United States.
103
00:04:27,814 --> 00:04:30,182
We have the third best
health care system
104
00:04:30,217 --> 00:04:31,583
in North America.
105
00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:33,185
Hi, Medicare!
106
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,387
I mean, hi, every-money.
107
00:04:35,422 --> 00:04:37,689
Can I speak with the doctor alone?
108
00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:40,091
Of course.
109
00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:42,260
Oh, wait, I'm the doctor.
110
00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:45,430
That's why I wear the
heart listening tube.
111
00:04:45,465 --> 00:04:47,465
Ba-boom, ba-boom.
112
00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:49,467
That never gets old.
113
00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:52,470
What's taking Grampa so long in there?
114
00:04:52,506 --> 00:04:55,373
It's crazy that medical
costs are so high here.
115
00:04:55,409 --> 00:04:59,778
In Denmark... to pick a country
at random... health care is free.
116
00:04:59,813 --> 00:05:03,415
Free? Honey, nothing
is free but Splendas.
117
00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:06,518
In Denmark, they make
everyone pay high taxes.
118
00:05:06,553 --> 00:05:08,053
Even rich people.
119
00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:10,388
Yes, and they get free health care.
120
00:05:10,424 --> 00:05:12,424
It's called socialism.
121
00:05:12,459 --> 00:05:16,228
Socialism? But all my radio
loudmouths tell me to hate that.
122
00:05:16,263 --> 00:05:18,396
That doc can't do nothing for me.
123
00:05:18,432 --> 00:05:22,000
You know, if Grampa was in
Denmark and he had an accident,
124
00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:24,836
he'd get medical care for free!
125
00:05:24,871 --> 00:05:26,838
I can't go to Denmark by myself.
126
00:05:26,873 --> 00:05:29,274
I get lost in the middle of a sentence,
127
00:05:29,309 --> 00:05:33,311
and that was the best pie I ever had.
128
00:05:33,347 --> 00:05:35,780
Wait a minute. What if we
used our insurance money
129
00:05:35,816 --> 00:05:38,183
to take a family trip to Denmark?
130
00:05:38,218 --> 00:05:39,851
Why would we want to go to Denmark?
131
00:05:39,886 --> 00:05:43,021
It is the happiest country
on Earth, in poll after poll.
132
00:05:43,056 --> 00:05:46,658
I got your poll right here.
133
00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:47,993
Hey, you're right.
134
00:05:48,028 --> 00:05:50,195
Homer, you've got the vacation coming.
135
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:52,330
We've got the money. It's settled.
136
00:05:52,366 --> 00:05:56,101
We're going to Denmark,
and Grampa will get fixed.
137
00:05:56,136 --> 00:05:59,537
Well, Homer, looks like Marge
is the boss in your house.
138
00:05:59,573 --> 00:06:01,373
Well, I say we don't go!
139
00:06:01,408 --> 00:06:03,241
But we need to go. I'm desperate!
140
00:06:03,277 --> 00:06:04,709
Fine, we'll go.
141
00:06:04,745 --> 00:06:07,834
[LAUGHS] That woman's got
you right under her thumb.
142
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,476
DANISH MAN: None of these were chosen
143
00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:17,779
as the name of our airline. Danish Air.
144
00:06:17,797 --> 00:06:22,300
Excuse me, sir, the "no smoking"
sign has been illuminated.
145
00:06:22,335 --> 00:06:24,936
[ELECTRONIC CHIMING]
146
00:06:24,971 --> 00:06:27,038
Sorry.
147
00:06:27,073 --> 00:06:29,841
The flight attendants are so sweet.
148
00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:32,610
We will be landing in
Copenhagen shortly.
149
00:06:32,645 --> 00:06:35,112
If you have been designing
and building furniture
150
00:06:35,148 --> 00:06:38,983
during the flight, please apply
your final coat of varnish now.
151
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,154
Hey, I got things done, too.
152
00:06:43,189 --> 00:06:45,156
GRAMPA: What the...?!
153
00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:47,577
SOREN: Denmark, the jewel of the Baltic.
154
00:06:47,609 --> 00:06:50,143
First-class schools,
sleek furniture design,
155
00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:51,544
energy independence,
156
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:55,682
and brooding TV dramas
about teenagers getting killed.
