1 00:00:01,030 --> 00:00:05,619 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:09,079 _ 3 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:12,379 ♪ Okily-dokily, okily-dokily ♪ 4 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,379 ♪ Come meet Ned Flanders ♪ 5 00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:16,640 ♪ And his two boys Rod and Todd ♪ 6 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:19,679 ♪ He's friends with God and has a ripped bod ♪ 7 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,109 ♪ Diddly ♪ 8 00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:24,760 ♪ Doodily, diddly ♪ 9 00:00:24,770 --> 00:00:27,519 ♪ Doodily ♪ 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,980 - _ - ♪ Diddly... ♪ 11 00:00:32,730 --> 00:00:36,578 ♪ Doodily ♪ 12 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:39,199 ♪ Diddly, doodily, diddly... ♪ 13 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,519 No couch, boys. I gave it to the poor. 14 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,251 - Yay! - Yay! 15 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,289 - _ - ♪ A-diddly-doodily ♪ 16 00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:47,006 ♪ Diddly-doodily. ♪ 17 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,079 Neddy? Neddy. 18 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,419 Oh, Maude, you've come back. 19 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,999 Completely clothed and untouchable. 20 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,149 This is the sexiest dream I've ever had. 21 00:00:58,150 --> 00:00:59,183 Wait, Maudie. 22 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,970 Just one little kiss. 23 00:01:05,820 --> 00:01:07,479 All tongue, no lips. 24 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:08,770 Just like Maude. 25 00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:12,039 Daddy, why are you crying? 26 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,119 Oh, just watering the old lip lawn. 27 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,649 I had a dream about your mom. 28 00:01:15,650 --> 00:01:17,036 Don't you ever dream about her? 29 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,544 Faster, Mommy, faster. 30 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,979 Aah! 31 00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:29,080 Ow! 32 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,289 What's wrong, Todd? 33 00:01:34,290 --> 00:01:37,300 I can never unsee that. 34 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,839 It's okay, son. Just a bad dream. 35 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,199 Want some lukewarm water? 36 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,982 Daddy, I can't remember what Mommy looks like. 37 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,289 I think I might have a video or two of your mother. 38 00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:51,403 What's wrong? 39 00:01:54,670 --> 00:01:57,492 I'm doing Mommy's old skin routine. 40 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,939 Now, that's the healthy way to grieve. 41 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,339 _ 42 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,249 I'm scared. 43 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:13,175 Well, I have faith in you. 44 00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,439 Who are you people, 45 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,262 and what have you done with my family? 46 00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:19,049 Answer me! 47 00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:22,179 Oh, Dad, every time we make you shovel the driveway, 48 00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:24,419 you wind up someplace crazy. 49 00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:26,179 Won't you join us for dinner? 50 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:27,689 He sure will. 51 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,680 I'll pick him up tomorrow. 52 00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:34,199 Mommy was so nice. 53 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,199 And she still is, Roddily Doddily. 54 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,959 How do you know? Have you heard from her? 55 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,679 Oh, uh, n-no, sir. 56 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,540 But, uh, faith is believing in something without proof. 57 00:02:43,550 --> 00:02:45,859 Uh, you can't see my lip below my mustache, 58 00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:48,399 - but you know it's there. - Can I see it? 59 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,419 No. 60 00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,470 My math teacher said 61 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,169 believing in something without proof is crazy. 62 00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:56,779 You think the coat of many colors was crazy? 63 00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:59,049 Noah's ark and the Holy Ghost, crazy? 64 00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:02,641 Don't tell me you're doubting Balaam's talking ass. 65 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:08,179 Mommy, if you still remember me, give me a sign. 66 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:09,819 This is Homer Simpson auditioning 67 00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:12,479 for the air guitar championship of the world. 68 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,779 I'm taking you down, Bjorn Turoque. 69 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,649 ♪ Praise God from whom ♪ 70 00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:27,819 ♪ All blessings flow ♪ 71 00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:29,099 ♪ Praise God ♪ 72 00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:34,409 ♪ It's almost time to go ♪ 73 00:03:34,410 --> 00:03:37,119 ♪ This boring sermon ♪ 74 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,999 ♪ Must end soon ♪ 75 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,848 ♪ Arena football's ♪ 76 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:47,477 ♪ On at noon. ♪ 77 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,799 - _ - Ooh! 78 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,731 Whoo-hoo! 79 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:55,149 And for that simple reason, we are right 80 00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:59,059 and Episcopalians are wrong, wrong, wrong. 