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00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,130
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:07,340
(tires screeching)
3
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:10,510
D'oh!
4
00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:11,720
(screams)
5
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,346
(tires screeching)
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Welcome to lecture number eight
on the water balloon.
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00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,780
Yesterday I asked everyone
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00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,783
to think of other liquids
you could fill a balloon with.
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00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,326
Water?
(groans)
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00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,911
Thank you, Nelson.
Anyone else?
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00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:37,954
Hot sauce?
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00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,749
Kearney,
that could blind someone.
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-You get an "A."
-(grunts)
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Now, for a practical
demonstration.
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First, we load the ordnance...
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then select the target.
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Hmm, not Otto--
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00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,427
He'd drive us off a cliff.
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00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:55,305
Off a cliff?
That would solve everything!
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00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,514
(laughing):
Whoa-ho-ho.
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Bingo.
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Bart!
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(grunting and groaning)
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Why can't you be friends,
like me and Mr. Finger?
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You've betrayed me
for the last time.
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-(grunting and groaning)
-RALPH: Ow.
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Horseplay on a school bus?
Has the world gone mad?
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Your stop!
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(screams)
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(screeching)
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Shame on you two creeps!
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It's your fault,
for giving birth
to my archenemy!
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At least I was planned.
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(grunting and groaning)
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Stop it! No one was planned!
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Now, we have to pack
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for Great-Uncle Tyrone's
birthday tomorrow.
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In Dayton!
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Dayton, Ohio!
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-Oh!
-Oh!
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00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,038
It's got Wright-Patterson
Air Force Base
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and a zipper museum!
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They have a zipper
from every James Bond!
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00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,794
Why are we even going?
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00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:11,589
Last year, Uncle Tyrone
was bitter and depressed.
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♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
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Why won't I die?
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MARGE:
We're staying
at the Dayton Arms Hotel.
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00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:25,436
It got three diamonds
from Five Diamond magazine!
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00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,729
Please don't make us go.
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00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,481
If you make me get
on that plane,
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I'll give myself diarrhea!
I know how!
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00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,776
Okay, don't go.
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00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,695
Just stay here
and rot with Grampa.
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I'm only rotting
on the right side.
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I'll right-side you!
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00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,994
All right, kids,
you don't have to go.
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00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,414
But I insist we do
something tonight as a family.
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00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,625
We'll play board games,
put photos in an album,
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00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,961
measure how much you've grown...
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00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:51,796
What is your deal, anyway?
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00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,007
Well, I-I...
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00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,384
Let's just rent a movie.
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Hmm...
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Oh, yeah!
That's the stuff!
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(gasps, then groans)
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(laughing, grunts)
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Brideshead's gonna get revisited
tonight, baby!
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00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,779
Oh!
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00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,365
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
The computer says
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00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,660
the movie Chocolate Star Wars
doesn't exist.
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I say you don't exist!
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No, I'm right here,
under "Staff."
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00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,668
What I want
is a really good "weeper."
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00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,295
What about Love Story?
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00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,380
It's about a Harvard chick
that puts out for a guy
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00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,882
and then croaks.
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00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,885
And it saved Paramount Studios
for Charlie Bluhdorn.
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00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,887
Ooh!
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00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,263
A chick flick?!
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00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,891
Oh, say it ain't so, ho!
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00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,644
Son, seeing sappy movies
with a lady
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has certain "payoffs."
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Like what?
They'll do something
with you that they hate?
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Exactly.
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HOMER:
♪ Where do I begin ♪
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♪ To tell the story
of how great a love can be? ♪
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♪ The sweet love story
that is older than the sea ♪
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♪ The simple something
that dum-deedle-dum-dee-dee ♪
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♪ Now let's push play. ♪
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RYAN O' NEAL:
What can you say about
a 25-year-old girl who died?
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00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,134
BART:
I say bury her,
before she starts to smell.
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00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,469
-(chuckles)
-Bart!
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00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:26,641
The man asked
a question.
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00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:29,018
Love means never having to say
you're sorry.
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No, it doesn't!
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00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,354
This movie is drivel!
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00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,022
She's wooden
and unpleasant,
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00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,984
and no matter what he does,
he's still Ryan O'Neal.
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00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,402
Opinion noted.
