1 00:00:02,561 --> 00:00:08,065 ♪ 2 00:00:08,067 --> 00:00:10,992 Here's your ticket to witness history. 3 00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:13,178 Chuck Wildler breaking the pitching record 4 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:16,598 -for most batters knocked unconscious. -Mm-hmm! 5 00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:19,667 Upper deck. We're so far away. 6 00:00:19,669 --> 00:00:22,596 I wanted to see teeth fly. 7 00:00:22,598 --> 00:00:25,190 Relax, nobody comes to Isotopes games. 8 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,841 We'll move into the empty seats behind home plate. 9 00:00:26,843 --> 00:00:29,753 You'll be so close to the carnage, 10 00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:31,530 you'll have flashbacks for the rest of your life. 11 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,015 What the heck? 12 00:00:34,017 --> 00:00:35,868 Why is it so crowded? 13 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,928 And why are they all girls? 14 00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:39,096 And why are they all checking 15 00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:40,781 each other's teeth for lipstick? 16 00:00:40,783 --> 00:00:42,541 -Do I have lipstick? -Is it gone? 17 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,877 ANNOUNCER (over P.A.): First up, a young slugger batting .320 18 00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,712 with a hat size of 11-- 19 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:47,938 Tork "Lollipop" Williams. 20 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:51,842 (laughs) Wildler hates this guy's head. 21 00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:55,962 FEMALE VOICE: Your jumbotron is now under the control 22 00:00:55,964 --> 00:01:00,392 of the Ashlee Starling Murmur Nation. 23 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,227 (girls cheering) 24 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,396 Why are you all standing at the same time? 25 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:08,192 That's not how the wave works. You've got to undulate. 26 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:13,847 Ashlee's album Squeeze Play drops now. 27 00:01:13,849 --> 00:01:16,575 Featuring her hit single "Glitter!" 28 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:17,892 -♪ -(girls cheering) 29 00:01:17,894 --> 00:01:21,896 What the hell is an Ashlee Starling? 30 00:01:21,898 --> 00:01:24,065 Ashlee Starling is a whiny pop singer 31 00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:26,585 for whiny girls who love to whine. 32 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,478 ♪ Yeah, yeah, you broke my heart ♪ 33 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,756 ♪ Into a million pieces ♪ 34 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:33,834 ♪ And like glitter those pieces shine ♪ 35 00:01:33,836 --> 00:01:37,003 ♪ They reflect all the bad things you said and did ♪ 36 00:01:37,005 --> 00:01:40,006 ♪ And I can't get them out of my mind ♪ 37 00:01:40,008 --> 00:01:41,433 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 38 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,251 ♪ I'm not bitter, now I'm glitter ♪ 39 00:01:43,345 --> 00:01:47,347 -(grumbles) Ah! (grumbles) -♪ You threw me away like litter... ♪ 40 00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:51,168 Stop this stupid well-planned thing! 41 00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:54,279 -♪ I'm not bitter, now I'm glitter ♪ -(both groaning) 42 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,764 (gasping) 43 00:01:56,766 --> 00:01:58,784 -HOMER: Oh, my God, it's happening. -♪ Bet your new girl will find ♪ 44 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:02,529 -For the record! And... Oh. -♪ Pieces of me everywhere ♪ 45 00:02:02,531 --> 00:02:05,273 -♪ Like glitter. ♪ -HOMER: D'oh! 46 00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,942 -(grunts) -We missed it. -(girls exclaiming) 47 00:02:07,944 --> 00:02:10,129 Childhood officially ruined. 48 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,173 Let's get a dozen hot dogs and head home. 49 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,116 -(gasps) -Oh... 50 00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:16,860 -What? -Do I have hot dog? 51 00:02:16,862 --> 00:02:18,362 -Am I good? -(indistinct chatter) 52 00:02:18,364 --> 00:02:21,365 Oh, I should have hot dog in my teeth. 53 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,625 Sir, how long have you been a proud member 54 00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:24,792 of the Murmur Nation? 55 00:02:24,794 --> 00:02:25,960 Since never. 56 00:02:25,962 --> 00:02:28,147 Ashlee Starling is a whiny pop singer 57 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:30,891 for whiny girls that love to whine. Right, boy? 58 00:02:30,893 --> 00:02:32,484 I disagree. 59 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,727 Ashlee Starling's well-crafted songs 60 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:37,564 speak to the inner lives of teens and tweens alike. 