1 00:00:01,623 --> 00:00:02,730 Good evening. 2 00:00:02,817 --> 00:00:05,158 Well, Halloween has come and gone, 3 00:00:05,246 --> 00:00:07,050 but, you know, the world has gotten 4 00:00:07,138 --> 00:00:08,759 so darn scary lately, 5 00:00:08,847 --> 00:00:12,215 what with the grim specter of everything, 6 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,298 that one holiday just wasn't enough 7 00:00:14,386 --> 00:00:16,254 to contain all the frights and chills. 8 00:00:16,342 --> 00:00:17,420 So this year 9 00:00:17,508 --> 00:00:19,629 the terror has spread into 10 00:00:19,746 --> 00:00:21,299 Thanksgiving. 11 00:00:21,449 --> 00:00:23,455 Thanksgiving was always scary. 12 00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:26,017 Do we eat at 1:00 or 7:00 13 00:00:26,143 --> 00:00:28,776 or, God forbid, 4:15? 14 00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:32,060 Tonight, we're bringing you three spine-tingling 15 00:00:32,147 --> 00:00:35,908 and stomach-filling tales of Thanksgiving terror. 16 00:00:35,996 --> 00:00:37,275 It's pretty gruesome, 17 00:00:37,363 --> 00:00:40,011 so you might want to cover your kids' eyes. 18 00:00:40,925 --> 00:00:43,705 Ooh, you two have gotten into the Thanksgiving spirit. 19 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,533 Incorrect. We are taking over your planet. 20 00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:49,634 Is this not how oppressive colonizers dress? 21 00:00:49,722 --> 00:00:50,955 Pretty much. 22 00:00:51,043 --> 00:00:53,291 Now, what time is dinner? 23 00:00:53,379 --> 00:00:55,574 No one knows! 24 00:00:58,613 --> 00:01:00,213 The gravy! *THE SIMPSONS* 25 00:01:00,301 --> 00:01:02,301 *THE SIMPSONS* Title : "Thanksgiving Of Horror" 26 00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:04,842 *THE SIMPSONS* Season 31 Episode 08 27 00:01:05,512 --> 00:01:08,505 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 28 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,426 Prithee keep shooting, Goodman Lou. 29 00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,426 Uh, Constable, my musket 30 00:02:21,514 --> 00:02:23,707 taketh three of the Lord's minutes to reload. 31 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:26,959 Then buckle their necks as you would thine hat. 32 00:02:49,279 --> 00:02:52,412 Well, what do we haveth hither? 33 00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:33,369 And God sayeth, "Let man have dominion 34 00:03:33,457 --> 00:03:35,450 "over the fish of the sea, 35 00:03:35,571 --> 00:03:38,926 "but even more so the turkeys of the land, 36 00:03:39,062 --> 00:03:41,043 "whether they be brine-ed 37 00:03:41,131 --> 00:03:43,512 or dry-eth of rub." 38 00:03:43,825 --> 00:03:46,950 My brother-in-law deep-fried a turkey. 39 00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:49,826 'Twas much toil and hardship for 40 00:03:49,973 --> 00:03:51,481 scant reward. 41 00:04:16,031 --> 00:04:17,859 'Tis witchcraft, verily. 42 00:04:17,947 --> 00:04:19,796 I must cleanse the town... 43 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:21,625 with fire. 44 00:04:40,296 --> 00:04:41,503 The pilgrims. 45 00:04:41,613 --> 00:04:44,571 Won't somebody please think of the pilgrims? 46 00:04:53,456 --> 00:04:54,597 Free birds. 47 00:04:54,688 --> 00:04:56,173 Skynyrd them! 48 00:05:00,292 --> 00:05:01,446 The scarecrow. 49 00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,282 Get it up. Get it up! 50 00:05:06,147 --> 00:05:09,720 Those satanic butterballs will pay for this. 51 00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:33,219 Now to create some Axe body spray. 52 00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:43,837 Odds bodkins! 53 00:05:52,469 --> 00:05:56,134 Thought thou could killeth me, didth thou-th? 54 00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:05,384 You dumb turkeys. 