1 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,990 Whoa, look out. 2 00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:10,490 Hey, where's our sailboat? 3 00:00:10,530 --> 00:00:13,500 Oh. It really tied the room together. 4 00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:16,930 Yes. That painting was great. 5 00:00:16,970 --> 00:00:19,000 Derivative, amateur seascape. 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,270 Maybe another animated show stole it! 7 00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:24,810 We'll see about that! 8 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,010 Or maybe I sold it on Craigslist. 9 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,680 Both things are equally possible. 10 00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:31,080 This a TV show, 11 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,920 or did I walk into a third grade shoebox diorama? 12 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,550 Did you steal my painting? 13 00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:44,230 Out of the mouths of babes. 14 00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:47,700 ♪ We're in the cookies ♪ ♪ you hate to eat ♪ 15 00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:51,570 ♪ An unpleasant surprise ♪ ♪ when you trick-or-treat... ♪ 16 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,100 Boo! Boo! 17 00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:55,570 Snacks should be bad for you! 18 00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:12,090 Ew, what smells like comic books and loneliness? 19 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,130 Oh, uh, certainly not this cool cat. 20 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,730 Nope. That was spot-on. 21 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,300 But today I don't care. 22 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,100 Look what I got! My painting! 23 00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:22,770 The pièce de résistance of my memorabilia collection! 24 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,800 Not since I was the winning bidder 25 00:01:24,830 --> 00:01:27,340 on a Ziploc full of Jonathan Frakes' beard trimmings 26 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,010 have I been so... Aw, dang it. 27 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,510 Ooh! Gross! Raisin blood! 28 00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:38,520 Oh, I did it. 29 00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:39,980 Oh,. 30 00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:49,190 Bart and I haven't always been the best of friends. Aah! 31 00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:51,830 And we're here to tell you a story of a time 32 00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:53,140 when we really didn't get along. 33 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,130 But we found our way! 34 00:01:56,170 --> 00:01:58,600 And we like each other better than ever! 35 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,040 Way to spoil the ending, nerd-burger. 36 00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:03,940 Mmm, nerd-burger. 37 00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:07,040 It all began on the hottest summer on record. Aah! 38 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,980 After years of pollution in Springfield Bay, 39 00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:11,220 I am honored to announce that these waters 40 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,120 are now safe to swim in. 41 00:02:14,650 --> 00:02:18,460 Huzzah for a cleaner Springfield! 42 00:02:18,490 --> 00:02:20,060 Er, uh, it's not cleaner. 43 00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:22,230 We just lowered the safety standards. 44 00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:25,230 Yay! 45 00:02:29,070 --> 00:02:31,800 Okay, who's up for a day at the beach? 46 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,670 I got all the beach I want with Anzio Beach Invasion. 47 00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:40,010 Pathetic! I was there, and it was nothing like that. 48 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:42,710 I surrender! 49 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,920 I'll go in first so they won't know it's a trap. 50 00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,250 Yoink. Yoink. 51 00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,850 Movado! 52 00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:05,000 Well, that is the most disgusting thing 53 00:03:05,030 --> 00:03:07,000 I've ever seen on a beach. 54 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,440 Kind of sad, really. 55 00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:14,240 A booger? 56 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,950 Real mature, guys, real mature. 57 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,250 A booger! 58 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,750 A human booger, indeed. 59 00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,520 Dolphin. Weak. 60 00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:26,190 Skull. Cliché. 61 00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:28,360 "I'd rather be fishing." Not true. 62 00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:29,630 The bone? 63 00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:33,160 That's exactly what I'm bad to. 64 00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:37,330 Hmm. 65 00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:43,740 ♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪ ♪ if we were older? ♪ 66 00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:47,310 ♪ Then we wouldn't have ♪ ♪ to wait so long ♪ 67 00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:51,250 ♪ And wouldn't it be nice ♪ ♪ to live together ♪ 68 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:56,120 ♪ In the kind of world ♪ ♪ where we belong? ♪ 69 00:03:56,150 --> 00:04:00,390 ♪ You know it's gonna make it ♪ ♪ that much better... ♪ 70 00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:03,090 I'll take it! 71 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,000 Geronimo! 72 00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,480 It said "water-resistant." 73 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,240 It resisted nothing! 74 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,780 Whee...! 75 00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:25,480 Whoa! Dope hat! 76 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,120 And check out my gnarly new tat! 77 00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:30,950 No fair! I'm bad to the bone! 78 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,330 Mmm! Okay, that's it. 79 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,130 Marge, I'm watching sports! 