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00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,821
Now, if you don't mind,
your father and I
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are trying to lose ourselves
in this romantic fantasy.
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Yeah, we're tryin'
to create a mood here,
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so shut the hell up!
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(grunting)
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Homie, if I died,
would you be sad?
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00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,964
Eh, well, I wouldn't be happy.
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Aw, Homie.
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Love means never
having to say...
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...a whole canoe
made of baloney?!
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(laughs)
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Bart, stop fooling
with the remote!
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Lisa made me!
With a witch's spell!
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It's called Wicca,
and it's empowering!
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Wicca's a Hollywood fad!
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That's Kabala, jerk!
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(grunting and groaning)
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Stupid kids
ruin everything.
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So, um... you're not
in the mood anymore, are you.
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Homie, you know I'm usually
good for a triple-X throwdown,
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but between those kids
and going to Uncle Tyrone's,
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we can't be alone.
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We're alone now.
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BART:
You're never alone
in this crapshack!
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Why, you little...!
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(grunts)
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(Bart's strangled groans)
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What kind of an airline
routes all their flights
through Nome, Alaska?
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It's their hub.
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Homie, look at them!
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(excited, indistinct
conversation)
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Honeymooners--
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no kids, no worries.
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Here's your future!
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(laughs)
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Not me, I do crunches.
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Remember our honeymoon?
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(Hawaiian music plays)
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(crow squawks, dog howls)
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Oh, I've gotta
get back to work.
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Hold that thought.
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(retching)
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WOMAN (over P.A.):
Attention Miami passengers,
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Suntan Airlines
is now boarding rows
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"Piña Colada"
through "Daiquiri."
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(cheering)
147
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,770
You know, if we were
younger and crazier,
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we'd trade in these tickets
and run off to Miami!
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Marge, let's do it.
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00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:41,901
What about Uncle Tyrone?
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00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,320
We got one weekend to ourselves,
and we gotta spend it
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watching some old geezer's
odometer turn over?
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00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:51,702
As the Bible says:
"Screw that!"
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We don't have boarding passes,
but we need to get on that plane
155
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,457
for reasons
that are utterly insane.
156
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Go ahead,
what do I care?
157
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I'm getting
laid off tomorrow.
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(giggling)
159
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,967
We're ditching our kids and
taking a second honeymoon!
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00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,468
(cheering)
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00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,847
And we're blowing off
Uncle Tyrone's birthday!
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(cheering louder)
163
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You guys are such party animals,
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we're gonna skip the safety
check and just take off!
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(cheering louder)
166
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I'm afraid we've
overbooked this flight...
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(groans)
168
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,824
So much for getting
my groove back.
169
00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:31,868
...so we're upgrading
you to first class.
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00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,287
There's
a first class?
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00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,040
Sir, what would you
like for dinner?
172
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A steak,
or two steaks?
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Can I have both?
174
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,086
Of course.
175
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This is so luxurious.
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I feel like
I'm Princess Grace
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and Princess Di
smashed together.
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00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,972
And look at me.
I'm reading The Economist.
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00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:56,184
Did you know Indonesia
is at a crossroads?
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-No!
-It is.
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BROCKMAN:
I guess you could call him
182
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,148
the little tortoise
that couldn't.
183
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,025
See our Web site
for the recipe.
184
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:05,985
This just in--
a monster tornado
185
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,904
is tearing through
Dayton, Ohio.
186
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:08,946
(gasps)
187
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,406
That's where
Mom and Dad are!
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BROCKMAN:
Looks like the twister
189
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,618
is headed right
for the Dayton Arms Hotel.
190
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:16,746
(screaming)
191
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They might not be dead.
192
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They could be in the basement.
193
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Oh... I'm an orphan.
194
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:35,014
I'm a legal guardian.
195
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:36,891
-(ringing)
-How can I be a parent?
196
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:39,727
I break my teeth
on ribbon candy.
197
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,103
(groans)
198
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,438
Quiet, Grampa.
199
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,190
Hello... Mom?
200
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,316
Hi, sweetie.
201
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,109
We're just calling
to check in.
202
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,070
Where are you?
Are you okay?
203
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,446
Right here in Dayton.
204
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,447
(snickering)
205
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,406
(glasses clink)
206
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,534
At the Dayton Arms
Hotel?