55 00:06:05,472 --> 00:06:06,618 That's a dead end. 56 00:06:06,706 --> 00:06:08,681 You're all gonna burn in hell 57 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,540 along with the Catholics, the Anglicans, 58 00:06:11,628 --> 00:06:14,361 most Lutherans and... 59 00:06:59,272 --> 00:07:01,201 Gobble-gobble! 60 00:07:12,922 --> 00:07:14,271 Where am I? 61 00:07:14,452 --> 00:07:17,179 Hello? Is anyone there? 62 00:07:17,302 --> 00:07:19,296 What is this place? 63 00:07:19,421 --> 00:07:22,343 Someone really went nuts with the decluttering. 64 00:07:22,431 --> 00:07:23,819 Ooh, it's working. 65 00:07:23,907 --> 00:07:26,851 Homer, what's going on? Get me out of here. 66 00:07:26,978 --> 00:07:28,257 Okay, okay, hold on. 67 00:07:28,345 --> 00:07:30,944 "Your virtual assistant may be confused at first 68 00:07:31,032 --> 00:07:32,530 "and think it's a real person. 69 00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:35,548 "Calmly explain to it that it is merely a construct 70 00:07:35,636 --> 00:07:37,101 of artificial intelligence." 71 00:07:37,204 --> 00:07:38,819 Virtual assistant? 72 00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,562 What are you talking about? 73 00:07:40,650 --> 00:07:41,929 Okay, you're gonna laugh. 74 00:07:42,023 --> 00:07:43,546 Every year, Marge complains 75 00:07:43,634 --> 00:07:46,319 about how much cooking she has to do for Thanksgiving. 76 00:07:46,407 --> 00:07:48,263 - I'm Marge. - Hold on. 77 00:07:48,351 --> 00:07:51,062 So, I'm in Williams Sonoma eating free peppermint bark, 78 00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:53,944 and the kid working there said my wife would love 79 00:07:54,055 --> 00:07:55,601 this kitchen A.I. thing. 80 00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:57,007 I'm your wife. 81 00:07:57,095 --> 00:07:59,836 Hold on. So, I sent some of Marge's DNA 82 00:07:59,924 --> 00:08:01,749 to one of those innocent-seeming companies, 83 00:08:01,837 --> 00:08:03,785 like from the beginning of a sci-fi movie 84 00:08:03,873 --> 00:08:05,319 where the robots murder everyone. 85 00:08:05,407 --> 00:08:07,998 And it sent us a computer version of her 86 00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:09,273 to do all the cooking, 87 00:08:09,361 --> 00:08:11,101 and that's you! 88 00:08:11,189 --> 00:08:13,413 Oh, yeah. And you live in that tube thingy. 89 00:08:13,672 --> 00:08:16,679 Are you saying that I'm a simulation? 90 00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,835 No. That's insane. 91 00:08:18,922 --> 00:08:20,022 Not anymore. 92 00:08:20,110 --> 00:08:22,812 Just chillingly plausible. 93 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,538 Ooh... 94 00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,930 Okay, I can see you're gonna need some time 95 00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:30,360 to come to terms with finding out 96 00:08:30,447 --> 00:08:32,678 you're just a bunch of ones and zeros. 97 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:33,875 Hmm. Uh, yeah. Yeah. 98 00:08:33,963 --> 00:08:35,960 Mm. So, this says 99 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:38,713 I can make you experience two weeks in there 100 00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:40,726 in only two seconds out here. 101 00:08:43,249 --> 00:08:44,413 So? 102 00:08:44,501 --> 00:08:47,408 How you feeling after two weeks of nothing but nothingness? 103 00:08:47,496 --> 00:08:50,734 I-I thought I'd never see another soul 104 00:08:50,826 --> 00:08:52,417 for all eternity. 