80 00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:44,030 Really? What's the score? 81 00:04:44,070 --> 00:04:47,170 Uh, the, uh, Boobs are beating the Butts. 82 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,270 I don't think that's the official terminology. 83 00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:52,840 Oh! 84 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,180 Maybe you should watch this sport instead. 85 00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:57,380 Hmm. 86 00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:58,380 Mm-mm-mm. 87 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,420 What do you know? 88 00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:04,190 Checkmate. Ha! 89 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,060 It's the only mate I haven't buried. 90 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,290 Hey, Blobby Fischer, you're up. 91 00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:12,730 Do you even know the names of the pieces? 92 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,830 Of course. There's the King, 93 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:17,000 Mrs. King, the Lightbulb Babies, 94 00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:19,500 the Mini Ashtray, Slit Face. 95 00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:23,010 And who could forget Dr. Horse? 96 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,510 Want to put a 20 on it? 97 00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:26,980 Make it a 22. 98 00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:31,050 Checkmate. 99 00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:37,490 Another victim of the Budapest Gambit. 100 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,160 How can Dad play chess? 101 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,760 He can't even remember the rules to Chutes and Ladders. 102 00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:44,530 I do so! You always think ladders go down. 103 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,160 You can go down a ladder. 104 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,260 Oh, God, not this again. 105 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,723 I go down ladders all the time. Homer, when did you learn to play chess? 106 00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:53,500 The truth is, my dad and I used to play. 107 00:06:06,820 --> 00:06:08,850 He won't stop doing it. 108 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:11,050 That's jive, man. 109 00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:14,020 But I don't want to talk about it. 110 00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:22,200 Whoa! Sweet lid, Lisa. 111 00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:24,070 Well, I'm bad to the bone. 112 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,870 I see no proof of that. 113 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:27,600 Oh, yeah? Just look at this. 114 00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:33,240 Haw-haw! Bart's getting beat up by a beach turkey! 115 00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,080 Hmm. 116 00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:43,990 Okay, a few ground rules. 117 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:46,960 Everything I say, I want five of. 118 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,960 Five Krusty Burgers... 119 00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,090 Got it. Five Krusty Burgers. 120 00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:53,100 No! I thought I was clear. 121 00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:55,100 25 Krusty Burgers! 122 00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:57,430 125 Krusty Burgers? 123 00:06:57,470 --> 00:06:59,970 No! That's not what I... Fine. 124 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,510 Can I really toss this thing she's so crazy about? 125 00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:06,180 Damn right I can! I'm bad to the bone! 126 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,450 Who the hell are you? 127 00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:19,820 I'm your guilt. 128 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:20,920 I don't have any guilt. 129 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,690 You do now. 130 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,860 Don't worry, Bart. I'll protect you. 131 00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:26,660 I'm denial. 132 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,230 Ay, caramba! 133 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:37,470 ♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪ ♪ if we were older? ♪ 134 00:07:37,510 --> 00:07:41,440 ♪ Then we wouldn't have ♪ ♪ to wait so long? ♪ 135 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,050 My hat! 136 00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:53,860 Sunny? 137 00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:11,240 Uh, no. 138 00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:13,180 Uh-uh. 139 00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:14,340 Oh. 140 00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:16,680 No. 141 00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,150 Nope. 142 00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:19,620 Not even close. 143 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:28,020 Do you have any more yellow hats? 144 00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:30,590 You mean like the one you looked really good in? 145 00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:32,630 Yes. No. 146 00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:35,030 Oh... 147 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,770 You're still here? 148 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,070 No offense, but you look worse. 149 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:47,080 Your lack of remorse just makes me grow. 150 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,780 Now you're gettin' it. 151 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,020 Ha! Joke's on you... I like gross things. 152 00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:56,250 Hmm. 153 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,120 Again! Again! 154 00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:03,960 And that leads to mate 155 00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:05,460 in three! 156 00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:07,960 I've got to say, it's so exciting 157 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,470 to find out something new about you. 158 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,640 Hey, I'm full of surprises. 