81 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:00,239 Now I'd like to invite 82 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,569 our littlest parishioners to the front. 83 00:04:02,570 --> 00:04:05,578 Gertie, a little traveling music, please? 84 00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:13,559 Soon as we can, we're replacing her with Spotify. 85 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,330 I'm taking middle C. 86 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,969 So, tell me, young Christians, 87 00:04:18,970 --> 00:04:21,319 if you could speak to Baby Jesus, 88 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,609 what would you say? 89 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,509 I'd say thank you for being born, 90 00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:26,390 'cause that gave us Christmas. 91 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,892 Aw! 92 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,429 Mmm, I'm killing it. 93 00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:31,229 Ralph, what would you say? 94 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,339 I'd say, "Baby Jesus, 95 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,983 thank you for dying for our shins." 96 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,323 And you, Todd? What would you say? 97 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,219 I lost my voice from crying. 98 00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:51,779 Oh, come on, young man. 99 00:04:51,780 --> 00:04:53,329 You're my closer. 100 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:59,199 What would you say to Jesus? 101 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,899 I'd say... 102 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,540 thanks for nothing! 103 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:04,899 My mommy's dead and she's never coming back, 104 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:07,014 and I don't believe in God anymore. 105 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,800 No. No! 106 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,239 Thank God these collection baskets were empty. 107 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,730 You're welcome. 108 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:28,579 ♪ A mighty problem is our Todd ♪ 109 00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:31,100 ♪ His faith in God ♪ 110 00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:34,659 ♪ Is failing ♪ 111 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:40,039 ♪ Homer accidentally killed his mom ♪ 112 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:46,380 ♪ He knocked her off a railing. ♪ 113 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:54,179 Now, son, let me put this gently. 114 00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:56,059 We're all going to hell! 115 00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:59,359 You opened a doorway to disbelief in God's own house! 116 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,699 Why does God need so many houses? 117 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,439 Couldn't some go to poor people? 118 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,620 You just stop right there, boy. 119 00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:06,839 You do not question 120 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,439 God's real estate holdings and tax-free status. 121 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,330 I have to let off a little steam. 122 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:15,626 Shucks! Shucks! Shucks! 123 00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:19,580 _ 124 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,090 That's it. Young man, I am FaceTiming the reverend. 125 00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:25,139 Reverend, 126 00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:26,925 I know you hate it when I bother you. 127 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,939 Aah! 128 00:06:30,940 --> 00:06:32,339 It's okay. It's okay. 129 00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:34,685 I'm at my daughter's ballet recital. 130 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:35,689 Oh, is she good? 131 00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:38,439 Seriously, are any of them good? 132 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,519 Reverend, like the pharaoh's army in the Red Sea, 133 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,719 I'm in over my head. 134 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,890 My heathen son needs you right now. 135 00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,279 Oh, sorry, got to go. 136 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,139 I have to read the last rites... 137 00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,769 for the art of ballet. 138 00:06:51,770 --> 00:06:54,539 Lord, please punish my boy thoroughly 139 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:57,793 so he may once again believe in thine divine mercy. 140 00:06:57,794 --> 00:07:01,479 - Daddy, I have a problem. - Oh, you, too? 141 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,049 I accidentally watched a 30 Rock by mistake. 142 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,419 Oh! Oh, my good, good boy. 143 00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,679 - Mmm. - So it's okay to watch? 144 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,516 Just Kenneth. Just Kenneth. Mmm. 145 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,940 Good morning, Rod. Todd. God. 146 00:07:18,950 --> 00:07:20,279 - Good morning. - Morning. 147 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,239 Let us, uh, stiffly resume our nice, regular routine. 148 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,239 Dear Lord, we thank you for this breakfast, 149 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,689 each generic brand Circle-O a symbol of God's unending love. 150 00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:30,560 - Amen. - Amen. 151 00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:31,868 Todd? 152 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,622 Son? Can I just get an amen? 153 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,859 A prayer without an amen 154 00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:39,899 is like a Tootsie Pop without a center. 155 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,159 Oh, I apologize for thinking the word "tootsie." 