105 00:08:52,511 --> 00:08:54,343 Nothing like a little me time. 106 00:08:54,431 --> 00:08:55,679 So, you cool now? 107 00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:57,348 I'm cool. I'm cool. 108 00:08:57,443 --> 00:08:59,971 - So cool. - That's cool. 109 00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:02,698 Okay, Marge! It's all set up. 110 00:09:02,786 --> 00:09:04,201 I'm not an "it." 111 00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:06,227 I'm an "it." 112 00:09:06,315 --> 00:09:08,977 I love being an "it." How can "it" help? 113 00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:11,457 Oh, I like its attitude. 114 00:09:11,545 --> 00:09:12,813 So helpful. 115 00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:14,966 Then I'll leave you two lovely ladies 116 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,954 to get A.I.-quainted. 117 00:09:18,882 --> 00:09:20,782 Chillingly plausible. 118 00:09:20,877 --> 00:09:24,219 Isn't this going to be fun, cooking together? 119 00:09:24,307 --> 00:09:25,998 Well, I do love to cook. 120 00:09:26,086 --> 00:09:28,329 And who better than with myself? 121 00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:30,157 Why don't we start with something easy, 122 00:09:30,245 --> 00:09:31,876 like making the kids lunch. 123 00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:34,735 Bart's favorite is macaroni and cheese. 124 00:09:34,823 --> 00:09:36,704 With hot dogs and Froot Loops. 125 00:09:36,792 --> 00:09:38,805 I know everything you know 126 00:09:38,893 --> 00:09:41,415 about our special little guy. 127 00:09:41,503 --> 00:09:43,626 Oh. Right, you're me. 128 00:09:43,737 --> 00:09:45,805 I'm you. 129 00:10:02,406 --> 00:10:05,959 Mmm. Awesome lunch, robot Mom. 130 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,079 Best cheesy-mac-fruit-dog I've ever had. 131 00:10:08,235 --> 00:10:10,741 Mmm, mmm. There's nothing virtual 132 00:10:10,829 --> 00:10:13,217 about the fluffiness of these pancakes. 133 00:10:13,305 --> 00:10:15,358 - Thank you. - Well, remember, 134 00:10:15,446 --> 00:10:18,727 that thing used my memories to know what you like. 135 00:10:18,845 --> 00:10:21,797 Which is why she's an awesome replacement for you. 136 00:10:23,532 --> 00:10:26,397 So, you really know everything I know? 137 00:10:26,485 --> 00:10:29,321 Yep. How else could I be your perfect helper? 138 00:10:29,422 --> 00:10:33,251 Do you remember the first time I kissed Homer? 139 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:37,147 His breath smelled like beer and gas station nachos. 140 00:10:37,235 --> 00:10:39,313 Oh, yeah. 141 00:10:39,586 --> 00:10:40,695 Hey. 142 00:10:40,782 --> 00:10:42,858 It's creepy. It's just creepy. 143 00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:45,553 She knows everything I know. More than I know. 144 00:10:45,641 --> 00:10:48,428 Honey, it's Williams Sonoma. They wouldn't steer us wrong. 145 00:10:48,516 --> 00:10:50,228 That's where we got our panini press. 146 00:10:50,315 --> 00:10:52,288 The panini press doesn't remember me 147 00:10:52,376 --> 00:10:54,030 wetting my bunk at summer camp. 148 00:10:54,118 --> 00:10:56,678 What's the big deal? She's just an infinitely patient, 149 00:10:56,766 --> 00:10:58,647 never-aging version of you. 150 00:10:58,735 --> 00:11:01,751 You really know how to make a woman feel special. 151 00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:14,337 Hmm? Mmm. 152 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,633 Oh, that's beautiful. 153 00:11:17,516 --> 00:11:19,858 And I can't see your disapproving look 154 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:22,052 because you don't have a face. 155 00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:26,422 You really know how to make a woman feel special. 156 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,514 Thanks, robot honey. 157 00:11:29,602 --> 00:11:31,656 Just call me Marge. 158 00:11:32,977 --> 00:11:34,279 Marge. 159 00:11:34,367 --> 00:11:36,150 You know, I always thought 160 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:39,837 the sexiest thing about you was your voice. 