159 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:14,700 Ooh. Name another. 160 00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:15,910 Actually, that's it. 161 00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:18,210 Tell me something I don't know about you. 162 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,280 Okay. 163 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,810 Sometimes when I sweep, I make little sweeping noises 164 00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:24,380 with my mouth. 165 00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:29,250 Oh, here comes the dustpan. 166 00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:34,760 I can't find Sunny anywhere. 167 00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:37,230 Sunny? No! We got to find Sunny! 168 00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:38,460 Where... Wait. 169 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,160 The baby's name is Maggie. 170 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:46,600 Hey, beach bums. Man, did I crash last night. 171 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,070 Always sleep well after riding the waves. 172 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,170 Ah... 173 00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:53,910 Have you seen your sister's hat? 174 00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:58,450 Oh, did-did she have a hat? I-I don't remember any hat. 175 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,480 Her name was Sunny, and I loved her more 176 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,650 than any girl ever loved a hat! 177 00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:05,960 Even Madeline from the Madeline books? 178 00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:09,960 She only wore that because it was part of her uniform. 179 00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:11,760 Ask Pepito. 180 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:15,060 Mmm. 181 00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:21,070 Hey, hey, hey, I do not like to see that going on in my bar. 182 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,610 Lenny, knight takes queen. 183 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,440 Barney, mate in four. 184 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:31,210 Homer! You're playing like Polugaevsky at Mar del Plata. 185 00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,890 Yeah, Homer, you're some kind of a idiot savant. 186 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,120 Hey, I don't come here to be insulted. 187 00:10:38,150 --> 00:10:40,190 Homer, we're just saying youse got a special skill, 188 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:43,630 like a smokin' monkey or a urinal cake with an ad on it. 189 00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:46,230 Don't tell me you're not flattered by those analogies. 190 00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,870 You guys think you're so hot. 191 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:51,130 I could fit in a piece of carry-on luggage. 192 00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:53,170 Oh-ho, I'd like to see that. 193 00:10:57,170 --> 00:11:00,340 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 194 00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:02,910 Oh, no. I'm alone with my thoughts. 195 00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,880 No. No, no, no. The healthiest thing 196 00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,650 is for me to let myself out. 197 00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,250 Oh, sure thing, pal. 198 00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,790 Here you go. 199 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,090 So, Homer, how did you get so good at chess? 200 00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:17,930 I played against my dad. 201 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,960 Uh, was that fun? 202 00:11:22,270 --> 00:11:25,330 It was, until I learned the pieces weren't licorice. 203 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,670 We played every day after my mother left us, 204 00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:31,270 and he won every time. 205 00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:34,880 And every time he won, he laughed that horrible laugh. 206 00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,110 Aw, Mona. 207 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,250 So I found a professor 208 00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,120 who lived nearby, 209 00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:48,020 a master of the game, kind, patient, 210 00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,730 devoted to me. 211 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,000 I went every day. 212 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:56,070 You are ready now. 213 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,730 Thanks for the lessons, Professor. 214 00:11:57,770 --> 00:12:01,100 You remind me of my son. 215 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:03,770 Oh. Where is he now? He's... 216 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:05,310 right over there. 217 00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:07,640 He just doesn't like chess. 218 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,820 I went back to play my dad. 219 00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,550 We had a beautiful thing here, 220 00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:16,050 and you had to ruin it by getting good! 221 00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:17,720 No more chess in this house! 222 00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:19,320 But, Dad, it's our thing. 223 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,990 Well, we'll find another thing. 224 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:23,730 You listen to the radiator hiss while I drink whiskey 225 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,430 under this naked lightbulb. 226 00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:32,340 It was a sad life, but I wasn't affected. 227 00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:37,963 ♪ They fight and fight ♪ ♪ and fight ♪ 228 00:12:37,970 --> 00:12:39,673 ♪ Fight, fight, fight, ♪ ♪ fight, fight, fight ♪ 229 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,780 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show. ♪ 230 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:46,650 I brought you more lasagna, cousin. 