1 00:00:02,391 --> 00:00:03,961 Whoa, look out. 2 00:00:07,261 --> 00:00:09,461 Hey, where's our sailboat? 3 00:00:09,501 --> 00:00:12,471 Oh. It really tied the room together. 4 00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:15,901 Yes. That painting was great. 5 00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:17,971 Derivative, amateur seascape. 6 00:00:18,011 --> 00:00:21,241 Maybe another animated show stole it! 7 00:00:21,281 --> 00:00:23,781 We'll see about that! 8 00:00:25,011 --> 00:00:26,981 Or maybe I sold it on Craigslist. 9 00:00:27,011 --> 00:00:28,651 Both things are equally possible. 10 00:00:28,681 --> 00:00:30,051 This a TV show, 11 00:00:30,091 --> 00:00:32,891 or did I walk into a third grade shoebox diorama? 12 00:00:32,921 --> 00:00:34,521 Did you steal my painting? 13 00:00:40,231 --> 00:00:43,201 Out of the mouths of babes. 14 00:00:43,231 --> 00:00:46,671 ♪ We're in the cookies ♪ ♪ you hate to eat ♪ 15 00:00:46,701 --> 00:00:50,541 ♪ An unpleasant surprise ♪ ♪ when you trick-or-treat... ♪ 16 00:00:50,571 --> 00:00:52,071 Boo! Boo! 17 00:00:53,141 --> 00:00:54,541 Snacks should be bad for you! 18 00:01:08,391 --> 00:01:11,061 Ew, what smells like comic books and loneliness? 19 00:01:11,091 --> 00:01:14,101 Oh, uh, certainly not this cool cat. 20 00:01:14,131 --> 00:01:15,701 Nope. That was spot-on. 21 00:01:15,731 --> 00:01:17,271 But today I don't care. 22 00:01:17,301 --> 00:01:19,071 Look what I got! My painting! 23 00:01:19,101 --> 00:01:21,741 The pièce de résistance of my memorabilia collection! 24 00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:23,771 Not since I was the winning bidder 25 00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:26,311 on a Ziploc full of Jonathan Frakes' beard trimmings 26 00:01:26,341 --> 00:01:27,981 have I been so... Aw, dang it. 27 00:01:28,011 --> 00:01:30,481 Ooh! Gross! Raisin blood! 28 00:01:35,021 --> 00:01:37,491 Oh, I did it. 29 00:01:37,521 --> 00:01:38,951 Oh,. 30 00:01:45,791 --> 00:01:48,161 Bart and I haven't always been the best of friends. Aah! 31 00:01:48,201 --> 00:01:50,801 And we're here to tell you a story of a time 32 00:01:50,831 --> 00:01:52,111 when we really didn't get along. 33 00:01:53,131 --> 00:01:55,101 But we found our way! 34 00:01:55,141 --> 00:01:57,571 And we like each other better than ever! 35 00:01:57,611 --> 00:02:00,011 Way to spoil the ending, nerd-burger. 36 00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:02,911 Mmm, nerd-burger. 37 00:02:02,941 --> 00:02:06,011 It all began on the hottest summer on record. Aah! 38 00:02:06,051 --> 00:02:07,951 After years of pollution in Springfield Bay, 39 00:02:07,981 --> 00:02:10,191 I am honored to announce that these waters 40 00:02:10,221 --> 00:02:12,091 are now safe to swim in. 41 00:02:13,621 --> 00:02:17,431 Huzzah for a cleaner Springfield! 42 00:02:17,461 --> 00:02:19,031 Er, uh, it's not cleaner. 43 00:02:19,061 --> 00:02:21,201 We just lowered the safety standards. 44 00:02:22,661 --> 00:02:24,201 Yay! 45 00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:30,771 Okay, who's up for a day at the beach? 46 00:02:30,811 --> 00:02:33,641 I got all the beach I want with Anzio Beach Invasion. 47 00:02:36,081 --> 00:02:38,981 Pathetic! I was there, and it was nothing like that. 48 00:02:40,651 --> 00:02:41,681 I surrender! 49 00:02:43,321 --> 00:02:45,891 I'll go in first so they won't know it's a trap. 50 00:02:46,921 --> 00:02:48,221 Yoink. Yoink. 51 00:02:48,261 --> 00:02:49,821 Movado! 52 00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,971 Well, that is the most disgusting thing 53 00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,971 I've ever seen on a beach. 54 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,411 Kind of sad, really. 55 00:03:11,911 --> 00:03:13,211 A booger? 56 00:03:13,251 --> 00:03:16,921 Real mature, guys, real mature. 57 00:03:16,951 --> 00:03:18,221 A booger! 58 00:03:18,251 --> 00:03:21,721 A human booger, indeed. 59 00:03:21,761 --> 00:03:23,491 Dolphin. Weak. 60 00:03:23,521 --> 00:03:25,161 Skull. Cliché. 61 00:03:25,191 --> 00:03:27,331 "I'd rather be fishing." Not true. 62 00:03:27,361 --> 00:03:28,601 The bone? 63 00:03:29,901 --> 00:03:32,131 That's exactly what I'm bad to. 64 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,301 Hmm. 65 00:03:38,911 --> 00:03:42,711 ♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪ ♪ if we were older? ♪ 66 00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:46,281 ♪ Then we wouldn't have ♪ ♪ to wait so long ♪ 67 00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:50,221 ♪ And wouldn't it be nice ♪ ♪ to live together ♪ 68 00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:55,091 ♪ In the kind of world ♪ ♪ where we belong? ♪ 69 00:03:55,121 --> 00:03:59,361 ♪ You know it's gonna make it ♪ ♪ that much better... ♪ 70 00:03:59,391 --> 00:04:02,061 I'll take it! 71 00:04:11,071 --> 00:04:12,971 Geronimo! 