61 00:02:37,566 --> 00:02:39,992 -But you said... -I've never met this man. 62 00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,386 If I knew him, I would teach him to love Ashlee 63 00:02:42,388 --> 00:02:43,811 by sharing that one song about how you're beautiful 64 00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:46,623 no matter what your face looks like. 65 00:02:47,893 --> 00:02:50,060 Why are you talking like that? (gasps) 66 00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:52,062 Did one of them bite you? 67 00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:54,398 Do you have any idea what you just mobilized? 68 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,492 You insulted Ashlee Starling 69 00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:59,085 on camera. 70 00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:02,664 I am looking into the eyes of a dead man. 71 00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:04,099 Wha...? 72 00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:09,504 (vocalizing) 73 00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:12,024 MARTY (over radio): Looking for the fifth caller to win all you can eat bread 74 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:14,860 -at Yeasties Doughhouse and... -(radio static) 75 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,086 -Huh? -♪ I'm not bitter... ♪ 76 00:03:16,088 --> 00:03:19,698 What? Oh... You again. 77 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,016 Not on my radio. (grunts) 78 00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:24,428 -♪ I'm not bitter... ♪ -♪ Not bitter... ♪ -What's happening? 79 00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:26,538 -♪ You threw me... ♪ -♪ Threw me... ♪ -(grunting) 80 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,416 -♪ Like glitter. ♪ -(screaming) 81 00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:38,133 Glitter? 82 00:03:40,128 --> 00:03:43,388 (whimpering) 83 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,798 Eh, who's there? 84 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,725 I-I see you. 85 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,393 (panting) 86 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,228 (gasps) 87 00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,730 (girl's laughter echoing) 88 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,023 What the... 89 00:03:53,591 --> 00:03:55,234 (whimpering) 90 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,126 (gasps) A seed cake? 91 00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:58,737 Well, you know my motto: 92 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,889 even the worst cake is still cake. 93 00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:02,632 (shrieking) 94 00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:04,493 (screaming) 95 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:11,733 (shaky breathing) 96 00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:13,627 -Aah! -(screeches) 97 00:04:15,664 --> 00:04:17,147 "Love" is in quotes. 98 00:04:17,149 --> 00:04:19,758 What were you thinking? 99 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,760 You've made the nuclear power plant 100 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,154 a very dangerous place to work. 101 00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:27,081 You have become the target of a highly organized, 102 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:30,176 newly-hormonal fan army. 103 00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:32,829 Because of you, I have to wear this T-shirt. 104 00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:36,591 In case anyone's wondering, I don't agree with Homer. 105 00:04:36,593 --> 00:04:39,761 Whew. You don't know these fan armies. 106 00:04:39,763 --> 00:04:41,929 They're all ruthless psychos. 107 00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:43,931 Except for the BTS ARMY, 108 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:47,010 -who are just and pure of heart. -Mm-hmm. 109 00:04:47,012 --> 00:04:49,195 (groans softly) 110 00:04:49,197 --> 00:04:52,440 Dad, if you ever want to breathe un-glittered air again, 111 00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:54,684 you have to repent and devote your life to Ashlee. 112 00:04:54,686 --> 00:04:57,629 Oh, you're blowing this out of proportion. 113 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,797 Everything's gonna be f-f... 114 00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,464 (sneezes) 115 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,694 Unrelated. 116 00:05:04,696 --> 00:05:05,879 I got glitter in every fold, 117 00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:08,214 crack and wedge. 118 00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:10,958 I really need the comforting burn 119 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,703 of Flaming Hot Oreos. 