207
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,118
Yup.
It's really boring.
208
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,162
You kids would
have hated it.
209
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,330
(giggles)
210
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,666
So, how's the weather
in Dayton?
211
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,669
Oh, you know, typical
boring Dayton weather.
212
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,045
(moans)
213
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,589
Hey, do I hear
a back rub?
214
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,551
No, no, that's
the, uh,
215
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,719
the noise
the phone makes
216
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,137
when you've been
on too long.
217
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,014
Bye now. Love you.
218
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,516
Something's fishy.
219
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:20,518
They're not in Dayton,
they're somewhere fun.
220
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,311
We're not enough
fun for them?
221
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,897
Well, I know how to find
out where they are.
222
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:29,360
WOMAN:
Swelldorado Hotel Miami Beach,
223
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,696
"Sun and water without
your son and daughter."
224
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,155
How may I direct your call?
225
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,533
I can't go to Miami.
226
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:38,411
I'm expecting calls
from telemarketers!
227
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:39,954
You'll love it.
228
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,582
It's full of sexy old widows
who don't want to die alone.
229
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:43,874
Waah-ha!
230
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,085
All right, ladies,
get ready to settle.
231
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,921
Boy, it's great
being here
232
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,923
without those
children of yours.
233
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,426
Yeah, I've never
sat by a pool this long
234
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,970
without having
to apologize to someone.
235
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:59,932
And tonight, we'll finally,
and romantically, hump.
236
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:03,269
Here's to life
without children.
237
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,521
Well, we can't
wait to have kids.
238
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,898
(hysterical laughter)
239
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:08,983
"Can't wait."
240
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,943
(laughing)
241
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,904
No, seriously, with
the new breast pumps
242
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,449
and Diaper Genies
and corporate flex-time,
243
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,492
child-rearing
ought to be a snap.
244
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,286
(laughing)
245
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,955
You keep
thinking that.
246
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,003
We're here!
247
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,296
And it's a good
thing, too.
248
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,506
The car's been driving
funny since Orlando.
249
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,305
Everything
happens to Eemore.
250
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,601
Let's go find Mom and Dad!
251
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,102
First let's slap on
some Band-Aids,
252
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,854
so they feel really bad
for ditching us.
253
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:51,150
Time to find a woman
who needs some TLC--
254
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,778
a tired liver-spotted coot.
255
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,864
( Miami Vice theme plays)
256
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,379
(horns honking)
257
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:16,258
(hip-hop music blasts)
258
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,593
(swing melody):
♪ ...In the army now ♪
259
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,928
♪ A-blowin' reveille ♪
260
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:22,264
♪ He's the boogie-woogie
bugle boy of Company B... ♪
261
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,518
Check out
the well-aged beef.
262
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:26,519
No scar.
263
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,396
He must be on his first heart.
264
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,856
I wouldn't kick him
out of bed for dying.
265
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,274
(purring)
266
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,275
Hey, handsome,
267
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,152
pull up a donut and sit down.
268
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,364
Hey, ladies!
I used to be in movies.
269
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,990
(women muttering excitedly)
270
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,284
You know those feet sticking out
from under the house
271
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,577
in The Wizard of Oz?
272
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,287
You're looking at them.
273
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,832
(shuddering)
274
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,549
♪ Come on, everybody,
have some sexual congress ♪
275
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,968
♪ Not the kind of congress
that contained Paul Tsongas... ♪
276
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,553
(gasping)
277
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:02,805
The kids tracked us down.
278
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,181
(groans)
279
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,433
Our romantic holiday
280
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,810
just became a stinkin'
family vacation.
281
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,354
Marge, I won't
let that happen.
282
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,940
We have to grab this chance
for romance now,
283
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,400
or we'll
never be alone.
284
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,026
Not till Lisa's
in college
285
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,195
and we've lost
contact with Bart.
286
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,198
You're right,
but where do we go?
287
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:24,285
I've got a card that can take us
anywhere in the world.
288
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,709
MARGE:
Step on it!
289
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,211
Those horn-dogs--
they ditched us again.
290
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,629
You know what
this means?
291
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,215
We have a free hotel room
in Miami for two days?