157
00:06:55,717 --> 00:06:58,284
Thank you so much for
renting my apartment.
158
00:06:58,319 --> 00:07:00,086
It's so efficient.
159
00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:06,859
Please allow me to give
you a tour of Copenhagen.
160
00:07:06,895 --> 00:07:10,363
Wonderful. But first, a nap.
161
00:07:10,398 --> 00:07:13,633
No, Homer. You slept on the plane.
162
00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:16,436
You slept through customs.
You slept on the bus.
163
00:07:16,471 --> 00:07:18,337
How can you sleep now?
164
00:07:18,373 --> 00:07:21,140
Don't you hear Copenhagen calling?
165
00:07:21,176 --> 00:07:23,176
Take a message.
166
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,614
♪ ♪
167
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:35,254
The people here are
so openly affectionate.
168
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:36,823
Why don't we all hold hands?
169
00:07:36,858 --> 00:07:38,991
Are we supposed to
interlock fingers or not?
170
00:07:39,027 --> 00:07:40,526
Cramp! Cramp!
171
00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:41,994
Dad's hands are covered with jam.
172
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,430
- I can't get it off!
- Grampa's hands are too rough.
173
00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:46,733
- Lisa's hands are too soft.
- Just keep holding.
174
00:07:46,768 --> 00:07:48,668
Oh, don't worry, the
government will pay you
175
00:07:48,703 --> 00:07:50,236
to learn this social skill.
176
00:07:50,271 --> 00:07:52,505
Uh, Homer, you are
holding your own hand.
177
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:56,342
They're fighting over a Danish.
178
00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,678
SOREN: Created in 1913,
The Little Mermaid
179
00:07:58,713 --> 00:08:01,080
is a world-famous icon of Denmark.
180
00:08:01,116 --> 00:08:03,316
No, The Little Mermaid
was created by Disney,
181
00:08:03,351 --> 00:08:06,018
right before he created
Spider-Man and Star Wars.
182
00:08:06,054 --> 00:08:07,754
This is the real little mermaid.
183
00:08:07,789 --> 00:08:09,689
And she was a very tragic figure.
184
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:11,758
- What about her buddy, the crab?
- There was no crab!
185
00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:13,526
He was the only funny thing in it.
186
00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:14,694
Got that right.
187
00:08:14,729 --> 00:08:16,529
Oh, my God, it's wonderful.
188
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:18,898
More people biking than driving cars.
189
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,466
Yes, it's rush hour,
190
00:08:20,502 --> 00:08:23,102
so people are taking the
bicycle superhighways home.
191
00:08:23,138 --> 00:08:24,804
Uh, how crowded are your
bicycle superhighways?
192
00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:26,305
[CHUCKLES]: Well...
193
00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:27,807
We don't have any.
194
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:30,009
But how many people
ride bikes in your town?
195
00:08:30,044 --> 00:08:31,711
The paperboy, till Dad hit him.
196
00:08:31,746 --> 00:08:33,946
Sadly, the one headline
he couldn't deliver.
197
00:08:33,982 --> 00:08:36,315
Wait a minute, wait a
minute, stop the car!
198
00:08:37,886 --> 00:08:39,952
[HOMER AND BART LAUGH]
199
00:08:39,988 --> 00:08:42,121
What? It's Danish for "speed check."
200
00:08:42,157 --> 00:08:44,657
- Fart kontrol.
- [HOMER AND BART LAUGHING]
201
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,392
[BLOWS RASPBERRIES]
202
00:08:46,427 --> 00:08:47,894
[GIGGLES]
203
00:08:47,929 --> 00:08:49,729
I apologize for my husband.
204
00:08:49,764 --> 00:08:51,931
In our language, that sign
means something else.
205
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,432
Yes, I know.
206
00:08:53,468 --> 00:08:55,301
I'm speaking to you in your language.
207
00:08:58,239 --> 00:09:01,841
"Non-Danes do not qualify
for the free health care.
208
00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:04,343
"But if you injure yourself in Denmark,
209
00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:07,747
a Danish hospital will
treat you for free."
210
00:09:07,782 --> 00:09:11,450
[CHUCKLES] I can't believe
the government puts this out.