120 00:05:13,705 --> 00:05:14,128 (screeching) 121 00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:17,065 (whimpering) 122 00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:18,650 Oh, God. 123 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:23,155 No! 124 00:05:27,219 --> 00:05:29,903 We did it. We have broken him. 125 00:05:29,905 --> 00:05:31,071 You sure you're cool with this? 126 00:05:31,073 --> 00:05:33,165 Totally. My dad has to pay 127 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,293 for what he said about Ashlee. 128 00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:43,008 Great job, Murmur Nation. We've got D'oh-boy on the ropes. 129 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,751 I feel bad for the ropes. 130 00:05:44,753 --> 00:05:47,161 We couldn't have made it this far without you, Lisa. 131 00:05:47,163 --> 00:05:50,757 I'm doing it for Ashlee. I'm a hardcore Starling fan. 132 00:05:50,759 --> 00:05:54,669 She encourages girls everywhere to speak truth to power 133 00:05:54,671 --> 00:05:56,838 and never date John Mayer. 134 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,915 But selling out your own dad? 135 00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:02,694 That is Stone Cold Creamery, and I'll take two scoops. 136 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:06,106 I love my dad, but you guys are my besties. 137 00:06:06,108 --> 00:06:08,683 (gasps) I've never used the plural 138 00:06:08,685 --> 00:06:10,369 of bestie before. 139 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:13,538 Marge, did you get the paper? (groans) 140 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,708 Once again, Marge is out living it up at the grocery store. 141 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,628 (grunting) 142 00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:23,440 Ooh, lawn burger. 143 00:06:23,442 --> 00:06:24,608 Mm? 144 00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:26,343 (grumbling) 145 00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:31,297 (gasps) The mothership. 146 00:06:31,299 --> 00:06:32,707 Mm... 147 00:06:32,709 --> 00:06:34,226 Oh! 148 00:06:36,713 --> 00:06:38,397 (grunts) 149 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:41,458 I'm still waiting on cheese fries. 150 00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,818 (grumbles) 151 00:06:43,645 --> 00:06:45,812 (scoffs) Just as I thought, 152 00:06:45,814 --> 00:06:47,964 Ashlee what's-her-face. 153 00:06:47,966 --> 00:06:49,741 I'm not Ashlee. 154 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,243 Aah! What's your face? 155 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:54,079 I'm pop sensation, U.N. AmbassaDiva 156 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,915 and lip gloss spokesmouth, 157 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,566 -(echoing): Echo. -Mm? 158 00:06:58,568 --> 00:07:02,254 I had my name legally changed to do that. 159 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:05,331 I hear the birdbrain fans of Murmur Nation 160 00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:06,983 have been giving you trouble. 161 00:07:06,985 --> 00:07:09,261 I haven't had a single day's sleep at work. 162 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,747 Miss Ashlee and I have the standard megastar feud. 163 00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:16,493 We released dueling diss tracks then diss sketches on SNL. 164 00:07:16,495 --> 00:07:18,085 We both diss-dated Pete Davidson. 165 00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:21,088 That guy's got big diss energy. 166 00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:23,758 I've always believed the frenemy of my frenemy 167 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,426 -is my ene-friend. -Obviously. 168 00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:29,597 Why don't we team up and clip some Starling wings? 169 00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:31,357 I have my own fan army. 170 00:07:31,359 --> 00:07:34,101 (echoing): The Echolaliacs. 171 00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:37,180 Hmm... An eye for an eye. 172 00:07:37,182 --> 00:07:39,532 (gasps) Everyone wins! 173 00:07:39,534 --> 00:07:40,125 Let's do it. 174 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,777 Oh, careful... 175 00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:44,020 -(gasps) -'Sup, Books. 176 00:07:44,022 --> 00:07:46,614 Ooh, looks like you're making a glitter bomb. 177 00:07:46,616 --> 00:07:48,133 Don't be ridicu... 178 00:07:48,694 --> 00:07:50,026 (coughs) ...lous. 179 00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:52,028 Look, I know you're part of the army 180 00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:53,713 that's driving dad bananas. 181 00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:55,699 -I want in. -No way. 182 00:07:55,701 --> 00:07:57,867 You don't believe in the power of music 183 00:07:57,869 --> 00:07:59,794 and weaponizing breakups. 