156 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,299 But there must be a way 157 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,460 to scare religion back into my son. 158 00:07:45,470 --> 00:07:48,399 Isn't there some hell on earth I could briefly place him in? 159 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,719 Let me in, boy! 160 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,303 The school bus will be here any minute! 161 00:07:52,304 --> 00:07:55,640 To find your clothes, just solve this series of clues: 162 00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:57,810 what has bark but no bite? 163 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,179 Um, the dog? 164 00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,935 Wrong. A tree. 165 00:08:00,936 --> 00:08:03,779 Here's another. If a plane crashes 166 00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:05,979 on the border of North and South Dakota, 167 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,695 where do you bury the survivors? 168 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,863 Uh, Minnesota. 169 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,479 Wrong. 170 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,201 You don't bury the survivors. They're survivors! 171 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:15,320 I don't understand, but I'll bury you. 172 00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:17,379 Tell you what. I'll give you your pants back 173 00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:19,949 - if you can answer this last one. - Uh-huh. 174 00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:22,109 - What has two hairs on top... - Right. 175 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,628 - ... is somebody's dad... - Somebody's dad, yes. 176 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,381 ... and starting right now he's getting quite mad? 177 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:30,385 I don't know, but just give me my pants, boy! 178 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,549 Can we take pictures? 179 00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,559 Wait, you see that, too? 180 00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:41,779 That Simpson house 181 00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,400 will put the fear of God in him. 182 00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,650 Give me your pants. 183 00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:49,179 Todd Flanders, I cast thee out. 184 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,749 ♪ His little mind ♪ 185 00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:54,299 ♪ Is filled with doubt ♪ 186 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:59,409 ♪ So now we have to cast him out ♪ 187 00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:04,085 ♪ You'll learn the Lord is sweet ♪ 188 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:09,800 ♪ On his journey of 40 feet. ♪ 189 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,540 Daddy, do you love me more now? 190 00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:20,929 Just by asking, 191 00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:22,930 you have committed the sin of pride. 192 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,839 Yes, Ned, yes. 193 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,567 We'll keep him here till tomorrow. 194 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,460 Yes, I'll read him a good bedtime story. 195 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,339 Right, right. No wizards. 196 00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:34,799 No pagans. No wild things. 197 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,989 How about The Very Hungry Caterpillar? 198 00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:38,661 No, that celebrates gluttony. 199 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,329 Clifford the Big Red Dog? 200 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,791 Clifford the satanic abomination. 201 00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:43,874 Everyone Poops? 202 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,829 Not me. 203 00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:47,959 Todd. Psst! Todd. 204 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,620 I know what it's like to leave the faith of your family. 205 00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:52,169 Thank you so much, Lisa. 206 00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:54,179 At last, someone gets it. 207 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,549 But have I got a god for you. 208 00:09:57,550 --> 00:10:00,119 Consider the Buddha. He brings peace from within. 209 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,079 He avoids the pitfalls of ego, 210 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,159 he loves yoga and Yoda, 211 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,890 and he's lost weight. 212 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,619 What happens when you die? 213 00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,640 You get reincarnated as a human 214 00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,640 or an animal or a ghost. 215 00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:15,739 Pass. Buddha's no god, and neither is God. 216 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,399 Don't worry, I'll get him. 217 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,828 By the way, what did you reincarnate David Bowie as? 218 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,997 Help me, love. It's Bowie. 219 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:26,329 I've been meditating too much. 220 00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:28,679 Where's Todd? 221 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:29,689 It was horrible. 222 00:10:29,690 --> 00:10:31,659 I woke up, and he'd cleaned my room. 223 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:33,466 What kind of psycho does that? 224 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,079 Hi, Grampa Simpson. 225 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,519 You're talking to me directly? 226 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,799 Even my Alexa won't do that. 227 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:46,312 Being with him has made me so tired. 228 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,639 Hey, Marge, 229 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:48,739 you may have noticed 230 00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:51,359 I took a shower earlier this week. 231 00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:54,699 I can't. I can't. 232 00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,320 Not with Todd in the house. 