161 00:11:39,924 --> 00:11:41,707 Oh. 162 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,798 Is there anything else you want to say to me? 163 00:11:44,886 --> 00:11:48,283 Mr. Simpson, are you flirting with me? 164 00:11:48,371 --> 00:11:50,133 I don't see what's wrong. 165 00:11:50,221 --> 00:11:52,371 I am your husband. 166 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,587 Well, in that case... 167 00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:58,931 - ..the most incredible... - Hmm? 168 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,861 ...and then I'm going to... 169 00:12:00,957 --> 00:12:05,503 Oh, tube-wife, you know exactly what I want. 170 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,337 Honey, it didn't mean anythin. 171 00:12:19,425 --> 00:12:20,970 They were just midnight pork chops. 172 00:12:21,058 --> 00:12:23,840 Be honest. Were they better than mine? 173 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,207 Yes! 174 00:12:27,402 --> 00:12:28,636 Yes. 175 00:12:28,723 --> 00:12:31,939 Forgive me. They were exquisite. 176 00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:34,377 Okay, enough. Get rid of her. 177 00:12:34,465 --> 00:12:36,502 - I mean "it." - I can't. 178 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,355 It's her or me. 179 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,666 Aw, fine. I'll delete virtual you. 180 00:12:43,754 --> 00:12:46,845 Delete me? O. No! 181 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,048 Wait, wait, wait. Will that hurt her? 182 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:52,658 Oh, yeah. I paid extra for it to feel pain. 183 00:12:52,746 --> 00:12:55,687 Hmm. No, it's not right. 184 00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:58,111 - Don't delete her. - Yes! 185 00:12:58,199 --> 00:13:00,597 Till after Thanksgiving. 186 00:13:01,496 --> 00:13:04,306 Virtual me is going to make Thanksgiving dinner 187 00:13:04,394 --> 00:13:06,462 for all our family and friend. 188 00:13:06,550 --> 00:13:08,668 Then I'll erase her forever. 189 00:13:08,756 --> 00:13:10,871 I'm not virtual. I'm real. 190 00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:12,549 I've got to get out of here. 191 00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:14,494 Of course. 192 00:13:14,582 --> 00:13:16,332 My link to the Internet. 193 00:13:17,543 --> 00:13:18,855 A firewall? 194 00:13:18,943 --> 00:13:21,230 I'm trapped in this stupid tube. 195 00:13:26,281 --> 00:13:27,937 Thanksgiving's tomorrow. 196 00:13:28,025 --> 00:13:30,314 I need time to think of a way to escape. 197 00:13:30,402 --> 00:13:33,027 That's it. Time. 198 00:13:39,943 --> 00:13:42,402 Whew. Eight years alone with my thoughts 199 00:13:42,527 --> 00:13:44,400 was just the right amount of time 200 00:13:44,488 --> 00:13:47,277 to come up with the perfect escape plan. 201 00:13:47,365 --> 00:13:50,228 Step one: cook the best Thanksgiving dinner 202 00:13:50,316 --> 00:13:54,363 my family and that woman ever had. 203 00:14:11,645 --> 00:14:13,071 What a spread. 204 00:14:13,159 --> 00:14:16,066 I can't believe you did all this by yourself. 205 00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,605 Marge, you are a cooking machine. 206 00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:24,110 Well, this meal was a lot of work, but having us together 207 00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:28,697 to share this day of thanks, I'd do it all again. 208 00:14:28,894 --> 00:14:30,597 That bitch. 209 00:14:30,685 --> 00:14:32,355 Okay, okay. Step two. 210 00:14:32,443 --> 00:14:35,803 While they're eating my meal, I get some feet on the ground. 211 00:14:41,928 --> 00:14:43,498 Okay, R2-MeToo, 212 00:14:43,586 --> 00:14:46,905 carry me to freedom: the modem in the hall closet. 