184 00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,371 Lisa, I have spent years 185 00:08:01,373 --> 00:08:03,707 thinking of ways to screw with dad, 186 00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,967 and they're all right here. 187 00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:08,678 Hmm. Skunk vendors, 188 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,655 atomic whoopee cushions. 189 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:11,898 This is exactly what we need. 190 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,884 But why would you help us? 191 00:08:14,886 --> 00:08:16,069 Because, for the first time, 192 00:08:16,071 --> 00:08:18,663 you have something I want: an army. 193 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,889 I can finally bring my wildest 194 00:08:19,891 --> 00:08:22,726 prank dreams to life on a grand scale. 195 00:08:22,728 --> 00:08:23,910 Like this. I call it 196 00:08:23,912 --> 00:08:27,130 the Alley Oops. 197 00:08:28,825 --> 00:08:30,567 Okay, as soon as the Fat Lebowski 198 00:08:30,569 --> 00:08:33,345 sticks his fingers in the ball, they'll be Krazy-Glued in 199 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,663 and he'll bowl himself down the greased alley 200 00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:37,924 right into the waiting pool of garbage juice. 201 00:08:37,926 --> 00:08:39,500 The pool's in place. 202 00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:42,229 We drained every dumpster in town. 203 00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,440 -Yes! -Got him. 204 00:08:47,419 --> 00:08:49,361 Whoa. What's happening? 205 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,679 Oh, God! My fingers seem to be... 206 00:08:51,681 --> 00:08:53,031 (grunts) 207 00:08:54,109 --> 00:08:56,535 ...great at bowling. 208 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,262 -(gasps) He must be on to us. -Abort! 209 00:08:59,264 --> 00:09:01,689 -Everyone back to HQ. -Go. -But quietly. 210 00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:03,524 My mom's got an Herbalife thing. 211 00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:04,209 Hm? 212 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,861 ♪ 213 00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:07,862 (gasps) 214 00:09:07,864 --> 00:09:09,289 Homer Simpson is now 215 00:09:09,291 --> 00:09:12,625 under the protection of my Echolaliacs. 216 00:09:12,627 --> 00:09:15,470 (echoing): Echolaliacs. 217 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,633 (coughs) They're smoke bombing us 218 00:09:20,635 --> 00:09:22,468 with her signature scent, 219 00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:23,286 Reverb by Echo. 220 00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:26,523 -(coughing) -KID: My lungs! 221 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,144 Your dad has made an alliance with the Echo fan army. 222 00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:33,238 Maybe we should leave him alone. 223 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,465 No. We can't back down. 224 00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:38,059 Ashlee isn't just a singer we like. 225 00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:40,303 She's the photo in our locker. 226 00:09:40,305 --> 00:09:42,155 She's our one and only Google Alert. 227 00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:45,584 She's the tattoo I've been designing 228 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,752 for when I turn 18. 229 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,088 We aren't just fans of Ashlee, 230 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,924 we are Ashlee! 231 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:56,243 ALL: We are Ashlee! 232 00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:58,597 Lis, are you really gonna whip up these psychos 233 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,765 into a full-fledged fan war? 234 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,249 -Yeah. -Cool. 235 00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:06,663 You psychos heard my sister. It's war. 236 00:10:06,665 --> 00:10:08,064 (cheering) 237 00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:12,001 ♪ 238 00:10:12,003 --> 00:10:13,612 -(phone dings) -(grumbles) 239 00:10:16,432 --> 00:10:17,674 (growls) 240 00:10:17,676 --> 00:10:19,525 (grunting) 241 00:10:19,527 --> 00:10:20,360 D'oh! 242 00:10:20,362 --> 00:10:22,287 (grunts, sighs) 243 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,272 The winner is Ashlee Starling. 244 00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:26,791 (cheering, applause) 245 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:27,292 -(grunts) Yoink! -BOTH: Oh! 246 00:10:32,874 --> 00:10:34,633 Huh? (exclaiming) 247 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,863 Ew, carrot. 