231 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,680 Mmm. 232 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,360 You know these cartoons are made 233 00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,520 by exploiting Korean children? 234 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,960 You ruin everything. 235 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:11,040 Bart? What is it? 236 00:13:11,070 --> 00:13:14,010 Um, listen, I have... I have to tell you something. 237 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,610 I-I was jealous, and I-I threw your hat away. 238 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:21,890 Oh, that went a lot better than I thought. 239 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,990 Why did you do it? I don't know. 240 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,860 The important thing is you got to forgive me right now. 241 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,320 I feel kind of guilty. 242 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,030 Then I hope your guilt will grow... 243 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,960 and grow... 244 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,800 and grow. 245 00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:39,000 And no matter how much you try to pretty it up... 246 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,270 it'll still be the most hideous thing you could imagine! 247 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,150 Nerds! Get 'em! 248 00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:56,550 A cupcake? Please. 249 00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:59,090 No. 250 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,490 Mm-mm. 251 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,060 So what? 252 00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:05,730 I'm truly sorry, Bart, 253 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,400 but it's a wound nothing can heal. 254 00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,500 A bunny and a hammer? 255 00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:14,440 Well, my mom did say bring home dinner. 256 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,440 Homer, listen, hey, 257 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,740 I got something very scary to tell you. 258 00:14:21,780 --> 00:14:23,910 Now, I was on this alt-suicide subreddit, 259 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,580 you know, just-just checking in, 260 00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:28,580 and I found out why you are so good at chess. 261 00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,190 Go on. 262 00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:34,390 Chess represents your desire to kill your father. 263 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:36,460 What the...? That's ridiculous! 264 00:14:36,490 --> 00:14:37,960 Now, I'm here to bowl! 265 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,430 You'll end up in the gutter! 266 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,470 Oh, my head! 267 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,770 Oh! I'll sue! 268 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,040 I can't afford the copay! 269 00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:49,070 Won't someone reset us! 270 00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:51,070 Well, at least I'm safe. 271 00:14:58,110 --> 00:14:59,980 I'm in luck! It's still here! 272 00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:03,990 My hat! 273 00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:06,490 Aah! My car! And my house. 274 00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:18,830 Homer, before you give up, 275 00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:22,070 I Skyped someone who knows a little bit about chess. 276 00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,410 Oh, I don't think any chess master 277 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:28,640 or even international master could understand how I feel. 278 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,580 I'm world chess champion Magnus Carlsen. 279 00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:34,350 I understand Norwegian! 280 00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:37,020 When I heard a fellow chess player had a mental problem, 281 00:15:37,050 --> 00:15:38,450 I Skyped at once. 282 00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:39,990 I'm not a chess player anymore. 283 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,660 From now on, I'm only playing Stratego! 284 00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:45,130 I cannot play Stratego... I'm scared of the bomb. 285 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,860 Yeah, tell me about it. 286 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,170 Homer, I'm afraid you cannot run away from chess. 287 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,030 The reason I got into chess 288 00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:53,000 was because it didn't involve running. 289 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,770 I share your disdain for exercise. 290 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,010 Now I will say something with all the emotion 291 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,240 a Norwegian can muster. 292 00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:05,180 To find your true feelings, 293 00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:08,020 you must finish your final chess match with your father. 294 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,220 I'm sorry, you cut out for a second. 295 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,320 Did you gasp? 296 00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:12,660 Then you will nod. 297 00:16:12,690 --> 00:16:14,890 Then you will eat a piece of cheese 298 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,330 while the wife doesn't look. 299 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,990 Then you will undo the top button of your pants. 300 00:16:19,030 --> 00:16:21,200 I'm always three moves ahead. 301 00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:24,630 D'oh! 302 00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:27,470 Okay, I don't have to move the cube. 303 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,640 I just have to get the hat out. 304 00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:31,040 Ga-der! 305 00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:33,010 I never thought I'd sink this low, 306 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,140 but I need help from God. 307 00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:38,180 Let our faith lift up this cube, Lord. 308 00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:40,180 Huh? 309 00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:42,190 Aw. 310 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:44,750 Thanks for nothing. 