72 00:04:16,441 --> 00:04:18,451 It said "water-resistant." 73 00:04:18,481 --> 00:04:20,211 It resisted nothing! 74 00:04:20,251 --> 00:04:21,751 Whee...! 75 00:04:21,781 --> 00:04:24,451 Whoa! Dope hat! 76 00:04:24,491 --> 00:04:27,091 And check out my gnarly new tat! 77 00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:29,921 No fair! I'm bad to the bone! 78 00:04:37,531 --> 00:04:39,301 Mmm! Okay, that's it. 79 00:04:39,331 --> 00:04:41,101 Marge, I'm watching sports! 80 00:04:41,141 --> 00:04:43,001 Really? What's the score? 81 00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:46,141 Uh, the, uh, Boobs are beating the Butts. 82 00:04:46,171 --> 00:04:49,241 I don't think that's the official terminology. 83 00:04:50,281 --> 00:04:51,811 Oh! 84 00:04:51,851 --> 00:04:55,151 Maybe you should watch this sport instead. 85 00:04:55,181 --> 00:04:56,351 Hmm. 86 00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:57,351 Mm-mm-mm. 87 00:04:57,391 --> 00:04:59,391 What do you know? 88 00:05:01,461 --> 00:05:03,161 Checkmate. Ha! 89 00:05:03,191 --> 00:05:06,031 It's the only mate I haven't buried. 90 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:09,261 Hey, Blobby Fischer, you're up. 91 00:05:09,301 --> 00:05:11,701 Do you even know the names of the pieces? 92 00:05:11,731 --> 00:05:13,801 Of course. There's the King, 93 00:05:13,831 --> 00:05:15,971 Mrs. King, the Lightbulb Babies, 94 00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:18,471 the Mini Ashtray, Slit Face. 95 00:05:18,511 --> 00:05:21,981 And who could forget Dr. Horse? 96 00:05:22,011 --> 00:05:23,481 Want to put a 20 on it? 97 00:05:23,511 --> 00:05:25,951 Make it a 22. 98 00:05:28,151 --> 00:05:30,021 Checkmate. 99 00:05:32,351 --> 00:05:36,461 Another victim of the Budapest Gambit. 100 00:05:36,491 --> 00:05:38,131 How can Dad play chess? 101 00:05:38,161 --> 00:05:40,731 He can't even remember the rules to Chutes and Ladders. 102 00:05:40,761 --> 00:05:43,501 I do so! You always think ladders go down. 103 00:05:43,531 --> 00:05:45,131 You can go down a ladder. 104 00:05:45,171 --> 00:05:47,231 Oh, God, not this again. 105 00:05:47,271 --> 00:05:49,694 I go down ladders all the time. Homer, when did you learn to play chess? 106 00:05:49,701 --> 00:05:52,471 The truth is, my dad and I used to play. 107 00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:07,821 He won't stop doing it. 108 00:06:07,861 --> 00:06:10,021 That's jive, man. 109 00:06:10,061 --> 00:06:12,991 But I don't want to talk about it. 110 00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:21,171 Whoa! Sweet lid, Lisa. 111 00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:23,041 Well, I'm bad to the bone. 112 00:06:23,071 --> 00:06:24,841 I see no proof of that. 113 00:06:24,871 --> 00:06:26,571 Oh, yeah? Just look at this. 114 00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:32,211 Haw-haw! Bart's getting beat up by a beach turkey! 115 00:06:38,721 --> 00:06:40,051 Hmm. 116 00:06:41,421 --> 00:06:42,961 Okay, a few ground rules. 117 00:06:42,991 --> 00:06:45,931 Everything I say, I want five of. 118 00:06:45,961 --> 00:06:47,931 Five Krusty Burgers... 119 00:06:47,961 --> 00:06:50,061 Got it. Five Krusty Burgers. 120 00:06:50,101 --> 00:06:52,071 No! I thought I was clear. 121 00:06:52,101 --> 00:06:54,071 25 Krusty Burgers! 122 00:06:54,101 --> 00:06:56,401 125 Krusty Burgers? 123 00:06:56,441 --> 00:06:58,941 No! That's not what I... Fine. 124 00:06:58,971 --> 00:07:02,481 Can I really toss this thing she's so crazy about? 125 00:07:02,511 --> 00:07:05,151 Damn right I can! I'm bad to the bone! 126 00:07:15,491 --> 00:07:17,421 Who the hell are you? 127 00:07:17,461 --> 00:07:18,791 I'm your guilt. 128 00:07:18,831 --> 00:07:19,891 I don't have any guilt. 129 00:07:19,931 --> 00:07:21,661 You do now. 130 00:07:21,701 --> 00:07:23,831 Don't worry, Bart. I'll protect you. 131 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,631 I'm denial. 132 00:07:27,331 --> 00:07:28,201 Ay, caramba! 133 00:07:30,524 --> 00:07:33,094 ♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪ ♪ if we were older? ♪ 134 00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:37,064 ♪ Then we wouldn't have ♪ ♪ to wait so long? ♪ 135 00:07:37,104 --> 00:07:39,674 My hat! 136 00:07:48,436 --> 00:07:50,206 Sunny? 137 00:08:05,556 --> 00:08:07,586 Uh, no. 138 00:08:07,616 --> 00:08:09,526 Uh-uh. 139 00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:10,686 Oh. 140 00:08:11,856 --> 00:08:13,026 No. 141 00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:14,496 Nope. 142 00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:15,966 Not even close. 143 00:08:21,966 --> 00:08:24,366 Do you have any more yellow hats? 144 00:08:24,406 --> 00:08:26,936 You mean like the one you looked really good in? 145 00:08:26,976 --> 00:08:28,976 Yes. No. 146 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:31,376 Oh... 147 00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:41,017 You're still here? No offense, but you look worse. 