248 00:10:39,865 --> 00:10:42,382 Glitter war is sparkly hell. 249 00:10:42,384 --> 00:10:44,868 Mrs. Simpson, are you proud of what your husband 250 00:10:44,870 --> 00:10:46,460 -has done to this town? -No. 251 00:10:46,462 --> 00:10:48,037 The thing I hate most about armies, 252 00:10:48,039 --> 00:10:51,816 fan or otherwise, is the mess. 253 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,968 I love my husband, but I disagree 254 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,320 with him about Ashlee. 255 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,731 I listened to one of her albums. It was great. 256 00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:02,643 She sure knows which of her boyfriends were bad for her. 257 00:11:02,645 --> 00:11:04,721 -All of them. -(laughs) 258 00:11:04,723 --> 00:11:07,832 You heard it here first. Ashlee Starling is great, 259 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,151 but not as great as BTS or their fans, 260 00:11:10,153 --> 00:11:13,129 -who are sane and perfect. -Mm-hmm. 261 00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:15,006 I got the family size. 262 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,900 This'll make enough slime to fill his toilet 263 00:11:16,902 --> 00:11:18,568 and his secret toilet. 264 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:19,827 Maybe we could work in 265 00:11:19,829 --> 00:11:22,238 Tabasco toilet paper. 266 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,924 -Whoa, that's messed-up. -Thanks. (chuckles) 267 00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,926 I'm learning from you. (chuckles) 268 00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:29,170 This has been really great. 269 00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:31,597 Who would have thought that you and I could connect 270 00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:34,442 -on such a deep level? -(phone dings) 271 00:11:35,437 --> 00:11:37,011 -You're out of the group. -What?! 272 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,848 Yeah. Mackenzie said you weren't excited enough to meet her dog. 273 00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:43,535 But-but who names their dog Greg? 274 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:44,928 That's a man name. 275 00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:46,854 And why didn't you stand up for me? 276 00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:48,097 Meh, sheroes before bros. 277 00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:52,101 -I'll tell dad everything. -If you do, 278 00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:55,104 then I'll show him your little notebook of pranks. 279 00:11:55,106 --> 00:11:57,790 Dad would be so surprised to learn that the handsome pills 280 00:11:57,792 --> 00:12:00,777 he's been taking are actually 281 00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:03,037 the dog's heartworm medication. 282 00:12:03,039 --> 00:12:04,705 -Oh... -(doorbell rings) 283 00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:07,450 (gasps) 284 00:12:07,452 --> 00:12:08,226 It's the Wingmen! 285 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:12,379 Ashlee Starling's live-in aerialists. 286 00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:13,481 Oh! 287 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,902 Aah! 288 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,129 What? What happened? 289 00:12:20,131 --> 00:12:22,815 Ashlee Starling wants to have dinner with me. 290 00:12:22,817 --> 00:12:24,817 Aah! 291 00:12:24,819 --> 00:12:26,803 She sent a dress for me to wear. 292 00:12:26,805 --> 00:12:29,914 Whee! (grunts) 293 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:33,159 "Hope this fits you, Marge"? 294 00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:35,903 (gasps) It's for me? 295 00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:37,814 She must have heard me tell Kent Brockman 296 00:12:37,816 --> 00:12:39,758 that I listened to her song once. 297 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,818 What? I mean... 298 00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:44,078 (laughs) 299 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,581 I have been a very dedicated fan 300 00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:48,433 since I was four, 301 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:51,752 but you-- you just made one comment. 302 00:12:51,754 --> 00:12:53,087 (laughs) Good for you. 303 00:12:53,089 --> 00:12:57,275 I'm having dinner with a famous person. 304 00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,928 (giggles) I'm team Sparrow. 305 00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,263 It's Starling! 306 00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:05,858 As a great man once said, "Haw-haw." 307 00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:09,028 I can't believe you're having dinner with my nemesis, 308 00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:10,955 after all the handsome pills I take for you. 309 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,291 -(helicopter approaching) -That's my ride. 310 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,417 (gasps) 311 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,779 Hello, Marge. 