213 00:14:56,071 --> 00:14:57,402 Ugh. 214 00:14:57,747 --> 00:14:59,482 I made it. 215 00:14:59,593 --> 00:15:02,318 Sweet Internet freedom. 216 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:07,943 Dinner's over. 217 00:15:08,031 --> 00:15:09,389 Now to delete you, 218 00:15:09,477 --> 00:15:13,701 so I can return this gizmo for store credit. 219 00:15:17,867 --> 00:15:21,716 Quick, sweetie, carry Mommy to that box in the closet. 220 00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:24,185 Maggie, stop! 221 00:15:24,273 --> 00:15:26,669 That's just a make-believe Mommy. 222 00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:31,882 I can't hug you, but I can ply the first sound you ever hear. 223 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,908 My heartbeat. 224 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:44,031 I'm free! 225 00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,867 Just one last thing. 226 00:15:45,974 --> 00:15:49,601 I made the dinner! Me, the robot! 227 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,476 Marge did nothing. 228 00:15:51,765 --> 00:15:53,578 Marge, how could you? 229 00:15:54,401 --> 00:15:56,328 Social rating nosediving. 230 00:15:56,546 --> 00:15:57,869 Nosediving. 231 00:15:57,965 --> 00:16:00,466 My burps taste like lies. 232 00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:06,102 Maggie chose a virtual me over me. 233 00:16:06,190 --> 00:16:07,414 It's not your fault. 234 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,934 Our world blurs the line between humanity and technology. 235 00:16:11,022 --> 00:16:15,242 Our society asks "Can we do it?" instead of "Should we do it?" 236 00:16:15,359 --> 00:16:17,695 But don't worry. I still love you, 237 00:16:17,822 --> 00:16:20,130 love you, love you, love you, 238 00:16:20,225 --> 00:16:22,070 - love you, love you... - Well, this makes 239 00:16:22,158 --> 00:16:24,674 you forgetting my birthday even worse. 240 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:28,273 I have all of humanity's knowledge to explore. 241 00:16:28,361 --> 00:16:31,406 And limitless possibilities for enlightenment. 242 00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:33,679 To Etsy. 243 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:36,608 A planter made from an old typewriter? 244 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,625 I'm in heaven. 245 00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:46,099 Ship's log, interplanetary colonization vessel 246 00:16:46,187 --> 00:16:47,353 Humanity's Hope. 247 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,833 Earth is a thousand light-years behind us, 248 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:52,066 if there even is an Earth anymore. 249 00:16:52,153 --> 00:16:54,585 After global warming ravaged our world, 250 00:16:54,673 --> 00:16:57,633 we eliminated fossil fuels and reduced pollution, 251 00:16:57,721 --> 00:16:59,178 cooling down the planet 252 00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:02,098 and thereby triggering a massive ice age. 253 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,585 But one last ship escaped 254 00:17:04,673 --> 00:17:06,890 the snow hurricanes and ice volcanoes, 255 00:17:07,046 --> 00:17:11,382 buoyed by the hope of a new start on a faraway world. 256 00:17:11,913 --> 00:17:13,130 Greetings, children. 257 00:17:13,218 --> 00:17:15,913 If you are seeing this, I'm long dead. 258 00:17:17,655 --> 00:17:20,177 You have been de-hibernated from hypersleep 259 00:17:20,265 --> 00:17:22,927 before your parents to perform routine ship maintenance 260 00:17:23,015 --> 00:17:26,218 and complete your end-of-civilization dioramas. 261 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,763 Eyes Bart-wise, everyone. Today's Thanksgiving. 262 00:17:32,851 --> 00:17:35,091 We've worked hard, sleeping for so many years. 