211
00:09:11,486 --> 00:09:12,919
For free!
212
00:09:12,954 --> 00:09:14,687
[HOMER AND GRAMPA LAUGH]
213
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,956
Excuse me, you dropped this.
214
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:20,493
Lisa, this is Prince Christian,
second in line to the throne.
215
00:09:20,528 --> 00:09:23,496
♪ ♪
216
00:09:23,531 --> 00:09:25,531
I play the tenor sax.
217
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:27,600
Oh, no, here it comes.
218
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,036
The fantasy about becoming a princess
219
00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:32,171
that no girl can resist.
220
00:09:32,207 --> 00:09:34,207
♪ ♪
221
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:52,258
[TRUMPETS PLAYING FANFARE]
222
00:09:52,293 --> 00:09:54,961
[DRAMATIC SOUNDTRACK MUSIC PLAYING]
223
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,133
Bart, get out of my fantasy!
224
00:10:01,169 --> 00:10:04,203
Ah, geez, I saved your life.
How about a "you're welcome"?
225
00:10:06,241 --> 00:10:08,074
Can you imagine how exciting it would be
226
00:10:08,109 --> 00:10:09,642
to live in this city?
227
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:12,078
Ooh, Mom, we could try
it for a semester.
228
00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:15,414
Do you know how long I've wanted
to live in a Celsius country?
229
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,250
There's boobs on the billboards!
230
00:10:17,285 --> 00:10:20,519
And we're here in the world's
most perfect amusement park.
231
00:10:20,555 --> 00:10:23,256
[FIREWORKS WHISTLING, POPPING]
232
00:10:23,291 --> 00:10:24,557
[BOTH GASP]
233
00:10:24,592 --> 00:10:26,592
[CHOIR SINGING IN DANISH]
234
00:10:29,764 --> 00:10:32,732
Their national anthem is so beautiful,
235
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,401
and they don't get to war
until the second verse.
236
00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:39,071
And it's in a range
you can actually sing.
237
00:10:39,107 --> 00:10:44,510
♪ There is a lovely land ♪
238
00:10:44,545 --> 00:10:49,715
♪ With spreading shady beech-trees ♪
239
00:10:49,751 --> 00:10:53,786
♪ Near salty eastern shore ♪
240
00:10:53,821 --> 00:11:00,526
♪ Near salty eastern shore. ♪
241
00:11:02,397 --> 00:11:06,799
Bart and Lisa are getting along!
This country is calling to us.
242
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,602
Homer, can you take the daring step
243
00:11:09,637 --> 00:11:11,804
of doing nothing and staying here?
244
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,973
There are big reasons
why we can't live here.
245
00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,542
I'm okay with nuclear
power, but wind power?
246
00:11:16,577 --> 00:11:20,313
- Frankly, it sounds dangerous.
- Excuse me, white trash.
247
00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:22,815
Is this the kind of country
you want to live in?
248
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:26,052
No, sir. I meant we separate
our trash by colors.
249
00:11:26,087 --> 00:11:31,657
♪ This country is still lovely ♪
250
00:11:31,693 --> 00:11:35,494
♪ Because blue is the lake wind... ♪
251
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:38,965
I can't believe you're talking
about leaving Springfield.
252
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,133
That's where all my friends are.
253
00:11:44,839 --> 00:11:47,740
Look, everyone, we came here
to rip this country off,
254
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,843
and that's what we're gonna do
and then go home.
255
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,146
Fine. Let's find a place
that has good smorrebrod,
256
00:11:54,182 --> 00:11:58,451
or maybe some morbradbof or flaeskesteg.
257
00:11:58,486 --> 00:12:00,119
Women do love this country.
258
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,921
Homer, do you think I'm handsome?
259
00:12:01,956 --> 00:12:04,323
Well, yes. I was gonna mention it.
260
00:12:04,359 --> 00:12:07,460
- I am a Danish four.
- I'm an American nine.
261
00:12:07,495 --> 00:12:10,162
["AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL" PLAYING]
262
00:12:10,198 --> 00:12:12,698
How could my family want to stay here?
263
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:16,602
In America, we have great
TV channels, like BBC America,
264
00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:20,339
and a factory for cheesecakes...
a factory!