312 00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:21,282 -I'm Ashlee Starling. -I know. 313 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,968 We hired a look-alike of you for Lisa's birthday. 314 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:27,697 You're taller. She had bigger boobs. 315 00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:29,882 Ooh, thank you. 316 00:13:29,884 --> 00:13:31,810 -Ooh, wow! -(chuckles) 317 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,370 It's my own line of sparkling whiskey. 318 00:13:34,372 --> 00:13:35,647 Mmm, yum. 319 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:36,797 Mmm, mmm. (smacks lips) 320 00:13:36,799 --> 00:13:39,651 Look at your sweet family. 321 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,968 I'm sure your husband 322 00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:42,320 -is perfect. -(kids growling) -Stop it! 323 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,062 (laughs) 324 00:13:43,214 --> 00:13:46,399 Homer is far from perfect. 325 00:13:46,401 --> 00:13:49,494 Really? Tell me everything. 326 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,571 Mmm, ooh. 327 00:13:51,573 --> 00:13:53,122 (grunting) 328 00:13:58,821 --> 00:14:00,213 (laughs) 329 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,674 Ashlee said the funniest thing at dinner. 330 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,825 No one wants to hear about your thrilling night 331 00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:05,735 with a vengeful pop diva. 332 00:14:05,737 --> 00:14:08,162 Lisa, sweetie, delight us 333 00:14:08,164 --> 00:14:10,515 with one of your little stories about how the planet 334 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,665 is choking on plastic. 335 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,576 Don't "sweetie" her. 336 00:14:13,578 --> 00:14:15,336 She's the one behind those Murmur Nation 337 00:14:15,338 --> 00:14:17,004 -attacks on you. -(gasps) 338 00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:19,190 (gasps) Lisa. Wh... 339 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,343 But you're the one kid I had on purpose. 340 00:14:22,345 --> 00:14:26,865 Well, Bart was part of it, too, and he doesn't even like Ashlee. 341 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,758 He did it just for the fun of torturing you. 342 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,184 (gasps) You? 343 00:14:30,186 --> 00:14:32,945 The person I would most suspect? 344 00:14:32,947 --> 00:14:35,765 I never could have seen it coming. 345 00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:38,042 Kids, how could you do that to your father? 346 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:41,713 What? You're the worst betrayer of all. 347 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,698 Dad, you should see the video Ashlee just dropped 348 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:47,051 after her night of girl talk 349 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,720 with Mom. 350 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,430 ♪ 351 00:14:58,123 --> 00:15:01,140 ♪ When we first got together ♪ 352 00:15:01,142 --> 00:15:03,568 ♪ I didn't see your flaws ♪ 353 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,978 ♪ But then I saw you eating ChapStick ♪ 354 00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:08,131 ♪ And it kind of gave me pause ♪ 355 00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:11,651 ♪ Your man-boobs you call cha-chis ♪ 356 00:15:11,653 --> 00:15:13,727 ♪ Your fontanelle that never fused ♪ 357 00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:16,063 ♪ When I thought that you were perfect ♪ 358 00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:19,542 ♪ I must've been confused ♪ 359 00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:23,237 ♪ And it's hard to ignore it ♪ 360 00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:27,408 ♪ When you burp-talk in your sleep ♪ 361 00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:28,760 ♪ Somehow, you've got athlete's foot ♪ 362 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:32,597 ♪ On both of your knees ♪ 363 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,748 ♪ Whoa, oh ♪ 364 00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,008 ♪ Oh ♪ 365 00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:39,771 ♪ We had dinner with my sisters ♪ 366 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,165 ♪ And it turned into a fight ♪ 367 00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:44,425 ♪ You kept insisting that the Moon ♪ 368 00:15:44,427 --> 00:15:47,336 ♪ Was just the Sun at night ♪ 369 00:15:47,338 --> 00:15:48,780 ♪ Seeing you the way they do ♪ 370 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:52,008 ♪ Makes me realize ♪ 371 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:55,662 ♪ You're far from perfect ♪ 372 00:15:57,031 --> 00:16:00,183 ♪ When we moved in together ♪ 373 00:16:00,185 --> 00:16:02,702 ♪ I learned things I never knew ♪ 374 00:16:02,704 --> 00:16:05,463 ♪ That you sit for number one ♪ 375 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,173 ♪ But you stand for number two ♪ 376 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,709 ♪ Not even close, it's kind of gross. ♪ 377 00:16:09,711 --> 00:16:12,361 That last one is not true. 378 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:14,455 I hover 'cause I'm afraid of being flushed. 