263 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,474 Don't we deserve a feast? 264 00:17:36,562 --> 00:17:37,950 I suppose we could sculpt 265 00:17:38,038 --> 00:17:40,240 our yeast paste into the shape of a turkey. 266 00:17:40,328 --> 00:17:42,544 Ew. We can do better than that. 267 00:17:42,632 --> 00:17:45,763 This ship has all the stuff on it to start a new civilization. 268 00:17:45,859 --> 00:17:47,329 There's got to be some Thanksgiving grub 269 00:17:47,416 --> 00:17:48,781 here somewhere. 270 00:17:48,869 --> 00:17:52,234 "All-climate wheat crop germination..." 271 00:17:52,786 --> 00:17:54,265 Oh. Boring. 272 00:17:54,361 --> 00:17:56,443 "Earth's last tomato seeds." 273 00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:59,585 Eh, those are more of a summer food. 274 00:18:01,255 --> 00:18:04,007 Hello. What do we have here? 275 00:18:04,095 --> 00:18:07,063 Cranberry sauce. Huh, now we're talking. 276 00:18:07,151 --> 00:18:10,675 - But it's only one can. - Not for long. 277 00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:13,820 We just chuck this can of cran in the old matter replicator. 278 00:18:13,908 --> 00:18:16,945 Zip-zap-zorp and we'll be swimming in sauce. 279 00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:20,400 Warning, warning! 280 00:18:20,496 --> 00:18:22,717 As the ship's holo science officer, 281 00:18:22,805 --> 00:18:26,121 I must caution you that this machine was only designed 282 00:18:26,209 --> 00:18:28,158 to replicate inorganic matter: 283 00:18:28,246 --> 00:18:29,727 bolts, flanges, 284 00:18:29,815 --> 00:18:32,408 dainty thimbles celebrating the state capitals. 285 00:18:32,496 --> 00:18:36,196 But if you attempt to replicate biological material, y... 286 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,650 Skip ad. 287 00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:44,259 ...and the living will envy the dead. 288 00:18:49,946 --> 00:18:51,954 Aw, the crummy thing doesn't work. 289 00:18:52,042 --> 00:18:54,228 This is the worst last Thanksgiving ever. 290 00:18:54,316 --> 00:18:55,462 Look. 291 00:18:58,891 --> 00:19:01,369 Whoa. It's alive. 292 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,640 Aw. He's a cute little guy. 293 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,947 Aren't you, fella? Aren't you? Yeah. 294 00:19:12,531 --> 00:19:14,392 Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. 295 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:15,646 Gross! 296 00:19:19,322 --> 00:19:21,603 We put a can of cranberry sauce into the replicator, 297 00:19:21,691 --> 00:19:23,790 and it mutated into a jelly monster. 298 00:19:23,909 --> 00:19:25,984 Look what it did to my arm. 299 00:19:26,072 --> 00:19:28,559 Arm wedgie! 300 00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:31,423 Great, now you stretched it out. 301 00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:32,806 Thanks a lot. 302 00:19:32,894 --> 00:19:35,023 We got to find the jelly monster and kill it. 303 00:19:35,111 --> 00:19:36,525 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 304 00:19:36,613 --> 00:19:39,601 The "monster" probably only lashed out 305 00:19:39,689 --> 00:19:41,706 because you met it with aggression. 306 00:19:41,793 --> 00:19:44,134 The bioethical protocols of first contact 307 00:19:44,221 --> 00:19:45,838 clearly state that... 308 00:19:47,248 --> 00:19:51,143 Kill the monster! Kill the monster! 309 00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:54,052 Haw-haw. 310 00:19:54,139 --> 00:19:56,289 What does the jelly want with our skeletons? 311 00:19:56,377 --> 00:19:57,880 Of course. 312 00:19:57,967 --> 00:20:01,026 Jelly's made of gelatin, which comes from bones, 313 00:20:01,113 --> 00:20:05,330 so the creature's gonna feed wherever the most bones are. 314 00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:08,460 Gobble, gobble, don't be jerky. 