148 00:08:41,057 --> 00:08:45,027 Your lack of remorse just makes me grow. 149 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,727 Now you're gettin' it. 150 00:08:50,027 --> 00:08:52,967 Ha! Joke's on you... I like gross things. 151 00:08:52,997 --> 00:08:54,197 Hmm. 152 00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:59,067 Again! Again! 153 00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,907 And that leads to mate 154 00:09:01,937 --> 00:09:03,407 in three! 155 00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,907 I've got to say, it's so exciting 156 00:09:05,947 --> 00:09:08,417 to find out something new about you. 157 00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:10,587 Hey, I'm full of surprises. 158 00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,647 Ooh. Name another. 159 00:09:12,687 --> 00:09:13,857 Actually, that's it. 160 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,157 Tell me something I don't know about you. 161 00:09:16,187 --> 00:09:18,227 Okay. 162 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:20,757 Sometimes when I sweep, I make little sweeping noises 163 00:09:20,797 --> 00:09:22,327 with my mouth. 164 00:09:23,967 --> 00:09:27,197 Oh, here comes the dustpan. 165 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,060 I can't find Sunny anywhere. 166 00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:34,530 Sunny? No! We got to find Sunny! 167 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:35,760 Where... Wait. 168 00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:37,460 The baby's name is Maggie. 169 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,900 Hey, beach bums. Man, did I crash last night. 170 00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:46,370 Always sleep well after riding the waves. 171 00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:48,470 Ah... 172 00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:51,210 Have you seen your sister's hat? 173 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:55,750 Oh, did-did she have a hat? I-I don't remember any hat. 174 00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:57,780 Her name was Sunny, and I loved her more 175 00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:59,950 than any girl ever loved a hat! 176 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,260 Even Madeline from the Madeline books? 177 00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:07,260 She only wore that because it was part of her uniform. 178 00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:09,060 Ask Pepito. 179 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,360 Mmm. 180 00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:18,370 Hey, hey, hey, I do not like to see that going on in my bar. 181 00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:22,910 Lenny, knight takes queen. 182 00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,740 Barney, mate in four. 183 00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:28,510 Homer! You're playing like Polugaevsky at Mar del Plata. 184 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,190 Yeah, Homer, you're some kind of a idiot savant. 185 00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:35,420 Hey, I don't come here to be insulted. 186 00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:37,490 Homer, we're just saying youse got a special skill, 187 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,930 like a smokin' monkey or a urinal cake with an ad on it. 188 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,530 Don't tell me you're not flattered by those analogies. 189 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,170 You guys think you're so hot. 190 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,430 I could fit in a piece of carry-on luggage. 191 00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:50,470 Oh-ho, I'd like to see that. 192 00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:57,640 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 193 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,210 Oh, no. I'm alone with my thoughts. 194 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:02,180 No. No, no, no. The healthiest thing 195 00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:03,950 is for me to let myself out. 196 00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:05,550 Oh, sure thing, pal. 197 00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:09,090 Here you go. 198 00:11:11,390 --> 00:11:13,390 So, Homer, how did you get so good at chess? 