292
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,885
No, we're going to follow them
across this great land,
293
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,721
making sure they don't
have one moment of fun.
294
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:46,182
And I have a card that can take
us anywhere they go.
295
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:54,732
MAN: I'm sorry.
296
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:55,733
We're not supposed
to give out
297
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,109
passengers' itineraries.
298
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,110
I understand.
299
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,695
Hey, what's that
crazy girl doing?
300
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,864
I'm going into
the Gold Medallion Club,
301
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,574
with silver-level membership.
302
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,785
(crazed laughter)
303
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,453
The hell you are!
304
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:08,579
(cocks gun)
305
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,583
So, Mom and Dad are
going to Atlantic City...
306
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:14,376
...but their luggage isn't.
307
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,795
(evil chuckling)
308
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,172
And Homer's getting
the low-fat meal.
309
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,758
HOMER:
No!
310
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,386
You're more boring
than my husband,
311
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,554
and he's dead.
312
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,807
Well, I bet I smell better.
313
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,517
At the moment,
it's about even.
314
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,521
I can't wait till we bury
the last of you Hepburn types.
315
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,855
-Really!
-(moans)
316
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,857
Perhaps I can help.
317
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,984
I have a penthouse
from which
318
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,487
you can see all
the way to EPCOT.
319
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,280
If you take
a woman there,
320
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,157
she will be yours.
321
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,325
Hot ziggety!
322
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:49,036
Indeed. I am Raoul.
323
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:51,831
While we walk, may
I place my hand
324
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,208
on your shoulder as
a sign of friendship?
325
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:55,459
Why not?
326
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,884
(passionate moaning)
327
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:07,137
Homie, people in the other
elevators can see us.
328
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,931
Oh, yeah, like people
in New Jersey
329
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,891
have never seen
a fat man making out.
330
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,643
It's on the freakin'
state flag.
331
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,188
Oh, my God, Homie-- look!
332
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:18,899
(grunting)
333
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,901
That boy failed
show and tell,
334
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,821
but he's on our ass
like Sherlock Holmes.
335
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:26,282
Hey, how you doing?
336
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,700
I'm fighting
a white rhino
337
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,201
today at
the Tropicana.
338
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,496
Shows at 2:00, 4:00, 6:00,
8:00, 10:00 and midnight.
339
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:33,914
Check it out. Come on.
340
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,417
Hey, kids, I'm tying
balloons on the boardwalk
341
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,044
at 3:00, 5:00, 7:00,
9:00 and 11:00.
342
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,630
Check it out, come on,
don't be ridiculous.
343
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:49,263
(espionage-flavored
jazz playing)
344
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:04,445
(music continues)
345
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:20,878
(music continues)
346
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:39,229
(music continues)
347
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:54,828
(music continues)
348
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,420
(music fades)
349
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,673
(snoring)
350
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,299
(knocking)
351
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,384
Occupied!
352
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,094
(snoring)
353
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,846
GRAMPA:
Okay, Raoul,
354
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,265
let's go meet
some senoritas!
355
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:18,185
Grampa, I must confess.
356
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,521
I am not as interested
in women
357
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,898
as my open shirt
might suggest.
358
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,192
To be frank, they disgust me.
359
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,360
Uh-oh.
360
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,653
Yes.
361
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,780
Now, let us enjoy
one of your rambling,
362
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:33,325
disjointed yet
somehow erotic tales.
363
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,453
Are you going
to go lavender on me?
364
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,663
We shall see, eh?
365
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:40,082
But I promise you
I will treasure
366
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:43,585
every word that drops
from your beautiful lips.
367
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,586
Really?
368
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,213
You're sweet.
369
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,633
Proceed.
370
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,510
For many years,
I was a tater farmer,
371
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:56,140
but the shameful truth is,
the taters farmed me.
372
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:59,143
Your neck skin
dances when you speak.
373
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:03,522
At last, we're alone.
374
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:06,483
(sings stripper music)
375
00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,198
Homie, the waiter's
still here.
376
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,324
Oh, right.
377
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,202
Thank you, sir.
378
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,166
(chuckles)
379
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:26,128
And now, my darling,
it's finally time for romance.
380
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,714
But before the intercourse,
the dinner course.
381
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,090
Busted!