265
00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:23,275
Your enthusiasm makes me
want to follow you there.
266
00:12:23,311 --> 00:12:25,077
Foreigners are no longer welcome.
267
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:28,681
All right, Dad, no more fooling around.
268
00:12:28,716 --> 00:12:31,650
Time to get you in the hospital,
so we can go home.
269
00:12:31,686 --> 00:12:33,686
♪ ♪
270
00:12:53,574 --> 00:12:56,208
♪ ♪
271
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,995
Hello. How was your day?
272
00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:18,264
Eh. This country sure is safe.
273
00:13:18,299 --> 00:13:20,666
Well, last week, an older tourist
274
00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:22,701
had a bad fall at Kronborg Castle.
275
00:13:22,737 --> 00:13:26,572
Of course, Kronborg Castle.
Why didn't I think of it?
276
00:13:26,607 --> 00:13:28,874
Probably because I never heard of it.
277
00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:30,943
TOUR GUIDE: Dating back
to the 15th century,
278
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,679
Kronborg was immortalized as Elsinore
279
00:13:33,714 --> 00:13:35,281
in Shakespeare's Hamlet.
280
00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:36,849
Isn't it beautiful?
281
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,618
Yeah, the castle's okay,
but the keep is, like, meh.
282
00:13:39,654 --> 00:13:41,921
And I'll tell you something else
great about here.
283
00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:44,557
You've been walking so much,
you've lost weight.
284
00:13:44,592 --> 00:13:47,293
[GASPS] I'm down to
my pre-pregnancy weight!
285
00:13:47,328 --> 00:13:50,262
Homer, in this most beautiful
spot on Earth,
286
00:13:50,298 --> 00:13:54,934
I have to admit to you,
I really don't want to go home.
287
00:13:54,969 --> 00:13:57,036
- I don't either.
- Let's stay.
288
00:13:57,071 --> 00:13:59,438
Think about how happy we'd be here.
289
00:13:59,474 --> 00:14:03,976
It's healthy, it's clean,
it's incredibly civilized,
290
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,812
and everything is done in moderation.
291
00:14:06,848 --> 00:14:08,948
You're not describing a country.
292
00:14:08,983 --> 00:14:11,817
You're describing everything
that's the opposite of me.
293
00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:13,819
Everyone here speaks perfect English.
294
00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:15,754
Probably gonna be around in five years.
295
00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:18,824
It's just a nice place and we like it.
296
00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:22,361
All I ask is that you think about it.
297
00:14:24,832 --> 00:14:28,467
Maybe she's right.
Maybe we should move here.
298
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,572
Tubby or not tubby,
that is the question.
299
00:14:33,608 --> 00:14:35,274
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
300
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:38,477
to gobble the wings and nachos
of outrageous portions,
301
00:14:38,513 --> 00:14:40,513
or just eat fish and end them.
302
00:14:40,548 --> 00:14:44,683
Ay, there's the rub...
brisket rub, Memphis rub.
303
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:49,121
Oh, the rubs I'll miss when I
have shuffled off from Buffalo.
304
00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:50,956
Mozzarella... No.
305
00:14:50,992 --> 00:14:53,792
I'm an American, and we've got
to get back to America,
306
00:14:53,828 --> 00:14:57,925
the greatest country on Earth,
1917 to 2016.
307
00:14:59,052 --> 00:15:01,999
This is the famous Holger
Danish, our sleeping king.
308
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,567
All right, Dad, here we go.
309
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,437
There's nothing more American
than a slip and fall.
310
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,406
- [GRUNTS]
- Whoa!
311
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,908
Hold on, son.
312
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:13,708
Before you push me down these
stairs, I have a confession.
313
00:15:13,754 --> 00:15:16,388
The procedure I need isn't a surgery.
314
00:15:16,435 --> 00:15:19,336
I just need to remove an old tattoo.
315
00:15:19,371 --> 00:15:22,272
You made us come here
because of a stupid tattoo?
316
00:15:22,307 --> 00:15:25,108
It's not just any tattoo.
317
00:15:27,279 --> 00:15:28,845
[GASPS] Mom?
318
00:15:28,881 --> 00:15:33,483
No! Mona Malloy,
who used to iron my shirts.