199 00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:15,230 I played against my dad. 200 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,260 Uh, was that fun? 201 00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:22,630 It was, until I learned the pieces weren't licorice. 202 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,970 We played every day after my mother left us, 203 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,570 and he won every time. 204 00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:32,180 And every time he won, he laughed that horrible laugh. 205 00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:35,410 Aw, Mona. 206 00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:40,550 So I found a professor 207 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:42,420 who lived nearby, 208 00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:45,320 a master of the game, kind, patient, 209 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,030 devoted to me. 210 00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:49,300 I went every day. 211 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,370 You are ready now. 212 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,030 Thanks for the lessons, Professor. 213 00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:58,400 You remind me of my son. 214 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,070 Oh. Where is he now? He's... 215 00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:02,610 right over there. 216 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,940 He just doesn't like chess. 217 00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:09,120 I went back to play my dad. 218 00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:10,850 We had a beautiful thing here, 219 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,350 and you had to ruin it by getting good! 220 00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:15,020 No more chess in this house! 221 00:12:15,050 --> 00:12:16,620 But, Dad, it's our thing. 222 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:18,290 Well, we'll find another thing. 223 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,030 You listen to the radiator hiss while I drink whiskey 224 00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,730 under this naked lightbulb. 225 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:29,640 It was a sad life, but I wasn't affected. 226 00:12:33,910 --> 00:12:35,263 ♪ They fight and fight ♪ ♪ and fight ♪ 227 00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:36,973 ♪ Fight, fight, fight, ♪ ♪ fight, fight, fight ♪ 228 00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:40,080 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show. ♪ 229 00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:43,950 I brought you more lasagna, cousin. 230 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,980 Mmm. 231 00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,660 You know these cartoons are made 232 00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:52,820 by exploiting Korean children? 233 00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:55,260 You ruin everything. 234 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,340 Bart? What is it? 235 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,310 Um, listen, I have... I have to tell you something. 236 00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:14,910 I-I was jealous, and I-I threw your hat away. 237 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,190 Oh, that went a lot better than I thought. 238 00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:21,290 Why did you do it? - I don't know. 239 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,160 The important thing is you got to forgive me right now. 240 00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,620 I feel kind of guilty. 241 00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:28,330 Then I hope your guilt will grow... 242 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,260 and grow... 243 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,100 and grow. 244 00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:36,300 And no matter how much you try to pretty it up... 245 00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:40,570 it'll still be the most hideous thing you could imagine! 246 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,450 Nerds! Get 'em! 247 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,850 A cupcake? Please. 248 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,390 No. 249 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,790 Mm-mm. 250 00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,360 So what? 251 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,030 I'm truly sorry, Bart, 252 00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:06,700 but it's a wound nothing can heal. 253 00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:08,800 A bunny and a hammer? 