233 00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:58,799 Oh, we've had kids in the house for ten years. 234 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,529 Not that one. He's used to silence. 235 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,959 - He'll hear us. - No, he won't. 236 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,299 Yes, I will! 237 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,834 Oof! Got to get rid of that kid. 238 00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,119 Can it be? 239 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,420 Oh, my goodness! 240 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,249 The face of our Lord and Savior 241 00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:14,979 in a humble piece of toast? 242 00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:17,343 Clearly, no human could have made this. 243 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,669 Huh? 244 00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:20,039 And the Lord said, 245 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,859 "Take this and eat, for I am the toast of the town." 246 00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:25,619 - You drew that on. - No, no. 247 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,853 God drew it on. Look, he signed it. 248 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,772 "Jebus." See? 249 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,691 Why would God make toast that looked like Jesus? 250 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,579 'Cause parents are always showing off pictures 251 00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:37,189 of their kids? 252 00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:39,379 So much innocent bread died 253 00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:40,879 for my sins. 254 00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:44,703 So innocent. 255 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,599 ♪ What is good ♪ 256 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,624 ♪ And what is sin ♪ 257 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:54,459 ♪ Bart wants to get rid of him. ♪ 258 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,949 Yo, this is Todd. 259 00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:58,509 I have to share my room until he believes in God again. 260 00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,399 You don't believe in God? Well, that's crazy. 261 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,129 Who else but an all-loving, omnipotent being 262 00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:07,379 could create beautiful wedgies and purple nurples? 263 00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:08,539 Not so fast. 264 00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:10,459 What if I'm the only being in the universe, 265 00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,499 and you're all my mental projections? 266 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,191 Project this! 267 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:17,109 I must have wanted this to happen! 268 00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:19,299 So now that you see how bad kids turn out, 269 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,782 you want to go home, right? 270 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:23,359 Stop using us as examples! 271 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:24,419 I believe your friends 272 00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:26,149 - are all going to Hell. - Whoa! 273 00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:27,162 - Yeah! - Cool! 274 00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,829 I hear you! 275 00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:36,999 What doesn't that little twerp hear? 276 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,279 I don't know, but I heard that. 277 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,619 Okay. He can't hear us now. 278 00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:44,729 Yes, I can. 279 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,480 You're unbuttoning your shirt, Mr. Simpson. 280 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:50,979 - _ - What does that paper say? 281 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,559 Oh. Hi, Todd. 282 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,179 Still seeking enlightenment? 283 00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:58,729 I told you, not now. 284 00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,980 Maybe I'll reconsider your stupid beliefs 285 00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,519 when I come back as a worm. 286 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,159 In Buddhism, that's halfway to "yes"! 287 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,325 Look, Todd, you don't have to believe. 288 00:13:07,326 --> 00:13:10,959 In church, just smile and nod, but be sleeping on the inside. 289 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,414 That works at work, too. 290 00:13:12,415 --> 00:13:14,160 But I really don't believe. 291 00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:17,709 I'm sad because my mommy's gone and never coming back. 292 00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:19,257 You know how that feels? 293 00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:20,640 Oh, do I. 294 00:13:20,650 --> 00:13:22,427 Oh, no, don't relive it. Don't! 295 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,269 You don't come home for dinner 296 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,379 till 10:00 at night. 297 00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:28,279 You never cook anything worth eating. 298 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,267 Well, who wants to cook for a failure? 299 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,399 Good God, woman, why did you marry me? 300 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,079 To piss off my mother, and it worked! 301 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,499 Tell the kid I love him, but I'm as bad at goodbyes 302 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,779 as I am at picking husbands. 303 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,939 My mom is gone. 304 00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:47,419 And so is my ice cream. 