319
00:15:33,519 --> 00:15:35,519
Of course it's your mother.
320
00:15:38,123 --> 00:15:41,191
I can't go to my grave
with this hanging over my heart.
321
00:15:41,226 --> 00:15:42,793
Why is it guys like us
322
00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:45,328
are always disappointing
the women we love?
323
00:15:45,364 --> 00:15:48,698
I would ask Mona, but she's
spending eternity hating me,
324
00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:50,333
from her pit in hell.
325
00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:52,035
I miss her, too.
326
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:54,938
Her greatest skill was
making people miss her.
327
00:15:54,973 --> 00:15:56,807
[SOBBING]
328
00:15:56,842 --> 00:15:59,443
- Hello.
- She's talking to you.
329
00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:02,145
Mm, I'll talk to someone my age.
330
00:16:02,181 --> 00:16:03,647
[CHUCKLES]
331
00:16:03,682 --> 00:16:06,516
Excuse me. I felt compelled to meet you.
332
00:16:06,552 --> 00:16:09,553
I've never met a man
with empathy so deep
333
00:16:09,588 --> 00:16:11,221
he weeps in public.
334
00:16:11,256 --> 00:16:13,356
Oh, yeah, I cry, I blubber.
335
00:16:13,392 --> 00:16:15,392
Sometimes stuff comes out of my nose.
336
00:16:15,427 --> 00:16:17,394
Well... [SIGHS]
337
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:20,197
Danish men never reveal such emotion.
338
00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:22,566
They're like cold, flawless gods.
339
00:16:22,601 --> 00:16:24,901
Look, lady, I'm a married man.
340
00:16:24,937 --> 00:16:27,537
- I'm a married man.
- Shh.
341
00:16:27,573 --> 00:16:29,172
[MUFFLED]: I'm a married man.
342
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,976
Here, marriage is not
such a sacred institution.
343
00:16:33,011 --> 00:16:35,512
Danes are very free sexually.
344
00:16:35,547 --> 00:16:39,749
Perhaps it's because we are more
sensitive to each other's needs,
345
00:16:39,785 --> 00:16:42,185
or just because
we're all so freaking hot.
346
00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:46,356
Now let us dance our
traditional dance of passion.
347
00:16:46,391 --> 00:16:47,791
Okay.
348
00:16:47,826 --> 00:16:49,826
- [LIVELY DANISH MUSIC PLAYING]
- [EXCITED SHOUTING]
349
00:16:59,071 --> 00:17:03,206
Do you know the Danes eat more
ice cream than any other people?
350
00:17:03,242 --> 00:17:05,275
Yet their rate of heart disease is...
351
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,511
Oh, it's their number one
cause of death.
352
00:17:07,546 --> 00:17:09,212
Well, look where we got it.
353
00:17:10,749 --> 00:17:12,849
Well, that never stopped your father.
354
00:17:12,885 --> 00:17:15,952
I'll just text a picture of you
right now, eating the ice...
355
00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:17,287
Oh, my God.
356
00:17:17,322 --> 00:17:19,489
[GASPS] Marge.
357
00:17:21,493 --> 00:17:22,792
Where are you going?
358
00:17:22,828 --> 00:17:25,195
Where will I ever find
another man like you?
359
00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:28,231
Hi, we're the Kiwanis Club
of Cheeseburg, Ohio.
360
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:31,801
[SIGHS]: Oh... hio.
361
00:17:32,771 --> 00:17:34,471
I must confess to you now,
362
00:17:34,506 --> 00:17:38,141
every couple that has Airbnb'd
my apartment has broken up.
363
00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:40,544
Then how did it get
so many good reviews?
364
00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:42,245
They like the big apartment cat.
365
00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:45,215
Oh, I do like it.
Ooh, let me scratch your chin!
366
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:46,583
[PURRING]
367
00:17:46,618 --> 00:17:48,618
He's so chubby, I just can't take it!
368
00:17:48,654 --> 00:17:50,487
Marge, honey, I'm so sorry.
369
00:17:50,522 --> 00:17:52,989
We shared a dance and a fish,
but that's it.
370
00:17:53,025 --> 00:17:55,992
- I understand. It's fine.
- So you're coming home?
371
00:17:56,028 --> 00:17:58,728
No, I'm not. I want to stay.