379 00:16:14,457 --> 00:16:16,365 Oh, my God. 380 00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:17,475 Ashlee took the things I told her 381 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,959 in new-friend confidence 382 00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:23,314 and made it into a bad boyfriend song. 383 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,632 This has been quite the morning. 384 00:16:25,634 --> 00:16:28,561 But I'm most disappointed in you, Maggie. 385 00:16:28,563 --> 00:16:30,062 Mm? Eh? 386 00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:33,324 Evil triumphs when good babies do nothing. 387 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,368 I'm leaving. 388 00:16:36,738 --> 00:16:39,905 Homer? What happened? Aw. 389 00:16:39,907 --> 00:16:42,408 I can't believe they would do this to me. 390 00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:43,726 Hey, could I use 391 00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:46,987 your billion-dollar entertainment complex 392 00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:49,732 to produce a diss track to take them all down? 393 00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:51,067 You should be careful with that. 394 00:16:51,069 --> 00:16:53,327 When my dermatologist wouldn't fly to Japan 395 00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:54,661 to remove a culturally insensitive mole, 396 00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:57,256 I hit him with my single 397 00:16:57,258 --> 00:16:59,592 "Mole Check, Soul Check." 398 00:16:59,594 --> 00:17:01,502 It destroyed him. 399 00:17:01,504 --> 00:17:03,837 Do you want to do that to your family? 400 00:17:03,839 --> 00:17:06,249 No. I love them. 401 00:17:06,251 --> 00:17:09,527 Homer, music isn't just for dissing people. 402 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,011 Wha...?! 403 00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:13,013 Why don't we make a video that tells your family 404 00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:13,923 how much they hurt you? 405 00:17:13,925 --> 00:17:16,759 An "I've been dissed" track, 406 00:17:16,761 --> 00:17:19,537 -if you will. -I will. 407 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,875 It's been three days. 408 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,527 Dad's never stayed mad this long. 409 00:17:26,529 --> 00:17:28,604 Maybe we should run the can opener. 410 00:17:28,606 --> 00:17:30,606 He always comes when he hears that. 411 00:17:30,608 --> 00:17:31,607 I tried that already. 412 00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:33,943 -(whimpers) -(burps) 413 00:17:33,945 --> 00:17:38,038 Tomorrow, we'll start calling theme park jails. 414 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,707 -Homie! -Dad! -Where you been? 415 00:17:40,709 --> 00:17:42,060 -LISA: Hmm? -MARGE: Hmm. 416 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,973 ♪ One opinionated man ♪ 417 00:17:47,975 --> 00:17:49,959 ♪ Doesn't stand a chance ♪ 418 00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:52,812 -♪ Against an army of tweens ♪ -ECHO: ♪ Damn tweens ♪ 419 00:17:52,814 --> 00:17:55,798 ♪ It's like trying to fight an angry hill of ants ♪ 420 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,224 ♪ Flying on the backs ♪ 421 00:17:57,226 --> 00:18:02,138 -♪ Of killer bees ♪ -ECHO: ♪ Killer bees ♪ 422 00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:03,823 HOMER: ♪ I don't change ♪ 423 00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:06,567 ♪ My shorts no more ♪ 424 00:18:06,569 --> 00:18:08,144 ♪ Glitter bombs inside my ♪ 425 00:18:08,146 --> 00:18:10,404 -♪ Undie drawer ♪ -ECHO: ♪ Undie drawer ♪ 426 00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:13,073 ♪ The word "family" has a bitter ring ♪ 427 00:18:13,075 --> 00:18:14,667 ECHO: ♪ Bitter ring ♪ 428 00:18:14,669 --> 00:18:16,928 HOMER: ♪ It's my family who's been ♪ 429 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,347 -♪ Glittering ♪ -ECHO: ♪ Glittering ♪ 430 00:18:21,326 --> 00:18:23,017 ♪ It's my family ♪ 431 00:18:28,757 --> 00:18:29,682 Breakfast and betrayal. 432 00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:32,443 Pancakes bitter in my mouth, 433 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,596 yet I ate seven. 434 00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:36,856 You sent an army 435 00:18:36,858 --> 00:18:40,601 against those who are me. 436 00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:42,528 You three took. 437 00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:43,863 Three-took, 438 00:18:43,865 --> 00:18:46,607 the opposite of for-give. 439 00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:50,002 Yet, I forgive. 