305 00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:50,280 And so is my hair! 306 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:55,043 Moe, I got to get drunk. And fast. 307 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,339 I'll take one, too. 308 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,382 What the... ?! 309 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,467 I'm losing everything. Just give me a drink! 310 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,839 I'm sorry, Flanders. I can't pour you a drink. 311 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,598 You're too good. It's just, it's not something I can do. 312 00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:10,320 Please. I'm begging you. 313 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,929 Yeah, that's $24. 314 00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:17,719 ♪ Ned Flanders is drinking today ♪ 315 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:21,689 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 316 00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:26,819 ♪ His son Todd has gone astray ♪ 317 00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:31,499 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 318 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:35,374 ♪ Raise your mug and drink it down ♪ 319 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:40,419 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 320 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:43,019 ♪ In the worst bar ♪ 321 00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:45,160 ♪ In this town ♪ 322 00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:50,120 ♪ Allelujah. ♪ 323 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,139 You know, Homer, I always thought 324 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:54,799 you proved the existence of God. 325 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,644 I mean, you fall off cliffs, and you're fit as a fiddle. 326 00:14:57,645 --> 00:14:58,999 Well, ain't that a diddle! 327 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:02,379 Diddly, diddly. 328 00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:04,279 - Diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle. - Diddly, diddly. 329 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,569 Whoa! 330 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,060 So this is what it's like 331 00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:11,799 to look down on someone. 332 00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:14,799 You know what, Ned? There may... 333 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,460 there may not be a heaven, 334 00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:19,319 but getting drunk with you ain't hell. 335 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,380 Oh, you're great. 336 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,429 This is the beginning of a beautiful... 337 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,849 You killed them! 338 00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:31,779 This is the worst Uber ride ever! 339 00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:33,390 You're getting four stars. 340 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:40,470 No... ! 341 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,039 _ 342 00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:51,030 _ 343 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,452 _ 344 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,679 Welcome to Heaven. 345 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,479 Oh, Lord. It's just as beautiful as I pictured it. 346 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,469 This is your version, Ned. 347 00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,424 Homer gets his, too. 348 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,499 So, not like I'm feeling I put in way too much work, 349 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,199 but Homer got in, too? 350 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,239 Well, a couple of years ago, sloth became a virtue. 351 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,339 I don't really understand it. 352 00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,109 You'd have to talk to my kid. 353 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:22,519 He's 33 and still lives at home. 354 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,769 I've been through some stuff, man. 355 00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:26,985 Abe Lincoln! 356 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,309 Did you know the picture 357 00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:31,879 about my life is Spielberg's biggest movie? 358 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,479 No! What about Jaws and E.T., and all the Jurassic... ? 359 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,739 Well, how did I do in the awards? 360 00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:40,079 - You were beaten by Argo. - Argo?! 361 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:44,079 That was the worst experience I ever had in a theater. 362 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,921 You have other people to see. 363 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,249 - Wear these passes. - Visitors? 364 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:49,419 Hmm, that's odd. 365 00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:51,969 It must mean that your bodies aren't dead yet. 366 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,299 ♪ We need you now ♪ 367 00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:58,260 ♪ O God on high ♪ 368 00:16:58,270 --> 00:17:04,849 ♪ So stupid Flanders and Homer don't die. ♪ 369 00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:08,059 Ned Flanders, I swear to you I will use every ounce of skill 370 00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,487 in my body to bring you back to life. 371 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,519 What about Homer? 372 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,829 Mm, qué será, será. 373 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,809 Oh, my. They're holding a vigil. 374 00:17:27,810 --> 00:17:30,959 Look how many, many lives Dad touched. 375 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,519 That's Flanders' vigil. 376 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,879 Dad's is over there. 