254 00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:11,740 Well, my mom did say bring home dinner. 255 00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:16,740 Homer, listen, hey, 256 00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:19,040 I got something very scary to tell you. 257 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,210 Now, I was on this alt-suicide subreddit, 258 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:22,880 you know, just-just checking in, 259 00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:25,880 and I found out why you are so good at chess. 260 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,490 Go on. 261 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:31,690 Chess represents your desire to kill your father. 262 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,760 What the...? That's ridiculous! 263 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,260 Now, I'm here to bowl! 264 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,730 You'll end up in the gutter! 265 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,770 Oh, my head! 266 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,070 Oh! I'll sue! 267 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:44,340 I can't afford the copay! 268 00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:46,370 Won't someone reset us! 269 00:14:46,410 --> 00:14:48,370 Well, at least I'm safe. 270 00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:57,280 I'm in luck! It's still here! 271 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,290 My hat! 272 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,790 Aah! My car! And my house. 273 00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:14,214 Homer, before you give up, 274 00:15:14,254 --> 00:15:17,454 I Skyped someone who knows a little bit about chess. 275 00:15:17,494 --> 00:15:19,794 Oh, I don't think any chess master 276 00:15:19,824 --> 00:15:24,024 or even international master could understand how I feel. 277 00:15:24,064 --> 00:15:26,964 I'm world chess champion Magnus Carlsen. 278 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,734 I understand Norwegian! 279 00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:32,404 When I heard a fellow chess player had a mental problem, 280 00:15:32,434 --> 00:15:33,834 I Skyped at once. 281 00:15:33,874 --> 00:15:35,374 I'm not a chess player anymore. 282 00:15:35,404 --> 00:15:38,044 From now on, I'm only playing Stratego! 283 00:15:38,074 --> 00:15:40,514 I cannot play Stratego... I'm scared of the bomb. 284 00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:42,244 Yeah, tell me about it. 285 00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:44,554 Homer, I'm afraid you cannot run away from chess. 286 00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:46,414 The reason I got into chess 287 00:15:46,454 --> 00:15:48,384 was because it didn't involve running. 288 00:15:48,424 --> 00:15:51,154 I share your disdain for exercise. 289 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,394 Now I will say something with all the emotion 290 00:15:53,424 --> 00:15:55,624 a Norwegian can muster. 291 00:15:58,594 --> 00:16:00,564 To find your true feelings, 292 00:16:00,594 --> 00:16:03,404 you must finish your final chess match with your father. 293 00:16:03,434 --> 00:16:05,604 I'm sorry, you cut out for a second. 294 00:16:05,634 --> 00:16:06,704 Did you gasp? 295 00:16:06,734 --> 00:16:08,044 Then you will nod. 296 00:16:08,074 --> 00:16:10,274 Then you will eat a piece of cheese 297 00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:11,714 while the wife doesn't look. 298 00:16:11,744 --> 00:16:14,374 Then you will undo the top button of your pants. 299 00:16:14,414 --> 00:16:16,584 I'm always three moves ahead. 300 00:16:18,754 --> 00:16:20,014 D'oh! 301 00:16:20,054 --> 00:16:22,854 Okay, I don't have to move the cube. 302 00:16:22,884 --> 00:16:25,024 I just have to get the hat out. 303 00:16:25,054 --> 00:16:26,424 Ga-der! 304 00:16:26,454 --> 00:16:28,394 I never thought I'd sink this low, 305 00:16:28,424 --> 00:16:30,524 but I need help from God. 306 00:16:30,564 --> 00:16:33,564 Let our faith lift up this cube, Lord. 307 00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,564 Huh? 308 00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:37,574 Aw. 309 00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:40,134 Thanks for nothing. 310 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,444 Huh? The soda ate right through the metal! 311 00:16:49,484 --> 00:16:51,514 I'm just glad I'm not a car. 312 00:16:52,784 --> 00:16:55,324 Ah. I just have to get more. 313 00:16:58,354 --> 00:17:00,094 Hit it, boys! 314 00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:05,664 And... evil thoughts. 