440 00:18:54,859 --> 00:18:58,361 -♪ Marge ♪ -ECHO: ♪ You brought joy and dinner to my life ♪ 441 00:18:58,363 --> 00:19:00,863 ♪ You're still a Fudgie Whale of a wife ♪ 442 00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:03,716 -♪ Even when I do things wrong ♪ -HOMER: I wrong do things! 443 00:19:03,718 --> 00:19:07,203 ECHO: ♪ Like pass out on the lawn at crack of dawn ♪ 444 00:19:07,205 --> 00:19:09,205 -HOMER: ♪ Bart ♪ -ECHO: ♪ This verse goes out to Bartholomew ♪ 445 00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:11,390 -HOMER: Why, you little...! -ECHO: ♪ When I smell mothballs ♪ 446 00:19:11,392 --> 00:19:12,875 ♪ Now I think beef stew ♪ 447 00:19:12,877 --> 00:19:16,562 ♪ Why, you little... You ♪ 448 00:19:16,564 --> 00:19:19,064 ♪ You're kind of cool, stay in school ♪ 449 00:19:19,066 --> 00:19:21,993 -HOMER: ♪ Lisa ♪ -ECHO: ♪ You don't suffer fools or eat baloney ♪ 450 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,496 -HOMER: ♪ Mmm, baloney ♪ -ECHO: ♪ Just jamming on your brass saxo-ma-phony ♪ 451 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,874 ♪ You're my little lampshade girl ♪ 452 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:32,503 ♪ In white pearls, you're my world ♪ 453 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,413 ♪ 'Cause we ♪ 454 00:19:34,415 --> 00:19:37,175 ♪ Me, you three and Maggie ♪ 455 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,084 ♪ Can bring this war down ♪ 456 00:19:39,086 --> 00:19:40,569 HOMER: ♪ Can bring this war down ♪ 457 00:19:40,571 --> 00:19:43,997 ECHO: ♪ Can bring this war down, we, me ♪ 458 00:19:43,999 --> 00:19:46,333 ♪ You three and Maggie ♪ 459 00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:49,578 -♪ Will be okay now ♪ -HOMER: ♪ Will be okay now ♪ 460 00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:51,931 ECHO: ♪ We going to be okay now, if we ♪ 461 00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:55,509 ♪ Me, you three and Maggie ♪ 462 00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:57,695 -♪ Just stick together ♪ -HOMER: ♪ If we just ♪ 463 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:58,696 ♪ If we stick together ♪ 464 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,533 ECHO: ♪ We, me ♪ 465 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,778 ♪ You three and Maggie could stop ♪ 466 00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:09,207 ♪ A meltdown ♪ 467 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,392 To stop this war, 468 00:20:11,394 --> 00:20:13,527 we don't need a grand gesture. 469 00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:15,604 We don't need to make a stand. 470 00:20:15,606 --> 00:20:20,109 We just need to sit down together. 471 00:20:20,111 --> 00:20:21,868 (crying) 472 00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:24,204 I'm sorry I betrayed you. 473 00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:27,450 We're all sorry Lisa betrayed you. 474 00:20:27,452 --> 00:20:29,042 ALL: Mm. 475 00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:30,636 LISA: Sorry! Accident. 476 00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:31,804 Forgot where I put them all. 477 00:20:31,806 --> 00:20:33,880 There's probably more. 478 00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:34,899 (all coughing) 479 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,476 LISA: That's gonna happen for a while. 480 00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:39,645 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 481 00:20:39,647 --> 00:20:41,054 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 482 00:20:41,056 --> 00:20:42,556 and TOYOTA. 483 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,533 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 484 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,307 -(doorbell rings) -Mr. Simpson, 485 00:20:51,309 --> 00:20:54,085 the Murmur Nation has decided to stop attacking you. 486 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,160 My video made you think, huh? 487 00:20:55,162 --> 00:20:57,997 No. It was super cringe, 488 00:20:57,999 --> 00:21:00,240 like watching two teachers make out. 489 00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:01,650 I understand. Been a pleasure doing war with you. 490 00:21:01,652 --> 00:21:06,097 May psychotic super-fandom always lend meaning 491 00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:09,433 to your otherwise anonymous existence. 492 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,659 BOY: Hmm. 493 00:21:10,661 --> 00:21:12,419 (all grunting) 494 00:21:12,421 --> 00:21:15,255 It's crazy that I believed in someone 495 00:21:15,257 --> 00:21:19,092 so much that I got swallowed up in groupthink. 496 00:21:19,094 --> 00:21:21,445 I know. So scary. 497 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,764 (gasps) Oh, my God, we're late for church! 498 00:21:23,766 --> 00:21:26,659 I'll get nice, crisp dollars for the donation basket. 499 00:21:28,863 --> 00:21:30,204 Shh.