377 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,560 Vigils are a surprisingly large part of this job. 378 00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:39,679 Oh, yeah! So sad! 379 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,719 Dad's an acquired taste, Lis, 380 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,059 like Hawaiian pizza. 381 00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:46,259 Dad never judged a pizza by where it came from. 382 00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:49,189 He just ate it. 383 00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:51,239 God, this is just you and me, 384 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,519 so I'm gonna tell you a secret. 385 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,179 I love my dad, so please don't take him. 386 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,899 Bart, what are you praying for? 387 00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,480 New bike. 388 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:04,460 Are you sure you don't want to pray for your dad? 389 00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:05,909 I can't pray. 390 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,239 I don't think anyone's listening anymore. 391 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,259 Oh, sweetie, prayer doesn't have to be to God. 392 00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:13,939 It can also just be an honest conversation 393 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,499 we have with ourselves. 394 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,888 Just do what your heart tells you. 395 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:21,719 Oh, I'm not really sure what's happening, 396 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:25,019 but I'm really sad, and I need help. 397 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:29,399 ♪ Rejoice, rejoice ♪ 398 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,329 ♪ O Springfield town ♪ 399 00:18:33,330 --> 00:18:36,239 ♪ 'Cause what goes up ♪ 400 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,619 ♪ Must come down. ♪ 401 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,100 I'm winning every bet! 402 00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,779 And there's no stupid Fox halftime show. 403 00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:52,579 Could Heaven be any better? 404 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:57,959 I agree. This is everything I could possibly dream of. 405 00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,141 Todd is praying. He's praying for me. 406 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,519 And it's working! 407 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,399 I'm returning to my family! 408 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,690 Bye, Homer. 409 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,119 - Homer? - Mom? 410 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,519 I never got a chance to say goodbye, 411 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,979 but now I can. 412 00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:20,099 Remember, I'm not a hugger. 413 00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,200 Oh, right. Sorry. 414 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,699 You never need to apologize to me. 415 00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,519 In my eyes, you're perfect. 416 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,519 Ah, we're in Heaven. 417 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,039 Come here, you. 418 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,740 Oh, my God, this is all I ever wanted! 419 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,880 Aw, damn it! 420 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,299 Hallelujah! I'm alive and back 421 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,859 in this big beautiful world. 422 00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:43,299 I could kiss the first thing I see. 423 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:45,299 Ah. Promise is a promise. 424 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:46,779 - Homie! - Dad! 425 00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,529 - Doughboy! - Yay! 426 00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:51,769 Daddy, you came back! I believe again! 427 00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:54,059 Two lives saved by prayer. 428 00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:55,599 And modern medicine. 429 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,759 This is why I became a doctor. 430 00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,939 Because you both owe me $12,000. 431 00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:05,359 No, no, no, no. 432 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,299 Nirvana is for closers, 433 00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:08,659 and you couldn't close the deal. 434 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:10,629 - But-but... - But-but-but-but-but nothing! 435 00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:13,479 You couldn't even close Todd frickin' Flanders! 436 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,172 That kid would follow a butterfly. 437 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,091 Just give me one more chance. 438 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:20,839 Do you think I got to be Buddha by being patient?! 439 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,119 Check this out. I got you Ralph Wiggum. 440 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:25,279 Ralph Wiggum? 441 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,339 What am I gonna do with Ralph Wiggum? 442 00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:29,529 Everything is nothing! 443 00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:33,019 Kid, you just blew my mind. 444 00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:38,020 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 445 00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:43,367 Good night, Roddy. 446 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,119 Ha! 447 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:55,499 ♪ Praise God from whom all blessings flow ♪ 448 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:56,799 ♪ Praise God ♪ 449 00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:02,079 ♪ It's almost time to go ♪ 450 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:08,620 ♪ Todd has found just what he seeks ♪ 451 00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:15,280 ♪ New episode in two weeks. ♪