372
00:17:58,764 --> 00:18:02,432
I don't know for how long,
but I feel so alive and free.
373
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,100
I've stopped wearing a bra.
374
00:18:04,136 --> 00:18:06,736
[GASPS] That means
they're just one fabric away
375
00:18:06,772 --> 00:18:08,672
from the cool Scandinavian air.
376
00:18:08,707 --> 00:18:11,274
Sorry, Homie. We're not leaving.
377
00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:14,177
Well, the kids can't just replace me.
378
00:18:14,212 --> 00:18:17,480
He's so cozy. He can sleep with Mom.
379
00:18:17,516 --> 00:18:19,516
Can I get you a beer?
380
00:18:19,551 --> 00:18:21,585
[PURRING]
381
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:23,687
[HOMER GROANS]
382
00:18:26,491 --> 00:18:28,525
- Dad, wait.
- [GASPS]
383
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,695
Mom says you can take these home
with you. It's a bag of bras.
384
00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:35,465
And I just learned how to unhook these.
385
00:18:37,502 --> 00:18:39,002
Oh, my God. What am I doing?
386
00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:40,971
I should be having the time of my life
387
00:18:41,006 --> 00:18:44,307
in this airport security line,
but it's nothing without Marge.
388
00:18:44,343 --> 00:18:46,376
Son, I got to tell you something.
389
00:18:46,411 --> 00:18:48,678
- You're making a huge mistake.
- I know.
390
00:18:48,714 --> 00:18:50,847
I let stubbornness ruin my marriage,
391
00:18:50,882 --> 00:18:53,984
and all I have to show for it
is an old tattoo.
392
00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:57,120
- Go back to your woman.
- You mean the one in the bar?
393
00:18:57,155 --> 00:18:59,389
First the one in the bar, then Marge.
394
00:18:59,424 --> 00:19:00,991
No! Just Marge.
395
00:19:01,026 --> 00:19:02,792
♪ ♪
396
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:11,468
- Marge!
- [GASPS] You missed the flight.
397
00:19:11,503 --> 00:19:14,170
Marge, baby, wherever you are is home.
398
00:19:14,206 --> 00:19:15,805
I'm staying in Copenhagen.
399
00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:17,474
I'm glad you came back,
400
00:19:17,509 --> 00:19:20,844
but I was kind of rethinking
living here.
401
00:19:20,879 --> 00:19:22,512
Why?
402
00:19:22,547 --> 00:19:24,481
The toilet's in the shower.
403
00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:26,082
The washing machine won't even hold
404
00:19:26,118 --> 00:19:27,717
one pair of your underpants.
405
00:19:30,288 --> 00:19:33,590
And you see how dark it is?
406
00:19:33,625 --> 00:19:35,692
It's 11:00 in the morning.
407
00:19:38,096 --> 00:19:39,496
[YAWNS]
408
00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:42,432
Well, that was a nice day.
409
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:44,834
I think I'm ready to go home.
410
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,269
You got it, baby.
411
00:19:46,304 --> 00:19:48,204
We'll ditch this paradise
and never come back.
412
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,539
What about the kids?
413
00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:51,975
I heard the schools are
really great here. I'm out.
414
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:54,811
I want to stay,
but no one ever listens to me.
415
00:19:54,846 --> 00:19:56,446
So we're all united.
416
00:19:56,481 --> 00:19:58,048
- Yay!
- Whoo!
417
00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:01,451
But I can't help thinking
I'm forgetting something.
418
00:20:03,722 --> 00:20:06,356
Sir, those birds were
already fed by the state.
419
00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:09,459
You are overfeeding them,
which will kill them.
420
00:20:09,494 --> 00:20:10,827
[GRAMPA GRUNTS]
421
00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:18,329
When life gives you lemons,
you make lemonade.
422
00:20:18,364 --> 00:20:20,633
ALL: Aw.
423
00:20:20,766 --> 00:20:22,566
So how much do we owe you?
424
00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:25,569
Nothing. In Denmark,
we have socialized tattooing.
425
00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:29,173
And with that, our country
is out of money. Good-bye.
426
00:20:35,624 --> 00:20:37,281
[PANTING]
427
00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:43,771
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -