1 00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:25,594 D'oh! 2 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:44,400 ♪ The Simpsons 25x07 ♪ Yellow Subterfuge Original Air Date on December 8, 2013 3 00:00:44,425 --> 00:00:49,425 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 4 00:00:52,755 --> 00:00:54,389 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 5 00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:55,757 ♪ Skinner 6 00:00:55,791 --> 00:01:00,262 ♪ He patrols the school halls 7 00:01:00,296 --> 00:01:02,297 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 8 00:01:02,331 --> 00:01:05,634 ♪ When you spit, he's got the balls ♪ 9 00:01:07,436 --> 00:01:10,505 ♪ As you mosey through the school ♪ 10 00:01:10,539 --> 00:01:13,475 ♪ All the kids say you're so cool ♪ 11 00:01:13,509 --> 00:01:16,544 ♪ And you even made 12 00:01:16,579 --> 00:01:19,648 ♪ Bart Simpson spill his milk 13 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,818 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 14 00:01:23,853 --> 00:01:25,453 ♪ Skinner 15 00:01:25,488 --> 00:01:27,289 ♪ You're the master 16 00:01:27,323 --> 00:01:33,161 ♪ Of your fate...! 17 00:01:35,531 --> 00:01:36,765 Skinner! 18 00:01:36,799 --> 00:01:39,134 ♪ Skinner 19 00:01:39,168 --> 00:01:41,469 ♪ You sure look good in chaps ♪ 20 00:01:41,504 --> 00:01:42,804 ♪ Skinner... 21 00:01:42,838 --> 00:01:45,373 Wake up. You're on! 22 00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:48,943 Children, I have some exciting news. 23 00:01:50,346 --> 00:01:53,214 I'm here to tell you about a field trip so amazing, 24 00:01:53,249 --> 00:01:55,483 we've put "sign here" stickers on the permission slips. 25 00:01:55,518 --> 00:01:58,953 As you recall, these stickers came from last year's field trip 26 00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:00,655 to the "sign here" sticker factory. 27 00:02:00,690 --> 00:02:02,791 But thanks to my old navy buddy-- 28 00:02:02,825 --> 00:02:06,027 we both love to shop at Old Navy-- 29 00:02:06,062 --> 00:02:09,030 the students of this school will be taking a ride 30 00:02:09,065 --> 00:02:10,699 on a nuclear-powered, attack-class submarine, 31 00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:13,902 the USS Tom Clancy! 32 00:02:24,947 --> 00:02:25,914 So you're all excited, eh? 33 00:02:25,948 --> 00:02:27,349 Yay! 34 00:02:27,383 --> 00:02:28,650 Well, that's too bad, 35 00:02:28,684 --> 00:02:30,352 because many of you will not be going. 36 00:02:30,386 --> 00:02:31,386 Huh?! 37 00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,821 There's limited room 38 00:02:32,855 --> 00:02:35,056 on the submarine, so only the best-behaved students-- 39 00:02:35,091 --> 00:02:37,225 as determined by me-- 40 00:02:37,259 --> 00:02:38,893 will go on the trip. 41 00:02:42,398 --> 00:02:43,765 Whoo-hoo! Well, I get to go! 42 00:02:43,799 --> 00:02:45,233 To increase the tension, 43 00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:46,868 everyone starts with a clean slate. 44 00:02:46,902 --> 00:02:49,270 But from this moment on... 45 00:02:49,305 --> 00:02:51,272 I am the law. 46 00:02:51,307 --> 00:02:53,007 I hold the red pen. 47 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,543 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 48 00:02:55,578 --> 00:02:58,947 Pranks, inside use of outside voice, off-color whistling, 49 00:02:58,981 --> 00:03:01,182 and you're stricken from the list. 50 00:03:01,217 --> 00:03:04,119 And once crossed off, you stay crossed off. 51 00:03:04,153 --> 00:03:06,454 That's what pens do. 52 00:03:15,798 --> 00:03:19,200 Help! I'm trapped in space with a man I don't like! 53 00:03:19,235 --> 00:03:20,535 Aooga! 54 00:03:20,569 --> 00:03:22,871 Submerge! Periscope! 55 00:03:22,905 --> 00:03:24,305 Aooga! Aooga! 56 00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:25,874 Die, Nazi octopus, die! 57 00:03:29,979 --> 00:03:31,880 Sweetie, about the submarine... 58 00:03:31,914 --> 00:03:34,282 what's your favorite food to eat when you're disappointed? 59 00:03:34,316 --> 00:03:35,917 I'm going shopping tomorrow. 60 00:03:35,951 --> 00:03:38,486 Ice cream sandwiches. Why? 61 00:03:38,521 --> 00:03:40,422 What your mother is trying to say 62 00:03:40,456 --> 00:03:42,824 is we don't think you can be good that long. 63 00:03:42,858 --> 00:03:44,959 Mom, is that true? 64 00:03:44,994 --> 00:03:48,263 Well, that's sort of what I was trying to say, but... 65 00:03:48,297 --> 00:03:50,632 What your mother is trying to say is... 66 00:03:50,666 --> 00:03:53,101 No, you're wrong! You're all wrong! 67 00:03:53,135 --> 00:03:54,469 I didn't say anything. 68 00:03:54,503 --> 00:03:56,805 Were you thinking it? Yes. 69 00:03:56,839 --> 00:03:58,573 Get real, ding-dong! 70 00:03:58,607 --> 00:04:00,341 You've already done so much bad stuff, 71 00:04:00,376 --> 00:04:02,577 Skinner's never gonna let you on that boat. 72 00:04:02,611 --> 00:04:04,279 No, Skinner said I had a clean slate, 73 00:04:04,313 --> 00:04:06,448 so right now, I'm as good as any other kid. 74 00:04:10,553 --> 00:04:12,120 Good one, ding-dong. 75 00:04:12,154 --> 00:04:13,822 Mom! 76 00:04:13,856 --> 00:04:15,990 Don't listen to them. They're the ding-dongs. 77 00:04:16,025 --> 00:04:17,091 Wha...?! 78 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,561 Bart, sweetie, this is an opportunity 79 00:04:19,595 --> 00:04:22,030 for you to turn things around yet again. 80 00:04:22,064 --> 00:04:24,132 And I believe in you. 81 00:04:24,166 --> 00:04:25,667 Yet again. 82 00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:27,368 Thanks, Mom. 83 00:04:27,403 --> 00:04:29,471 I'll start by taking my plate to the dishwasher. 84 00:04:29,505 --> 00:04:30,805 Wherever that is. 85 00:04:33,042 --> 00:04:34,275 Pfft. Marge, 86 00:04:34,310 --> 00:04:36,177 I love Bart as much as you do, 87 00:04:36,212 --> 00:04:37,545 but actually not. 88 00:04:37,580 --> 00:04:39,214 And that kid cannot go one week 89 00:04:39,248 --> 00:04:40,515 without getting in trouble. 90 00:04:40,549 --> 00:04:43,551 Now, if you'd be so kind as to start my car for me, 91 00:04:43,586 --> 00:04:44,786 I'm going to Moe's. 92 00:04:48,057 --> 00:04:49,691 Ooh. 93 00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:52,627 Thank you. 94 00:04:54,029 --> 00:04:56,231 Whoo-hoo! 95 00:04:56,265 --> 00:04:58,533 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm! 96 00:04:58,567 --> 00:05:00,168 What are you doing? 97 00:05:00,202 --> 00:05:01,603 To avoid temptation, I'm getting rid 98 00:05:01,637 --> 00:05:04,105 of all the things that could get me in trouble at school. 99 00:05:04,139 --> 00:05:06,474 I buried all my whoopee cushions in the backyard. 100 00:05:09,211 --> 00:05:11,212 Hmm? 101 00:05:13,082 --> 00:05:14,949 What the...? 102 00:05:14,984 --> 00:05:16,417 That's not where I buried them. 103 00:05:16,452 --> 00:05:17,719 Come on! 104 00:05:19,088 --> 00:05:21,222 Don't take my custom limo! 105 00:05:21,257 --> 00:05:24,592 At least let me sniff my coke out of the floor mats! 106 00:05:28,297 --> 00:05:29,864 Oh, hi, little girl. 107 00:05:29,899 --> 00:05:32,734 What brings you to see Uncle Krusty? 108 00:05:32,768 --> 00:05:34,536 Krusty, are you broke? 109 00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:35,770 Yeah. All it takes 110 00:05:35,804 --> 00:05:37,605 is some bad luck at the ponies, 111 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,374 worse luck in the Bitcoin market, 112 00:05:39,408 --> 00:05:42,410 heavy investment in a high-end bookmark company. 113 00:05:42,444 --> 00:05:44,913 You could do what Everybody Loves Raymond did. 114 00:05:44,947 --> 00:05:46,881 Go off the air while I'm still good? 115 00:05:46,916 --> 00:05:49,717 That horse has left the stable, gone to the glue factory 116 00:05:49,752 --> 00:05:52,620 and has been used to make art projects. 117 00:05:52,655 --> 00:05:55,623 I mean, you could sell foreign rights to your show. 118 00:05:55,658 --> 00:05:56,958 Even SpongeBob did it. 119 00:05:58,661 --> 00:06:01,462 Buon compleanno, Squiduardo! 120 00:06:01,497 --> 00:06:03,164 No, no, no, Roberto! 121 00:06:03,198 --> 00:06:07,101 E 'una mina della seconda guerra mondiale, 122 00:06:07,136 --> 00:06:09,537 che farà saltare in aria e... Ah! 123 00:06:10,606 --> 00:06:12,340 Calamari?! 124 00:06:12,374 --> 00:06:13,741 No...! 125 00:06:13,776 --> 00:06:15,977 No! 126 00:06:17,146 --> 00:06:18,613 Uh... it's cute stuff, 127 00:06:18,647 --> 00:06:20,415 but I'm still broke, girlie. 128 00:06:20,449 --> 00:06:21,916 Not my Monet! 129 00:06:21,951 --> 00:06:23,484 I only looked at it once! 130 00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:25,019 What I'm saying is, 131 00:06:25,054 --> 00:06:27,989 you could produce foreign versions of your TV show 132 00:06:28,023 --> 00:06:29,624 with actors from other countries. 133 00:06:29,658 --> 00:06:31,526 Okay, I'll do it! 134 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,128 Not my Shetland dolphin! 135 00:06:34,163 --> 00:06:36,297 Although I won't miss the constant yapping. 136 00:06:36,332 --> 00:06:38,032 Papa! 137 00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:40,568 Not anymore, he ain't. 138 00:06:58,387 --> 00:07:00,655 Gum on the floor. Off the list. 139 00:07:03,759 --> 00:07:06,995 Unauthorized meat-a-pult. Off the list! 140 00:07:07,029 --> 00:07:08,796 Lips touching the fountain. 141 00:07:08,831 --> 00:07:10,698 Off the list. 142 00:07:10,733 --> 00:07:13,201 It's not my fault there's no water pressure. 143 00:07:13,235 --> 00:07:16,471 Excuses are like handkerchiefs; everybody's got one. 144 00:07:16,505 --> 00:07:18,006 I don't have a handkerchief. 145 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,173 Off the list! 146 00:07:19,208 --> 00:07:20,908 Firm but fair, sir. 147 00:07:20,943 --> 00:07:23,678 Don't want any troublemakers on our submarine. 148 00:07:23,712 --> 00:07:26,014 Not bad, Simpson. Did you wash your knees? 149 00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:27,348 Front and back, sir. 150 00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:31,419 You're like egg salad at a picnic, Simpson. 151 00:07:31,453 --> 00:07:34,922 Even when you look good, we know you're going bad. 152 00:07:34,957 --> 00:07:36,190 Principal Skinner? 153 00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:38,593 I object to this arbitrary use of power 154 00:07:38,627 --> 00:07:40,695 and request I be taken off the list. 155 00:07:40,729 --> 00:07:41,896 Off the list! 156 00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:43,097 Thank you. 157 00:07:46,402 --> 00:07:49,237 Oh, man! Five days without pranking? 158 00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,572 I'm getting strange red marks. 159 00:07:51,607 --> 00:07:52,840 But I'm gonna make it! 160 00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:56,844 Uh-oh. 161 00:07:56,879 --> 00:07:59,047 Something's wrong with my long yellow car. 162 00:08:00,082 --> 00:08:01,683 Any of you kids got a Triple A card? 163 00:08:02,885 --> 00:08:04,952 What? No. I'll be late. 164 00:08:04,987 --> 00:08:07,088 Skinner will cross my name off the list. 165 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,707 All fixed up! 166 00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:43,491 Off the list. 167 00:08:43,525 --> 00:08:45,326 For what? 168 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,795 Muddy footprints on the school floor. 169 00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:49,897 I've broken a ten-year-old's spirit. 170 00:08:49,932 --> 00:08:51,332 Time to celebrate 171 00:08:51,366 --> 00:08:53,568 with a fruit- on-the-bottom yogurt. 172 00:08:53,602 --> 00:08:56,304 Plain, plain, plain, plain... 173 00:08:56,338 --> 00:08:58,272 Mmm! Fruit! 174 00:09:06,068 --> 00:09:09,170 No, Mother, I did not use any of your talc. 175 00:09:09,204 --> 00:09:11,439 I don't know why the bottle feels lighter. 176 00:09:11,473 --> 00:09:13,474 Maybe you're just getting stronger! 177 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,444 Some days I could just kill you. 178 00:09:18,213 --> 00:09:19,447 She heard me. 179 00:09:19,481 --> 00:09:20,615 Hello? 180 00:09:20,649 --> 00:09:22,409 Hold for the president. 181 00:09:22,418 --> 00:09:24,619 This is... Barack Obama! 182 00:09:24,653 --> 00:09:25,853 Is this a prank? 183 00:09:25,888 --> 00:09:27,155 No. 184 00:09:27,189 --> 00:09:29,057 That's offensive. 185 00:09:29,091 --> 00:09:30,558 I want to... talk about... submarines... 186 00:09:30,592 --> 00:09:31,526 and trips. 187 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,994 Simpson... has to go. 188 00:09:33,028 --> 00:09:35,129 Simpson... has to go... 189 00:09:35,164 --> 00:09:37,332 on the... submarine. On the... submarine. 190 00:09:37,366 --> 00:09:38,333 Of course. 191 00:09:39,668 --> 00:09:41,836 This is... Barack Obama! 192 00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:44,372 ♪ So in love with you... 193 00:09:44,406 --> 00:09:45,707 I like Ohio State... 194 00:09:45,741 --> 00:09:47,342 You can put lipstick on a pig... 195 00:09:47,376 --> 00:09:49,544 ♪ So in love with you... 196 00:09:51,347 --> 00:09:52,880 Welcome. 197 00:09:52,915 --> 00:09:55,049 Welcome, foreign-market Krustys. 198 00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,518 If you examine your "Krusty Kit," 199 00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:59,554 you're gonna find unremovable green hair dye, 200 00:09:59,588 --> 00:10:01,322 a used red nose 201 00:10:01,357 --> 00:10:04,158 and a guidebook on how to capture a monkey. 202 00:10:04,193 --> 00:10:07,428 But now, the man they call Mr. Monday Afternoon... 203 00:10:07,463 --> 00:10:08,863 Krusty! 204 00:10:08,897 --> 00:10:10,498 Hey-hey! 205 00:10:10,532 --> 00:10:11,466 Hai-hai! Hu-hu! Heil-heil! 206 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,900 Rodgrod med Flode! 207 00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:15,770 Now, there are many words for what I'm looking for-- 208 00:10:15,804 --> 00:10:20,208 rubles, renminbi, baht-- but they all mean money, 209 00:10:20,242 --> 00:10:23,277 which rhymes with funny, which you can be if you want. 210 00:10:23,312 --> 00:10:24,379 I don't care. 211 00:10:24,413 --> 00:10:26,381 Just do the Krusty show in your country 212 00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:28,182 and send me ten percent. 213 00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:30,251 Then send me another 60%. 214 00:10:30,285 --> 00:10:32,920 Then five percent more, and you're good. 215 00:10:38,394 --> 00:10:39,494 Nice job, Simpson. 216 00:10:39,528 --> 00:10:41,129 You even got my Suze Orman tape 217 00:10:41,163 --> 00:10:42,630 unstuck from the cassette player. 218 00:10:42,664 --> 00:10:45,533 She's the reason I was able to purchase a new watch band. 219 00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:48,302 Always bragging about his watch band. 220 00:10:49,371 --> 00:10:51,038 If only I could tell time. 221 00:10:51,073 --> 00:10:53,374 Okay, I washed your car like you asked, 222 00:10:53,409 --> 00:10:55,410 I did your paper rte, and I'm sorry. 223 00:10:55,444 --> 00:10:56,744 I really am. 224 00:10:56,779 --> 00:10:58,579 This could be the turning point of my life. 225 00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,615 Where you, as a school guy, made a difference. 226 00:11:00,649 --> 00:11:01,883 What do you think? 227 00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:03,518 Can I go on that sub? 228 00:11:05,654 --> 00:11:06,888 Sorry, Simpson. 229 00:11:06,922 --> 00:11:09,056 Take her down. 230 00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:10,758 Yay! 231 00:11:16,131 --> 00:11:17,498 Yay! 232 00:11:17,533 --> 00:11:19,000 Yippee! 233 00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:20,301 Poor Bart. 234 00:11:25,107 --> 00:11:28,476 Rasta hey-hey, on the left-hand side. 235 00:11:29,511 --> 00:11:31,145 As my mother used to say, 236 00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:32,413 "Wanti wanti can't get it, 237 00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,282 getti getti no want it." 238 00:11:34,316 --> 00:11:37,251 Now here's Itchem and Scratchem, mon. 239 00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:42,590 ♪ They smoke 240 00:11:42,624 --> 00:11:43,958 ♪ They toke 241 00:11:43,992 --> 00:11:46,294 ♪ They smoke and toke and smoke ♪ 242 00:11:46,328 --> 00:11:47,295 ♪ Ha! 243 00:11:47,329 --> 00:11:48,996 ♪ Smoke, smoke, smoke 244 00:11:49,031 --> 00:11:51,466 ♪ Toke, toke, toke 245 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:57,171 ♪ The Itchem and Scratchem Blow. ♪ 246 00:12:05,848 --> 00:12:08,683 Eye and eye say good-bye. 247 00:12:08,717 --> 00:12:11,319 The blessings of Jah upon you all. 248 00:12:12,087 --> 00:12:13,354 Nice. 249 00:12:13,388 --> 00:12:15,056 You're a hit all over the world. 250 00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:18,025 There's Chinese Krusty with Sideshow Mao. 251 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,894 Even Irish Krusty. 252 00:12:19,928 --> 00:12:21,629 Me ma, she had 12 children, 253 00:12:21,663 --> 00:12:23,064 but only three lived. 254 00:12:23,098 --> 00:12:24,699 Then they closed the mill. 255 00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,401 Hey-hey. 256 00:12:32,608 --> 00:12:34,976 And it's all thanks to you, kid. 257 00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:36,344 To show my appreciation, 258 00:12:36,378 --> 00:12:37,712 I'm gonna bring you with me 259 00:12:37,746 --> 00:12:39,514 next time I entertain the troops. 260 00:12:39,548 --> 00:12:42,216 they're not American troops. 261 00:12:50,893 --> 00:12:52,093 Hello, boy. 262 00:12:52,127 --> 00:12:53,361 At times like this, 263 00:12:53,395 --> 00:12:54,929 there's not much you can say, 264 00:12:54,963 --> 00:12:56,764 especially if you don't know what happened. 265 00:12:58,066 --> 00:13:00,101 Skinner didn't let me go. 266 00:13:00,135 --> 00:13:01,769 Really? 267 00:13:01,803 --> 00:13:04,372 Hey, I bet that submarine isn't so fun anyway. 268 00:13:05,641 --> 00:13:06,874 You think so? 269 00:13:06,909 --> 00:13:08,609 Fire that torpedo, Milhouse. 270 00:13:08,644 --> 00:13:10,344 Aye, aye. 271 00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:11,879 Where'd it go? 272 00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:13,347 It was just imaginary. 273 00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:14,582 I know a kid should never 274 00:13:14,616 --> 00:13:15,950 turn to his father for help, 275 00:13:15,984 --> 00:13:17,552 but I got screwed. 276 00:13:17,586 --> 00:13:19,220 Is there anything you can do? 277 00:13:22,558 --> 00:13:23,758 As I always say, 278 00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:25,359 don't get mad; get dinner. 279 00:13:25,394 --> 00:13:27,128 Then get even. 280 00:13:27,162 --> 00:13:29,130 With Skinner. 281 00:13:29,164 --> 00:13:31,365 You'll really help me get revenge? 282 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,600 Yes. 283 00:13:32,634 --> 00:13:34,368 What's Skinner's weakness? 284 00:13:34,403 --> 00:13:35,603 Everything. 285 00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:36,871 Good. 286 00:13:36,905 --> 00:13:38,639 We can use that. 287 00:13:40,409 --> 00:13:41,943 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 288 00:13:41,977 --> 00:13:43,377 ♪ Skinner ♪ 289 00:13:43,412 --> 00:13:47,882 ♪ You are feeling pretty smug ♪ 290 00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:50,885 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 291 00:13:50,919 --> 00:13:54,622 ♪ Sipping cocoa from a mug ♪ 292 00:13:54,656 --> 00:13:58,626 ♪ When you've reached the mountaintop ♪ 293 00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:01,395 ♪ Your next step is a drop. ♪ 294 00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:10,438 No, no, no, no, no! 295 00:14:10,472 --> 00:14:12,506 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 296 00:14:17,618 --> 00:14:19,585 I'll be right there. 297 00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,621 Just saying good-bye to Mother. 298 00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:24,056 Seymour, I'm going out for a walk. 299 00:14:24,091 --> 00:14:26,525 Uh-huh, see you in several months at the soonest. 300 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,468 We have a problem, Seymour. 301 00:14:35,502 --> 00:14:36,736 I did everything for you 302 00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:38,971 and you stabbed me in the back. 303 00:14:39,006 --> 00:14:42,108 Wait a minute, I knew you were a neat freak, Skinner, 304 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:44,443 but you beat your rug till it bleeds? 305 00:14:47,881 --> 00:14:49,749 All right, I'll come clean. 306 00:14:49,783 --> 00:14:53,185 I woke up and, surprisingly, Mother wasn't there beside me. 307 00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:55,521 She was dead. 308 00:14:56,923 --> 00:14:59,358 Still, I can't be sure I killed her. 309 00:14:59,393 --> 00:15:01,861 Well, I'm sure our town's police force 310 00:15:01,895 --> 00:15:04,297 will handle this competently. 311 00:15:08,068 --> 00:15:10,036 Now, I could investigate further, 312 00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:12,838 but you don't want to sit in a jail all weekend. 313 00:15:12,873 --> 00:15:15,875 Chief, that was awfully arbitrary. 314 00:15:15,909 --> 00:15:17,510 Not compared to this. 315 00:15:21,982 --> 00:15:23,149 Let me handle this. 316 00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:24,850 Just go upstairs and shut the door. 317 00:15:24,885 --> 00:15:28,554 There are some things only a boy should see. 318 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:42,802 Now do you want to dispose of this jelly-soaked pillow? 319 00:15:42,836 --> 00:15:45,271 Just call me The Cleaner. 320 00:15:53,447 --> 00:15:55,081 Um, where's the body? 321 00:15:55,115 --> 00:15:56,615 She's in a better place. 322 00:16:00,854 --> 00:16:02,755 The deed is done. 323 00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:04,523 Oh, I wish you'd asked me before you... 324 00:16:04,558 --> 00:16:06,492 Look, you kill them, I get rid of them. 325 00:16:06,526 --> 00:16:07,760 That's always been our deal. 326 00:16:07,794 --> 00:16:09,061 But I do have one question: 327 00:16:09,096 --> 00:16:10,363 Do you want the head? 328 00:16:10,397 --> 00:16:12,264 No, no, God, no. 329 00:16:12,299 --> 00:16:14,533 Well, if you change your mind, it'll be in my freezer. 330 00:16:14,568 --> 00:16:15,801 But only for a week. 331 00:16:15,836 --> 00:16:17,536 Got a lot of ice cream coming in. 332 00:16:17,571 --> 00:16:20,606 Ugh, if this were a movie, Mother wouldn't let me watch it. 333 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,209 Now, I'm afraid it's time to start your new life. 334 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:25,411 You'll be hunted, on the run, 335 00:16:25,445 --> 00:16:27,613 searching for the man who killed your mother, 336 00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:29,448 which is you. So avoid mirrors. 337 00:16:33,754 --> 00:16:35,955 Krusty, I have some very bad news. 338 00:16:35,989 --> 00:16:38,257 The foreign Krustys are all hotter than you. 339 00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:41,127 Irish Krusty's got a show on Broadway. 340 00:16:41,161 --> 00:16:42,895 Oi, where's your monkey? 341 00:16:42,929 --> 00:16:44,263 There never was a monkey. 342 00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:45,631 I was just tellin' stories 343 00:16:45,665 --> 00:16:47,299 to forget me consumption. 344 00:16:50,404 --> 00:16:51,437 Well, you see there, 345 00:16:51,471 --> 00:16:53,172 they need to hit the word "monkey" harder 346 00:16:53,206 --> 00:16:54,807 if they want to get a laugh. 347 00:16:54,841 --> 00:16:56,876 Don't you get what I'm trying to tell you? 348 00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:59,912 You are now the least popular Krusty in the world. 349 00:16:59,946 --> 00:17:01,914 What about Romanian Krusty? 350 00:17:01,948 --> 00:17:04,049 What, you mean President-for-Life Krusty? 351 00:17:05,619 --> 00:17:07,553 I still get a piece, right? 352 00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:09,455 Putz. You're the least successful 353 00:17:09,489 --> 00:17:11,090 version of you there is. 354 00:17:11,124 --> 00:17:12,191 A piece. 355 00:17:12,225 --> 00:17:14,894 Now, let's see where this goes. 356 00:17:14,928 --> 00:17:17,596 Irish Krusty, this is your baby. 357 00:17:17,631 --> 00:17:20,933 The only thing working round here is your libido. 358 00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:23,169 Now I know why Ma walked into the sea 359 00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:26,172 with her pockets full of rocks, on Christmas. 360 00:17:26,206 --> 00:17:29,608 Why doesn't this material work for me? 361 00:17:29,643 --> 00:17:32,845 Seymour, the cops are on their way. 362 00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:40,119 Here's a bus ticket to Juarez and your fake I.D. 363 00:17:40,153 --> 00:17:41,520 Oh, come on, 364 00:17:41,555 --> 00:17:42,922 I don't look anything like this 365 00:17:42,956 --> 00:17:43,956 "Dick Fiddler." 366 00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:45,891 No, you don't... yet. 367 00:17:47,994 --> 00:17:49,295 I don't want to sound ungrateful, 368 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,096 but could I eat one of the potatoes? 369 00:17:51,131 --> 00:17:55,000 Sorry, but Dick Fiddler is allergic to potatoes. 370 00:17:55,035 --> 00:17:56,302 I understand. 371 00:18:03,677 --> 00:18:04,877 Dad? 372 00:18:04,911 --> 00:18:06,612 Thanks for sticking up for me. 373 00:18:08,315 --> 00:18:10,449 Someday I may have to fake my own death. 374 00:18:10,484 --> 00:18:12,384 And maybe you can help me with that. 375 00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:13,652 Sure, Dad. 376 00:18:13,687 --> 00:18:14,854 Someday soon. 377 00:18:14,888 --> 00:18:16,989 As in, what are you doing this Friday? 378 00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:20,392 Aah! Dick Fiddler! 379 00:18:20,427 --> 00:18:22,795 Gentlemen, I can't run away from what I've done. 380 00:18:22,829 --> 00:18:24,730 I accept that I killed my mother. 381 00:18:24,764 --> 00:18:27,166 My whole life, she's belittled me. 382 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,802 Maybe deep down, I'm glad. 383 00:18:29,836 --> 00:18:31,470 This has gone far enough. 384 00:18:31,505 --> 00:18:34,039 I'm starting to think this "school project" 385 00:18:34,074 --> 00:18:35,841 is more than meets the eye. 386 00:18:35,876 --> 00:18:37,743 Mother? You're alive? 387 00:18:37,777 --> 00:18:40,479 Seymour, when this fat guy and his kid 388 00:18:40,514 --> 00:18:42,681 asked me to fake my death to punish you, 389 00:18:42,716 --> 00:18:45,684 I said, "Sure, that's something to do." 390 00:18:45,719 --> 00:18:48,220 You know, when you glare like that, 391 00:18:48,255 --> 00:18:50,155 you look really beautiful. 392 00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:51,991 Mm-hmm. 393 00:18:52,025 --> 00:18:53,692 But when I just heard you say 394 00:18:53,727 --> 00:18:56,428 you were glad to see me dead... 395 00:18:56,463 --> 00:18:59,398 I thought, "Now I'm gonna be meaner to you than ever." 396 00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,000 How is that possible? 397 00:19:01,034 --> 00:19:04,003 I've stopped taking those pills that keep me nice. 398 00:19:09,442 --> 00:19:10,743 ♪ Fiddler! ♪ 399 00:19:10,777 --> 00:19:13,946 ♪ Fiddler, you look stupid ♪ 400 00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:16,682 ♪ In that beard ♪ 401 00:19:16,716 --> 00:19:20,085 ♪ Fiddler! ♪ 402 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,889 ♪ This dream is getting weird. ♪ 403 00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:37,497 So I heard many of you 404 00:19:37,531 --> 00:19:41,334 are dissatisfied with my 75% cut of your take. 405 00:19:41,368 --> 00:19:44,471 Well, we did consider letting you keep more. 406 00:19:45,606 --> 00:19:47,006 But instead, 407 00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:49,342 we're giving you something even better. 408 00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:52,912 I will do a guest shot on each of your shows. 409 00:19:52,947 --> 00:19:54,814 Huh? Eh? 410 00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:58,051 Twist him like a balloon. 411 00:19:58,085 --> 00:19:59,586 Cut off his hey-heys. 412 00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,488 Let's slice him up and cook him 413 00:20:01,522 --> 00:20:03,389 in our traditional dishes. 414 00:20:03,424 --> 00:20:04,991 Krusty, can't you think of something? 415 00:20:05,025 --> 00:20:06,893 I'm very bad in a crisis. 416 00:20:06,927 --> 00:20:08,428 I also can't ad-lib, 417 00:20:08,462 --> 00:20:11,064 memorize anything, improv or tell a joke. 418 00:20:11,098 --> 00:20:12,899 Uh, you know, why did you even become a clown? 419 00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:14,934 Well, I was supposed to be one of the sad ones. 420 00:20:14,969 --> 00:20:19,969 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 421 00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:24,277 ♪ They smoke, they toke 422 00:20:24,311 --> 00:20:26,513 ♪ They smoke and toke and smoke ♪ 423 00:20:26,547 --> 00:20:27,647 ♪ Ha! 424 00:20:27,681 --> 00:20:29,883 ♪ Smoke, smoke, smoke 425 00:20:29,917 --> 00:20:31,885 ♪ Toke, toke, toke 426 00:20:31,919 --> 00:20:37,557 ♪ The Itchem and Scratchem Blow ♪ 427 00:20:37,591 --> 00:20:38,658 ♪ Ha! 428 00:21:02,352 --> 00:21:03,669 Shh!