315 00:17:12,374 --> 00:17:14,744 Boys, are you performing miracles? 316 00:17:14,774 --> 00:17:17,244 Jesus is performing them through us. 317 00:17:17,274 --> 00:17:18,844 Well, all right, then. 318 00:17:21,444 --> 00:17:24,414 I'm here to play chess, we're gonna play chess, 319 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,114 and not another word! I play chess? 320 00:17:47,504 --> 00:17:49,504 An excellent move by Homer. 321 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,374 A stout defense by Grampa. 322 00:17:55,484 --> 00:17:57,854 Doesn't anyone want to watch the Super Bowl? 323 00:17:57,884 --> 00:17:59,814 Get lost! 324 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,984 Homer has the win in hand. 325 00:18:03,024 --> 00:18:04,994 He merely needs to take Grampa's knight. 326 00:18:05,024 --> 00:18:06,624 Oh, he's gonna be a new man. 327 00:18:06,654 --> 00:18:08,494 A new man, you hear me? 328 00:18:08,524 --> 00:18:11,194 Can I go? It's, like, 4:00 a.m. for me. 329 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,334 Sure. Fine. 330 00:18:12,364 --> 00:18:13,694 Uh, who is that guy? 331 00:18:13,734 --> 00:18:16,034 Magnus Carlsen... my cousin. 332 00:18:26,444 --> 00:18:29,544 Isn't a father more important than a victory? 333 00:18:29,584 --> 00:18:32,114 I've never really known either. 334 00:18:35,454 --> 00:18:37,654 You resign?! 335 00:18:37,694 --> 00:18:39,894 Dad, Dad, it seems I love you. 336 00:18:39,924 --> 00:18:42,264 Can't you say it seems you love me, too? 337 00:18:42,294 --> 00:18:43,394 Aw... 338 00:18:43,424 --> 00:18:44,564 my son loves me. 339 00:18:44,594 --> 00:18:46,494 Now I can die in peace. 340 00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:47,394 Really? 341 00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:48,734 Hold your horses! 342 00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:52,434 Lisa! Stupid Lisa! 343 00:18:52,474 --> 00:18:54,504 I've got something to show you! 344 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,844 I found Sunny! 345 00:18:55,874 --> 00:18:57,614 I don't want the hat anymore. 346 00:18:57,644 --> 00:19:00,414 What? You really don't have any choice in the matter. 347 00:19:00,444 --> 00:19:02,244 Here! I told you, 348 00:19:02,284 --> 00:19:04,084 the wound won't heal. 349 00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:07,354 Your best bet is to forget me and start fresh with Maggie. 350 00:19:07,384 --> 00:19:10,384 She likes raisins, Bart. Give her raisins. 351 00:19:18,394 --> 00:19:21,704 ♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪ ♪ if we were older? ♪ 352 00:19:21,734 --> 00:19:23,534 ♪ Then we wouldn't have... ♪ 353 00:19:23,564 --> 00:19:26,434 He's trying to be nice. 354 00:19:28,444 --> 00:19:30,544 Now what's your problem? 355 00:19:30,574 --> 00:19:32,744 Oh, shut up! I forgive you! 356 00:19:32,774 --> 00:19:34,074 You forgive me? 357 00:19:35,184 --> 00:19:38,584 Yes. In the right hat, anything is possible. 358 00:19:40,954 --> 00:19:44,524 Why does everyone feel so good when I leave?! 359 00:19:50,424 --> 00:19:53,394 Ooh-hoo-hoo! This will come in handy. 360 00:19:55,204 --> 00:19:56,504 What's going on here? 361 00:19:56,534 --> 00:19:58,174 Bart and I are friends again. 362 00:19:58,204 --> 00:20:00,674 I do some of my best fathering 363 00:20:00,704 --> 00:20:02,474 when I'm not around. 364 00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:05,844 Hey, who are you? Oh, you'll find out. 365 00:20:05,874 --> 00:20:11,314 Listen, pal, I have plenty of demons. Get in line. 366 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,514 How you doing? Drunk! 367 00:20:12,554 --> 00:20:14,284 Hey, I thought you were sloth. 368 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,984 Sloths can be drunk. 369 00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:18,402 So we learned Bart has a conscience. 370 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:21,222 Haw-haw! 371 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,062 You have a conscience! 372 00:20:23,092 --> 00:20:24,662 Closed set! 373 00:20:24,692 --> 00:20:26,662 My mom's dating your gaffer. 374 00:20:26,702 --> 00:20:28,402 Jack! Is that true? 375 00:20:28,432 --> 00:20:30,232 I'm... not proud of it. 376 00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:34,902 You seemed pretty proud when you ate all our ramen noodles. 377 00:20:40,082 --> 00:20:43,052 Listen, I got to know. Do you chess guys get groupies? 378 00:20:43,082 --> 00:20:45,082 Homer, I wish you could stop. 379 00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:46,852 These Skypes aren't free. 380 00:20:46,882 --> 00:20:48,252 Yes, they are. 381 00:20:48,282 --> 00:20:50,292 I still don't want to talk to you. 382 00:21:00,232 --> 00:21:02,872 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 383 00:21:20,982 --> 00:21:21,982 Shh!