382
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,175
You guys
lied to us!
383
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:32,551
You probably do this
all the time.
384
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:33,719
This whole family
385
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,387
is built on a tissue
of lies and romance!
386
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:36,555
Yeah,
it's a tissue,
387
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,057
covered in blood
and boogers!
388
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,768
Would you two
just shut up!
389
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,269
Sure, we lied.
390
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:44,772
We lied so we could
spend a single night
391
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:48,067
as a married couple without
worrying about you kids.
392
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,319
Those days are over.
Give it up.
393
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:51,320
(sighs)
394
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:52,696
You win, kids.
395
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,490
Just sleep here tonight
396
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:58,035
and we'll all go back
to Springfield tomorrow.
397
00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,578
Great!
What do you
want to play?
398
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,372
How about "The Floor
is Made of Lava?"
399
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,374
(kids laughing)
400
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,294
(bedsprings squeaking)
401
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:10,047
All I wanted was
a second honeymoon,
402
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,716
and now the floor
is made of lava.
403
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,262
Lise, you awake?
404
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,597
Yeah, I can't sleep.
405
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,891
Maybe we should give
Mom and Dad a break.
406
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:23,352
You know, go spend the day
in an amusement park
407
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,812
so we're out of their hair.
408
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:25,896
Yeah, I agree.
409
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,606
I mean, you are
pretty annoying.
410
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,650
I guess the hunt
was more fun than the catch.
411
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,235
Hey, I just zinged you.
412
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,529
I know.
My new thing is to ignore you.
413
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,241
When you grow up,
I'll be outside.
414
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:40,994
I'm grown up! I'm grown up!
415
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,084
I knew if we
got up early enough,
416
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,044
we could sneak away
from Bart and Lisa.
417
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,381
Kids don't beat me,
I beat kids.
418
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,758
And nobody
does it better.
419
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,304
(screaming)
420
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,515
You monsters!
You followed us!
421
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:02,891
No, you don't
understand.
422
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,476
We came here to give
you some privacy and...
423
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,436
We understand
perfectly well!
424
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,813
Let me finish
my sentence.
425
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,565
Never!
426
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,066
This way!
427
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,277
Quick, we can
hide in here!
428
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,361
I don't know.
429
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,363
Homie, why don't we
just go home,
430
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,198
wait till the kids
fall asleep,
431
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,700
and have sex
in the car?
432
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:22,327
Because I was saving
that for my birthday.
433
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,121
Now, come on.
434
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,292
(laughing)
435
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,043
Ooh!
436
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,548
This must be what it's
like to be in space.
437
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:36,049
You've been to space?!
438
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,927
And yet, I've never
been to me.
439
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,350
HOMER:
That sliding should stop soon.
440
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,394
This rolling
is just temporary.
441
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,355
Ah, that's better.
442
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:53,567
So why do they call this place
Niagara Falls, anyway?
443
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,404
(screaming)
444
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,450
Back off, Canadians.
We got them.
445
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,826
You back off, hosers.
446
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,078
They're in
Canadian waters, eh!
447
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,956
Beat it, you puck-slapping
maple-suckers!
448
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,752
Take a hike, you
Shatner-stealing
Mexico-touchers!
449
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,214
(men grunting)
450
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,258
Oh, Marge, I guess
we'll just have
451
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,676
to make love
in Heaven.
452
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,553
I bet it always
works up there.
453
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:24,348
Shut up and kiss me,
you doomed hunk.
454
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:36,652
MAN:
Ahoy, moon bounce!
455
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,612
Is anyone alive?
456
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,990
More alive than
any of you squares!
457
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:47,287
(gibbering happily)
458
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,122
(both laughing wildly)
459
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:50,707
HOMER:
Ow! You're on my hair!
460
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,542
Oh... that's better.
461
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:55,087
Well, it looks like
everything worked out
462
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,672
just fine
for everybody.
463
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,048
FLANDERS:
Hey, my credit card bill
464
00:20:58,131 --> 00:20:59,716
seems a little chunky
this month.
465
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,803
Let's see what's going on
vis-à-vis the Viza.
466
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:03,804
This...
467
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,597
(shrieks)
468
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,349
(screams)
469
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:19,069
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
470
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:54,688
Shh!
471
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,693
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