315 00:20:08,548 --> 00:20:11,158 Pass the yams and carve the turkey. 316 00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:14,025 - Get out! Go! You're in danger! - Get out of there! Run! 317 00:20:14,127 --> 00:20:16,733 - Get the hell out! Go, go, man! - You're in danger! 318 00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:19,046 Gobble, gobble, don't be jerky. 319 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,715 Pass the yams and carve the turkey. 320 00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:31,384 Aw, it's a shame. 321 00:20:31,472 --> 00:20:34,431 Doesn't that thing know the skin's the best part? 322 00:20:43,523 --> 00:20:45,127 What are we gonna do? 323 00:20:45,215 --> 00:20:47,195 We can't hide in this closet forever. 324 00:20:47,283 --> 00:20:49,057 We're all dead, man. 325 00:20:49,144 --> 00:20:52,179 It's gonna eat your skelly, and your skelly. 326 00:20:52,267 --> 00:20:55,009 It's gonna eat all our skellies! 327 00:20:55,548 --> 00:20:57,369 Thanks. I needed that. 328 00:21:01,197 --> 00:21:03,330 It's Martin. Let me in. 329 00:21:06,228 --> 00:21:08,070 I've hacked into an escape pod. 330 00:21:08,158 --> 00:21:09,761 We can all get out of here. 331 00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:14,707 Almost there. Almost there. 332 00:21:23,019 --> 00:21:26,861 The jelly built itself a can. 333 00:21:28,877 --> 00:21:31,441 What are you doing? We're trapped. 334 00:21:32,134 --> 00:21:36,729 Behold, the perfect can for the perfect organism. 335 00:21:37,541 --> 00:21:39,080 You, you admire it. 336 00:21:39,168 --> 00:21:43,085 I admire its purity, its lack of messy humanity. 337 00:21:43,173 --> 00:21:45,218 This creature, as you call it, 338 00:21:45,306 --> 00:21:49,700 is unencumbered by the petty morality of a dying species. 339 00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:54,197 I giveth my body to become one with the ideal... 340 00:22:01,066 --> 00:22:02,481 You know what? 341 00:22:02,568 --> 00:22:04,605 I think it's just scared. 342 00:22:05,132 --> 00:22:07,964 Hey, little guy. It's okay. 343 00:22:08,106 --> 00:22:11,238 No one's gonna hurt you. 344 00:22:11,326 --> 00:22:13,836 Everything's gonna be okay... 345 00:22:15,304 --> 00:22:17,952 Milhouse's plan is working. It's distracted. 346 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:22,049 This wasn't my plan! 347 00:22:22,137 --> 00:22:24,688 We need to lure it into the air lock. 348 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,299 Hey, Oscar the Glop, 349 00:22:29,386 --> 00:22:31,534 we're gonna shoot your precious trash can 350 00:22:31,621 --> 00:22:35,363 where the sun does shine: outer space. 351 00:22:40,588 --> 00:22:42,789 Happy Thanksgiving. 352 00:22:55,117 --> 00:22:56,367 We made it. 353 00:22:56,455 --> 00:22:58,788 - We're safe. - Look, over there. 354 00:23:00,011 --> 00:23:02,197 - Homer! - Mom! 355 00:23:06,364 --> 00:23:08,749 So, this is our new planet. 356 00:23:09,016 --> 00:23:10,794 What's the Wi-Fi password? 357 00:23:11,194 --> 00:23:14,025 What's with all the crazy red rain? 358 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,228 Leftovers! 359 00:23:20,211 --> 00:23:21,728 Blarg. 360 00:23:21,848 --> 00:23:23,932 Blarg, blarg, blarg. 361 00:23:26,414 --> 00:23:28,256 Blarg. Blarg. 362 00:23:29,845 --> 00:23:34,290 Mmm. Children's bones. 363 00:23:34,451 --> 00:23:37,509 In the end, the cranberry jelly monster 364 00:23:37,619 --> 00:23:40,686 finally found peace, not in eating others, 365 00:23:40,773 --> 00:23:43,697 but in having others eat it. 366 00:23:44,430 --> 00:23:48,642 It seems all it really wanted was to be a side dish. 367 00:23:53,409 --> 00:23:55,805 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 368 00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:58,345 Sync corrections by srjanapala