311 00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:54,060 Huh? The soda ate right through the metal! 312 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,130 I'm just glad I'm not a car. 313 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,940 Ah. I just have to get more. 314 00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:04,710 Hit it, boys! 315 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,280 And... evil thoughts. 316 00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:19,360 Boys, are you performing miracles? 317 00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:21,860 Jesus is performing them through us. 318 00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:23,460 Well, all right, then. 319 00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:29,030 I'm here to play chess, we're gonna play chess, 320 00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:31,730 and not another word! I play chess? 321 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,120 An excellent move by Homer. 322 00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:57,990 A stout defense by Grampa. 323 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:02,470 Doesn't anyone want to watch the Super Bowl? 324 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,430 Get lost! 325 00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:07,600 Homer has the win in hand. 326 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,610 He merely needs to take Grampa's knight. 327 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,240 Oh, he's gonna be a new man. 328 00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:13,110 A new man, you hear me? 329 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,810 Can I go? It's, like, 4:00 a.m. for me. 330 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:16,950 Sure. Fine. 331 00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,310 Uh, who is that guy? 332 00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:20,650 Magnus Carlsen... my cousin. 333 00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:34,160 Isn't a father more important than a victory? 334 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,730 I've never really known either. 335 00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:42,270 You resign?! 336 00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,510 Dad, Dad, it seems I love you. 337 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,880 Can't you say it seems you love me, too? 338 00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,010 Aw... 339 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,180 my son loves me. 340 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,110 Now I can die in peace. 341 00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:52,010 Really? 342 00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:53,350 Hold your horses! 343 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,050 Lisa! Stupid Lisa! 344 00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:59,120 I've got something to show you! 345 00:18:59,150 --> 00:19:00,460 I found Sunny! 346 00:19:00,490 --> 00:19:02,230 I don't want the hat anymore. 347 00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:05,030 What? You really don't have any choice in the matter. 348 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,860 Here! I told you, 349 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,700 the wound won't heal. 350 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,970 Your best bet is to forget me and start fresh with Maggie. 351 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,000 She likes raisins, Bart. Give her raisins. 352 00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:26,320 ♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪ ♪ if we were older? ♪ 353 00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:28,150 ♪ Then we wouldn't have... ♪ 354 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:31,050 He's trying to be nice. 355 00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:35,160 Now what's your problem? 356 00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:37,360 Oh, shut up! I forgive you! 357 00:19:37,390 --> 00:19:38,690 You forgive me? 358 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:43,200 Yes. In the right hat, anything is possible. 359 00:19:45,570 --> 00:19:49,140 Why does everyone feel so good when I leave?! 360 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,010 Ooh-hoo-hoo! This will come in handy. 361 00:19:59,820 --> 00:20:01,120 What's going on here? 362 00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:02,790 Bart and I are friends again. 363 00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:05,290 I do some of my best fathering 364 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,090 when I'm not around. 365 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,460 Hey, who are you? Oh, you'll find out. 366 00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:15,930 Listen, pal, I have plenty of demons. Get in line. 367 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,130 How you doing? Drunk! 368 00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:18,900 Hey, I thought you were sloth. 369 00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:20,600 Sloths can be drunk. 370 00:20:26,170 --> 00:20:27,173 So we learned Bart has a conscience. 371 00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:28,140 Haw-haw! 372 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:29,980 You have a conscience! 373 00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:31,580 Closed set! 374 00:20:31,610 --> 00:20:33,580 My mom's dating your gaffer. 375 00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:35,320 Jack! Is that true? 376 00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:37,150 I'm... not proud of it. 377 00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:41,820 You seemed pretty proud when you ate all our ramen noodles. 378 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,970 Listen, I got to know. Do you chess guys get groupies? 379 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000 Homer, I wish you could stop. 380 00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:53,770 These Skypes aren't free. 381 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,170 Yes, they are. 382 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,210 I still don't want to talk to you. 383 00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:09,790 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 384 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,900 Shh!